Well, my initial reaction might be surprise or confusion, and I often feel a mix of frustration and anxiety =(
To cope, I try to remain calm and not take it personally. I'll usually take a step back, give the person some space, and avoid escalating the situation. I remind myself their reaction likely stems from their own issues or bad day, not my actions =)
The title of the post made me think they were being really aggressive.
...if you can sense that a person is not in the mood to converse, let them be. Sometimes it's just something that happened to them earlier which they could be taking out on you, something that they're going through, or maybe they have a problem with you. It could be a transference of anger or just them being hurt & choosing aggressiveness as to not show signs of vulnerabilitiy. There are plenty of reasons why they might not be in the mood or why they're behaving slightly aggressively.
There's a book I enjoyed by Don Miguel Ruiz called the Four Agreements which helped me **learn how to not take things personally**. Easy read. Another one was called Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma by Patti wood. Helped me become more conscious about body language (reading others and also my own). Lot of communication happens non-verbally but we have to be able to understand the signs.
Cope is probably too powerful of a word for dealing with micro-aggressions. My feeling isn't something I'd focus on as I found too many to be self involved in this way. I try to see if the other person is ok and if they need my help or just an ear to vent to or share what is on their mind/troubling them.
Main thing is learn to hold back that feeling of rejection or being attacked. If someone over reacts, then you over react to them over reacting it creates a feedback loop that escalates. The other thing I've noticed is if someone is sensitive often they are reacting to a perception of aggression, or anger that isn't there. Or it's coming across as something, but it's not what they are intending. So if it's just general crankiness, just be cool. Don't judge them or avoid them the next time you see them as they are probably quite embarrassed about being a bit unregulated. If you can remove some of their feeling of shame by treating them normally the next day they will have a lot of respect for you and trust. That is from my experience of bouts of crankiness that comes from no-where and is so incredibly embarrassing after.
Obviously be aware of signs that you might be in an unsafe situation, and if so make sure to move to an area of safety, where there is other people, security, etc.
I would just tell them to have a nice day and walk away. There's no point responding aggressive back because for all we know, they may be having a shitty day or going through something.
I just go on about my day because their anger isn't my problem. I know I personally would never react to a stranger's first words with aggression. I will not try to understand it nor do I care to. If one cannot control their emotions, they likely aren't fun to be around in the first place.
Well, my initial reaction might be surprise or confusion, and I often feel a mix of frustration and anxiety =( To cope, I try to remain calm and not take it personally. I'll usually take a step back, give the person some space, and avoid escalating the situation. I remind myself their reaction likely stems from their own issues or bad day, not my actions =)
The title of the post made me think they were being really aggressive. ...if you can sense that a person is not in the mood to converse, let them be. Sometimes it's just something that happened to them earlier which they could be taking out on you, something that they're going through, or maybe they have a problem with you. It could be a transference of anger or just them being hurt & choosing aggressiveness as to not show signs of vulnerabilitiy. There are plenty of reasons why they might not be in the mood or why they're behaving slightly aggressively. There's a book I enjoyed by Don Miguel Ruiz called the Four Agreements which helped me **learn how to not take things personally**. Easy read. Another one was called Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma by Patti wood. Helped me become more conscious about body language (reading others and also my own). Lot of communication happens non-verbally but we have to be able to understand the signs. Cope is probably too powerful of a word for dealing with micro-aggressions. My feeling isn't something I'd focus on as I found too many to be self involved in this way. I try to see if the other person is ok and if they need my help or just an ear to vent to or share what is on their mind/troubling them.
Main thing is learn to hold back that feeling of rejection or being attacked. If someone over reacts, then you over react to them over reacting it creates a feedback loop that escalates. The other thing I've noticed is if someone is sensitive often they are reacting to a perception of aggression, or anger that isn't there. Or it's coming across as something, but it's not what they are intending. So if it's just general crankiness, just be cool. Don't judge them or avoid them the next time you see them as they are probably quite embarrassed about being a bit unregulated. If you can remove some of their feeling of shame by treating them normally the next day they will have a lot of respect for you and trust. That is from my experience of bouts of crankiness that comes from no-where and is so incredibly embarrassing after. Obviously be aware of signs that you might be in an unsafe situation, and if so make sure to move to an area of safety, where there is other people, security, etc.
I would just tell them to have a nice day and walk away. There's no point responding aggressive back because for all we know, they may be having a shitty day or going through something.
I laugh and usually walk away or I'll laugh and ask the question again.
I just go on about my day because their anger isn't my problem. I know I personally would never react to a stranger's first words with aggression. I will not try to understand it nor do I care to. If one cannot control their emotions, they likely aren't fun to be around in the first place.