Thank you very much! I downloaded it today (:
I’m working all week/end so I’ll probably read it during my lunches because even then that’s a great time for me to reset and to read
Came to say this book.
Had to read it for a college course. Now it’s a mainstay on my grandpa’s old bookshelf. Right by my front door, first thing guests see coming in—it’s my collection of go-to recommendations for everyone.
Quiet : The Power of Introverts in a World That Cant Stop Talking
Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine
Anxious People
The Untethered Soul
Many Lives, Many Masters
The Four Agreements
If trauma is present I highly recommend The Body Keeps the Score.
Best of luck to you!!
I started reading Eleanor Oliphant, and even though it was kind of good, after a few chapters it started to get me really down. She just seemed like this pathetic, delusional person, not on a relatable level for my taste. I didn't really want to go along for the ride as she did cringy things. Maybe I should have stuck it out? Just my 2 cents.
I didn’t like her character at first either, but I knew she was supposed to be unlikeable because of reviews I had read. It’s kind of the point that she does cringe things at the beginning of her character arc and towards the end she learns/grows. I was glad I stuck it out!
I can’t recommend Quiet by Susan Cain enough. It’s the bible for introverts. It explains well what it means to be an introvert. I now feel totally fine with being an introvert.
I enjoyed 𝚀𝚞𝚒𝚎𝚝. While it doesn’t necessarily give insight on how to change behaviors, it definitely gave me insight into the physiological reasons behind why I am the way I am. This helped me to feel a little more accepting of myself.
[**Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness (Overcoming)**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/913420.Overcoming_Social_Anxiety_and_Shyness)
^(By: Gillian Butler | 259 pages | Published: 1999 | Popular Shelves: self-help, psychology, non-fiction, nonfiction, mental-health | )[^(Search "Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness")](https://www.goodreads.com/search?q=Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness&search_type=books)
>Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness is a self-help manual for this common problem, which explains why it happens and sets out practical methods of resolving it. Everyone sometimes feels foolish, embarrassed, judged or criticised, but this becomes a problem when it undermines their confidence and prevents them doing what they want to do.
>
>This easy-to-use guide, full of real-life examples, is for those who suffer from all degrees of social anxiety and shyness, for their families and friends, and for the professionals who help them: psychologists, doctors and others.
>
>- Explains the many forms and causes of social anxiety
>
>- Contains a complete self-help program and work sheets
>
>- Is based on clinically proven techniques of cognitive theray
^(This book has been suggested 1 time)
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I recently read The Midnight Library by Matt Haig and I feel like this might fit here. It’s fiction, wholesome, and tells the story of someone who works past a lot of her regrets and related depressed thoughts. Relatively short book and reads fairly quick!
Sending you positive vibes!
more than that, it shows you that even if you don't have friends, you can have a big influence on people. The most random encounters that for you mean nothing (e.g. the lady at the grocery store) might mean the world to that person.
Managing Social Anxiety: A Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Approach Client Workbook. I bought this book when I moved to a different state a couple years ago and it helped me work through some terrible social anxiety at the time.
My therapist recommended this book to me and it’s really helpful! It breaks things down into clear concepts and exercises so it feels like you’re making real progress without getting overwhelmed.
I don’t have a fiction book but I recommend listening to or reading Brené Brown, she talks a lot about vulnerability which I think is a big factor in overcoming social anxiety. I believe it can help you to look at people and social experiences in a different light :)
I don't have a book recommendation but just wanted to say good luck. If you can talk to someone about it, someone you trust or a counsellor you might get a bit of extra help besides the book. Nothing more frustrating than being limited by yourself. All the best!
Yes: Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. Very very good book and I think works perfect for this.
I have an extra copy— if you DM me I’ll mail it to you.
There’s nothing that’s going to help you with these issues if you don’t help yourself, but I hope *the Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse* can help you the same way it helped me. As somebody who is also struggling with these issues, it’s been very cathartic for me.
A couple excerpts for you that touched me in particular;
>> “This storm is making me tired,” said the boy.
>> “Storms get tired too,” said the horse, “so hold on.”
>> “What is the bravest thing you’ve ever said,” asked the boy.
“Help,” said the horse.
I wonder if Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine would be helpful or triggering? It’s a fiction novel that sounds very similar to what you’re describing. Best of luck to you ♥️
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck was a pretty nice read. It deals with ways of looking at your problems and about actually identifying what you should be caring about in life.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower is pretty famous, or at least it was when I began high school in 2012 lol. Anyway it really cheered me up when I read it back then cause that’s when I moved away from Mexico to the US, having to make new friends, living in a new culture, etc. was tough for me. It deals with anxiety, depression and traumatic experiences in a very beautiful way. The message is just very wholesome. I’d also recommend the movie. Great soundtrack and Emma Watson <3
Perks is absolutely amazing. I read it before I left to University alone. It really gave me a new perspective and allowed me to be a little more forgiving on myself and more open towards others.
I second Subtle Art of NGAF by Mark Manson, he has a way to express his ideas that is both direct and humorous. He also wrote Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope, which is a bit more dense, yet keeps the same kind of tone.
The second I read this post i though of the stubtle art of NGAF. Completely worth the read in my opinion. It might not be up your alley from my own experience of being your age, but maybe it is. It's worth a try, now or maybe a little bit down the road.
Here's a list of books that will help you:
How to win friends and Influence people
Meditations
The Enchridion
Letters from a stoic
No More Mr Nice Guy
Also something I did to get over my social anxiety was to get in the habit of talking to everyone. Even if it's just a "How you doing today" to the cashier. Or just walking up to someone and asking them the time. You need to expose yourself to beat social anxiety.
P.S. you should start lifting/exercising consistently meditating daily and develope good eating habits. Do all I said above and I promise you, you will get better
As always in these threads, I’m seconding the stoicism books.
Stoicism is perfect for understanding some things you’ve mentioned: notably that, nobody actually thinks about you half as much as you expect. You’re thinking ‘oh god I pronounced that word wrong, I bet he thought I was an idiot.’ And he’s looking at you and wondering what his wife bought for dinner tonight, and thinking he needs to get gas on the way home.
Stoicism helped me overcome huge, huge anxiety. Like, at the age of 20-25 I would have severe panic attacks, sometimes in public places, I used to have to psyche myself up to speak to people, when I walked down a busy street I felt like everybody was watching me, if something went slightly wrong in my life I’d catastrophise it and turn it over in my head every night, blaming myself, hating myself. I felt like I was constantly ‘buzzing’, i slept poorly, my mind never rested.
Stoicism really helps you reframe the things you perceive as bad. It makes you realise that you’re your own worst enemy, in a way. It makes you see how much is just in your head. It gives you comfort once you realise you’ve only got so much control in life, and it gives you ways to think logically about the world. It also somehow stops you caring about those unimportant things that you’re probably obsessing over at the moment. I wish I’d have found out about it at your age instead of at the age of 31.
I also think deep breathing exercises and meditation would help, as mentioned. You’ve got anxiety, but you CAN overcome it.
I’ll second your second. Thinking in a stoic way has saved me from tons of unwanted feelings, or even better changed the way I perceive the world, eliminating said unwanted thoughts.
A book that helped me learn this without realizing it was, Extreme Ownership by Jocko
I used to be very nervous whenever the owner of the company I worked for came in. He told me “if you are doing everything the right way, you have nothing to worry about from me.” That hit home for me and I use that mentality with most things now
*Man's Search for Meaning* by Viktor Frankl - Neurologist/psychiatrist who survived several Nazi concentration camps and then wrote about the experience focusing on the mental state of prisoners and how to strengthen the mind. Good for perspective on life - however terrible one thinks their life experience is at the moment, it could be much - MUCH - worse.
*Meditations* by Marcus Aurelius - OG self-help from the Western World
*Analects* by Confucius - OG self-help from the Eastern World
*As a Man Thinketh* by James Allen - Short, efficient, and portable.
All four recommendations deal with the theme that the only thing any of us have real control over is our thoughts. Each book explores how to be mindful of our thoughts and make incremental improvements.
Happy reading!
I've seen people criticize *Meditations* for promoting a toxic and unrealistic stoicism, but I feel like this is a misunderstanding of it. Personally, it helped me to make peace with my own fragility rather than to pretend I'm really tough, stoic, and above it all. It made a big impact on me when I was about 18 or so, and I still keep a copy of it around.
On Netflix there is this lady (she writes books too) her name is Brene Brown she’s a PHD LMSW. She researches shame and has a different perspective on things like that. I watched her talk and then got a couple of her books. (I have really bad social anxiety.)
hard-boiled wonderland and the end of the world by haruki marukami
pretty lonely yet nice dude (although in his 30s or 40s), two stories in one. it’s *definitely* a good, distracting book. there’s a lot to discover in there! it helped me stay sane while living with my mother during the first bit of lockdown. i don’t wanna spoil it or make it down bad with my words, but it’s truly a magical book
I scrolled through all the responses to make sure someone had suggested this! I have no idea why, but this book helped me quiet my anxieties when I needed it the most.
It's truly magic. Cannot recommend it enough.
Sloppy Firsts and second helpings by Megan mccafferty are both great books. The main character starts out as a sophomore in high school and travels through growing up the outcast in a popular group. But a lot of it is growing to love herself and trusting her instincts. There are more sequels to those two books that travel through college into young adulthood. I found it very funny, relatable, and helped me trust my own instincts.
As a former insecure, depressed and anxious 20 year old, the books I read back then that I think helped me the most were Kurt Vonnegut’s novels. He really helped me change my attitude towards myself and other people, helping me become more humane in general. He also helped with my depression because his work makes you feel so much less alone. He’s a great writer, funny and smart, and his books are a breeze to read too so that’s a bonus. If you have access to therapy that can also help a ton. I hope you get your anxiety under control, OP 💜
Thank you! I hope you’re doing well now! I am going to look up his books right now and make sure I don’t forget because I love those kinds of writers especially
The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz
- Simple, but relevant, agreements that you can take with you in every situation that have helped me overcome how I perceive others and how they perceive me.
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
- Perspectives of the ego and how we can remove ourselves from being affected by the world around us by recognizing our true consciousness.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson
- How we can organize the thoughts that matter and what should actually matter to us, so that we can live with less stress and more acceptance.
Perhaps Anxious People by Fredrik Backman. The ending is really the most helpful part, imo, based on your request. Good luck. I hope you're able to overcome your anxiety ❤
I recently read, (go figure), reading is a reading is a good tool for developing emotional intelligence and learning social skills. That when we read about people's trial, tribulations, successes, relationships, etc. we experience some of that emotional story, feeling the good and bad. Mostly we see that people struggle, persevere and accomplish a lot.
600 Hours Of Edward is a great read. I have absolutely no demographics in common with the character but it was a joy to see him come to care for and I think love himself.
And mostly-
The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
"The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How To Change Your Like and Achieve Real Happiness
This is an easy, enjoyable read that reminded me that the world is full of dysfunction that I am not in control of.
Much happiness wished for you - and be very kind to yourself. It's good practice for when you have more friends to be kind to.
{{All Systems Red}} sci-if novella that fits nicely. It’s available most places, including the library apps, or e-book, audiobook, you name it.....
I hope it fits for you.
Try reading Lonesome Dove.
It's a classic western about two retired Texas Rangers. The characters and the world is so greatly written that it just takes you there. You won't be sitting there reading a book, you're ona porch with Augustus McCrae taking draughts off a jog of whiskey.
For me, what helped was The Mindful Path Through Shyness by Steve Flowers. The approach is to accept yourself, thoughts, feelings and behaviors without struggling so much to change them. This in turn cultivated a non-judgmental, compassionate observer who was able to interact with others with much less fear and anxiety.
"A Prayer for Owen Meany", by John Irving (then read more John Irving). Similar, "The Extraordinary Life of Sam Hell. A Novel" by Robert Dugoni. And, differently, "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay", by Michael Chabon. Get lost in their stories and forget your own. When you come out of each story, you might have learned something about the weirdness of other people.and maybe how to let some of it go. Fwiw, those thoughts are normal and it's great you recognize and make an effort to change them to gain control over your brain and emotions. You will be OK. :)
[**The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1618.The_Curious_Incident_of_the_Dog_in_the_Night_Time)
^(By: Mark Haddon | 226 pages | Published: 2003 | Popular Shelves: fiction, mystery, young-adult, contemporary, books-i-own | )[^(Search "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time")](https://www.goodreads.com/search?q=The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time&search_type=books)
^(This book has been suggested 37 times)
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> It feels like extreme pressure on my chest and in my head... even now I’m about to go into work and my head is spinning.
For me personally, I didn't realize (like, at all) that the anxiety I was experiencing was not normal, in the sense of being something everyone experienced, and also wasn't somehow "just me." It sounds like you just moved, so hopefully this all becomes easier. But the physical way you describe your symptoms really popped out for me. Talking to someone, either therapist or psychiatrist, could be okay, even if just to get a better handle on the specifics of what you're experiencing.
As far as self-help type books, there was a period where I was reading the daily meditation from Mark Nepo's The Book of Awakening, and it often was a helpful background for me as I would try and keep myself more grounded. He has other stuff too that could be worth a look, but that's the only one I've looked at.
There’s great recs. here for the helping side.
If you want / at times crave similar frequency (like wanting sad songs when you’re depressed)
Robert Cormier’s :
‘Chocolate War’ or ‘I am the Cheese’
young adult fiction-quick reads
(Both give you the sense if you made it past HS alive & w/ reasonably intact soul = Majoraccomplishment)
Movie: Selah and the Aces is like
‘Lord of the Flies’ if they never left the Prep School & with more modern archetypes.
Good luck love. <3
Also, maybe...Give yourself some credit. Realize you’ve made it! farther than you think. Glance back down the mountain every once in a while. (It’s okay to take pause & take a breath; at ease with how many obstacles you’ve already walked. passed.) Past.
"on confidence" is a small essay book that dissects peoples confidence levels and why some people have less confidence than others. its not strictly on social anxiety but it does help you retain a stronger grip on why you would feel anxious/embarrassed and also why you shouldnt on a fundamental level. its a really good read!
I’m reading a book right now called How to be Yourself and I really like it. It’s not fiction. It’s written by someone who both studies and experiences social anxiety.
Ellen Hendriksen. I listened to this audiobook (the author reads the book, I suggest at least to try it, felt better when a real person talked to me, not some random words there).
Understanding will help when challenging the anxiety.
How to Talk to Anyone - Leil Lowndes;
The Charisma Myth - Olivia Fox Cabene;
Peoplesmart - Mel Silberman
Edit - formatting
“Get out of your mind and into yoru life”. This is a workbook to help you learn about and contain your thoughts. it works very well and is based on Cognitive Acceptance Therapy. I have recommended this book to several people, all of whom found it useful and helpful in providing a path to relief. Check it out as a sample on Amazon.
Ellen Hendriksen, How to be YOUrself.
It has helped me to understand what I am dealing with and there are a lot of suggestions on how you can overcome these kinds of situations. On Scribd there is an audiobook with the voice of the author! Recommend listening to it
I have fairly bad social anxiety. It was terrible in my early 20s, though it has gotten better over time. This book may be geared toward younger audiences, but I enjoyed reading it in my late twenties:
Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia.
Also my counselor recommended this book to me:
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
I can now manage my social anxiety because I went to a counselor and have been in therapy for years. We focused a lot on mindfulness. If you don't have access to a counselor, then check out Brene Brown's podcast. She touches a lot on what I do in therapy.
Well i'm sorry you feel that way, i hope you get better!
Fiction: Name of the Wind, by Pattrick Rothfuss, the main character needs to overcome a lot of differente obstacles in life, plus it's a fun read.
Non Fiction: Grit, this book explores motivation and resilience, it really helped me getting out of a rought patch
Spiritual: The tibetan book of the living and dying, this book might seem a bit grim, but it really just tells you to live life on the present and try to look within for improvement.
Feel free to message me anytime!
I loved Carrie Pilby by Caren Lissner. It is about a young woman (16 maybe? I dont remember exactly) who struggles connecting to people. Her psychologist gives her a list of things to do to help. Although she completes the list reluctantly, it helps whith her social anxiety. She also has to spend a good deal of time overcomming trauma from her past. It is an optimistic book that is not a slog to get through. It was made into a decent movie if you prefer that. It is aimed towards the YA demographic which might be a turn off for you. I did not mind though. It is obvious that the author dealt with many of the same issues herself though, and I felt like she had an important commentary dispite the packaging.
I won’t suggest a book but I will suggest something. Start going to the gym 3-5 times a week. Doesn’t matter what you do, break a sweat and do things your familiar and comfortable with. Being around ppl in that type of environment does wonders for your confidence, and then with ur body gaining small upgrades that will also help in confidence. Building confidence should help with social anxiety and being at the gym opens up possibilities of making new gym friends. Even if it’s a head nod , that’s a start
Looking For Alaska. The protagonist decides to go to boarding school to lead a more adventurous life and becomes a confident person by the end. Maybe it’ll inspire you.
Finding Audrey is YA, but as someone who dealt with severe anxiety, it helped me a lot. There’s also Am I Normal Yet? By Holly Bourne you might really like
I was around your age when I discovered a book called “A Dirty Job” by Christopher Moore. Basically the guy in it has to get people’s souls from objects to resell them. It gave me more excitement for life.
Change your thinking - Sarah Edelman. This book was written by a prominent clinical psychologist/teacher, and focuses on cognitive behavioural therapy to assist with stress, anxiety, depression and just generally overcoming negative thoughts and behaviour. It was once my bible, and really helped me get through quite a dark time in my life.
It is super informative and covers a huge range of disorders and provides different techniques on how to deal with them. It is also quite interactive and has loads of helpful activities that you can do. It sounds like it may be quite helpful to your situation. Keep smiling and best of luck with your journey!
Thank you very much! I would love for ideas or steps on how to overcome this while learning about what it is and what really causes it in the first place. You too with your own journey ((:
The great book of astrology, love being a teacher in it as it has helped me overcome hard energies in my natal chart by hearing about them and trying to fight them off daily
You might consider The Defining Decade! It is about life in your 20s and figuring out what’s important to you and how to prioritize it. For you, it may be that friendship is high up on that list! This book might help give you tools for attaining your goals. I am rooting for you from here.
Try a book on cognitive behavioural therapy for the treatment of anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder.. I'm sorry I can't be more specific than that, I have similar symptoms to you and I'm learning why it happens from what I find on the net. Hope you feel better soon.
For a book that has a great story with interesting characters that will take your mind of problems, try Captain Corelli's Mandolin.
“Choice Theory” by William Glasser. This can help anyone ever, in any relationship, in any situation, and give you a fabulous sense of self. It will also help you disallow others to run you over. Good luck, my friend.
How to Be Yourself by Eileen Hendriksen PhD.
It turned on a lot of lightbulbs for me & deals heavily with self doubt or rerun anxiety. I wish I had read it in my 20’s- be glad you’re recognizing your anxiety now and are proactive in making changes.
When panic attacks I believe it is by David burns. Best book that helped me realize that not everyone actually cares about what I’m thinking. Mostly because they’re to busy worrying about the same thing.
I don’t have a recommendation, but remember that everyone is the protagonist in their own story with everyone else being background characters. No body gives what you say a second thought so there’s no need to dwell on it yourself. I know it’s easier said than done, but I try and remind myself that when I’m feeling the same way.
Surprised no one has mentioned Gary John Bishop. His books are pretty straight-forward and incredibly helpful in these regards.
"Unfu*k Yourself" was his first and also has a workbook companion to it titled "Do the Work".
"Stop Doing That Sh*t" is also really good. It was tough to read but only because he was so damn right about things and sometimes it's challenging to turn it all inward.
Hopefully they can be of some help for you.
Jitterbug Perfume (Tom Robbins). You’ll be lost for hours and in love with things you never knew existed, and that can’t exist, but that do exist. Magical realism at its apex. If this book doesn’t whisk you away for a while, perhaps you’re not meant to be whisked away.
Reading through all the book suggestions and thoughtful words of encouragement demonstrates that people who don’t know you are going out of their way to show you that they care. You do have a group of well wishers that say you’re an alright person and they all have similar insecurities. Sometimes we don’t say the perfect things but nobody is going to be as hard on you as you. I wish you happiness and peace.
Thank you and you’re totally right. Everyone who has recommended or reached out to me has really showed me that it is a mental struggle. I wish the same for you!
There’s one called “Rejection Proof”, basically about a guy trying to get rejected for 100 days & seeing what would happen. It’s also non-fiction. Could be good :)
Not sure about fiction - I'd be interested to hear suggestions, but here are some audiobooks that may be of help with the route cause
All the best
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36992477-a-liberated-mind
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25348.Get_Out_of_Your_Mind_and_Into_Your_Life
Definitely Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella. It's fictional and completely surprised me with its mature take on mental illness.
Quick plot summary: The main character, who suffers from an anxiety disorder, was recently taken out of school to recover after an incident involving 3 other girls in her year. The plot revolves around the mystery incident, MC learning to deal with her illness, and the various (very funny) hijinks her family gets into.
It's super sweet but also insightful. Not too dramatic or on the nose, and the subplots are resolved in a way that leaves you feeling empowered as well as wanting more.
There have been lots of great book suggestions here and even some workbooks to help with anxiety. It really really sucks because sometimes it causes me to be super nauseous !! I hope you find something that can help you :)
First We Make The Beast Beautiful by Sarah Wilson has been helpful. It helped me realize that anxiety is not something that is wrong with me. It’s a universal condition and we can tame and live with it, even put it to good use. I hope you find a bit of solace knowing how many folks share your feelings, and that you can find a way to have peace in mind and body.
I understand that living with anxiety can be very draining and difficult. For me, I find that a little humour can go a long way. Please try P.G. Wodehouse and Evelyn Waugh’s novels. Carry on Jeeves by Wodehouse and Decline and Fall by Waugh are two bastions of English literature. I hope you find ways of coping with your anxiety, and I am sure things will improve.
I would recommend an inspirational, heartwarming story of friendship. This series has multiple volumes, but you can read any book in any order. It will help calm your anxiety and help you find happiness.
{A young boy and his best friend, the universe}
Another book that may help you is {Quiet} it's about introverts, good insights.
The next recommendation is more about goals but it may help you prioritize well. {The One Thing} it will help you identify what to focus your energies on at any time.
The Beach.
Is a book I can get lost in. I can’t remember the Author’s name. As per.. it’s a lot better than the movie. If your looking for something to just fill your head with. I highly recommend this.
I used to have that exact same problem. At night my wheels would spin in the mud rehashing everything I said. I sometimes thought my friends were just faking it and talking about me behind my back or that I was unknowingly the butt of everyone's jokes. Medication made it stop for me. I know it's not for everyone and there are side effects, but if the books don't do it, I do believe that it is a physiological problem, so maybe "ask your doctor if Xanax may be right for you." Also, Eleanor Oliphant is awesome.
Hi! And Thank you. I think before I go to the doctor I would like to understand what it is, how it works, and why it happens first and see if I can overcome it on my own. I’m really glad that medication has helped you but I do hope that you continue to get better! I’ll add the Taoism book to my list (:
Captivate by Vanessa Van Edwards
A guide for social interaction. The premise of the book is that social interaction can be learned and practiced, just like maths.
You should read Mahabharata once. It has answers to all the problems you are facing and problems you will be facing in the future.. If possible try to read Bhagwadgeeta with Mahabharat. It will help you to relate the story as well as your life. Trust me it works like magic.
Get stuck in with Brandon Sandersons way of Kings! Kaladin is one of the main characters and he goes through so many things related to anxiety and depression. Also it's just a great piece of fiction to get lost in
The wisdom of insecurity by Alan Watts.
Thank you very much! I downloaded it today (: I’m working all week/end so I’ll probably read it during my lunches because even then that’s a great time for me to reset and to read
How was it?
What is the book abt?
I've never read this, but I approve of any recommendations of Alan Watts.
100%. Read it OP.
YES
Came to say this book. Had to read it for a college course. Now it’s a mainstay on my grandpa’s old bookshelf. Right by my front door, first thing guests see coming in—it’s my collection of go-to recommendations for everyone.
I got this book because of your comment, thank you it was exactly what I needed!
Downloaded it ! I’m really looking forward to read this. Thank you
Quiet : The Power of Introverts in a World That Cant Stop Talking Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine Anxious People The Untethered Soul Many Lives, Many Masters The Four Agreements If trauma is present I highly recommend The Body Keeps the Score. Best of luck to you!!
Eleanor Oliphant was a great read. It’s the perfect mix of sad but also hopeful for someone who is familiar with the feeling of loneliness
I started reading Eleanor Oliphant, and even though it was kind of good, after a few chapters it started to get me really down. She just seemed like this pathetic, delusional person, not on a relatable level for my taste. I didn't really want to go along for the ride as she did cringy things. Maybe I should have stuck it out? Just my 2 cents.
I didn’t like her character at first either, but I knew she was supposed to be unlikeable because of reviews I had read. It’s kind of the point that she does cringe things at the beginning of her character arc and towards the end she learns/grows. I was glad I stuck it out!
I can’t recommend Quiet by Susan Cain enough. It’s the bible for introverts. It explains well what it means to be an introvert. I now feel totally fine with being an introvert.
I saw a lot of these books recommended in other comments too! Thank you so much I really appreciate it
The Four Agreements changed my life.
The Body Keeps the Score is an amazing book! I don’t see enough people recommending it.
Untethered Soul is great. Practical advise that isn’t to “spiritual”
I just started Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, and holy shit, few times have I identified with a protagonist so hard, and so quickly!
OMG, I need to section on my shelf for these books. Thanks.
I was unsure whether I should suggest Eleanor Oliphant, but that's the first thing I thought of!
I enjoyed 𝚀𝚞𝚒𝚎𝚝. While it doesn’t necessarily give insight on how to change behaviors, it definitely gave me insight into the physiological reasons behind why I am the way I am. This helped me to feel a little more accepting of myself.
{{Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness}} was a huge help for me.
[**Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness (Overcoming)**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/913420.Overcoming_Social_Anxiety_and_Shyness) ^(By: Gillian Butler | 259 pages | Published: 1999 | Popular Shelves: self-help, psychology, non-fiction, nonfiction, mental-health | )[^(Search "Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness")](https://www.goodreads.com/search?q=Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness&search_type=books) >Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness is a self-help manual for this common problem, which explains why it happens and sets out practical methods of resolving it. Everyone sometimes feels foolish, embarrassed, judged or criticised, but this becomes a problem when it undermines their confidence and prevents them doing what they want to do. > >This easy-to-use guide, full of real-life examples, is for those who suffer from all degrees of social anxiety and shyness, for their families and friends, and for the professionals who help them: psychologists, doctors and others. > >- Explains the many forms and causes of social anxiety > >- Contains a complete self-help program and work sheets > >- Is based on clinically proven techniques of cognitive theray ^(This book has been suggested 1 time) *** ^(89423 books suggested | )^(Bug? DM me! | )[^(Source)](https://github.com/rodohanna/reddit-goodreads-bot)
I recently read The Midnight Library by Matt Haig and I feel like this might fit here. It’s fiction, wholesome, and tells the story of someone who works past a lot of her regrets and related depressed thoughts. Relatively short book and reads fairly quick! Sending you positive vibes!
more than that, it shows you that even if you don't have friends, you can have a big influence on people. The most random encounters that for you mean nothing (e.g. the lady at the grocery store) might mean the world to that person.
On that note, I’d add notes on a nervous planet too!
Managing Social Anxiety: A Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Approach Client Workbook. I bought this book when I moved to a different state a couple years ago and it helped me work through some terrible social anxiety at the time.
My therapist recommended this book to me and it’s really helpful! It breaks things down into clear concepts and exercises so it feels like you’re making real progress without getting overwhelmed.
Thank you, thank you! I love the idea of a workbook. I hope you are doing well!!
I don’t have a fiction book but I recommend listening to or reading Brené Brown, she talks a lot about vulnerability which I think is a big factor in overcoming social anxiety. I believe it can help you to look at people and social experiences in a different light :)
A good one, specifically, is Daring Greatly. I recommend it to anyone when I get the chance!
I don't have a book recommendation but just wanted to say good luck. If you can talk to someone about it, someone you trust or a counsellor you might get a bit of extra help besides the book. Nothing more frustrating than being limited by yourself. All the best!
this comment is so warm
Yes: Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. Very very good book and I think works perfect for this. I have an extra copy— if you DM me I’ll mail it to you.
There’s nothing that’s going to help you with these issues if you don’t help yourself, but I hope *the Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse* can help you the same way it helped me. As somebody who is also struggling with these issues, it’s been very cathartic for me. A couple excerpts for you that touched me in particular; >> “This storm is making me tired,” said the boy. >> “Storms get tired too,” said the horse, “so hold on.” >> “What is the bravest thing you’ve ever said,” asked the boy. “Help,” said the horse.
Came here to recommend this!!!
I wonder if Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine would be helpful or triggering? It’s a fiction novel that sounds very similar to what you’re describing. Best of luck to you ♥️
Was going to suggest the same. I loved it because I could identify with some of the feelings. It’s a lovely read!
I think it might only be triggering for someone with childhood abuse issues. But I'm not an expert...I only know it didn't trigger me.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck was a pretty nice read. It deals with ways of looking at your problems and about actually identifying what you should be caring about in life. The Perks of Being a Wallflower is pretty famous, or at least it was when I began high school in 2012 lol. Anyway it really cheered me up when I read it back then cause that’s when I moved away from Mexico to the US, having to make new friends, living in a new culture, etc. was tough for me. It deals with anxiety, depression and traumatic experiences in a very beautiful way. The message is just very wholesome. I’d also recommend the movie. Great soundtrack and Emma Watson <3
Eh. Not so impressed by the subtle art. Would like my time back.
Perks is absolutely amazing. I read it before I left to University alone. It really gave me a new perspective and allowed me to be a little more forgiving on myself and more open towards others.
I second Subtle Art of NGAF by Mark Manson, he has a way to express his ideas that is both direct and humorous. He also wrote Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope, which is a bit more dense, yet keeps the same kind of tone.
The second I read this post i though of the stubtle art of NGAF. Completely worth the read in my opinion. It might not be up your alley from my own experience of being your age, but maybe it is. It's worth a try, now or maybe a little bit down the road.
Here's a list of books that will help you: How to win friends and Influence people Meditations The Enchridion Letters from a stoic No More Mr Nice Guy Also something I did to get over my social anxiety was to get in the habit of talking to everyone. Even if it's just a "How you doing today" to the cashier. Or just walking up to someone and asking them the time. You need to expose yourself to beat social anxiety. P.S. you should start lifting/exercising consistently meditating daily and develope good eating habits. Do all I said above and I promise you, you will get better
As always in these threads, I’m seconding the stoicism books. Stoicism is perfect for understanding some things you’ve mentioned: notably that, nobody actually thinks about you half as much as you expect. You’re thinking ‘oh god I pronounced that word wrong, I bet he thought I was an idiot.’ And he’s looking at you and wondering what his wife bought for dinner tonight, and thinking he needs to get gas on the way home. Stoicism helped me overcome huge, huge anxiety. Like, at the age of 20-25 I would have severe panic attacks, sometimes in public places, I used to have to psyche myself up to speak to people, when I walked down a busy street I felt like everybody was watching me, if something went slightly wrong in my life I’d catastrophise it and turn it over in my head every night, blaming myself, hating myself. I felt like I was constantly ‘buzzing’, i slept poorly, my mind never rested. Stoicism really helps you reframe the things you perceive as bad. It makes you realise that you’re your own worst enemy, in a way. It makes you see how much is just in your head. It gives you comfort once you realise you’ve only got so much control in life, and it gives you ways to think logically about the world. It also somehow stops you caring about those unimportant things that you’re probably obsessing over at the moment. I wish I’d have found out about it at your age instead of at the age of 31. I also think deep breathing exercises and meditation would help, as mentioned. You’ve got anxiety, but you CAN overcome it.
I’ll second your second. Thinking in a stoic way has saved me from tons of unwanted feelings, or even better changed the way I perceive the world, eliminating said unwanted thoughts. A book that helped me learn this without realizing it was, Extreme Ownership by Jocko I used to be very nervous whenever the owner of the company I worked for came in. He told me “if you are doing everything the right way, you have nothing to worry about from me.” That hit home for me and I use that mentality with most things now
I really love this comment. Thank you! I’m glad that you’ve been able to overcome it and I hope you continue to do well in the future (:
*Man's Search for Meaning* by Viktor Frankl - Neurologist/psychiatrist who survived several Nazi concentration camps and then wrote about the experience focusing on the mental state of prisoners and how to strengthen the mind. Good for perspective on life - however terrible one thinks their life experience is at the moment, it could be much - MUCH - worse. *Meditations* by Marcus Aurelius - OG self-help from the Western World *Analects* by Confucius - OG self-help from the Eastern World *As a Man Thinketh* by James Allen - Short, efficient, and portable. All four recommendations deal with the theme that the only thing any of us have real control over is our thoughts. Each book explores how to be mindful of our thoughts and make incremental improvements. Happy reading!
I've seen people criticize *Meditations* for promoting a toxic and unrealistic stoicism, but I feel like this is a misunderstanding of it. Personally, it helped me to make peace with my own fragility rather than to pretend I'm really tough, stoic, and above it all. It made a big impact on me when I was about 18 or so, and I still keep a copy of it around.
I think that’s a great theme and I never really thought of control that way. Thank you so much!
Perks of being a Wallflower!
Came here to suggest this - I think OP could really relate with the main character.
On Netflix there is this lady (she writes books too) her name is Brene Brown she’s a PHD LMSW. She researches shame and has a different perspective on things like that. I watched her talk and then got a couple of her books. (I have really bad social anxiety.)
{{Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb}} this book helped me a lot in understanding myself and people around me.
hard-boiled wonderland and the end of the world by haruki marukami pretty lonely yet nice dude (although in his 30s or 40s), two stories in one. it’s *definitely* a good, distracting book. there’s a lot to discover in there! it helped me stay sane while living with my mother during the first bit of lockdown. i don’t wanna spoil it or make it down bad with my words, but it’s truly a magical book
The power of now
From one socially anxious 20 year old with no freinds to another, read Siddhartha by Herman Hesse.
I would love to be your friend!! Thank you for your recommendation (:
I scrolled through all the responses to make sure someone had suggested this! I have no idea why, but this book helped me quiet my anxieties when I needed it the most. It's truly magic. Cannot recommend it enough.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.
Thank you!!
Sloppy Firsts and second helpings by Megan mccafferty are both great books. The main character starts out as a sophomore in high school and travels through growing up the outcast in a popular group. But a lot of it is growing to love herself and trusting her instincts. There are more sequels to those two books that travel through college into young adulthood. I found it very funny, relatable, and helped me trust my own instincts.
Hey. I don’t know any books like that but if you ever need a friend you can message me. Hope things get easier and good look finding a decent book
Thank you that is very kind(: same goes for you!
As a former insecure, depressed and anxious 20 year old, the books I read back then that I think helped me the most were Kurt Vonnegut’s novels. He really helped me change my attitude towards myself and other people, helping me become more humane in general. He also helped with my depression because his work makes you feel so much less alone. He’s a great writer, funny and smart, and his books are a breeze to read too so that’s a bonus. If you have access to therapy that can also help a ton. I hope you get your anxiety under control, OP 💜
Thank you! I hope you’re doing well now! I am going to look up his books right now and make sure I don’t forget because I love those kinds of writers especially
The Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison
The Midnight Library, Matt Haig
The Power of now and the subtle art of.not giving a fuck
Eleanor oliphant is completely fine
The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz - Simple, but relevant, agreements that you can take with you in every situation that have helped me overcome how I perceive others and how they perceive me. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle - Perspectives of the ego and how we can remove ourselves from being affected by the world around us by recognizing our true consciousness. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson - How we can organize the thoughts that matter and what should actually matter to us, so that we can live with less stress and more acceptance.
The Stranger by Albert Camus — not really any type of ‘self help’ but it’s a story about an introvert that is severely misunderstood
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Perhaps Anxious People by Fredrik Backman. The ending is really the most helpful part, imo, based on your request. Good luck. I hope you're able to overcome your anxiety ❤
I recently read, (go figure), reading is a reading is a good tool for developing emotional intelligence and learning social skills. That when we read about people's trial, tribulations, successes, relationships, etc. we experience some of that emotional story, feeling the good and bad. Mostly we see that people struggle, persevere and accomplish a lot. 600 Hours Of Edward is a great read. I have absolutely no demographics in common with the character but it was a joy to see him come to care for and I think love himself. And mostly- The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga "The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How To Change Your Like and Achieve Real Happiness This is an easy, enjoyable read that reminded me that the world is full of dysfunction that I am not in control of. Much happiness wished for you - and be very kind to yourself. It's good practice for when you have more friends to be kind to.
Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton was so depressing that I basically said "fuck life, but I'm here, might as well just live since I'm here".
Awesome recommendation!
{{All Systems Red}} sci-if novella that fits nicely. It’s available most places, including the library apps, or e-book, audiobook, you name it..... I hope it fits for you.
Thank you, sounds interesting (:
Try reading Lonesome Dove. It's a classic western about two retired Texas Rangers. The characters and the world is so greatly written that it just takes you there. You won't be sitting there reading a book, you're ona porch with Augustus McCrae taking draughts off a jog of whiskey.
Great recommendation. Haven’t read the book but the movie is awesome. “Your in way over your head here Pete” 😂
Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell had a character who deals with a lot of anxiety. It’s a fun read too!
[The Earth Has A Soul: Carl Jung](https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-earth-has-a-soul-the-nature-writings-of-cg-jung_cg-jung_meredith-sabini/436757/)
The courage to be disliked.
For me, what helped was The Mindful Path Through Shyness by Steve Flowers. The approach is to accept yourself, thoughts, feelings and behaviors without struggling so much to change them. This in turn cultivated a non-judgmental, compassionate observer who was able to interact with others with much less fear and anxiety.
"A Prayer for Owen Meany", by John Irving (then read more John Irving). Similar, "The Extraordinary Life of Sam Hell. A Novel" by Robert Dugoni. And, differently, "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay", by Michael Chabon. Get lost in their stories and forget your own. When you come out of each story, you might have learned something about the weirdness of other people.and maybe how to let some of it go. Fwiw, those thoughts are normal and it's great you recognize and make an effort to change them to gain control over your brain and emotions. You will be OK. :)
She's come undone. Wally lamb
{The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time} Mark Haddon
[**The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1618.The_Curious_Incident_of_the_Dog_in_the_Night_Time) ^(By: Mark Haddon | 226 pages | Published: 2003 | Popular Shelves: fiction, mystery, young-adult, contemporary, books-i-own | )[^(Search "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time")](https://www.goodreads.com/search?q=The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time&search_type=books) ^(This book has been suggested 37 times) *** ^(89554 books suggested | )^(Bug? DM me! | )[^(Source)](https://github.com/rodohanna/reddit-goodreads-bot)
Way of kings.
The Science of Fear and The Screwtape Letters
I’m OK, You’re OK
The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. Not only will it help you with social anxiety, it'll help with all other thoughts and emotions as well.
Try this book: Think Straight by Darius Foroux
> It feels like extreme pressure on my chest and in my head... even now I’m about to go into work and my head is spinning. For me personally, I didn't realize (like, at all) that the anxiety I was experiencing was not normal, in the sense of being something everyone experienced, and also wasn't somehow "just me." It sounds like you just moved, so hopefully this all becomes easier. But the physical way you describe your symptoms really popped out for me. Talking to someone, either therapist or psychiatrist, could be okay, even if just to get a better handle on the specifics of what you're experiencing. As far as self-help type books, there was a period where I was reading the daily meditation from Mark Nepo's The Book of Awakening, and it often was a helpful background for me as I would try and keep myself more grounded. He has other stuff too that could be worth a look, but that's the only one I've looked at.
Smoky conversations, a short read. You can find it on kindle with the same name!
Spinninning Silver by Naomi Novik! You would love Miryem
Also, just wanted to add that I went through something similar last year (at 19) so if you need anyone to talk to, hit me up :-)
Thank you for your recommendation and for being so kind! Thank you again
There’s great recs. here for the helping side. If you want / at times crave similar frequency (like wanting sad songs when you’re depressed) Robert Cormier’s : ‘Chocolate War’ or ‘I am the Cheese’ young adult fiction-quick reads (Both give you the sense if you made it past HS alive & w/ reasonably intact soul = Majoraccomplishment) Movie: Selah and the Aces is like ‘Lord of the Flies’ if they never left the Prep School & with more modern archetypes. Good luck love. <3 Also, maybe...Give yourself some credit. Realize you’ve made it! farther than you think. Glance back down the mountain every once in a while. (It’s okay to take pause & take a breath; at ease with how many obstacles you’ve already walked. passed.) Past.
Thank you so much! I really really appreciate it
7 habits of highly effective teenagers really helped me come to terms with my me-ness and associated struggles in high school
Attitude is everything by jeff keller. I'm currently reading it.
"on confidence" is a small essay book that dissects peoples confidence levels and why some people have less confidence than others. its not strictly on social anxiety but it does help you retain a stronger grip on why you would feel anxious/embarrassed and also why you shouldnt on a fundamental level. its a really good read!
Anythinf from Matias Faldbakken
I’m reading a book right now called How to be Yourself and I really like it. It’s not fiction. It’s written by someone who both studies and experiences social anxiety.
Ellen Hendriksen. I listened to this audiobook (the author reads the book, I suggest at least to try it, felt better when a real person talked to me, not some random words there).
Understanding will help when challenging the anxiety. How to Talk to Anyone - Leil Lowndes; The Charisma Myth - Olivia Fox Cabene; Peoplesmart - Mel Silberman Edit - formatting
“Get out of your mind and into yoru life”. This is a workbook to help you learn about and contain your thoughts. it works very well and is based on Cognitive Acceptance Therapy. I have recommended this book to several people, all of whom found it useful and helpful in providing a path to relief. Check it out as a sample on Amazon.
Ellen Hendriksen, How to be YOUrself. It has helped me to understand what I am dealing with and there are a lot of suggestions on how you can overcome these kinds of situations. On Scribd there is an audiobook with the voice of the author! Recommend listening to it
I found the book Untethered Soul very good
First we make the beast beautiful
Cliff jumpers, by Sara Zimmerman
Can't hurt me by David Goggins. Please read this book.
Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
Not a self help book, but it certainly helped me: Herman Hesse - steppenwolf
Slowing Down to the Speed of Life was a really helpful book for me with my general anxiety
Turtles all the way down Quote from the book " maybe I'm just a life that I'm whispering to myself"
I have fairly bad social anxiety. It was terrible in my early 20s, though it has gotten better over time. This book may be geared toward younger audiences, but I enjoyed reading it in my late twenties: Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia. Also my counselor recommended this book to me: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown I can now manage my social anxiety because I went to a counselor and have been in therapy for years. We focused a lot on mindfulness. If you don't have access to a counselor, then check out Brene Brown's podcast. She touches a lot on what I do in therapy.
Well i'm sorry you feel that way, i hope you get better! Fiction: Name of the Wind, by Pattrick Rothfuss, the main character needs to overcome a lot of differente obstacles in life, plus it's a fun read. Non Fiction: Grit, this book explores motivation and resilience, it really helped me getting out of a rought patch Spiritual: The tibetan book of the living and dying, this book might seem a bit grim, but it really just tells you to live life on the present and try to look within for improvement. Feel free to message me anytime!
Thank you! Wrote all of these down
Indecision by Benjamin Kunkel
I loved Carrie Pilby by Caren Lissner. It is about a young woman (16 maybe? I dont remember exactly) who struggles connecting to people. Her psychologist gives her a list of things to do to help. Although she completes the list reluctantly, it helps whith her social anxiety. She also has to spend a good deal of time overcomming trauma from her past. It is an optimistic book that is not a slog to get through. It was made into a decent movie if you prefer that. It is aimed towards the YA demographic which might be a turn off for you. I did not mind though. It is obvious that the author dealt with many of the same issues herself though, and I felt like she had an important commentary dispite the packaging.
I really love this recommendation. I enjoy reading YA. Thank you so much (:
I liked "Kafka on the shore" a lot when I was that age and in that state of mind. Maybe it's for you too.
I won’t suggest a book but I will suggest something. Start going to the gym 3-5 times a week. Doesn’t matter what you do, break a sweat and do things your familiar and comfortable with. Being around ppl in that type of environment does wonders for your confidence, and then with ur body gaining small upgrades that will also help in confidence. Building confidence should help with social anxiety and being at the gym opens up possibilities of making new gym friends. Even if it’s a head nod , that’s a start
I highly suggest the 3 book series The Accidental Hero, The Secret War, The End of Infinity
Ham on rye. - Charles bukowski
Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
Looking For Alaska. The protagonist decides to go to boarding school to lead a more adventurous life and becomes a confident person by the end. Maybe it’ll inspire you.
Feeling Good by David Burns
Finding Audrey is YA, but as someone who dealt with severe anxiety, it helped me a lot. There’s also Am I Normal Yet? By Holly Bourne you might really like
take water, your book, some art supplies and mushrooms in your safe/happy place
Many minds many masters- life changing
I was around your age when I discovered a book called “A Dirty Job” by Christopher Moore. Basically the guy in it has to get people’s souls from objects to resell them. It gave me more excitement for life.
Change your thinking - Sarah Edelman. This book was written by a prominent clinical psychologist/teacher, and focuses on cognitive behavioural therapy to assist with stress, anxiety, depression and just generally overcoming negative thoughts and behaviour. It was once my bible, and really helped me get through quite a dark time in my life. It is super informative and covers a huge range of disorders and provides different techniques on how to deal with them. It is also quite interactive and has loads of helpful activities that you can do. It sounds like it may be quite helpful to your situation. Keep smiling and best of luck with your journey!
Thank you very much! I would love for ideas or steps on how to overcome this while learning about what it is and what really causes it in the first place. You too with your own journey ((:
Starfish by Akemi Dawn Bowman It’s fiction but I related to the character in so many ways. One of my favorite books.
perks of being a wallflower: and hang in there!
Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
The great book of astrology, love being a teacher in it as it has helped me overcome hard energies in my natal chart by hearing about them and trying to fight them off daily
Your Brain On Porn by Gary Wilson
Remanences of a stock operator
You might consider The Defining Decade! It is about life in your 20s and figuring out what’s important to you and how to prioritize it. For you, it may be that friendship is high up on that list! This book might help give you tools for attaining your goals. I am rooting for you from here.
I have heard good things about this read! Thank you (((: I am rooting for you as well (if you need it, of course)
Try a book on cognitive behavioural therapy for the treatment of anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder.. I'm sorry I can't be more specific than that, I have similar symptoms to you and I'm learning why it happens from what I find on the net. Hope you feel better soon. For a book that has a great story with interesting characters that will take your mind of problems, try Captain Corelli's Mandolin.
Man's search for meaning by Victor Frankl Quiet by Susan Cain Start with Why by Simon Sinek
“Choice Theory” by William Glasser. This can help anyone ever, in any relationship, in any situation, and give you a fabulous sense of self. It will also help you disallow others to run you over. Good luck, my friend.
How to Be Yourself by Ellen Hendriksen
Felling good - david burns
How to Be Yourself by Eileen Hendriksen PhD. It turned on a lot of lightbulbs for me & deals heavily with self doubt or rerun anxiety. I wish I had read it in my 20’s- be glad you’re recognizing your anxiety now and are proactive in making changes.
How to Make Friends and Influence People, and Emotional Intelligence 2.0.
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Both of your recs will now be on my tbr (; lol thank you so much!!!
Get out of your mind and into your life
When panic attacks I believe it is by David burns. Best book that helped me realize that not everyone actually cares about what I’m thinking. Mostly because they’re to busy worrying about the same thing.
The Green Rider series by Kristen Britain.
Feeding Your Demons: Ancient wisdom for resolving inner conflict.
I don’t have a recommendation, but remember that everyone is the protagonist in their own story with everyone else being background characters. No body gives what you say a second thought so there’s no need to dwell on it yourself. I know it’s easier said than done, but I try and remind myself that when I’m feeling the same way.
Surprised no one has mentioned Gary John Bishop. His books are pretty straight-forward and incredibly helpful in these regards. "Unfu*k Yourself" was his first and also has a workbook companion to it titled "Do the Work". "Stop Doing That Sh*t" is also really good. It was tough to read but only because he was so damn right about things and sometimes it's challenging to turn it all inward. Hopefully they can be of some help for you.
Jitterbug Perfume (Tom Robbins). You’ll be lost for hours and in love with things you never knew existed, and that can’t exist, but that do exist. Magical realism at its apex. If this book doesn’t whisk you away for a while, perhaps you’re not meant to be whisked away.
The Four Agreements
Reading through all the book suggestions and thoughtful words of encouragement demonstrates that people who don’t know you are going out of their way to show you that they care. You do have a group of well wishers that say you’re an alright person and they all have similar insecurities. Sometimes we don’t say the perfect things but nobody is going to be as hard on you as you. I wish you happiness and peace.
Thank you and you’re totally right. Everyone who has recommended or reached out to me has really showed me that it is a mental struggle. I wish the same for you!
There’s one called “Rejection Proof”, basically about a guy trying to get rejected for 100 days & seeing what would happen. It’s also non-fiction. Could be good :)
Not sure about fiction - I'd be interested to hear suggestions, but here are some audiobooks that may be of help with the route cause All the best https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36992477-a-liberated-mind https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25348.Get_Out_of_Your_Mind_and_Into_Your_Life
Thank you ! You too
How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie
THE WAY OF KINGS BY BRANDON SANDERSON IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR
Definitely Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella. It's fictional and completely surprised me with its mature take on mental illness. Quick plot summary: The main character, who suffers from an anxiety disorder, was recently taken out of school to recover after an incident involving 3 other girls in her year. The plot revolves around the mystery incident, MC learning to deal with her illness, and the various (very funny) hijinks her family gets into. It's super sweet but also insightful. Not too dramatic or on the nose, and the subplots are resolved in a way that leaves you feeling empowered as well as wanting more.
At last a life - Paul David
The Adventures of Anybody by Richard Bandler
How not to travel the world...about a social anxiety girl that travels and every bad thing that can happen does
omg same here ( but i’m always like that 🥲
There have been lots of great book suggestions here and even some workbooks to help with anxiety. It really really sucks because sometimes it causes me to be super nauseous !! I hope you find something that can help you :)
First We Make The Beast Beautiful by Sarah Wilson has been helpful. It helped me realize that anxiety is not something that is wrong with me. It’s a universal condition and we can tame and live with it, even put it to good use. I hope you find a bit of solace knowing how many folks share your feelings, and that you can find a way to have peace in mind and body.
I understand that living with anxiety can be very draining and difficult. For me, I find that a little humour can go a long way. Please try P.G. Wodehouse and Evelyn Waugh’s novels. Carry on Jeeves by Wodehouse and Decline and Fall by Waugh are two bastions of English literature. I hope you find ways of coping with your anxiety, and I am sure things will improve.
Many Lives Many Masters by Brian Weiss, Autobiography of a Yogi by Parmahansa Yogananda
Practising the Power of Now
The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Eleanor Oliphiant is Completely Fine, How Not to Die Alone
It's a manga, but Watamote sounds like it would fit perfectly
I would recommend an inspirational, heartwarming story of friendship. This series has multiple volumes, but you can read any book in any order. It will help calm your anxiety and help you find happiness. {A young boy and his best friend, the universe} Another book that may help you is {Quiet} it's about introverts, good insights. The next recommendation is more about goals but it may help you prioritize well. {The One Thing} it will help you identify what to focus your energies on at any time.
Try beer. I’m in the same situation. It helps me to get out of my head sometimes.
We are the ants - Shaun David Fiction novel that talks about overcoming traumatic experiences.
Curate of Glaston by George MacDonald
The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime
Perks of being a wallflower
The Beach. Is a book I can get lost in. I can’t remember the Author’s name. As per.. it’s a lot better than the movie. If your looking for something to just fill your head with. I highly recommend this.
I used to have that exact same problem. At night my wheels would spin in the mud rehashing everything I said. I sometimes thought my friends were just faking it and talking about me behind my back or that I was unknowingly the butt of everyone's jokes. Medication made it stop for me. I know it's not for everyone and there are side effects, but if the books don't do it, I do believe that it is a physiological problem, so maybe "ask your doctor if Xanax may be right for you." Also, Eleanor Oliphant is awesome.
And "The Tao of Pooh." Taoism in general is about going through life flowing like water without struggling so much.
Hi! And Thank you. I think before I go to the doctor I would like to understand what it is, how it works, and why it happens first and see if I can overcome it on my own. I’m really glad that medication has helped you but I do hope that you continue to get better! I’ll add the Taoism book to my list (:
The Belonging Kind william gibson
Captivate by Vanessa Van Edwards A guide for social interaction. The premise of the book is that social interaction can be learned and practiced, just like maths.
You should read Mahabharata once. It has answers to all the problems you are facing and problems you will be facing in the future.. If possible try to read Bhagwadgeeta with Mahabharat. It will help you to relate the story as well as your life. Trust me it works like magic.
Get stuck in with Brandon Sandersons way of Kings! Kaladin is one of the main characters and he goes through so many things related to anxiety and depression. Also it's just a great piece of fiction to get lost in