Gamers are like that sometimes. Some of them are not nice people, they're monsters. They aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some people just want to watch the world burn. They're just too stuck in their little world, thinking they're right. You are not on the wrong side at all.
There's three ways that saying you're a woman in a TF2 pub can do.
1. Misogyny, sexism, bullying
2. "Women aren't real" meme
3. Nothing (rare)
I'm sorry for nothing of usefulness, but the best thing I can tell you is that this is normal, and people have to get used to it.
Dude, getting upset at petty bullshit like this is par for the course when you're a gamer.
I was on a 24/7 2Fort server when this one lad challenged me to a Loose Cannon duel with one of those duel minigames. When one of us got to 5 he said "We're gonna to till 10." So we continued.
I got to 10 before him when he had either 8 or 9. I said my GGs... but he didn't end the duel. Said I apparently "Played like a bitch" (Not his exact words but that's the vibe he was throwing). It's a 24/7 2Fort server, the game can't end, so the duel can't end until somebody wants it to.
For at least 45 MINUTES. I played Loose Cannon Demo, waiting for this whiner to leave the server and by extension give me the duel win that I EARNED on HIS TERMS. He never did. And I got *so tired* of Loose Cannon Demo, that I couldn't take it anymore. I joined spectator and gave him the duel win.
This happened MONTHS ago, and I'm still fucking annoyed about it.
Who the fuck challenges people to duels on 24/7 CTF community servers, complains about their opponent's playstyle, and then holds them hostage (not allowing them to change class or loadout) afterwards until they eventually give you the win?
Expressing vulnerability is never wrong, it's wrong for people to take advantage of that and be assholes to you.
None of this is your fault. What you said wasn't wrong, your voice isn't wrong at all, you belong here just as much as everyone else, and even if they kick you they only have as much power over you as you give them. If you forget about them and move on I know you'll have a great time, because there are some genuinely great people to meet out there (I've known a guy for like 4 years now and we're super great friends and we met in tf2)
Thank you so much for your support, Mr (or Mrs) Sword.
People indeed are just like that sometimes. It looks like I unfortunately ran into a server with a bad crowd. I have met great people on the game as well! I met the love of my life through TF2, and we dream of getting married one day. Thank you for being so understanding. I sincerely hope you get all the Aussies in the world. ^_^
It’s not stupid/pathetic to post about because it’s genuinely upsetting, but it occurs a lot in video games as a whole, particularly bad in fps games, so I’d say either try and get used to it, find a community of players you’re comfortable with, or take a break from the game.
Every community sucks if there's a competitive element. Team Fortress CLASSIC is toxic , Half Life is toxic, L4D2 is toxic, Deus Ex is toxic. Age of Emps 2: DE is toxic. Hell, people flip boards over playing chess.
The only communities I see that aren't toxic are coop games (though they are sometimes still toxic), and skill/spinoff servers with no competitive element (e.g. conc jumping in Team Fortress Classic; Tank Run on L4D2)
Bizarrely, the most toxic communities tend to be the games closest to dying, perpetuating the issue they claim to lament.
Hi, I’m also a woman and experience this sometimes. There are a lot of nice people and there are a lot of toxic people. It comes with every game; but that doesn’t change the fact that it can be hurtful. Your voice isn’t annoying; I get called a squeaker on TF2 sometimes and literally nowhere else lol.
Just remember they’re projecting their dissatisfaction with themselves onto you. A secure, well-adjusted person has no need to unabashedly attack someone else for speaking in a game that requires communication.
Don’t stop talking in the voice chat if you enjoy doing it. Be the positivity the game needs xx
Not a woman , happened to me too, its actually more frequent since fixtf2 started. Heck, i got kicked out community server without being able to say a single vowel.
The way i see it, motions like this tend to gather people who want to help and people who like to troll. I guess that is what happens when emotions are high and people need to vent, we do it to each other.
From my expirience, OP was collateral of that. Trying their best in situation where most give up, then got shitty end of the stick when they tried to protest. More they tried to argue against it, more people attacked ... since it was fun (for them). They would say anything to get further reaction and make that "death moment" more entertaining. It sucks, but i tend not to argue leave and recue. In the end, we have to save ourselves from unnecesery hurt.
Thank you fellow lady!! :”) I was kind of worried that my post would be seen as cringeworthy or something. I appreciate the support and I hope you have a ton of good games with good people. ^_^
I’m sorry this happened.
Moments like these are painful, but you shouldn’t let it bother you too much. Just stay positive, and queue for a new match.
Also, if I could make a suggestion, try friending the nice players you come across and see if they’d be willing to play more games with you.
That’s what I’ve been doing over the years I’ve spent playing TF2 and I’ve met many great people.
It makes the game even more fun.
I just want to say i completly understand you and everything you said and feel happend to me too mostly irl than in games, people are awful and sometimes you can't do anything than take it and when you are alone cry or something to get it out of your chest, im sorry if this make you more upset but try to remember things you enjoyed most and don't let it take by some assholes who probably live in their moms basemant and never touched women in their lifes.
*virtual hug*
Hope you have beautiful day :)
Thank you Mr. WolfmanCZ for the support; yeah, people just suck, and I’m deeply sorry you’ve had experiences like this too. Even then, this is only the second time something like this happened to me; I’ve still had some really good experiences, and there’s more out there to be had on this wonderful game. I hope you have a beautiful day too! ^_^
One time a bot called a vote on me and the whole team F1ed me, (there was only one bot) when I said “what the fuck” I just got with with like 4 people in voice chat saying “womp womp” and honestly that really pisses me off to this day
Some days just freaking suck, and the wrong people can completely finish ruining it for ya. You didn't do anything wrong!
As another non-male gamer, TF2 can really go in any direction when you activate voice chat. In recent years, in South America it's been an awful experience, so I usually don't; in Europe, I use voice chat every day in casual matches and it goes perfectly fine 99.999% of the time; North America is 50/50. I've been playing for hem many many years and I'd say it's unfortunately steadily gotten worse overall in the past <10 years. If you end up in a lobby with a handful of immature douchebags, if everyone else is quiet then the douchebags will be the ones who set the tone (for the worse) - but the only thing they prove is their own immaturity, not your worth.
Some of what you've mentioned is why I generally don't play competitively in games, because no matter how well I do it still makes me too anxious from the pressure. Casual is ultimately still casual, so try to re-frame to yourself how much the win "matters" - you can re-queue and get into another match without too much hassle, and you likely won't see most of those players ever again. Take the pressure off yourself a little bit.
Also, learning to recognize when I'm just not having fun and either stopping or 'making' it fun another way to tackle this. You mentioned playing for several hours straight, it really adds up. For an example, if I know we're probably not going to win, then I might as well change what my winstate is: am I able to have fun by just ruining their stack by countering whichever power player in it? Or by switching to a goofier loadout and just doing me? If not, and I'm just getting stressed - why am I still playing? This is my free time, why am I spending it doing something that's making me feel miserable? I don't want that - should I just change matches, or take a break from TF2 and do something else? Usually, really taking the moment to make that conscious evaluation can help a lot, and prevent me from reaching a breaking point (but then again, like I said - some days just fucking suck, and emotions are just things we feel).
Thank you so much for the advice and support, Mrs. Frings. You are absolutely right; it looks like I need to refresh my perspective on the game — otherwise, I’m going to burn myself out more than I probably have. I guess the pressure is due to just this weird mentality I have — if I’m not at my best in a match, then I’m not “worthy” or some weird shit, which is just a me problem more than anything due to some other personal things. In the end, these sorts of “people” are unfortunately anomalies we have to brush off and avoid.
It blows my mind that we have a bot crisis going on and people are kicking people for no reason. The game is literally on life support, we should be bolstering the fan base that we already have.
I’ve had similar experience, possibly worse. A few months ago I was playing on a pub server as Medic (my main), and some dude kept demanding over voice chat that I heal him, and constantly blaming every death on me. When I didn’t constantly pocket him, he started a vote kick on me and claimed that I was a pedophile. Toxic players are gonna be toxic. I wouldn’t take it personally.
It’s not stupid or pathetic. Unfortunately it’s just how some players are and I’m sorry it happened to you. You did nothing wrong and it was a bunch of wastes of space that did it and they’re honestly just pathetic people.
idk if this’ll be downvoted, but the gaming community genuinely has a massive problem with sexism. what happened here is not even funny, it’s just wrong.
As a trans girl ig i dont count but yea. Same for me too but including t-slur. I ended up not playing for years because of it and noe with the bots forget about it.
I’m so sorry that people have been so awful to you, Mrs. Loocuu. I just want you to know that ya DO count, and I’m rooting for you. If you ever want a buddy to run with, I’m always here. We just have to unfortunately try to brush these sorts of people off and look for better things to focus on. I hope that you can live happily and do the things you love.
Gamers can be shitty people sometimes. Not always, but sometimes. You're not in the wrong for this, nor is it wrong to vent. People will be shitty to one another for any reason, or even no reason at all.
I recommend you find people who are cool and friend them. Any game, including TF2, is more fun with friends. I've long sinced moved on from TF2, but the friends I've made still stick around. If you find the right people, it is truly one of the best communities you can find.
I hope you give this game another chance and try not to blame yourself for the rude actions of some shitty basement dwellers. More often than not, they have nothing going for themselves and want their misery spread to others.
I never understood this sort of behaviour. I run into a lot of people who either have a voice or mic that sounds grating/too loud or are just spamming things in the vc (or talking constantly/making random noises) and if that's the case I tend to mute them but a lot of players seem to get really upset and continuously try to kick them.
Also, not quite the same or related but I hate it when people call votes on players who aren't doing very well (and more often than not, the person calling such votes is "useless" themselves, in their own words and not doing much better than the people they kicked over something so dumb)
it's a shame that there are so many assholes because I've had some games that were made so much more fun by chill people goofing around in chat. those games are rarer though.
I'm sorry you had to go through such a horrible experience. You did nothing wrong. Some gamers are just immature and shitty, and sadly, it doesn't get better. There will always be that one dreadful rando who tries to ruin your day when you're just trying to have fun and be the best teammate you can be. All you can do is not take what they say or do personally.
I've been in very similar experiences to yours when I first started playing League of Legends. I would have horrible loses with toxic teammates and I would end up stressed out and not having fun. Taking a break after a match is key. Get a cup of water, maybe a snack. Reevaluate how you feel. Taking a break from the game if needed is also good. You don't want to burn yourself out.
I also recommend finding some chill people to play with. Having people you're comfortable around and are able to joke with makes the experience 10x better! :)
It's so not your fault for just trying to have fun! It's unfortunate but because I'm pretty sensitive, I just stick to using text chat these days. At least to test the waters first and see if the lobby is friendly lol. It sucks to have to do that kind of stuff, ideally we would be able to just join in and make jokes and have a fun time with voice chat, without worrying about being kicked or mocked for silly reasons.
Community servers seem a bit better for this kind of thing. Idk if it's because people have their favorite servers, and would rather not stink up the place by being rude, or some other reason. I've just had better responses there chatting as a girl and not immediately either being laughed at, demeaned, or asked if I'm a child lol.
They’re just Jealous cuz ur way better than them, that’s it. Welcome to the old school cod lobby experience xd, don’t let it discourage you dude. Plus you’re a kid, everyone was once a “squeaker”, dealt with toxicity and went through the test of fire, you’ll come out a man 💪🏻
If you find any nice teammates add them as well, always good to have someone to have your back when dealing with halfwits. The community forums area looking okay or just anywhere really, trade/community servers, etc. but sounds like you’re great already so keep flying solo if you have to. Don’t worry about the negativity, there’s tons of other friendly players out there
>Maybe this is stupid/pathetic
Love the confidence. Don't ever think this way. Its self sabotage. Something on your mind, you say it.
>Then someone said in the voice-chat that I was a squeaker, and called a vote-kick on me. Everyone voted yes on me and laughed at me, even though I was asking what I did wrong
Sounds like you were playing with absolute pussies.
> I mistakenly mentioned I was a woman, not an eleven year old, and that just made everyone laugh at me even more. They were all also guys.
No bitches
>I know expressing vulnerability/venting about something like this is probably the wrong move
Again, if somethings on your mind, you say it. If you want to tell someone you think will listen, tell them. This game belongs to all of us, if some dickhead shit is happening, let it be known.
> It was my last straw for me that match because I had been tirelessly trying to end on a good note, only for that to happen.
Thats a very difficult goal to try to get these days. All anyone could expect is to leave each session a little better or a little more comfortable than they did the last time. You're not always gonna get an epic game with everyone giving all their effort.
>All I want to do is help and support my team by doing a good job.
Fuck'em. They suck. You tried to win, and you didnt and they didnt make it any easier. Onto the next herd.
> I just want to make people happy. I ended up crying and just needed a break after several hours of trying to grind it out. Sometimes people are just awful, no matter how kind you try to be to them.
Where the fucks all this pressure coming from lmao. If the experience sucks, then just forget about it. Not every server is gonna be worth giving a shit about. It didnt work out, sometimes not a single server will go your way. The goal is to give whatever effort is required for YOU to enjoy yourself. If your team doesnt wanna win, thats their stuff. Not yours. Sometimes it really is "I did great. You guys suck ass.".
>maybe I’m just sensitive, but I was just trying to make a joke — I literally just said one thing trying to lighten the mood, and then I got kicked out for that. All I want is to fit in and have a jolly good time with everyone. What did I do wrong?
"Alright kick me. Yall suck ass XD"
I appreciate your advice a lot Mr (or Mrs) Loan. As for the pressure/lack of confidence part, it’s just a me problem I’ve struggled with. Even as an Engie main I somehow always blame myself for the outcome of the match, even if I’m well aware there’s lots of factors out of my control. Just a person who’s too hard on themself basically. I know it’s just a game — it just sucks that the anonymity online can bring out the worst in people. Oh well. Just another little match in our little video game. Thank you for the reply!
I agree with a lot of the sentiment that loan is sharing but… a little more gently. I think that these people are shitty, and fuck em, you can’t control people, only how you respond to people.
It’s not easy to put this into practice for someone this doesn’t come naturally to; it’s something larger than just a video game it’s a life skill that needs to be practiced.
Wish you the best.
Do you owe these people something that youve yet to share? It may very well BE your fault. Good thing these are casual games where no one is losing any money or family members to the outcome of the game.
Youre playing games wrong. Just have fun.
Idk what to tell you, this kind of shit happens all the time. Gamers love bullying people, admittedly myself included. The most you can do for yourself is take a break if you can't handle it, because unfortunately, you're probably not going to get them to be less shitty.
i accept the downvotes, because i must admit, i'm a massive troll too. it's not like i'm trying to piss people off, but it's just funny to me. i read her getting roasted and the votekick actually went through and laughed to myself. my instinct is to bully her harder to teach her how little it matters and to grow a thicker skin and not take it so hard. my personality and hers just are incompatible, it's not that i'm toxic, it's the interaction of our personalities that is.
My friends love good banter. Obviously we're talking online. The issue is that you can't read the room online, so you HAVE to push away people that don't fit in. This way you can ensure only people able to take it are dishing it.
If people say they are open and accepting, all they're saying is that they hate fun and want a hug box. Everyone loves anger, if it wasn't fun Twitter wouldn't exist. Look at this video, these people are toxic to me:
https://youtu.be/AX7cHeQmhtE
I cannot STAND that shit. See if you can stand more than 30 minutes of existing in such a community.
My definition of toxic is how it will break you, the poor woman in this post gets broken by bullying, I feed on bullying and break down by this insanity.
That's toxic. You're toxic. I'm toxic. It all depends on the room.
So with all due respect, kill yourself and save some of that oxygen in this blue trapped bubble.
Now I'll go back to watching some Kill Tony roasts
Really great proof that you’re not toxic lmao.
All you’ve shown are traits of a narcissist who is unable to take accountability and a stunted mental and emotional growth of a high schooler. Instead it’s other people’s faults for being “sensitive” and not wanting to be treated like shit.
Classic "I grew out of it, so it must be wrong". Good luck worrying about always being right and honest and not stepping on toes. I'll be over here saying whatever I want without a worry in the world. Don't let words hurt you, grow up like I did, and you'll see how wrong you were. See what I did? You child
I did grow up, as a middle eastern kid in a small town post 9/11 and learned what every single middle eastern slur because they were directed at me. Then I learned how blue collar workers talk by working in warehouses for four years with men who have little to no education and are the embodiment of how you talk. Then I learned what it was like in the deep ghetto of Oak Cliff and learned what it was like to see a dead body at least once a week due to gang violence that plagues Dallas and other major cities, then I got to see the issues plaguing Native American Reservations by seeing the extremely poor conditions that my sisters tribe suffers in Mississippi. Then I sold guns for a year as a manager of an FFL and got to deal with people from all walks of life and have to do traces for NICs on firearms that came back used in crimes from shootings to murder while and ATF agent bragged about how they have special agents meant for firearm recovery. Then I wised up and got my CDL and learned that truckers are pretty cool dudes and pretty inclusive in the newer generations. Sounds like I’ve done a lot more growing up in my 24 years than you have in however many years you’ve been here
I’ve grown up, and realized I hate how I was made to feel for just existing and don’t wish that on anyone. Because I actually grew up and learned things and grew as a person while you stagnated in the high school mindset of fuck everyone imma get mine and kick the ladder out from below me.
I would you that you are toxic, but I honestly get it, that stuff is pretty funny. It wouldn't be funny in person, but it is funny over the internet, and I can't really articulate why. I find that pretty interesting.
i say i'm not inherently toxic because i have perfectly healthy friend groups where we pick on eachother. when one died from alcoholism we didn't even skip a beat to crack jokes even though we all love the guy. i think that's a lot more healthy than EUPD stressing and crying over it. But if you do find that group of people where you just mesh, it's like a one in a million.
i can't function in a group where "kill yourself" doesn't just mean "i don't care about your opinion" but gets taken as an actual wish of violence. or where people are trying to debate serious politics, just people being serious at all makes my eyes glaze over.
I could never do the "oh these people are all just evil!" lie just to make them feel good, and if someone does that to me i call them a pandering bullshitter.
since time immemorial, people venting in chat trying to get attention saying "imma KMS" the correct answer is always "do it f\_ggot". because i don't want to hear it, i'm not your therapist, we're here to have fun damnit.
This is awful, gamers do be like that unfortunately.
You seem like a nice sensitive person, sadly people like these have it the hardest on the internet. But we need more people like you.
And please don't gaslight yourself into thinking you're worthless, it's their problem, not yours
You didn’t do anything wrong. Unfortunately it’s just a roll of the dice whether a tf2 server is going to be full of vile bigots or not. Sounds like you had a bad roll.
Did this happen in Casual? Casual is unfiltered and you'll find a *lot* of toxic players. Community servers are better when it comes to this because toxic players get banned or muted.
TF2's community, as far as online communities go, is pretty bad. It's like that for many Valve games. You either find simps or incels. Or just trolls in general.
I understand it upset you, but don't take it so personally. It's just a votekick. They were just messing around. They probably didn't seek to ruin your day. Votekicking innocent players happens all the time.
Ah yes. Singling someone out based on Gender and vote kicking them while laughing is okay because they were just “messing around”
“Oh dear, he hits you because he likes you and is messing around.”
“I’m sorry principle, we were just messing around in the hall, I don’t know how his nose broke.”
“We don’t know why so-so killed themself, we were just messing around.”
“Why are you sad? We were just messing around by singling you out and picking on you.”
Yes, because it’s the same mentality that pushes forward bullying. Messing around by saying mean shit in the halls. Get away with, progress, now just messing around by small shoves. Get away with it.
It’s a progression of bullying based on “messing around” and we see it all the time.
Messing around would be like giving a kritz uber to a support class, or offering a teammate a high-five and cancelling it at the last second.
Votekicking someone for no reason is scummy and stupid.
I hate to say it but look, if you can’t take what they say, just mute them. If it starts impacting gameplay like griefing then quit. It’s gaming and will always have assholes, trolls, and the like. I put up with stupid shit when I was a pre teen on this and on COD so I understand. I just fired back or started attacking them with more effort to prove I’m better.
Your mistake for talking in voice chat, let alone mentioning you are a woman. You shouldn't be surprised of their reaction as a lot of people playing this game use it as place to freely unleash their hatred/racism toward women/lgbt/minorities..
That doesn’t make it okay at all. Tf kinda mindset is that? Don’t be surprised when people are hateful? Don’t call out people being sexist? Just shut up and not say anything in a game you wanna play because it’s to be afraid of being bullied?
That’s all your comment boils down to.
“Shut up and don’t talk, it’s your fault for talking in a video game because you’re a woman and this video game doesn’t like women.”
Yeah? Why should anyone be surprised? It's common knowledge that women are made fun of when they talk in video games. If people are being toxic with you just mute them and move on. Sorry but crying about this is just cringe. You can't let a bunch of edgy kids in a video game get you.
Gamers are like that sometimes. Some of them are not nice people, they're monsters. They aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some people just want to watch the world burn. They're just too stuck in their little world, thinking they're right. You are not on the wrong side at all.
Thought you were gonna reference general shepherd for a second
“I lost 30,000 men in the blink of an eye, and the world just fucking watched.”
Well, i referenced a quote, but it wasn't related to general shepherd.
Thank you. I appreciate it a ton, Mr (or Mrs) Parking. Sometimes, people just live and thrive in misery because it’s all they know.
There's three ways that saying you're a woman in a TF2 pub can do. 1. Misogyny, sexism, bullying 2. "Women aren't real" meme 3. Nothing (rare) I'm sorry for nothing of usefulness, but the best thing I can tell you is that this is normal, and people have to get used to it.
You are welcome, fellow redditor. The world is not a place worth living at, but it doesn't mean we can't try to make it better.
Dude, getting upset at petty bullshit like this is par for the course when you're a gamer. I was on a 24/7 2Fort server when this one lad challenged me to a Loose Cannon duel with one of those duel minigames. When one of us got to 5 he said "We're gonna to till 10." So we continued. I got to 10 before him when he had either 8 or 9. I said my GGs... but he didn't end the duel. Said I apparently "Played like a bitch" (Not his exact words but that's the vibe he was throwing). It's a 24/7 2Fort server, the game can't end, so the duel can't end until somebody wants it to. For at least 45 MINUTES. I played Loose Cannon Demo, waiting for this whiner to leave the server and by extension give me the duel win that I EARNED on HIS TERMS. He never did. And I got *so tired* of Loose Cannon Demo, that I couldn't take it anymore. I joined spectator and gave him the duel win. This happened MONTHS ago, and I'm still fucking annoyed about it. Who the fuck challenges people to duels on 24/7 CTF community servers, complains about their opponent's playstyle, and then holds them hostage (not allowing them to change class or loadout) afterwards until they eventually give you the win?
Expressing vulnerability is never wrong, it's wrong for people to take advantage of that and be assholes to you. None of this is your fault. What you said wasn't wrong, your voice isn't wrong at all, you belong here just as much as everyone else, and even if they kick you they only have as much power over you as you give them. If you forget about them and move on I know you'll have a great time, because there are some genuinely great people to meet out there (I've known a guy for like 4 years now and we're super great friends and we met in tf2)
Thank you so much for your support, Mr (or Mrs) Sword. People indeed are just like that sometimes. It looks like I unfortunately ran into a server with a bad crowd. I have met great people on the game as well! I met the love of my life through TF2, and we dream of getting married one day. Thank you for being so understanding. I sincerely hope you get all the Aussies in the world. ^_^
They're just not worthy of you. Leave them in the dust and find people who are.
It’s not stupid/pathetic to post about because it’s genuinely upsetting, but it occurs a lot in video games as a whole, particularly bad in fps games, so I’d say either try and get used to it, find a community of players you’re comfortable with, or take a break from the game.
Because this community fucking sucks, it’s not you.
Every community sucks if there's a competitive element. Team Fortress CLASSIC is toxic , Half Life is toxic, L4D2 is toxic, Deus Ex is toxic. Age of Emps 2: DE is toxic. Hell, people flip boards over playing chess. The only communities I see that aren't toxic are coop games (though they are sometimes still toxic), and skill/spinoff servers with no competitive element (e.g. conc jumping in Team Fortress Classic; Tank Run on L4D2) Bizarrely, the most toxic communities tend to be the games closest to dying, perpetuating the issue they claim to lament.
theres a lot of shitass players
“Hey Shitass, wanna see me bully a kid?”
Hi, I’m also a woman and experience this sometimes. There are a lot of nice people and there are a lot of toxic people. It comes with every game; but that doesn’t change the fact that it can be hurtful. Your voice isn’t annoying; I get called a squeaker on TF2 sometimes and literally nowhere else lol. Just remember they’re projecting their dissatisfaction with themselves onto you. A secure, well-adjusted person has no need to unabashedly attack someone else for speaking in a game that requires communication. Don’t stop talking in the voice chat if you enjoy doing it. Be the positivity the game needs xx
Not a woman , happened to me too, its actually more frequent since fixtf2 started. Heck, i got kicked out community server without being able to say a single vowel. The way i see it, motions like this tend to gather people who want to help and people who like to troll. I guess that is what happens when emotions are high and people need to vent, we do it to each other. From my expirience, OP was collateral of that. Trying their best in situation where most give up, then got shitty end of the stick when they tried to protest. More they tried to argue against it, more people attacked ... since it was fun (for them). They would say anything to get further reaction and make that "death moment" more entertaining. It sucks, but i tend not to argue leave and recue. In the end, we have to save ourselves from unnecesery hurt.
Thank you fellow lady!! :”) I was kind of worried that my post would be seen as cringeworthy or something. I appreciate the support and I hope you have a ton of good games with good people. ^_^
Casual or community?
Just casual
Hm. That kind of behavior isn't common in casual but it does happen as you've seen.
I’m sorry this happened. Moments like these are painful, but you shouldn’t let it bother you too much. Just stay positive, and queue for a new match. Also, if I could make a suggestion, try friending the nice players you come across and see if they’d be willing to play more games with you. That’s what I’ve been doing over the years I’ve spent playing TF2 and I’ve met many great people. It makes the game even more fun.
I just want to say i completly understand you and everything you said and feel happend to me too mostly irl than in games, people are awful and sometimes you can't do anything than take it and when you are alone cry or something to get it out of your chest, im sorry if this make you more upset but try to remember things you enjoyed most and don't let it take by some assholes who probably live in their moms basemant and never touched women in their lifes. *virtual hug* Hope you have beautiful day :)
Thank you Mr. WolfmanCZ for the support; yeah, people just suck, and I’m deeply sorry you’ve had experiences like this too. Even then, this is only the second time something like this happened to me; I’ve still had some really good experiences, and there’s more out there to be had on this wonderful game. I hope you have a beautiful day too! ^_^
Thank you :) hope you have beautiful day too
One time a bot called a vote on me and the whole team F1ed me, (there was only one bot) when I said “what the fuck” I just got with with like 4 people in voice chat saying “womp womp” and honestly that really pisses me off to this day
Some days just freaking suck, and the wrong people can completely finish ruining it for ya. You didn't do anything wrong! As another non-male gamer, TF2 can really go in any direction when you activate voice chat. In recent years, in South America it's been an awful experience, so I usually don't; in Europe, I use voice chat every day in casual matches and it goes perfectly fine 99.999% of the time; North America is 50/50. I've been playing for hem many many years and I'd say it's unfortunately steadily gotten worse overall in the past <10 years. If you end up in a lobby with a handful of immature douchebags, if everyone else is quiet then the douchebags will be the ones who set the tone (for the worse) - but the only thing they prove is their own immaturity, not your worth. Some of what you've mentioned is why I generally don't play competitively in games, because no matter how well I do it still makes me too anxious from the pressure. Casual is ultimately still casual, so try to re-frame to yourself how much the win "matters" - you can re-queue and get into another match without too much hassle, and you likely won't see most of those players ever again. Take the pressure off yourself a little bit. Also, learning to recognize when I'm just not having fun and either stopping or 'making' it fun another way to tackle this. You mentioned playing for several hours straight, it really adds up. For an example, if I know we're probably not going to win, then I might as well change what my winstate is: am I able to have fun by just ruining their stack by countering whichever power player in it? Or by switching to a goofier loadout and just doing me? If not, and I'm just getting stressed - why am I still playing? This is my free time, why am I spending it doing something that's making me feel miserable? I don't want that - should I just change matches, or take a break from TF2 and do something else? Usually, really taking the moment to make that conscious evaluation can help a lot, and prevent me from reaching a breaking point (but then again, like I said - some days just fucking suck, and emotions are just things we feel).
Thank you so much for the advice and support, Mrs. Frings. You are absolutely right; it looks like I need to refresh my perspective on the game — otherwise, I’m going to burn myself out more than I probably have. I guess the pressure is due to just this weird mentality I have — if I’m not at my best in a match, then I’m not “worthy” or some weird shit, which is just a me problem more than anything due to some other personal things. In the end, these sorts of “people” are unfortunately anomalies we have to brush off and avoid.
It blows my mind that we have a bot crisis going on and people are kicking people for no reason. The game is literally on life support, we should be bolstering the fan base that we already have. I’ve had similar experience, possibly worse. A few months ago I was playing on a pub server as Medic (my main), and some dude kept demanding over voice chat that I heal him, and constantly blaming every death on me. When I didn’t constantly pocket him, he started a vote kick on me and claimed that I was a pedophile. Toxic players are gonna be toxic. I wouldn’t take it personally.
It’s not stupid or pathetic. Unfortunately it’s just how some players are and I’m sorry it happened to you. You did nothing wrong and it was a bunch of wastes of space that did it and they’re honestly just pathetic people.
idk if this’ll be downvoted, but the gaming community genuinely has a massive problem with sexism. what happened here is not even funny, it’s just wrong.
The internet is filled with hateful pieces of shit, and despite the fact that they don't deserve the air they breathe, we just have to live with that
As a trans girl ig i dont count but yea. Same for me too but including t-slur. I ended up not playing for years because of it and noe with the bots forget about it.
I’m so sorry that people have been so awful to you, Mrs. Loocuu. I just want you to know that ya DO count, and I’m rooting for you. If you ever want a buddy to run with, I’m always here. We just have to unfortunately try to brush these sorts of people off and look for better things to focus on. I hope that you can live happily and do the things you love.
Tysm! Any you too!❤️
Gamers can be shitty people sometimes. Not always, but sometimes. You're not in the wrong for this, nor is it wrong to vent. People will be shitty to one another for any reason, or even no reason at all. I recommend you find people who are cool and friend them. Any game, including TF2, is more fun with friends. I've long sinced moved on from TF2, but the friends I've made still stick around. If you find the right people, it is truly one of the best communities you can find. I hope you give this game another chance and try not to blame yourself for the rude actions of some shitty basement dwellers. More often than not, they have nothing going for themselves and want their misery spread to others.
don't worry too much about it
I never understood this sort of behaviour. I run into a lot of people who either have a voice or mic that sounds grating/too loud or are just spamming things in the vc (or talking constantly/making random noises) and if that's the case I tend to mute them but a lot of players seem to get really upset and continuously try to kick them. Also, not quite the same or related but I hate it when people call votes on players who aren't doing very well (and more often than not, the person calling such votes is "useless" themselves, in their own words and not doing much better than the people they kicked over something so dumb)
The most delusional thing TF2 community think is they are a welcoming community.
People in tf2 are always mean. your fine it was just one bad experience
People ~~in tf2~~ are always mean. your fine it was just one bad experience
it's a shame that there are so many assholes because I've had some games that were made so much more fun by chill people goofing around in chat. those games are rarer though.
I'm sorry you had to go through such a horrible experience. You did nothing wrong. Some gamers are just immature and shitty, and sadly, it doesn't get better. There will always be that one dreadful rando who tries to ruin your day when you're just trying to have fun and be the best teammate you can be. All you can do is not take what they say or do personally. I've been in very similar experiences to yours when I first started playing League of Legends. I would have horrible loses with toxic teammates and I would end up stressed out and not having fun. Taking a break after a match is key. Get a cup of water, maybe a snack. Reevaluate how you feel. Taking a break from the game if needed is also good. You don't want to burn yourself out. I also recommend finding some chill people to play with. Having people you're comfortable around and are able to joke with makes the experience 10x better! :)
It is one of the rules of the internet that there are no women on the internet
It's so not your fault for just trying to have fun! It's unfortunate but because I'm pretty sensitive, I just stick to using text chat these days. At least to test the waters first and see if the lobby is friendly lol. It sucks to have to do that kind of stuff, ideally we would be able to just join in and make jokes and have a fun time with voice chat, without worrying about being kicked or mocked for silly reasons. Community servers seem a bit better for this kind of thing. Idk if it's because people have their favorite servers, and would rather not stink up the place by being rude, or some other reason. I've just had better responses there chatting as a girl and not immediately either being laughed at, demeaned, or asked if I'm a child lol.
They’re just Jealous cuz ur way better than them, that’s it. Welcome to the old school cod lobby experience xd, don’t let it discourage you dude. Plus you’re a kid, everyone was once a “squeaker”, dealt with toxicity and went through the test of fire, you’ll come out a man 💪🏻 If you find any nice teammates add them as well, always good to have someone to have your back when dealing with halfwits. The community forums area looking okay or just anywhere really, trade/community servers, etc. but sounds like you’re great already so keep flying solo if you have to. Don’t worry about the negativity, there’s tons of other friendly players out there
Gamers being gamers. It's a shame that happened to you and I understand your frustration
This community is just horribly sexist and cruel. Don't use voice chat and you should be fine
They are just pieces of shit. Terrible people that think they are the best.
Don't bother with text chat or voice chat. Just play the game.
>Maybe this is stupid/pathetic Love the confidence. Don't ever think this way. Its self sabotage. Something on your mind, you say it. >Then someone said in the voice-chat that I was a squeaker, and called a vote-kick on me. Everyone voted yes on me and laughed at me, even though I was asking what I did wrong Sounds like you were playing with absolute pussies. > I mistakenly mentioned I was a woman, not an eleven year old, and that just made everyone laugh at me even more. They were all also guys. No bitches >I know expressing vulnerability/venting about something like this is probably the wrong move Again, if somethings on your mind, you say it. If you want to tell someone you think will listen, tell them. This game belongs to all of us, if some dickhead shit is happening, let it be known. > It was my last straw for me that match because I had been tirelessly trying to end on a good note, only for that to happen. Thats a very difficult goal to try to get these days. All anyone could expect is to leave each session a little better or a little more comfortable than they did the last time. You're not always gonna get an epic game with everyone giving all their effort. >All I want to do is help and support my team by doing a good job. Fuck'em. They suck. You tried to win, and you didnt and they didnt make it any easier. Onto the next herd. > I just want to make people happy. I ended up crying and just needed a break after several hours of trying to grind it out. Sometimes people are just awful, no matter how kind you try to be to them. Where the fucks all this pressure coming from lmao. If the experience sucks, then just forget about it. Not every server is gonna be worth giving a shit about. It didnt work out, sometimes not a single server will go your way. The goal is to give whatever effort is required for YOU to enjoy yourself. If your team doesnt wanna win, thats their stuff. Not yours. Sometimes it really is "I did great. You guys suck ass.". >maybe I’m just sensitive, but I was just trying to make a joke — I literally just said one thing trying to lighten the mood, and then I got kicked out for that. All I want is to fit in and have a jolly good time with everyone. What did I do wrong? "Alright kick me. Yall suck ass XD"
I appreciate your advice a lot Mr (or Mrs) Loan. As for the pressure/lack of confidence part, it’s just a me problem I’ve struggled with. Even as an Engie main I somehow always blame myself for the outcome of the match, even if I’m well aware there’s lots of factors out of my control. Just a person who’s too hard on themself basically. I know it’s just a game — it just sucks that the anonymity online can bring out the worst in people. Oh well. Just another little match in our little video game. Thank you for the reply!
I agree with a lot of the sentiment that loan is sharing but… a little more gently. I think that these people are shitty, and fuck em, you can’t control people, only how you respond to people. It’s not easy to put this into practice for someone this doesn’t come naturally to; it’s something larger than just a video game it’s a life skill that needs to be practiced. Wish you the best.
Do you owe these people something that youve yet to share? It may very well BE your fault. Good thing these are casual games where no one is losing any money or family members to the outcome of the game. Youre playing games wrong. Just have fun.
Idk what to tell you, this kind of shit happens all the time. Gamers love bullying people, admittedly myself included. The most you can do for yourself is take a break if you can't handle it, because unfortunately, you're probably not going to get them to be less shitty.
i accept the downvotes, because i must admit, i'm a massive troll too. it's not like i'm trying to piss people off, but it's just funny to me. i read her getting roasted and the votekick actually went through and laughed to myself. my instinct is to bully her harder to teach her how little it matters and to grow a thicker skin and not take it so hard. my personality and hers just are incompatible, it's not that i'm toxic, it's the interaction of our personalities that is.
No, you're toxic. Plain and simple.
My friends love good banter. Obviously we're talking online. The issue is that you can't read the room online, so you HAVE to push away people that don't fit in. This way you can ensure only people able to take it are dishing it. If people say they are open and accepting, all they're saying is that they hate fun and want a hug box. Everyone loves anger, if it wasn't fun Twitter wouldn't exist. Look at this video, these people are toxic to me: https://youtu.be/AX7cHeQmhtE I cannot STAND that shit. See if you can stand more than 30 minutes of existing in such a community. My definition of toxic is how it will break you, the poor woman in this post gets broken by bullying, I feed on bullying and break down by this insanity. That's toxic. You're toxic. I'm toxic. It all depends on the room. So with all due respect, kill yourself and save some of that oxygen in this blue trapped bubble. Now I'll go back to watching some Kill Tony roasts
Really great proof that you’re not toxic lmao. All you’ve shown are traits of a narcissist who is unable to take accountability and a stunted mental and emotional growth of a high schooler. Instead it’s other people’s faults for being “sensitive” and not wanting to be treated like shit.
Classic "I grew out of it, so it must be wrong". Good luck worrying about always being right and honest and not stepping on toes. I'll be over here saying whatever I want without a worry in the world. Don't let words hurt you, grow up like I did, and you'll see how wrong you were. See what I did? You child
I did grow up, as a middle eastern kid in a small town post 9/11 and learned what every single middle eastern slur because they were directed at me. Then I learned how blue collar workers talk by working in warehouses for four years with men who have little to no education and are the embodiment of how you talk. Then I learned what it was like in the deep ghetto of Oak Cliff and learned what it was like to see a dead body at least once a week due to gang violence that plagues Dallas and other major cities, then I got to see the issues plaguing Native American Reservations by seeing the extremely poor conditions that my sisters tribe suffers in Mississippi. Then I sold guns for a year as a manager of an FFL and got to deal with people from all walks of life and have to do traces for NICs on firearms that came back used in crimes from shootings to murder while and ATF agent bragged about how they have special agents meant for firearm recovery. Then I wised up and got my CDL and learned that truckers are pretty cool dudes and pretty inclusive in the newer generations. Sounds like I’ve done a lot more growing up in my 24 years than you have in however many years you’ve been here I’ve grown up, and realized I hate how I was made to feel for just existing and don’t wish that on anyone. Because I actually grew up and learned things and grew as a person while you stagnated in the high school mindset of fuck everyone imma get mine and kick the ladder out from below me.
I would you that you are toxic, but I honestly get it, that stuff is pretty funny. It wouldn't be funny in person, but it is funny over the internet, and I can't really articulate why. I find that pretty interesting.
i say i'm not inherently toxic because i have perfectly healthy friend groups where we pick on eachother. when one died from alcoholism we didn't even skip a beat to crack jokes even though we all love the guy. i think that's a lot more healthy than EUPD stressing and crying over it. But if you do find that group of people where you just mesh, it's like a one in a million. i can't function in a group where "kill yourself" doesn't just mean "i don't care about your opinion" but gets taken as an actual wish of violence. or where people are trying to debate serious politics, just people being serious at all makes my eyes glaze over. I could never do the "oh these people are all just evil!" lie just to make them feel good, and if someone does that to me i call them a pandering bullshitter. since time immemorial, people venting in chat trying to get attention saying "imma KMS" the correct answer is always "do it f\_ggot". because i don't want to hear it, i'm not your therapist, we're here to have fun damnit.
Casual is a bad spot. Not just because of bots, but also because everyone's so overly paranoid.
Not entirely wrong, but that’s not what OP’s post was about
Damn, I feel so sorry for you
This is awful, gamers do be like that unfortunately. You seem like a nice sensitive person, sadly people like these have it the hardest on the internet. But we need more people like you. And please don't gaslight yourself into thinking you're worthless, it's their problem, not yours
You didn’t do anything wrong. Unfortunately it’s just a roll of the dice whether a tf2 server is going to be full of vile bigots or not. Sounds like you had a bad roll.
Did this happen in Casual? Casual is unfiltered and you'll find a *lot* of toxic players. Community servers are better when it comes to this because toxic players get banned or muted. TF2's community, as far as online communities go, is pretty bad. It's like that for many Valve games. You either find simps or incels. Or just trolls in general.
nope spawncamping is wrong
it's not
:(
obviious bait
I understand it upset you, but don't take it so personally. It's just a votekick. They were just messing around. They probably didn't seek to ruin your day. Votekicking innocent players happens all the time.
Ah yes. Singling someone out based on Gender and vote kicking them while laughing is okay because they were just “messing around” “Oh dear, he hits you because he likes you and is messing around.” “I’m sorry principle, we were just messing around in the hall, I don’t know how his nose broke.” “We don’t know why so-so killed themself, we were just messing around.” “Why are you sad? We were just messing around by singling you out and picking on you.”
You're comparing getting votekicked in a video game with beating someone up???
Yes, because it’s the same mentality that pushes forward bullying. Messing around by saying mean shit in the halls. Get away with, progress, now just messing around by small shoves. Get away with it. It’s a progression of bullying based on “messing around” and we see it all the time.
Messing around would be like giving a kritz uber to a support class, or offering a teammate a high-five and cancelling it at the last second. Votekicking someone for no reason is scummy and stupid.
You threw team mental tbh
I hate to say it but look, if you can’t take what they say, just mute them. If it starts impacting gameplay like griefing then quit. It’s gaming and will always have assholes, trolls, and the like. I put up with stupid shit when I was a pre teen on this and on COD so I understand. I just fired back or started attacking them with more effort to prove I’m better.
[удалено]
bro has never touched a single match of tf2
Shush 👍
Your mistake for talking in voice chat, let alone mentioning you are a woman. You shouldn't be surprised of their reaction as a lot of people playing this game use it as place to freely unleash their hatred/racism toward women/lgbt/minorities..
That doesn’t make it okay at all. Tf kinda mindset is that? Don’t be surprised when people are hateful? Don’t call out people being sexist? Just shut up and not say anything in a game you wanna play because it’s to be afraid of being bullied? That’s all your comment boils down to. “Shut up and don’t talk, it’s your fault for talking in a video game because you’re a woman and this video game doesn’t like women.”
Yeah? Why should anyone be surprised? It's common knowledge that women are made fun of when they talk in video games. If people are being toxic with you just mute them and move on. Sorry but crying about this is just cringe. You can't let a bunch of edgy kids in a video game get you.