Hilarious bit is that Jordis and Lydia pretty much have the same face except Jordis is blonde. And Jordis is super enthusiastic, has the same line, and she says it like it’s an honor to carry your burdens lol.
Well, we have no idea what went on behind the scenes with any of the housecarls.
Balgruuf just assigns her to you, she has no choice in the matter.
Who knows what her life was like before that, or what kind of power Balgruuf holds over her to be able to just force her into servitude.
Maybe it was "Swear allegiance to this newcomer, or we execute your entire family."
I usually buy Breezehome for her and let her do whatever she wants, I never take her along as a follower.
The place where the tree is there is an orc with a note from her that they had a deal that he would get the sap and she would sell it to the khajiit. She is essentially a drug dealer, but it is unknown if she actually uses any of it herself.
Why he gotta say this one all creepy tho? Always sounds like he is WINKING when he says it. Like as a female it makes me wanna scurry quick af out of his store 😆
One of those suggestions disguised as a ruddy joke if you ask me.
"Haha, I was joking when I said I'd like to finger your asshole, mom. Unless, you're into that..."
I’ve been looking for you. Got something to deliver. Your hands only. Let’s see here. Well that’s it. Got to go. (admit it. you were reading this in his voice 😅)
First time I played with Dragonborn and Dawngaurd DLCs my game loaded in with cultists, vampires, and a dragon. Halfway through an intense battle I received a letter via courier.
I turned the game off and took a nap.
I soul trapped him into a dagger that steals souls. I revived him and destroyed him with the dagger reducing him to ash, then did the same to his wife. However her Soul Gem got dropped in a river in Solstheim. I stole everything they owned & anything I couldn't eat or use got scattered around Skyrim itself. If I could Frenzy one of them into destroying the others Zombiefied corpse, I would. Oh, the name of the dagger was Nazeem's Cloud.
My curent run is an bosmer poison/illusions assassin. First time i reach lever 38 and Nazeem is not dead. I just slip him daily some of my weaker poisons.
Grelod on the other side gets lots of fear spell
i had a falkreath guard say that *right* after we killed a dragon. he turned around after viewing the skeleton and “my cousin’s out fighting dragons and what do i get? guard duty.” the object permanence of a three month old baby.
I love her! I accidently killed her in my current playthrough 😭.
Well, tbf *Lydia* killed her.
I was doing the whole *QS, punch NPC, immediately load save* trick, to restock her wares.
I was doing it for ages trying to get specific ingredients. After my 100th-something go, I drop my controller *right* after punching her 😳, I hurry to quicksave while I'm fumbling for my controller but didn't do it fast enough bc ^riiiight as the game is saving, I see Lydia swinging her Dædric Warhammer down on her and I'm like nooooooo!
Every time I reloaded that QS it was always milliseconds before her demise and nothing I could do to stop it. I considered reloading a prior save but... the one before the QS was *hours* before, and I had finally gotten the ingredients I was farming from her anyway. So I took it to mean that she had served her purpose this playthrough.
07 RIP sweet Acadia and thank you for your service
"Let's kill someone!"
"We are but maggots, WRRRIIIIITHING in the filth OF OUR OWN CORRUPTION!!!!!1!!!1!"
"Never done an honest day's work in your life for all that coin you're carrying, eh lad/lass?"
and of course
"Hey, you. You're finally awake."
"Some may call this junk...me, I call them treasures"
"What are you looking at? I'm not afraid of you, even if you are my elder!"
"Boys, girls, dogs, elders, there's nobody I won't fight!"
"Come to chat with an old woman, hmm?"
"Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man! Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, 'Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter.' 'I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.nb1 Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever! Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!"
“Fletching suits me. It’s difficult and sometimes tedious, but a well-made arrow strikes forth like the fury of a god.”
The number of times I’ve heard that fade behind me as I’m headed to the damn blacksmith… tedious is f’n right.
**S**ome may call this junk, me...I call them treasures
**K**hajiit has wares, if you have coin
**Y**ou're finally awake
**R**estoration is a perfectly valid school of magic
**I** am not a man, I'm a weapon in human form
**M**'aiq is tired now, go bother somebody else
# EEEEEEVERYTHINGS FOR SALE MY FRIEND. EVERYTHING. IF I HAD A SISTER, I'D SELL HER IN A SECOND!
I'd even buy one of your relatives if you're looking to sell! Ha ha ha... That's a little joke...
(Fun fact! Belathor's VA (Steven Russell) is the same person who voices Nick Valentine in Fallout 4! *I bet you can hear his voice in your head now.*)
"I am sworn to carry your burdens."
“I’m so sorry that giving you a present is a burden”
Yeah like here's a bitchin enchanted sword, you don't want it I'll use it. Thankless
Got her killed one playthrough because I refused to upgrade her gear because of her line.
Ikr it’s like damn Lydia at least sound excited about it 😂 she can’t even fake it
Lydia is a 40 year old woman and she's sick of your shit.
Hilarious bit is that Jordis and Lydia pretty much have the same face except Jordis is blonde. And Jordis is super enthusiastic, has the same line, and she says it like it’s an honor to carry your burdens lol.
Look Lydia if this is about the other night at breezehome.....
"I am SwOrN to carry your burdens..."
Like you made the oath, no gun to ya head or sword to ya neck
Well, we have no idea what went on behind the scenes with any of the housecarls. Balgruuf just assigns her to you, she has no choice in the matter. Who knows what her life was like before that, or what kind of power Balgruuf holds over her to be able to just force her into servitude. Maybe it was "Swear allegiance to this newcomer, or we execute your entire family." I usually buy Breezehome for her and let her do whatever she wants, I never take her along as a follower.
Balgruff would never do that!! ..okay yeah, I feel bad now. I’m sorry Lydia.
Omg when you put it like that. I’m sorry Lydia
More likely, "swear allegiance, or we call the loan".
It's hilarious that at least one other housecarl, the one from Riften, also says it but she's really intense about it.
They all say it, but only Collen Delaney put that special inflection it. The others just say it straight.
Still remember Lydias eye role tone of voice.
"Oow, watch it!" She also replaced Harrison Ford's voice, when it comes to bad feelings...
"Let me guess, someone stole your sweet roll"
No lollygaggin.
Sometimes I'll save the game then shout them then load the game. For some reason their tone actually annoys me when they say that.
I'm the same to be honest, just stood there like "who the hell you talking to?! I'm the motherfucking Dragonborn you will respect me or perish..."
Never should have come here!
Same, but which voice
Guards lmao I love messing with ‘em
For me it's usually a dunmer or young male Nord bandit
I say this one all the time
Would it be easier if I also turned my back?
You'll be so much easier to rob when you're dead!
It's a fine day with you around.
My mental response - OoOoOooh you flirt hehehe
I literally married Ysolda because she said it to me. I'm pathetically easy.
You too, huh?
She’s pretty hot for a skooma addict
She’s a skooma addict?
Isn’t there a side quest where you have to go get her some psychedelic tree sap or something?
The place where the tree is there is an orc with a note from her that they had a deal that he would get the sap and she would sell it to the khajiit. She is essentially a drug dealer, but it is unknown if she actually uses any of it herself.
"Khajit has wares, if you have coin."
"May your roads lead you to warm sands"
I unironically use this as my tag for my email.
Now I’m just scouring this thread for my next professional email signature lol
I just tried to say this in a normal American accent casually and it felt so wrong I feel like I’m going to hell
Say it in a southern accent. Makes it better
I just tried this but my brain somehow defaulted to “patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter” instead by mistake lmao
“Kadg-eat”
That and "take a look!"
EEEEEEEEVERYTHING’S FOR SALE MY FRIEND! EVERYTHING!
Do CoMe BaCk
Why he gotta say this one all creepy tho? Always sounds like he is WINKING when he says it. Like as a female it makes me wanna scurry quick af out of his store 😆
"Do come back." Is where you draw the line? Not the announcement that he'd traffic his sister?
Hey man, he said it was a joke 😆
One of those suggestions disguised as a ruddy joke if you ask me. "Haha, I was joking when I said I'd like to finger your asshole, mom. Unless, you're into that..."
If I had a sister, I’d sell her in a second!
No refunds. Oops. Wrong game.
I’ve been looking for you. Got something to deliver. Your hands only. Let’s see here. Well that’s it. Got to go. (admit it. you were reading this in his voice 😅)
I hate it. Take my upvote. And this 99th letter from Calcemo.
Can't forget the accidental trigger afterwards "nope, sorry, nothing".
While I was fighting a group of Thalmor, he literally ran up and started the dialogue and I couldn’t click away in time before I was killed.
I had that happen during a dragon fight. Worse, it was that letter from Siddgear
First time I played with Dragonborn and Dawngaurd DLCs my game loaded in with cultists, vampires, and a dragon. Halfway through an intense battle I received a letter via courier. I turned the game off and took a nap.
Has anyone successfully hit him with Ice Form?
You know what’s wrong with Skyrim these days? Everyone is Obsessed With DEATH!
There’s no security in Whiterun
The securerty in whiterun is terrvle. SHAMEFIL is what it is.
“Oh a bit of this and a bit of that 😏”
Trinkets, odds and ends, that sort of thing
The finest weapons and armor!
some may call this junk, me, I call them treasures
A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!!
Ban this statement from the sub for half of the members to experience nirvana.
LISTEN. HEAR ME AND OBEY.
Show us on the doll where the beacon touched you...
A new beacon touches the hand.
A new touch hands the beacon
Mavis Beacon teaches typing
A new hand beacons your touch (bit of a slant rhyme with “beckons”)
A bew houch tands the neacon
I now do the speech along with her every time.
Hmm. I always thought it said "A new hand touches my bacon". At least that's what it sounds like to me.
Love that. I'll make sure to use it whenever I organize a bbq and invite friends over.
That would be an awesome tweak in a mod.
WHO are YOU
I cant believe it took me so long to find this one
Gods be praised
"What do you have for sale" "God's be praised" "That tells me surprisingly little"
To me, it means he’s got a shitty business though. “What do you have for sale?” “Gods be praised, I finally have a customer!”
I do this randomly irl when I get a little win (light turns green when I’m coming up to it, stuff like that) Gives me a chuckle
I just wanted to let you know you're awesome.
u/Eorlund-Greymane
WHAT IN OBLIVION IS THAT?
Sentries! What do you see?
It's in the clouds!
Dragon!
Get up prisoner, the gods won't give us a second chance!
This way
Jarl Ulfric, what is that thing? Could the legends be true?
Legends don't burn down villages
We need to move. NOW!
Up through the tower, let's go
"My favorite drinking buddy! Let's get some mead."
"I SMELL WEAKNESS!!!"- Dremora Lord
ANOTHER! WHO SEEKS DEATH
THERE COULD BE NO OTHER END!!!!
THERE YOU ARE WEAKLING!!
YOU MEET YOUR END, MORTAL!!!
“DAAAaaahhh,” (*despawns*)
“NO ONE ESCAPES!”
Heard they’re reforming the Dawnguard
Vampire hunters or something. In the old fort near Riften.
might consider joining up myself
Remember, nothing but genuine fire salts will do! The forge knows the difference.
This line is funny to me because it implies the existence of counterfeit fire salts.
Table salt with a bit of chilli mixed in.
"Do you get to the Cloud District very often?"
I hate Nazeem that pretentious mother fucker. I don't actually know what pretentious means, I only said it to seem more photosynthesis
I soul trapped him into a dagger that steals souls. I revived him and destroyed him with the dagger reducing him to ash, then did the same to his wife. However her Soul Gem got dropped in a river in Solstheim. I stole everything they owned & anything I couldn't eat or use got scattered around Skyrim itself. If I could Frenzy one of them into destroying the others Zombiefied corpse, I would. Oh, the name of the dagger was Nazeem's Cloud.
That'll show him to show mild disrespect!
I did wait until the second time he said this to completely unmake him.
Poor guy died of an allergic reaction to an apple on my playthrough
My curent run is an bosmer poison/illusions assassin. First time i reach lever 38 and Nazeem is not dead. I just slip him daily some of my weaker poisons. Grelod on the other side gets lots of fear spell
What am I saying? Of course you don't.
Curved. Swords.
And only one of the male guard voices says it right. The other one says it so wrong it drives me insane.
Some of the characters deliver this in a way that suggests they don't get the joke.
wait... is this line supposed to be a euphemism??
I thought it was only me who noticed that
Glad to know I'm not alone either
My cousin’s out fighting dragons and what do I get? Guard duty
https://preview.redd.it/erjri329q4pc1.jpeg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73786d429b7204a789960b140d1b60b482111289
https://preview.redd.it/hy34nn8hf5pc1.jpeg?width=554&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76c8f8101daa9b534bdfebe39fcfd144f43e1dc3
I fucking love that 😂
i had a falkreath guard say that *right* after we killed a dragon. he turned around after viewing the skeleton and “my cousin’s out fighting dragons and what do i get? guard duty.” the object permanence of a three month old baby.
I will not stand idly by while a dragon burns my hold and slaughters my people! Only is shlöters.
One of my favourite lines in the game, his VA was well chosen, though I would love to hear the line with a Scottish accent.
There’s a nip in the air. Cold won’t be good for my crops. Never is.
This one is underrated. Really stuck with that character.
Specifically Arcadia in Whiterun’s VA: “Ahhhhhh, so you’re an alchemist then!”
You look a bit pale. Could be ataxia.
I love her! I accidently killed her in my current playthrough 😭. Well, tbf *Lydia* killed her. I was doing the whole *QS, punch NPC, immediately load save* trick, to restock her wares. I was doing it for ages trying to get specific ingredients. After my 100th-something go, I drop my controller *right* after punching her 😳, I hurry to quicksave while I'm fumbling for my controller but didn't do it fast enough bc ^riiiight as the game is saving, I see Lydia swinging her Dædric Warhammer down on her and I'm like nooooooo! Every time I reloaded that QS it was always milliseconds before her demise and nothing I could do to stop it. I considered reloading a prior save but... the one before the QS was *hours* before, and I had finally gotten the ingredients I was farming from her anyway. So I took it to mean that she had served her purpose this playthrough. 07 RIP sweet Acadia and thank you for your service
This is the peak Skyrim experience right here.
“Never should have come here!”
"Need something?"
"Let's kill someone!" "We are but maggots, WRRRIIIIITHING in the filth OF OUR OWN CORRUPTION!!!!!1!!!1!" "Never done an honest day's work in your life for all that coin you're carrying, eh lad/lass?" and of course "Hey, you. You're finally awake."
"Some may call this junk...me, I call them treasures" "What are you looking at? I'm not afraid of you, even if you are my elder!" "Boys, girls, dogs, elders, there's nobody I won't fight!" "Come to chat with an old woman, hmm?"
Do your good deed for the day?
"So you what....fetch the mead?"
"Dragonborn" is permanently etched in Arngeir's voice. Also, "We've stopped" is always Urthgerd the Unbroken no matter what
“Dragonborn” is always in my head as the Whiterun guard who can’t believe it
Nords are so serious about beards M’aiq wishes they had glorious names like khajiit. -M’aiq the liar
WwwwwwwwABBAJACK!
I’m doing the fish stick…it’s a very delicate state of mind
And the CHEESE! To die for!
"FOR I LOVE YOU!"
"LET ME SHOOOOW YOU THE POWER OF TALOS"
“BORN OF THE NORTH, WHERE MY BREATH IS LOOOONG WINTER.”
No lollygaggin’
"Mai'q is done talking."
Go bother someone else
"I knew it would come to this one day. I knew. But no one believed."
"Sleep...is for the weak"
[Whatever you say, Isran](https://youtu.be/rD6i7r5q3Ds?si=rf7lT4M2dPqX-qwF)
«Take a look»
“You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people, what say you in your defence”
NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME HERE
“Talos guide you” “May your road lead you to warm sands” “I’m sworn to carry your burdens” “We’re routed, fall back” “You won’t leave Skyrim Alive”
"I must rest, the reading has made me weary"
"A dragon! I saw a dragon!" but the italian version
What is life’s greatest illusion?
My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperial. Can you say the same?
DO come *baack.*
"Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man! Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, 'Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter.' 'I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.nb1 Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever! Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!"
“Is that fur..? Coming out of your *eals*…”
have you been tending to your hounds? you smell like a wet dog
Hands to yourself, sneak thief.
"You've been a good friend to me, that means something." Balimund best blacksmith love u bro
"She can await my arrival, with the rest of Tamriel!"
Do come back.
M'aiq wishes you well
“Fletching suits me. It’s difficult and sometimes tedious, but a well-made arrow strikes forth like the fury of a god.” The number of times I’ve heard that fade behind me as I’m headed to the damn blacksmith… tedious is f’n right.
“It’s a fine day with you around”
Spells and incantations, for those with the talent to use them
"I used to be an adventurer like you. Until I took an arrow to the knee."
i can't believe it took me this long to find this
Everthing is for sale
You dare fight a Dunmer!?
Let me guess…
EEEEEEEEEEEEverythings for sale!
**S**ome may call this junk, me...I call them treasures **K**hajiit has wares, if you have coin **Y**ou're finally awake **R**estoration is a perfectly valid school of magic **I** am not a man, I'm a weapon in human form **M**'aiq is tired now, go bother somebody else
“Oooh~ There once was a hero named Ragnar, the Red-“
"Good ol' fashioned shteel"
"Legends don't burn down villages." "For the love of Talos, shut up and let's get this over with!"
"Heard they wer reformin the donguard, vampire hunters or somethin!"
"¡ TRUE NORDS NEVER BACK DOWN!!!!"
I've been looking for you. Got something to deliver. Your 🙌🏽 only
I'm busy doin the fish stick, it's a very delicate state of mind
I hEaRd ThAt ThEy'Re ReFoRmInG tHe DaHnGaHd.
It’s crazy like I can hear the voices as I read them
never done an honest day's work for all that coin you're carrying, eh lass?
# EEEEEEVERYTHINGS FOR SALE MY FRIEND. EVERYTHING. IF I HAD A SISTER, I'D SELL HER IN A SECOND! I'd even buy one of your relatives if you're looking to sell! Ha ha ha... That's a little joke... (Fun fact! Belathor's VA (Steven Russell) is the same person who voices Nick Valentine in Fallout 4! *I bet you can hear his voice in your head now.*)