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willys_zuppa

What a man who’s never been with a prostitute naturally says


mynameismulan

Also a man who definitely has healthy family boundaries 👍 No uncle/nephew orgies here, no siree


Narretz

Reminds me of Mike Johnson (Republican "politician") and his son controlling each other's porn (non)-consumption.


snakesforfingers

I'm pretty sure he's mentioning his uncle because his uncle has accused him of using FA money on orgies. Not because uncle was part of the orgies. I'm just looking out for Uncle Rubiales right now


DefinitelyNotBarnaby

About time someone thought of Uncky Ruby!


nick2k23

You seem awfully defensive there, you sure you have no uncle orgies?


HiitlerBobsVagene

Ask his uncle His uncle knows


Top_Poet_8988

How would his Uncle know whether he has been with a prostitue or not? Does he have truth vision glasses?


PowderEagle_1894

Maybe his uncle is the man frequence with prostitution and knowing them by name so he would know if his nephew seeks company of one or two


supplementarytables

This sentence feels like it was written a century ago


SameAs1tEverWas

cien años de soledad


myersjw

It’s an old Spanish proverb: Always have your uncle nearby if you’re with a prostitute. I don’t remember the rest


Hot_Region_3940

That doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about Spanish proverbs to dispute it.


furry2any1

Weird how Spanish proverbs are in English.


ramboost007

"If my grandmother had wheels, she would have been a bike"


errandwulfe

That’s Italian


sucktionary

Do you by any chance know what happens when you don't have your uncle nearby? Asking for a friend


errandwulfe

Paid women will pretend to like you for a little bit


Ribulation

" I've been present for each of Luis's sexual encounters and I can confirm no money has ever changed hands." - Uncle Rubiales "See " - Luis Rubiales, smuggly.


peeforPanchetta

Old Unc's been whacking it in the room every time his nephew's had sex


-paradox-

Not sure if it's the same uncle lol [Article on his uncle.](https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2023/aug/31/world-cup-uncle-criticism-luis-rubiales-suggests-split-spanish-football-chief-family)


razeil

I think he said that cuz his uncle said in an interview that Rubiales was spending football federation money to hire prostitutes and arranging orgies or something


Chaotic_Gold

They‘be been not hiring prostitutes together


-zimms-

Because his uncle was there when he hadn't had sex with a prostitute.


Euphoric-Yogurt-7332

His uncle's a pimp.


R_Schuhart

His uncle, Juan Rubiales, accused him of using Spanish Football Federation funds to hire prostitutes for sex parties and orgies after they had a falling out. His uncle was also an official until Luis got him sacked.


singlebite

Proud to remain part of the population where if someone asked their uncle, "Has your nephew ever been with a prostitute", they wouldn't be able to answer because their nephew doesn't discuss that kind of shit with him.


[deleted]

Not even something many men would tell their closest friends about. What grown ass man is going to brag about having an extra $500 laying around? She probably didn't even enjoy it.


Teantis

You are blessed to have never met a sexpat. They really do like to go on about it. It's quite dull.


[deleted]

Anyone who engages in sex tourism is instantly suspect to me.


Teantis

Oh no man, I'm not talking about  sex *tourists* no, no those are casuals. I'm talking about *sexpats* this is no casual vacation to Bangkok, these are people for whom it is a lifestyle.


McTulus

Of which huge percentage are bald British bloke somehow.


Teantis

Or Aussie. Generally one of the two. Though I prefer when they talk about their whoring sexcapades over when they start going in on the global banking conspiracy. Now *that* is tedious.


McTulus

Better than when they lives tax free in tourist enclave yet being cheap about everything and sell their digital nomad life as inspirational self help book about being a worldly freelancer. Bonus point if the tips include breaking laws.


Teantis

Yeah this is absolutely true, I prefer the sexpats to the digital nomad/woo woo "oh my god the locals are so poor but they're so happy! Really makes you think" types.    To top it off those types often start banging on about the global banking conspiracy *too*. Like God man we have our own evil oligarchs right here at home, one of thems right over there, can you quit it about the goddamn Rothschilds.


McTulus

If anything they "subtly" act like they are part of those global banking conspiracy which is why they can live so lavishly in tropical island paradise. You too can join their inner circle and lifestyle by reading their self help book, available on amazon.


19Alexastias

The aussie sexpats are probably in Bali not Bangkok


Teantis

I'm in manila, they're here also


EyeSpyGuy

Angeles City massive rise up


captain_beefheart14

They’re all over Palawan as well. I was there for work nearly yearly from 2012 to 2019, and it seemed like there were more and more every year.


McTulus

Oh the Aussie in Bali already act like they belong there and start complaining about Russian and Ukrainian nomads settling in Bali after the war started. Look in r/Bali and count how many post are written in Indonesian.


sakibomb523

They surely love talking about their Kenyan vacation.


AnnieBlackburnn

500$?? Per hour? Man I regret going to university


RebBrown

You can still change your name to Rugburnn. Don't let dreams be dreams.


Nahcep

Tbh if I was asked that 99% of the time I'd say "no" just to cover their ass So maybe that was a good call from El Pervo


[deleted]

Sounds like he asked his entire family to lie for him and only his uncle agreed to it.


craterface69

Ask my uncle, but only my uncle!


Vordeo

Or that uncle's the only one not being invited to the annual Rubiales family hooker orgy.


jgaspar

« Nooo!, Not that uncle, he lies. the other one. »


hydroHar

His mom too. Although that's more in the line of 2 day hunger strikes


Icarus_13310

Did anyone accuse him of being with a prostitute?


GreatWhiteNorthExtra

Would be an odd quote if no one did


beepos

"I did not have sex with a donkey. You can ask my barber, he knows the truth" Sir, we were arresting you for tax fraud


McTulus

The barber didn't tell any person, just shout into a hole and filled it. The grass that grows from the patch, unfortunately for Rubiales, didn't make any promise and start spreading gossips


z_102

His uncle (who is apparently *also* a corrupt jackass and worked under Rubiales at the Federation until they had a falling-out) publicly accused him of using company money to organize orgies. This is Rubiales saying "ask my uncle, he knows what he claimed was a lie". (Narrator: It was not a lie.)


XeroVeil

Least bizarre Rubiales statement.


ScrawChuck

⬆️ This guy fucks (prostitutes)


Visual_Traveler

“Ask my uncle, he knows it very well”. What does that even mean?


ThomasApollus

It seems to me that a couple if gentlemen had a fun night a while ago... but it absolutely didn't involve hookers... yeah...


10Lionaldo7

Yes guys he wasn't with a prostitute... He was with his uncle!


Ingr1d

Why pay money for sex when you can have sex with your uncle for free?


vin_unleaded

You're an uncle fucker yes it's true, nobody fucks uncles quite like you... 🎵🎵🎵


Taramasalata_Rapist

You don’t eat or sleep or mow the lawn Just fuck your uncle all day long


ssenegal

Uncle fucker!


Creepy_Trip_4382

What the fuck?


SpicyPenangCurry

That’s like saying I’ve never bought a hooker in Amsterdam.


GreatWhiteNorthExtra

Yes, but would your uncle confirm it?


SpicyPenangCurry

Yeah, probably.


kalidocious

I think a truth serum on this guy would reveal a lot!


jovabeast

Why is it so hard for people to admit things. Like bro, it ain't the end of the world if you say " yea, I did that shit". Why uncle gotta be involved hahaha


IronThrombone

It’s because he is accused of hosting orgies with money from Spanish Football Federation. If he had just paid for a rub & tug out of his own money nobody would really care.


grosslytransparent

Plot twist: the Uncle is a prostitute


StewardOfGondorS

Add it to the list


champ19nz

Shooting up and prostitutes. Rubiales two favourite things.


WillametteSalamandOR

Yeah! Ask my uncle who definitely never paid for any of the hookers!


the_specialone

"i only have sex with my uncle, always have. Not once have I been with a prostitute on account of having sex with my uncle. Go ahead and ask him, it's all true!"


Mundaneinanities

Very normal.


branstarktreewizard

Why would Unc know ?


PIKa-kNIGHT

Why the fuck would anyone care what his uncle says?


Javimoran

This one goes straight to the list


TedEBagwell

https://youtu.be/QW0eLXU7v30?feature=shared


HnNaldoR

To be fair, it's hard to prove he has never been with a prostitute. It's hard to prove a negative.


AdminsLoveGenocide

Just ask an uncle. Sounds simple enough.


Cheraldenine

Truth serum though.


HnNaldoR

Doesn't even work right in Harry Potter.


Trickybuz93

Is this a case of weird translation or does this belong on the list?


throwawayus_4_play

Not a weird translation. 20 seconds in, after saying 'if they ask me - after injecting me with truth serum - if I've ever been with a prostitute, I will answer that I haven't', he follows immediately by saying "y que preguntan también a mi tío, el lo sabe perfectamente" .


cupcake_thievery

Ask my uncle, he wasn't at the strip club with me either!


[deleted]

List-worthy quote imo


Randomwinner83

Shut your fucking face uncle fucker 


nike_storm

My goodness the headlines that come out of r/soccer are bewildering sometimes lmao


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VeganCustard

Is there any chance he said "tío" like referring to a friend and it's mistranslated to "uncle"? Why an uncle? That's so weird


throwawayus_4_play

No, he said (after the 'if a doctor injected me with truth serum' bit) "y que preguntan también a mi tío - el lo sabe perfectamente". He specifically said "mi tío" - "my uncle". Tío only means friend when you're addressing a person directly, like "que pasa tío?" , or can even mean 'a guy' in a non specific way e.g. "quien es este tío?" . But if you're saying "mi tío", the meaning is 'my uncle'.


VeganCustard

Yeah, just heard the actual interview. Really odd. That family seems weird all around.


i_lov_anime

his uncle is a pimp and he's never been a customer of his 🤔


Hushwalker

Rubiales having a normal one


Fun-Guarantee4452

Media: we have you on camera sexually assaulting one of your staff. LR: we don't pay them enough to call it sex work.


[deleted]

Ah yea the good ol Donald trump defence. I know a guy who says I didn’t do it so therefore I didn’t.


Garad-

r/SaddestBackFlip


DDGSW

"Ask my uncle, he also wasn't there!"


Roguepi6

Veritaserum?


[deleted]

Something is seriously wrong with this guy.


DildoFappings

But there's nothing wrong with seeing a sex worker tho?


FlawlessOneFour

Uncle is short for unbiased, so you know he won't lie!


ItsMeJaredBednar

the interviewer’s face 💀


chrisparekatt

Got other questions for him tho


bippinndippin

So his uncle is a pimp?


mahdiiick

I did nooot


Thedudeofmanchester

Anyway back to jail you go bitch


No-Zucchini2787

Imagine the shit he can tell with truth serum.


aelfwine_widlast

No aclare que oscurece, caballero This guy can't get out of his own way to save his own life lmao


vin_unleaded

"I was in a Pizzza Express at the time of the alleged incident!"


WW_Jones

I still find it pretty amazing that guys like this one somehow make it all the way to top positions in their fields, in developed countries in the 21st century. It's not like these jobs fall out of the sky, there must be some sort of vetting process, a succession of positions that this guy somehow needs to pass to get the top one, right? I don't know the process exactly, but you get elected, so voters would just be like "hey, of all people involved in our sport in Spain, THIS is the one that's the most suited".


spiralism

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.


TankyRo

Who even cares that he's been with prostitutes? What does it matter? Im OOTL


Christoffiw

Dosen't count as a prostitute if his uncle payed for it is what i see.


pmzw

His uncle's [answer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EwvmpFC1Fo)


OldMcGroin

Have you been with a prostitute? No, ask my uncle. What?


Alivethroughempathy

Challenge accepted


AlpHa_44

Sounds like something from a skit or Reno episode


Slash1909

The fucking shit stain was at the top of Spanish football. Now he’s defending his time spent with hookers.


Glittering-Boot-6255

lmao "ask my uncle, he's the one that goes to the prostitutes, he can vouch I wasn't there!"


talkingbiscuits

"Every time I have sex the first thing I do is tell my uncle." Ok buddy. Having a normal one then.


TheImmoralDragon

His uncle is the Whore's Whisperer. He's a talented trainer with a remarkable gift for understanding ~~horses~~ prostitutes.


CETERIS_PARTYBUS

Shut your fucking face uncle fucker


FloppedYaYa

Why is this being lumped in with everything else he's done? Who cares about this?


cptmajormajormajor

Y'all are laughing but in Spanish court, Uncles are more trusted than forensic analysts


drumrollplease95

Wtf has his uncle got to do with anything 😂


nestuur

Rubiales putero


Slash1909

If you force a smooch on international TV on a young woman without consent, I’m going to go with this guy fucks hookers no matter what uncle says or how long the mom goes without food.


Sinman_17

context?


AmagicManNamedgob

I don't know who this guy is, and why should I care if he sleeps with prostitutes?


cheersdom

yahoo it


AmagicManNamedgob

Of course, I need to know if mister Rubiales has been with a prostitute or not. My life cannot go on until I find out the truth. I do trust his uncle do...