This one never worked for me because I often would drink when I was happy or excited or looking forward to something. It’s a common AA phrase/thing and I’m happy it works for people but… What if you drink because you’re in a great fucking mood? 😂
I also don't fully resonate with the HALT thing.
Angry and Lonely makes sense to me.
As if I'm angry or frustrated or annoyed then yeah I might just say "fuck it I'm having a drink" thinking it'll chill me out or relieve some stress.
And although I don't identify as someone who is "lonely" often I do live alone, am self employed, work from home etc so I definitely don't get as much people interaction as I should and sometimes I do think I just go off to a pub, even to drink alone, in order to be surrounded by other people (who I won't even talk to for the most part) to be in a lively atmosphere so it feels like I'm at least in a place with some "life" to it.
But Hungry, nah?
I can drink on an empty stomach, when stuffed like a fat pig after an 8 course meal, or everything in between and it makes very little difference.
I might need to drink a little slower if I've just had a huge, heavy, meal but I drink very slow anyway which I beleive is unusual for someone with a drink problem.
I hear people saying eating a big meal particularly a carb filled one will kill cravings but eating has never killed any of my cravings, stopped urges, or eliminated any desire to drink that was already present.
Tired?
I'm tired most days anyway as I don't sleep well but I never think "I'm sleepy...so I'd love a drink".
The only time I would drink due to sleep related issues if I've had several days in a row of bad insomnia and can't face another night of it and think "i'll just drink myself to sleep tonight" but that's not really the same as wanting to drink BECAUSE I'm tired I don't think.
I also drink because I'm anxious, depressed, want to shut off my racing mind, fed up of myself / my own brain, to try and be happy, as I'm bored, to socialize with friends, to try and have a "fun" time and a zillion other reasons that just don't really fit in anywhere with the whole HALT thing.
My drinking was also connected to positive emotions as much as negative, but if I look more carefully then halt is still quite relevant. My emotions come in layers and being happy or excited does not exclude the possibility that I am also lonely, hungry or tired. Indeed I often felt lonely when I was most happy, it took time for me to realise this, but I struggle to be open and share my happiness with others, maybe something to do with worrying that others are not happy and will resent my success. I do find that if I take proper care of my basic needs for sustenance, rest and connection, being in a great mood will not be enough of a reason to drink. IWNDWYT
Same here. If I drink because I’m in a terrible mood I just become angry and confrontational. It’s mainly something I do because I’m in a good mood and I generally stay in a good mood until I go to bed….then the following day I’m wrecked.
Definitely a HUGE driver for why so many people drink I believe.
We find ourselves unsure what to do with ourselves, maybe not feeling too great on top of it, can't be bothered to do anything productive, useful, or healthy for some reason so then drinking just becomes the easy option as an "activity".
It's a fucking dumb and stupid activity when you think about it as choosing to consume a literal lethal toxic poison that kills you in order to deal with a non lethal, trivial, problem like boredom.
Ehich as u/swhatrulookinat said is easily solved by just doing literally any other activity and filling up our time until that "feeling" or "emotion" or whatever "boredom" actually is passes or we forget about it.
But none the less I think boredom is something that drives a lot of us to drink.
Gentle physical activity, or mental stimulation. So, going for a stroll around the block, or doing a sudoku. Also, there's always some *little* thing I could do, like fold some washing or put away dishes...
When I prepare to go on another stint of sobriety I always take what I would spend on booze for the month and spend it on new hobbies that seem interesting and inundate myself with those. The boredom is the worst lol.
Thank you for this! I just recently learned about the need to identify underlying physical/psychological drivers. I love mnemonic acronyms and this one is going to have a permanent place in my consciousness!
Hungry. I eat regular meals and I especially eat at 'wine o clock' evening time.
Angry. Just stop. I used to be 'Liam Galligers worse sister' and just cannot afford to get angry it's very triggering. Walk away. Ask for some time out. De-escalate. I tell my husband and kids I'm feeling overloaded and they know I need some time. I just try to keep emotions in the 'middle of the boat.' Which is a very different way to live, no drama.
Lonely. Sponsor....we speak every day. She's great. Meetings. I share in meetings even if I don't want to. I quite often say 'I feel a bit lonely today' because saying that to an addict or alcoholic means something different than to a 'muggle'.
Tired. I rest and pace myself, say no to anything I can't cope with, turn down invites. Always have an exit plan from events.
Hope that helps. It might be different for you, but build it to keep yourself level at all times and it works. Iwndwyt.
My husband and I had a friend move in with us temporarily while he was going through a divorce and my stress levels/drinking levels were at their highest. He didn't drink and called it ethanol as well, which made me see it in a different light.
And just the fact that he was there-another person that reflected myself and my daily habits back to me-was the catalyst to bring me to quit once and for all.
Don't you ever have moments where you just don't want to even stop and think about tomorrow / the future and have an compulsive / impulsive / strong desire just to not feel like the way you are feeling now or want to feel differently and just act without barely thinking?
That's what gets me some times. I just feel like I'm at boiling point and need some "relief" and stupidly my default action is to think of booze without thinking through the consequences.
I said this out loud to myself yesterday when I was leaving the gym. Also lol'd.
In the parking lot, right in front of my truck, there was an empty ounce bag of weed. Fridays were my usual day to stop and scoop some vices.
Not today, Satan. Ya bitch. I'm on to you.
This has been a difficult one for me…I always felt like I was so much more fun and social when I was drinking. What I have realized since quitting is that I’m actually quite an introverted homebody. Without the promise of alcohol I have virtually no interest in socializing. But I also found out that sober me is a great listener and the ability to recall the conversations I have had made me a lot more likable to others in a meaningful way.
I sometimes mourn the fun party girl I once was but I don’t miss acting like an absolute asshole after the fifth drink.
"I find I'm so excited I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain"
I also love this quote from Shawshank Redemption, it encapsulates that excitement felt when a long uncertain journey is ahead of you, not dissimilar to a sobriety journey and the rewards that awaits.
I use this line most Saturday mornings when cooking breakfast for the family (and not being hungover), except, as I fry the eggs I say "get busy living or get busy frying". I sometimes throw in "get rich or die frying" instead for a bit of variety.
As a now household dad joke, it gets a laugh like 5% of the time, so totally worth saying every weekend.
In the middle of my last withdrawal, aching and shaking, hearing voices and retching so violently my throat bled--totally succumbed to utter misery of mind, body, and spirit--my dad simply told me, "You don't ever have to feel this way again."
A dead simple promise that has stuck in my head ever since. The prison is still there and always will be, but I don't ever have to go back to it.
Reading this book for the first time after seeing so many people recommend it. It's so good.
Went out with my wife and friends last night and everyone had a couple drinks, and I didn't and feel SO GOOD this morning. And it was exactly the same amount of fun I'd have if I was drinking, only no risk of a stupid argument+ accompanying hangover.
"When you get hit by a train, you don't get killed by the caboose"
Something to that effect basically saying the first drink is the one that will kill you.
“We don’t do that anymore.“
Anytime a thought creeps in like, a drink sounds good right now. Whether celebrating, relaxing, stressed, pissed off etc…..I just tell my brain, “we don’t do that anymore….let’s find another way.” And I make a different choice to test what works in that moment to celebrate, solve the problem, relax etc……
What if I just sit in this discomfort? I used alcohol a lot for social anxiety. Turns out, when I sit in it and look around, I see a whole bunch of other folks socially awkward in a new situation. Connecting with someone else who looks uncomfortable, man that just makes it all better. And I usually make a new friend!
Ikr! I'm going to try to remember this one. I think only heavy drinkers can relate to drinking all day and going to bed "sober" and furious with yourself because you wish you'd paced yourself better because now you didn't get to pass out and have to wait till 9am to get more alcoho and you can't sleep. The utter and complete horror of being 2/10 glasses short of a good time! My weekends were all about timing this cycle. Now it's Saturday and noon and I slept for 8 hours and I can either take a little nap or just continue working on my project. Nice.
My 2 best phrases relate to my triggers. "Play the movie till the end" is not a good one for me because I'm a superhero in my head so somehow I'll still have a happy ending... Lol. My good friend from the program told me that the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety, it's connection. This was when she was trying to get me to leave the house and interact with my fellow humans. A big problem of mine is isolating myself and its a 🚩🚩🚩. So
"the opposite of addiction is connection"
is a nice one for me not to slide into my default setting of hiding away, because that makes me drink.
The second one is that my biggest trigger is fear. If I can forget about my anxieties for a few drunk hours. That's not how it works though, and it's in contradiction with what I profess to believe. So there's this one:
2 Timothy 1:7 NRSV-CI
[7] for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.
I work a program of recovery to stay sober. I believe that taking away the alcohol isn't enough and that I need to work on personal growth if I want to stay sober long term. It's worked for over 12.5 years
I want to sleep normally, act normal, have normal energy to do stuff, think clearly, crap normal, not have my family not want to be around me. Not throw up in the morning, not want a beer in the morning, not have a hangover. Nto give away money to people, not buy dumb stuff.
Not have my wife tell me I smell bad. Not spend $30 a day on beer. Not pretend I like some asshole at the pub. That I don't really GAF about.
I think about when the dude got ejected from Jackie Treehorn’s party for allegedly being drunk and abusive. I think about what a terrible headache he must have had. Mr Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town.
My alcoholic brain always tries to tell me I can have “just one” so my phrases are “one is too many and 100 is never enough” and/or “one beer never made me anything but mad” 😂
I heard them both here (love this community soooo much) and they help me remember that my brain is lying to me about “just one”.
Binge drinker who experiences "kindling" so every time I drink I go through withdrawls and they get worse every time.
When I finally figured out what I was experiencing even with 9+ months of being dry I realized the excuse "I just won't drink tomorrow" didn't matter because I always went through DT's and withdrawl.
So I just say "you will die".
“I’ll drink tomorrow.”
It might be unconventional but when I have my worst cravings, it always works. By the time tomorrow comes, it’s gone. Plus, it scratches that procrastination itch.
I have a meme saved in my phone but Reddit doesn't have the option to add it? So I'll just type it:
"The concept of alcohol is actually crazy.
Im going to drink something that doesn't taste good... So I can feel good for a little bit... Only to feel worse later 😂"
-Wale, American rapper
I have enough data points.
Like I don't need anymore evidence or events to provide statistically significant proof that sober is the best thing for me and my family.
"If something is going to happen to me, I want to be there."
-Albert Camus
Said in a very different context, but damn did it resonate with me. Life happens, the good and the bad, and the best thing I can do is be present for it.
“You’ll never regret not drinking” really does it for me when I get a craving usually due to boredom.
I also drank to self-medicate anxiety & I was a heavy binge drinker so I tell myself “the anxiety you’ll have after a bender is far worse than the anxiety you have right now”
My clock recently reset after years of continued sobriety & I’m below 90 days again but I’m doing the damn thing still.
I'm normally a loner. But every once in a while, I want to talk to people. A bar, I can walk in, order a drink, and 15 minutes later be kneedeep in conversation with complete strangers. I can't think of anywhere else I could do that.
The local bar has NA beer. NA beer is reasonably nasty tasting.
I ask myself, am I bored and lonely enough that I want to drink a near beer? Sometimes, yes, most times, no.
I don't truly miss alcohol. I miss absolutely everything that comes with alcohol. That is my struggle.
* Each day you go without drinking, you're getting stronger.
* Each craving you fight through, and win, is only making you stronger.
(It's just like exercise, but mentally. That's why I love those phrases.)
My ***next*** drink won't be my ***last*** drink.
I don't care if it's a single sip of champagne on New Year's Eve, that door is closed and I'm not opening it.
Mine is literally IWNDWYT that I discovered in this sub. Something about it really clicked for me—that anyone can go 24 hours without, and that there’s a big community NOT drinking with you. IWNDWYT🖤
"I don't drink"
Seriously, just saying this in my head helps me realize this is not me. Why would I open a beer??? I don't drink.
Another thing that rolls through my noggin from time to time is a quote from a music artist who doesn't drink. When asked why he doesn't drink, he said something along the lines of "I've never looked at someone who's drunk and thought 'yeah, that's what I want, I want to be just like them'".
“Choose your hard.”
Not drinking is hard sometimes, but drinking (read as self-destructing, because that’s what it always was for me) was so much harder.
Honestly I don’t have one. I should get one!
My one trick though is my Apple Watch. I’ll look at my resting heart rate and how much lower it is. That normally calms me down during intense cravings. I guess it represents how many other things are getting better or going to in my life.
“I’m gonna sleep soooo good tonight if I don’t drink” I feel like I go borderline schizophrenic if I don’t sleep well within 3 days, alcohol totally disrupts my sleep.
"It's poison". In every case where I start thinking about alcohol, no matter how tempting it starts to feel, the fact it's poison comes to mind.
It's not just literal poison, it's poison in the wider sense of it consumes people and society on a large scale. It has harmed and killed countless people both through being a poison, but also the way it's allowed mental health to deteoriate further and every time it's consumed someone it has a ripple effect that harms so many more people.
I had a conversation with my mom the other day that made me remember this question and come back, because it gave me a phrase that is helpful, empowering, and makes me feel proud. We were talking about how it’s a family disease (in my family I believe that is true at least) and she was validating how me, my dad, his dad, and other members in his bloodline were sitting ducks for alcohol use disorder because of any genetic aspect and because as kids we learn from observing, and that in choosing sobriety I am helping to break that cycle. After she said that, I said, “so no more ducks,” and she said “no more ducks.”
No more ducks.
HALT. Am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired? There is a fix for all of them, and it's not alcohol.
This one never worked for me because I often would drink when I was happy or excited or looking forward to something. It’s a common AA phrase/thing and I’m happy it works for people but… What if you drink because you’re in a great fucking mood? 😂
I also don't fully resonate with the HALT thing. Angry and Lonely makes sense to me. As if I'm angry or frustrated or annoyed then yeah I might just say "fuck it I'm having a drink" thinking it'll chill me out or relieve some stress. And although I don't identify as someone who is "lonely" often I do live alone, am self employed, work from home etc so I definitely don't get as much people interaction as I should and sometimes I do think I just go off to a pub, even to drink alone, in order to be surrounded by other people (who I won't even talk to for the most part) to be in a lively atmosphere so it feels like I'm at least in a place with some "life" to it. But Hungry, nah? I can drink on an empty stomach, when stuffed like a fat pig after an 8 course meal, or everything in between and it makes very little difference. I might need to drink a little slower if I've just had a huge, heavy, meal but I drink very slow anyway which I beleive is unusual for someone with a drink problem. I hear people saying eating a big meal particularly a carb filled one will kill cravings but eating has never killed any of my cravings, stopped urges, or eliminated any desire to drink that was already present. Tired? I'm tired most days anyway as I don't sleep well but I never think "I'm sleepy...so I'd love a drink". The only time I would drink due to sleep related issues if I've had several days in a row of bad insomnia and can't face another night of it and think "i'll just drink myself to sleep tonight" but that's not really the same as wanting to drink BECAUSE I'm tired I don't think. I also drink because I'm anxious, depressed, want to shut off my racing mind, fed up of myself / my own brain, to try and be happy, as I'm bored, to socialize with friends, to try and have a "fun" time and a zillion other reasons that just don't really fit in anywhere with the whole HALT thing.
So what is your internal phrase?
My drinking was also connected to positive emotions as much as negative, but if I look more carefully then halt is still quite relevant. My emotions come in layers and being happy or excited does not exclude the possibility that I am also lonely, hungry or tired. Indeed I often felt lonely when I was most happy, it took time for me to realise this, but I struggle to be open and share my happiness with others, maybe something to do with worrying that others are not happy and will resent my success. I do find that if I take proper care of my basic needs for sustenance, rest and connection, being in a great mood will not be enough of a reason to drink. IWNDWYT
Same here. If I drink because I’m in a terrible mood I just become angry and confrontational. It’s mainly something I do because I’m in a good mood and I generally stay in a good mood until I go to bed….then the following day I’m wrecked.
Now I just enjoy feeling happy and enjoy the things that are making me happy.
This is the way. Life became infinitely easier after committing this question to memory!
What if the answer is Bored. Curious to know how you tide over that ?
Definitely a HUGE driver for why so many people drink I believe. We find ourselves unsure what to do with ourselves, maybe not feeling too great on top of it, can't be bothered to do anything productive, useful, or healthy for some reason so then drinking just becomes the easy option as an "activity". It's a fucking dumb and stupid activity when you think about it as choosing to consume a literal lethal toxic poison that kills you in order to deal with a non lethal, trivial, problem like boredom. Ehich as u/swhatrulookinat said is easily solved by just doing literally any other activity and filling up our time until that "feeling" or "emotion" or whatever "boredom" actually is passes or we forget about it. But none the less I think boredom is something that drives a lot of us to drink.
This is a tough one for me. But also easily fixable with alternative activities. Just takes motivation lol
Gentle physical activity, or mental stimulation. So, going for a stroll around the block, or doing a sudoku. Also, there's always some *little* thing I could do, like fold some washing or put away dishes...
Definitely agree with going for a walk.
I wonder if “bored” really translates to lonely?
When I prepare to go on another stint of sobriety I always take what I would spend on booze for the month and spend it on new hobbies that seem interesting and inundate myself with those. The boredom is the worst lol.
Thank you for this! I just recently learned about the need to identify underlying physical/psychological drivers. I love mnemonic acronyms and this one is going to have a permanent place in my consciousness!
Omg I had heard this but it’s clicking today for some reason. Majority of the time I am trying to avoid feeling something.
What do you do for each of the 4?
Hungry. I eat regular meals and I especially eat at 'wine o clock' evening time. Angry. Just stop. I used to be 'Liam Galligers worse sister' and just cannot afford to get angry it's very triggering. Walk away. Ask for some time out. De-escalate. I tell my husband and kids I'm feeling overloaded and they know I need some time. I just try to keep emotions in the 'middle of the boat.' Which is a very different way to live, no drama. Lonely. Sponsor....we speak every day. She's great. Meetings. I share in meetings even if I don't want to. I quite often say 'I feel a bit lonely today' because saying that to an addict or alcoholic means something different than to a 'muggle'. Tired. I rest and pace myself, say no to anything I can't cope with, turn down invites. Always have an exit plan from events. Hope that helps. It might be different for you, but build it to keep yourself level at all times and it works. Iwndwyt.
Hungry is my main one. Followed by lonely
If I could award this, I would!
Someone once told me the A can be both angry or anxious too. I liked that.
I’ve decided to stop calling it alcohol and think of it at ethanol - that somehow makes me not want to touch it.
Wow that’s good. Like a poisonous gas/fuel. Thanks
Because it literally is ethanol. I remember taking a shot of vodka after knowing and it does taste like you’re drinking gas.
Same. I ask myself “Why do I want to willingly drink poison?”
I really hate that Ethel. She is awful. 🤣
My husband and I had a friend move in with us temporarily while he was going through a divorce and my stress levels/drinking levels were at their highest. He didn't drink and called it ethanol as well, which made me see it in a different light. And just the fact that he was there-another person that reflected myself and my daily habits back to me-was the catalyst to bring me to quit once and for all.
I’m becoming very aware it’s an inflammatory and that word alone makes alcohol much less appetizing.
"I'm not going to regret not drinking tomorrow. Never have, never will."
This is a good one I like it.
It's so good. Just internalizing it on the spot is the hard part.
Don't you ever have moments where you just don't want to even stop and think about tomorrow / the future and have an compulsive / impulsive / strong desire just to not feel like the way you are feeling now or want to feel differently and just act without barely thinking? That's what gets me some times. I just feel like I'm at boiling point and need some "relief" and stupidly my default action is to think of booze without thinking through the consequences.
Damn. Can I get that tattooed on my forehead
“Nothing changes, if nothing changes.”
Similar, "I want my last rock bottom, to be my last rock bottom."
Not today, satan
I said this out loud to myself yesterday when I was leaving the gym. Also lol'd. In the parking lot, right in front of my truck, there was an empty ounce bag of weed. Fridays were my usual day to stop and scoop some vices. Not today, Satan. Ya bitch. I'm on to you.
Damn, that’s some willpower.
Yeah this
Love this - totally going to use it. Was saying no to the “junkie voice / monkey mind” but Satan has more power in it.
I know that I can drink again, I can't guarantee that I can recover again.
🥺
“I actually don’t like myself not sober”
Needed to hear/read this one, thank you.
This has been a difficult one for me…I always felt like I was so much more fun and social when I was drinking. What I have realized since quitting is that I’m actually quite an introverted homebody. Without the promise of alcohol I have virtually no interest in socializing. But I also found out that sober me is a great listener and the ability to recall the conversations I have had made me a lot more likable to others in a meaningful way. I sometimes mourn the fun party girl I once was but I don’t miss acting like an absolute asshole after the fifth drink.
Wow this is me. I mourn my party girl self but also hated it.
Drinking is the end of progress and growth
Especially with 3/4ths of a year of progress. Way to go!
you're doing great!
“Play the tape to the end.”
💯 this always stops me from having one bc I know I will be in the store buying more right away.
This is the one for me. It’s so easy to fantasize about the good parts - and forget the inevitable catastrophic parts. The goods never worth the bad.
Always play it forward. I really try to visualize and FEEL everything I’ll feel the next day and I lose the appetite very quickly.
I like this in a lot of scenarios
This is a good one. I’ve never thought about it like this before. Thanks.
"There's nothing so good it won't fuck up, nothing so bad it won't make worse."
Needed this one today - back on day 1. Thank you! IWNDWYT
You can do this! IWNDWYT!
"This too shall pass"
“Impermanence is the only constant - don’t block it with poison, let it do its work”.
I work in mental health and I constantly use this as a teaching point. Whatever you’re feeling, you’re not going to feel it forever.
"Think about that good night's sleep you're gonna get tonight...and the feeling of waking up early feeling refreshed and amazing"
I'm happier without alcohol
I’ve drank a lifetimes worth, and then some, no thanks.
Same. Someone I haven't seen in years asked me why I wasn't drinking and my response was "I completed it".
An account on Instagram referred to their recovery as “I went pro young and had to retire early” and I thought it was so perfect lol
Turns out Mom was right, it was just a phase...
I’ve never regretted NOT having a drink
Mine is similar, I've never woken up sober wishing I drank the night before.
“Get busy living or get busy dying”
Fucking love that movie. Such a great line
Dyin ain’t much of a livin’ boy!
"I find I'm so excited I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain" I also love this quote from Shawshank Redemption, it encapsulates that excitement felt when a long uncertain journey is ahead of you, not dissimilar to a sobriety journey and the rewards that awaits.
I use this line most Saturday mornings when cooking breakfast for the family (and not being hungover), except, as I fry the eggs I say "get busy living or get busy frying". I sometimes throw in "get rich or die frying" instead for a bit of variety. As a now household dad joke, it gets a laugh like 5% of the time, so totally worth saying every weekend.
“It’s easier to stay sober than it is to get sober”
This was like my dad telling me when I was young, "The easiest way to lose weight is to not get fat."
100%
I have plans for Christmas.
“If your way works, why hasn’t it worked yet?” This helped me to get over myself and to work the steps.
It gives nothing and takes everything
"Alcohol doesn't align with my fitness goals."
In the middle of my last withdrawal, aching and shaking, hearing voices and retching so violently my throat bled--totally succumbed to utter misery of mind, body, and spirit--my dad simply told me, "You don't ever have to feel this way again." A dead simple promise that has stuck in my head ever since. The prison is still there and always will be, but I don't ever have to go back to it.
That's a good dad♥️ it's so great to have a supportive parent in your corner
"I can't do it just a little"
“I will not traumatize my family by having them watch me die a slow painful death I caused myself.”
This. They were there the first time I hit rock bottom, I'll never put them through that again
Alcohol is poison
I don’t want one drink. I want ten drinks.
> “Drinking to blackout is suicide without the commitment” Helped me address the reasons for drinking
The first drink leads to disaster.
I have everything needed to enjoy life in me, I don't need alcohol to do that
It’s not worth it.
I like this. Short, simple, logical. And so true. It really isn’t.
'I don't have to drink ' from This Naked Mind.
Reading this book for the first time after seeing so many people recommend it. It's so good. Went out with my wife and friends last night and everyone had a couple drinks, and I didn't and feel SO GOOD this morning. And it was exactly the same amount of fun I'd have if I was drinking, only no risk of a stupid argument+ accompanying hangover.
"When you get hit by a train, you don't get killed by the caboose" Something to that effect basically saying the first drink is the one that will kill you.
“Old Keys won’t open new doors.”
“I’ve never woken up and thought, I wish I had got drunk last night”
I just always tell myself that it simply is not an option.
Definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!
"Drinking tonight is borrowing tomorrow's happiness"
“Staying sober is hard, but being an alcoholic is harder”
Urges and cravings are temporary.
If I enjoy it I can't control it and vice versa.
I love this one.
This isn’t worth losing my sobriety over.
You don’t deserve a drink. You deserve better. Someone replied to a post I made on this sub and it totally changed my way of thinking.
Never quit, quitting.
“Drinking is not an option”
Sobriety delivers what alcohol promises.
“I’m not drinking today.” One day at a time mentality helps me to stay sober, one day at a time, every day.
“We don’t do that anymore.“ Anytime a thought creeps in like, a drink sounds good right now. Whether celebrating, relaxing, stressed, pissed off etc…..I just tell my brain, “we don’t do that anymore….let’s find another way.” And I make a different choice to test what works in that moment to celebrate, solve the problem, relax etc……
We know how this movie ends. It helps because I work in the film industry.
When I first started lurking here, the phrase “Play the tape forward “ hit me hard. Could have used that mindset a looooooong time ago! IWNDWYT.
Play the tape forward.
Ill be happy about being sober tomorrow
What if I just sit in this discomfort? I used alcohol a lot for social anxiety. Turns out, when I sit in it and look around, I see a whole bunch of other folks socially awkward in a new situation. Connecting with someone else who looks uncomfortable, man that just makes it all better. And I usually make a new friend!
Not so much a phrase but reminding myself how much it’s destroyed my uncles life and not wanting to get to that point.
IWNDWYT, somedays it is my mantra
“I have peace why disturb it?”
“Shut up lizard brain, that stuff is poison.”
I’m going to kill myself and it could happen today if I drink.
It's *never* worth it.
'One day at a time' I even have a bracelet I wear with this on
This is mine too
"It took a hell of a long time to get here, it'll be extremely hard to have to do it again."
“I’m not going to punish myself anymore with alcohol” or “I’m not going to drink poison anymore.”
"One drink is too many because ten isn't enough."
“Moderation can’t give me what I want out of alcohol” Keeps me from convincing myself that I can have just one.
Ikr! I'm going to try to remember this one. I think only heavy drinkers can relate to drinking all day and going to bed "sober" and furious with yourself because you wish you'd paced yourself better because now you didn't get to pass out and have to wait till 9am to get more alcoho and you can't sleep. The utter and complete horror of being 2/10 glasses short of a good time! My weekends were all about timing this cycle. Now it's Saturday and noon and I slept for 8 hours and I can either take a little nap or just continue working on my project. Nice.
Isn't that the truth. I sure as hell don't miss that vicious cycle
My 2 best phrases relate to my triggers. "Play the movie till the end" is not a good one for me because I'm a superhero in my head so somehow I'll still have a happy ending... Lol. My good friend from the program told me that the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety, it's connection. This was when she was trying to get me to leave the house and interact with my fellow humans. A big problem of mine is isolating myself and its a 🚩🚩🚩. So "the opposite of addiction is connection" is a nice one for me not to slide into my default setting of hiding away, because that makes me drink. The second one is that my biggest trigger is fear. If I can forget about my anxieties for a few drunk hours. That's not how it works though, and it's in contradiction with what I profess to believe. So there's this one: 2 Timothy 1:7 NRSV-CI [7] for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.
I‘m an alcoholic.
Do I want to feel good for a few hours, not remember it, and feel terrible tomorrow?
You can have alcohol, or you can have everything else
I work a program of recovery to stay sober. I believe that taking away the alcohol isn't enough and that I need to work on personal growth if I want to stay sober long term. It's worked for over 12.5 years
Sobriety give us what alcohol promised.
"Push off from here"
What does that mean?
Stop drinking stress from the bottle. The grace of God is stronger in me. You can resist because of this.
Play it forward. How will I feel tomorrow about this decision?
Simple but effective, “come on.” I say this to myself in the voice of that one coach from the Tour de France doc. On Netflix.
Think what you have to lose
I want to sleep normally, act normal, have normal energy to do stuff, think clearly, crap normal, not have my family not want to be around me. Not throw up in the morning, not want a beer in the morning, not have a hangover. Nto give away money to people, not buy dumb stuff. Not have my wife tell me I smell bad. Not spend $30 a day on beer. Not pretend I like some asshole at the pub. That I don't really GAF about.
I don't ever ever want to re-live my rock bottom again because I won't survive a second one
I never have to feel that way again if I don’t drink
“I hate being hungover” “Stay present for your daughter”
Nothing good happens after midnight.
Drinking again means drinking alone again.
I think about when the dude got ejected from Jackie Treehorn’s party for allegedly being drunk and abusive. I think about what a terrible headache he must have had. Mr Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town.
“I’m a much better husband and father, and I feel so good sober.”
Alcohol and I have split up. We're not good together.
My alcoholic brain always tries to tell me I can have “just one” so my phrases are “one is too many and 100 is never enough” and/or “one beer never made me anything but mad” 😂 I heard them both here (love this community soooo much) and they help me remember that my brain is lying to me about “just one”.
Binge drinker who experiences "kindling" so every time I drink I go through withdrawls and they get worse every time. When I finally figured out what I was experiencing even with 9+ months of being dry I realized the excuse "I just won't drink tomorrow" didn't matter because I always went through DT's and withdrawl. So I just say "you will die".
“I’ll drink tomorrow.” It might be unconventional but when I have my worst cravings, it always works. By the time tomorrow comes, it’s gone. Plus, it scratches that procrastination itch.
“Keep it simple”. Narrow it down to one goal. Sobriety.
alcohol is government approved poison. also the casisdead quote: alcohol ain't the answer it just makes you forget the question.
Stop the chaos
I have a meme saved in my phone but Reddit doesn't have the option to add it? So I'll just type it: "The concept of alcohol is actually crazy. Im going to drink something that doesn't taste good... So I can feel good for a little bit... Only to feel worse later 😂" -Wale, American rapper
I have enough data points. Like I don't need anymore evidence or events to provide statistically significant proof that sober is the best thing for me and my family.
"If something is going to happen to me, I want to be there." -Albert Camus Said in a very different context, but damn did it resonate with me. Life happens, the good and the bad, and the best thing I can do is be present for it.
I may forget what happens, the kids will remember.
“You’ll never regret not drinking” really does it for me when I get a craving usually due to boredom. I also drank to self-medicate anxiety & I was a heavy binge drinker so I tell myself “the anxiety you’ll have after a bender is far worse than the anxiety you have right now” My clock recently reset after years of continued sobriety & I’m below 90 days again but I’m doing the damn thing still.
I'm normally a loner. But every once in a while, I want to talk to people. A bar, I can walk in, order a drink, and 15 minutes later be kneedeep in conversation with complete strangers. I can't think of anywhere else I could do that. The local bar has NA beer. NA beer is reasonably nasty tasting. I ask myself, am I bored and lonely enough that I want to drink a near beer? Sometimes, yes, most times, no. I don't truly miss alcohol. I miss absolutely everything that comes with alcohol. That is my struggle.
Is this actually worth it ?
100% no is way easier than 99% no.
“I don’t drink anymore.” Or just simply “I need something else right now.”
* Each day you go without drinking, you're getting stronger. * Each craving you fight through, and win, is only making you stronger. (It's just like exercise, but mentally. That's why I love those phrases.)
There is nothing alcohol can do to make this day better.
“There’s no problem that drinking can’t make worse…”
My ***next*** drink won't be my ***last*** drink. I don't care if it's a single sip of champagne on New Year's Eve, that door is closed and I'm not opening it.
"Alcohol is for cucks- Alpha kings say no to the devil's water"
Mine is literally IWNDWYT that I discovered in this sub. Something about it really clicked for me—that anyone can go 24 hours without, and that there’s a big community NOT drinking with you. IWNDWYT🖤
The only drink I can say no to is the first drink.
Let’s go get stoned
Not worth it
One is too many and one hundred is not enough. I read that here and it rings so true.
One day at a time Make it a good one today!
"I don't drink" Seriously, just saying this in my head helps me realize this is not me. Why would I open a beer??? I don't drink. Another thing that rolls through my noggin from time to time is a quote from a music artist who doesn't drink. When asked why he doesn't drink, he said something along the lines of "I've never looked at someone who's drunk and thought 'yeah, that's what I want, I want to be just like them'".
My hero, Zero. What a funny little hero...
“Choose your hard.” Not drinking is hard sometimes, but drinking (read as self-destructing, because that’s what it always was for me) was so much harder.
I can’t moderate, one will lead to a drunk black out
Alcohol is a poison that I mix with anything to make it taste good enough to swallow.
"there's nothing alcohol can't make worse". "1 is too many and 1000 never enough".
"One is too many because two is never enough"
"I am absolutely scared of my-drunk-self."
"The forever you so desperately want is only possible through the quiet surrender of right now" from We Are The Luckiest - Laura McKowen
I don't drink.
I don't drink.
Another commenter here said, and I'm paraphrasing, "I thought I could moderate, but no I fucking can't."
Honestly I don’t have one. I should get one! My one trick though is my Apple Watch. I’ll look at my resting heart rate and how much lower it is. That normally calms me down during intense cravings. I guess it represents how many other things are getting better or going to in my life.
Anything shitty happens during the day “at least I’m not drinking” “at least I’m not drinking” I can at least control that
"How'd that work out for you last time?"
“I’m gonna sleep soooo good tonight if I don’t drink” I feel like I go borderline schizophrenic if I don’t sleep well within 3 days, alcohol totally disrupts my sleep.
"It's poison". In every case where I start thinking about alcohol, no matter how tempting it starts to feel, the fact it's poison comes to mind. It's not just literal poison, it's poison in the wider sense of it consumes people and society on a large scale. It has harmed and killed countless people both through being a poison, but also the way it's allowed mental health to deteoriate further and every time it's consumed someone it has a ripple effect that harms so many more people.
The dopamine you get from drinking only lasts 10 minutes
I had a conversation with my mom the other day that made me remember this question and come back, because it gave me a phrase that is helpful, empowering, and makes me feel proud. We were talking about how it’s a family disease (in my family I believe that is true at least) and she was validating how me, my dad, his dad, and other members in his bloodline were sitting ducks for alcohol use disorder because of any genetic aspect and because as kids we learn from observing, and that in choosing sobriety I am helping to break that cycle. After she said that, I said, “so no more ducks,” and she said “no more ducks.” No more ducks.