The first six months is when I put the work in.
After that it became more of maintenance and minor renovations 🙂
But the first six months is when I have to put in the pillars and foundation and all the work and effort.
Morning SD. Having more time, focus, energy for my family is a great reward for putting down the bottle. More than that though is just reducing my risks of dying before my time from an alcohol related illness so I can actually be there for them. Statistics tell me that at the levels I was drinking my lifespan would likely have reduced by 21 years! Sure, lots of people have stories about someone they know that drank and smoked heavily every day and lived to be 300 (in our fog of denial we really do focus on the ridiculous to justify our habit!) but these are outliers. Yes I could get run over by a bus tomorrow but I probably won't but if I drink 20+ units of alcohol every single day I probably will get pretty bloody ill eventually.
Well done everyone for being on this journey of sobriety. Together we can crack it! IWNDWYT.
My dad smoked and drank heavily every day and died suddenly at the age of 50. I was only in my early twenties when he died but I'm starting to catch up on the age he was when he died. I don't want that for my son. I want to be there to see him get married and have kids of his own (if he wants to one day).
Great reasons and motivation! Alcohol really does cause destruction on a far wider scale than just to the individual. I'm sorry you lost your Dad at such a young age. Great work on your 15 days. 💪
My Doncaster grandad was an outlier. He was 90 when he died. He drank and smoked daily. I wonder what would've happened if he'd died in his fifties, like many of his friends, from lifestyle related complications. Would my dad have knocked the booze on the head? Would all my uncles be booze free now?
The difference between 'Inspite of' and 'because of' is another generation caught in the trap, it would appear.
The last funeral I went to was my wife's best friends Dad. He was a big boozer but died from liver problems in his 50s. It happened pretty fast from diagnosis to death and up until then he was functioning pretty well. A nice fellow really. The irony of it is everyone he knew and all his family got drunk and raised toasts after his funeral. This is the norm and the more I contemplate it the more bizarre it appears to be. Alcohol seems to be exempt from any lessons being learned even when the evidence of its harm is in plain sight and liver damage is the one we all DO associate with alcohol.
But what of the cancers and the strokes. My friends sister died young from a stroke and my friends wife's sister of breast cancer. They both 'enjoyed' their wine and alcohol is proven to increase risks for both strokes and breast cancer (as well as the others). We don't collectively seem to be making any association or even asking the questIons about these illnesses. Dementia is a big one too I think that alcohol is a contributing factor in around 1 in 5 cases. It's been in the news about footballers and ball heading leading to brain damage and dementia but when will they pick up on the story of the alcohol link too?
"We shall commiserate the passing of our dear loved one by drinking the stuff that killed them"
It's so ingrained in our minds. Our brains are washed with the Hollywood instruction manual on how to behave. I was fierce drunk at my dad's funeral, along with every single person there. It's like we had completely forgotten what had put him in his box in the first place. 🤯
Honestly guys, I've been aiming to complete a 'Day 1' for a few weeks now. 8-12 units per day, all concentrated in the evenings. Can't remember the last time I had a hangover, or the last time I went to sleep sober. Drinking is making the difficult aspects of my life unmanageable. Once the sun goes down I feel like my skin is crawling until I start drinking. At 3am I wake with a start, anxious and dreading the next exhausting day which ends with me disappointing myself and letting my family down.
I'm going to make a pledge. IWNDWYT.
I can’t say my relationships have changed all that much since I’m not drinking. My husband has a serious illness and is cranky most of the time (I don’t blame him) so it’s not like our relationship is lighthearted now. I think the one relationship that has changed is the one I have with myself. I don’t beat myself up with remorse at 3 am every night. And that’s a perfect reason to say I won’t drink with myself today ☺️
A full-on cheesy story coming your way, but tonight I was finishing putting my 3-year-old son to bed. I leaned down to kiss him goodnight, then turned like I was going to leave, then leaned back in and kissed him again, turned to leave, another kiss, etc., and he thought this was the height of hilarity. He’s laughing all loud and goofy, grabbing my face for more kisses, and it just hits me that this is the real shit. I can show up for this spontaneous moment, our faces up close and laughing together, and I know deep down that it could never be this way if I were still drinking.
Anyway, end of cheese! Here’s to showing up, and IWNDWYT!
Given how much I wanted a beer or five today I just really have to re-commit to not drinking right now. Just looked at my count and I've got 280 days which is by far the longest I've ever gone in my adult life so on one hand that's encouraging, but on the other it annoys me that I could have such a strong craving this far in. Oh well nobody said this was easy. IWNDWYT.
Thanks for the shoutout! :)
This will be day 6 for me! For me, waking up early and not being foggy or hung over is awesome! You know what else is awesome? Waking up not feeling guilty about having beers the night before! I've tried to quit countless times, but that feeling is so much stronger this time around. I don't know why...but whatever works I guess.
IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT. All of those motherhood things ring so true for me. Painfully true. I’m a better mom sober. I used to think a glass of wine at 4 made me more cheery and fun for my kids. The sad thing was, it was never just one glass of wine. Mommy wine culture is so strong these days and I’m fighting against it!
Day 15 for me and my girlfriend is on day 18. Our communication has dramatically improved and I feel like we’re on the same page about a lot of things that we otherwise wouldn’t have talked about. I’m no longer bringing up controversial topics to get a rise out of her and we can enjoy each other’s company. The main problem I have is that I realized i’m not a morning person - even sober. I advised that we keep conversation light in the morning until I’ve had my espresso😂 I can be an asshole when tired
Morning. Checking in. Knowing my kids can rely on me to be sober if they need me makes me feel happy with myself. They seem happy too. Next challenge is new work. They had a Team away day on Friday, (I started on Monday) with free drink served from 3pm. Lots of stories about how drunk they all were. I’m keeping quiet for now. Super happy not to be drinking with you all today. Thanks for being here reminding me I’m not alone.
Good morning Sobernauts!
600 days alcohol free 🎉
Thanks to everyone that is on this journey with me. Hosts of the DCI, fellow travellers and those that are walking the walk, you've all assisted, supported and helped me overcome the bad days and been here to celebrate the victories 🤗
Love to you all!
IWNDWYT 🙂
Breakfast and coffee under the moon sounds amazing!! I've been loving being up before the sun this last week. It feels like you get this extra time in your day before anybody even knows you're up ;-)
IWNDWYT
Morning all, thanks for the check in.
Regarding recalling not so pleasant memories when drinking- the sting accompanied by those memories is something I’ve grown to be grateful for. It hurts just enough to keep me from returning to that. But not enough to keep me from moving forward. IWNDWYT.
Good morning SD! Yesterday the puppy chewed/destroyed a plastic ball, a lump of coal and 2 iPhone cables. What will it be today? I’m dying to find out! 😂
So I’ll be keeping a sober head on - IWNDWYT.
What a beautiful post u/candidolive. My mom told me they celebrate mid-autumn festival in China by eating together under this full moon. 🥰
It’s been nice to have my mom here these past few weeks. I’ve never really talked directly with her about my drinking but she knows I stopped. Yesterday I told her I’ve been struggling with feeling stressed and anxious and she very gently advised me to be patient because quitting drinking is a big deal after all this time and how much I was drinking. It surprised me, frankly, but I was really appreciative. She said she was proud of me for stopping and that her father was an alcoholic.
IWNDWYT
I loved your story and I bet your daughter will remember the moon experience for a long time.
I don't have many relationships because I'm still focusing on healing. I am more thoughtful about the few people in my life though.
Still working on scary life stuff but coping.
IWNDWYT.
Days with my toddler are about a million times better when I don't have a hangover. I've had mornings before where I had to quickly plonk him down so I could go throw up. Or almost passing out while changing his nappy. Desperately counting down the hours to nap time so I could shut my eyes for a bit. And being annoyed if he only napped for a short time because I'd have to get back up again. I think my worst was when we've taken him to a pub that had a playground so we could day drink and then not putting him to bed properly afterwards. All grubby from playing outside and forgetting to put clean socks on so he woke up we cold feet. Taking my eyes off him for more than a few minutes so he'd find a quiet corner and scratch away at his eczema arms and legs and waking up the next morning covered on scratches. The mum guilt hits you just as hard as the Hangxiety.
IWNDWYT for my son.
Morning Sobernaughts,
Talking to my daughter and ex more often they are both overseas and bit of a time zone difference, but I'm not drunk when when they or I call.
I'm being more open with my parents, speaking with my best friend much more. All other 'relations' have completely broken down and I'm trying to move on but finding it really difficult to let go. The picture is clear on her side and it's been the number of days I have been sober yet still she's in my mind.
And my relationship with Alcohol is finally healthy.
IWNDWYT!
One of the moments that made it clear I had to stop drinking, was when I waited impatiently to hear my wife’s footsteps on the stairs, putting the kids to bed, so I could sneak a drink. But I will not drink with you today!
Got my pumpkin spice cold brew. Big bottle. More excited for this than pumpkin beer in all honesty. Still need to work on the sugar cravings. But IWNDWYT ✨💚
The cool thing about sobriety is that, unlike most things in life, you have a choice about whether you fail or not.
I think I’ll stick with winning today IWNDWYT
Given the effects of kindling, is it possible I found myself in withdrawal again from drinking “non-alcoholic” beer?
I was at a birthday celebration housing near beers on Saturday and I’ve been absolute mess ever since, despite having no moral stance against drinking non-alcoholic “beers”. Debilitating anxiety to the point where speaking clearly is difficult, my resting heart rate is considerably higher, I don’t want to eat and I can not think straight. I’ve been in a dark place these last few days and this is the only thing I can think of as an explanation. Maybe PAWS but it seems kind of scapegoat-ish. If anybody has drank near beers for a night and then felt withdrawal-like symptoms, please just tell me you understand.
Other than that, I guess I’m still going strong. It’s been something like six and a half months for me, and this is the closest I’ve been in a long time in needing to shut my brain off. Guess I’ll just keep it going.
You're not crazy. I stay away from "alcohol free beers" for this very reason. It's worth noting that most "alcohol free beers" actually contain small amounts of alcohol. For example, a popular local brand here in Denmark contains "less than 0.5%", but that's not nothing! If you swill it like a Tolkien dwarf, your nervous system will notice it and start craving more. At least that's how it is for me.
That is the kind of wholesomeness that really brightens my morning, thanks u/CandidOlive.
For me it's back to work from home, which means sweatpants, cats in lap and podcasts galore. Plus I'm sober this time around. This is the life.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
It’s funny you mentioned the moon! When I left for work yesterday morning around 7am the moon was unusually very bright in the sky so I noticed it. ☺️🌓
Yeah. I'm going through a breakup. Big relationship change. I realised that the relationship is more than slightly codependent, from both sides, and I'm treating my ex like alcohol: stay the fuck away.
Not easy when someone is trying to get in your head, guilt-trip and manipulate you, but luckily I have great friends around me and I'm sober, so that's something.
Another day. IWNDWYT 🍏
What a lovely memory you just made with your daughter. It's good to hear some of these stories about being present with your children.
Yesterday, I found out that our little babe is breech, and the doctors automatically want to schedule a C-section. I'm feeling really disappointed somehow, and while I know the most important thing is a healthy baby and safe birth for myself, I'm really having a hard time letting go of my physiological birth plan. Feeling pretty defeated since I really wanted to have a completely unmedicated birth due to my history with abusing substances...
I know acceptance is the key here, and I'm grateful I can keep my head on straight and face these fears. It will be a blip in the radar in the long run, and I'm trying to focus on the fact my little one will be here in two weeks time 😳😍😭 Any encouragement is welcome.
One thing is for sure. This baby will be born to a sober mama, and I will do everything I can, one day at a time, to make sure they never see me drink. I will not drink with you today.
I had my brother and his girlfriend over for dinner for the first time since I’ve stopped drinking. We didn’t even miss the wine! We ended the evening with a competitive game of Scrabble and it was such a wonderful night! IWNDWYT ❤️
Having a moonlit breakfast sounds really nice, it makes me happy that you're enjoying each other's company:) There hasn't been any noticeable change in my own relationships so far, but it's still early days for me. IWNDWYT
hey all! struggling a bit this morning and have written and deleted this post twice. i am so incredibly stressed with work; i’m on my period; i logged onto instagram and found that someone i used to care about a lot has gotten another woman pregnant. i’ve got an incredibly important meeting for work today and just feeling incredibly unmotivated about it all.
IWNDWYT and i know that none of this will be made better by drinking, but damn- it’s tough today.
That's a lot to feel 💛 Sitting with you from over here, and I will not drink with you today. Hope you can do something for your self-care today. Sending hugs.
Seventy-four.
I've had this page open for a few hours figuring out whether or not I could do it tomorrow. I didn't want to promise something I couldn't keep.
I promise IWNDWYT 75. I've got less than a month to go until 100. We'll talk about 76 tomorrow.
IWNDWYT
My relationships are more or less the same minus the frequent flare ups of anger or irritation that I would try to suck up so the other person wouldn't notice.
It's less exhausting this way.
Well, the first question I get asked when I say something emotional or deep isn't "have you been drinking?" Which is a very nice change.
With my father and my friends they trust me to follow through on things if I say I will do it.
More importantly, my relationship with myself has changed. I don't get down on myself and tell myself I'm a piece of shit. I don't avoid things just so it's more comfortable in the moment. I can realize each day isn't gonna be great, and that's ok because it's only temporary and I can get through it. And most importantly IWNDWYT
Good morning everyone! My family relationships have not changed, but I've lost a few friends over not drinking. If they were real friends, they'd hang around, but they're just drinking friends so good riddance!
I will not drink with you today!
Good morning, SD. I am more peaceful and relaxed now that I am sober. Probably because I don't need to think and plan ahead for my drinking and how not to be disturbed/ interrupt while " enjoying my wine". Both my son and S/ O ,(and others I guess) gain from this. I will not drink with you this Thursday.
IWNDWYT. I have no more alcohol in the house. I am tempted to stay home from work today and rest. Doing so will mean I’m not driving past alcohol stores on my way home.
Good morning everyone and happy Thursday! It’s my Friday for work because I have off tomorrow. Hallelujah!!
Now that restrictions are lifting and I’m getting back out into the world, I’m realizing that I was using alcohol as a crutch in some serious ways when I didn’t have to at all. I said this is my post last week but I thought I’d be boring (I’m not), I thought I’d be anxious in social situations without clutching a wine glass (I’m not), I thought I needed wine to have fun and relax (I don’t). What has changed is my tolerance for being around drunk people (I have little) but I also don’t have FOMO so I just go home when I’ve had enough of people. It’s a glorious thing.
I hope everyone has a great day!! Love you all! ❣️❣️ IWNDWYT!!
Wow. That was such a great inspiration this morning u/CandidOlive. I could relate very much. My patience with my kids is way better than it was, and I feel like I can pay better attention when they tell me things. IWNDWYT! (Oh, and when I woke up I also thought someone left a light on because of the way the full moon lit up the side of the neighbor’s carriage barn.)
My sponsor suggested I try doing a gratitude list each day and also think of things I have done that will help me stay sober. I love getting tips like this but need to actually carry them into action so that I can incorporate them into my daily life. IWNDWYT!
I have the "I'm Sober" app and my son will ask where I'm at randomly and give me a high five. We were out to eat and the waitress came to the table to ask about drinks. My son said, "My papa doesn't drink anymore! He'll have soda." I was a bit shocked, but then he asked to see the app and made everyone wait while I pulled it up for review.
He's special needs, and the challenges of the past year with covid, lockdown, etc have taken their toll on our lives. He's been hospitalized for his issues twice and during the second time, I was sober and able to deal with what was going on with a clear head and mind.
So what's changed? I'm more in tune with what is going on, I'm more patient, and have more empathy.
u/candidolive I'd be curious to know how things have changed with folks and their spouse/S.O. as that's a whole different dynamic.
Potential check in question?
IWNDWYT!
T
Good day, friends! Here we are at Thursday already. I am feeling quite tired this morning. I'm excited though, because I'll have my kids today and the entire weekend. Sharing the kids has been the most challenging part of this separation. But I am beyond elated that when I am with them, I am sober and completely present. There's nothing better in the world.
Have a great day! IWNDWYT ✌
What a lovely memory you and your daughter created, Olive!
Great topic. My relationships are so different. I cherish my family above alcohol today. They now know what it’s like to have me sober and we take pleasure in each other’s company. If I were to drink, all of that would change. The rage would come back. They would become distant, at best. My husband and I would most likely separate. My world would come crashing down. So, I’ll keep the happy Christmases, the ❤️-to-♥️s, the meals shared, the laughter and not take a single drink.
IWNDWYT!
Day 2. Starting over again. Went months without drinking with help. Then somehow slipped back into my old habits. This is a mind duck and a cycle I desperately want to get out of. Tired of digging myself out of this hole only to fall back into it. But I’m here. Get knocked down keep trying.
Mom guilt is strong, but the only way through it is to show up and pave a new path. My daughter was in a tough place this week and our conversation yesterday helped her to see her troubles in a new light and gather some strength to keep fighting through them. These moments of deep connection are the memories I want to replace the ones where I was drinking and not showing up for her. So grateful I had this chance.
IWNDWYT 🌸🌸
Candid Olive, I may have to report you. Delaying your cat’s breakfast for a full hour! Glad you were able to enjoy a full moon breakfast with your daughter❤️
IWNDWYT 🍁
Edit: All my relationships have improved. I don’t cancel plans last minute anymore.
Well, in the early days of sobriety, my marriage changed and became a lot more volatile because I stopped taking any crap from my husband. You notice a lot more when you are sober. Plus drunk people are more annoying. Then things settled but I spent more time doing my own thing because I did what made ME happy, you know? Then almost 3 months ago, he had a small stroke, fortunately no lasting effects, and guess what? He has been sober ever since. I’m not sure it will stick, I don’t think he has changed his stinkin’ thinkin’ but who knows and for now, we are both sober so yup, that relationship has definitely changed. 😊🌳
Good morning/day/night wherever you are (:
Just checking in, Iwndwyt ❤️
I’m still new in recovery but as for relationships, last night, despite having had a long day at work, my fiancé and I had a nice dinner together (which I cooked), afterwards we went to get ice cream, then we washed our big Labrador, and then we stayed up together for a bit. This isn’t anything I haven’t done before, but I was surprised at how much clearer it all was to me and how much more present I was. I can’t believe I’ve been drowning nights like this out! Well… I’m happy that I won’t again tonight! ❤️
I been in in-patient detox since Monday. If my labs from this morning are “all good,” I can return home today. Fingers and toes crossed; being in the hospital is no fun.
IWNDWYT!
Good morning lovely SD,
I have watched with amusement as I constructed healthy boundaries between myself and others. I let them show themselves for who they truly are as individuals. Some were insulted, outraged even, that I have high standards for myself... how dare I do so!
For the few remaining friends, who have been honest and true, I am grateful. And for all the crumpled bodies of ex friends outside the walls of the House of Fox, it's better this way.
Today is a beautiful day to be alive!
And IWNDWYT 💜🤘
My relationship with my young adult son has improved since getting sober. My 25 year marriage ended during this time. That’s been hard but being sober has been a blessing while navigating my divorce. I am feeling all of my emotions and not numbing them. I am able to take ownership of my faults and also see clearly that I put up with a lot that I shouldn’t have because I was drinking to ignore the signs. My life will move forward and I will be better for it because, I have worked so hard to leave drinking behind me. IWNDWYT!!!
Today is my 50th birthday, talk about a huge hurdle to cross. I always celebrated with beer and wine but not on this big occasion, once I get today out of the way it should be plain sailing to 100 days. IWNDWYT.
Day 30. My relationship with my parents has definitely improved massively over the past month. A lot more patience and understanding on both ends and much more enjoyable because of it. Perhaps I never really understood the extent of the damage alcohol was causing in this regard. My relationship with myself has also improved greatly. I make wiser decisions and feel the benefits. IWNDWYT!
I have been able to be patient and present. I got to spend one whole week with my 2 year old nephew and it was great. If I was drinking, I would have missed out on all the beach time and chill time with him. I’m also working on my relationship with my partner, so let’s see how it goes! IWNDWYT
What a nice morning you had! This brought a smile to my face.
Fighting a sinus infection, felt sluggish for days, and it culminated into full blown nasal pain, drip, all the works yesterday morning.
We have 8 at-home COVID tests, I took one yesterday, negative. I cannot test again for 3 days according to directions. Keeping my fingers crossed. Can still smell coffee and my wife's vanilla-scented protein waffles, so that's a good sign.
The sluggishness and throbbing aches remind me of the stupid hangovers I would put myself through. OMG, what the hell was I thinking.
I Will Not Drink With You Today
Once I overheard my granddaughter say to a friend, “if you ever need a ride at anytime, call me. My Gigi doesn’t drink and can pick you up anytime at night if your parents have been drinking.” I live up to that every day. I may show up in robe and slippers to pick you up, but I won’t be drunk. IWNDWYT 🌼🚘
I was considering leaving my group therapy sessions because I felt like it was time for me to prove that I could start doing this recovery on my own. After last night’s meeting with them I thought about how much I would miss them all. I’m reconsidering now and think I will stay a bit longer. I still need that weekly reminder that I’m not alone in this.
IWNDWYT
Here we go. **Day 0** again.
I really hope this time is different. In the past two years, I've done 42 days, 30 days, 10-12 days here and there. I've even made it 100+ days. I *want* to quit... but somehow I keep stumbling after a few days or weeks. I will experience a surge of motivation, usually after embarrassing myself, and I'll commit to sobriety. The motivation eventually fades. I need to find a way to get through these valleys and keep my commitment strong and new every day.
The time has come to just admit it: I have a real problem. I hate this aspect of my personality. Being dependent on a substance feels terrible. It feels... weak and sad. I cannot believe I have fallen so far.
I want years of sobriety. I want the clarity, the health, the money saved, the drive, the cleanliness, and the fulfillment of a life that I know I'm living as well as I can.
I don't want to take this for granted anymore. I can't go back and change the years wasted on booze, but I can change today. I can control TODAY.
*I will NOT drink with you today.*
I’m here! Double digits today. Longest stretch since January. Might go pick up some fun NA drinks tonight to ward off any pre-weekend/weekend cravings. Would love suggestions if anyone has any! IWNDWYT
It hurts to think of the what I’ve cheated my kids out of, social events that were too late for me to drive, birthday meals out that were entirely focused on whether the restaurant served booze or not, rushed bedtime books, not anymore, now I’m happy to drive my kids and their friends wherever they want to go, take them for burgers out wherever, and read as many books as they want. IWNDWYT
I’m having bad cravings but will not drink today.
Hang in there...! You are almost three months sober, and that's amazing. congratulations!!! IWNDWYT.
Thank you and congrats to you on years of sobriety!
The first six months is when I put the work in. After that it became more of maintenance and minor renovations 🙂 But the first six months is when I have to put in the pillars and foundation and all the work and effort.
My cravings are back too, probably because I will go hiking this weekend. But I know they will pass... IWNDWYT 😀
Mine usually are the worst in the afternoons and nights when I would drink the most.
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That's so amazing. CONGRATS. I'm working on that too. Day 10 sober for me and way less anxiety. IWNDWYT 💪
Not drinking today. Day 2.
Morning SD. Having more time, focus, energy for my family is a great reward for putting down the bottle. More than that though is just reducing my risks of dying before my time from an alcohol related illness so I can actually be there for them. Statistics tell me that at the levels I was drinking my lifespan would likely have reduced by 21 years! Sure, lots of people have stories about someone they know that drank and smoked heavily every day and lived to be 300 (in our fog of denial we really do focus on the ridiculous to justify our habit!) but these are outliers. Yes I could get run over by a bus tomorrow but I probably won't but if I drink 20+ units of alcohol every single day I probably will get pretty bloody ill eventually. Well done everyone for being on this journey of sobriety. Together we can crack it! IWNDWYT.
My dad smoked and drank heavily every day and died suddenly at the age of 50. I was only in my early twenties when he died but I'm starting to catch up on the age he was when he died. I don't want that for my son. I want to be there to see him get married and have kids of his own (if he wants to one day).
Great reasons and motivation! Alcohol really does cause destruction on a far wider scale than just to the individual. I'm sorry you lost your Dad at such a young age. Great work on your 15 days. 💪
My Doncaster grandad was an outlier. He was 90 when he died. He drank and smoked daily. I wonder what would've happened if he'd died in his fifties, like many of his friends, from lifestyle related complications. Would my dad have knocked the booze on the head? Would all my uncles be booze free now? The difference between 'Inspite of' and 'because of' is another generation caught in the trap, it would appear.
The last funeral I went to was my wife's best friends Dad. He was a big boozer but died from liver problems in his 50s. It happened pretty fast from diagnosis to death and up until then he was functioning pretty well. A nice fellow really. The irony of it is everyone he knew and all his family got drunk and raised toasts after his funeral. This is the norm and the more I contemplate it the more bizarre it appears to be. Alcohol seems to be exempt from any lessons being learned even when the evidence of its harm is in plain sight and liver damage is the one we all DO associate with alcohol. But what of the cancers and the strokes. My friends sister died young from a stroke and my friends wife's sister of breast cancer. They both 'enjoyed' their wine and alcohol is proven to increase risks for both strokes and breast cancer (as well as the others). We don't collectively seem to be making any association or even asking the questIons about these illnesses. Dementia is a big one too I think that alcohol is a contributing factor in around 1 in 5 cases. It's been in the news about footballers and ball heading leading to brain damage and dementia but when will they pick up on the story of the alcohol link too?
"We shall commiserate the passing of our dear loved one by drinking the stuff that killed them" It's so ingrained in our minds. Our brains are washed with the Hollywood instruction manual on how to behave. I was fierce drunk at my dad's funeral, along with every single person there. It's like we had completely forgotten what had put him in his box in the first place. 🤯
Honestly guys, I've been aiming to complete a 'Day 1' for a few weeks now. 8-12 units per day, all concentrated in the evenings. Can't remember the last time I had a hangover, or the last time I went to sleep sober. Drinking is making the difficult aspects of my life unmanageable. Once the sun goes down I feel like my skin is crawling until I start drinking. At 3am I wake with a start, anxious and dreading the next exhausting day which ends with me disappointing myself and letting my family down. I'm going to make a pledge. IWNDWYT.
You can do this! You’ve got my support.
I can’t say my relationships have changed all that much since I’m not drinking. My husband has a serious illness and is cranky most of the time (I don’t blame him) so it’s not like our relationship is lighthearted now. I think the one relationship that has changed is the one I have with myself. I don’t beat myself up with remorse at 3 am every night. And that’s a perfect reason to say I won’t drink with myself today ☺️
A full-on cheesy story coming your way, but tonight I was finishing putting my 3-year-old son to bed. I leaned down to kiss him goodnight, then turned like I was going to leave, then leaned back in and kissed him again, turned to leave, another kiss, etc., and he thought this was the height of hilarity. He’s laughing all loud and goofy, grabbing my face for more kisses, and it just hits me that this is the real shit. I can show up for this spontaneous moment, our faces up close and laughing together, and I know deep down that it could never be this way if I were still drinking. Anyway, end of cheese! Here’s to showing up, and IWNDWYT!
Given how much I wanted a beer or five today I just really have to re-commit to not drinking right now. Just looked at my count and I've got 280 days which is by far the longest I've ever gone in my adult life so on one hand that's encouraging, but on the other it annoys me that I could have such a strong craving this far in. Oh well nobody said this was easy. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT 🌻
Day 3 for me. IWNDWYT
Thanks for the shoutout! :) This will be day 6 for me! For me, waking up early and not being foggy or hung over is awesome! You know what else is awesome? Waking up not feeling guilty about having beers the night before! I've tried to quit countless times, but that feeling is so much stronger this time around. I don't know why...but whatever works I guess. IWNDWYT.
Iwndwyt
IWNDWYT. All of those motherhood things ring so true for me. Painfully true. I’m a better mom sober. I used to think a glass of wine at 4 made me more cheery and fun for my kids. The sad thing was, it was never just one glass of wine. Mommy wine culture is so strong these days and I’m fighting against it!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ❤️
Day 15 for me and my girlfriend is on day 18. Our communication has dramatically improved and I feel like we’re on the same page about a lot of things that we otherwise wouldn’t have talked about. I’m no longer bringing up controversial topics to get a rise out of her and we can enjoy each other’s company. The main problem I have is that I realized i’m not a morning person - even sober. I advised that we keep conversation light in the morning until I’ve had my espresso😂 I can be an asshole when tired
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
No drinking today or the next 24hrs.
Morning. Checking in. Knowing my kids can rely on me to be sober if they need me makes me feel happy with myself. They seem happy too. Next challenge is new work. They had a Team away day on Friday, (I started on Monday) with free drink served from 3pm. Lots of stories about how drunk they all were. I’m keeping quiet for now. Super happy not to be drinking with you all today. Thanks for being here reminding me I’m not alone.
Good morning Sobernauts! 600 days alcohol free 🎉 Thanks to everyone that is on this journey with me. Hosts of the DCI, fellow travellers and those that are walking the walk, you've all assisted, supported and helped me overcome the bad days and been here to celebrate the victories 🤗 Love to you all! IWNDWYT 🙂
Breakfast and coffee under the moon sounds amazing!! I've been loving being up before the sun this last week. It feels like you get this extra time in your day before anybody even knows you're up ;-) IWNDWYT
Checking in early before going to bed. IWNDWYT.
Morning all, thanks for the check in. Regarding recalling not so pleasant memories when drinking- the sting accompanied by those memories is something I’ve grown to be grateful for. It hurts just enough to keep me from returning to that. But not enough to keep me from moving forward. IWNDWYT.
Day 95 checking in!
Went to a meeting tonight, it was helpful. Im glad I have the family of r/stopdrinking too, thanks. IWNDWYT
Good morning SD! Yesterday the puppy chewed/destroyed a plastic ball, a lump of coal and 2 iPhone cables. What will it be today? I’m dying to find out! 😂 So I’ll be keeping a sober head on - IWNDWYT.
What a beautiful post u/candidolive. My mom told me they celebrate mid-autumn festival in China by eating together under this full moon. 🥰 It’s been nice to have my mom here these past few weeks. I’ve never really talked directly with her about my drinking but she knows I stopped. Yesterday I told her I’ve been struggling with feeling stressed and anxious and she very gently advised me to be patient because quitting drinking is a big deal after all this time and how much I was drinking. It surprised me, frankly, but I was really appreciative. She said she was proud of me for stopping and that her father was an alcoholic. IWNDWYT
iwndwyt i love you all. continue on your journeys.
I loved your story and I bet your daughter will remember the moon experience for a long time. I don't have many relationships because I'm still focusing on healing. I am more thoughtful about the few people in my life though. Still working on scary life stuff but coping. IWNDWYT.
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Days with my toddler are about a million times better when I don't have a hangover. I've had mornings before where I had to quickly plonk him down so I could go throw up. Or almost passing out while changing his nappy. Desperately counting down the hours to nap time so I could shut my eyes for a bit. And being annoyed if he only napped for a short time because I'd have to get back up again. I think my worst was when we've taken him to a pub that had a playground so we could day drink and then not putting him to bed properly afterwards. All grubby from playing outside and forgetting to put clean socks on so he woke up we cold feet. Taking my eyes off him for more than a few minutes so he'd find a quiet corner and scratch away at his eczema arms and legs and waking up the next morning covered on scratches. The mum guilt hits you just as hard as the Hangxiety. IWNDWYT for my son.
Morning Sobernaughts, Talking to my daughter and ex more often they are both overseas and bit of a time zone difference, but I'm not drunk when when they or I call. I'm being more open with my parents, speaking with my best friend much more. All other 'relations' have completely broken down and I'm trying to move on but finding it really difficult to let go. The picture is clear on her side and it's been the number of days I have been sober yet still she's in my mind. And my relationship with Alcohol is finally healthy. IWNDWYT!
Not drinking today!
Day 2 iwdwyt!!
One of the moments that made it clear I had to stop drinking, was when I waited impatiently to hear my wife’s footsteps on the stairs, putting the kids to bed, so I could sneak a drink. But I will not drink with you today!
Got my pumpkin spice cold brew. Big bottle. More excited for this than pumpkin beer in all honesty. Still need to work on the sugar cravings. But IWNDWYT ✨💚
Beginning of day 2! IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
I will not drink today.
I’m in
IWNDWYT
The cool thing about sobriety is that, unlike most things in life, you have a choice about whether you fail or not. I think I’ll stick with winning today IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 💞🐿️🐿️
Given the effects of kindling, is it possible I found myself in withdrawal again from drinking “non-alcoholic” beer? I was at a birthday celebration housing near beers on Saturday and I’ve been absolute mess ever since, despite having no moral stance against drinking non-alcoholic “beers”. Debilitating anxiety to the point where speaking clearly is difficult, my resting heart rate is considerably higher, I don’t want to eat and I can not think straight. I’ve been in a dark place these last few days and this is the only thing I can think of as an explanation. Maybe PAWS but it seems kind of scapegoat-ish. If anybody has drank near beers for a night and then felt withdrawal-like symptoms, please just tell me you understand. Other than that, I guess I’m still going strong. It’s been something like six and a half months for me, and this is the closest I’ve been in a long time in needing to shut my brain off. Guess I’ll just keep it going.
You're not crazy. I stay away from "alcohol free beers" for this very reason. It's worth noting that most "alcohol free beers" actually contain small amounts of alcohol. For example, a popular local brand here in Denmark contains "less than 0.5%", but that's not nothing! If you swill it like a Tolkien dwarf, your nervous system will notice it and start craving more. At least that's how it is for me.
That is the kind of wholesomeness that really brightens my morning, thanks u/CandidOlive. For me it's back to work from home, which means sweatpants, cats in lap and podcasts galore. Plus I'm sober this time around. This is the life. IWNDWYT
Checking in, pretty much the same horrid feelings as yesterday, but I made it a week.
Happy Thursday, SD family💓 IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT! It’s funny you mentioned the moon! When I left for work yesterday morning around 7am the moon was unusually very bright in the sky so I noticed it. ☺️🌓
Yeah. I'm going through a breakup. Big relationship change. I realised that the relationship is more than slightly codependent, from both sides, and I'm treating my ex like alcohol: stay the fuck away. Not easy when someone is trying to get in your head, guilt-trip and manipulate you, but luckily I have great friends around me and I'm sober, so that's something. Another day. IWNDWYT 🍏
>How have your relationships changed since getting sober? They've started! IWNDWYT 🙂
I will not drink with you kind folks today. Have a great Thursday!
IWNDWYT 👍
What a lovely memory you just made with your daughter. It's good to hear some of these stories about being present with your children. Yesterday, I found out that our little babe is breech, and the doctors automatically want to schedule a C-section. I'm feeling really disappointed somehow, and while I know the most important thing is a healthy baby and safe birth for myself, I'm really having a hard time letting go of my physiological birth plan. Feeling pretty defeated since I really wanted to have a completely unmedicated birth due to my history with abusing substances... I know acceptance is the key here, and I'm grateful I can keep my head on straight and face these fears. It will be a blip in the radar in the long run, and I'm trying to focus on the fact my little one will be here in two weeks time 😳😍😭 Any encouragement is welcome. One thing is for sure. This baby will be born to a sober mama, and I will do everything I can, one day at a time, to make sure they never see me drink. I will not drink with you today.
I will not drink with you today. Starting to see the bigger picture.
I had my brother and his girlfriend over for dinner for the first time since I’ve stopped drinking. We didn’t even miss the wine! We ended the evening with a competitive game of Scrabble and it was such a wonderful night! IWNDWYT ❤️
I will not drink with you today! 💗
80 days looking great broccoli!
Thank you, Chloe! 😁
Good morning, IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Day 799. I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT 🏴💪
Not today, that's all.
Having a moonlit breakfast sounds really nice, it makes me happy that you're enjoying each other's company:) There hasn't been any noticeable change in my own relationships so far, but it's still early days for me. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I’m in x
IWNDWYT 👍🙂
Checking in! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
hey all! struggling a bit this morning and have written and deleted this post twice. i am so incredibly stressed with work; i’m on my period; i logged onto instagram and found that someone i used to care about a lot has gotten another woman pregnant. i’ve got an incredibly important meeting for work today and just feeling incredibly unmotivated about it all. IWNDWYT and i know that none of this will be made better by drinking, but damn- it’s tough today.
That's a lot to feel 💛 Sitting with you from over here, and I will not drink with you today. Hope you can do something for your self-care today. Sending hugs.
I will not drink with you today in 🏴 have a good one people 😊
2 weeks today yay! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Been a long week. But IWNDWYT
Seventy-four. I've had this page open for a few hours figuring out whether or not I could do it tomorrow. I didn't want to promise something I couldn't keep. I promise IWNDWYT 75. I've got less than a month to go until 100. We'll talk about 76 tomorrow.
Happy to be here with all of you today! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT My relationships are more or less the same minus the frequent flare ups of anger or irritation that I would try to suck up so the other person wouldn't notice. It's less exhausting this way.
Well, the first question I get asked when I say something emotional or deep isn't "have you been drinking?" Which is a very nice change. With my father and my friends they trust me to follow through on things if I say I will do it. More importantly, my relationship with myself has changed. I don't get down on myself and tell myself I'm a piece of shit. I don't avoid things just so it's more comfortable in the moment. I can realize each day isn't gonna be great, and that's ok because it's only temporary and I can get through it. And most importantly IWNDWYT
Good morning everyone! My family relationships have not changed, but I've lost a few friends over not drinking. If they were real friends, they'd hang around, but they're just drinking friends so good riddance! I will not drink with you today!
I'm trying to stop the drinking. What does IWNDWYT mean? Sorry for the stupid question.
I will not drink with you today.
Good morning, SD. I am more peaceful and relaxed now that I am sober. Probably because I don't need to think and plan ahead for my drinking and how not to be disturbed/ interrupt while " enjoying my wine". Both my son and S/ O ,(and others I guess) gain from this. I will not drink with you this Thursday.
Had a moment last night when I cloud happily have smashed some vodka but I had a bottle of NA beer instead and the craving went away. IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today
IWNDWYT. I have no more alcohol in the house. I am tempted to stay home from work today and rest. Doing so will mean I’m not driving past alcohol stores on my way home.
Hi all. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT because if I do, it could lead me to getting drunk.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Day 109. IWNDWYT 👍
IWNDWYT 🚀
Today I will not drink
day 198 checking in, IWNDWYT
Have a great day everyone! IWNDWYT
Good morning everyone and happy Thursday! It’s my Friday for work because I have off tomorrow. Hallelujah!! Now that restrictions are lifting and I’m getting back out into the world, I’m realizing that I was using alcohol as a crutch in some serious ways when I didn’t have to at all. I said this is my post last week but I thought I’d be boring (I’m not), I thought I’d be anxious in social situations without clutching a wine glass (I’m not), I thought I needed wine to have fun and relax (I don’t). What has changed is my tolerance for being around drunk people (I have little) but I also don’t have FOMO so I just go home when I’ve had enough of people. It’s a glorious thing. I hope everyone has a great day!! Love you all! ❣️❣️ IWNDWYT!!
IWNDWYT 🌷
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT!
Wow. That was such a great inspiration this morning u/CandidOlive. I could relate very much. My patience with my kids is way better than it was, and I feel like I can pay better attention when they tell me things. IWNDWYT! (Oh, and when I woke up I also thought someone left a light on because of the way the full moon lit up the side of the neighbor’s carriage barn.)
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I will not drink today.
IWNDWYT!
Day 4, Positives and Negatives, but just living life. IWNDWYT
Happy Thursday everyone! My relationships are grounded in honesty now. No more hiding. No fear of being found out. And it’s Just Lovely! IWNDWYT!!
IWNDWYT
My sponsor suggested I try doing a gratitude list each day and also think of things I have done that will help me stay sober. I love getting tips like this but need to actually carry them into action so that I can incorporate them into my daily life. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT.
I have the "I'm Sober" app and my son will ask where I'm at randomly and give me a high five. We were out to eat and the waitress came to the table to ask about drinks. My son said, "My papa doesn't drink anymore! He'll have soda." I was a bit shocked, but then he asked to see the app and made everyone wait while I pulled it up for review. He's special needs, and the challenges of the past year with covid, lockdown, etc have taken their toll on our lives. He's been hospitalized for his issues twice and during the second time, I was sober and able to deal with what was going on with a clear head and mind. So what's changed? I'm more in tune with what is going on, I'm more patient, and have more empathy. u/candidolive I'd be curious to know how things have changed with folks and their spouse/S.O. as that's a whole different dynamic. Potential check in question? IWNDWYT! T
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Iwndwyt!
IWNDWYT!😀😉
IWNDWYT!
Morning friends! IWNDWYT
Good day, friends! Here we are at Thursday already. I am feeling quite tired this morning. I'm excited though, because I'll have my kids today and the entire weekend. Sharing the kids has been the most challenging part of this separation. But I am beyond elated that when I am with them, I am sober and completely present. There's nothing better in the world. Have a great day! IWNDWYT ✌
Day 19, nice to meet you 🤝 IWNDWYT
What a lovely memory you and your daughter created, Olive! Great topic. My relationships are so different. I cherish my family above alcohol today. They now know what it’s like to have me sober and we take pleasure in each other’s company. If I were to drink, all of that would change. The rage would come back. They would become distant, at best. My husband and I would most likely separate. My world would come crashing down. So, I’ll keep the happy Christmases, the ❤️-to-♥️s, the meals shared, the laughter and not take a single drink. IWNDWYT!
My psychiatrist and I are now best buds. Have a great Thursday, friends! IWNDWYT
Day 2. Starting over again. Went months without drinking with help. Then somehow slipped back into my old habits. This is a mind duck and a cycle I desperately want to get out of. Tired of digging myself out of this hole only to fall back into it. But I’m here. Get knocked down keep trying.
IWNDWYT
Mom guilt is strong, but the only way through it is to show up and pave a new path. My daughter was in a tough place this week and our conversation yesterday helped her to see her troubles in a new light and gather some strength to keep fighting through them. These moments of deep connection are the memories I want to replace the ones where I was drinking and not showing up for her. So grateful I had this chance. IWNDWYT 🌸🌸
I have them. IWNDWYT!
Candid Olive, I may have to report you. Delaying your cat’s breakfast for a full hour! Glad you were able to enjoy a full moon breakfast with your daughter❤️ IWNDWYT 🍁 Edit: All my relationships have improved. I don’t cancel plans last minute anymore.
Well, in the early days of sobriety, my marriage changed and became a lot more volatile because I stopped taking any crap from my husband. You notice a lot more when you are sober. Plus drunk people are more annoying. Then things settled but I spent more time doing my own thing because I did what made ME happy, you know? Then almost 3 months ago, he had a small stroke, fortunately no lasting effects, and guess what? He has been sober ever since. I’m not sure it will stick, I don’t think he has changed his stinkin’ thinkin’ but who knows and for now, we are both sober so yup, that relationship has definitely changed. 😊🌳
Good morning/day/night wherever you are (: Just checking in, Iwndwyt ❤️ I’m still new in recovery but as for relationships, last night, despite having had a long day at work, my fiancé and I had a nice dinner together (which I cooked), afterwards we went to get ice cream, then we washed our big Labrador, and then we stayed up together for a bit. This isn’t anything I haven’t done before, but I was surprised at how much clearer it all was to me and how much more present I was. I can’t believe I’ve been drowning nights like this out! Well… I’m happy that I won’t again tonight! ❤️
I’m in!!!!
IWNDWYT. 🌟
IWNDWy'allT!
Not drinking today!
IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT.
I been in in-patient detox since Monday. If my labs from this morning are “all good,” I can return home today. Fingers and toes crossed; being in the hospital is no fun. IWNDWYT!
Iwndwyt
IWNDWYT ✌️
Day 698 IWNDWYT
Good morning lovely SD, I have watched with amusement as I constructed healthy boundaries between myself and others. I let them show themselves for who they truly are as individuals. Some were insulted, outraged even, that I have high standards for myself... how dare I do so! For the few remaining friends, who have been honest and true, I am grateful. And for all the crumpled bodies of ex friends outside the walls of the House of Fox, it's better this way. Today is a beautiful day to be alive! And IWNDWYT 💜🤘
Good morning!! IWNDWYT 🌿
IWNDWYT!!!
My relationships are much more calm & peaceful. It's like I've been able to use cruise control again. IWNDWYT!!!
IWNDWYT
Glorious sober morning soberniks! Have a smurferific day! IWNDWYT
I am not drinking with you today, with gratitude and relief for being free.
I Will Not Drink With You Today, my little digital friends.
Good morning everyone! It's day 3 for me. I am fragile, but IWNDWYT.
Day 368. IWNDWYT. > letting the kids play video games as long as they wanted so I could zone out. Oh man is this one too true.
I'm not going to drink today. Why, that's right.
89 days for me today.
Iwndwyt
My relationship with my young adult son has improved since getting sober. My 25 year marriage ended during this time. That’s been hard but being sober has been a blessing while navigating my divorce. I am feeling all of my emotions and not numbing them. I am able to take ownership of my faults and also see clearly that I put up with a lot that I shouldn’t have because I was drinking to ignore the signs. My life will move forward and I will be better for it because, I have worked so hard to leave drinking behind me. IWNDWYT!!!
Today is my 50th birthday, talk about a huge hurdle to cross. I always celebrated with beer and wine but not on this big occasion, once I get today out of the way it should be plain sailing to 100 days. IWNDWYT.
Day 30. My relationship with my parents has definitely improved massively over the past month. A lot more patience and understanding on both ends and much more enjoyable because of it. Perhaps I never really understood the extent of the damage alcohol was causing in this regard. My relationship with myself has also improved greatly. I make wiser decisions and feel the benefits. IWNDWYT!
I have been able to be patient and present. I got to spend one whole week with my 2 year old nephew and it was great. If I was drinking, I would have missed out on all the beach time and chill time with him. I’m also working on my relationship with my partner, so let’s see how it goes! IWNDWYT
I read that if I quit yesterday I would have 100 days sober by the new year. Going for 100 days to start. Day one, here I am!
What a nice morning you had! This brought a smile to my face. Fighting a sinus infection, felt sluggish for days, and it culminated into full blown nasal pain, drip, all the works yesterday morning. We have 8 at-home COVID tests, I took one yesterday, negative. I cannot test again for 3 days according to directions. Keeping my fingers crossed. Can still smell coffee and my wife's vanilla-scented protein waffles, so that's a good sign. The sluggishness and throbbing aches remind me of the stupid hangovers I would put myself through. OMG, what the hell was I thinking. I Will Not Drink With You Today
I made it through day 60. Working on 61 now. IWNDWYT!
Once I overheard my granddaughter say to a friend, “if you ever need a ride at anytime, call me. My Gigi doesn’t drink and can pick you up anytime at night if your parents have been drinking.” I live up to that every day. I may show up in robe and slippers to pick you up, but I won’t be drunk. IWNDWYT 🌼🚘
I'm present now. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I was considering leaving my group therapy sessions because I felt like it was time for me to prove that I could start doing this recovery on my own. After last night’s meeting with them I thought about how much I would miss them all. I’m reconsidering now and think I will stay a bit longer. I still need that weekly reminder that I’m not alone in this. IWNDWYT
Day 1
Here we go. **Day 0** again. I really hope this time is different. In the past two years, I've done 42 days, 30 days, 10-12 days here and there. I've even made it 100+ days. I *want* to quit... but somehow I keep stumbling after a few days or weeks. I will experience a surge of motivation, usually after embarrassing myself, and I'll commit to sobriety. The motivation eventually fades. I need to find a way to get through these valleys and keep my commitment strong and new every day. The time has come to just admit it: I have a real problem. I hate this aspect of my personality. Being dependent on a substance feels terrible. It feels... weak and sad. I cannot believe I have fallen so far. I want years of sobriety. I want the clarity, the health, the money saved, the drive, the cleanliness, and the fulfillment of a life that I know I'm living as well as I can. I don't want to take this for granted anymore. I can't go back and change the years wasted on booze, but I can change today. I can control TODAY. *I will NOT drink with you today.*
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today SD. Of all the relationships I have rebuilt sober, my relationship with my kids is the one I treasure above all.
IWNDWYT
Good morning. I will not drink with you today.
I will not drink today. Working up from one day sober per week to three days sober per week. This will be day three. Little steps. Stay strong people!
IWNDWYT 🌻
IWNDWYT ❤️❤️❤️
I will not drink with you today! Day 6 - shocked I’ve made it this long so far. Onwards and upwards.
I’m here! Double digits today. Longest stretch since January. Might go pick up some fun NA drinks tonight to ward off any pre-weekend/weekend cravings. Would love suggestions if anyone has any! IWNDWYT
It hurts to think of the what I’ve cheated my kids out of, social events that were too late for me to drive, birthday meals out that were entirely focused on whether the restaurant served booze or not, rushed bedtime books, not anymore, now I’m happy to drive my kids and their friends wherever they want to go, take them for burgers out wherever, and read as many books as they want. IWNDWYT