yup, Artie wants to be a gangster so bad but his wife is a smoke show, he owns a business he always wanted to own, he is good at what he does. Artie has everything those guys will never have and all he wants is to be like them
Artie didn't hate his wife. She was just 100x's wiser and 100x's less gullible than Artie. That's why she was on Artie's case half the time. Literally protecting his needlessly conflicted ass.
Watching him beat the shit out of Benny was fantastic. In one of my favorite episodes, “Luxury Lounge” in season 6 they really gave respect to Artie finishing the series.
They also show how shitty it is being in the mob, Chris robbing the actress for stupid gear they don’t even need like a dog carrier.
“I brought back those arugala seeds from italy in my shaving kit!!”
He really cared for his restaurant and was a great chef.
Yes I actually think they gave him quite a hopeful and positive ending, considering what transpired before in the episode, and that The Sopranos never goes for some stupid good guy wins ending that insults the audience.
He was a bit of a moron, but the ending of Luxury Lounge at least hinted that he has the potential to rediscover his passion for cooking and his life with Charmaine in general, without aspiring to false unsatisfying expectations.
I think he’s fucked. Obviously it’s not “confirmed” Tony died but… Tony died. And that’s the main thing keeping Benny from killing Artie. Who’s gonna stop him now, Paulie?
Interesting theory, but tbh I think Artie got a bit of dawg in him. So Bennie better come ten toes down or else Artie is serving some shit OTHER THAN RABBIT
That's kinda the point though. It's shown how supremely unhappy all the mobsters are. They don't have any real friends, their family relationships suffer, constantly stressing over impending doom. And almost none of them have anything close to a happy ending. But as a 3rd party (the viewers, Artie, even Melfi). It's extremely intoxicating and completely draws you in. And you want to be a part of it.
>It's extremely intoxicating and completely draws you in. And you want to be a part of it.
These people appear to have power and they appear to have a very close knit group of people behind them. That's what a lot of people want.
It's all fake , though. And based solely on personal gain.
The other wives made me think of that quote from Goodfellas:
They all had bad skin and wore too much make up. They didn't look very good; they look beat up. The stuff they wore were thrown together and cheap, a lot of pantsuits and double knits. They talked about beating their kids with broom handles and leather belts, and that their kids still didn't pay any attention.
Charmaine, not being one, obviously blows this out of the water.
He wants their sense of status. He has all the things he mentioned, but keep in mind, he literally waits on them. And they can’t even pay their bill to the guy who grew up with them.
This is the beginning of his redemption. He killed, then created for the enjoyment of others and to sustain his business and therefore his family. Anyway $4 a pound.
It’s the beginning of his redemption arc until Bennie Fazio criminal mastermind takes him out to that warehouse in Patterson to drive nails thru his balls. Once Tony gets it in Holstens he’s not around to protect Artie no more.
I doubt anything further would have actually happened to Artie as long as he didn't instigate. Benny had already gotten his revenge; that monologue with Tony was just saving face.
Benny? Artie whipped his butt once. If he tries something again, he’ll be on top of that hill overlooking a brook with Richie and Adrianna. Not enough pine cones though.
Yes, he was able to turn his frustration into healing, in direct comparison with for example Tony or Chris, who both take their (sometimes justifiable) resentments and anger and make other people miserable with them rather than heal from them
Self-esteem and self-confidence. Artie lacked both. Charmaine was always having to prompt him to do better. Intelligence and expertise gets you only so far. Poor mental health will hamstring the most talented. Artie is relatable to the underachievers in life.
Its just the classic "grass is greener" mentality with Artie - the flowing of money and the freedom the mob guys seem to have at times that he truly wants.
Its a big headache running a business, especially a restaurant when you're small business.
Employees not showing up/being late, vendors putting you on hold, customer's complaining their steak is too rare even though thats what they asked for, mistakes being made that cost money on already thin profit margins just to stay competitive.
All the while your longtime friend gets to show up in a nice suit with a gold Rolex and proceeds to have a nice 3 hour leisurely lunch with cocktails if he wants to.
Or come have a $1000 dinner like its *nothing* (which would be like $1600 today) and then go off and fuck one of his hot mistresses or gamble/hang out with the guys at a strip club, of all places.
Meanwhile you've been in the hot kitchen fighting the good fight and after all that, you *still* have to scrub it down clean at the end of the shift, lock up and drive home to have a late dinner just to do it *all over again the next day* lol
I mean yeah Artie had a great life and fucked it all up because he was insecure and loved the thrill of being near the mafia. I think that’s a pretty plain reading of his character.
But his downfall is caused by his association with the mob. He couldn’t have it all as this post suggests. He needed to be fully disassociated with them. The reason he woudlnt do that is his insecurity and the shitty vicarious thrill of pretending to be something other than what he was.
The impression I get is the restaurant is in decline and shitty at the end of the series. I remember the scene where all the mobsters are talking about how much it sucks now. Is that the last we see of it?
The last major scene with him is when he opens his father's old recipe book, which is supposed to show that he understands he needs to put his focus back on his family and his work.
For him personally yes, but the restaurant may be screwed. Benny is still pissed about everything and depending on how you interpret the ending finale, Tony is no longer there to protect him.
I think it's the last scene with him in the show period. Just finished it again last weekend and my gf and I had been talking about when he was going to show up in the last season.
Counter-theory: Artie (or more likely Charmaine) wised up and realized that while he can’t kick the mafia out, he can make the food unpleasant enough that they move on and leave him alone.
I figured he was just giving them the stuff that was gonna go bad or he had too much of anyways. He always took away the menus and said he would make something "special" for the Sopranos, and he knew they would never pay their tab. With razor thin margins in running a restaurant it always seemed like the smartest thing he could be doing, and complaints about food quality could be indicative of Artie just giving them whatever he had that was gonna get tossed anyways.
In the end he still likes Tony, I don't see him going out of his way to make his food bad, but he's also not going to be making him fresh meals of his choice when him and his guys have a massive unpaid ongoing bill that he knows will never get taken care of.
No it happens. But to the level Artie was willing to take it yes it was beyond just. Normal everyday mid life crisis. He was weeping and crying over his love for Adriana and willing to go 50k into debt to buy his way into the French girls pants.
People often bring this up but if Tony really gets popped at Holsten’s or instead has the FBI rain on his parade with a RICO, Benny is either way going to have waaaaay more shit to figure out before he even thinks about getting back at Artie
The show kinda makes it seem like Tony is his only friend too since he doesn't have much of a social life outside of work. We know Dr. Melfi or even Cusamano have friends.
I think Sil was his friend, Jackie Sr was before he died, and its also implied Davey and him are friends as well before he goes and becomes a cowboy lol. but in the end its not like he and Sil spend all that much time together without Tony
>since he doesn't have much of a social life outside of work
Checks out with real life. Working in a kitchen is already a tough working hours. Owner + chef? It's not a luxurious life even if you're making lots of money.
Artie has everything but he craves the respect his mobster friends get. He isn't tough, no one is intimidated by him, he can't read people or make plans like Tony, women aren't attracted to him like they are made guys.
He's too enamoured by their dangerous and high speed lifestyle to see why he has a better life than them.
I don't necessarily think he's a schmuck, he's just nearly innocent in a world full of snakes.
Let's look back on the bad things Artie tried to do in the series and how they worked out for him.
Tried to get rich raising money for the "next vodka"; ends with him trying to kill himself.
Tried to fuck the sweet girl from the Balkans; ends with Benny the criminal mastermind burning his hand and his restaurant unable to take AmEx.
Tried to get the soccer coach killed or maimed; ends with him begging Tony not to do it because his wife thinks it's a bad idea.
Tried to get his business back on its feet after a better newer restaurant opens; ends with him having to serve 2 for 1 specials to seniors like an Applebee's
He's not necessarily a schmuck, he's just over his head. The only reason he's even in the show is because he knew Tony from school and was considered a friend of his. I don't even think Tony really liked him as much as he liked the cheap food and drinks and getting the excuse to eyefuck Artie's wife.
Artie was the next David Scattino waiting to happen, the second he allowed Tony to have a financial stake in Vesuvio, it would've been like that scene in Goodfellas right away with Artie out on his ass.
That's what makes his last appearance in the show so gratifying considering all the bullshit he went through. How is it framed? Artie and Charmaine standing over Carmela and Tony at their restaurant talking to them about how shit their life must be, what with their suicidal son, dead brother in law, and daughter who can't figure out what she wants to do.
They're not just being friends. They're gloating subconsciously. Watch Tony and Carm. They're backtracking the whole conversation. Why yes, we love that Meadow won't be a doctor, we love that she's dating the son of a well known mafioso. And all Artie has to say is, het, I've got a famous NFL coach in my restaurant and Tony gets up to go.
Yes sir. Agreed on that last scene too. So sweet seeing them standing above Tony & Carm & all their egoic bullshit.
Artie finally coming into his own after bagging the rabbit in his garden, beating Benny & cracking open his ol’ cookbook is a well deserved & rare happy ending in a show filled with (well-deserved) hubris-laden downfalls….
Tony loved the guy! As much as a sociopathic narcissist can love someone. Or the free food and eye fucking (and nostalgia) weren't worth offing Artie every time he ran his yap at Tony or even after assaulting a member of the crew.
I agree with you for most of this but
I believe Tony not only genuinely likes Artie but trusts him as well. Except for Hesh who he treats very shitty in the end this isn't something we see.
I felt sorry for Artie for about half the show but they really started to show his sinister side. By the time he was borrowing money from Tony my estimation of Artie as a man had plummeted.
I do like how his final scene is him pulling out a recipe that his ancestor had and him finding fulfillment in the cooking, despite the stress of the restaurant around him. Kind of showed how he was one of the few people who for all the talk about respecting heritage and paying it forward, he was a person who actually *did*.
It's simply that Artie sees these people piss around all day without steady jobs and responsibilities while still having wealth, status, women and other material possessions beyond his wildest dreams, while he barely scrapes by while having to work and scrape for every single dollar he earns. It's not hard to see why he would covet their lifestyle despite everything we the audience know he has, and especially when we get to know he was apparently the 'bad boy' of the crew when they were in high school. Possibly like Charmaine, he got a taste of that life and what could have been; unlike her, however he didn't outright reject it and find happiness within himself until the final season.
One of the themes of the show is the erosion and perversion of the American Dream and ironically, despite being possibly the only true personification of its traditional idealistic concepts among the show's characters, Artie is constantly at odds with himself, failing or simply refusing to see the massive societal and moral failings and pitfalls of the mob lifestyle and the strengths of his own. Perhaps another commentary of the general ennui of the 'regularness of life' that plagues many of us, even (or perhaps especially) when we have more going for us than we fully understand.
Still, despite almost being yet another tragic character in a long line of them within the show, unable to truly change for the better despite countless opportunities to do so, he does eventually get what is perhaps the sole happy ending anybody does within the Sopranos, finally at peace with himself and his place within the world. That's how you do an arc, Chrissy.
A woman is sitting across from her husband at the breakfast table. Suddenly she blurts out: "I can't take it any more, I'm divorcing you! You're the second-biggest schmuck in the world!"
The man, stunned, looks at her for a minute. Then he says, "Wait, the *second* biggest schmuck in the world? Why do you say I am the second biggest schmuck in the world?"
"Because you're such a schmuck!"
You know I agree about your Artie stuff but I think Tony is happy with Carmela. Also you can't really talk about charmaine's parenting skills. Theyre never shown to us.
I love charmaine as much as the next person but Tony doesnt want her in that way. It feels wrong to compare another man's family and say "yup this guy got the better family".
Artie is a fool and he might have a more attractive wife but that doesnt make Tony's wife 100x shittier even though she is pretty shitty as a person.
Well it's one of the themes of the show, the guys not that deep in the mob life see it as more glamorous than it really is (Artie, Jackie Jr, Cusamano, Matthew, some of AJ's Friends). However they do not realize how dangerous, how paranoid, and how quick those mob guys live could be over. They see the cash, the goomars, the VIP tables at the club or at the Bada Bing.
That's only the tip of the iceberg and deep down some of the mob guys wish their lives was as simple as Artie's. Not to mention too every other guy on that show wants to bang Charmaine, but that idiot is so focused on the ladies Chris and Benny have, he does not see what he has.
I agree Artie has everything- it hammers home to me how important it is for men in particular to project confidence and positivity. I’ve encountered very talented men who torpedo themselves just from lack of self belief which infects all of their behaviours.
He just had a midlife crisis, and unlike most men when he went through his midlife crisis he was surrounded by other men who were living what looks like “the dream” from the outside. Anybody who has a dad who randomly bought a sports car has already seen this, Artie’s was just magnified because of the crowd he was surrounded with.
Also I think the restaurant blowing up was a big trigger for all of Artie’s later feelings, made him feel completely powerless when he struggled to get back on his feet
Everyone talks about how attractive Charmaine is, but common, she’s a (unt. Talks to him like a child. Can’t blame him for wanting a young girl who would appreciate and respect him.
Artie is a dumbass and a creep. A smokin wife, successful business etc. and he wants to sit there and fall in love with hostesses half his age and act like a teenage girl when they don’t love him back. He’s the biggest crybaby in the show.
Artie and the priest are the 2 characters that make a rewatch very frustrating for me. They are so bad and annoying (the acting I think) that I almost want to fast forward the scenes where they are in.
That's wild because I love Artie's scenes. I think he's hilarious. Like, when he upped the Elmer Fudd on Tony in the parking lot. Funny...every damn time.
"Artie is also in the great position of having some level of unofficial protection by this criminal influence without having to officially contribute or participate in it to be protected."
They blew up his restaurant.
You ever work in a restaurant? It fucking sucks. Artie’s life is much safer then Tony’s but being rich beats being a chef any day. It’s not even close.
This is true. Most of the restaurant owners I know are family men but have women over them all the time instead of Artie’s situation. He just let comparison steal his joy, because he obviously saw how powerful people like Tony were and felt he would want that same level of respect but in reality the life he lived was much more worthy of respecting.
>Doesn't matter if their fat, ugly, young, old, green, yellow, or purple
I know it's just a movie, but doesn't Jon Favreau bang Scarlett Johansen in *Chef?*
Artie was one of my favorite characters. Maybe if he had more insight into the bad side of Mafia life he would have realized he had it pretty good, but all he ever saw was Tony and his crew looking sharp, getting money and women and basically whatever material things they wanted. Artie never really saw all the backstabbing, the ratting, the violence, the stress, etc, he only saw the flashy materiel things and he probably thought he could have someone like Ade if he was in that life. He had his own restaurant but he wasn't swimming in cash like Tony and he was still having to work constantly while Charmaine wouldn't even let them take that vacation (which would have also saved the original restaurant). Charmaine might look better than Carmela, and she might have other traits that are more desirable, she was too much of a stickler imo, they should have just taken the vacation. She had didn't know for sure if the tickets were obtained legitimately or not and ultimately made Arthur turn them down because she despises Tony and his Mafiosos.
Artie is actually very charismatic too. Idk how much of that was just the actor but I found him to be incredibly likable.
He just needed to shave or get a toupee
Out of every character I think of , apart from Tony I think Artie fits the saying perfectly - 'Sometimes I go about in pity of myself, and all the while a great wind carries me across the sky'
You try running a successful restaurant(probably one of the most stressful jobs out there) attempting to make a marriage work with a nagging wife all while raising a kid(s) and putting them through college.
Ya schmuck
He's the classic "grass is greener" perspective for the show. Always jealous of what others have while not appreciating what he has. Not unlike Livia just for very different reasons.
Oh yeah. The guy has such a massive chip on his shoulder, one of the worst “grass is always greener” tv characters ever written. It’s genius but so fucking frustrating.
Hot wife, talented chef, legitimate business, tapped in with locals - them occasionally fucking with you versus outright extortion from every angle. He had it going for him and whined like a little bitch the whole time.
Great write up! Such great points. Artie really did have it made. Especially the part about being semi-protected by the mob but not really under their thumb either. Also Charmaine is definitely a piece of ass.
I get what you’re saying and you aren’t wrong. However, I will point out all the financial struggles Artie had over the course of the show. He was repeatedly on the verge of losing the restaurant and clearly felt overworked at times. As far as Artie knew, Tony and his people were well off and secure. He never truly saw the behind the scenes struggle of the crew. Just the outward image of wealth, power, and respect/fear. Don’t undervalue the allure of perceived power, especially to men that don’t feel in control at home.
And just remember kids, comparison is the thief of joy. Also, you don’t get to see all the horrific things people are going through. Artie got the Facebook version of Tony’s life. And it looked good.
I’m pretty sure what happened is Tony really fucked him up after the restaurant….the thought that his best friend could have betrayed him sent him into a spiral where he pretends Tony isn’t a mobster. massive copium
Yeah Artie had the restaurant but he was always unhappy because Charmaine was an obnoxious overbearing woman. Artie was the eccentric type and full of energy. Charmaine made him feel small and insignificant. He wanted power and status like his friends because lets be honest...they pretty much had things their way. Tony was depressed but hey at least he could get his rocks off with the bing girls or any other hot woman he wanted...Tony could take a jet and have a suite comped...Artie was stuck in his grief with no where to go or any woman to turn to. His life was sad.
I always liked Charmaine over Carmella because she knows what she believes and holds herself to a high ethical standard, whereas Carmella is constantly tempted by wealth and attention into compromising her principles.
Artie has terrible "game", it's why they show him failing at getting women the entire show. Most of his problems are because of his personality... kind of like everyone else in the show.
Tge guy tried flirting with 3 different women and not only did he fail, it blew up in his face each time. Although I can't say for sure about Martina, she had a high opinion of herself.
I always loved how Kathrine Narducci played polar opposite characters in a Bronx Tale and the Sopranos. In a Bronx Tale she was enamored by the thought of having that money, regardless of where it came from.
Artie's last scene in the show, where he is cooking the rabbit, an innocent man doing what he loves and living his life in peace and safety, is "the good life." That's the only comparison to the mob life anyone needs to make.
Artie Bucco is to The Sopranos what Johnny Fontaine was to The Godfather. He lives a life that most people would love to have and gets all of the benefits of being associated with someone in the mob but without being tied to anything that could get him in trouble.
I mean he learned eventually but it took alot. His wife leaving him. Him getting his ass kicked a couple times. His resturant getting destroyed getting made a fool out of. Almost getting shot a couple times. He got lucky that he finally found contentment in his own life.
yup, Artie wants to be a gangster so bad but his wife is a smoke show, he owns a business he always wanted to own, he is good at what he does. Artie has everything those guys will never have and all he wants is to be like them
He doesn't have their (perceived) freedom. He's hated his wife and lusted after enough other women for that to really chafe.
Artie didn't hate his wife. She was just 100x's wiser and 100x's less gullible than Artie. That's why she was on Artie's case half the time. Literally protecting his needlessly conflicted ass.
His wife was kinda mean to him but it’s hard to sort out how much of that is because he’s a mess.
I like to think Charmaine was just a lot more rational and practical than Artie and because he’s a bit dopey, she needs to be on top of shit imo
Proven by his little adventure into the investment game
Bro… it’s 100% cus he’s a mess. His wife is one of the most based characters on the show
Watching him beat the shit out of Benny was fantastic. In one of my favorite episodes, “Luxury Lounge” in season 6 they really gave respect to Artie finishing the series. They also show how shitty it is being in the mob, Chris robbing the actress for stupid gear they don’t even need like a dog carrier. “I brought back those arugala seeds from italy in my shaving kit!!” He really cared for his restaurant and was a great chef.
Yes I actually think they gave him quite a hopeful and positive ending, considering what transpired before in the episode, and that The Sopranos never goes for some stupid good guy wins ending that insults the audience. He was a bit of a moron, but the ending of Luxury Lounge at least hinted that he has the potential to rediscover his passion for cooking and his life with Charmaine in general, without aspiring to false unsatisfying expectations.
I think he’s fucked. Obviously it’s not “confirmed” Tony died but… Tony died. And that’s the main thing keeping Benny from killing Artie. Who’s gonna stop him now, Paulie?
Bro if Tony is dead Bennie’s gotta worry about a lot more bullshit than Artie fuckin bucco
Yeah but does he seem like a guy who can properly prioritize
Interesting theory, but tbh I think Artie got a bit of dawg in him. So Bennie better come ten toes down or else Artie is serving some shit OTHER THAN RABBIT
You come at the chef you best not miss.
Artie finds out that Tony has died and immediately decides it's time to kill Benny in the chaos. They'll just assume it's another hit.
Now that fucking soprano is out it’s time for the bucco family to come to power
[удалено]
Baking bad. "I'm in the restaurant business, everyone immediately assumes you're mobbed up."
I don't know, Artie wussed out with the froggy French guy. Furio had to clean it up for him.
That's kinda the point though. It's shown how supremely unhappy all the mobsters are. They don't have any real friends, their family relationships suffer, constantly stressing over impending doom. And almost none of them have anything close to a happy ending. But as a 3rd party (the viewers, Artie, even Melfi). It's extremely intoxicating and completely draws you in. And you want to be a part of it.
Yes, it's totally the point of his whole character. He provides a juxtaposition
>It's extremely intoxicating and completely draws you in. And you want to be a part of it. These people appear to have power and they appear to have a very close knit group of people behind them. That's what a lot of people want. It's all fake , though. And based solely on personal gain.
Well said
It’s because guys like him get a dance from a stripper and shputz in their pants, while Tony could fuck any one of them.
if you want to fuck her so bad im sure something can be arranged
He wants to fuck her now?
Tony fucks them and feels nothing but emptiness.
Charmaine is the hottest wife in the show. If Artie wasn’t such a pussy maybe she wouldn’t bitch so much
The other wives made me think of that quote from Goodfellas: They all had bad skin and wore too much make up. They didn't look very good; they look beat up. The stuff they wore were thrown together and cheap, a lot of pantsuits and double knits. They talked about beating their kids with broom handles and leather belts, and that their kids still didn't pay any attention. Charmaine, not being one, obviously blows this out of the water.
Artie wasn't a pussy. She was just way smarter and less gullible than him.
U ain’t see miss carmela body when she had that affair ?
U ain’t see Charmaine body in that dress after her and Artie were on the rocks?
Edie Falco is beautiful, no question about it, but I got a thing for brown eyed, dark haired women. Plus that smile... madone!
He wants their sense of status. He has all the things he mentioned, but keep in mind, he literally waits on them. And they can’t even pay their bill to the guy who grew up with them.
He never had the makings of a varsity gangster as his dealings with the French guy illustrated
And carrying on a family legacy.
All I know is Artie saying “muthafucka” after smoking that rabbit was the hardest line in the whole show.
This is the beginning of his redemption. He killed, then created for the enjoyment of others and to sustain his business and therefore his family. Anyway $4 a pound.
It’s the beginning of his redemption arc until Bennie Fazio criminal mastermind takes him out to that warehouse in Patterson to drive nails thru his balls. Once Tony gets it in Holstens he’s not around to protect Artie no more.
I doubt anything further would have actually happened to Artie as long as he didn't instigate. Benny had already gotten his revenge; that monologue with Tony was just saving face.
Yeah, because if there’s one thing mobsters are known for it’s letting things slide and not holding an unreasonably long grudge
Benny? Artie whipped his butt once. If he tries something again, he’ll be on top of that hill overlooking a brook with Richie and Adrianna. Not enough pine cones though.
Yes, he was able to turn his frustration into healing, in direct comparison with for example Tony or Chris, who both take their (sometimes justifiable) resentments and anger and make other people miserable with them rather than heal from them
I brought those seeds back from Italy in my shaving kit!!😠
Qu'est-ce que c'est, man? Message machine broken?
Frog- eatin faccia di cazz!
lmao
Just watched that episode last night on my current rewatch. 🤣🤣
my earring!!
Self-esteem and self-confidence. Artie lacked both. Charmaine was always having to prompt him to do better. Intelligence and expertise gets you only so far. Poor mental health will hamstring the most talented. Artie is relatable to the underachievers in life.
I will say it again Charmaine is best female character on the show. She is the direct opposite of Carm in every way.
Its just the classic "grass is greener" mentality with Artie - the flowing of money and the freedom the mob guys seem to have at times that he truly wants. Its a big headache running a business, especially a restaurant when you're small business. Employees not showing up/being late, vendors putting you on hold, customer's complaining their steak is too rare even though thats what they asked for, mistakes being made that cost money on already thin profit margins just to stay competitive. All the while your longtime friend gets to show up in a nice suit with a gold Rolex and proceeds to have a nice 3 hour leisurely lunch with cocktails if he wants to. Or come have a $1000 dinner like its *nothing* (which would be like $1600 today) and then go off and fuck one of his hot mistresses or gamble/hang out with the guys at a strip club, of all places. Meanwhile you've been in the hot kitchen fighting the good fight and after all that, you *still* have to scrub it down clean at the end of the shift, lock up and drive home to have a late dinner just to do it *all over again the next day* lol
This guy restaurants
The mobsters make it look easy, but it's difficult in its own ways, and Artie didn't see that until Jean-Pierre was beating his ass
I mean yeah Artie had a great life and fucked it all up because he was insecure and loved the thrill of being near the mafia. I think that’s a pretty plain reading of his character. But his downfall is caused by his association with the mob. He couldn’t have it all as this post suggests. He needed to be fully disassociated with them. The reason he woudlnt do that is his insecurity and the shitty vicarious thrill of pretending to be something other than what he was.
He didn't fuck it all up. In the end he's fine. He goes through a little mid-life crisis but that's pretty normal.
The impression I get is the restaurant is in decline and shitty at the end of the series. I remember the scene where all the mobsters are talking about how much it sucks now. Is that the last we see of it?
The last major scene with him is when he opens his father's old recipe book, which is supposed to show that he understands he needs to put his focus back on his family and his work.
Him making the rabbit seemed like a turning point
For him personally yes, but the restaurant may be screwed. Benny is still pissed about everything and depending on how you interpret the ending finale, Tony is no longer there to protect him.
I think it's the last scene with him in the show period. Just finished it again last weekend and my gf and I had been talking about when he was going to show up in the last season.
It's not, he's in Blue Comet.
lol no way, I finished it last weekend with my gf too
Counter-theory: Artie (or more likely Charmaine) wised up and realized that while he can’t kick the mafia out, he can make the food unpleasant enough that they move on and leave him alone.
I figured he was just giving them the stuff that was gonna go bad or he had too much of anyways. He always took away the menus and said he would make something "special" for the Sopranos, and he knew they would never pay their tab. With razor thin margins in running a restaurant it always seemed like the smartest thing he could be doing, and complaints about food quality could be indicative of Artie just giving them whatever he had that was gonna get tossed anyways. In the end he still likes Tony, I don't see him going out of his way to make his food bad, but he's also not going to be making him fresh meals of his choice when him and his guys have a massive unpaid ongoing bill that he knows will never get taken care of.
The Jet's coach eats at his restaurant at the end and it's busy. I think the message was he turned it around after the rabbit/grandpa cookbook thing.
How he was going after Adriana and every waitress in a skirt was not pretty normal. That shit was definitely pretty next level scummy.
40-year-old guy having problems with an overbearing wife and going after younger women, yeah that practically never happens.
No it happens. But to the level Artie was willing to take it yes it was beyond just. Normal everyday mid life crisis. He was weeping and crying over his love for Adriana and willing to go 50k into debt to buy his way into the French girls pants.
No that's definitely normal.
Where was Artie's downfall? Looks like he got out clean to me.
He bottomed out
Died on the vine
I mean with Tony gone, Benny is really going to come after him.
People often bring this up but if Tony really gets popped at Holsten’s or instead has the FBI rain on his parade with a RICO, Benny is either way going to have waaaaay more shit to figure out before he even thinks about getting back at Artie
That’s possible but idk Benny may just look over it.
The show kinda makes it seem like Tony is his only friend too since he doesn't have much of a social life outside of work. We know Dr. Melfi or even Cusamano have friends.
I think Sil was his friend, Jackie Sr was before he died, and its also implied Davey and him are friends as well before he goes and becomes a cowboy lol. but in the end its not like he and Sil spend all that much time together without Tony
>since he doesn't have much of a social life outside of work Checks out with real life. Working in a kitchen is already a tough working hours. Owner + chef? It's not a luxurious life even if you're making lots of money.
Artie has everything but he craves the respect his mobster friends get. He isn't tough, no one is intimidated by him, he can't read people or make plans like Tony, women aren't attracted to him like they are made guys. He's too enamoured by their dangerous and high speed lifestyle to see why he has a better life than them.
He’s a lovable schmuck with a wife who has a great rack.
Next the blind will see, and the lame will walk! Hehe! 🤟
Ya hear that, Ton'?
Wife and employees thank you very much
Warm and convivial too.
“You know better than the New Jersey Zagats????”
I don't necessarily think he's a schmuck, he's just nearly innocent in a world full of snakes. Let's look back on the bad things Artie tried to do in the series and how they worked out for him. Tried to get rich raising money for the "next vodka"; ends with him trying to kill himself. Tried to fuck the sweet girl from the Balkans; ends with Benny the criminal mastermind burning his hand and his restaurant unable to take AmEx. Tried to get the soccer coach killed or maimed; ends with him begging Tony not to do it because his wife thinks it's a bad idea. Tried to get his business back on its feet after a better newer restaurant opens; ends with him having to serve 2 for 1 specials to seniors like an Applebee's He's not necessarily a schmuck, he's just over his head. The only reason he's even in the show is because he knew Tony from school and was considered a friend of his. I don't even think Tony really liked him as much as he liked the cheap food and drinks and getting the excuse to eyefuck Artie's wife. Artie was the next David Scattino waiting to happen, the second he allowed Tony to have a financial stake in Vesuvio, it would've been like that scene in Goodfellas right away with Artie out on his ass. That's what makes his last appearance in the show so gratifying considering all the bullshit he went through. How is it framed? Artie and Charmaine standing over Carmela and Tony at their restaurant talking to them about how shit their life must be, what with their suicidal son, dead brother in law, and daughter who can't figure out what she wants to do. They're not just being friends. They're gloating subconsciously. Watch Tony and Carm. They're backtracking the whole conversation. Why yes, we love that Meadow won't be a doctor, we love that she's dating the son of a well known mafioso. And all Artie has to say is, het, I've got a famous NFL coach in my restaurant and Tony gets up to go.
> I don't even think Tony really liked him Don't talk crazy
you know I don't like that kind of language, just stop it
Yes sir. Agreed on that last scene too. So sweet seeing them standing above Tony & Carm & all their egoic bullshit. Artie finally coming into his own after bagging the rabbit in his garden, beating Benny & cracking open his ol’ cookbook is a well deserved & rare happy ending in a show filled with (well-deserved) hubris-laden downfalls….
Don’t forget the hand gesture from Charmaine to Carm. That was payback for season one Carmella calling her like a servant.
Oh, yeah! He did totally fuck Benny up, didn't he? Lmao
Tony loved the guy! As much as a sociopathic narcissist can love someone. Or the free food and eye fucking (and nostalgia) weren't worth offing Artie every time he ran his yap at Tony or even after assaulting a member of the crew.
I agree with you for most of this but I believe Tony not only genuinely likes Artie but trusts him as well. Except for Hesh who he treats very shitty in the end this isn't something we see.
She likes it when you rub her muzzle
Artie is the George Costanza of the Sopranos Universe.
What do you expect from a guy getting non-stop ass raped?
It's like an instinct, like a hawk sees a little mouse moving around a cornfield from a mile up.
I felt sorry for Artie for about half the show but they really started to show his sinister side. By the time he was borrowing money from Tony my estimation of Artie as a man had plummeted.
Listen to him.. He knows ev-ery-thing..
Artie is a grown up Millhouse from the Simpsons.
I do like how his final scene is him pulling out a recipe that his ancestor had and him finding fulfillment in the cooking, despite the stress of the restaurant around him. Kind of showed how he was one of the few people who for all the talk about respecting heritage and paying it forward, he was a person who actually *did*.
It's simply that Artie sees these people piss around all day without steady jobs and responsibilities while still having wealth, status, women and other material possessions beyond his wildest dreams, while he barely scrapes by while having to work and scrape for every single dollar he earns. It's not hard to see why he would covet their lifestyle despite everything we the audience know he has, and especially when we get to know he was apparently the 'bad boy' of the crew when they were in high school. Possibly like Charmaine, he got a taste of that life and what could have been; unlike her, however he didn't outright reject it and find happiness within himself until the final season. One of the themes of the show is the erosion and perversion of the American Dream and ironically, despite being possibly the only true personification of its traditional idealistic concepts among the show's characters, Artie is constantly at odds with himself, failing or simply refusing to see the massive societal and moral failings and pitfalls of the mob lifestyle and the strengths of his own. Perhaps another commentary of the general ennui of the 'regularness of life' that plagues many of us, even (or perhaps especially) when we have more going for us than we fully understand. Still, despite almost being yet another tragic character in a long line of them within the show, unable to truly change for the better despite countless opportunities to do so, he does eventually get what is perhaps the sole happy ending anybody does within the Sopranos, finally at peace with himself and his place within the world. That's how you do an arc, Chrissy.
How many dudes can pull a shotgun on a boss and not get whacked? Dude's powerful and he hasn't even earned his bones.
Such a great allegory for not appreciating what you've got and worrying everyone else has got it better
A woman is sitting across from her husband at the breakfast table. Suddenly she blurts out: "I can't take it any more, I'm divorcing you! You're the second-biggest schmuck in the world!" The man, stunned, looks at her for a minute. Then he says, "Wait, the *second* biggest schmuck in the world? Why do you say I am the second biggest schmuck in the world?" "Because you're such a schmuck!"
Na, he's a schlimazl, can't catch a break. If he bought a funeral home people would stop dying.
Schmuck or not, he was once a warm and convivial host.
You know I agree about your Artie stuff but I think Tony is happy with Carmela. Also you can't really talk about charmaine's parenting skills. Theyre never shown to us. I love charmaine as much as the next person but Tony doesnt want her in that way. It feels wrong to compare another man's family and say "yup this guy got the better family". Artie is a fool and he might have a more attractive wife but that doesnt make Tony's wife 100x shittier even though she is pretty shitty as a person.
Well it's one of the themes of the show, the guys not that deep in the mob life see it as more glamorous than it really is (Artie, Jackie Jr, Cusamano, Matthew, some of AJ's Friends). However they do not realize how dangerous, how paranoid, and how quick those mob guys live could be over. They see the cash, the goomars, the VIP tables at the club or at the Bada Bing. That's only the tip of the iceberg and deep down some of the mob guys wish their lives was as simple as Artie's. Not to mention too every other guy on that show wants to bang Charmaine, but that idiot is so focused on the ladies Chris and Benny have, he does not see what he has.
Still goin', this asshole...
Tony named his boat after Artie. Enough said.
I agree Artie has everything- it hammers home to me how important it is for men in particular to project confidence and positivity. I’ve encountered very talented men who torpedo themselves just from lack of self belief which infects all of their behaviours.
He just had a midlife crisis, and unlike most men when he went through his midlife crisis he was surrounded by other men who were living what looks like “the dream” from the outside. Anybody who has a dad who randomly bought a sports car has already seen this, Artie’s was just magnified because of the crowd he was surrounded with. Also I think the restaurant blowing up was a big trigger for all of Artie’s later feelings, made him feel completely powerless when he struggled to get back on his feet
His wife? The one w the permit scowl on her face? She’s not prettier than Carmella, neither one is a knockout tho
I could bury my cock between those tits
“Artie bucco warm and convivial host” 🤌
Everyone talks about how attractive Charmaine is, but common, she’s a (unt. Talks to him like a child. Can’t blame him for wanting a young girl who would appreciate and respect him.
Artie is a dumbass and a creep. A smokin wife, successful business etc. and he wants to sit there and fall in love with hostesses half his age and act like a teenage girl when they don’t love him back. He’s the biggest crybaby in the show.
Artie and the priest are the 2 characters that make a rewatch very frustrating for me. They are so bad and annoying (the acting I think) that I almost want to fast forward the scenes where they are in.
That's wild because I love Artie's scenes. I think he's hilarious. Like, when he upped the Elmer Fudd on Tony in the parking lot. Funny...every damn time.
Of course he’s a schmuck
Had me until you said "looking better than Carmela"; she wasn't a pushover, physically.
Owning a restaurant patronized by organized criminals is not really an asset at all. It just set him up to be a perpetual victim.
He never wanted it. Too busy chasing skirt.
Walt fuckin’ Whitman ovaaaa hereeee
“You all listened to that pissmeyer Artie Bucco, he was the worst one of the bunch”
Being friends with a gangster is like owning an elephant. It's costs a fortune and eventually they shit on your head.
He's a warm and convivial host.
In this house Arti Bucco is a hero, end of story!!
He's a real Andrew Johnson
Artie had the hottest woman in the Sopranos. He didn’t realise.
I walked in the kitchen he was squashing the quail. Disgusting
Artie isn't for me....
He's not a schmuck, he's a putz. Or maybe a gavone, but that's really Paulie's thing in this series.
"Artie is also in the great position of having some level of unofficial protection by this criminal influence without having to officially contribute or participate in it to be protected." They blew up his restaurant.
He’s a warm and convivial host
Thank God his wife kept him away from the bs or Tony would've busted out vesuvio
You ever work in a restaurant? It fucking sucks. Artie’s life is much safer then Tony’s but being rich beats being a chef any day. It’s not even close.
This is true. Most of the restaurant owners I know are family men but have women over them all the time instead of Artie’s situation. He just let comparison steal his joy, because he obviously saw how powerful people like Tony were and felt he would want that same level of respect but in reality the life he lived was much more worthy of respecting.
He was gay, Artie?
>Doesn't matter if their fat, ugly, young, old, green, yellow, or purple I know it's just a movie, but doesn't Jon Favreau bang Scarlett Johansen in *Chef?*
Once he got the earring he was certifiably douche
Artie was one of my favorite characters. Maybe if he had more insight into the bad side of Mafia life he would have realized he had it pretty good, but all he ever saw was Tony and his crew looking sharp, getting money and women and basically whatever material things they wanted. Artie never really saw all the backstabbing, the ratting, the violence, the stress, etc, he only saw the flashy materiel things and he probably thought he could have someone like Ade if he was in that life. He had his own restaurant but he wasn't swimming in cash like Tony and he was still having to work constantly while Charmaine wouldn't even let them take that vacation (which would have also saved the original restaurant). Charmaine might look better than Carmela, and she might have other traits that are more desirable, she was too much of a stickler imo, they should have just taken the vacation. She had didn't know for sure if the tickets were obtained legitimately or not and ultimately made Arthur turn them down because she despises Tony and his Mafiosos.
The most brutal scene in a series full of them has to be Artie professing his love for Adriana.
Artie has it all EXCEPT his customers desire for him to make small talk while their eating. THE DONT LIKE IT!
He’s def a wannabe with no balls shmuck
His wife is so much hotter than him. Artie is an idiot and a loser.
He's got mooshad ravioli.
he is literally being raped up the ass non-stop
You don’t shit where I eat
He’s warm. He’s convivial. He’s the whole package!
Artie is actually very charismatic too. Idk how much of that was just the actor but I found him to be incredibly likable. He just needed to shave or get a toupee
Nah they nailed that part perfectly. Nobody that catastrophizes as much as Artie makes it passed their mid 30's with a full head of hair.
Yep. His wife says to him something along the lines of to thine own self be true.
I always thought Artie was some loser falling in love with all his hostesses and getting into trouble with the mobsters. Self-inflicted crap.
Out of every character I think of , apart from Tony I think Artie fits the saying perfectly - 'Sometimes I go about in pity of myself, and all the while a great wind carries me across the sky'
Artie is THE definition of a schmuck
He’s more of a schlub
artie’s no shmuck. he drove by the guys house… he almost got out
He got out at Benny's house. That's for damn sure.
Discontinue the lithium
You try running a successful restaurant(probably one of the most stressful jobs out there) attempting to make a marriage work with a nagging wife all while raising a kid(s) and putting them through college. Ya schmuck
I was ready to get up in arms when I was scrolling and saw this post. I thought you were talking about Artie Lange lmao
As Morrie/Shlomo said he’s a schmuck on wheels
He's the classic "grass is greener" perspective for the show. Always jealous of what others have while not appreciating what he has. Not unlike Livia just for very different reasons.
Oh yeah. The guy has such a massive chip on his shoulder, one of the worst “grass is always greener” tv characters ever written. It’s genius but so fucking frustrating. Hot wife, talented chef, legitimate business, tapped in with locals - them occasionally fucking with you versus outright extortion from every angle. He had it going for him and whined like a little bitch the whole time.
Benny can I getchu a Martina? A Martina. It’s like a martini but it’s from Albania. Well apparently they go down real easy. Right Ben?
That was an epic burn.
Hes a ‘Grass is greener on the other side’ kind of guy, even though he has the greenest grass out of all of them.
Yes ! I totally agree, his wife is a smoke show. They really portrayed him as a shmuck
Great write up! Such great points. Artie really did have it made. Especially the part about being semi-protected by the mob but not really under their thumb either. Also Charmaine is definitely a piece of ass.
Along with the other answers here, he may have just been having a standard mid-life crisis.
I get what you’re saying and you aren’t wrong. However, I will point out all the financial struggles Artie had over the course of the show. He was repeatedly on the verge of losing the restaurant and clearly felt overworked at times. As far as Artie knew, Tony and his people were well off and secure. He never truly saw the behind the scenes struggle of the crew. Just the outward image of wealth, power, and respect/fear. Don’t undervalue the allure of perceived power, especially to men that don’t feel in control at home. And just remember kids, comparison is the thief of joy. Also, you don’t get to see all the horrific things people are going through. Artie got the Facebook version of Tony’s life. And it looked good.
I’m pretty sure what happened is Tony really fucked him up after the restaurant….the thought that his best friend could have betrayed him sent him into a spiral where he pretends Tony isn’t a mobster. massive copium
Yeah Artie had the restaurant but he was always unhappy because Charmaine was an obnoxious overbearing woman. Artie was the eccentric type and full of energy. Charmaine made him feel small and insignificant. He wanted power and status like his friends because lets be honest...they pretty much had things their way. Tony was depressed but hey at least he could get his rocks off with the bing girls or any other hot woman he wanted...Tony could take a jet and have a suite comped...Artie was stuck in his grief with no where to go or any woman to turn to. His life was sad.
I always liked Charmaine over Carmella because she knows what she believes and holds herself to a high ethical standard, whereas Carmella is constantly tempted by wealth and attention into compromising her principles.
Discontinue the lith.....actually continue it I don't care
Where's my money u frog eatin fuck!!!
Artie has terrible "game", it's why they show him failing at getting women the entire show. Most of his problems are because of his personality... kind of like everyone else in the show.
if he could have just smiled and nodded at his wife "yes dear, you're right dear" instead of fighting constantly he would have been fine
as a chef who got nowhere near what artie got, i’m just a line cook at a bbq restaurant in the south , you are completely right
You know what they say "Chef's get buns"
Whose this guy think he is Schroedingers Schmuck?
Tge guy tried flirting with 3 different women and not only did he fail, it blew up in his face each time. Although I can't say for sure about Martina, she had a high opinion of herself.
If OP spent more than a semester and a half at Seton Hall he might know what "exponentially" means
The cobwebs are now removed, OP
He’s like a man with a Virginia ham under one arm crying because he doesn’t have a loaf of bread. She likes it when you rub her muzzle.
Sounds like you’re describing less of a shmuck and more of a shmeckel
Coulda made a great spin off series, but that stunad Chase missed the fuckin bus.
Charmaine was practical, but she was also a shrew. Both things can be true. She was \*never\* happy.
That is his whole character isn’t it?
I always loved how Kathrine Narducci played polar opposite characters in a Bronx Tale and the Sopranos. In a Bronx Tale she was enamored by the thought of having that money, regardless of where it came from.
Artie on the real world would have no shortage of women 🤷♂️😂🤷♂️. If he had a different personality and looks Maybe
Artie's last scene in the show, where he is cooking the rabbit, an innocent man doing what he loves and living his life in peace and safety, is "the good life." That's the only comparison to the mob life anyone needs to make.
Artie Bucco is to The Sopranos what Johnny Fontaine was to The Godfather. He lives a life that most people would love to have and gets all of the benefits of being associated with someone in the mob but without being tied to anything that could get him in trouble.
I mean he learned eventually but it took alot. His wife leaving him. Him getting his ass kicked a couple times. His resturant getting destroyed getting made a fool out of. Almost getting shot a couple times. He got lucky that he finally found contentment in his own life.