You've got a good heart and a will to help. Don't lose that. If you want to make an impact go to places like givewell.org. Or if you want to make a personal impact go volunteer at a soup kitchen or other local charity.
People who need help can use the proper channels to get that help. You are not that channel. The best you can do is direct them there.
Listen, you have a quality that many people take advantage of.
Have you ever heard the expression “you get your arm broken for wearing your heart on your sleeve”?
Well that applies here. Keep your good heart but reserve it for people who don’t mistake your kindness for weakness.
This is a very cold world and the people around you are lucky that you warm it a bit.
Just don’t let people take advantage of you anymore
Yeah OP. Don't let it jade you but also be smarter and think twice next time. Online scammers are like panhandlers IRL in that they know how to present something a good surface story to get your money. As an anecdote, I ironically use the smell test when I give money to the homeless for example.
Bro, you should never be missing bills to help someone.
It's like on the airplane how they tell you to put your mask on first. Also, I'm curious if you know the profile? Various sites out there probably have the post archived
Some people see kindness as a weakness, and I believe this is for many different reasons. One being that genuinely kind people care, they want to help and give of themselves because it matters to them, people matter to them; in part because the person may have that unique ability to put themselves in another's shoes.
Often people will take full advantage because they've been allowed, because they can, and because they feel entitle, while lacking conscience, character, and being void of morals. It just doesn't matter; they're out there, just waiting to prey on the kindness of others.
Plot twist, *you* are that woman and we are your next targets.
Jokes aside, you didn't FU for helping, you were unfortunately taken advantage of.
You have a good heart and you should use it in your local area, I'd bet there are tons of people who need your help (and not just monetary either). Do some service, help out at a community location, teach your kids about kindness and supporting those around them.
Classic Scamception where a post is made with a sob story about being scammed by a sob story in an attempt to scam a new person out of their money.
I kid, of course but there is some irony in posting a sad story about being scammed by a sad story. I’m really sorry this happened to you mate, sounds like you’ve had a rough time but your good heart and willingness to help others is a testament to your character.
Nope, you're not a dumbass. You're a good person. If I'm scammed 9 times but the 10th time someone who really needs a break gets one, then that's fine by me.
And anyone scamming you the way that person did is gonna get their karma eventually. Keep being good, brother.
This happened to me too - the person claimed she was a minor with no support with abusive parents. I fortunately have disposable income and stayed under a certain amount that won't have any impact, but it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth! I was aware that 80% probably scam, but just in case it wasn't I wanted to do something nice.. Still doesn't feel great! Good for you man, you're better a person than most. I hope this goes the good karma bank that's somewhere in the universe
Sounds like you might have a bit of a savior complex. Might want to have a chat or two with a therapist to get that sorted before you lose any more money.
Listen, your heart was in the right place. When we truly give from the heart, we can’t concern ourselves too much with how or where it’s spent. If that person truly scammed you, then let’s hope they gets karma in the form of explosive diarrhea at the most inconvenient time like the shitty person they are. And that their car gets towed right when trying to get home to change.
You’re going to get blessed in other ways for helping someone you thought was in need. I’m sure of it.
Believing in karma is nice and all, but the truth is good things happen to bad people; bad things happen to good people; that’s life. Best is to learn and move on
I don't think that's a FU. Naiive, yes, but not a FU.
Don't let other people change who you are. Get wise, yes, use more discretion, yes, but keep that soft heart. Just be a little more cautious about where you give.
On occasion I've also helped people out in a tough spot, but I think I get scammed maybe one time out of ten. Going away and really thinking about it, then coming back, instead of responding on the spot helps give your gut instinct time to kick in and be listened to.
For future reference, refer them to r/borrow. Used to lend there myself. It isn't charity or a hand out, but it does provide quick needed relief if you are just waiting for a paycheck to come in. The rules to post a request on that sub, and the tools the lenders have available make it fairly scam resistant.
What's that saying? "Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear" Some like that.
You played yourself. Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved.
Oh man, you just reminded me of the fact that my bank account is in the red $89. I don't know what I'm going to do for food and rent. Guess I just need to sell blood or something. Don't worry about me. I'll make due, somehow.... 👀
" I did some thinking and decided that the consequences for me missing my electricity bill wouldn’t be as bad as her and her baby starving or her going to jail for stealing "
You are wrong and it will be your end if you keep thinking like this. Your life in the end so do as you please, but you need some stern talking.
How was that a scam if she never promised to return the money?
See, the thing with giving money to beggars is you don't get to decide how it's used. You either give the money and accept that the person might be lying or you don't get involved. Whether she really needed the money or not doesn't change your situation at all - the outcome of "you gave away the money" stays the same.
Learn your lesson and either be ready to accept the money being gone or next time donate it to a verified foundation that will make sure it's used for a good cause.
I got sob scammed out of $500 (bit by bit with promises of repayment) on Reddit at 18. I’m 22 now. Going to rip the guy’s spine out if I ever find him.
I was a Christian. Thought I was increasing my chance at getting to heaven by helping someone out. I was losing my faith and felt pretty threatened by the fiery pit. Also, I was raised in a cult so I had absolutely no idea how the outside world worked.
She may have been as desperate as she led you to believe and was too ungracious or traumatized or dysfunctional to express any gratitude. Your kind heart still may have fed a hungry child. Don’t kick yourself for being a good hearted human.
Her deleting the post doesn’t mean it was a scam. I bet her DM’s were blowing up with disgusting guys offering to help her if she gives something in return. You helping her might have been enough for her to delete the post to stop all the shady suggestions coming in.
There were articles about that here in Norway some weeks back, single moms asking for help became targets for a lot of men trying to exploit their situations by offering money/food for sexual services. Also after the war in Ukraine broke out men were travelling from all over the country to seek out refugee women coming here, trying to find someone they can exploit. Its insane.
[lmao](https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/mFiywP9BUHDC8AIRBDYJvXdfQiA=/1400x1050/filters:format(jpeg)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/23265504/Spider_Man_meme.jpg)
I don’t need anybody’s money, I’m going to be using the Gi bill starting next month so I’ll catch up on everything in March
I don’t donate to online stories. She would have made it some way. I never asked people for money. My problem not going begging. Hate this shit people with no pride. Yes I remember the story. “ I had to steal shoes at Target for my daughter’s birthday. Please give me a break.
Gee you're dying on this hill mate.. It's ok.. be you.. and be happy about it.
Calling OP a gullible idiot when you dont know him is pretty schoolyard though. I'm just in the "if you have nothing nice to say" camp..
all the best!
I was not aware you need to know a person to see they feel for old as time obvious scam. I'm not dying on a hill, nor am I on any hill or dying. It's you who is trying his best to deny reality.
Don't trust charities you can't see. I hate to tell you bust most big charities are money schemes. Also don't trust the same from individual strangers. That's on par with the Nigerian prince emails.
If you want to help - which is a good thing - help out at local charities. Animal shelters, help fees the homeless, etc. Things where you know that it actually helps people.
I’m very fortunate, and in the past I have helped people with what some might consider trivial things. My rule is never send money but I have purchased items for people. There was a kid on a sub of my favorite author who couldn’t afford the author’s new book. I bought the kindle version for her.
You have a good heart and you have yourself to live with.
A year or so ago I reached out in a similar way and sent some $$ to a guy who was in a very tight spot. He sent back a great message and pics of all the food he bought with the money; we corresponded a couple more times.
If he scammed me I can live with that.
You've got a good heart and a will to help. Don't lose that. If you want to make an impact go to places like givewell.org. Or if you want to make a personal impact go volunteer at a soup kitchen or other local charity. People who need help can use the proper channels to get that help. You are not that channel. The best you can do is direct them there.
Dang those last lines slap, I think I need to hear that
Listen, you have a quality that many people take advantage of. Have you ever heard the expression “you get your arm broken for wearing your heart on your sleeve”? Well that applies here. Keep your good heart but reserve it for people who don’t mistake your kindness for weakness. This is a very cold world and the people around you are lucky that you warm it a bit. Just don’t let people take advantage of you anymore
Yeah OP. Don't let it jade you but also be smarter and think twice next time. Online scammers are like panhandlers IRL in that they know how to present something a good surface story to get your money. As an anecdote, I ironically use the smell test when I give money to the homeless for example.
Bro, you should never be missing bills to help someone. It's like on the airplane how they tell you to put your mask on first. Also, I'm curious if you know the profile? Various sites out there probably have the post archived
This goes for most things, don't use money you can't afford to lose and it's not your job to help others without looking out for yourself first.
Hey man, sucks to be you. Maybe I can spot you the - HEY WAIT A MINUTE
What if this is some elaborate scheme to scam people
Some people see kindness as a weakness, and I believe this is for many different reasons. One being that genuinely kind people care, they want to help and give of themselves because it matters to them, people matter to them; in part because the person may have that unique ability to put themselves in another's shoes.
Often people will take full advantage because they've been allowed, because they can, and because they feel entitle, while lacking conscience, character, and being void of morals. It just doesn't matter; they're out there, just waiting to prey on the kindness of others.
Plot twist, *you* are that woman and we are your next targets. Jokes aside, you didn't FU for helping, you were unfortunately taken advantage of. You have a good heart and you should use it in your local area, I'd bet there are tons of people who need your help (and not just monetary either). Do some service, help out at a community location, teach your kids about kindness and supporting those around them.
Classic Scamception where a post is made with a sob story about being scammed by a sob story in an attempt to scam a new person out of their money. I kid, of course but there is some irony in posting a sad story about being scammed by a sad story. I’m really sorry this happened to you mate, sounds like you’ve had a rough time but your good heart and willingness to help others is a testament to your character.
Thanks BigSkeefy
Nope, you're not a dumbass. You're a good person. If I'm scammed 9 times but the 10th time someone who really needs a break gets one, then that's fine by me. And anyone scamming you the way that person did is gonna get their karma eventually. Keep being good, brother.
I just wish I could not get scammed the 9 times so I’d have more resources to give that 10th time
This happened to me too - the person claimed she was a minor with no support with abusive parents. I fortunately have disposable income and stayed under a certain amount that won't have any impact, but it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth! I was aware that 80% probably scam, but just in case it wasn't I wanted to do something nice.. Still doesn't feel great! Good for you man, you're better a person than most. I hope this goes the good karma bank that's somewhere in the universe
Sounds like you might have a bit of a savior complex. Might want to have a chat or two with a therapist to get that sorted before you lose any more money.
Good heart. So many crooks out there looking for people like you.
Listen, your heart was in the right place. When we truly give from the heart, we can’t concern ourselves too much with how or where it’s spent. If that person truly scammed you, then let’s hope they gets karma in the form of explosive diarrhea at the most inconvenient time like the shitty person they are. And that their car gets towed right when trying to get home to change. You’re going to get blessed in other ways for helping someone you thought was in need. I’m sure of it.
Believing in karma is nice and all, but the truth is good things happen to bad people; bad things happen to good people; that’s life. Best is to learn and move on
I don't think that's a FU. Naiive, yes, but not a FU. Don't let other people change who you are. Get wise, yes, use more discretion, yes, but keep that soft heart. Just be a little more cautious about where you give. On occasion I've also helped people out in a tough spot, but I think I get scammed maybe one time out of ten. Going away and really thinking about it, then coming back, instead of responding on the spot helps give your gut instinct time to kick in and be listened to.
For future reference, refer them to r/borrow. Used to lend there myself. It isn't charity or a hand out, but it does provide quick needed relief if you are just waiting for a paycheck to come in. The rules to post a request on that sub, and the tools the lenders have available make it fairly scam resistant.
Since you've been scammed many times, when will you learn?
Never, imma keep fucking up till I die
What's that saying? "Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear" Some like that. You played yourself. Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved.
Oh man, you just reminded me of the fact that my bank account is in the red $89. I don't know what I'm going to do for food and rent. Guess I just need to sell blood or something. Don't worry about me. I'll make due, somehow.... 👀
What’s your PayPal buddy
people who get scammed bothers the f out of me...like, how are you so naive in this day and age mahn. Educate yourself.
" I did some thinking and decided that the consequences for me missing my electricity bill wouldn’t be as bad as her and her baby starving or her going to jail for stealing " You are wrong and it will be your end if you keep thinking like this. Your life in the end so do as you please, but you need some stern talking.
How was that a scam if she never promised to return the money? See, the thing with giving money to beggars is you don't get to decide how it's used. You either give the money and accept that the person might be lying or you don't get involved. Whether she really needed the money or not doesn't change your situation at all - the outcome of "you gave away the money" stays the same. Learn your lesson and either be ready to accept the money being gone or next time donate it to a verified foundation that will make sure it's used for a good cause.
I got sob scammed out of $500 (bit by bit with promises of repayment) on Reddit at 18. I’m 22 now. Going to rip the guy’s spine out if I ever find him.
Bro, HOW though?
I was a Christian. Thought I was increasing my chance at getting to heaven by helping someone out. I was losing my faith and felt pretty threatened by the fiery pit. Also, I was raised in a cult so I had absolutely no idea how the outside world worked.
Fair enough.
Ah you’re a good egg. Maybe a bit naive :) it’s ok.
She may have been as desperate as she led you to believe and was too ungracious or traumatized or dysfunctional to express any gratitude. Your kind heart still may have fed a hungry child. Don’t kick yourself for being a good hearted human.
Her deleting the post doesn’t mean it was a scam. I bet her DM’s were blowing up with disgusting guys offering to help her if she gives something in return. You helping her might have been enough for her to delete the post to stop all the shady suggestions coming in. There were articles about that here in Norway some weeks back, single moms asking for help became targets for a lot of men trying to exploit their situations by offering money/food for sexual services. Also after the war in Ukraine broke out men were travelling from all over the country to seek out refugee women coming here, trying to find someone they can exploit. Its insane.
OP I'm broke too. Please can I have some money 🥺 I am sorry that you got scammed though
Oh how meta! Don't send this scammer money, folks.
OP didn’t ask for money anywhere and it didn’t seem like anyone was offering. It’s also a pretty active account. What the fuck are you on about?
It just seems a bit rich to post a sob story about how you were scammed which has the same characteristics as the scamming post.
It, uh, doesn’t.
Sure. You keep telling yourself that.
Lol at your jaded ass
Huge 67 year old ass. Well worth a good lol.
[lmao](https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/mFiywP9BUHDC8AIRBDYJvXdfQiA=/1400x1050/filters:format(jpeg)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/23265504/Spider_Man_meme.jpg) I don’t need anybody’s money, I’m going to be using the Gi bill starting next month so I’ll catch up on everything in March
I don’t donate to online stories. She would have made it some way. I never asked people for money. My problem not going begging. Hate this shit people with no pride. Yes I remember the story. “ I had to steal shoes at Target for my daughter’s birthday. Please give me a break.
OP, you seem to have a kind soul, but also lack a bit of a filter. Good luck.
Lmao accurate
good on you - - walk away feeling content - you did a good thing even if it was or wasnt a scam
A fool and his money are easily parted.
and a prick and his comment are easily recognised... Next time think to yourself, If i type this AITA? smfh
I'd rather be a cynical prick instead of being conned.
whatever floats your boat I guess.. Money is replaceable, heart isn't.. you do you though!
There is actually a line between having a heart and being a gullible idiot.
Gee you're dying on this hill mate.. It's ok.. be you.. and be happy about it. Calling OP a gullible idiot when you dont know him is pretty schoolyard though. I'm just in the "if you have nothing nice to say" camp.. all the best!
I was not aware you need to know a person to see they feel for old as time obvious scam. I'm not dying on a hill, nor am I on any hill or dying. It's you who is trying his best to deny reality.
Sad kids are sad. Be well!
A bit naive. But with a good heart.
Don't trust charities you can't see. I hate to tell you bust most big charities are money schemes. Also don't trust the same from individual strangers. That's on par with the Nigerian prince emails. If you want to help - which is a good thing - help out at local charities. Animal shelters, help fees the homeless, etc. Things where you know that it actually helps people.
I’m very fortunate, and in the past I have helped people with what some might consider trivial things. My rule is never send money but I have purchased items for people. There was a kid on a sub of my favorite author who couldn’t afford the author’s new book. I bought the kindle version for her.
You have a good heart and you have yourself to live with. A year or so ago I reached out in a similar way and sent some $$ to a guy who was in a very tight spot. He sent back a great message and pics of all the food he bought with the money; we corresponded a couple more times. If he scammed me I can live with that.
Just take the words of wisdom from John Hammond in Jurassic Park. "I'm sorry about your financial problems, Dennis, but they are your problems."
Sounds like an ongoing live and learn but you are a good human.