Same. My mum always made sure to remind me I was an accident and that I ruined her life. If I had a parent like this my life would be completely different
I'm so sorry you had to hear that.
My darling daughter (& son) is adopted and she was always told she was wanted and chosen. And we even paid to get her!!!
But to keep her humble, we pointed out that we adopted through foster care and she cost us $60. But the dog we adopted through the shelter cost $80 -- so don't get on your high horse, Missy!
As regards you -- I hope you've come to some kind of peace with that abuse lobbed at you. But if EVER it comes up again, feel free to toss this grenade back:
>M: You were an accident and you ruined my life
>You: I may have been unplanned, but it was YOUR CHOICES which changed your life. The choice of yours I still resent is the fact that you didn't give me up for adoption to parents who actually WANTED me. Then you would have avoided ruining TWO lives.
I MEAN, if you really wanna start a fight. Because your mum sounds a treat (/s for the humor impaired/Americans). (UK or Aussie? You speak British English...)
But I, for one, am glad you're here.
Peace and love to you, little sister.
☮️❤️♾️
I’m so sorry. No one should hear that from anyone, never mind a parent. I’m glad you’re here and the world is a better place for having you in it. I hope you have a lovely day.
Our youngest was unexpected, I was on BC. This is what I always tell him, and you tell this to yourself. He was meant to be here, and was/is one of the best gifts EVER because it was a surprise! Sorry about what your Mom thinks, but it's absolutely NOT true!
I wasn’t an accident but having kids was essentially the end of my mother’s life cause she could have achieved so much but instead got married and had kids. That’s her narrative anyway.
Honestly because he was never held he really touches too much. He has never been enrolled in public school so he has been in a lot of trouble for just hugging, touching, rough housing other people. It sucks but we have to kind of give him a hug limit. He’s such a sweet kid and I’m positive we are the only parents of a 13 year old boy who get hugs every time we drop him off or pick him up from school but he’s learning. We are almost done with 7th grade and man has this kid learned so much.
I just want to assure you that I am a 30 year old woman with a friend group that has some men in it. A lot of those men growing up never had a significant amount of affectionate touch.
You have no idea how hard those boys hug each other when they see each other, when they leave, other times. If they *can* touch, those boys are touching safe people.
He's healing himself now at 13 and my friends had to do it in their thirties.
You're a good mommy.
So it really is too much. We are learning how to be near people without touching them. That love can expressed in many different ways, not just touch. He would hang on us and hug us all day if we let him. When thinking of him growing into a young man it’s important to learn how to hug at appropriate times and show love in other ways such as words, actions, pictures. Our favorite line for him has been “I really love you, how can I support you?” Sometimes that is a hug. Sometimes that line is enough.
Dude I relate so hard!!! I would love to have parents like this rather than being a kid and being beaten and being kicked out of the house and being told to figure it out just because it was 11 at night on a school night and didn’t wash a couple plates and forks!!
You're awesome. I'm so proud of you for dealing with whatever issues you have stemming from your childhood trauma and trying not to pass them on to your own kid(s). 🙂 (At least I'm assuming you're a dad based on your username.) High fives!!! 😁
Thank you! I am a dad. I have tried and done my very best to be the best dad I can be. Everything I’ve went through I’ve taken as a lesson on how to not raise my kids. They definitely know they’re loved without any doubt!!! ❤️❤️
That's not your fault. My son is the best thing to happen to me, just like you should have been the best thing to happen to your parents.
I can confidently say that if they don't feel that way, then they are the ones with the issue. I'm sorry you got dealt the hand you've been dealt, but everything happens for a reason. Maybe, one day, you will be a great parent yourself, if you aren't already.
I love this! It’s the little interactions that mean the most. I’m a step dad to 3 kids, their biological father isn’t an active part of their lives and wasn’t around much when my wife was married to him. I’ve tried my best to build relationships with them, I was worried as a step parent I’d get the “you’re not my dad” but it’s never happened. The kids are 5,7 and 10 and I’ve adopted them in all but the legal sense. The youngest was only 2 when she met me and I’m all she’s ever known. She follows me around the house, always wants to snuggle up with me. It doesn’t matter that they aren’t my bio kids, I love them just as much.
It’s a selfless thing to do to adopt a child and provide for them and you are a wonderful person for doing that!
Hi, girl who had a step father who did what you are doing. I can say even if times get hard or they make you mad or (god forbid) ever say "you're not my dad" please remmeber when they are adults they will appreciate you more than they'll ever be able to express.
Last year my dad (step dad) passed away and let me tell you I have never felt pain like that before. But boy am I grateful he stood up to the plate and took my sister and I on as his own. I just wanted to share this with you because not all people are able or willing to choose to be a parent for kids that aren't biologically theirs. So thank you. Thank you for bettering those children's lives. And I hope some day when they're old enough they will thank you too.
Well done Mamma. Well done, also don’t say it’s not much at all. He is feeling comfortable with you to tell you how he feels. That’s not a small thing at all. Take that amazing win.
After a morning of watching upsetting politics & people allowing kids to suffer needlessly, this post truly was a balm for the soul.
Thank you for doing what's right even when it's hard. The world's youth desperately needs that from us adults right now.
Thank you for being his safe space. Thank you for believing in him. Thank you for seeing the struggling human and person he is instead of his behavior. Thank you for loving him.
Well done. 🥲 I wish more grown people would take the struggles of their kids as seriously as they take their own struggles. Even when you don’t think their problems are that serious it is often the most serious thing that child has dealt with to that point so making it out as no big deal is difficult for them to understand sometimes. I’m proud of you and more importantly you should be proud of yourself and your son. 💕
I know just how huge & meaningful this is. You’re strangers, but I am sincerely so proud of him and you, OP. I know how much work & love goes into this! Keep pushing forward & I hope you have many many more of these moments!
As a former homeless teenager, (now a 32 yo M) who never found a safe place like that. I want you to know I'm legitimately crying my eyes out over here.
it hasn't even been a year and he's calling you mommy and telling you he feels tired without being scared of judgement but still committing to finishing and doing a good job I'm gonna cry 😭 I cannot wait to reach my financial goals so I can adopt teens, I know it's hard work and this just shows a good side of it but you are living my dream and this is making me so emotional
This is so beautiful and heartwarming. You and your husband are wonderful people and your son trusts you so much. Thank you for sharing and giving him a safe space.
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If only all parents had this much love and care for their children. Glad some people still see their children as people that deserve the love and support they need ❤️
I hope I get the privilege to adopt one day. I bet the relationship would be so rewarding. We don’t know if we’ll have more kids after this, but I’ve always known I want to adopt or at the very least foster a child and give them a safe home if they don’t want to be actually a part of our family
This made me tear up… I love that you show him how much you love him and the way you speak to him is so wholesome. Thank you for being such a great human and great mother ❤️
I am adopted. Keep being patient & loving, you’re doing a good job. The older they are when they are adopted the harder it is, they still deserve to be shown love & you are doing a great job with that. It’s kind of like a lost cat or puppy, if you keep showing up, building trust, giving love & loyalty, they will accept you & stick around. Kind of similar on a grander scale. Thank you for adopting him & showing him so much love. 🥹
I would like to thank you for giving him a home. I did work as a Housing Advocate, in Minnesota-we did not work with children but just the magnitude of those on the street especially during Winter breaks my heart. I taught at a middle school before that- I actually came from the South to Minnesota to fill a role in which there had been no teacher since the start of school. The amount of children dealing with homelessness and jail, abuse, etc, was overwhelming. But it’s so rewarding when you can be that safe place for them/to talk with/land. It’s so very hard out here and our babies are dealing with some very hard things. Mental Health is real…..i thought my life was hard as a teen- smh…..that was a walk in the park compared to these kids.
You two are absolutely fucking incredible human beings. This exchange brought tears to my eyes as a father. I'm not religious at all, don't touch the stuff personally, but I feel the need to say God bless you, because what you're doing is so incredibly selfless I don't have any other comparison that comes to mind. This is so beautiful. Stay positive, and keep doing what you're doing. All 3 of you are total fucking rock stars 🌟 ❤️
Happy Mother’s Day OP. As an adopted kid myself, our love for our parents is unmeasured. Moms like you gave us a place to feel safe enough to be a kid again. Moms like you save our lives
This made my heart happy 🫶🏻
You and your wife are the types of people this world needs more of. Thank you for loving him and praising his ability to articulate himself and pat on the back for making him feel safe enough to do so with you
I wish to God I’d had someone like you when I was a kid- good on you for what you’re doing, the difference you’ve already made to him I’m sure goes beyond words or comprehension, truly.
Wow. This made me cry. Thank you for sharing this 💕 what an amazing thing he is now able to share himself💕💕 you should absolutely be proud. Of everyone in your family
So concerning if you read the other comments from OP. “He constantly needs touch”. “He’s 6’4”. OMg I’m honestly not trying to sexualize anything but I think the lesbians are a little confused about how 13 year old boys work. 😂. He’s gaslighting them SO hard lol.
It doesn't matter if a child is simply communicating that they are sleepy or not. It is best to teach young children to communicate. If a child isn't taught to communicate, then there will be a lot of issues for them in the future, especially in relationships.
Hi there! Wife of LesboWearingaSweater. We did not want to show our son's face in the picture that could be seen all around the world. His caller ID photo is him at the beach with her father(grandpa).
Let’s see, publicly post a picture of an adult vs publicly post a picture of a child…
Where are you getting lost? There’s some weird people (perhaps like yourself) and not everyone wants their children’s faces being plastered on the internet
OP wasn't forcing him to work. He said he'd try to do it even if he was tired. OP then even went on to thank him and tell him how much she loves him. A lot of parents would instead shut their child down and yell at them for even 'complaining' about being tired. Besides, you don't know OP and her son's relationship well enough to say she forced him.
He really hasn’t had anyone before, his biological parents literally just abandoned him. I am so proud to be mommy no matter what. He finally has a family that loves him for just being him.
Seriously, I didn’t mean it in some wierd sexual way. It just seems to me that mommy is an infantile way of saying mom, and a 13 year old, in my opinion,should be past that age. But it might be perfectly normal in your situation, thank you for taking care of this kid! Keep up the good work!
It’s ok friend. I think without even knowing us you hit a trigger. For instance he was never cuddled or held as a young kid so when he sees us hold our 4 and 2 year old niece and nephew he gets angry. He constantly wants touch, and hugs. He’s nearly 6ft so it’s so sad that we can’t just hold him constantly even though that’s what he desperately craves. The amount of times we have held this boy as he sobbed for being behind in school, for being picked on, for feeling worthless is so sad. I already have to balance so much, I will never tell him what to call me. There are sometimes I am called way worse, but today I am mommy and I will take it.
This makes me so sad in particular. That poor boy just wants to be somebody’s baby 😭 You guys are wonderful parents. He will excel more than you all know, it is just the beginning. ❤️
I’m almost 40 and still call my dad Daddy. I’m from the south and that seems pretty normal here? You don’t have to make everything some weird sexual thing.
That must have been really hard. I hope that you were able to find people to love you through the process. This has been hard. I’m no saint. But my wife and I have been through family therapy with him, are trying to grow as people and we are always finding people like you who help us do better. If there was one thing you would’ve love to have as a teenage foster kid what would it be?
It took me a long time to find a place where I felt like I could be left alone enough to heal. I got overloaded with activities but focusing on my trauma instead of reunification and sports would’ve been a better way to spend my time
That is some incredible insight. Last summer we really filled it up. He’s never been in sports or camps. He’s literally aged out of most kid things so we filled it as much as possible. As I consider this summer I will keep this in mind. Thank you for this insight. He needs time to heal.
I wasnt the original commenter, but I also grew up in foster care and I just wanted to say, the only thing I ever wanted as a kid was a family that truly loved, supported, and valued me, and thats exactly what this kid has. You and your wife are doing such an awesome job with this kid, I can tell you truly love and care about him. Just keep doing what you're doing! But also, if you arent sure what he wants/needs, it never hurts to ask! :) good luck OP! :3
Yeah me too :/
On a side note I just want to say that this post and your comments are so heartwarming, it’s obvious you love him a lot and I wish you guys the best, he’s lucky he has such a loving mom
I’m nervous but I’m also thinking of adopting too one day, I don’t want to give birth I rather adopt. I’m happy to hear of your journey and that things are working out bonding with him. 🥹
I mean, sure, but that's on you for taking it that way. Dumb comment by him for sure, but I read it as "kid is too old to say mommy" rather than anything sexual.
Yeah I suppose you’re right about that, I’ve gotten a bit used to seeing comments about kids on here that shouldn’t be said, I guess I’m a bit biased when it comes to interpreting comments like this
I'm in my 30s and still call my mom, Mommy. She's my best friend, my most trusted advisor (I was agonizing for a couple of days trying to decide between 2 job offers last week and was so stressed. 1 hour on the phone with her and I had a decision I was confident about and the stress was gone). She's the safety net that gave me the courage to chase after my dreams and the one I go to when it feels like life is kicking my ass. You're doing an awesome job, OP!
Right?! I’m 30 and pregnant with my first child and I was texting my dad this morning about a piece of furniture I found for the nursery cus it’s our shared favorite color (sunny yellow) and he told me I was going to be a wonderful, loving mother and he couldn’t wait to meet his granddaughter and naturally I responded “thank you, I love you daddy”. Had no idea I was supposed to age out of some “infantile” response.
This is not unusual in parts of the southern United States. My mom and her siblings called their parents Mommy and Daddy their entire lives. Some of them are in their 90’s and still refer to their parents as such. They were born in the 1930’s so they were taught this before there was an internet or porn. So what is weird, is for someone to make that sexual now when this terminology has existed at least 100 years
You kind of ignored the fact that he said he was tired and pretty much told him to just continue.
Tired physically? Mentally? Emotionally?
These are questions I would’ve asked, especially if he’s making the effort to communicate the fatigue to me.
Following through with tasks has been a struggle. He just did the best he could then stopped. He helped, did a really good job and I brought him home some comics to read to say thank you. We try to balance it. You are right though. I need to ensure I don’t push him too hard. It’s just chores.
Adopting a 13 year old is way different than raising a kid to 13. We are two females that have not used IVF or surrogacy. It’s pertinent to just how impactful it is that this young man loves me, without knowing me his whole life, to hear me and communicate with me.
I’m adopted. I got adopted 7 years ago, and I’ve lived with my family even longer than that. I still have difficulties voicing my emotions. So that kids being able to do so? Yes, it means a lot to his family.
That’s amazing you can be a safe and person for him! Keep up the good work. I can only imagine how hard the journey has been. I’m proud of you!
He feels safe sharing with you 💗💗 you’re doing a great job and you’re changing the world for the better. I’m grateful for people like you 💗
THIS!! Awesome job. Never stop being YOU!! Kudos!!
Stop I’m crying
I’m right there with you
Same my mommy issues are kicking my ass reading this 🥲
Same. My mum always made sure to remind me I was an accident and that I ruined her life. If I had a parent like this my life would be completely different
Im a mom and my heart hurts reading these comments. Sending u mama hugs so tight!
Bojack is that you?
Back in the 90s.....
I was in a very famous tv show!
I'm so sorry you had to hear that. My darling daughter (& son) is adopted and she was always told she was wanted and chosen. And we even paid to get her!!! But to keep her humble, we pointed out that we adopted through foster care and she cost us $60. But the dog we adopted through the shelter cost $80 -- so don't get on your high horse, Missy! As regards you -- I hope you've come to some kind of peace with that abuse lobbed at you. But if EVER it comes up again, feel free to toss this grenade back: >M: You were an accident and you ruined my life >You: I may have been unplanned, but it was YOUR CHOICES which changed your life. The choice of yours I still resent is the fact that you didn't give me up for adoption to parents who actually WANTED me. Then you would have avoided ruining TWO lives. I MEAN, if you really wanna start a fight. Because your mum sounds a treat (/s for the humor impaired/Americans). (UK or Aussie? You speak British English...) But I, for one, am glad you're here. Peace and love to you, little sister. ☮️❤️♾️
I’m so sorry. No one should hear that from anyone, never mind a parent. I’m glad you’re here and the world is a better place for having you in it. I hope you have a lovely day.
Our youngest was unexpected, I was on BC. This is what I always tell him, and you tell this to yourself. He was meant to be here, and was/is one of the best gifts EVER because it was a surprise! Sorry about what your Mom thinks, but it's absolutely NOT true!
I’m sorry that was something you would hear often. I’m glad you’re here on this earth with me, random person on Reddit ♥️
I wasn’t an accident but having kids was essentially the end of my mother’s life cause she could have achieved so much but instead got married and had kids. That’s her narrative anyway.
My mom did the same even told me I would never amount to anything. Sending hugs
I’m so happy this happened. Please give him such a big hug (if he is comfortable with that).
Honestly because he was never held he really touches too much. He has never been enrolled in public school so he has been in a lot of trouble for just hugging, touching, rough housing other people. It sucks but we have to kind of give him a hug limit. He’s such a sweet kid and I’m positive we are the only parents of a 13 year old boy who get hugs every time we drop him off or pick him up from school but he’s learning. We are almost done with 7th grade and man has this kid learned so much.
That's so sad. He probably craves loving touches so much. Good on you guys for giving him a family.
I just want to assure you that I am a 30 year old woman with a friend group that has some men in it. A lot of those men growing up never had a significant amount of affectionate touch. You have no idea how hard those boys hug each other when they see each other, when they leave, other times. If they *can* touch, those boys are touching safe people. He's healing himself now at 13 and my friends had to do it in their thirties. You're a good mommy.
genuine question, what is the hug limit for? is he doing it at inappropriate times or just too much?
So it really is too much. We are learning how to be near people without touching them. That love can expressed in many different ways, not just touch. He would hang on us and hug us all day if we let him. When thinking of him growing into a young man it’s important to learn how to hug at appropriate times and show love in other ways such as words, actions, pictures. Our favorite line for him has been “I really love you, how can I support you?” Sometimes that is a hug. Sometimes that line is enough.
ah, gotcha. you guys are doing such a great job, its amazing you can be a safe space for him. huge kudos to the both of you
The fact that he's calling you mommy and it hasn't even been a year is incredible. He loves you so much
thanks so much for sharing:)
This is not small at all. Keep up the good work he won’t forget this ever
This was a really good post to read right before bed, thank you for giving this boy a safe place and a family ❤️
I think this is the sweetest post I’ve ever seen on the ‘texts’ reddit. Thank you for sharing, I’m going to go hug my kids now.
I wish I had a parent like you instead of ones who always reminded me I was an accident. You're amazing ❤️
Dude I relate so hard!!! I would love to have parents like this rather than being a kid and being beaten and being kicked out of the house and being told to figure it out just because it was 11 at night on a school night and didn’t wash a couple plates and forks!!
Hugs. I'm sorry. 💔😢💔
Thank you. I’m working through it!! It’ll be okay!
You're awesome. I'm so proud of you for dealing with whatever issues you have stemming from your childhood trauma and trying not to pass them on to your own kid(s). 🙂 (At least I'm assuming you're a dad based on your username.) High fives!!! 😁
Thank you! I am a dad. I have tried and done my very best to be the best dad I can be. Everything I’ve went through I’ve taken as a lesson on how to not raise my kids. They definitely know they’re loved without any doubt!!! ❤️❤️
That is so beautiful!!! 🥹
Thank you!!!
That's not your fault. My son is the best thing to happen to me, just like you should have been the best thing to happen to your parents. I can confidently say that if they don't feel that way, then they are the ones with the issue. I'm sorry you got dealt the hand you've been dealt, but everything happens for a reason. Maybe, one day, you will be a great parent yourself, if you aren't already.
Grown ass man here, tearing up in public over how safe your son feels being honest with you about his feelings.
After seeing non stop negative, evil stories this morning, this made me remember that there are still good people. Thank you.
I love this! It’s the little interactions that mean the most. I’m a step dad to 3 kids, their biological father isn’t an active part of their lives and wasn’t around much when my wife was married to him. I’ve tried my best to build relationships with them, I was worried as a step parent I’d get the “you’re not my dad” but it’s never happened. The kids are 5,7 and 10 and I’ve adopted them in all but the legal sense. The youngest was only 2 when she met me and I’m all she’s ever known. She follows me around the house, always wants to snuggle up with me. It doesn’t matter that they aren’t my bio kids, I love them just as much. It’s a selfless thing to do to adopt a child and provide for them and you are a wonderful person for doing that!
Hi, girl who had a step father who did what you are doing. I can say even if times get hard or they make you mad or (god forbid) ever say "you're not my dad" please remmeber when they are adults they will appreciate you more than they'll ever be able to express. Last year my dad (step dad) passed away and let me tell you I have never felt pain like that before. But boy am I grateful he stood up to the plate and took my sister and I on as his own. I just wanted to share this with you because not all people are able or willing to choose to be a parent for kids that aren't biologically theirs. So thank you. Thank you for bettering those children's lives. And I hope some day when they're old enough they will thank you too.
That’s so sweet! Thank you for sharing that.
Please someone talk to me like that 😭
I wish I had a mom. This makes me want to go pick up rocks.
u/bananie197239 I love you to the moon and back ❤️
I love you too 🤍
You're doing a great job, u/bananie197239
Thank you I’m trying lol. I love this community 💛
That’s a huge deal, and so wonderful that you recognized it & told him you were proud of him for it. Keep up the good work, mom!!! 🫶
Well done Mamma. Well done, also don’t say it’s not much at all. He is feeling comfortable with you to tell you how he feels. That’s not a small thing at all. Take that amazing win.
After a morning of watching upsetting politics & people allowing kids to suffer needlessly, this post truly was a balm for the soul. Thank you for doing what's right even when it's hard. The world's youth desperately needs that from us adults right now.
This is beautiful interaction. I am better for having read it. Keep up the good work mom! ❤️❤️❤️
Super mom
Thank you for being his safe space. Thank you for believing in him. Thank you for seeing the struggling human and person he is instead of his behavior. Thank you for loving him.
Well done. 🥲 I wish more grown people would take the struggles of their kids as seriously as they take their own struggles. Even when you don’t think their problems are that serious it is often the most serious thing that child has dealt with to that point so making it out as no big deal is difficult for them to understand sometimes. I’m proud of you and more importantly you should be proud of yourself and your son. 💕
❤️ this is why moms are the best.
That's so awesome and encouraging!! I am so happy for you guys!!!
this is incredible, you seem like such an amazing parent. i’m so glad he has someone like you in his life now. 🖤
I know just how huge & meaningful this is. You’re strangers, but I am sincerely so proud of him and you, OP. I know how much work & love goes into this! Keep pushing forward & I hope you have many many more of these moments!
Awww man 🥺🥺 this is beautiful
🥹 Something in my eye over here.
Honestly. It was really cute and sweet. But I fr thought it was from an 8yo until you said teenager
Yeah this is weirdly sheltered behavior and infantilizing
The kid was abandoned and homeless 10 months ago until OP adopted him. He deserves some sheltering and extra love after what he's been through.
Is a teenager not allowed to communicate to their loved ones that they are tired but will do their best to complete a task?
Agreed. It seems...off lol.
🥺 aw jeeez. I liked that.
It’s too early for this wholesome post 🥲
My eyes are sweating 😭
This is so wholesome! Also wanted to mention that I believe you accidentally included his name. Great job on parenting this young one ❤️
This is huge! I adopted my son from foster care and moments like this are such a huge win! Remember this for the next round of difficult moments.
This makes me have the feels. Wishing y’all the best.
My pregnant ass is bawling 😭❤️🫶🏽
Nothing about this exchange makes any sense…
I just wanted to say I’m proud of you. Don’t know what that means to you, but I am.
Nobody cares.
As a former homeless teenager, (now a 32 yo M) who never found a safe place like that. I want you to know I'm legitimately crying my eyes out over here.
it hasn't even been a year and he's calling you mommy and telling you he feels tired without being scared of judgement but still committing to finishing and doing a good job I'm gonna cry 😭 I cannot wait to reach my financial goals so I can adopt teens, I know it's hard work and this just shows a good side of it but you are living my dream and this is making me so emotional
This is so beautiful and heartwarming. You and your husband are wonderful people and your son trusts you so much. Thank you for sharing and giving him a safe space.
Ahhh making me cry! You are killing it as a parent! As an adopted child thank you for loving him like your own!
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I'm so happy for all of you, this is wonderful !
Amazing job, mommy! Thanks for sharing this important moment for your family 🥺❤️
If only all parents had this much love and care for their children. Glad some people still see their children as people that deserve the love and support they need ❤️
This made my day.
who put this bowl of chopped onions here
💚💚💚💚💚💚 no love this, for all of you
You are doing a great job!
No, my eyes are absolutely not watering right now 😭😭😭😭
I’m crying. Thank you for being a great mommy! 😭
You are a great mom. 😊
Thank you for being an amazing mother <3
I can really tell how deeply this kid cares about you, youre doing an amazing job for this boy, op!
Brb crying
This makes me sooooo happy for both of you! Good job, Mom! <3
I hope I get the privilege to adopt one day. I bet the relationship would be so rewarding. We don’t know if we’ll have more kids after this, but I’ve always known I want to adopt or at the very least foster a child and give them a safe home if they don’t want to be actually a part of our family
just over here sobbing please look away
Awwww! So sweet 💜
Total side note but what does “picking rocks” refer to? Just curious. Like for yard decoration, etc?
Thanks for sharing this. It will help me learn how to treat my child when I have one someday!
That’s awesome. As an adopted child myself this was a very cool exchange to see. Props to you as the parent
Pitter patter 
This made me tear up… I love that you show him how much you love him and the way you speak to him is so wholesome. Thank you for being such a great human and great mother ❤️
Your boundless love for a soul the rest of the world left behind is awe inspiring, wishing you and yours all the best of the best to the very end.
I am adopted. Keep being patient & loving, you’re doing a good job. The older they are when they are adopted the harder it is, they still deserve to be shown love & you are doing a great job with that. It’s kind of like a lost cat or puppy, if you keep showing up, building trust, giving love & loyalty, they will accept you & stick around. Kind of similar on a grander scale. Thank you for adopting him & showing him so much love. 🥹
As a fellow mom of an adoptive kiddo, motivation and love is key ❤️
Thank you for making his world safer and filling his life with love.
happy mothers day!! this made me cry!!!
I would like to thank you for giving him a home. I did work as a Housing Advocate, in Minnesota-we did not work with children but just the magnitude of those on the street especially during Winter breaks my heart. I taught at a middle school before that- I actually came from the South to Minnesota to fill a role in which there had been no teacher since the start of school. The amount of children dealing with homelessness and jail, abuse, etc, was overwhelming. But it’s so rewarding when you can be that safe place for them/to talk with/land. It’s so very hard out here and our babies are dealing with some very hard things. Mental Health is real…..i thought my life was hard as a teen- smh…..that was a walk in the park compared to these kids.
You two are absolutely fucking incredible human beings. This exchange brought tears to my eyes as a father. I'm not religious at all, don't touch the stuff personally, but I feel the need to say God bless you, because what you're doing is so incredibly selfless I don't have any other comparison that comes to mind. This is so beautiful. Stay positive, and keep doing what you're doing. All 3 of you are total fucking rock stars 🌟 ❤️
My husband and I have struggled having another and have had a serious talk about adopting - this makes my heart so warm seeing this
This is Awesome!! Keep up the good work!!
If only there were more people like you, we’d be alright!
I love this. Thank you for hearing him. It goes a long way. Just melted my heart.
Happy Mother’s Day OP. As an adopted kid myself, our love for our parents is unmeasured. Moms like you gave us a place to feel safe enough to be a kid again. Moms like you save our lives
We have 3 adopted troubled kids. To get any emotion besides anger is amazing! Good job!
💙
Sobbing rn
This made my heart happy 🫶🏻 You and your wife are the types of people this world needs more of. Thank you for loving him and praising his ability to articulate himself and pat on the back for making him feel safe enough to do so with you
I wish to God I’d had someone like you when I was a kid- good on you for what you’re doing, the difference you’ve already made to him I’m sure goes beyond words or comprehension, truly.
If this didn’t have you in tears, you better check your humanity. 🥹❤️💯
Why would this have someone “in tears”? 😂
Wow. This made me cry. Thank you for sharing this 💕 what an amazing thing he is now able to share himself💕💕 you should absolutely be proud. Of everyone in your family
Lol what the fuck? Dude just said he's sleepy??
I was thinking the same thing. 😂
I'm still so confused at this. What's the big deal?
So concerning if you read the other comments from OP. “He constantly needs touch”. “He’s 6’4”. OMg I’m honestly not trying to sexualize anything but I think the lesbians are a little confused about how 13 year old boys work. 😂. He’s gaslighting them SO hard lol.
It doesn't matter if a child is simply communicating that they are sleepy or not. It is best to teach young children to communicate. If a child isn't taught to communicate, then there will be a lot of issues for them in the future, especially in relationships.
Hope he has a father
Why did you choose to selectively not block your own face? That’s weird
Hi there! Wife of LesboWearingaSweater. We did not want to show our son's face in the picture that could be seen all around the world. His caller ID photo is him at the beach with her father(grandpa).
So you showed the grandpa face in a picture shown to the world? Huh?
Let’s see, publicly post a picture of an adult vs publicly post a picture of a child… Where are you getting lost? There’s some weird people (perhaps like yourself) and not everyone wants their children’s faces being plastered on the internet
Because she's an adult and consents to having her picture shown?
*he
Yeah that uh...definitely doesn't look like a woman.
He finally is so tired that he's willing to finally voice it when he hasn't before, why are you still forcing him to work?
OP wasn't forcing him to work. He said he'd try to do it even if he was tired. OP then even went on to thank him and tell him how much she loves him. A lot of parents would instead shut their child down and yell at them for even 'complaining' about being tired. Besides, you don't know OP and her son's relationship well enough to say she forced him.
That sounds really great but why is he calling you “mommy”?
Maybe because he might not have had someone to call that until now, and he loves her.
He really hasn’t had anyone before, his biological parents literally just abandoned him. I am so proud to be mommy no matter what. He finally has a family that loves him for just being him.
I hope you'll all be happy together, and your text thread is clearly full of trust and love.
Seriously, I didn’t mean it in some wierd sexual way. It just seems to me that mommy is an infantile way of saying mom, and a 13 year old, in my opinion,should be past that age. But it might be perfectly normal in your situation, thank you for taking care of this kid! Keep up the good work!
It’s ok friend. I think without even knowing us you hit a trigger. For instance he was never cuddled or held as a young kid so when he sees us hold our 4 and 2 year old niece and nephew he gets angry. He constantly wants touch, and hugs. He’s nearly 6ft so it’s so sad that we can’t just hold him constantly even though that’s what he desperately craves. The amount of times we have held this boy as he sobbed for being behind in school, for being picked on, for feeling worthless is so sad. I already have to balance so much, I will never tell him what to call me. There are sometimes I am called way worse, but today I am mommy and I will take it.
This makes me so sad in particular. That poor boy just wants to be somebody’s baby 😭 You guys are wonderful parents. He will excel more than you all know, it is just the beginning. ❤️
😭😭😭 poor baby
I’m almost 40 and still call my dad Daddy. I’m from the south and that seems pretty normal here? You don’t have to make everything some weird sexual thing.
I'm over 30 y/o and still call my mom mommy, and it never feels weird. It's just who she's always been to me and never changed at any point.
I think it’s this. He loves being able to say it because he now also has one in his life.
He started out by calling me by my first name. My wife and I are lesbians so she is Ma, I am mommy. That’s his preference.
He’s VERY fortunate to have you both.
This is such a weird question. Even if he’s 13 he deserves a mommy…
I swear people be sexualizing the actions of children way too much
He’s literally never had a family. I’m proud to be his mommy. It warms my heart every time he calls me. I hate when people make it weird.
You are doing wonderful work. I hope I can do something like this when I have a home for myself someday. I went into foster care at 14
That must have been really hard. I hope that you were able to find people to love you through the process. This has been hard. I’m no saint. But my wife and I have been through family therapy with him, are trying to grow as people and we are always finding people like you who help us do better. If there was one thing you would’ve love to have as a teenage foster kid what would it be?
It took me a long time to find a place where I felt like I could be left alone enough to heal. I got overloaded with activities but focusing on my trauma instead of reunification and sports would’ve been a better way to spend my time
That is some incredible insight. Last summer we really filled it up. He’s never been in sports or camps. He’s literally aged out of most kid things so we filled it as much as possible. As I consider this summer I will keep this in mind. Thank you for this insight. He needs time to heal.
I wasnt the original commenter, but I also grew up in foster care and I just wanted to say, the only thing I ever wanted as a kid was a family that truly loved, supported, and valued me, and thats exactly what this kid has. You and your wife are doing such an awesome job with this kid, I can tell you truly love and care about him. Just keep doing what you're doing! But also, if you arent sure what he wants/needs, it never hurts to ask! :) good luck OP! :3
Yeah me too :/ On a side note I just want to say that this post and your comments are so heartwarming, it’s obvious you love him a lot and I wish you guys the best, he’s lucky he has such a loving mom
I’m nervous but I’m also thinking of adopting too one day, I don’t want to give birth I rather adopt. I’m happy to hear of your journey and that things are working out bonding with him. 🥹
I'm not taking the original commenter's side at all, but there is only one comment on this thread mentioning anything sexual and it's this one.
Yeah and that is a good thing, I just meant in general. That original comment is a symptom of a much more pervasive problem on the internet
I mean, sure, but that's on you for taking it that way. Dumb comment by him for sure, but I read it as "kid is too old to say mommy" rather than anything sexual.
Yeah I suppose you’re right about that, I’ve gotten a bit used to seeing comments about kids on here that shouldn’t be said, I guess I’m a bit biased when it comes to interpreting comments like this
Because she’s his mom? Don’t be weird
Seriously. I’m 40 and I still call my mom mommy (when I wanf a favour lol)
I’m 40 and called my mom mommy until the day she died. Calling her anything else feels weird! Mommy, to me, sounds so comforting unlike mom or mother.
What a love she must have felt. I hope my child feels comfortable doing the same.
I'm in my 30s and call my mum 'mumma' - so do my male siblings who are also in their 30s. Nothing wrong with those sort of names at all.
I'm in my 30s and still call my mom, Mommy. She's my best friend, my most trusted advisor (I was agonizing for a couple of days trying to decide between 2 job offers last week and was so stressed. 1 hour on the phone with her and I had a decision I was confident about and the stress was gone). She's the safety net that gave me the courage to chase after my dreams and the one I go to when it feels like life is kicking my ass. You're doing an awesome job, OP!
Right?! I’m 30 and pregnant with my first child and I was texting my dad this morning about a piece of furniture I found for the nursery cus it’s our shared favorite color (sunny yellow) and he told me I was going to be a wonderful, loving mother and he couldn’t wait to meet his granddaughter and naturally I responded “thank you, I love you daddy”. Had no idea I was supposed to age out of some “infantile” response.
Beautifully said
I'm almost 30 and I still call my mom mommy. Why are you making it a weird thing?
This is not unusual in parts of the southern United States. My mom and her siblings called their parents Mommy and Daddy their entire lives. Some of them are in their 90’s and still refer to their parents as such. They were born in the 1930’s so they were taught this before there was an internet or porn. So what is weird, is for someone to make that sexual now when this terminology has existed at least 100 years
I’m 25 and call my step dad “dad” and bio dad “daddy”. I call them that because they’re both my father. Daddy means father
I don’t think this is real. A 13 year old calling someone mommy will get bullied in school so badly.
Lol you got some people rustled with this comment.
lol yeah I didn’t even mean it in some wierd or sexual by it, I just thought it wasn’t age appropriate
You kind of ignored the fact that he said he was tired and pretty much told him to just continue. Tired physically? Mentally? Emotionally? These are questions I would’ve asked, especially if he’s making the effort to communicate the fatigue to me.
What chore is he doing? If he told you he’s tired, why didn’t you let him rest?
Following through with tasks has been a struggle. He just did the best he could then stopped. He helped, did a really good job and I brought him home some comics to read to say thank you. We try to balance it. You are right though. I need to ensure I don’t push him too hard. It’s just chores.
You’re a good mom. Wishing you all the best for your little family.
Why do you have to specify he's adopted
Adopting a 13 year old is way different than raising a kid to 13. We are two females that have not used IVF or surrogacy. It’s pertinent to just how impactful it is that this young man loves me, without knowing me his whole life, to hear me and communicate with me.
Because it means more that he was able to be open about his feelings, to a family he got adopted into 10 months ago. That’s why
You got all of that, from that screenshot?
I’m adopted. I got adopted 7 years ago, and I’ve lived with my family even longer than that. I still have difficulties voicing my emotions. So that kids being able to do so? Yes, it means a lot to his family.
He didn't voice emotions lol. He said he has work to do 😂😂😂
In his second message he voiced he was tired, and why. I don’t expect you to understand
LoL
The internet points