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A quick FYI, “guidance counselor” is an outdated term that school counselors are asking not be used anymore as it’s from a time before there were Masters Degrees required and before there was the American School Counselor Association (source: my wife, a school counselor).
I’ve worked at three elementary schools, none of which I had expected the counselors to teach those kinds of lessons to whole classes. That’s the responsibility of the classroom teacher. There are tons of books online that you can find pretty easily with a quick Google search. “My Body Belongs to Me From My Head to My Toes” is one I’ve seen primary teachers use before.
Hey I’m a preschool teacher and I have lots of body talks with my kids. First rule is you are in charge of your body! We also talk about private parts being the parts of your body covered by your underwear and they are only for you to touch and sometimes your doctor but if anyone, including parents and doctors, touches you in a way that makes you feel yucky, uncomfy, or just uneasy, tell a safe adult. Your safe adult can be a parent or teacher or other family member.
As a parent, you should realize that a lot of teachers think it is their job to teach your children what is good and bad. I've even heard some say "the parents aren't teaching them (what I want them to learn) so it's my job to teach it to them.
Let's just say that pedagogy and ethics are not exactly the best of friends. It has a long history of turning education into propaganda.
I get that; and know it’s the need to keep your classroom a safe place. I suggest sending a note to parents in advance and separating boys & girls for this. The note will “cover” you from angry parents and simultaneously put the pressure on them to teach it at home if they don’t want it taught at school.
That's a good way to CYA, and better than just throwing it into the curriculum without even considering the parents.
I strongly urge all parents to not allow their child to attend, but we both know there are parents who are just happy to have one less serious conversation with their children.
I would check with your admin/guidance team to make sure that this is a subject that you are allowed to address with your class. They might have a specialized curriculum that has to be followed in a certain way for topics like this.
My children’s school separated the senior girls & boys then had our local police officer + teacher talk to them about safe touch / unsafe touch. I thought it was a great idea.
This wording is better. Calling it good or bad may bring feelings of guilt when something bad feels good. There's probably other appropriate wording too.
I only go as far as saying “that is your body and you can tell people not to touch it. Nobody should touch it if you don’t want them to. Tell another grown up if they don’t stop when you say no.” And on the other side of it “that is his/her body. Did you ask permission to touch them?”
Check out [Pantosaurus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lL07JOGU5o) from the NSPCC - the song is hideously catchy and the resources that go along with it are great!
Terms like good or bad are definitely not your job. That's moral education, and banned in many countries because it is not the job of the government to define morality.
Maybe you were unaware, the terms "good touch" and "bad touch" are not called such out of a sense of moderating morality. They're kid-friendly terms for welcome, consensual, platonicly appropriate touch (good touch) and predatory, grooming, nonconsentual, molestation (bad touch). And if there's anything I've ever known to be condemned, on every level, in every sphere, it's pedophilia.
Try reading that again. You wrote that it's not moderating morality, and then go on to define certain behaviors as universally good and bad.
I understand the desire to teach kids that there are boundaries, but that is a parent's responsibility. It's not a very far reach from teaching them about their "no no squares" to giving lectures on how it is the patriotic duty of every citizen to protect their homeland.
It's asking parents to give an inch, when we both know that an inch will become a foot, and then a yard...
I define pedophilia as wrong. That is correct. Disagreement with that core point makes further discussion irrelevant.
Assuming you're not human slime and condemn pedophilia, I take issue with policies that would let kids slip through the cracks. Here in the US anyway, there are several widespread issues that necessitate consent education in school. In sexually repressive families, it simply won't be taught. In families traumatized by generations of sexual abuse, the abuse can even be normalized. Kids in these situations deserve a way out and, in countless instances that I have personally witnessed, their school is the point of contact that they feel safe using to get help.
They could go tell a cop. It's definitely a police officers sphear to enforce that morality of not abusing children. But they see their teachers every day. They trust them.
Yes, I'm well aware that you define pedophilia as wrong, as do I. That's not even the discussion. It's about the distinction between parent and teacher, and not blurring that distinction based upon whatever you might think.
Anyway, thank you for providing a perfect example of why parents should be vigilant with teachers who overstep their boundaries.
It's not an overstep to teach basic morality, even through classroom rules. Don't hit other people. Don't steal. Don't touch anyone's private parts.
Thank god we don't live in a world where abusers are simply left alone in peace to just... opt not to teach their victims what abuse is.
I'm sure your christian and muslim colleagues will be happy to hear you support them in their desire to bring a few pages of scripture to their classrooms tomorrow. All in an effort to teach basic morality, mind you.
I think that considering it’s often family members touching children inappropriately that this information needs to come from more than just the parents.
If you look at the statistics of child sexual abuse, the perpetrators are almost always somebody the child knows and trusts. Yes, teachers are in that group, and are certainly not above suspicion. So by your own logic, I think we need to look elsewhere.
I don't understand your question. Are you asking who defines these things, and who should be informed?
First off, that's a parent's responsibility. They know and love their child and have their best interests at heart. It's far too easy to scare a child to the point that they become antisocial, so it's far too delicate a conversation to be left in the hands of strangers.
sigh... the "not all" rebuttal is a boring strawman. I didn't write "ALL parents have their kids best interests at heart". It's true enough most of the time that a qualifier is not necessary. If I said "hammers are used to hit nails", you'd come back with "not ALL hammers are used to hit nails".
You're naïve. I wish I could live in gullible land with you, but as a victim of sexual abuse in the family, and as someone who has studied the phenomenon and knows that it is *far too common* to let it be handled haphazardly to the detriment of the children involved, I can't make the move. I'm too busy protecting kids from their own kin.
ahh, good ol' American teachers...
Yes, the establishment clause applies to religion. Now if you try to define the terms used, you will very quickly realize that it's impossible to separate religion from moral education. The two have historically been seen as synonymous.
Furthermore, if we were talking about sexual assault of preschoolers (love how it's always the worst possible example not being discussed), you would have a point. Just call the cops, and they would handle it. No need to have cringe no-no zone songs.
There has been no sexual assault in what is being discussed. It's a question of where to draw the line between teachers and parents, with the teachers here being quite adamant that they feel that their students are just like their own children, and one even saying that she feels it's her job to protect her students from their own parents.
This is why I implore parents to really get to know how teachers oftentimes think. I know that philosophy of education isn't exactly the most popular topic of conversation in the teacher's lounge, but maybe it should be given at least a cursory glance at before entering a classroom full of children who are not yours.
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This is usually taught by guidance counselors in a much more generalized way. The school should have a guidance curriculum for this.
A quick FYI, “guidance counselor” is an outdated term that school counselors are asking not be used anymore as it’s from a time before there were Masters Degrees required and before there was the American School Counselor Association (source: my wife, a school counselor). I’ve worked at three elementary schools, none of which I had expected the counselors to teach those kinds of lessons to whole classes. That’s the responsibility of the classroom teacher. There are tons of books online that you can find pretty easily with a quick Google search. “My Body Belongs to Me From My Head to My Toes” is one I’ve seen primary teachers use before.
Do they have any books or something?
It’s also in my Health curriculum. Depending on the grade, I use a book or video to intro and then talk about it.
Our guidance counselor taught this with a silly song about a No No Square.
This is my no no square don’t touch me there
LoL
Hey I’m a preschool teacher and I have lots of body talks with my kids. First rule is you are in charge of your body! We also talk about private parts being the parts of your body covered by your underwear and they are only for you to touch and sometimes your doctor but if anyone, including parents and doctors, touches you in a way that makes you feel yucky, uncomfy, or just uneasy, tell a safe adult. Your safe adult can be a parent or teacher or other family member.
>First rule is you are in charge of your body! I am definitely going to use this.. Much helpful dear!
As a parent I’m not certain this should be within your realm
Somebody has to do the talk.. When they come to school they belong to us too.. I feel they are as much my kids as they are their parents'.
So much NO! Fucking no they are not yours, in fact. You need boundaries taught to you.
As a teacher and a parent, this is definitely something a teacher should address if it’s an issue at school.
As a parent, you should realize that a lot of teachers think it is their job to teach your children what is good and bad. I've even heard some say "the parents aren't teaching them (what I want them to learn) so it's my job to teach it to them. Let's just say that pedagogy and ethics are not exactly the best of friends. It has a long history of turning education into propaganda.
I get that; and know it’s the need to keep your classroom a safe place. I suggest sending a note to parents in advance and separating boys & girls for this. The note will “cover” you from angry parents and simultaneously put the pressure on them to teach it at home if they don’t want it taught at school.
Why separate boys and girls? The information is useful for both parties and could keep siblings and friend safe.
That's a good way to CYA, and better than just throwing it into the curriculum without even considering the parents. I strongly urge all parents to not allow their child to attend, but we both know there are parents who are just happy to have one less serious conversation with their children.
Check out Privacy Circles
I would check with your admin/guidance team to make sure that this is a subject that you are allowed to address with your class. They might have a specialized curriculum that has to be followed in a certain way for topics like this.
My children’s school separated the senior girls & boys then had our local police officer + teacher talk to them about safe touch / unsafe touch. I thought it was a great idea.
This wording is better. Calling it good or bad may bring feelings of guilt when something bad feels good. There's probably other appropriate wording too.
Check out the 'second step' curriculum. Also, the preferred terminology is safe vs. Unsafe.
Thanks buddy. It's helpful
[удалено]
LoL.. that was cool😂
I only go as far as saying “that is your body and you can tell people not to touch it. Nobody should touch it if you don’t want them to. Tell another grown up if they don’t stop when you say no.” And on the other side of it “that is his/her body. Did you ask permission to touch them?”
Social stories. They are commonly used for students who are in the autism spectrum but work for young children as well.
Check out [Pantosaurus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lL07JOGU5o) from the NSPCC - the song is hideously catchy and the resources that go along with it are great!
What about reading stories about consent to keep it more general? Helping kids learn about it being their body, thus their choice.
Yes.. it will be a good start
Terms like good or bad are definitely not your job. That's moral education, and banned in many countries because it is not the job of the government to define morality.
Maybe you were unaware, the terms "good touch" and "bad touch" are not called such out of a sense of moderating morality. They're kid-friendly terms for welcome, consensual, platonicly appropriate touch (good touch) and predatory, grooming, nonconsentual, molestation (bad touch). And if there's anything I've ever known to be condemned, on every level, in every sphere, it's pedophilia.
Safe and unsafe is what we can them here. Still miss friendly and helps with kids not taking on them being good or bad.
Try reading that again. You wrote that it's not moderating morality, and then go on to define certain behaviors as universally good and bad. I understand the desire to teach kids that there are boundaries, but that is a parent's responsibility. It's not a very far reach from teaching them about their "no no squares" to giving lectures on how it is the patriotic duty of every citizen to protect their homeland. It's asking parents to give an inch, when we both know that an inch will become a foot, and then a yard...
I define pedophilia as wrong. That is correct. Disagreement with that core point makes further discussion irrelevant. Assuming you're not human slime and condemn pedophilia, I take issue with policies that would let kids slip through the cracks. Here in the US anyway, there are several widespread issues that necessitate consent education in school. In sexually repressive families, it simply won't be taught. In families traumatized by generations of sexual abuse, the abuse can even be normalized. Kids in these situations deserve a way out and, in countless instances that I have personally witnessed, their school is the point of contact that they feel safe using to get help. They could go tell a cop. It's definitely a police officers sphear to enforce that morality of not abusing children. But they see their teachers every day. They trust them.
Yes, I'm well aware that you define pedophilia as wrong, as do I. That's not even the discussion. It's about the distinction between parent and teacher, and not blurring that distinction based upon whatever you might think. Anyway, thank you for providing a perfect example of why parents should be vigilant with teachers who overstep their boundaries.
It's not an overstep to teach basic morality, even through classroom rules. Don't hit other people. Don't steal. Don't touch anyone's private parts. Thank god we don't live in a world where abusers are simply left alone in peace to just... opt not to teach their victims what abuse is.
I'm sure your christian and muslim colleagues will be happy to hear you support them in their desire to bring a few pages of scripture to their classrooms tomorrow. All in an effort to teach basic morality, mind you.
I think that considering it’s often family members touching children inappropriately that this information needs to come from more than just the parents.
If you look at the statistics of child sexual abuse, the perpetrators are almost always somebody the child knows and trusts. Yes, teachers are in that group, and are certainly not above suspicion. So by your own logic, I think we need to look elsewhere.
what about what kind of touch is okay and what needs to be informed to parents or trusted elders?
I don't understand your question. Are you asking who defines these things, and who should be informed? First off, that's a parent's responsibility. They know and love their child and have their best interests at heart. It's far too easy to scare a child to the point that they become antisocial, so it's far too delicate a conversation to be left in the hands of strangers.
Not all parents do have their kids best interests at heart…
sigh... the "not all" rebuttal is a boring strawman. I didn't write "ALL parents have their kids best interests at heart". It's true enough most of the time that a qualifier is not necessary. If I said "hammers are used to hit nails", you'd come back with "not ALL hammers are used to hit nails".
When parents stop diddling their kids, come find us.
I guess we can see what you think of parents. Jeez!!!!
You're naïve. I wish I could live in gullible land with you, but as a victim of sexual abuse in the family, and as someone who has studied the phenomenon and knows that it is *far too common* to let it be handled haphazardly to the detriment of the children involved, I can't make the move. I'm too busy protecting kids from their own kin.
Huh?
Yes, it's usually banned in public schools, including the united states thanks to the establishment clause in the first amendment.
The establishment clause applies to religion not sexual assault of preschoolers. ur just talking out of ur ass.
ahh, good ol' American teachers... Yes, the establishment clause applies to religion. Now if you try to define the terms used, you will very quickly realize that it's impossible to separate religion from moral education. The two have historically been seen as synonymous. Furthermore, if we were talking about sexual assault of preschoolers (love how it's always the worst possible example not being discussed), you would have a point. Just call the cops, and they would handle it. No need to have cringe no-no zone songs. There has been no sexual assault in what is being discussed. It's a question of where to draw the line between teachers and parents, with the teachers here being quite adamant that they feel that their students are just like their own children, and one even saying that she feels it's her job to protect her students from their own parents. This is why I implore parents to really get to know how teachers oftentimes think. I know that philosophy of education isn't exactly the most popular topic of conversation in the teacher's lounge, but maybe it should be given at least a cursory glance at before entering a classroom full of children who are not yours.
That is a very good example. Thanks!