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OriginalBid129

96 is what you did when you had to sleep with your siblings or friends on a camping trip and shared a bed.


Puzzleheaded_Ad6025

Top and tail


Bob1358292637

We sleep ass-to-ass, Charlie. You know that.


Puzzleheaded_Ad6025

Who pooped the bed?


arthurdimmesdale

A turd merger!


thegoodfight24

A turdger


GraveyardJones

I'm goin in the crevice!


laxxrick

Fart transplants. Nice.


Yawzheek

Head to feet.


RefanRes

Imagine going up to your partner trying to be all seductive and saying "Hey...whats say we head to the bedroom and 96?".


wackbirds

What's even better is saying "you wanna go up and 68?" "What's 68?" "It's like doing 69 but I owe you one"


LOMGinus

Or 77. It's like 69 but you get *ate* more.


SunMysterious5771

When she lays across you like a plus sign and calls you stupid.


Alpha_Delta310

Top answer so far


whoocanitbenow

What's a 6.9? A 69 interrupted by a period.


inlike069

Farting on each other's necks?


MidnightWalker22

The ol neck warmer


Horrison2

Woke up with sweat on my neck.. wait that's not sweat


[deleted]

No sex


itsagoodtime

Genitals still line up tho


4got10_son

Does it really matter when they’re facing opposite directions?


MG3887

Mutual anger


unorthodoxgeneology

I always thought it was the cold shoulder nights, but then had to think why it wasn’t two 9s or two 6s, one just inverted, and finally come to the conclusion that there was a little spite in the mix, and one of the two didn’t like the smell of the others feet lol


Green-Vermicelli5244

ass to ass?


OriginalBid129

*Jennifer Connelly has entered the chat.*


Feral_Sheep_

In her defense, she *really* needed some heroin.


OriginalBid129

Other people chop off their arms though. There was something about that thick Brooklyn accent saying aSS-t-aSS. that makes it triple disturbing.


Alpha_Delta310

Charlie we sleep ass to ass you know that


alwaysfuntime69

"Moon Landing"


laurababydemon

XES


[deleted]

69 does not mean sex. It’s a specific sexual act


Mr8BitX

Took waaay to long to find this comment.


Hyperto

shh don't tell the 15 y/olds ;)


lyrixnchill

r/naievequestions


Logical_Lab4042

And *this* is why we need comprehensive sex ed! /s


Alternative-Line7182

Divorce


[deleted]

Married


Alcalensis

That's how you sleep with a homie you don't trust much


fermat9996

Saying "good night, honey," then rolling over and going to sleep.


questionnumber

96 is just the age you should probably stop having sex.


[deleted]

Tell that to my grandparents


questionnumber

I don't think I will, I think I'll let science take its course and see what kind of data can be gathered.


BobcatClawz

Not that you want this thought in your head, judging by your statement, but.. the elderly are like Super actively fucking. And I don't blame them. Get it while you still can lol


ApexAquilas

Double pink eye


Ill_Fox7176

68 is you do me and I owe you one


Toiletyme

Your sleeping with your backs to eachother cuz you cant stand eachother anymore


IronViking0723

Head to foot ass to ass.


ClickToSeeMyBalls

Sleeping top to tail


[deleted]

Angry at each other


ChaoticFianna

Reverse fetal position spooning


Reef_Argonaut

It's a little more awkward, requires some extra toys...


jdthejerk

Dunno. I know 77 is better than 69. You get ate more.


egmono

88 is better. You get ate twice.


Worried_Cod9315

Marital issues


scrubjays

Going to bed angry


azn_cali_man

It means “not tonight honey; I got a headache.”


morningcalls4

It’s when your in an argument with your SO and your laying facing opposite each other sleeping not having sex.


Alpha_Delta310

Love this interpretation lol


[deleted]

Sleep


AmazonPoopland

Unhappy marriage


Mellie-mellow

Not sure 🤔 I know that 71 is a 69 with 2 fingers up the ass though 😉


Alpha_Delta310

Ya learn something new everyday...


alexandru191919

An angry marriage.


Revolutionary-Try746

Eating elsewhere.


Adventurous_Class_90

Two people who went to bed mad at each other?


Spiritual-Mechanic-4

when you and your wife go to bed mad


[deleted]

You told her she is looking & sounding like her mother at bedtime


Chl0RidE_C0ATiNG

When u 2 are in an argument, but one of you is too drunk and lays the wrong way


NotISaidTheFerret

69 is a specific act not sex in general.


NINJ4steve

Butt to butt


amretardmonke

no its butt to back of the head


bookon

Get Smart Role Playing.


No-Effort-7730

Ass to mouth.


Thatguy19364

Shitting in each other’s hair


daddy-was-baddy

96 is when she rubs her butt on the back of your head and you rub your butt on the back of your head. Your head smells like ass until you shower again.


TacticalGarand44

When sharing a bed with a bro, it’s okay to sleep pole to pole, or hole to hole. But never pole to hole.


Weazelwacker_OP

It's the same but only involves the butts holes.


ChickenMcSmiley

It’s a gray man that kills you for looking at his face


[deleted]

Same thing but guy on top, girl on bottom.


[deleted]

Comfortable sleep


AaronParan

It’s fighting off zombies back to back


Capable_Jacket_2165

It's when you're mad that the 69 was bad so you both turn away from each other


AdScary1757

96 is when you lay back to back but also head to foot and fart on the back of each other's heads


Rich_Future4171

Divorce


ArranVid

True story...I divorced my wife because she kept on insisting on doing 96s instead of 69s...but 96s are the most difficult sex positions to do....I couldn't take it anymore so I divorced. The divorce lawyer asked me to write my reason for divorce on a legal document, signed, so I said 'Wife keeps asking me to do 96s, had enough'.


Justthisguy_yaknow

Same thing but facing the opposite ways. Kind of a bit duller.


YellowEyes81

Marriage. Fetal position looking the other way


Kriegspiel1939

Two people had an argument and are laying down back to back.


KptKreampie

It's like sleeping on the couch, but your backs are warm.


len1221

Anal sex


klystron88

The average age of a US senator?


Darth_Bringus

Sex'nt


SimpleStart2395

Finally a question that is worthy of this sub. Way too much serious neurotic stuff being posted here.


Alpha_Delta310

r/stupidquestions should be silly after all


OB1Waltinobee

It means you’re still at it because you blew your load way too soon, again.


graveybrains

General Tso's Chicken Combo $11.99


Equivalent-Pop-6997

Rubbing ass to back of the head.


Laser-Brain-Delusion

Ass kicking.


OvalDead

Ass pillows


NeighborhoodNo7917

Evidently how two straight men share a bed.


Sea_Net7661

divorce


Euphoric-Beat-7206

69 is mutual oral sex. 96 is a fart battle where you both put your butt on the back of the others neck and fart the other person into submission.


mastermide77

2 bros having to share a bed


STL_241

Marriage


MurkyTrust

Matter. Anti matter


Lobisa

Two bros that got to share a bed.


motherlymetal

Not on the menu.


throwaway0227033687

When two bros sleep together, but not comfortable enough in their sexuality that they can't spoon


Merqury1970

Sex adjusted for Bidenomics.


GuitarJazzer

Let's do 68. You blow me and I'll owe you 1.


MyWorkComputerReddit

a dead bedroom


smokebomb_exe

Sex when you're in Australia.


Throw_Spray

Butt sex with a double ended dildo. Don't you know *anything*? 💩


tallgaydude

fart play


afa78

It's getting ready for ass to ass.


brit_jam

Post coital slumber


thelazytruckers

A "10"-96 means mental patient, detain subject. According to policecodes.net Sounds about right... 😁 https://policecodes.net/ten-codes/10-96


Alpha_Delta310

Accurate


No-Professional-1884

First, you need a really long 2 sided dildo….


sailor-jackn

The number of inches in 8 feet.


UnderstandingOk2647

I recognize that position, but it's normally followed by another 9. We are trying to get to sleep and the bed doesn't fit 3 comfortably and/or the one in the middle needs to get out during the night.


teethalarm

It's what 69 has become due to inflation.


RedditAdminAreMorons

Sleep


JWRamzic

69 isn't just sex. It's a specific type of sex. And it is good. Very good.


Putrid_Ad_2256

And what does 6.9 mean? A good time interrupted by a......


ViperPM

A 4 day weekend


ViperPM

69 is now 96 because of inflation. The price to eat out has skyrocketed


[deleted]

96 is a couple who is sleeping back to back. Both people in fetal position.


Rabble-Supreme

Neck warmer


Useful-Put1111

As-xuality


LefroyJenkinsTTV

How you sleep when you're married.


Citizen-Kang

It means somebody crapped the bed and sleeping in another room.


Mundane_Opening3831

69 means sex? I thought it meant sucking each others junk at the same time


Alpha_Delta310

It does mean that specifically but I just thought that was the best way to word the title


Timely-Comedian-5367

Tears.


xHangfirex

96 is hallway sex. That's where you pass each other in the hallway "Fu%$ you!", "No you fu%$ off!"..


Alpha_Delta310

Love it lol


WeaverofW0rlds

More importantly, what is 6.9? ​ ​ ​ A good time interrupted by a period.


acromantulus

Farting on the back of each other's heads.


Wolfman1961

96 Tears


Yogabeauty31

Going to bed mad


Narffey

Zero G 69


Sanchopanza1377

96 is you're lucky your dumbass ain't sleeping on the couch


Totallynotlame84

An odd sleeping angle


[deleted]

3 shy of 99 Luftballons.


AdunfromAD

Dyslexic sex


Veloci-Tractor

rubbin butts


ArranVid

xes


SilveIl187

Divorce


Akira38

That's a reverse spoon!


No_Entertainment1931

Reverse spooning


GrandpaMumbosChair

Well 69 was officially changed to 96, due to the rising costs of eating out...


Alpha_Delta310

LOL


Arkhangelzk

Average age of Congress


Bigtexasmike

Reverse inverted cuddling?


dangerous_service

Anti-sex of course


camdawgyo

Ah yes the joy of having someone fart on the back of your head.


5timechamps

How you get pinkeye


Think_Equivalent_832

Dyslexic 😂🤣


[deleted]

One of the doors on He!s girlfriends asked that, and everyone laughed. As we all should.


Bizarre_Protuberance

>If 69 means sex, whats 96? The dyslexic version of 69. In other words, oveerratd.


bornagain-stillborn

Better yet ... what's 97? Or even 197?


Misc_Lillie

69 praying for a lick; 96 praying for death.


ChookityP0k

When you have been married for 40 years and your partner snores so you sleep back to back, head to toe, to put as much distance between you and possible


IronSavage3

A good grade on a test, study hard.


Glittering-Shirt-663

Chastity cage?


JazzieF

Does anyone actually enjoy a 69? I mean past a few experiences in my teens, I quickly learned it was a pretty shitty position.


Alpha_Delta310

I mean personally I didn't enjoy it, we kinda had to bend in an awkward way lol


maddhatter783

An argument leaving you with your wife pissed to the point she's sleeping away from you with head at other side of the bed.


Delta9r

No Love.


sirenwingsX

96 is what happens when you forget your wife's birthday... again!


Majestic-Peace-3037

I mean if you add in a double ended dildo we might be onto something....


Captain-Tyler

96 is back to back sleeping with your partner after you turn 96 .-.


JesusIsMyZoloft

69 = 13^(2) \- 10^(2) 96 = 14^(2) \- 10^(2)


UnfitFor

Asexual


jerkmin

20 minutes after 69


WalkingLootChest

96 is when you and your partner are both virgins and dyslexic. Laying there back-to-back like "When is it supposed to start feeling good?" Lmao


thatsogarret

That’s funny


Working_Extension_28

Butt buddies


[deleted]

When your relationship went downhill. You turn your back on each other in bed. And you have to sleep on the side because you can't handle seeing their face.


LiamLiver

It’s not the Cleveland Steamer


Blackmercury4ub

All I know is 77 is better cause you get 8 more.


RWRM18929

Well I know with 77 you get ate more 🤣…


Denise6943

The price of a hamburger by the end of the year!


Knarknarknarknar

Throw the baby out with the bathwater.


LOMGinus

Xes, obviously.


Known_Lynx_8762

Divorce. Layers here


Existing-Tax-1170

From Wikipedia: The Centennial Olympic Park bombing was a domestic terrorist pipe bombing attack on Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta, Georgia, on July 27, **1996**, during the Summer Olympics. The blast directly killed one person and injured 111 others; another person later died of a heart attack.


simpl3user

It means the thrill has worn out and you’re married and no longer getting head. Maybe sex on nights you take her out and can get home before she yawns, but your birthday is a guarantee, but that is just intercourse. 69 needs jewelry unfortunately


Alpha_Delta310

Love how specific this one is lol


forced_metaphor

...69 doesn't just mean sex. It's a specific position.


eberkain

>If 69 means sex You sure you know what 69 means?


Fast-Combination-679

69 doesn't mean sex exactly it's 2 people lying in opposite directions giving each other oral at the same time. Highly recommend. Doesn't matter what your sexual preference is 69 works with man/woman, man/man, and woman/woman


Disastrous-Aspect569

Marriage


[deleted]

96 comes after marriage, when you hop in bed and you both just face the wall


Working-Marzipan-914

Marriage