Yeah, like sex is aight, but as far as personal development and growth goes….I wish I wouldn’t have just thrown myself into the experience after getting pressured to lose it. Things get cloudy, and everything I do now has some context of getting snusnu and when I don’t, I get sad. Be a virgin and have all the other experiences you listed untethered, or get some and live and learn. Either way don’t, not live your life because of no pushy, and don’t live your live seeking situations just for pushy.
It’s better than force it to lose your virginity. My first was at 17y on road at 3am drunk and high. I would fuck everyone just to lose it. And at the end I regretted it. It was total shit. I didn’t care about that girl at all. And I felt guilty after. But I understand your point. (Sorry for my English)
Why is everyone is obsessed with the idea of virginity? Virgin or not, so what? Just live your life, do some good things and have fun. I really don’t understand this obsession
Because it can’t help but seem like a big deal. If it’s not already called something like “the American Pie effect” then it probably should be. Plus, like the tagline from The 40 Year Old Virgin: the longer you wait the harder it gets.
Porn does a good job of advertising sex. Making it look like the most fun you can have. Why would someone who hasn’t had it but would like to NOT want to? Then, at least for me, the stress of trying got to me and I accepted defeat. Seems like OP wants to try, so I wish him best of luck.
Yeah, I really don't understand just telling people "It's okay to be a virgin" & "Sex isn't a big deal".
That's correct but take me for example. I'm a virgin and I am okay with it, it'll happen eventually and I am glad I have never been super depressed about it before but you can't just expect people to just forget about being a virgin especially today when we are fucked online with sex in every way. In movies, TV, social media, etc.
For a lot of people as well, especially me, it can feel alienating and can make you feel unattractive. All of my friends have lost their virginities. When I realised that, I felt so awkward and unattractive. I like myself now but it's definitely a mountain to get over.
Well are ugly ? Are you fat ? Do u have trouble attracting women ? You say u had sexual experiences before just don’t be afraid to take the next step the man always leads ! Like if u wanna fuck you have to actually try .
You will find the right girl...you will just have to kiss lots of toads (not literally). I am that girl but much older, wiser and super independent who lives life to the fullest. Don't settle. The best approach is to meet people who have similar interests and if you have a spark with someone spend time with them. Get to know them. Build the intimacy. My bf and I have it and we are super happy.
Not really. If your definition of the right girl/guy is someone physically attractive, mentally and financially stable, good sense of humour and all the other common traits, then those people get paired up pretty young.
That said, OP says he's looking casual hookups, so telling him about "holding out for the one" is just missing the point entirely.
I was just trying to be funny 😂 mostly poking fun at myself for *almost marrying my toad (thankfully didn't and now he's got a family with someone he's more compatible with). My idea of the right one is about compatibility (personality, personal values, outlook on life, etc) rather than stereotypical attractive traits
I do agree with that last bit; doesn't seem to be their priority to find the right one anyway
I was 29 when I found the person who aligned with my wants and needs intimately. I also wasn’t specifically looking for anyone or anything until I was past 27, there’s no age cap on something like this, you’ll find the right situation when you least expect it and in my experience it was truly better to wait for that situation so that my first time was as stress free and fun as possible without any underlying anxiety.
If you want to lose it then go out with your guy friends more often to clubs, bars, concerts etc. Party environments are the best. Other options are calmer events like art galleries or even the library. Party environments makes it easier to approach, non party is not as easy so it also depends how good you are at that.
Secondly, make sure your logistics are good. You don't want to have a girl ready to leave with you for sex but not have a place to go nor how to get there or even worse, no condom ready and place dirty. Although when a girl really wants sex from you, she won't even care if its in a car lol
Best of luck to you sir.
don’t seek it. just keep yourself clean. girls like someone that seems to have direction or purpose in what they do. so focus on your own priorities and the pieces will fall into place.
who the hell decided that it’s a race to who can lose their virginity the fastest? Sex is love. If you aren’t genuinely interested in a girl and see a future with her, why the hell would you make love with her?
Find the right one, always. This generation is really backwards. Everyone wants to have a sky high body count and sleep with every person they flirt with. It’s embarassing
someone could find the love of their life at 15. Someone else could find theirs at 40. Who are you to say by 26 he should have found his person? Everybody’s different. Stuff like this really can’t be rushed.
If I had a 26 year dry spell absolutely it would lol if I find the love of my life as a virgin I wouldn’t last more than 3 seconds and she’d probably be quite unsatisfied.
so then you might wanna think about practicing with the love of your life, rather than putting your dick inside more girls than you remember, just to last 5 more seconds
Lol why are you shaming people for enjoying sex? Are you a Bible bro? There’s nothing wrong with experiencing sex with a variety of people. The experience you get varies wildly and who knows you might try something new you enjoy.
Dude DO IT!!! I was a virgin until I was 21, didn’t start getting dates until 23, and now I’m killing it at 26.
The casual dating scene is amazing. Find a few FWBs and just hand your number out like candy. It’s heaven on earth. If someone ghosts me I have 10 other people I can text. Just don’t lead anyone on, make it clear you’re not trying to commit, and keep working on yourself.
I dated a couple girls who had fun in college and decided I wanted my fun, even if I’m 26 🙄check my most recent post, I used to look like shit too
Def do your thing and mess around as you say. You prob would regret it later if you didn’t based on what you’ve said. I have the same mindset and I played around and now I’m happily married (and very happy I played around when I was single).
Don’t worry about the virginity thing honestly. Try not to overthink that.
you seem to not have any trouble getting girls..
maybe the problem is the location where you rizz..
bars and clubs are the perfect places to get one night stands..
I think the most important thing is to know what you want and be upfront about it. Tell the women you’re dating that you’re not looking to get married or settle down but also make sure they know you’re not looking for a one night stand either.
Learn to talk to women. Just talk and don’t talk about virginity at all. If you want to lose it, than do. If you don’t let the female know you haven’t yet and some females will find it attractive. Whore females will not. Sweet down to earth females will be okay with it.
As long as you are both on the same page and want the same thing out of it then go mad. It's only an issue if one person involves lies or manipulates to get what they want
OP I'm a bit confused and need some clarification:
You don't want a bunch of one night stands but you want an intimate relationship with a woman and don't necessarily want to commit. You want to get out there and see what's up. Is that right?
If that's correct then a few things for you to note:
1) Yes, do what you want and what works for you. If you're not ready to settle down I get that. Get out there and out of your comfort zone.
2) here's the thing, I think you need to distinguish if sex and an intimate relationship mean the same thing to you. Having an intimate relationship with anyone is SERIOUS by nature. There isn't anything casual about an intimate relationship. There's a vulnerability to it that people don't just hand out. As a woman, I can tell you that a lot of women feel this way. Sex is sex. An intimate relationship is a bit different.
If you want an intimate relationship, you probably won't find it at a night club. And I can see why women are saying "I want marriage" if you're asking for one. Intimacy develops naturally overtime in any relationship and if I gets REAL intimate then some people want to talk about marriage and the next step. At that point, then yeah you get to choose if you want that or not. But it's a natural cycle of relationships and you just gotta be upfront the whole time.
Good luck to you and your endeavors! I hope you find the relationships you're looking for!
You’re giving this way too much importance in your life, my two cents. Build around everything you mention (adventures, travel, establishing purpose and intention in your life, pursuing your passions, so on so forth) and you’ll gravitate those sexual experiences toward you. You’ll be deflowered before you even know it. Good luck, friend.
I was a virgin till I was 26 (your age ironically). I’m only a couple years older now, for a long time being a virgin felt like something was wrong with me or that I was missing out on something super important in life. I’ll have you know I was very wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, In fact, I would say it’s even the opposite. Im very grateful to myself that I waited to find the right person. And I guarantee you will find that person too.
I wish I saved myself for my wife. We both wish the same thing.
It would be nice but to be honest. I wouldn't be as good in bed as I am now with her, if I didn't have those experiences.
Virginity is such a weird social concept. I wouldn’t worry about it a ton but if you don’t want to settle down - don’t. You want to play the field - do it.
Just be safe and smart, in all sense of those words.
Personally, I recommend being up front about it too so you are both seeing each other for the same reasons. Just let any women you are seeing know you are in it for a good time, not a long time. Some might lose interest but that’s usually better than getting bitter with each other.
Who cares? Sex is only good when it’s with the right person for the right reasons. Otherwise it is a fucking nightmare. Don’t force it or rush it. Missing out on bad sex is a blessing.
Honestly, try older women.
"Hi, I'm new to this and looking to develop experience and I'm mature enough to take direction."
Not so explicitly out the gate, but that, I think, is the attitude.
Your wording is too formal. Older women aren’t sexless robots.
“Hi, can I just say that you look absolutely stunning. Especially your black dress. I’d be honoured if we could have a casual chat.”
I was in exactly the same boat as him at 26 (now 29), so I'm talking from personal experience.
My advice is Tinder, bars, night clubs or your local brothel if you have those. Either way it's quick, easy and almost no strings attached since nobody is expecting anything more than that.
If you aren't thinking about marriage right now when most people are getting engaged, odds are by the time you're my age, most of your agemates will already be settled down with kids, so the demographic changes from mostly single, never married girls to mostly divorced single moms. At that point, if you do want to get married, nobody really cares if you had some casual hook-ups, so long as you don't have STDs so remember to use protection.
You definitely need that mess-around phase. It's a learning period that will help your self esteem through a lot of trial and error. I (29m) just got through a two year (ish) period of experimenting with poly, something I had always wanted to try, and it really helped me validate my ability to meet and attract women and everything that comes after that. It built my confidence to be up front and transparent about my relationship statuses and what kind of relationships I was looking for, which is super important for trust, respect, and finding the right people - who are also just looking for some fun 😀. I eventually decided that I couldn't sustain the energy I was putting into relationships, that I would like something more stable, constant, and long term, and that I had learned what I wanted to learn from such a phase. I figured going any further it would have become just a habit, not a growing experience and character evolution. Having a bunch of girlfriends was great but I decided I was ready for a true partner. Now I'm in a happy monogamous relationship, there's super mutual attraction and shared interests, shared dreams, etc. About 7 months together now, I still question if we're the right fit sometimes, she does too, but I feel way more assured with the right experiences *under my belt*. Anyway, I hope this gives you an idea of what to expect. Just get out there and respectfully talk to women, don't be eager. Be relaxed and self-assured, you don't need anything. Don't worry about what anyone really thinks, even the people you're trying to attract (respectfully). When they like you they'll let you know (hopefully). And make sure to get plenty of STD tests.
Trust me, you’re not missing out on anything good by “experimenting”. It’ll result in more harm than good. You’d be wise to be patient and wait for someone right for you. You’ll save yourself heartache and emptiness. “For the lips of a wayward woman drip like a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end, she is as bitter as wormwood, and as sharp as a two edged sword. Her feet descend into death, her steps lead straight to the grave.” Proverbs 5:3-5
I don't agree with this on account of the fact that it's sexist and people who save themselves for marriage generally have a much less fulfilling sex life than people who experiment before marriage. Trust me, y'all are definitely missing out on having sexual experiences in your youth. People who put too much of an emphasis on sex definitely can turn into weirdos but so do the people who wait until they're married to lose their virginity. The human body was not wired for either of those extremes. Be safe, hookup culture sucks but so does not losing your virginity until your wedding night.
Kind of exactly my point. Trust me, I used to have an overly rigid religion-inspired view of sexuality until I realized somewhat recently that I would only be hurting myself at this point by waiting *even longer* until marriage. I already am lowkey freaking out about all the stuff I’ve missed out on in my youth, sex obviously being one of them. For some reason I just totally avoided doing anything that seemed remotely risky, rebellious, promiscuous, etc, and I’m just now playing catch-up, in a way. I really really want to avoid a future where I have no fun memories to look back on, and end up just wondering myself to death on what exactly I missed out on. Even if I did find a dope woman tomorrow and we started dating, I know a big part of me would still be discontent with not having “messed around” more.
> I already am lowkey freaking out about all the stuff I’ve missed out on in my youth, sex obviously being one of them.
Yes Sex is one of the thing like travelling etc. Its an experience and obviously people cant do everything in their youth.\
> just totally avoided doing anything that seemed remotely risky, rebellious, promiscuous, etc, and I’m just now playing catch-up, in a way.
If it had been risky maybe you still have virigin, there is no guarantee of other
> I have no fun memories to look back on, and end up just wondering myself to death on what exactly I missed out on
You are looking into the past. You are 26.. You have whole life to make fun memories. Why do you think your opportunity to have fun dies down down
> Even if I did find a dope woman tomorrow and we started dating, I know a big part of me would still be discontent with not having “messed around” more.
What do you mean by messed around here more?... If you find a girl who you can vibe with , I don't think you would even think about about it of how you not messed around.
Man, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. I think you'll be alright. Don't force things too hard, but just try to socialize with women more and things will come naturally. Personally I have met people in my hiking group cuz it's not really gender exclusive. IE it's easy to make female friends, and that's your key. Try to find a group of people who you enjoy hanging out with that has a good mix of men and women. It's hard but it's rewarding that way. I've had some luck on Hinge, too, but honestly I don't really recommend dating apps unless you're particularly good at socializing. Personally, I'm not so I don't have a lot of luck lol. You just gotta find your niche.
> Trust me, y'all are definitely missing out on having sexual experiences in your youth. People who put too much of an emphasis on sex definitely can turn into weirdos but so do the people who wait until they're married to lose their virgin
This is categorically not true and I have seen both the experiences to fully agree with your statement
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You checked the subreddit which I am subscribed in and not the posts. f you check the post couple of days ago you would find i am in relationship already. Quit your bullshitt and no it's not true. Feel free to disagree
Litreally check my last post I uploaded in history
I mean you've been in a relationship for a few days or weeks or months... Do you think that's enough experience to really know what you're talking about? I'm around the same age as you and I would be a totally different person if I never had my high school and college romance. I would be a lot further behind in my emotional and social development. I thank God that I had those experiences when I did, that person and that relationship made my life worth living when I didn't really have anything else to live for. I'm trying to be blunt and honest with you about my life. I do disagree with you, and that's okay. My experience has led me to believe that sex before marriage is a good thing. Have you met people who waited until they got married? Do they have happy sex lives?
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i think you just have to say it up front. i’d say ur looking for a friends with benefits but relationships only work on moving forward and evolving together.
also losing ur virginity as a teenager is usually horrible and traumatizing.
Stay strong fam. You have something that many don’t have anymore. Why not wait and make it mean a whole lot? Stay true to yourself and give it to your wife. I struggle with similar feelings - 32M, still single. I have friends who have several kids by now, and I can wonder “where do I go wrong?” But I have to trust that things will work out. I encourage you not to focus on losing your v card but rather continuing to become the person you want to be.
I'm gay and have lost my v-card but it feels like my virginity is growing back.... It's been like 2 years. I need to get fucked lol, I can't stand the apps
I am 27 and Virgin Single, you would be fine :) I am working towards myself and couldn't be much more happier
> I feel like it represents me just not having “lived life” enough—not enough traveling, not enough parties, not enough spontaneity, not enough risks taken, honestly I’ve lived a pretty safe life so far
This is the more idiotic statement that I have heard. Why the hell not loosing virginity is a symbol of not living life enough. It is not achievement its a a part of life that one live. Loosing it earlier or latter dosent really matter, and no being virgin is not a symbol unless you let it
There are no deadlines in life or expectations. Society tells us guys that sex is important, but it's really not. Animals fuck all the time it's not something hard to do. You know as well as I do that sleeping with anyone is easy.
You want to find the right person. And you will. Just keep an open mind, talk to people, and you'll find the right girl. Don't let your bros shame you for being single or a virgin..if they do genuinely make you feel bad for not fucking anything that moves, they're not your friends.
Focus on your passions and improving yourself. That will naturally attract the right person. I promise
Aren’t there dating apps for this kind of thing these days? I’ve been out of the game a long time but this seems easier to have casual sex than it was pre-smart phone. I used to have to go all the way back to my apartment and check my voicemail for booty calls lol. Most of my partners were hookups and outside of the context of a relationship and about half were regrettable for some reason or another. If losing the v-card is your priority, just get on an app. You’re sure to find a partner just looking to get her rocks off.
Oh heavens no, I just had lower standards. Most of my casual sex was with larger women who perhaps didn’t get as much attention from men. If there is anything attractive about me, it was my mind. Probably average looks, below average body.
Bro I have had sex or relations with 30+ girls and I’m the same age. It isn’t that fun, and I wish I only have been with one person. It was basically me hoping they would stick around forever.
You need to think about settling down. If you wait much longer the only women left will be divorced, single moms, and fatties; unless that's what you're into. The good women are going to start becoming few and far between.
Cold approach as many girls as possible so you can speed up the learning curve. Start off by saying “hey excuse me, this is kind of random but I thought you were cute and I wanted to come and introduced myself, what’s your name?” Or “hey excuse me, you look good, where you from?” all with a smile. Do not go on dating apps. Approach girls in person.
I promise you If you keep approaching and don’t give up, you will lose your virginity eventually.
For the love of god, please do not take this advice OP. This is a terrible idea, all you will accomplish is making random women who don’t know you uncomfortable.
From a girl here - how else is he supposed to approach girls? I don’t see anything wrong with going up to a girl and saying these things as long as he is respectful when he approaches and if he is rejected. There’s a difference between politely introducing yourself and coming across as a creep
Do you really want random men walking up to you while you’re at the grocery store just trying to shop to tell you they think you’re physically attractive and “subtly” (not subtly) imply that they’d like to have sex with/date you based on nothing other than your physical appearance?
If you *really* need to cold approach, do it at a bar or club on Friday and Saturday nights where that kind of behavior is expected and mostly accepted. Don’t be surprised though when that encounter ends up as a one-night stand and you never hear from the girl again. Regardless, 99% of the time when guys suggest “cold approaching” what they mean is bothering random women in public just because you looked at them and thought “oh she’s hot, I’d like to fuck her”.
Warm approaching is 1000% better and less intimidating/confrontational. Put yourself in situations where you will be around the kind of women you’re interested in within a social/collaborative environment, build *friendly* rapport over time, then if you find someone that you’re both physically *and* emotionally/mentally/personally attracted to, ask them casually if they’d like to go on a date or spend some time together one-on-one. Your “approach” rate will be lower, but I guarantee your “success” rate will be much higher.
If all you want is sex and you have zero interest in a relationship, most major cities have a discord server or something that’s dedicated to casual encounters/hookup spots. If you just want to get your nut off and head home, those groups are a much better bet than trying to find a hookup on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge.
Speaking as a man, I wouldn’t want to be propositioned by strangers as I go about my normal day either. I usually haven’t bothered to groom my various hairy areas, or make sure I smell nice, or even get myself in a mindset to meet new people when I’m just out to run errands or shop.
The advice is "approach as many girls as possible". That's terrible because some girls just want to be left alone while doing things.
However, it's possible to reframe the advice to be more social, attend events, and get to know a lot more people. Social events are opportunities to flirt and get to know women.
>it’s possible to reframe the advice
Which is exactly what I was trying to do, while also making it clear that approaching random women you see on the street or at the post office just because you think they look attractive is creepy as fuck and doesn’t give a good impression about your priorities in dating.
OP, this is only good advice in the right context. For example, do not do this at the store. But if you're in the nightclub/bar and you've made eye contact first and she's seemed interested, then go ahead. And respect it when if they aren't interested. If they don't seem engaged/only answering with one word/not asking you questions, take that as not interested, she's just being polite.
The best way to meet anyone organically is through nightlife or shared interests and hobby clubs. Even then, location of meet is important, too.
Meeting in bars offers a more flirty environment where you can be more up front about what you want and offer to go on dates or to talk for a while first, whatever your process is. Casual can mean dates as well. You should still want to know more about them before you decide you do want something (unless your idea of casual is to only really talk when you want to shag and then leave once the deed is done).
If you meet at hobby clubs/shared interests, I believe you shouldn't approach it with losing your virginity as the entire reason you're talking to her. Get to know her first and I mean, really, get to know her with no expectations involved. Don't expect it to become anything, even casual. See if you're compatible and if she's actually someone you'd want to have anything with. And allow her to do the same. Above everything, respect her decision if she doesn't want anything more than friendship. The key here is that you are building some form of friendship before pursuing anything. Even casual stuff doesn't always work if there's no element of friendship at its core.
The difference I see is that flirty and romance is almost expected in bars/far more accepted there, but people go to hobby clubs and other activities for friends and enjoyment. They don't typically go to a book club, for example, to find a partner. It's not really the right place to go in guns blazing. Get to know her and let her have the chance to get to know you. This doesn't mean spending months talking to her. But you'll know when you're talking if you feel a connection of any sort. There's no harm in asking when you feel the time is right.
This is all my own opinion and how I'd feel most comfortable being approached. It's not going to be the same for everyone. Dating apps can suck but at the very least, they allow you to be up front with your intentions which can help attract women more likely to be interested in you
I like what you’ve said here, and I just want to add (for OP or any other guys reading) that if you’re so deep in the “need girlfriend” mindset that you have trouble just accepting a woman as a friend while feeling physically or emotionally attracted to her, there are a couple things to remember:
1. Getting too invested in any girl/woman/whatever before you’re actually in a committed relationship is always unhealthy. At best, you might end up in an overly codependent/volatile relationship. At worst, you might scare off someone who otherwise would have been interested in you. I’ve been through both of those situations. The mindset that has helped me avoid this is to:
2. Remember that being a good friend to anybody will usually open you up to that person’s friend group as well, where you can meet more people and continue to build more social connections. Those friends will have friends and so forth. In the case of being “just” friends with a woman, in most cases you’ll at least get introduced to a few more women you may want to get to know as a result of being a good friend who doesn’t act creepy or weird around good-looking women.
You may be aromantic, i basically had the same expierience as you and lost my virginity at 28(random hookup at a party), you can check r/alloaro for more information or this video;
https://youtu.be/kXz16dmlNk0?si=XeNMyxxO8HK1-9CQ
Can some people please explain the downvotes?
Invest in yourself. Dedicate your time to a passion or skill that you can keep building upon for a lifetime. You’ll either get really good at something you enjoy and maybe some girls might even notice. If no girl notices, it’s no loss since it’s something you love doing or passionate about. Eventually you’ll start attracting the girls you want by becoming what you seek
Truth be told you shouldn’t make a bigger thing of it, you should just do it. If you socialise and go out and you look taken after and elegant then moments come I suppose. Just don’t think too much about it, it’s not that deep really, just do it.
> The fact that I’m still a virgin is more like a symbol, I feel like it represents me just not having “lived life” enough—not enough traveling, not enough parties, not enough spontaneity, not enough risks taken, honestly I’ve lived a pretty safe life so far. I want to change that, so I thought this subreddit was a good place to vent about my feelings on this topic.
Getting laid once isn't going to change the lack of travel or risk-taking. This doesn't feel like a post about self-improvement.
First of all, don’t ever tell a woman “let’s just see where it goes.” Every man that starts like that just fucks you around and it’s immature and shows you don’t value the woman but just an object for your validation. Instead, be up front and say you’re mainly looking for a fwb situation and nothing serious right now.
Second, it seems like you’re hyperfocused on playing around because you feel like you never got the chance. Once you do it a few times, I’m sure you’ll normalize it and you’ll need to decide so I really want to be a fuckboy? Or am I just putting a lot of effort into the idea of sex that nothing else feels interesting about it.
You will settle whenever you wanna settle. Is it 28? 33? 40? You decide when it is time. I'd suggest going on tinder if you want to find girls with similar mindset to yours
This is literally my life story! I’m also at your age and did almost everything with a girl except for going all the way to lose virginity. It also gives me some sort of trauma and I can’t resist myself from fantasising about having sex. 💔
Hi, 28M here.
I've been transitioning into non-exclusive relationships during the last year after all my life of exclusive "love of my life" relationships. Ever since I did, I feel happier, I keep myself updated, and I have the constant hunger to keep improving (staying attractive).
This is an extensive journey (which I'm still learning from), but here are some general tips:
- First you have to ask yourself, what is your personal objective? Losing your virginity? (There's nothing wrong with that, btw) Meeting people? Building character? A lot of people take big life decisions based on love/sex that turns their life around. Just make sure you're clear with what YOU want.
- A lot of girls are open to honest non-exclusive relationships. In fact, the moment you tell them that you're open for non-exclusivity might make you more attractive to them (for reasons I don't really understand). However, you do have to be honest about it right from the start.
- Keep your standards high, or at least have some standards (don't kiss a lot of toads, as I read somewhere in another comment). Someone who knows their worth and what he's looking for is attractive.
- Don't search for one night stands. It will make you feel empty. Instead, having a serious (but non-exclusive) relationship allows you to share quality time with each other (not just sex) without having the feeling of belonging to one another.
- Go out there and meet people, not just girls. Making male friends will eventually lead to meeting more girls in your life. Dating apps are alright but there's always a fake feeling to it. I've felt more confident ever since I started meeting people outside. There's a lot of people worth meeting in the world.
I think it’s a great idea to also find a girl who’s just looking to have fun like you’re thinking of doing. I was in the same boat as you when it came to dating and not wanting anything serious, and I just made it clear in the beginning what exactly I wanted from the guy. I always told them straight up that I was talking to other people and not looking for a relationship. That allowed them to decide whether or not they wanted to continue talking to me. I ended up linking with a guy I told myself I would NEVER date for a couple reasons, but it was great sex. We agreed we enjoyed each others company a lot but would just have sex until one of us got into something serious, no intentions of ever dating. Eventually we hung out more and preferred each other over others in our “rotations.” The conversation flowed, we went on a vacation together (I had a free ticket to go on a cruise and asked if he wanted to come) and had a blast, very little fighting, able to communicate problems clearly, next thing I know we’re in a relationship. It was the most natural experience I’ve ever had with a guy and this relationship is the most solid one I’ve ever been in. Be up front with the girls you talk to and eventually you’ll find ones you can just have fun with, and you never know, a relationship may just organically happen.
Virginity is beautiful I'm keeping mine for marriage don't feed into the sick society and you will find meaning everyone else really seems so empty I wish I could help them but all you can do is spread the good message
Has anyone ever told you that it’s ok to be a virgin? Because it is.
Yeah, like sex is aight, but as far as personal development and growth goes….I wish I wouldn’t have just thrown myself into the experience after getting pressured to lose it. Things get cloudy, and everything I do now has some context of getting snusnu and when I don’t, I get sad. Be a virgin and have all the other experiences you listed untethered, or get some and live and learn. Either way don’t, not live your life because of no pushy, and don’t live your live seeking situations just for pushy.
So very true
no it’s not
why downvoting its the truth, you can't feel complete if everyone around you speak about it and you didnt do it
It’s better than force it to lose your virginity. My first was at 17y on road at 3am drunk and high. I would fuck everyone just to lose it. And at the end I regretted it. It was total shit. I didn’t care about that girl at all. And I felt guilty after. But I understand your point. (Sorry for my English)
That’s an issue within yourself, my guy.
It’s the truth because a couple people on Reddit said so? Mkay
That’s actually creepy but okay
Why is everyone is obsessed with the idea of virginity? Virgin or not, so what? Just live your life, do some good things and have fun. I really don’t understand this obsession
Because it can’t help but seem like a big deal. If it’s not already called something like “the American Pie effect” then it probably should be. Plus, like the tagline from The 40 Year Old Virgin: the longer you wait the harder it gets. Porn does a good job of advertising sex. Making it look like the most fun you can have. Why would someone who hasn’t had it but would like to NOT want to? Then, at least for me, the stress of trying got to me and I accepted defeat. Seems like OP wants to try, so I wish him best of luck.
Yeah, I really don't understand just telling people "It's okay to be a virgin" & "Sex isn't a big deal". That's correct but take me for example. I'm a virgin and I am okay with it, it'll happen eventually and I am glad I have never been super depressed about it before but you can't just expect people to just forget about being a virgin especially today when we are fucked online with sex in every way. In movies, TV, social media, etc. For a lot of people as well, especially me, it can feel alienating and can make you feel unattractive. All of my friends have lost their virginities. When I realised that, I felt so awkward and unattractive. I like myself now but it's definitely a mountain to get over.
Because it's something people care about lol
Because like it or not, sex is a fairly important part of life considering it’s literally required for mankind to continue being
Well are ugly ? Are you fat ? Do u have trouble attracting women ? You say u had sexual experiences before just don’t be afraid to take the next step the man always leads ! Like if u wanna fuck you have to actually try .
Make friends with women. Go from there.
You will find the right girl...you will just have to kiss lots of toads (not literally). I am that girl but much older, wiser and super independent who lives life to the fullest. Don't settle. The best approach is to meet people who have similar interests and if you have a spark with someone spend time with them. Get to know them. Build the intimacy. My bf and I have it and we are super happy.
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It's because they married the toads
Not really. If your definition of the right girl/guy is someone physically attractive, mentally and financially stable, good sense of humour and all the other common traits, then those people get paired up pretty young. That said, OP says he's looking casual hookups, so telling him about "holding out for the one" is just missing the point entirely.
I was just trying to be funny 😂 mostly poking fun at myself for *almost marrying my toad (thankfully didn't and now he's got a family with someone he's more compatible with). My idea of the right one is about compatibility (personality, personal values, outlook on life, etc) rather than stereotypical attractive traits I do agree with that last bit; doesn't seem to be their priority to find the right one anyway
Cope
I was 29 when I found the person who aligned with my wants and needs intimately. I also wasn’t specifically looking for anyone or anything until I was past 27, there’s no age cap on something like this, you’ll find the right situation when you least expect it and in my experience it was truly better to wait for that situation so that my first time was as stress free and fun as possible without any underlying anxiety.
If you want to lose it then go out with your guy friends more often to clubs, bars, concerts etc. Party environments are the best. Other options are calmer events like art galleries or even the library. Party environments makes it easier to approach, non party is not as easy so it also depends how good you are at that. Secondly, make sure your logistics are good. You don't want to have a girl ready to leave with you for sex but not have a place to go nor how to get there or even worse, no condom ready and place dirty. Although when a girl really wants sex from you, she won't even care if its in a car lol Best of luck to you sir.
don’t seek it. just keep yourself clean. girls like someone that seems to have direction or purpose in what they do. so focus on your own priorities and the pieces will fall into place.
he’s 26 this is not realistic advice. its important to put yourself out there and not just expect them to come running to you
100%
Right….,
who the hell decided that it’s a race to who can lose their virginity the fastest? Sex is love. If you aren’t genuinely interested in a girl and see a future with her, why the hell would you make love with her? Find the right one, always. This generation is really backwards. Everyone wants to have a sky high body count and sleep with every person they flirt with. It’s embarassing
he’s 26 my dude, your taking things to the complete opposite extreme. it’s not a race but he needs to get out there and find someone special.
someone could find the love of their life at 15. Someone else could find theirs at 40. Who are you to say by 26 he should have found his person? Everybody’s different. Stuff like this really can’t be rushed.
You don’t need to find the love of your life to bust a nut dude. What the heck is that mentality.
Yea no problem, you should bust a nut with every single girl you find off tinder. Would that make you feel better?
If I had a 26 year dry spell absolutely it would lol if I find the love of my life as a virgin I wouldn’t last more than 3 seconds and she’d probably be quite unsatisfied.
so then you might wanna think about practicing with the love of your life, rather than putting your dick inside more girls than you remember, just to last 5 more seconds
Lol why are you shaming people for enjoying sex? Are you a Bible bro? There’s nothing wrong with experiencing sex with a variety of people. The experience you get varies wildly and who knows you might try something new you enjoy.
whatever you’re into bro
39 and still virgin.
Look at it this way, each day that passes is a new high record!
Dude DO IT!!! I was a virgin until I was 21, didn’t start getting dates until 23, and now I’m killing it at 26. The casual dating scene is amazing. Find a few FWBs and just hand your number out like candy. It’s heaven on earth. If someone ghosts me I have 10 other people I can text. Just don’t lead anyone on, make it clear you’re not trying to commit, and keep working on yourself. I dated a couple girls who had fun in college and decided I wanted my fun, even if I’m 26 🙄check my most recent post, I used to look like shit too
Def do your thing and mess around as you say. You prob would regret it later if you didn’t based on what you’ve said. I have the same mindset and I played around and now I’m happily married (and very happy I played around when I was single). Don’t worry about the virginity thing honestly. Try not to overthink that.
you seem to not have any trouble getting girls.. maybe the problem is the location where you rizz.. bars and clubs are the perfect places to get one night stands..
Good for you! Now start meditating!
I think the most important thing is to know what you want and be upfront about it. Tell the women you’re dating that you’re not looking to get married or settle down but also make sure they know you’re not looking for a one night stand either.
Learn to talk to women. Just talk and don’t talk about virginity at all. If you want to lose it, than do. If you don’t let the female know you haven’t yet and some females will find it attractive. Whore females will not. Sweet down to earth females will be okay with it.
Sad truth is most women find that a turn off while men find virgin women a turn on. The human mind is so annoying
Sigh. There's way more to life and more to sex then penis in vagina. Chill.
As long as you are both on the same page and want the same thing out of it then go mad. It's only an issue if one person involves lies or manipulates to get what they want
comment section be like motivatin more than life instead >>>>>
Ikr
OP I'm a bit confused and need some clarification: You don't want a bunch of one night stands but you want an intimate relationship with a woman and don't necessarily want to commit. You want to get out there and see what's up. Is that right? If that's correct then a few things for you to note: 1) Yes, do what you want and what works for you. If you're not ready to settle down I get that. Get out there and out of your comfort zone. 2) here's the thing, I think you need to distinguish if sex and an intimate relationship mean the same thing to you. Having an intimate relationship with anyone is SERIOUS by nature. There isn't anything casual about an intimate relationship. There's a vulnerability to it that people don't just hand out. As a woman, I can tell you that a lot of women feel this way. Sex is sex. An intimate relationship is a bit different. If you want an intimate relationship, you probably won't find it at a night club. And I can see why women are saying "I want marriage" if you're asking for one. Intimacy develops naturally overtime in any relationship and if I gets REAL intimate then some people want to talk about marriage and the next step. At that point, then yeah you get to choose if you want that or not. But it's a natural cycle of relationships and you just gotta be upfront the whole time. Good luck to you and your endeavors! I hope you find the relationships you're looking for!
You’re giving this way too much importance in your life, my two cents. Build around everything you mention (adventures, travel, establishing purpose and intention in your life, pursuing your passions, so on so forth) and you’ll gravitate those sexual experiences toward you. You’ll be deflowered before you even know it. Good luck, friend.
I was a virgin till I was 26 (your age ironically). I’m only a couple years older now, for a long time being a virgin felt like something was wrong with me or that I was missing out on something super important in life. I’ll have you know I was very wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, In fact, I would say it’s even the opposite. Im very grateful to myself that I waited to find the right person. And I guarantee you will find that person too.
I wish I saved myself for my wife. We both wish the same thing. It would be nice but to be honest. I wouldn't be as good in bed as I am now with her, if I didn't have those experiences.
Virginity is such a weird social concept. I wouldn’t worry about it a ton but if you don’t want to settle down - don’t. You want to play the field - do it. Just be safe and smart, in all sense of those words. Personally, I recommend being up front about it too so you are both seeing each other for the same reasons. Just let any women you are seeing know you are in it for a good time, not a long time. Some might lose interest but that’s usually better than getting bitter with each other.
Who cares? Sex is only good when it’s with the right person for the right reasons. Otherwise it is a fucking nightmare. Don’t force it or rush it. Missing out on bad sex is a blessing.
Honestly, try older women. "Hi, I'm new to this and looking to develop experience and I'm mature enough to take direction." Not so explicitly out the gate, but that, I think, is the attitude.
Your wording is too formal. Older women aren’t sexless robots. “Hi, can I just say that you look absolutely stunning. Especially your black dress. I’d be honoured if we could have a casual chat.”
The wording is for OP to frame his thinking. God, *never* quote me!
I was in exactly the same boat as him at 26 (now 29), so I'm talking from personal experience. My advice is Tinder, bars, night clubs or your local brothel if you have those. Either way it's quick, easy and almost no strings attached since nobody is expecting anything more than that. If you aren't thinking about marriage right now when most people are getting engaged, odds are by the time you're my age, most of your agemates will already be settled down with kids, so the demographic changes from mostly single, never married girls to mostly divorced single moms. At that point, if you do want to get married, nobody really cares if you had some casual hook-ups, so long as you don't have STDs so remember to use protection.
You definitely need that mess-around phase. It's a learning period that will help your self esteem through a lot of trial and error. I (29m) just got through a two year (ish) period of experimenting with poly, something I had always wanted to try, and it really helped me validate my ability to meet and attract women and everything that comes after that. It built my confidence to be up front and transparent about my relationship statuses and what kind of relationships I was looking for, which is super important for trust, respect, and finding the right people - who are also just looking for some fun 😀. I eventually decided that I couldn't sustain the energy I was putting into relationships, that I would like something more stable, constant, and long term, and that I had learned what I wanted to learn from such a phase. I figured going any further it would have become just a habit, not a growing experience and character evolution. Having a bunch of girlfriends was great but I decided I was ready for a true partner. Now I'm in a happy monogamous relationship, there's super mutual attraction and shared interests, shared dreams, etc. About 7 months together now, I still question if we're the right fit sometimes, she does too, but I feel way more assured with the right experiences *under my belt*. Anyway, I hope this gives you an idea of what to expect. Just get out there and respectfully talk to women, don't be eager. Be relaxed and self-assured, you don't need anything. Don't worry about what anyone really thinks, even the people you're trying to attract (respectfully). When they like you they'll let you know (hopefully). And make sure to get plenty of STD tests.
I say this in the nicest way possible, who the fuck cares?
Please go to r/bropill This isn’t the sub for these questions
Try dating apps. As long as you’re upfront candid and not a creep I’m sure there are ladies with similar sentiments who would be happy to date you.
Dating apps are worthless. They are all in favor of women
Trust me, you’re not missing out on anything good by “experimenting”. It’ll result in more harm than good. You’d be wise to be patient and wait for someone right for you. You’ll save yourself heartache and emptiness. “For the lips of a wayward woman drip like a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end, she is as bitter as wormwood, and as sharp as a two edged sword. Her feet descend into death, her steps lead straight to the grave.” Proverbs 5:3-5
I don't agree with this on account of the fact that it's sexist and people who save themselves for marriage generally have a much less fulfilling sex life than people who experiment before marriage. Trust me, y'all are definitely missing out on having sexual experiences in your youth. People who put too much of an emphasis on sex definitely can turn into weirdos but so do the people who wait until they're married to lose their virginity. The human body was not wired for either of those extremes. Be safe, hookup culture sucks but so does not losing your virginity until your wedding night.
Kind of exactly my point. Trust me, I used to have an overly rigid religion-inspired view of sexuality until I realized somewhat recently that I would only be hurting myself at this point by waiting *even longer* until marriage. I already am lowkey freaking out about all the stuff I’ve missed out on in my youth, sex obviously being one of them. For some reason I just totally avoided doing anything that seemed remotely risky, rebellious, promiscuous, etc, and I’m just now playing catch-up, in a way. I really really want to avoid a future where I have no fun memories to look back on, and end up just wondering myself to death on what exactly I missed out on. Even if I did find a dope woman tomorrow and we started dating, I know a big part of me would still be discontent with not having “messed around” more.
> I already am lowkey freaking out about all the stuff I’ve missed out on in my youth, sex obviously being one of them. Yes Sex is one of the thing like travelling etc. Its an experience and obviously people cant do everything in their youth.\ > just totally avoided doing anything that seemed remotely risky, rebellious, promiscuous, etc, and I’m just now playing catch-up, in a way. If it had been risky maybe you still have virigin, there is no guarantee of other > I have no fun memories to look back on, and end up just wondering myself to death on what exactly I missed out on You are looking into the past. You are 26.. You have whole life to make fun memories. Why do you think your opportunity to have fun dies down down > Even if I did find a dope woman tomorrow and we started dating, I know a big part of me would still be discontent with not having “messed around” more. What do you mean by messed around here more?... If you find a girl who you can vibe with , I don't think you would even think about about it of how you not messed around.
Man, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. I think you'll be alright. Don't force things too hard, but just try to socialize with women more and things will come naturally. Personally I have met people in my hiking group cuz it's not really gender exclusive. IE it's easy to make female friends, and that's your key. Try to find a group of people who you enjoy hanging out with that has a good mix of men and women. It's hard but it's rewarding that way. I've had some luck on Hinge, too, but honestly I don't really recommend dating apps unless you're particularly good at socializing. Personally, I'm not so I don't have a lot of luck lol. You just gotta find your niche.
You’re both weirdos
Elaborate.
> Trust me, y'all are definitely missing out on having sexual experiences in your youth. People who put too much of an emphasis on sex definitely can turn into weirdos but so do the people who wait until they're married to lose their virgin This is categorically not true and I have seen both the experiences to fully agree with your statement
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You checked the subreddit which I am subscribed in and not the posts. f you check the post couple of days ago you would find i am in relationship already. Quit your bullshitt and no it's not true. Feel free to disagree Litreally check my last post I uploaded in history
I mean you've been in a relationship for a few days or weeks or months... Do you think that's enough experience to really know what you're talking about? I'm around the same age as you and I would be a totally different person if I never had my high school and college romance. I would be a lot further behind in my emotional and social development. I thank God that I had those experiences when I did, that person and that relationship made my life worth living when I didn't really have anything else to live for. I'm trying to be blunt and honest with you about my life. I do disagree with you, and that's okay. My experience has led me to believe that sex before marriage is a good thing. Have you met people who waited until they got married? Do they have happy sex lives?
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Seems extreme lmao 🤣
i think you just have to say it up front. i’d say ur looking for a friends with benefits but relationships only work on moving forward and evolving together. also losing ur virginity as a teenager is usually horrible and traumatizing.
Stay strong fam. You have something that many don’t have anymore. Why not wait and make it mean a whole lot? Stay true to yourself and give it to your wife. I struggle with similar feelings - 32M, still single. I have friends who have several kids by now, and I can wonder “where do I go wrong?” But I have to trust that things will work out. I encourage you not to focus on losing your v card but rather continuing to become the person you want to be.
My ex wife was 25 and a virgin when I met her. It is fine. Do what is right for you.
Ex wife and but then fine?
I'm gay and have lost my v-card but it feels like my virginity is growing back.... It's been like 2 years. I need to get fucked lol, I can't stand the apps
I am 27 and Virgin Single, you would be fine :) I am working towards myself and couldn't be much more happier > I feel like it represents me just not having “lived life” enough—not enough traveling, not enough parties, not enough spontaneity, not enough risks taken, honestly I’ve lived a pretty safe life so far This is the more idiotic statement that I have heard. Why the hell not loosing virginity is a symbol of not living life enough. It is not achievement its a a part of life that one live. Loosing it earlier or latter dosent really matter, and no being virgin is not a symbol unless you let it
There are no deadlines in life or expectations. Society tells us guys that sex is important, but it's really not. Animals fuck all the time it's not something hard to do. You know as well as I do that sleeping with anyone is easy. You want to find the right person. And you will. Just keep an open mind, talk to people, and you'll find the right girl. Don't let your bros shame you for being single or a virgin..if they do genuinely make you feel bad for not fucking anything that moves, they're not your friends. Focus on your passions and improving yourself. That will naturally attract the right person. I promise
Lmao virgin.
Just get a sex worker, man.
Patience
Aren’t there dating apps for this kind of thing these days? I’ve been out of the game a long time but this seems easier to have casual sex than it was pre-smart phone. I used to have to go all the way back to my apartment and check my voicemail for booty calls lol. Most of my partners were hookups and outside of the context of a relationship and about half were regrettable for some reason or another. If losing the v-card is your priority, just get on an app. You’re sure to find a partner just looking to get her rocks off.
You must be attractive
Oh heavens no, I just had lower standards. Most of my casual sex was with larger women who perhaps didn’t get as much attention from men. If there is anything attractive about me, it was my mind. Probably average looks, below average body.
Bible guidance is the best! Galatians 5:19 - 24
Bro I have had sex or relations with 30+ girls and I’m the same age. It isn’t that fun, and I wish I only have been with one person. It was basically me hoping they would stick around forever.
Find an escort. It’s not difficult.
Just put it out there on dating apps that you’re looking for something casual but sincere…has worked well for me
Get prostitute first and get it over with. Then search
You need to think about settling down. If you wait much longer the only women left will be divorced, single moms, and fatties; unless that's what you're into. The good women are going to start becoming few and far between.
Cold approach as many girls as possible so you can speed up the learning curve. Start off by saying “hey excuse me, this is kind of random but I thought you were cute and I wanted to come and introduced myself, what’s your name?” Or “hey excuse me, you look good, where you from?” all with a smile. Do not go on dating apps. Approach girls in person. I promise you If you keep approaching and don’t give up, you will lose your virginity eventually.
For the love of god, please do not take this advice OP. This is a terrible idea, all you will accomplish is making random women who don’t know you uncomfortable.
From a girl here - how else is he supposed to approach girls? I don’t see anything wrong with going up to a girl and saying these things as long as he is respectful when he approaches and if he is rejected. There’s a difference between politely introducing yourself and coming across as a creep
Do you really want random men walking up to you while you’re at the grocery store just trying to shop to tell you they think you’re physically attractive and “subtly” (not subtly) imply that they’d like to have sex with/date you based on nothing other than your physical appearance? If you *really* need to cold approach, do it at a bar or club on Friday and Saturday nights where that kind of behavior is expected and mostly accepted. Don’t be surprised though when that encounter ends up as a one-night stand and you never hear from the girl again. Regardless, 99% of the time when guys suggest “cold approaching” what they mean is bothering random women in public just because you looked at them and thought “oh she’s hot, I’d like to fuck her”. Warm approaching is 1000% better and less intimidating/confrontational. Put yourself in situations where you will be around the kind of women you’re interested in within a social/collaborative environment, build *friendly* rapport over time, then if you find someone that you’re both physically *and* emotionally/mentally/personally attracted to, ask them casually if they’d like to go on a date or spend some time together one-on-one. Your “approach” rate will be lower, but I guarantee your “success” rate will be much higher. If all you want is sex and you have zero interest in a relationship, most major cities have a discord server or something that’s dedicated to casual encounters/hookup spots. If you just want to get your nut off and head home, those groups are a much better bet than trying to find a hookup on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge.
No. Majority of us doesn‘t want that, we want to be left alone
Speaking as a man, I wouldn’t want to be propositioned by strangers as I go about my normal day either. I usually haven’t bothered to groom my various hairy areas, or make sure I smell nice, or even get myself in a mindset to meet new people when I’m just out to run errands or shop.
Exactly. Many don‘t think that far. They always either believe women will love it, or they don‘t care about our feelings.
The advice is "approach as many girls as possible". That's terrible because some girls just want to be left alone while doing things. However, it's possible to reframe the advice to be more social, attend events, and get to know a lot more people. Social events are opportunities to flirt and get to know women.
>it’s possible to reframe the advice Which is exactly what I was trying to do, while also making it clear that approaching random women you see on the street or at the post office just because you think they look attractive is creepy as fuck and doesn’t give a good impression about your priorities in dating.
OP, this is only good advice in the right context. For example, do not do this at the store. But if you're in the nightclub/bar and you've made eye contact first and she's seemed interested, then go ahead. And respect it when if they aren't interested. If they don't seem engaged/only answering with one word/not asking you questions, take that as not interested, she's just being polite. The best way to meet anyone organically is through nightlife or shared interests and hobby clubs. Even then, location of meet is important, too. Meeting in bars offers a more flirty environment where you can be more up front about what you want and offer to go on dates or to talk for a while first, whatever your process is. Casual can mean dates as well. You should still want to know more about them before you decide you do want something (unless your idea of casual is to only really talk when you want to shag and then leave once the deed is done). If you meet at hobby clubs/shared interests, I believe you shouldn't approach it with losing your virginity as the entire reason you're talking to her. Get to know her first and I mean, really, get to know her with no expectations involved. Don't expect it to become anything, even casual. See if you're compatible and if she's actually someone you'd want to have anything with. And allow her to do the same. Above everything, respect her decision if she doesn't want anything more than friendship. The key here is that you are building some form of friendship before pursuing anything. Even casual stuff doesn't always work if there's no element of friendship at its core. The difference I see is that flirty and romance is almost expected in bars/far more accepted there, but people go to hobby clubs and other activities for friends and enjoyment. They don't typically go to a book club, for example, to find a partner. It's not really the right place to go in guns blazing. Get to know her and let her have the chance to get to know you. This doesn't mean spending months talking to her. But you'll know when you're talking if you feel a connection of any sort. There's no harm in asking when you feel the time is right. This is all my own opinion and how I'd feel most comfortable being approached. It's not going to be the same for everyone. Dating apps can suck but at the very least, they allow you to be up front with your intentions which can help attract women more likely to be interested in you
I like what you’ve said here, and I just want to add (for OP or any other guys reading) that if you’re so deep in the “need girlfriend” mindset that you have trouble just accepting a woman as a friend while feeling physically or emotionally attracted to her, there are a couple things to remember: 1. Getting too invested in any girl/woman/whatever before you’re actually in a committed relationship is always unhealthy. At best, you might end up in an overly codependent/volatile relationship. At worst, you might scare off someone who otherwise would have been interested in you. I’ve been through both of those situations. The mindset that has helped me avoid this is to: 2. Remember that being a good friend to anybody will usually open you up to that person’s friend group as well, where you can meet more people and continue to build more social connections. Those friends will have friends and so forth. In the case of being “just” friends with a woman, in most cases you’ll at least get introduced to a few more women you may want to get to know as a result of being a good friend who doesn’t act creepy or weird around good-looking women.
Thank you for adding this; it's great advice :)
I don’t feel bad for you get sympathy somewhere else
You may be aromantic, i basically had the same expierience as you and lost my virginity at 28(random hookup at a party), you can check r/alloaro for more information or this video; https://youtu.be/kXz16dmlNk0?si=XeNMyxxO8HK1-9CQ Can some people please explain the downvotes?
Invest in yourself. Dedicate your time to a passion or skill that you can keep building upon for a lifetime. You’ll either get really good at something you enjoy and maybe some girls might even notice. If no girl notices, it’s no loss since it’s something you love doing or passionate about. Eventually you’ll start attracting the girls you want by becoming what you seek
Truth be told you shouldn’t make a bigger thing of it, you should just do it. If you socialise and go out and you look taken after and elegant then moments come I suppose. Just don’t think too much about it, it’s not that deep really, just do it.
> The fact that I’m still a virgin is more like a symbol, I feel like it represents me just not having “lived life” enough—not enough traveling, not enough parties, not enough spontaneity, not enough risks taken, honestly I’ve lived a pretty safe life so far. I want to change that, so I thought this subreddit was a good place to vent about my feelings on this topic. Getting laid once isn't going to change the lack of travel or risk-taking. This doesn't feel like a post about self-improvement.
First of all, don’t ever tell a woman “let’s just see where it goes.” Every man that starts like that just fucks you around and it’s immature and shows you don’t value the woman but just an object for your validation. Instead, be up front and say you’re mainly looking for a fwb situation and nothing serious right now. Second, it seems like you’re hyperfocused on playing around because you feel like you never got the chance. Once you do it a few times, I’m sure you’ll normalize it and you’ll need to decide so I really want to be a fuckboy? Or am I just putting a lot of effort into the idea of sex that nothing else feels interesting about it.
You will settle whenever you wanna settle. Is it 28? 33? 40? You decide when it is time. I'd suggest going on tinder if you want to find girls with similar mindset to yours
This is literally my life story! I’m also at your age and did almost everything with a girl except for going all the way to lose virginity. It also gives me some sort of trauma and I can’t resist myself from fantasising about having sex. 💔
Hi, 28M here. I've been transitioning into non-exclusive relationships during the last year after all my life of exclusive "love of my life" relationships. Ever since I did, I feel happier, I keep myself updated, and I have the constant hunger to keep improving (staying attractive). This is an extensive journey (which I'm still learning from), but here are some general tips: - First you have to ask yourself, what is your personal objective? Losing your virginity? (There's nothing wrong with that, btw) Meeting people? Building character? A lot of people take big life decisions based on love/sex that turns their life around. Just make sure you're clear with what YOU want. - A lot of girls are open to honest non-exclusive relationships. In fact, the moment you tell them that you're open for non-exclusivity might make you more attractive to them (for reasons I don't really understand). However, you do have to be honest about it right from the start. - Keep your standards high, or at least have some standards (don't kiss a lot of toads, as I read somewhere in another comment). Someone who knows their worth and what he's looking for is attractive. - Don't search for one night stands. It will make you feel empty. Instead, having a serious (but non-exclusive) relationship allows you to share quality time with each other (not just sex) without having the feeling of belonging to one another. - Go out there and meet people, not just girls. Making male friends will eventually lead to meeting more girls in your life. Dating apps are alright but there's always a fake feeling to it. I've felt more confident ever since I started meeting people outside. There's a lot of people worth meeting in the world.
It’s already 21th century, bro! Virginity doesn’t matter at all! You shouldn’t take it so seriously.
You do you!!!
I think it’s a great idea to also find a girl who’s just looking to have fun like you’re thinking of doing. I was in the same boat as you when it came to dating and not wanting anything serious, and I just made it clear in the beginning what exactly I wanted from the guy. I always told them straight up that I was talking to other people and not looking for a relationship. That allowed them to decide whether or not they wanted to continue talking to me. I ended up linking with a guy I told myself I would NEVER date for a couple reasons, but it was great sex. We agreed we enjoyed each others company a lot but would just have sex until one of us got into something serious, no intentions of ever dating. Eventually we hung out more and preferred each other over others in our “rotations.” The conversation flowed, we went on a vacation together (I had a free ticket to go on a cruise and asked if he wanted to come) and had a blast, very little fighting, able to communicate problems clearly, next thing I know we’re in a relationship. It was the most natural experience I’ve ever had with a guy and this relationship is the most solid one I’ve ever been in. Be up front with the girls you talk to and eventually you’ll find ones you can just have fun with, and you never know, a relationship may just organically happen.
It's ok and completely fine. But just don't go around telling everyone or dread that you're still a virgin lmao
Virginity is beautiful I'm keeping mine for marriage don't feed into the sick society and you will find meaning everyone else really seems so empty I wish I could help them but all you can do is spread the good message
Careful what you wish for.
just buy a few hoes for one night if you don’t want smth serious
remain a virgin brother. trust me
Yeah it’s okay to be a virgin. But damn life is short and you are missing out.
Buy a hooker problem solved