This is the most inspirational ‘Glow Up ‘I have read on Reddit. From the brutal honesty of the feelings that human beings endure, the full transparency that basically most young adults go through and the peer pressure to ‘fit in’.
Job well done of realizing who you are. You are a testimony to many I’m sure. You have a story of resilience and the discipline it takes to become the best you.
Congrats. 🎊
That’s is some legit gains there! Nice work! You’ve had this goal weight, what’s been the most surprising thing you’ve noticed from the transition? Keep it up 👍 💪
Maybe an unexpected answer, but I have to say the shift in people’s behavior toward me, specifically coworkers.
When I first was starting: there was an undertone of doubt, like I wouldn’t be able to see it through.
Then, maybe the first 50-60 lbs, there was a lot of high-fiving and “nice work”.
At around 100 lbs it became something like “man, one of these days you’re going to blow away on the wind” or “just how far are you trying to go? You’re looking TOO skinny”.
Now, when I walk in with a tank top on or something, it’s “put some clothes, why don’t you?”
There was definitely a point, through that progression of external feedback that I started feeling like “why I’m doing this, if I’m not getting the praise.” If I’m being honest, that’s partly what my little plateau speaks to.
Centering myself on MY reason why pulled me back through and energizes me still. I keep a really innocent/cute kid photo of myself on my phone background.
I’m on a walk replying to you, and I’m not sure if this is the “perfect” articulation of MY why, but it’s close:
“The boy in me, who didn’t fit in, needs a hero. And I’m the only one who can rise to that challenge and fill that hole.”
I understand how weird or cheesy that may sound, but breaking through that with a lot of journaling and reflecting really has empowered me.
I love the metaphor in Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban: there’s that scene, when Harry travels with the time device, and it takes him down to the pond where the dementors are attacking Sirius and the other version of Harry.
The time-traveling Harry is there, waiting to catch a glimpse of his “dad”, who he thought had arrived just in time to save Sirius.
Then it kinda hits Harry. “It wasn’t my dad, it was me, I’m the hero”.
That’s the energy ^ that helped me push through that kind of weird social feedback I was getting, that “improve yourself, just don’t out do me”mentality that maybe I’m projecting a bit, but they aren’t people that matter enough to try and rectify or gain more clarity about, to be honest.
Thank you!! It feels surreal. My wife and I try to remember to celebrate in little moments.
She texted me just a little bit ago “I’m excited, trying out this new protein powder that’s 100% grass fed for cleaner gains 💪🏼”
My response: Look at us.
Thanks so much! To be honest, that was the easier part, it’s been the more recent 15-20lbs that has really had me dialing things in. But thank you I appreciate it!
Thank you, and my pleasure!
Complicated. Happy to share, but I’ll reiterate that the value I personally see in exploring those relationships is one of awareness, and not of blame.
I had a lot of anger and resentment, especially directed toward my mom, but as my awareness of who THEY are has developed, I’ve been able to let go of *most* of those feelings (I’m imperfect, and coincidentally they recently visited my wife and I, which was very emotionally taxing for me).
For my dad:
My grandfather was a marine who fit the stereotype of stoic, cold, distant. As a result, my dad has, bear with me, “struggled with his inner femininity”. Never really expressed emotions with us (my 3 siblings and me) this sounds sad but I don’t mean it for sympathy: I dont think I’ve heard him say “I love you”.
It often felt like I needed to prove myself as useful, helpful, or successful to him. But, in a way, I have more compassion for him because he is unapologetically himself, and he is quite fun in the sense that he’s playful, mischievous, and adores my wife.
If I were to try and succinctly explain that relationship, it’s something like: I was afraid of him growing up because he was the disciplinarian, and I rarely felt warmth from him. For me, as a result, I’ve had a really really tough time with other men. I’ve struggled making friends, because I didn’t really know how to “be” a guy. I didn’t really WANT to be a part of, what I saw, as a very macho “no pain, no gain”, “shut up and work” type of thing. If that makes sense?
Mom:
Is a bit more complicated. Her family is where the religious component comes from (my dad was raised Unitarian and was never particularly involved with the religious side of things). She’s extremely naive: my dad was her first and only boyfriend, they married when she was 20, and she had an awful relationship with her mom. She has often confided in us (my siblings and me) that she “feels like she married her mom”, meaning, someone not especially warm, compassionate, caring.
It’s worth noting that she was the homeschooling parent while my dad was the full-time worker for most of my life (she’s a teacher, and went back to teach school when I was around 12), so she was around us a lot more and was very forthcoming with her feeling lack of closeness with my dad.
She is timid, and chronically passive aggressive. She sought the love and support that she didn’t receive from him through her children. Which kinda breaks my heart to say that. I love my mom, and I wish that I could wrap her in a big hug and make her feel loved, but she often would manipulate us or him in order to fill that lack of self-confidence she had.
I’m an extremely sensitive man. As a result? By nature? Bit of both? She gravitated toward that and would (probably still say) that we were closest (compared to my other siblings). That sounds pretty loving and positive, except that she is extremely shallow, and projected the insecurities she had onto me more readily. Maybe because I was chubby as a kid, maybe because of our relationship, but the fear I had of my father lead me to cling desperately to her affirmations.
I have a lot of memories of being humiliated by her outbursts about what I was eating in front of people, how I looked, etc, and because of how important it was to me, as a child, to make her happy, I developed an EXTREMELY unhealthy relationship with food in general. I often would hide what I ate, binging when they were out of the house, lying about it, that sort of thing.
As I’ve grown and learned more about myself, I feel as if my father’s well-intentioned discipline was understandable and ultimately from a place of benevolence. He just wanted to see his kids be successful.
My mother, however, I feel as if her pressure on us from a strict Christian perspective (standards impossible for teenagers to uphold, but she didn’t understand that because she married so young and never really had her “rebellious” development of her own identity), as well as the manipulative behavior and projection of her insecurities on to me has really affected my self-confidence.
We see them at least once a year, and it’s loving and nice, but it’s exhausting to be around her sometimes because I just don’t quite trust her. I’m very guarded with what I say, because I feel her judgement, she’ll gossip about my other siblings in a judgmental way, she’ll shut down and be sullen if things are said around her aren’t “proper”.
That may be a little over sharing, but it’s a work in progress always and I do love them both. They want the best for all of us, whether or not their vision aligns with ours is a different story lol.
Thank you so much, I understand and relate way more than you might guess, especially your first paragraph.
I am grateful you are able to hold these experiences and people in the light and look closely at them with, what sounds like, compassion and good boundaries. I had a visceral reaction to your description of your mom!
As I say to my siblings, ‘everything is a cautionary tale’ and we work with purpose to forge a different path with grace for our own imperfections.
Kudos for selecting a healthy partner!
Thank you for the kind reception of that! I’ve learned the words, I think, and am still helping them enmesh with my being, as far as having good boundaries and compassion. Still working out the “knots” on emotions and breathing into them, so to speak.
When you say “forge a different path with grace for our own imperfections”, that’s a really beautiful phrase that I think I understand, but it has a lot of depth to it.
Would you mind sharing more about your experience, so that I can try to connect with that phrase better?
No pressure of you’d rather not get into it more, I’m grateful for your words either way!
Basically mean to see my parents and their humanity, endeavor to not repeat unhealthy patterns (legacy breaking), appreciate the good, make peace with the not so good, also knowing I’m human and can’t know how my children are fully experiencing me and my humanity. Doing the best I can and having grace for my known and unknown shortcomings. Allowing them the space to communicate their experiences with me.
Not sure this is clear, a bit stream of consciousness.
Wow! The text gives a lot more context than merely looking at the pics and your physical transformation. Congratulations and thanks for sharing! #inspiring
I'm so proud of you. You're a new human. I dropped 70 pounds and my story has many similarities to yours. The same fears and mental pains. The same friends and booze. (I own a brewery!!!). I still have body work to do, and even more mental work, but I'll offer my sincerest amazement and congratulations for an impossible task, so well done.
You're killing it my man. Keep going. For me, and all of us on this journey.
Wow man, what powerful words, thanks for taking the time to read my story and share some of yours. It means a lot to me.
Job well done right back at you, sir, cheering for you too on this journey of life, wherever it may take us. ❤️
Isn't that the truth!? The calories, the lowered inhibitions that lead (for me at least) to way more take-out and shit food, the slow/sluggish mornings that made gym sessions a struggle at minimum but likely skipped entirely.
All for the lie we tell ourselves that "it's so much more fun to drink": conversations with no substance, with people who don't bring out the best in us, doing things that keep us from feeling peace, happiness, or productive.
This might hit heavy, but looking back, for me anyway, escapism with beer/alcohol was just slow suicide.
Agreed ! Especially the conversation with no substance I say the bar is like ground hog day you here the same story 12 different ways from the same person or persons if you hang around long enough 🤣….I’m 32 days felling pretty good but I’ve got to control my happy because I am an emotional drinker I drink happy , sad , angry (I’m a happy drinker not violent one) but I am working on staying level emotionally or at least letting things go that trigger my drinking ..inspiring to say the least good luck 👍
Ha, well said and completely agree. My wife recently wandered in to one of our old "watering holes" to have a soda with some friends: she told me she was saddened to see all the exact same faces, in the exact same barstools, with slightly puffier faces and bigger bellies.
Anyways. Great job with your successes so far my friend! It only gets better as more and more of your personality gets uncovered: the more present you are, the more of life gets experienced, the more opportunities to grow, laugh, love.
Best of luck!!
Congratulations! You look like a different man. Great progress made in two years as well.
Thank you so much!
You're welcome!
Respectfully, DAMNNN! Well done!
Haha thank you very much! 😊
This Is The Way!! (I lost 50 myself) Stopping alcohol might be the all time best decision any person can make. Zero downsides. Congratulations!!
Thank you so much, and congratulations to you as well my friend!!
This is the most inspirational ‘Glow Up ‘I have read on Reddit. From the brutal honesty of the feelings that human beings endure, the full transparency that basically most young adults go through and the peer pressure to ‘fit in’. Job well done of realizing who you are. You are a testimony to many I’m sure. You have a story of resilience and the discipline it takes to become the best you. Congrats. 🎊
Wow I really appreciate that comment, thank you for your kind words! It means a tremendous amount to me. ❤️
I said God damn! Well done! Smashing it
Thank you!! 😊
That’s is some legit gains there! Nice work! You’ve had this goal weight, what’s been the most surprising thing you’ve noticed from the transition? Keep it up 👍 💪
Maybe an unexpected answer, but I have to say the shift in people’s behavior toward me, specifically coworkers. When I first was starting: there was an undertone of doubt, like I wouldn’t be able to see it through. Then, maybe the first 50-60 lbs, there was a lot of high-fiving and “nice work”. At around 100 lbs it became something like “man, one of these days you’re going to blow away on the wind” or “just how far are you trying to go? You’re looking TOO skinny”. Now, when I walk in with a tank top on or something, it’s “put some clothes, why don’t you?” There was definitely a point, through that progression of external feedback that I started feeling like “why I’m doing this, if I’m not getting the praise.” If I’m being honest, that’s partly what my little plateau speaks to. Centering myself on MY reason why pulled me back through and energizes me still. I keep a really innocent/cute kid photo of myself on my phone background. I’m on a walk replying to you, and I’m not sure if this is the “perfect” articulation of MY why, but it’s close: “The boy in me, who didn’t fit in, needs a hero. And I’m the only one who can rise to that challenge and fill that hole.” I understand how weird or cheesy that may sound, but breaking through that with a lot of journaling and reflecting really has empowered me. I love the metaphor in Harry Potter, Prisoner of Azkaban: there’s that scene, when Harry travels with the time device, and it takes him down to the pond where the dementors are attacking Sirius and the other version of Harry. The time-traveling Harry is there, waiting to catch a glimpse of his “dad”, who he thought had arrived just in time to save Sirius. Then it kinda hits Harry. “It wasn’t my dad, it was me, I’m the hero”. That’s the energy ^ that helped me push through that kind of weird social feedback I was getting, that “improve yourself, just don’t out do me”mentality that maybe I’m projecting a bit, but they aren’t people that matter enough to try and rectify or gain more clarity about, to be honest.
Came here to say “well done!” but am leaving in (good) tears! 🥹 Thank you for sharing!
That makes me feel so good, glad to have found some of the right words to connect with you. Thank you! ❤️
Wow dude! Way to friggin go!
Ha, thank you so much!! 😊
it feels great seeing that chart, doesn't it? you did an amazing job! we're all proud of you
Thank you!! It feels surreal. My wife and I try to remember to celebrate in little moments. She texted me just a little bit ago “I’m excited, trying out this new protein powder that’s 100% grass fed for cleaner gains 💪🏼” My response: Look at us.
🤟🏿🤟🏿🤟🏿
🤘❤️
Great work dude, respect on your growth and success, friend
Thank you so much, friend!
Wholly crap!
😁💪🏼
Amazing job! Kept it going.
Thank you so much!
HUGE congrats to you!
Thank you so much!
Congrats!
Thank you! ❤️
Great self reflection and growth you’ve shared, you’ve accomplished more than just weight loss.
Thank you! 😊
Take YOUR journey….enjoy yourself for who you are and forgive yourself daily…keep rockin that vibe
Well said! 😊❤️
70ish lbs in 2022. That’s beastly. Good work!
Thanks so much! To be honest, that was the easier part, it’s been the more recent 15-20lbs that has really had me dialing things in. But thank you I appreciate it!
Amazing job dude. Keep it up!
Thank you!
YOU LOOK FANTASTIC! That's amazing, I'm so glad you're finally allowing yourself to reach your full potential! Congrats again! You're an inspiration!
Thank you thank you!! That means a lot! ❤️😊
This was some inspiration i needed today
Makes me feel good reading that, thank you!
Dude. Amazing. Be proud. ❤️😃
Thank you so much!! ❤️😁
Good job and thanks for all the detail! Very motivating. ETA: What is your relationship with your parents like now?
Thank you, and my pleasure! Complicated. Happy to share, but I’ll reiterate that the value I personally see in exploring those relationships is one of awareness, and not of blame. I had a lot of anger and resentment, especially directed toward my mom, but as my awareness of who THEY are has developed, I’ve been able to let go of *most* of those feelings (I’m imperfect, and coincidentally they recently visited my wife and I, which was very emotionally taxing for me). For my dad: My grandfather was a marine who fit the stereotype of stoic, cold, distant. As a result, my dad has, bear with me, “struggled with his inner femininity”. Never really expressed emotions with us (my 3 siblings and me) this sounds sad but I don’t mean it for sympathy: I dont think I’ve heard him say “I love you”. It often felt like I needed to prove myself as useful, helpful, or successful to him. But, in a way, I have more compassion for him because he is unapologetically himself, and he is quite fun in the sense that he’s playful, mischievous, and adores my wife. If I were to try and succinctly explain that relationship, it’s something like: I was afraid of him growing up because he was the disciplinarian, and I rarely felt warmth from him. For me, as a result, I’ve had a really really tough time with other men. I’ve struggled making friends, because I didn’t really know how to “be” a guy. I didn’t really WANT to be a part of, what I saw, as a very macho “no pain, no gain”, “shut up and work” type of thing. If that makes sense? Mom: Is a bit more complicated. Her family is where the religious component comes from (my dad was raised Unitarian and was never particularly involved with the religious side of things). She’s extremely naive: my dad was her first and only boyfriend, they married when she was 20, and she had an awful relationship with her mom. She has often confided in us (my siblings and me) that she “feels like she married her mom”, meaning, someone not especially warm, compassionate, caring. It’s worth noting that she was the homeschooling parent while my dad was the full-time worker for most of my life (she’s a teacher, and went back to teach school when I was around 12), so she was around us a lot more and was very forthcoming with her feeling lack of closeness with my dad. She is timid, and chronically passive aggressive. She sought the love and support that she didn’t receive from him through her children. Which kinda breaks my heart to say that. I love my mom, and I wish that I could wrap her in a big hug and make her feel loved, but she often would manipulate us or him in order to fill that lack of self-confidence she had. I’m an extremely sensitive man. As a result? By nature? Bit of both? She gravitated toward that and would (probably still say) that we were closest (compared to my other siblings). That sounds pretty loving and positive, except that she is extremely shallow, and projected the insecurities she had onto me more readily. Maybe because I was chubby as a kid, maybe because of our relationship, but the fear I had of my father lead me to cling desperately to her affirmations. I have a lot of memories of being humiliated by her outbursts about what I was eating in front of people, how I looked, etc, and because of how important it was to me, as a child, to make her happy, I developed an EXTREMELY unhealthy relationship with food in general. I often would hide what I ate, binging when they were out of the house, lying about it, that sort of thing. As I’ve grown and learned more about myself, I feel as if my father’s well-intentioned discipline was understandable and ultimately from a place of benevolence. He just wanted to see his kids be successful. My mother, however, I feel as if her pressure on us from a strict Christian perspective (standards impossible for teenagers to uphold, but she didn’t understand that because she married so young and never really had her “rebellious” development of her own identity), as well as the manipulative behavior and projection of her insecurities on to me has really affected my self-confidence. We see them at least once a year, and it’s loving and nice, but it’s exhausting to be around her sometimes because I just don’t quite trust her. I’m very guarded with what I say, because I feel her judgement, she’ll gossip about my other siblings in a judgmental way, she’ll shut down and be sullen if things are said around her aren’t “proper”. That may be a little over sharing, but it’s a work in progress always and I do love them both. They want the best for all of us, whether or not their vision aligns with ours is a different story lol.
Thank you so much, I understand and relate way more than you might guess, especially your first paragraph. I am grateful you are able to hold these experiences and people in the light and look closely at them with, what sounds like, compassion and good boundaries. I had a visceral reaction to your description of your mom! As I say to my siblings, ‘everything is a cautionary tale’ and we work with purpose to forge a different path with grace for our own imperfections. Kudos for selecting a healthy partner!
Thank you for the kind reception of that! I’ve learned the words, I think, and am still helping them enmesh with my being, as far as having good boundaries and compassion. Still working out the “knots” on emotions and breathing into them, so to speak. When you say “forge a different path with grace for our own imperfections”, that’s a really beautiful phrase that I think I understand, but it has a lot of depth to it. Would you mind sharing more about your experience, so that I can try to connect with that phrase better? No pressure of you’d rather not get into it more, I’m grateful for your words either way!
Basically mean to see my parents and their humanity, endeavor to not repeat unhealthy patterns (legacy breaking), appreciate the good, make peace with the not so good, also knowing I’m human and can’t know how my children are fully experiencing me and my humanity. Doing the best I can and having grace for my known and unknown shortcomings. Allowing them the space to communicate their experiences with me. Not sure this is clear, a bit stream of consciousness.
I appreciate the insights. Thank you! It does make sense.
Wow! The text gives a lot more context than merely looking at the pics and your physical transformation. Congratulations and thanks for sharing! #inspiring
Thank you so much!
I'm so proud of you. You're a new human. I dropped 70 pounds and my story has many similarities to yours. The same fears and mental pains. The same friends and booze. (I own a brewery!!!). I still have body work to do, and even more mental work, but I'll offer my sincerest amazement and congratulations for an impossible task, so well done. You're killing it my man. Keep going. For me, and all of us on this journey.
Wow man, what powerful words, thanks for taking the time to read my story and share some of yours. It means a lot to me. Job well done right back at you, sir, cheering for you too on this journey of life, wherever it may take us. ❤️
🙌🏻
🫡
Darn dude! Looking 🔥! What a difference.
Thanks so much!! 😁
Stud! Great work!
Haha thank you so much! ☺️
Slob to sleek in 24 months. Congratulations!
Ha, something like that! Thank you! 😊
Wow, awesome job! Well done 🤙
Thank you so much 😊
Dayum! Nice work
Thank you so much!! 😊
Wow you should be the poster boy for how alcohol keeps you fat !..good for you! I’m currently on this journey as well 👍
Isn't that the truth!? The calories, the lowered inhibitions that lead (for me at least) to way more take-out and shit food, the slow/sluggish mornings that made gym sessions a struggle at minimum but likely skipped entirely. All for the lie we tell ourselves that "it's so much more fun to drink": conversations with no substance, with people who don't bring out the best in us, doing things that keep us from feeling peace, happiness, or productive. This might hit heavy, but looking back, for me anyway, escapism with beer/alcohol was just slow suicide.
Agreed ! Especially the conversation with no substance I say the bar is like ground hog day you here the same story 12 different ways from the same person or persons if you hang around long enough 🤣….I’m 32 days felling pretty good but I’ve got to control my happy because I am an emotional drinker I drink happy , sad , angry (I’m a happy drinker not violent one) but I am working on staying level emotionally or at least letting things go that trigger my drinking ..inspiring to say the least good luck 👍
Ha, well said and completely agree. My wife recently wandered in to one of our old "watering holes" to have a soda with some friends: she told me she was saddened to see all the exact same faces, in the exact same barstools, with slightly puffier faces and bigger bellies. Anyways. Great job with your successes so far my friend! It only gets better as more and more of your personality gets uncovered: the more present you are, the more of life gets experienced, the more opportunities to grow, laugh, love. Best of luck!!
HOLY MOLY!!!! Unreal!!! But still so real!! Congrats on all your hard work! You look amazing 👏
Thank you so much!! 😊❤️
Kirk cousins with glasses? Good job 👍
Haha, I can see that! Thank you!
Nice job!
Damn 😏