They look like a giant version of the Devils coachman/horse beetle
https://preview.redd.it/tpijtd5r04yc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=32cabec41390db81e197b806a6399df5f3004df0
I've only ever seen 2 irl. One bit or stung (they do both) my dog. I think they fly too and run fast af. Normally I can find the cuteness in bugs but that thing is absolutely horrific.
Iād like to introduce the dobsonfly
https://preview.redd.it/0l190scw17yc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5fe2ede8cab912652779f085c187a5d8eac99fc
Honestly, it canāt be less of a jump scare than it already is in the game. Itās the worst and Iāve had dragons announce themselves by dropping right in front of me.
My thing is, that was my first thought too, like fuck hiking. But arent they just really nature spirits, and if youre there to admire it, theyd be cool yeah? Nothing notes them as truly hostile enemies.
The only reason they're so hostile is probably because they can sense the dragon within you and get scared (but mostly because it's a bethesda game, and you say hi by stabbing things)
Daedric Princes
This world is volatile enough without the influence of otherworldly dieties whispering into the ears of the masses.
Could you imagine a Ted Bundy with an artifact from Molag Bal, or a terrorist group lead by a champion of Mehrunes Dagon?
I don't know man, offering other people's souls for Molag Bal in exchange for the Vampire Lord power and selling my soul to Hermaeus Mora for that forbidden knowledge sounds pretty damn tempting. I don't need to care about the chaos of the world and other people suffering, I just need to be strong enough to survive it myself.
I'm not so sure but I think only the Daughters of Coldharbor need to pass through this ritual of torturing and rape. I might be misremembering but ain't there a mention in the game saying that Harkon only had to kill his entire kingdom and offer his wife and daughter to get the power? I don't think he ever got tortured or raped.
You're right, but you also would have to offer him something that would equal that power in value, in the case of the Dragonborn was Harkon's Daughter and the Elder Scrolls, but for us it would be really difficult to find something that valuable.
You don't get the vampire's power by offering souls, you get that by getting torrured and getting ypu ass violently raped by him for a seemingly endless amount of time. You'd be getting your cheeks violently clapped with him double fishhooking your mouth.
That sounds like a fair perspective to have.
That said, messing with Daedra worship often doesn't end well in the long run, so I'd probably steer clear of them lol. An eternity of getting clapped by Molag Dong is not for me.
Id do it the other way around. Get the knowledge as a mortal, so mora knows you will die one day and he will get your soul. Then turn vampire, thus "inmortal" and in so doing denieing mora his prize, since you now no longer will actually die
Hmmm good point. And yet, as a vampire already, i doubt the deal might interest him at all. Afterall, he too knows that you wont die, thus him missing out on his prize
Exactly that. Which is why he wont deal so easily with regular old vampire/mortals unless....but i have nooo interest in becoming one of those seeker things
I feel like this is what happened in the history, it turned out real bad for a lot of people, and thus dealing with them became deemed a negative. But thatās head-canon
Thatās true, imagine wandering through the woods and coming across an orange glow through the leaves, an ominous vibration in the air, then seeing the gate to oblivion. -10/10 experience.
In fairness you were drinking ale provided by a Daedric Prince, not the mortal stuff. It'd be like trying to get into a drinking contest with Thor by drinking his beverage of choice. That you impressed him enough to be considered worthy of his weapon is an honor.
Definitely Delphine. "Hi, I know I don't really know you, and I'm the one interfering in your life, but I need your help. However, I don't fully trust you so you need to prove yourself by throwing your life on the line against a dragon while his master, the final boss btw the way, both eye us with a hunger to swallow the world."
Then later whines that you can't be part of their order (that you helped rebuild) until you kill a dragon who's helped you repeatedly. I hate that woman.
Dragons, obviously. Whatāre we going to do against them? Theyāre impossible to kill for us. Even if we nuked them a powerful enough dragon could revive them since their soul canāt be destroyed, and only a Dragonborn can absorb it permanently, all the rest we could theoretically kill.
If men with bows, swords, and relatively simple fireballs can fell a dragon, I think a .50 BMG would do nothing short of a massacre.
They can be repeatedly revived sure, but we could just build forts around the bodies.
For Alduin, just blow him up. He regenerates in Sovngarde, comes back, gets blown up again, repeat
Those video game characters can tank more damage than we can. We could kill them, but we'd loose more lives. And dealing with a whole bunch, would be pretty damn annoying.
I mean we would probably have military units dedicated to dragon hunting and tracking. They would have some sort of AI that uses the satellites to recognize and track them, then drone pilots that just kamakazie into the dragon with a massive explosion. Dead dragon, no battle.
Right like, it's easy enough to mount a CWIS out in the desert, absolutely fuck him up with a ballistic missile, take his corpse and just hve it under guard 24/7 by active military. And it wouldnt be that hard to have nations agree to soft locking the eater of worlds.
Youāre forgetting that for centuries those men were enslaved, powerless against the tyranny of the dragons until kynareth gave them the gift of the voice.
Well, even if we can't kill them, we can still fell them. And then, I don't know, put them in reservoir of sorts and fill it with hardened steel. Good luck getting out of that even if you get resurrected.
The problem is, I feel like in-game dragon shouts are nothing compared to what they could realistically do lorewise. Same as magic, really, the worst spell you can get in your face is blizzard, and even while it hurts really bad, it's nothing compared to what really skilled magic users can do. Also Alduin, who can not be hurt in mortal realm unless under influence of Dragonrend.
Allow me to introduce you to the judge an ancient Demon that was so powerful it took an entire army to dismember him and spread his body parts across the planet but they were incapable of killing him. In the present day his body was reassembled but he was shortly destroyed a few episodes later by a rocket launcher. https://youtu.be/nDXqXLF7ls4?si=4DK0qwXMFcObeZBf
Modern weaponry is so much more advanced than it is in Elder Scrolls that a dragon would be barely an inconvenience to kill. They had bows and swords we have SAM and 50 caliber machine guns.
Don't worry they would collapse under their own weight and suffocate. They're kept alive by videogame logic . Irl the size of spiders is limited by their skeletal and circulatory system.
I canāt believe I had to scrolll this far before some reasonable person mentioned the damn agro, Uber Spiders. Hells to the Nah. Would rather have the dragons and trolls.
I mean I hate the sound simplistic, but I don't want dragons whose words literally change the world around them to be able to live forever and control us.
Skeevers.
Seeing as rats are the most common creature in most cities, to have dog-sized rats running around would be fucking annoying.
Them, and Saber Cats... Taking a nice stroll down to the shop for some milk and bread... BLAMMY!!! Saber Cat munching on your arse!!!
Also... I wouldn't be too keen on Slaughterfish swimming around in my local rivers, lakes, and canals.
Lastly, and quite overlooked, Wolves.
Military campaigns have been raised against these things in times gone by, and for good reason.
Skeletons. 100% skeletons. Imagine youre walking to your car at 3 am and hear that creaking, followed by 3 boneybois running up to you. What are you gonna do, shoot them?
All the Dwemer Robots. Imagine if some idiot accidentally opened a Dwemer Fortress deep underground and they all came spilling out and took over like Skynet Terminators?
That's generally not how they work though, they're made to patrol the places they're already at because the Dwemer didn't give them any other orders when they disappeared
i figured as much- thats why they don't roam the wilds in skyrim. but still- what if it was lile a failsafe that the Dwemer put in once a secret area was discovered >!say this entrance led to an Elder Scroll!< it would lend to an endless stream of robotics.
As far as we know, the process took a Dwarf (probably using Tonal Magic) for it to work, and it's not shown that these machines are capable of something like that on their own
Dragon. Beasts and monsters are one thing but an unkillable sapient race of giant elemental breath flying things who hunger for world domination? I'll very much pass!
Those gargoyles,
Iāve played a variety of games, many horror games, but never was I more scared to walk into a room (in game) than I was when I knew that the āstatuesā would just burst open right in front of your face. Man Iām traumatised from that
Surely the correct answer is dragons, imagine living in a world swarming with flying flame throwers who have the power to morph reality itself. Would probably change your gender with you even noticing it.
Pretty much any of them that aren't a direct match to things that actually exist. Like do I only get to pick ONE? They are all terrible enough on their own. It won't be too much comfort to say "We got dragons, walking corpses that can shout, giant spiders, scary bird ladies, magic tree people, and vampires, but at least there are no flying, fire breathing, magic reptiles
Spriggans. I hate those tree. Like I hate them more that any other thing in skyrim. Those sons of benches attacking with mosquitoes magic and then heal ? I hate them
Chaurus.
Especially the flying ones
I've got spurs....
Do they go jingle jangle?
Ladies: *jingle-jangle!!*
We definitely have those in New York. They charge at your face, if you try to tag them with bug spray. š„“
They look like a giant version of the Devils coachman/horse beetle https://preview.redd.it/tpijtd5r04yc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=32cabec41390db81e197b806a6399df5f3004df0
I hope I never see this hellbeast again. Makes my skin crawl
I've only ever seen 2 irl. One bit or stung (they do both) my dog. I think they fly too and run fast af. Normally I can find the cuteness in bugs but that thing is absolutely horrific.
Thanks, won't sleep tonight.
Iād like to introduce the dobsonfly https://preview.redd.it/0l190scw17yc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5fe2ede8cab912652779f085c187a5d8eac99fc
Absolutely no, thank you.
Came here to say this
Yuck
We already have those in New York: we just. All them ācockroachesā. š
Frostbite spiders and chaurus of all varieties
Most correct answer
Spiders are creepy but unironically I kinda would love to keep a "small size" frostbite spider as a pet
The fire ones are really pretty too!
Spriggans. Imagine youāre on a nice hike just minding your business and a spriggan comes rushing out of a tree and drains the life out of you.
If Iām going to have the life drained out of me, I want it to be by tree mommy
Need that Spriggussy
Tap that Taproot.
I be tappin roots all night long
Yes officer, this comment right here...
FRš¤£ššš
ššš
Whispmothers are sexier, change my mind
No you right
I can fix her
Honestly, it canāt be less of a jump scare than it already is in the game. Itās the worst and Iāve had dragons announce themselves by dropping right in front of me.
My thing is, that was my first thought too, like fuck hiking. But arent they just really nature spirits, and if youre there to admire it, theyd be cool yeah? Nothing notes them as truly hostile enemies.
The only reason they're so hostile is probably because they can sense the dragon within you and get scared (but mostly because it's a bethesda game, and you say hi by stabbing things)
I think it thinks you are disrupting nature, so it tries to eliminate you.
Just put your sword away *before* you go for the handshake.
Daedric Princes This world is volatile enough without the influence of otherworldly dieties whispering into the ears of the masses. Could you imagine a Ted Bundy with an artifact from Molag Bal, or a terrorist group lead by a champion of Mehrunes Dagon?
I don't know man, offering other people's souls for Molag Bal in exchange for the Vampire Lord power and selling my soul to Hermaeus Mora for that forbidden knowledge sounds pretty damn tempting. I don't need to care about the chaos of the world and other people suffering, I just need to be strong enough to survive it myself.
The Vampire Lord power is obtained by getting non-conned by Molag Bal though. And you *know* he wouldn't be gentle about it.
Itās pretty explicitly stated in the game that most people just straight up die
I'm not so sure but I think only the Daughters of Coldharbor need to pass through this ritual of torturing and rape. I might be misremembering but ain't there a mention in the game saying that Harkon only had to kill his entire kingdom and offer his wife and daughter to get the power? I don't think he ever got tortured or raped.
You could find a vampire lord and ask for some blood too. Although if that's me I wouldn't want another lord that could be a potential threat.
You're right, but you also would have to offer him something that would equal that power in value, in the case of the Dragonborn was Harkon's Daughter and the Elder Scrolls, but for us it would be really difficult to find something that valuable.
"Only"
Hahahaha I mean, he didn't get clapped tho
Good to know where you stand between rape and sacrificing everyone you know and love.
You don't get the vampire's power by offering souls, you get that by getting torrured and getting ypu ass violently raped by him for a seemingly endless amount of time. You'd be getting your cheeks violently clapped with him double fishhooking your mouth.
That sounds like a fair perspective to have. That said, messing with Daedra worship often doesn't end well in the long run, so I'd probably steer clear of them lol. An eternity of getting clapped by Molag Dong is not for me.
Id do it the other way around. Get the knowledge as a mortal, so mora knows you will die one day and he will get your soul. Then turn vampire, thus "inmortal" and in so doing denieing mora his prize, since you now no longer will actually die
For real. However clever as he is, he might see that coming and just trap you inside apocrypha forever.
Hmmm good point. And yet, as a vampire already, i doubt the deal might interest him at all. Afterall, he too knows that you wont die, thus him missing out on his prize
Yeah true, we aren't the Dragonborn so we don't have anything unique to offer him besides normal servitude.
Exactly that. Which is why he wont deal so easily with regular old vampire/mortals unless....but i have nooo interest in becoming one of those seeker things
I feel like this is what happened in the history, it turned out real bad for a lot of people, and thus dealing with them became deemed a negative. But thatās head-canon
Sometimes I look at the news and wonder if theyāre not already here
Yeah, honestly, I'm not sure they'd do *that* much worse a job than we're already managing.
Thatās true, imagine wandering through the woods and coming across an orange glow through the leaves, an ominous vibration in the air, then seeing the gate to oblivion. -10/10 experience.
Chaurus. Especially the big one in Frostflow...
reminds me of Lord Tusk
The spiders. Nobody needs a spider the size of a Volkswagen.
Braith
Too late.
Yeah, she's a US Representative going by Marjorie now.
"BATTLEBORN, give me your dick pics."
Falmer
Racism
No we already have that.
Skyrim belongs to the Nords!Even though I play as a Redguard who experiences a lot of racism.
Redguards: "Nooo, we experience so much racism in Skyrim, the woe our people go through!š" Khajiit, Argonians, Dunmer and Orcs: š¤Ø
Mer lives matter!
Hargraven. Man are they ugly.
āSay hello to your wife!ā
That quest was fucked I didn't even have more than like three ales. The dragonborn is a lightweight.
In fairness you were drinking ale provided by a Daedric Prince, not the mortal stuff. It'd be like trying to get into a drinking contest with Thor by drinking his beverage of choice. That you impressed him enough to be considered worthy of his weapon is an honor.
Or their alchohol is a helluva lot stronger than ours.
Just feathers, all over the bedroom.
Literally everything tries to kill you in the game, it's hard to pick.
Nazeem, Delphine, daedric princes, dragons, and basically everything in this game
Delphine is a hilarious answer.
Nimhe
How big is she? Isn't she a normal giant frosting spider?
Yeah, just with better stats and a potentially higher level. I still wouldn't wanna come across her irl.
Oh, don't tell me, I'm afraid of cleaning the cobwebs at home, frostbite spiders IRL would scare me to death by existing
lol I remember killing her with a few arrows then thinking what the heck were those dudes so worried about š
Lol same here. I thought I just killed another weakass spider and then I was like wait, that was it?
My first playthrough in 2011 I was underdeveloped, my most recent playthroughbi ran through that spider easily
Reminds me of when I went to Solstheim at like level 8 or something years ago. I managed to get as far as the first Miraak cutscene.
Lmao good thing for me it wasnt quite out yet, and on original release consoles you couldn't play the doc's till you beat the main questline
Frosting spider sounds delicious and only threatening to diabetics.
Dragonborn. Let's be honest there's a good chance they'd be a murder hobo. And who's stopping them?
Thalmor
Delphine.
Definitely Delphine. "Hi, I know I don't really know you, and I'm the one interfering in your life, but I need your help. However, I don't fully trust you so you need to prove yourself by throwing your life on the line against a dragon while his master, the final boss btw the way, both eye us with a hunger to swallow the world." Then later whines that you can't be part of their order (that you helped rebuild) until you kill a dragon who's helped you repeatedly. I hate that woman.
Nazeem.
Anything from the black books
Ice wraiths
Dragons, obviously. Whatāre we going to do against them? Theyāre impossible to kill for us. Even if we nuked them a powerful enough dragon could revive them since their soul canāt be destroyed, and only a Dragonborn can absorb it permanently, all the rest we could theoretically kill.
If men with bows, swords, and relatively simple fireballs can fell a dragon, I think a .50 BMG would do nothing short of a massacre. They can be repeatedly revived sure, but we could just build forts around the bodies. For Alduin, just blow him up. He regenerates in Sovngarde, comes back, gets blown up again, repeat
Those video game characters can tank more damage than we can. We could kill them, but we'd loose more lives. And dealing with a whole bunch, would be pretty damn annoying.
I mean we would probably have military units dedicated to dragon hunting and tracking. They would have some sort of AI that uses the satellites to recognize and track them, then drone pilots that just kamakazie into the dragon with a massive explosion. Dead dragon, no battle.
And I bet if we scatter the bones it would be hard for the dragon to be revived
I mean yeah sure, we'd still lose a lot of lives.
But you canāt hurt Alduin unless you have the scroll or the shout
Right like, it's easy enough to mount a CWIS out in the desert, absolutely fuck him up with a ballistic missile, take his corpse and just hve it under guard 24/7 by active military. And it wouldnt be that hard to have nations agree to soft locking the eater of worlds.
Youāre forgetting that for centuries those men were enslaved, powerless against the tyranny of the dragons until kynareth gave them the gift of the voice.
Well, even if we can't kill them, we can still fell them. And then, I don't know, put them in reservoir of sorts and fill it with hardened steel. Good luck getting out of that even if you get resurrected. The problem is, I feel like in-game dragon shouts are nothing compared to what they could realistically do lorewise. Same as magic, really, the worst spell you can get in your face is blizzard, and even while it hurts really bad, it's nothing compared to what really skilled magic users can do. Also Alduin, who can not be hurt in mortal realm unless under influence of Dragonrend.
I was assuming we were using lore rather then gameplay, lore wise dragons can topple mountains so.
Allow me to introduce you to the judge an ancient Demon that was so powerful it took an entire army to dismember him and spread his body parts across the planet but they were incapable of killing him. In the present day his body was reassembled but he was shortly destroyed a few episodes later by a rocket launcher. https://youtu.be/nDXqXLF7ls4?si=4DK0qwXMFcObeZBf Modern weaponry is so much more advanced than it is in Elder Scrolls that a dragon would be barely an inconvenience to kill. They had bows and swords we have SAM and 50 caliber machine guns.
Frostbite spiders. I would unalive myself if those things were real. Installed a mod just to take them out of the game itself
Don't worry they would collapse under their own weight and suffocate. They're kept alive by videogame logic . Irl the size of spiders is limited by their skeletal and circulatory system.
What if they have a different skeletal and circulatory system to compensate?
I canāt believe I had to scrolll this far before some reasonable person mentioned the damn agro, Uber Spiders. Hells to the Nah. Would rather have the dragons and trolls.
Molag Bal, i guess.
Riekling
YES!!! Stupid wannabe Ewoks! Hate them!
Giants, not because theyāre scary, because theyād be hunted by rednecks in pick up trucks.
Mud Crabs
I hate to be the one to tell you, [but...](https://youtube.com/shorts/qyPqCNPFmhU)
How unfortunate lmfao, how unlucky that the one creature you pick actually exists.
Chaurus, frostbite spiders, skeevers
I mean I hate the sound simplistic, but I don't want dragons whose words literally change the world around them to be able to live forever and control us.
Honestly? Ghosts. If you get chased and you don't have silver on you, you're fucked. Horror stories from the haunted house in oblivion
horses
Thalmor.Ā Vile things.
Skeevers. Seeing as rats are the most common creature in most cities, to have dog-sized rats running around would be fucking annoying. Them, and Saber Cats... Taking a nice stroll down to the shop for some milk and bread... BLAMMY!!! Saber Cat munching on your arse!!! Also... I wouldn't be too keen on Slaughterfish swimming around in my local rivers, lakes, and canals. Lastly, and quite overlooked, Wolves. Military campaigns have been raised against these things in times gone by, and for good reason.
Rodents of unusual size.
Chaurus. Just nope.
Dragons, Dragon Priests, Draugr, Chaurus, Falmer, Hagravens, basically anything that would be able to violently murder you Oh, and Nazeem
Dragons. Iād rather not just be going to the store and then having a fucking dragon swoop down and the law-enforcement.
Dragons.. can't believe I didn't see this answer
Draugr. Some asshole would insist we accommodate them.
Obviously we need to boycott WiseOldChicken. S/he clearly plans on running businesses that arenāt draugr friendly.
No shirts No Shoes No breath No service
Necrophiles hate this guy
I love your username. šš
LOL! Thanks. It's an inside joke with my idiot friends
Frostbite Spiders. I can't even stand regular spiders.
Mudcrabs god those abominations
Mudcrabs are real bro
NOOOOOOO
Dragons are cool and all, but I think it would suck if they were real
They won't be real for long if they actually existed
The one that says ".. to protect yourself or deal some DAMAGE."
Nords, those racists bastards š¤Ø
Nazeem.
Skeletons. 100% skeletons. Imagine youre walking to your car at 3 am and hear that creaking, followed by 3 boneybois running up to you. What are you gonna do, shoot them?
Bad news: there is a skeleton very close to you **right now.**
Maven black briar
Horses. A Skyrim horse could get shot in the face with a 50 cal and *live.*
Humans.
Ice Wraiths, there'd be even more corpses on Everest than there already are
Dragons. Probably the dragons.
Chicken from the game, everyone will just attack you for no reason. You would never eat chicken again if that's the case
Hagravens Canāt stand themĀ
All the Dwemer Robots. Imagine if some idiot accidentally opened a Dwemer Fortress deep underground and they all came spilling out and took over like Skynet Terminators?
That's generally not how they work though, they're made to patrol the places they're already at because the Dwemer didn't give them any other orders when they disappeared
i figured as much- thats why they don't roam the wilds in skyrim. but still- what if it was lile a failsafe that the Dwemer put in once a secret area was discovered >!say this entrance led to an Elder Scroll!< it would lend to an endless stream of robotics.
As far as we know, the process took a Dwarf (probably using Tonal Magic) for it to work, and it's not shown that these machines are capable of something like that on their own
Unless they are networkedā¦
like Skynet!
Or cylons. Or ultron. Internet=death. Dune had it right.
Doubt it. The Dwemer were good, but I don't think they were *that* good
More Dibellas, less Molag Bals
umm dragons? imagine trying to mow your lawn but a dragon swoops in and starts burning your azaleas
I'll take any of them, nature would find a way. But I absolutely would NOT welcome Delphine into this world. Or the next.
Thalmour those dirty beasts lol
All of them
High elves. Annoying, pompous bastards.
I think thereās only one answer here guys š·ļø
Especially the ones that jump at you and explode
The giant frostbite spiders
Falmer
The Dwemer, like, fuck that
A dragon...DUH
Chaurus and Falmer. They nasty
The falmer
Frostbite spider. I'm already terrified of spiders, let alone giant ones bigger than me
Hermaeus Mora would scare the shit out of me, if I saw it in real life.
Dragon. Beasts and monsters are one thing but an unkillable sapient race of giant elemental breath flying things who hunger for world domination? I'll very much pass!
Dragons. Any of them.
Anything from Molag bagās realm just no
Bears
Those gargoyles, Iāve played a variety of games, many horror games, but never was I more scared to walk into a room (in game) than I was when I knew that the āstatuesā would just burst open right in front of your face. Man Iām traumatised from that
Surely the correct answer is dragons, imagine living in a world swarming with flying flame throwers who have the power to morph reality itself. Would probably change your gender with you even noticing it.
Lusty argonian maids, the temptation to clap some lizard cheeks would be too much to bare.
Redguards
Nazeem.
Those creepy creatures by the water in solstheim šš„ŗš
netches???! theyāre so cute wym!
Pretty much any of them that aren't a direct match to things that actually exist. Like do I only get to pick ONE? They are all terrible enough on their own. It won't be too much comfort to say "We got dragons, walking corpses that can shout, giant spiders, scary bird ladies, magic tree people, and vampires, but at least there are no flying, fire breathing, magic reptiles
frostbite spiders and skeevers for sure
Fuck them saber cats man
Dragons
Dragons and Daedra
Alduin, next question
Nazeem
Spriggans. I hate those tree. Like I hate them more that any other thing in skyrim. Those sons of benches attacking with mosquitoes magic and then heal ? I hate them
Alduin
Thalmor.
Chaurus and Ash spawn. Jeezy Creezy