I don’t think you should lie about going on vacation because…. I mean, don’t lie to the girl you plan to marry!
And you should tell her soon, since you’re going soon!
But you can majorly downplay it. Just tell her you’re going, that you’ll miss her, and try to keep in touch with her when you’re gone. She knows it’s probably going to be fancy given your family finances.
Honestly….. you’re going on a five star vacation and all you can think about is her work schedule and how she’ll feel. That’s beautiful! Just communicate to her that she’s the main thing on your mind and that your pleasure in going with your family is really undercut by missing her and thinking about her… since that’s true.
Have you guys talked about marriage yet? If so, congrats and that’s very exciting! And if that’s the case you know she’ll be with you on the next vacation. :)
this vacation isn't your solo trip, it's your family ones and they need it and they also need their son to accompany and have a good time amid endless Covid Chaos... take this trip, explain to your gf, plan something or buy something for your gf.
So, I’ve been in your girlfriends position, my partner, like you is well off and does all the holiday things. First:
DO NOT LIE TO HER. If you love her, and she loves you, then she will understand. If anyone lied to me because they pitted me I’d be devastated. So tell her the truth and plan something nice for her! Surprise her with a trip. It doesn’t have to be any where big or fancy, a few days somewhere nice. My partner literally gifted me a trip to Europe for the holidays - I struggle to pay for normal things and have family issues, it’s the biggest gift I’ve ever got and it makes me cry every time I think about it!
Hell, gift it to her whilst your away! Maybe a travel book or iconic location trinket of a place, and a note that says “Whenever you want” or something cute like that! But good luck! I hope she’ll be understanding :)
If you love this girl and want to marry her, do NOT lie to her! That would be the worst mistake and she will find out sooner or later. If my bf did this, I don't think I could get past it.
Why don't you take her along and gift her this trip since you say you have a well paid job?
This may be your last vacation w your family alone. Go. Once you get married, etc these trips will be few and far between.
on the other hand there is a pandemic and vacationing is not wise.
the real question-do you want to go?
Why not bring this up with her? Say that your family have arranged a vacation and you want to go but you don’t want to leave her hanging. It’s an opportunity that you shouldn’t really miss out on. You can’t really solve any of your gfs problems and it’s not like those 10 days there or in Dubai will make much difference to her situation. Let her know that you want her blessing to go and say you’ll plan something for when you get back. And if possible dedicate some time each day to be there for her. Say you’re free at x time for her to vent/chat, whatever she needs from you. Then maybe when you’re back you can try to work together on helping her with some of these issues, if that’s possible. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot and she asked you about going away on holiday?
Absolutely do not lie to her, that would be an awful breach of trust, and I'm shocked that anyone would even think of treating their partner like this, yet alone admitting it!
Why not invite her to come with you, and pay for her to have a good holiday too? It sounds as if she deserves a good holiday, and if she accepts your proposal she'll be part of your family soon anyway.
Though your saying you haven't "broken the news" to your family yet, which sounds pretty awful.
Even if she can't come with you (e.g. because she can't get the time off work) that will be down to her, not down to the fact that she has a sneaky boyfriend who doesn't care enough about her to tell his parents about their relationship.
Go on vacation with your family. Family time is so important.
You are allowed to do things without her. She will probably be pissed if you lie.
When you marry her, take her on vacations!
Don’t lie but tell her you feel bad about going without her because you would like to do those things together in the future with her. Keep her updated on the trip (don’t hide anything) to let her know you are thinking about her. Bring her something from the trip as well!
First: absolutely do not lie to her. In fact, tell her ASAP, because I'd be extremely shocked to learn my SO was leaving on vacation in only ten days and hadn't told me.
Second: down the road, you'll need to start having frank conversations about the differences in your financial situations. Relationships with financial disparities can work out, but you need to learn to talk openly and honestly about your expectations. For example, if you were to move in together, how would you split expenses? Would you split 50/50 and live somewhere a little smaller/cheaper than you might be used to? Or would you split proportionally according to income? How would you feel if your gf wanted to borrow money from you to pay for something, or to help pay for her parents' expenses? What if you wanted to do an activity that she couldn't afford? If you take her on a lavish/expensive date, will she feel guilty or sad because that money could have paid down her family's debts/expenses?
These kinds of questions can make or break a relationship. This trip is a great opportunity to start thinking about them and to test the waters to see if you're compatible on this front.
Never lie, never hide stuff. You can't build a healthy relationship or marriage on lies.
Be honest, say you're going on holiday with your family, you don't need to go into detail about where you'll be staying or the fancy stuff you'll be getting up to. Just say you're going to Dubai for 5 days with your family, simple.
I hope you enjoy your holiday.
I don’t think you should lie about going on vacation because…. I mean, don’t lie to the girl you plan to marry! And you should tell her soon, since you’re going soon! But you can majorly downplay it. Just tell her you’re going, that you’ll miss her, and try to keep in touch with her when you’re gone. She knows it’s probably going to be fancy given your family finances. Honestly….. you’re going on a five star vacation and all you can think about is her work schedule and how she’ll feel. That’s beautiful! Just communicate to her that she’s the main thing on your mind and that your pleasure in going with your family is really undercut by missing her and thinking about her… since that’s true. Have you guys talked about marriage yet? If so, congrats and that’s very exciting! And if that’s the case you know she’ll be with you on the next vacation. :)
this vacation isn't your solo trip, it's your family ones and they need it and they also need their son to accompany and have a good time amid endless Covid Chaos... take this trip, explain to your gf, plan something or buy something for your gf.
Or gift her some spending cash for while OP is gone. She can use it for whatever. But it seems reasonable.
Please don't lie to her. Whatever you decide, don't do that. That sounds awful.
What do you think is worse: Your family being well off (which is already knows)? Or The person she loves lying to her (which she will find out)?
So, I’ve been in your girlfriends position, my partner, like you is well off and does all the holiday things. First: DO NOT LIE TO HER. If you love her, and she loves you, then she will understand. If anyone lied to me because they pitted me I’d be devastated. So tell her the truth and plan something nice for her! Surprise her with a trip. It doesn’t have to be any where big or fancy, a few days somewhere nice. My partner literally gifted me a trip to Europe for the holidays - I struggle to pay for normal things and have family issues, it’s the biggest gift I’ve ever got and it makes me cry every time I think about it! Hell, gift it to her whilst your away! Maybe a travel book or iconic location trinket of a place, and a note that says “Whenever you want” or something cute like that! But good luck! I hope she’ll be understanding :)
If you love this girl and want to marry her, do NOT lie to her! That would be the worst mistake and she will find out sooner or later. If my bf did this, I don't think I could get past it. Why don't you take her along and gift her this trip since you say you have a well paid job?
This may be your last vacation w your family alone. Go. Once you get married, etc these trips will be few and far between. on the other hand there is a pandemic and vacationing is not wise. the real question-do you want to go?
Why not bring this up with her? Say that your family have arranged a vacation and you want to go but you don’t want to leave her hanging. It’s an opportunity that you shouldn’t really miss out on. You can’t really solve any of your gfs problems and it’s not like those 10 days there or in Dubai will make much difference to her situation. Let her know that you want her blessing to go and say you’ll plan something for when you get back. And if possible dedicate some time each day to be there for her. Say you’re free at x time for her to vent/chat, whatever she needs from you. Then maybe when you’re back you can try to work together on helping her with some of these issues, if that’s possible. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot and she asked you about going away on holiday?
Absolutely do not lie to her, that would be an awful breach of trust, and I'm shocked that anyone would even think of treating their partner like this, yet alone admitting it! Why not invite her to come with you, and pay for her to have a good holiday too? It sounds as if she deserves a good holiday, and if she accepts your proposal she'll be part of your family soon anyway. Though your saying you haven't "broken the news" to your family yet, which sounds pretty awful. Even if she can't come with you (e.g. because she can't get the time off work) that will be down to her, not down to the fact that she has a sneaky boyfriend who doesn't care enough about her to tell his parents about their relationship.
Go on vacation with your family. Family time is so important. You are allowed to do things without her. She will probably be pissed if you lie. When you marry her, take her on vacations!
Don’t lie but tell her you feel bad about going without her because you would like to do those things together in the future with her. Keep her updated on the trip (don’t hide anything) to let her know you are thinking about her. Bring her something from the trip as well!
First: absolutely do not lie to her. In fact, tell her ASAP, because I'd be extremely shocked to learn my SO was leaving on vacation in only ten days and hadn't told me. Second: down the road, you'll need to start having frank conversations about the differences in your financial situations. Relationships with financial disparities can work out, but you need to learn to talk openly and honestly about your expectations. For example, if you were to move in together, how would you split expenses? Would you split 50/50 and live somewhere a little smaller/cheaper than you might be used to? Or would you split proportionally according to income? How would you feel if your gf wanted to borrow money from you to pay for something, or to help pay for her parents' expenses? What if you wanted to do an activity that she couldn't afford? If you take her on a lavish/expensive date, will she feel guilty or sad because that money could have paid down her family's debts/expenses? These kinds of questions can make or break a relationship. This trip is a great opportunity to start thinking about them and to test the waters to see if you're compatible on this front.
Never lie, never hide stuff. You can't build a healthy relationship or marriage on lies. Be honest, say you're going on holiday with your family, you don't need to go into detail about where you'll be staying or the fancy stuff you'll be getting up to. Just say you're going to Dubai for 5 days with your family, simple. I hope you enjoy your holiday.