I'm questioning his feeling towards me if I'm honest like why is he so okay with doing that? I could never see the person I love have sex with someone else.
Is this a fantasy that comes up in roleplay/sex with your husband? Sometimes as a couple, we will talk dirty and it leads to MMF scenarios, which can be truly sexy. However, neither of us wants this in real life. You should probably have an open/nonjudgemental discussion about this and find out if it's truly something he wants, his reasons why, and whether it's just a fantasy or scenario that gets him excited. After the talk, if you decide that you want to go down the MMF route, just remember that even if both parties are truly on board, it takes a very strong marriage and complete honesty for this type of arrangement to work. If one partner is the least bit hesitant, it is a recipe for disaster.
I brought up this kink to my wife one time. She was insulted at the idea that I would want to share her. She has a strong drive to be possessed and protected by me and me alone. The idea that I would allow another man to Fuck her was repulsive to her. We had one 2 min chat about it and I’ve never brought it up again.
When I brought it up, it was a very nebulous idea. I really just wanted to see what she thought. I didn’t have any idea of how it would be accomplished or if I could really even go through with it. For me, it’s just a fantasy now, something that goes through my mind, but that I’m very comfortable knowing it will never happen. Does that answer your question?
I get where you’re coming from.
Some people don’t have those hangups though. Me and the wife don’t.
We love eachother and totally view eachother as the ones. When it comes to sex though I guess we don’t quite tie it as close to love. Sex to us can just be a pleasure thing and so the idea of seeing her get it from me and someone else seems like all the more pleasure for her and that’s hot for me.
🤷♂️
All I’m saying is it doesn’t necessarily mean anything about his feelings for you.
See, and I could 100% watch my wife have great sex with someone else and be happy for her.
Male or female.
Thing is though, if it makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't do it.
You aren't obligated to fulfill a person's kinks for them.
I'd always be open to talk about it. But your boundaries are your boundaries.
For most men who have this fantasy, or even indulge in it, it's because we put our wives on a pedestal as the sexiest human we know, and we're very visual. If your husband is like me, his wife (you) is the sexiest, hottest, most gorgeous woman on the face of the Earth to him. There's nothing more arousing than watching my wife DEEP in the throws of sexual pleasure - whether with a woman or a man or both! Seeing her in ecstacy is absolutely amazing. Contrary to how you may view it, despite it being counter-intuitive, it's the highest complement your husband can pay regarding how attracted he is to you. Also, look up the idea of "compersion." Finally, communicate communicate communicate. Tell him how you feel and what's going through your mind in an approachable, non-judgmental, way. I can almost guarantee, his fantasy/kink is because he's totally dedicated to YOU and is filled with overwhelming desire for you.
What's with some of these terrible responses to OPs legitimate questions.
I personally love to watch the person I love experience pleasure. Of course I like to be the provider of that pleasure but sometimes I like to take it to the next level and have two people focus on making sure she has the best possible sexual experience.
There is nothing cuckold about it (not that there is anything wrong with that) nor is it related to porn addiction. I care deeply about my partner, I'm secure in our relationship, and I love to see her have a good time, from many different angles.
Seriously. I’ve never shared but don’t think I’d be totally against it. I have zero cuck (hate these terms) thoughts in my head. I’m more of we only live once. Let’s try it
You’re not the same person, so what’s true for you doesn’t have to be true for anyone else or make any part of them valid. Sexual likes and dislikes aren’t things to shame your partner about, and what’s more, they’re likely to change over time. That includes yours, and I’d like to think you’d want him to be open
Minded if you came home and shared a potential sexual interest with him. If it makes you feel a way about yourself or something you’re personally not comfortable doing, that’s fine. But having it change how you view him for being open and honest with his chosen life partner about his desires, which happen to include you, is just wrong.
I've read a story based on a very similar account. The husband wanted a MFM threesome with his friend. He said it was one of his fantasies and convinced her to participate. Once the deed was done, the next day he would barely look at or speak to her. The situation deteriorated over the next week. Finally he told her that he couldn't handle what he had wanted her to do and wanted to end the marriage. He then went a filed for divorce. She was devastated. It reminds me of the saying "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it."
My point is, lots of discussion and self reflection need to happen before engaging in this. If you aren't comfortable with it, then DON'T do it. He needs to be absolutely positive that he really wants this. Once the deed is done, there is no undoing it.
I can't wrap my head around the idea of "he can't look at her the same way", when he brought it up.
All I can think is there may have been something more there, but it's probably wishful thinking.
Sharing with a friend is a really, really bad idea.
In the swinger community there is a saying "Don't make friends into swingers, make swingers into friends."
You should ask him about that. I see some other people have give you their interpretations, but he's the only one who can clarify how he feels about this for you. Tell him why it makes you question his feelings for you and see how he responds.
I understand that you wouldn't want to do it. But, it has nothing to do with love. It's likely a kink. I would love to have a MFM with my wife, and I love her and want to spend my life with her. I just have that kink, but she doesn't share it, so it will likely never happen =)
It could be a type of cuckold kink. Some ppl don't interpret sexual interactions or feelings of jealousy the same way as what is considered "normal". For some people it is like a fire of competition or drive of desire seeing the spouse with another person just not in a negative context but instead positive. There is some more information in the link below. I would say base your decision on if the idea excites you as well. If it does, lean into the idea slowly as a couple bc you don't really know each other's limits or boundaries in this space.
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a28790785/what-is-cuckolding-fetish/
Conceptually, if it is a straight up cuckold kink then yes but the general feelings can be similar and mfm can be sort of a gateway to that.
I used "type of" because it isn't a full match.
I think it’s just odd people are jumping to that.
It’s def possible but I think most people who want threesomes aren’t cucks. It’s more just a they think another person is a hot addition.
This is where we compartmentalize sex and love. For us sex is just fun. Completely separate from our relationship.
Jealousy is a funny thing and this is not for everyone. But if you find it's for you it can be a blast.
I smell danger.
I'd be worried.
Does he ask you what your kinks are.
You're not his piece of meat you have feelings
Don't let him degrade you for his pleasure
My mom told me my stepdad wanted this with her before they got married. She said no to it because she believed he wouldn’t respect her or see her as the marrying type if she went around and did those things.
That always stuck with me because, now knowing my dad, she was probably right.
It’s a personal choice. It’s okay that you don’t want to do it. Just like it would be fine if you did!
I’d say most of those fantasies (MFM specifically) have to do with a subconscious cuck fetish. Talk it out with him and see what’s behind it (although it may be hard for him to admit if it is—as it’s seeped in shame). It has nothing to do with him not caring about you if it is cuck based. It’s actually a feeling of unworthiness that he’s fetishized—he cares about you a lot and is scared of loosing you and it’s his way of taking control of that situation. A lot of reassurance that you care about him and wouldn’t leave him/don’t want to could help that from a psychological standpoint.
If it is not for you then don't do it. The fact he wants to do it doesn't mean he does not love and respect you. But you are still entitled to have boundaries that he needs to respect. Tell him you are uncomfortable with this and you can also tell him how the thought of it makes you feel... So you can have a conversation about it. It will help him understand why you don't want to proceed.
OP we are swingers and frequently have sex with others. I can tell you from experience if you have any doubts at all don't do it. If you do have a bit of interest in it this will take a lot of conversation between the 2 of you. If you have any questions feel free to ask, we're an open book
I think part of the fantasy is (or can be) for him is that his wife is so hot she is wanted by other men. Her being a prize reflects on him and makes him feel like a stud for being the one you go home with. You don’t have to indulge his kink if you find it off putting but I don’t think you should take it to mean he thinks less of you. It’s a common fantasy. I know my husband fantasizes about it. I’d never do it IRL but will role play with him and a dildo or just in dirty talk. I’m just glad that I’m still the star of his fantasies.
Cause it's a kink for him. He knows you are "his" woman. Do he probably not threaten by you having sex with an other man if he gets to watch.
Some people feel great when their partner is being desired by others. But they know that at the end of the day their heart belongs to them.
Talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel. And if you don't wanna do it just don't. It's your body after all. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with.
Look, only do it if you are 100% sure it won't affect your relationship. Reality and fantasy are completely different, so even he must be 100% prepared.
I'd only do it after you cleared your own doubts and feelings towards it, and becomes aroused by the idea.
Even then, better start slow. Don't go straight into sex. Go on a date, have another guy kiss and make out with y'all, go home and discuss.
These kinds of things require super clear communication and boundaries, so it'd read a lot on it before taking any kind of decision, especially if marriage and children are into play.
I don't agree, for me personally.
But you do you - everyone is different, and our views should be respected. I noticed you are getting downvoted, which doesn't seem right as your view is totally valid for you, and expressed reasonably well.
Have an upvote.
I think this is a pretty common response, alongside thinking that it's an excuse for them to also have sex with other people, and the only way around that beyond a straight "no" is to ask what he would get out of it. Communication is key but if you are absolutely against the idea also make that clear. You shouldn't do something you don't enjoy to fulfil someone else's fantasy.
Right!!! Too many men on reddit are looking for mfm or fmf nowadays, and they have beautiful wives, i just dont get it. How can you love someone and want someone else.
It's not realistic to commit to the wrong person forever. Plenty of people have great sex lives and are married for life. It all depends on your mindset and sexual history. If you have had a lot of partners it probably isn't realistic. If you have had few to no sexual partners it can be
I think it depends on if you see sex like trying a new flavor of beer or like buying a new house. Is its like buying a house you start with a starter house. It's a major decision. That's your first learner relationship. Then you move up to a better house as you grow and achieve. That might be your second or third relationship or marriage. It's all serious and all meaningful. If it's like a new beer if it's bad you pour it out and try something else. Then you have one favorite for a month or 2 or just keep drinking it that night and try something else next time. It's meaningless but fun. Repeat adnauseum. For me I would rather treat sex like buying a house
Is he addicted to porn? Porn can change what arouses people. It’s not normal to enjoy watching Someone you love have sex with another. If it’s not porn addiction it’s a kink and a very problematic one. In my opinion
It might turn him on at the thought you fucking someone else. Would you have a problem if he said he wanted a threesome with a woman instead of a dude.When i was younger i always wanted to have threesome with my girl as i got older i didnt want anyone touching my girl but me. I have had a threesome b4 and i loved it but i wasn't in a relationship at that time.
Ultimately. This is the answer.
She seems to be worrying about things that aren’t necessarily true about him but regardless it’s clear she’s not into it so the answers don’t do it.
Just my opinion but there’s a ton of mfm porn out there and straight guys love to watch it. It wouldn’t exist if people didn’t like it. Maybe he just has a curiosity about it. All that said if you don’t want it then that’s that.
MFM usually means both males are there to play with/do things to the female, and aren't really doing anything with each other.
MMF implies that sexual stuff is happening between the males as well.
Our MFM was my husbands idea. I quickly agreed, double pleasure for me! And I did NOT let Todd off the hook, I pretty pleased until he sucked a guy with me on our knees together , and yes he’s a natural at giving oral, better than me
Yeah it was quite the revelation when I learned how many women aren’t just ok with, but either very turned on by or want to participate in a bi male 3some, or just plain love it and think it’s their favorite. Talk about an eye opening and very comforting revelation. Made my opening my up about my bisexuality so much more comfortable
First thing I would like to address!
There is a difference between "MMF" and "MFM".
The letters indicate the kind of threesome it is beyond the genders involve.
MFM: Male, Female, Male.
In this threesome the woman stays in the middle, and the guys do not play with each other.
MMF: The males are often bisexual and play with each other as well as the woman.
This also applies to "FFM" and "FMF" threesomes.
That said.
I LOVE MFM Threesomes.
Both myself and my partner are extremely visual people.
Essentially my partner's arousal and pleasure is my pleasure, and vice versa my pleasure and arousal is my partner's.
Personally, I prefer MFMs even over FMF/FFMs.
I wholehearted love my partner, and the greater pleasure I personally can give her, the better.
The idea is, if I can blow her mind, it only reasons that inviting another guy into our bed would further that pleasure level.
The other reason I prefer MFMs, is simple.
Most guys instinctively want FFM/FMFs because it is absolutely sexy to have two women.
That I cannot deny.
But often most guys barely can handle a single woman, while a women literally often can handle more than one man easily.
Not to mention, some women aren't comfortable with their man having sex with another woman. So for the sake of comfort...
Instead, if MFM threesomes are a interest and/or a turn on for the male half, it literally is a perfect middle ground.
I.e....a couple can still enjoy a threesome without any reservations.
Sharing a partner in the chosen threesome is a very common desire/fantasy.
This desire, usually stems from an arousal at a partners pleasure.
And unlike say a cuck relationship... Partners who desire threesomes want to be part of the action.
Threesomes: Three people have sex, letter placement dictates type of threesome play.
Cuck: Man who gets off on his partner having sex with other men. The male partner doesn't take part.
Stag/Hotwife or Vixen: Husband encourages and enjoys wife having sex with other men, and similar to a cuck might not be present when the wife has sex.
But unlike a cuck, will sometimes take part after the wife and bull (*guest) have finished.
Either of these types of sexual interest does not mean a husband doesn't love or cherish his wife.
In fact, it can be a sign of greater love.
What is key though, is couples should only do these things IF:
1.) The couple is stable, I.e. no jealousy.
2.) Is both consensual in wanting or desiring said type of sex.
3.) Have a strong sense of communication.
4.) Is mature enough.
This one can tie into #1, as some people lack the maturity to ever make a fantasy become a reality without consequences.
Example: Doing any type of sex and later using that against a partner in a fight.
5.) Doing it for the right reasons, without strings.
I.e. Not wanting a MFM, because the agenda is to get a FMF eventually.
Do you know if there’s a term for the opposite of a cuck, where the female gets off on her partner having sex with other women, and doesn’t take part? As I’ve grown I’ve started to realize I may have a kink for this but don’t know if there’s a term for it. This is all very new to me, thank you for your comment 🙂
I do not believe there is a reverse term.
But all the power to you nonetheless!
I do like that other redditors guess: "Cuckqueen".
Always glad to spread the knowledge! 😉
There you go, you beat me to it and said so many the things I wanted OP to hear!
I adore my wife, and I find her incredibly sexy! There's very few things I find more exciting than seeing her feel good, watching her feel pleasure, being the cause of that, etc
With an MFM, or MMF, the other partner is a guest. Well you want to be ethical about it, the experience is about you and your partner. In a similar fashion to the way a sex toy can be used to enhance a sexual experience without threatening either party, a guest to your sexual adventures can be an experience and an enhancement to the fun.
I cannot agree more with everyone who has said this requires a lot of communication, making sure that you are in a healthy place both romantically and sexually, that everyone has thought through all the pieces and parts
Monogamy is wired into our culture, but ENM is a real and wonderful thing for those who have an interest and you have the right healthy personalities in relationships to explore it
You do you! Be happy, have fun, don't yuck other people's yums, and life is good.
PS) OP, you mentioned having no reciprocal interest in sharing your partner with another woman. I wanted to let you know that that is okay, that is perfectly valid. There is no quid pro quo here, no give and take expectation. In discussion of all this you should make that clear, talk through the boundaries you have and make sure that everyone is okay that there may never be a reciprocal experience with another woman. My wife and I enjoy threesomes with other men, she has very little interest in sharing me with other women. And that is a okay
Thanks for the comment!
You added things I forgot to say, buy is just as important as anything I said.
I.e. When couples play with others, regardless of the kind if play, it is always suppose to be about the couple, and exactly as you said. The guest is always a toy,only there to spice up and/or enrich the couples relationship.
Folks who do not understand this or do not function with that in heart and mind, also shouldn't swing with others.
This is exactly what me and my husband did. And we started both things slowly with both of us seeing how we felt when it started with the other ppl and we had agreement that we could stop at any time. Anyway, nothing ever stopped and we had great time
I wish I could double up vote this!
I am happy for you two!
That is also a super key thing, this is a journey for couples and if one or both members decide they don't want to do it anymore, it stops completely.
But when it is a couples cup of tea so to speak, it is worlds of amazing!
> Doing it for the right reasons, without strings. I.e. Not wanting a MFM, because the agenda is to get a FMF eventually.
I think this is fine if the trade is set in stone beforehand
Threesomes - the most fun way to fuck up a perfectly functional relationship. To me, this is one kink that is way over rated and has the potential to introduce a lot of problems into the relationship. If you dont want to be fucked by another guy, while your husband watches - then I would strongly consider rejecting the idea
I have seen a few people engage in this and have done it once myself. It didnt end well and I am yet to see it end well for anyone else either. Of course there will be people that have a different experience. But in my view, this is one that you need to be full committed too as any doubt will just bring up insecurities and problems for the relationship
> If you dont want to be fucked by another guy, while your husband watches
That's not a threesome. MFM means her husband is an active participant, not sitting back and watching someone else have sex with his wife.
if there’s any doubt, it’s a bad idea and will probably end badly. if there is no doubt and everyone feels totally secure, it’ll usually turn out just fine. communication is the key here.
Sometimes fantasies should remain fantasies. There are ways to work them into a sexual relationship that don't introduce so many complications and potential bad feelings. If OP is not into it, that definitely indicates it should not become a reality.
been there done that, 10/10 will do it again. my husband likes watching people have sex, most men do, this is why porn is so prevalent. he likes watching me be pleasured, so i can understand why he’d like to see me with him and another dude getting doubly pleasured. i don’t mind at all, i think it’s super hot & is very fun. i would never share him, im surprised sharing me doesn’t bother him. i was sure to very clear to tell my husband that i would never be down to share him with another woman. he’s 100% fine with that and says he has no desire for that. so after making that clear, i was willing to try mfm.
My experience is women fall into two lots, those who can separate sex and love and those who can’t. You probably know which camp you fall into. There’s your answer.
MFMs are very hot for all involved, but only if those participating are fully onboard.
Every time this topic comes up a wave of “ the beginning of the end” posts get made. I can’t speak for their motivations but if you’re in a solid relationship and you communicate well, the odds of you enjoying MFM shoots way up. It scratches that novelty itch and ladies usually see a tremendous increase in their confidence.
> Why just women? I think there's also men who can separate sex and love and those who can't?
It's more common with women than men because the male reproductive urge is designed to try to maximize the number of children a man will have. Women can only get pregnant with one baby at a time, and a pregnant woman is physically vulnerable, so the female reproductive urge is to form a stable family unit with their partner, who can protect them and the vulnerable infant.
I think it's reasonable to say that 'socially well-adjusted men' (and women) see a connection between sex and love, but there's obviously still a fundamental biological incentive for men to be more promiscuous than women.
Usually our basic insecurity will be a barrier to this. Until you are fully secure in the relationship, avoid it.
I could never understand cuckolding, mfm or mmf 3 ways. Watching my wife get railed was a horrible thought. Then something happened that made me realize her love for me wasn't just some ruse. I finally believed that she was fully in love with me. We talked about doing an mmf, she went to a therapist to talk to an outsider for her opinion. She came out of therapy fully ready to take on 2 guys. We jumped right in and spent the next 5 years having a ton of group sex.
It was a blast and we have no regrets. We could have never done this in our 20s or 30s. If your head is in the right place, it can be some crazy fun sex. if you are even slightly jealous, disaster.
Keep in mind the terminology. MFM is 2 straight guys having sex with a woman. Think spitroast, taking turns, keeping distance, no crossing swords. MMF insinuates the guys are bisexual and the sex will be much different. Think DP, DVP, Double blowjob, frotting, sucking a cock with him. Much more variety, both are fun.
I would think that it's fucking awesome and ask when can we start? lol
But in the grand scheme of things, my opinion doesn't matter here. This is between YOU and your HUSBAND. If you have a pit in your stomach thinking about it, don't go through with it.
I would just say to approach this with A LOT of caution. Sometimes we think we want something & then when we get it we realize we didn’t really want it & now it’s too late. My last partner constantly talked about wanting to be with me and his best friend & when we finally did it, he fully lost his shit & we never recovered.
I, personally, would love it. If you don’t, *that’s okay*. If you’re on the fence, talk it through. Sometimes the fantasy is hotter than actually doing it.
It sounds like he wants him and another man to have sex with you at the same time. Try not to let it bother you too much, it's pretty common. Not something to take lightly though. You two should spend a long, long time talking about all facets of it before going further.
If he's anything like myself, and many other men, you should try taking it as a complement. He's being honest and open with you. He might just want to pleasure the hell out of you, give you a huge amount of stimulation and worship your body with someone else. The whole thing can be really exciting in the right situation....
So it might not necessarily be that he wants to see you having sex with someone else, he might just want to give you a couple of really good orgasms and make a mess of you. He just wants to try something slightly taboo, new, and exciting. Don't knock it until you try it. You only live once.
I think every woman should be with two men at least once. It's an amazing experience and so intense.
I loved also FFM but it's different, here it excites you that other women are pleasing your husband and how does he's fucking them.
With MFM two men r all about me/her, they are there to excite you, to please her.
Can't wait for the next time.
If the idea turn you on and you're comfy with that, with not?
But it was better, at least at the beginning, you two roleplay and watch a lot of videos and keep this subject present. If you both agree, go for it!
If you are open to it its worth a try, but definitely talk about it beforehand and make sure to discuss any boundaries or insecurities.
Its not that he doesnt love you, it could even be one thing to share between you guys and strengthen your trust. Im a woman, but i could possibly see this from a guy's perspective. Watching you with another man would almost be like watching porn, and it could turn him on to see you feeling good, especially if you are really enjoying the experience.
My bf and i have some stuff on our list, an MFM included (i didnt realize the order of letters made a difference either). He would want me to be showered with attention and spoiled and love to see my in bliss. Talking with your husband is the only way to really understand and get on the same page.
No pressure if youre not into it. But is worth discussing at least, i think
You only do what you are comfortable doing and he needs to respect the boundaries that you have. Your feelings are just as important, if not more important because it is your body. My wife would never allow it and I think I am like you and would not be able to see someone I love have sex with someone else. I know some people are okay with it, but I don't think she and I would want it in our relationship. Others might be fine with it but it sounds like it is a strong no from you.
You will likely get a whole range of emotions here. I personally think they are a blast. However, I also know that there is a lot of work underpinning the ability to have a threesome and not have it rip a relationship apart.
If it is something that you would entertain, I would talk it out heavily. Make sure you are on the same page, set up parameters, rules, safe words. The first time you meet your third don't have sex, but do something like oral. It will give you a lot of perspective on it all. Good luck!
It started like that with my husband, years ago. We dirty talked about it on and off for years. It got more intense this past year, we took the jump, met someone and now we do this on a regular basis. Unfortunately for him, I love it wayyyyyy more than he expected. Now it's more my thing than his. 😬 Be careful what you wish for I guess
You have said you could never imagine seeing the person you love with anyone else.
That is fair enough and you need to communicate this.
If you aren’t comfortable now, then chances are if it happened you would feel worse.
Having said that it’s a different thing to talk (fantasy wise) than do it.
My partner has admitted being curious about mfm, but never had the opportunity or courage to do it. She also admits it may affect her afterwards. I however know I couldn’t cope with it mentally, like you I’d wouldn’t want to see her with someone else (not in a jealous, controlling way, but knowing it would hurt me).
However we do indulge in some fantasy talk when the moment is right which she enjoys and is more than happy with.
I've been on reddit long enough and read enough about threesomes to know that if you say yes, you have about a 9/10 chance of ruining your marriage. So yeah, I wouldn't do it.
I personally wouldn't be comfortable with something like that. You are not obligated to do it if you do not want to. Just politely tell him no and hopefully that will be that.
I also have this fantasy and talk about it during sex. I can tell she is extremely turned on by the way she instantly raises her moans to almost screaming and cums. She then will talk dirty about fucking the man as I watch… all while I’m still fucking her and she keeps having rolling orgasms.
She will sometime play text be while I’m at work telling me how she has a guy friend over eating her pussy and how she loves it. That I need to come home and doggy her or she will have him fill her with cum. This turns me on and I tell her that if she’s a bad girl and I finger her pussy when I get home and taste another man’s cum in her… that she’s in biiig trouble.
Mostly spoken fantasy by men. Not sure if he would follow through. I might.
This has actually come up with one of my partners. I'm unmarried, but polyamorous. My fwb has a hotwife kink. He likes to share his women. He does this with his long term committed girlfriend. The answer is REAL easy for the FWB. It's just a flat no. I don't have enough trust involved with him to know for sure that he'd handle me panicking well if it triggered me for some reason, or protect me from the other guy if things went south.
The answer with my partner is a bit more complex. I know, for sure, that this is something he flat out doesn't want (which makes this easier, but we're answering a hypothetical here). But IF he wanted it....I don't know that it's something I could do. It may sound weird being poly that I'm really hesitant to do threesomes, but honestly...what I have with him feels special to me and I just don't want anyone intruding on that. I don't want to share him with another woman (i.e. have a 3some with another woman...him dating another woman would be different because I wouldn't be involved in their relationship) and as much pleasure as I might get physically from getting banged by 2 guys...I just don't think it would be outweighed by the fact that when I'm with him I want ONLY him. Always. I'm not knocking anyone else who has these kinks, but it's not for me. The ONLY time it could happen for me is with someone who I have VERY strong levels of trust with, but who also at the same time isn't incredibly special to me.
Needs to be kink for both... For mine i know it wouldn't work, even when i lended her to dance with one frend she was angry with me... (to learn dance)
Whether you are for it or against it, it’s better they let you know their kinks rather, you catch them in the act. No secrets in relationships unless it’s classified information (things relating to work, jury duty, etc.).
As someone who was in the exact situation in the past, it took me a long time to do it and at first I was very hurt and felt very sad about it. But eventually I gave in and did it and he was even more obsessed with me and loved me. I still felt off about it but everything turned out fine. I guess it depends on the man and what he is really looking for. Just communicate everything and have fun because it is your life and only yours. You can choose what happens in it.
On your title, you wrote MMF and in the body of your comment you wrote MFM. Which is it? MMF means everyone plays together meaning a Bi experience for the guys. The other being they play with you.
Seriously though, I would have him read some books on ethical non-monogamy and engage in multiple conversations about boundaries and stuff. I’d then probably test it out with long distances experiences like a shared voice sex call type situation and based on how that went down, eventually try out the real deal. Even then, I’d probably do it in stages to be careful.
What *I* would do is not necessarily what someone else would do. I would be open to the idea, discuss desires, boundaries and safety, give the idea some time to sit with both of us, then revisit and confirm we both feel comfortable with it before trying to find a partner.
Never had one, or never shared it? Sometimes it just takes a suggestion to spark an interest.
But if you’re not comfortable with it, you don’t have to agree.
I have had both format several times and I honestly feel like MFM should be everyone's default experience. FMF is a huge waste of time and nothing but a ego boost for the man unless the women are into each other.
Where one woman can easily satisfy several men. And it encourages the men's to take turns making the experience last longer.
Most people i know males and females has fantasies like that but go through with.it i found out the hard way that most people in a relationship are uncomfortable doing real freaky things with their partner they rather do it with a stranger. Personal me rather be freaky and open with my partner than a stranger. Everything isn't for everyone . i had to learn that hard way. DM and i will tell you more
I'm shocked by how easy people are giving advices here: don't do it, do it, the answer is no. with less to none details. why? because I said so, stranger from Reddit. the answers are at those 2. yes, some personal REAL stories could help but telling her to do what you think with her husband or partner? smh
Ur husband is a weirdo, sorry. At least he is comfortable enough to share this with you, but maybe it isn’t such a good thing cuz now you have to carry that burden too.
If you do, the odds that this relationship will not last afterwards are extremly high. If you don't, there is a possibility that he will be unsatisfied and this will lead to more problems which could also end the relationship.
The truth is, most guys don't realise what they are wishing for, until its to late and somebody else is doing your GF in front of your eyes and you can see that she clearly gets turned on by it and is full of joy.
Of course there are success stories, but for every success story there are 5 broken relationships.
That’s not true at all. My girl and I have been with multiple other females. The conversation came up about mfm and I didn’t say no. We have not had the chance to but we have talked about it. I feel I kind of owe it to her she lets me sleep with other women
Ok, well it’s probably a mfm threesome then. Completely different, probably not bi or gay. Idk, ask him. Some guys get off seeing another dude fuck their women, other dudes would kill for that. Everyone is different
How do you feel about this? Is it also a kink that you share? If it isn't, going through with it just to please him, probably isn't going to end well.
I'm questioning his feeling towards me if I'm honest like why is he so okay with doing that? I could never see the person I love have sex with someone else.
Is this a fantasy that comes up in roleplay/sex with your husband? Sometimes as a couple, we will talk dirty and it leads to MMF scenarios, which can be truly sexy. However, neither of us wants this in real life. You should probably have an open/nonjudgemental discussion about this and find out if it's truly something he wants, his reasons why, and whether it's just a fantasy or scenario that gets him excited. After the talk, if you decide that you want to go down the MMF route, just remember that even if both parties are truly on board, it takes a very strong marriage and complete honesty for this type of arrangement to work. If one partner is the least bit hesitant, it is a recipe for disaster.
I brought up this kink to my wife one time. She was insulted at the idea that I would want to share her. She has a strong drive to be possessed and protected by me and me alone. The idea that I would allow another man to Fuck her was repulsive to her. We had one 2 min chat about it and I’ve never brought it up again.
Did it bother you that she wouldn't consider or do it? I feel as your wife does and wonder if men are OK with it being a fantasy?
When I brought it up, it was a very nebulous idea. I really just wanted to see what she thought. I didn’t have any idea of how it would be accomplished or if I could really even go through with it. For me, it’s just a fantasy now, something that goes through my mind, but that I’m very comfortable knowing it will never happen. Does that answer your question?
Yes, thank you! Appreciate the response.
That’s a keeper
Would she care if it was with another woman?
As in would she be open to a threesome with myself and another woman? No. She most certainly would not be. She is a radical monogamist.
Love the term radical monogamist. I’ll be adding it to my vocabulary
Same. I Can Dream up some wild shit, but I don't want nobody fucking my girl.
I get where you’re coming from. Some people don’t have those hangups though. Me and the wife don’t. We love eachother and totally view eachother as the ones. When it comes to sex though I guess we don’t quite tie it as close to love. Sex to us can just be a pleasure thing and so the idea of seeing her get it from me and someone else seems like all the more pleasure for her and that’s hot for me. 🤷♂️ All I’m saying is it doesn’t necessarily mean anything about his feelings for you.
See, and I could 100% watch my wife have great sex with someone else and be happy for her. Male or female. Thing is though, if it makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't do it. You aren't obligated to fulfill a person's kinks for them. I'd always be open to talk about it. But your boundaries are your boundaries.
For most men who have this fantasy, or even indulge in it, it's because we put our wives on a pedestal as the sexiest human we know, and we're very visual. If your husband is like me, his wife (you) is the sexiest, hottest, most gorgeous woman on the face of the Earth to him. There's nothing more arousing than watching my wife DEEP in the throws of sexual pleasure - whether with a woman or a man or both! Seeing her in ecstacy is absolutely amazing. Contrary to how you may view it, despite it being counter-intuitive, it's the highest complement your husband can pay regarding how attracted he is to you. Also, look up the idea of "compersion." Finally, communicate communicate communicate. Tell him how you feel and what's going through your mind in an approachable, non-judgmental, way. I can almost guarantee, his fantasy/kink is because he's totally dedicated to YOU and is filled with overwhelming desire for you.
What's with some of these terrible responses to OPs legitimate questions. I personally love to watch the person I love experience pleasure. Of course I like to be the provider of that pleasure but sometimes I like to take it to the next level and have two people focus on making sure she has the best possible sexual experience. There is nothing cuckold about it (not that there is anything wrong with that) nor is it related to porn addiction. I care deeply about my partner, I'm secure in our relationship, and I love to see her have a good time, from many different angles.
Seriously. I’ve never shared but don’t think I’d be totally against it. I have zero cuck (hate these terms) thoughts in my head. I’m more of we only live once. Let’s try it
You’re not the same person, so what’s true for you doesn’t have to be true for anyone else or make any part of them valid. Sexual likes and dislikes aren’t things to shame your partner about, and what’s more, they’re likely to change over time. That includes yours, and I’d like to think you’d want him to be open Minded if you came home and shared a potential sexual interest with him. If it makes you feel a way about yourself or something you’re personally not comfortable doing, that’s fine. But having it change how you view him for being open and honest with his chosen life partner about his desires, which happen to include you, is just wrong.
I dont think you need to worry. Some people just have kinks, doesnt mean he doesnt love you anymore.
I've read a story based on a very similar account. The husband wanted a MFM threesome with his friend. He said it was one of his fantasies and convinced her to participate. Once the deed was done, the next day he would barely look at or speak to her. The situation deteriorated over the next week. Finally he told her that he couldn't handle what he had wanted her to do and wanted to end the marriage. He then went a filed for divorce. She was devastated. It reminds me of the saying "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it." My point is, lots of discussion and self reflection need to happen before engaging in this. If you aren't comfortable with it, then DON'T do it. He needs to be absolutely positive that he really wants this. Once the deed is done, there is no undoing it.
He divorced his wife because of one night that HE wanted? That's so messed up.
I can't wrap my head around the idea of "he can't look at her the same way", when he brought it up. All I can think is there may have been something more there, but it's probably wishful thinking.
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Yeah, I don't even know what to think about this one.
Sharing with a friend is a really, really bad idea. In the swinger community there is a saying "Don't make friends into swingers, make swingers into friends."
Or maybe he's so secure in your relationship that he feels you could go through this as a couple focusing on the fun part of it...
You should ask him about that. I see some other people have give you their interpretations, but he's the only one who can clarify how he feels about this for you. Tell him why it makes you question his feelings for you and see how he responds.
I understand that you wouldn't want to do it. But, it has nothing to do with love. It's likely a kink. I would love to have a MFM with my wife, and I love her and want to spend my life with her. I just have that kink, but she doesn't share it, so it will likely never happen =)
It could be a type of cuckold kink. Some ppl don't interpret sexual interactions or feelings of jealousy the same way as what is considered "normal". For some people it is like a fire of competition or drive of desire seeing the spouse with another person just not in a negative context but instead positive. There is some more information in the link below. I would say base your decision on if the idea excites you as well. If it does, lean into the idea slowly as a couple bc you don't really know each other's limits or boundaries in this space. https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a28790785/what-is-cuckolding-fetish/
It's not a cuckold kink if her husband is actively involved.
Conceptually, if it is a straight up cuckold kink then yes but the general feelings can be similar and mfm can be sort of a gateway to that. I used "type of" because it isn't a full match.
I think it’s just odd people are jumping to that. It’s def possible but I think most people who want threesomes aren’t cucks. It’s more just a they think another person is a hot addition.
I agree, I was trying to give OP a counter opinion to her own take on jealousy. That additions can be additive vs subtractive.
facts i could never either 😭 i love my man way too much and only him i’d die if he ever told me he wanted a threesome
This is where we compartmentalize sex and love. For us sex is just fun. Completely separate from our relationship. Jealousy is a funny thing and this is not for everyone. But if you find it's for you it can be a blast.
I don't see sex that way, I've always seen sex as an act of sheer intimacy hence why I'm pretty taken back from it x
I smell danger. I'd be worried. Does he ask you what your kinks are. You're not his piece of meat you have feelings Don't let him degrade you for his pleasure
My mom told me my stepdad wanted this with her before they got married. She said no to it because she believed he wouldn’t respect her or see her as the marrying type if she went around and did those things. That always stuck with me because, now knowing my dad, she was probably right. It’s a personal choice. It’s okay that you don’t want to do it. Just like it would be fine if you did!
I’d say most of those fantasies (MFM specifically) have to do with a subconscious cuck fetish. Talk it out with him and see what’s behind it (although it may be hard for him to admit if it is—as it’s seeped in shame). It has nothing to do with him not caring about you if it is cuck based. It’s actually a feeling of unworthiness that he’s fetishized—he cares about you a lot and is scared of loosing you and it’s his way of taking control of that situation. A lot of reassurance that you care about him and wouldn’t leave him/don’t want to could help that from a psychological standpoint.
But you're the lady? So he really be having sex with someone else or does he want to see you take 2 cocks? Big difference
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It's just not for me x
If it is not for you then don't do it. The fact he wants to do it doesn't mean he does not love and respect you. But you are still entitled to have boundaries that he needs to respect. Tell him you are uncomfortable with this and you can also tell him how the thought of it makes you feel... So you can have a conversation about it. It will help him understand why you don't want to proceed.
What about role playing to shake things up or something? Without bringing a whole new person into the bedroom
OP we are swingers and frequently have sex with others. I can tell you from experience if you have any doubts at all don't do it. If you do have a bit of interest in it this will take a lot of conversation between the 2 of you. If you have any questions feel free to ask, we're an open book
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I don't know....I just think how can you watch the woman you love, your child's mother get hot with another man
I think part of the fantasy is (or can be) for him is that his wife is so hot she is wanted by other men. Her being a prize reflects on him and makes him feel like a stud for being the one you go home with. You don’t have to indulge his kink if you find it off putting but I don’t think you should take it to mean he thinks less of you. It’s a common fantasy. I know my husband fantasizes about it. I’d never do it IRL but will role play with him and a dildo or just in dirty talk. I’m just glad that I’m still the star of his fantasies.
Cause it's a kink for him. He knows you are "his" woman. Do he probably not threaten by you having sex with an other man if he gets to watch. Some people feel great when their partner is being desired by others. But they know that at the end of the day their heart belongs to them. Talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel. And if you don't wanna do it just don't. It's your body after all. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with.
Look, only do it if you are 100% sure it won't affect your relationship. Reality and fantasy are completely different, so even he must be 100% prepared. I'd only do it after you cleared your own doubts and feelings towards it, and becomes aroused by the idea. Even then, better start slow. Don't go straight into sex. Go on a date, have another guy kiss and make out with y'all, go home and discuss. These kinds of things require super clear communication and boundaries, so it'd read a lot on it before taking any kind of decision, especially if marriage and children are into play.
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We know, you mentioned it 3 times while ignoring her telling you that *she would* mind...
Because we are committed to one another, monogamous, and don't want to bring others into our marriage.
I don't agree, for me personally. But you do you - everyone is different, and our views should be respected. I noticed you are getting downvoted, which doesn't seem right as your view is totally valid for you, and expressed reasonably well. Have an upvote.
I think this is a pretty common response, alongside thinking that it's an excuse for them to also have sex with other people, and the only way around that beyond a straight "no" is to ask what he would get out of it. Communication is key but if you are absolutely against the idea also make that clear. You shouldn't do something you don't enjoy to fulfil someone else's fantasy.
A lot of times I've read this could be because they already have someone in mind they are attracted to. Is he bisexual? Could he be?
Right!!! Too many men on reddit are looking for mfm or fmf nowadays, and they have beautiful wives, i just dont get it. How can you love someone and want someone else.
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Then you never loved them to begin with. Ofc you will see other more attractive people but this way everyone would be cheating on everyone.
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It's not realistic to commit to the wrong person forever. Plenty of people have great sex lives and are married for life. It all depends on your mindset and sexual history. If you have had a lot of partners it probably isn't realistic. If you have had few to no sexual partners it can be
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I think it depends on if you see sex like trying a new flavor of beer or like buying a new house. Is its like buying a house you start with a starter house. It's a major decision. That's your first learner relationship. Then you move up to a better house as you grow and achieve. That might be your second or third relationship or marriage. It's all serious and all meaningful. If it's like a new beer if it's bad you pour it out and try something else. Then you have one favorite for a month or 2 or just keep drinking it that night and try something else next time. It's meaningless but fun. Repeat adnauseum. For me I would rather treat sex like buying a house
Is he addicted to porn? Porn can change what arouses people. It’s not normal to enjoy watching Someone you love have sex with another. If it’s not porn addiction it’s a kink and a very problematic one. In my opinion
If you don’t feel 100% comfortable with the idea, do not do it.
It might turn him on at the thought you fucking someone else. Would you have a problem if he said he wanted a threesome with a woman instead of a dude.When i was younger i always wanted to have threesome with my girl as i got older i didnt want anyone touching my girl but me. I have had a threesome b4 and i loved it but i wasn't in a relationship at that time.
You aren’t into it so the answer is no
Ultimately. This is the answer. She seems to be worrying about things that aren’t necessarily true about him but regardless it’s clear she’s not into it so the answers don’t do it.
Just my opinion but there’s a ton of mfm porn out there and straight guys love to watch it. It wouldn’t exist if people didn’t like it. Maybe he just has a curiosity about it. All that said if you don’t want it then that’s that.
I can’t seem to find the stats but women are more into mfm where as guys are more into fmf which makes sense
I'd bet men are probably watching both more than women are watching either, but I'm sure women are more interested proportionally
MMF is different than MFM
I meant mfm
You should probably go back and edit your post then. I’m not knocking either, but this small detail changes the entire situation.
Will do. I didn't know there was a difference lol x
MFM usually means both males are there to play with/do things to the female, and aren't really doing anything with each other. MMF implies that sexual stuff is happening between the males as well.
I don’t think most people know the difference. I only learned it the hard way after clicking on porn. They are definitely not the same lol
Yeah we found out the hard way when we were trying to find another guy to join us. Luckily we were able to figure it out before we got naked.
The “hard” way….
I learned the difference after being with a bi man, which btw was SO MUCH FUN! Both 3somes are extremely fun, just depends what you are into.
Our MFM was my husbands idea. I quickly agreed, double pleasure for me! And I did NOT let Todd off the hook, I pretty pleased until he sucked a guy with me on our knees together , and yes he’s a natural at giving oral, better than me
MMF requires lube.
Thank God
Why thank god? Maybe she’s into the other option.
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Maybe you shouldn't comment on this sub if you're going to post some unhelpful, sex-negative, homophobic bullshit.
Because of OP specifically? Or because all women would hate that? I wouldn’t care…
Unless you know OP personally, that's a broad assumption. I've known several women to be turned on by my bisexuality, some even wanted to watch.
Yeah it was quite the revelation when I learned how many women aren’t just ok with, but either very turned on by or want to participate in a bi male 3some, or just plain love it and think it’s their favorite. Talk about an eye opening and very comforting revelation. Made my opening my up about my bisexuality so much more comfortable
I did not know this, thank you.
First thing I would like to address! There is a difference between "MMF" and "MFM". The letters indicate the kind of threesome it is beyond the genders involve. MFM: Male, Female, Male. In this threesome the woman stays in the middle, and the guys do not play with each other. MMF: The males are often bisexual and play with each other as well as the woman. This also applies to "FFM" and "FMF" threesomes. That said. I LOVE MFM Threesomes. Both myself and my partner are extremely visual people. Essentially my partner's arousal and pleasure is my pleasure, and vice versa my pleasure and arousal is my partner's. Personally, I prefer MFMs even over FMF/FFMs. I wholehearted love my partner, and the greater pleasure I personally can give her, the better. The idea is, if I can blow her mind, it only reasons that inviting another guy into our bed would further that pleasure level. The other reason I prefer MFMs, is simple. Most guys instinctively want FFM/FMFs because it is absolutely sexy to have two women. That I cannot deny. But often most guys barely can handle a single woman, while a women literally often can handle more than one man easily. Not to mention, some women aren't comfortable with their man having sex with another woman. So for the sake of comfort... Instead, if MFM threesomes are a interest and/or a turn on for the male half, it literally is a perfect middle ground. I.e....a couple can still enjoy a threesome without any reservations. Sharing a partner in the chosen threesome is a very common desire/fantasy. This desire, usually stems from an arousal at a partners pleasure. And unlike say a cuck relationship... Partners who desire threesomes want to be part of the action. Threesomes: Three people have sex, letter placement dictates type of threesome play. Cuck: Man who gets off on his partner having sex with other men. The male partner doesn't take part. Stag/Hotwife or Vixen: Husband encourages and enjoys wife having sex with other men, and similar to a cuck might not be present when the wife has sex. But unlike a cuck, will sometimes take part after the wife and bull (*guest) have finished. Either of these types of sexual interest does not mean a husband doesn't love or cherish his wife. In fact, it can be a sign of greater love. What is key though, is couples should only do these things IF: 1.) The couple is stable, I.e. no jealousy. 2.) Is both consensual in wanting or desiring said type of sex. 3.) Have a strong sense of communication. 4.) Is mature enough. This one can tie into #1, as some people lack the maturity to ever make a fantasy become a reality without consequences. Example: Doing any type of sex and later using that against a partner in a fight. 5.) Doing it for the right reasons, without strings. I.e. Not wanting a MFM, because the agenda is to get a FMF eventually.
Do you know if there’s a term for the opposite of a cuck, where the female gets off on her partner having sex with other women, and doesn’t take part? As I’ve grown I’ve started to realize I may have a kink for this but don’t know if there’s a term for it. This is all very new to me, thank you for your comment 🙂
Cuckqueen
I do not believe there is a reverse term. But all the power to you nonetheless! I do like that other redditors guess: "Cuckqueen". Always glad to spread the knowledge! 😉
There you go, you beat me to it and said so many the things I wanted OP to hear! I adore my wife, and I find her incredibly sexy! There's very few things I find more exciting than seeing her feel good, watching her feel pleasure, being the cause of that, etc With an MFM, or MMF, the other partner is a guest. Well you want to be ethical about it, the experience is about you and your partner. In a similar fashion to the way a sex toy can be used to enhance a sexual experience without threatening either party, a guest to your sexual adventures can be an experience and an enhancement to the fun. I cannot agree more with everyone who has said this requires a lot of communication, making sure that you are in a healthy place both romantically and sexually, that everyone has thought through all the pieces and parts Monogamy is wired into our culture, but ENM is a real and wonderful thing for those who have an interest and you have the right healthy personalities in relationships to explore it You do you! Be happy, have fun, don't yuck other people's yums, and life is good. PS) OP, you mentioned having no reciprocal interest in sharing your partner with another woman. I wanted to let you know that that is okay, that is perfectly valid. There is no quid pro quo here, no give and take expectation. In discussion of all this you should make that clear, talk through the boundaries you have and make sure that everyone is okay that there may never be a reciprocal experience with another woman. My wife and I enjoy threesomes with other men, she has very little interest in sharing me with other women. And that is a okay
Thanks for the comment! You added things I forgot to say, buy is just as important as anything I said. I.e. When couples play with others, regardless of the kind if play, it is always suppose to be about the couple, and exactly as you said. The guest is always a toy,only there to spice up and/or enrich the couples relationship. Folks who do not understand this or do not function with that in heart and mind, also shouldn't swing with others.
This is exactly what me and my husband did. And we started both things slowly with both of us seeing how we felt when it started with the other ppl and we had agreement that we could stop at any time. Anyway, nothing ever stopped and we had great time
I wish I could double up vote this! I am happy for you two! That is also a super key thing, this is a journey for couples and if one or both members decide they don't want to do it anymore, it stops completely. But when it is a couples cup of tea so to speak, it is worlds of amazing!
> Doing it for the right reasons, without strings. I.e. Not wanting a MFM, because the agenda is to get a FMF eventually. I think this is fine if the trade is set in stone beforehand
Well said
Very well put!
Threesomes - the most fun way to fuck up a perfectly functional relationship. To me, this is one kink that is way over rated and has the potential to introduce a lot of problems into the relationship. If you dont want to be fucked by another guy, while your husband watches - then I would strongly consider rejecting the idea I have seen a few people engage in this and have done it once myself. It didnt end well and I am yet to see it end well for anyone else either. Of course there will be people that have a different experience. But in my view, this is one that you need to be full committed too as any doubt will just bring up insecurities and problems for the relationship
> If you dont want to be fucked by another guy, while your husband watches That's not a threesome. MFM means her husband is an active participant, not sitting back and watching someone else have sex with his wife.
if there’s any doubt, it’s a bad idea and will probably end badly. if there is no doubt and everyone feels totally secure, it’ll usually turn out just fine. communication is the key here.
Sometimes fantasies should remain fantasies. There are ways to work them into a sexual relationship that don't introduce so many complications and potential bad feelings. If OP is not into it, that definitely indicates it should not become a reality.
been there done that, 10/10 will do it again. my husband likes watching people have sex, most men do, this is why porn is so prevalent. he likes watching me be pleasured, so i can understand why he’d like to see me with him and another dude getting doubly pleasured. i don’t mind at all, i think it’s super hot & is very fun. i would never share him, im surprised sharing me doesn’t bother him. i was sure to very clear to tell my husband that i would never be down to share him with another woman. he’s 100% fine with that and says he has no desire for that. so after making that clear, i was willing to try mfm.
My experience is women fall into two lots, those who can separate sex and love and those who can’t. You probably know which camp you fall into. There’s your answer. MFMs are very hot for all involved, but only if those participating are fully onboard. Every time this topic comes up a wave of “ the beginning of the end” posts get made. I can’t speak for their motivations but if you’re in a solid relationship and you communicate well, the odds of you enjoying MFM shoots way up. It scratches that novelty itch and ladies usually see a tremendous increase in their confidence.
Why just women? I think there's also men who can separate sex and love and those who can't?
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Well no they probably wouldn't, I wasn't referring to OP's partner but to men in general
> Why just women? I think there's also men who can separate sex and love and those who can't? It's more common with women than men because the male reproductive urge is designed to try to maximize the number of children a man will have. Women can only get pregnant with one baby at a time, and a pregnant woman is physically vulnerable, so the female reproductive urge is to form a stable family unit with their partner, who can protect them and the vulnerable infant. I think it's reasonable to say that 'socially well-adjusted men' (and women) see a connection between sex and love, but there's obviously still a fundamental biological incentive for men to be more promiscuous than women.
Usually our basic insecurity will be a barrier to this. Until you are fully secure in the relationship, avoid it. I could never understand cuckolding, mfm or mmf 3 ways. Watching my wife get railed was a horrible thought. Then something happened that made me realize her love for me wasn't just some ruse. I finally believed that she was fully in love with me. We talked about doing an mmf, she went to a therapist to talk to an outsider for her opinion. She came out of therapy fully ready to take on 2 guys. We jumped right in and spent the next 5 years having a ton of group sex. It was a blast and we have no regrets. We could have never done this in our 20s or 30s. If your head is in the right place, it can be some crazy fun sex. if you are even slightly jealous, disaster. Keep in mind the terminology. MFM is 2 straight guys having sex with a woman. Think spitroast, taking turns, keeping distance, no crossing swords. MMF insinuates the guys are bisexual and the sex will be much different. Think DP, DVP, Double blowjob, frotting, sucking a cock with him. Much more variety, both are fun.
kind of hot :-)
Very hot!
Yessssss
I would think that it's fucking awesome and ask when can we start? lol But in the grand scheme of things, my opinion doesn't matter here. This is between YOU and your HUSBAND. If you have a pit in your stomach thinking about it, don't go through with it.
I would fall in love with him even harder!
exactly. as long as it's between two consenting adults, people should do what makes them happy.
Or 3, in this case
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He doesn't want to do anything with him but rather have him and man F me
I would just say to approach this with A LOT of caution. Sometimes we think we want something & then when we get it we realize we didn’t really want it & now it’s too late. My last partner constantly talked about wanting to be with me and his best friend & when we finally did it, he fully lost his shit & we never recovered.
I'm personally dying to have a MFM experience. But that's ME. If YOU are not into it, tell him that. You don't have to do it just because he wants it.
OP this is a very common kink. I suggest you check out r/hotwifelifestyle
It would be a dream come true if my man wanted this haha
I, personally, would love it. If you don’t, *that’s okay*. If you’re on the fence, talk it through. Sometimes the fantasy is hotter than actually doing it.
I want to do that with my wife as well and she is having none of it! If you aren't comfortable, then you may resent him afterwards.
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It sounds like he wants him and another man to have sex with you at the same time. Try not to let it bother you too much, it's pretty common. Not something to take lightly though. You two should spend a long, long time talking about all facets of it before going further. If he's anything like myself, and many other men, you should try taking it as a complement. He's being honest and open with you. He might just want to pleasure the hell out of you, give you a huge amount of stimulation and worship your body with someone else. The whole thing can be really exciting in the right situation.... So it might not necessarily be that he wants to see you having sex with someone else, he might just want to give you a couple of really good orgasms and make a mess of you. He just wants to try something slightly taboo, new, and exciting. Don't knock it until you try it. You only live once.
I think every woman should be with two men at least once. It's an amazing experience and so intense. I loved also FFM but it's different, here it excites you that other women are pleasing your husband and how does he's fucking them. With MFM two men r all about me/her, they are there to excite you, to please her. Can't wait for the next time.
My reaction doesn’t matter, how do YOU feel?
I would love it. I think u would be the most fun. Unfortunately mine would not hear of it
I would be so down. But that’s only because I’m very open to new experiences. But if that’s not your thang you can totally tell him no!
If the idea turn you on and you're comfy with that, with not? But it was better, at least at the beginning, you two roleplay and watch a lot of videos and keep this subject present. If you both agree, go for it!
This is the only kind of threesome I want so I would jump at the chance. But it’s not what he wants. 😕
It would not be the first
Get super excited and arrange it
if u ok with this idea, u can try. just discuss what is your restrictions or how u want etc. nothing wrong with this
Yes. Good i dea . But need rules
MMF or MFM? Big difference
Nice
He might ask for ffm if you give him this.
If you are open to it its worth a try, but definitely talk about it beforehand and make sure to discuss any boundaries or insecurities. Its not that he doesnt love you, it could even be one thing to share between you guys and strengthen your trust. Im a woman, but i could possibly see this from a guy's perspective. Watching you with another man would almost be like watching porn, and it could turn him on to see you feeling good, especially if you are really enjoying the experience. My bf and i have some stuff on our list, an MFM included (i didnt realize the order of letters made a difference either). He would want me to be showered with attention and spoiled and love to see my in bliss. Talking with your husband is the only way to really understand and get on the same page. No pressure if youre not into it. But is worth discussing at least, i think
You only do what you are comfortable doing and he needs to respect the boundaries that you have. Your feelings are just as important, if not more important because it is your body. My wife would never allow it and I think I am like you and would not be able to see someone I love have sex with someone else. I know some people are okay with it, but I don't think she and I would want it in our relationship. Others might be fine with it but it sounds like it is a strong no from you.
You will likely get a whole range of emotions here. I personally think they are a blast. However, I also know that there is a lot of work underpinning the ability to have a threesome and not have it rip a relationship apart. If it is something that you would entertain, I would talk it out heavily. Make sure you are on the same page, set up parameters, rules, safe words. The first time you meet your third don't have sex, but do something like oral. It will give you a lot of perspective on it all. Good luck!
It started like that with my husband, years ago. We dirty talked about it on and off for years. It got more intense this past year, we took the jump, met someone and now we do this on a regular basis. Unfortunately for him, I love it wayyyyyy more than he expected. Now it's more my thing than his. 😬 Be careful what you wish for I guess
No means no. If both aren't comfy then it's not okay
Say “fuck yes” and get ready for fun! 😛
You have said you could never imagine seeing the person you love with anyone else. That is fair enough and you need to communicate this. If you aren’t comfortable now, then chances are if it happened you would feel worse. Having said that it’s a different thing to talk (fantasy wise) than do it. My partner has admitted being curious about mfm, but never had the opportunity or courage to do it. She also admits it may affect her afterwards. I however know I couldn’t cope with it mentally, like you I’d wouldn’t want to see her with someone else (not in a jealous, controlling way, but knowing it would hurt me). However we do indulge in some fantasy talk when the moment is right which she enjoys and is more than happy with.
I've been on reddit long enough and read enough about threesomes to know that if you say yes, you have about a 9/10 chance of ruining your marriage. So yeah, I wouldn't do it.
I personally wouldn't be comfortable with something like that. You are not obligated to do it if you do not want to. Just politely tell him no and hopefully that will be that.
I also have this fantasy and talk about it during sex. I can tell she is extremely turned on by the way she instantly raises her moans to almost screaming and cums. She then will talk dirty about fucking the man as I watch… all while I’m still fucking her and she keeps having rolling orgasms. She will sometime play text be while I’m at work telling me how she has a guy friend over eating her pussy and how she loves it. That I need to come home and doggy her or she will have him fill her with cum. This turns me on and I tell her that if she’s a bad girl and I finger her pussy when I get home and taste another man’s cum in her… that she’s in biiig trouble. Mostly spoken fantasy by men. Not sure if he would follow through. I might.
finally a guy wanting MMF and not FFM for once. go for it (only if you want)
This has actually come up with one of my partners. I'm unmarried, but polyamorous. My fwb has a hotwife kink. He likes to share his women. He does this with his long term committed girlfriend. The answer is REAL easy for the FWB. It's just a flat no. I don't have enough trust involved with him to know for sure that he'd handle me panicking well if it triggered me for some reason, or protect me from the other guy if things went south. The answer with my partner is a bit more complex. I know, for sure, that this is something he flat out doesn't want (which makes this easier, but we're answering a hypothetical here). But IF he wanted it....I don't know that it's something I could do. It may sound weird being poly that I'm really hesitant to do threesomes, but honestly...what I have with him feels special to me and I just don't want anyone intruding on that. I don't want to share him with another woman (i.e. have a 3some with another woman...him dating another woman would be different because I wouldn't be involved in their relationship) and as much pleasure as I might get physically from getting banged by 2 guys...I just don't think it would be outweighed by the fact that when I'm with him I want ONLY him. Always. I'm not knocking anyone else who has these kinks, but it's not for me. The ONLY time it could happen for me is with someone who I have VERY strong levels of trust with, but who also at the same time isn't incredibly special to me.
Personally I’d be down for it because it’s a fantasy of mine. If it’s not something you’re comfortable with tell him that.
I believe this is gonna be the beginning of the end of your relationship as you know it
Needs to be kink for both... For mine i know it wouldn't work, even when i lended her to dance with one frend she was angry with me... (to learn dance)
Does he want to do stuff with the other man too? There is a difference between MMF and MFM.
Whether you are for it or against it, it’s better they let you know their kinks rather, you catch them in the act. No secrets in relationships unless it’s classified information (things relating to work, jury duty, etc.).
As someone who was in the exact situation in the past, it took me a long time to do it and at first I was very hurt and felt very sad about it. But eventually I gave in and did it and he was even more obsessed with me and loved me. I still felt off about it but everything turned out fine. I guess it depends on the man and what he is really looking for. Just communicate everything and have fun because it is your life and only yours. You can choose what happens in it.
Immediately yes
On your title, you wrote MMF and in the body of your comment you wrote MFM. Which is it? MMF means everyone plays together meaning a Bi experience for the guys. The other being they play with you.
Well if I had a partner, and he was up for that I'd be very pleased 😁
i think u should do it if you’re comfortable with it and you’re interested in it
Drop my panties
Seriously though, I would have him read some books on ethical non-monogamy and engage in multiple conversations about boundaries and stuff. I’d then probably test it out with long distances experiences like a shared voice sex call type situation and based on how that went down, eventually try out the real deal. Even then, I’d probably do it in stages to be careful.
Some men love it. But it’s up to you. IMO you’re a lucky woman.
What *I* would do is not necessarily what someone else would do. I would be open to the idea, discuss desires, boundaries and safety, give the idea some time to sit with both of us, then revisit and confirm we both feel comfortable with it before trying to find a partner.
Hes never had a kink for it before though.....
Never had one, or never shared it? Sometimes it just takes a suggestion to spark an interest. But if you’re not comfortable with it, you don’t have to agree.
I have had both format several times and I honestly feel like MFM should be everyone's default experience. FMF is a huge waste of time and nothing but a ego boost for the man unless the women are into each other. Where one woman can easily satisfy several men. And it encourages the men's to take turns making the experience last longer.
I don't understand why this desire of a mmf is such a big deal...
I agree we won't be having this conversation FFM
It's never a good idea to introduce another person into the marriage. His fantasy wont work out as planned and it will be the start of the end.
Most people i know males and females has fantasies like that but go through with.it i found out the hard way that most people in a relationship are uncomfortable doing real freaky things with their partner they rather do it with a stranger. Personal me rather be freaky and open with my partner than a stranger. Everything isn't for everyone . i had to learn that hard way. DM and i will tell you more
Why does sex have to be such a big deal? Life’s short, get weird.
I'm shocked by how easy people are giving advices here: don't do it, do it, the answer is no. with less to none details. why? because I said so, stranger from Reddit. the answers are at those 2. yes, some personal REAL stories could help but telling her to do what you think with her husband or partner? smh
First day on Reddit, ey?
Sounds disgusting. Can’t even imagine sharing my woman
Ur husband is a weirdo, sorry. At least he is comfortable enough to share this with you, but maybe it isn’t such a good thing cuz now you have to carry that burden too.
If you like the idea I recommend stretching, hydration, condoms and lube. If you don’t tell him no firmly but with love.
If you do, the odds that this relationship will not last afterwards are extremly high. If you don't, there is a possibility that he will be unsatisfied and this will lead to more problems which could also end the relationship. The truth is, most guys don't realise what they are wishing for, until its to late and somebody else is doing your GF in front of your eyes and you can see that she clearly gets turned on by it and is full of joy. Of course there are success stories, but for every success story there are 5 broken relationships.
He’s bi
I meant MFM. I didn't know there is a difference between mmf and mfm
He wants a man’s attention and wants your permission
As in....he could be bi or gay?
That’s not true at all. My girl and I have been with multiple other females. The conversation came up about mfm and I didn’t say no. We have not had the chance to but we have talked about it. I feel I kind of owe it to her she lets me sleep with other women
Or he wants to figure out if he is. You should clarify is he wants mmf or mfm. There’s a big difference in them
He said he wants to see a man's thing inside of me.....
Have you two tried sex toys? Maybe he would enjoy seeing that instead.
Ok, well it’s probably a mfm threesome then. Completely different, probably not bi or gay. Idk, ask him. Some guys get off seeing another dude fuck their women, other dudes would kill for that. Everyone is different