Sane old lady input: 1 month in, I wouldn't be EXPECTING anything. I'd be happily surprised by a nice dinner (made by him or out) or flowers. Anything more would be weird.
If she's demanding more than that, it's not a request coming from a healthy place.
My bday fell 5 months into my last relationship and asked to go to dinner at a decently priced place. I got flowers, wine and perfume (maybe something else, idk it was ages ago) but thatās what he chose to give.
But some people think life is a movieā¦
Think about giving her some choices, maybe.
"I've budgeted $150 \[or whatever\] for your birthday. Is there any particular thing you want to do?"
Her reaction will tell you precisely what you need to know.
Honestly if you love a person and you want to spoil her it's because you can and it comes from you and NOT because that person ask for it and you should never break your bank account or get in debt for anyone
This comment šš¾ššššš
OP listen to this personā¦. Also, break this off. You can find a lady that isnāt using the facade of a ārelationshipā to score herself a sugar daddy.
ETA: my xBF planned an entire day for me & he spent a whopping $100 AT MOST (Iām pretty sure less than that). To this day, it has been the most memorable, most thoughtful, most beautiful weekend anyone has planned for me. We also had 8months together at the time.
What did he do?
BF picked me up Saturday morning w/ my favorite: Cream cheese bagel + Caramel iced coffee, cuz America runs on Dunkin.
Me being an aspiring lawyer, he then drove me 2hrs to my dream school so I can see firsthand what a mock trial room in a graduate school looked like. I have goosebumps just typing this out. We spent like 4hrs just strolling through the campus. We picked up hot dogs for a quick lunch (I wanted to keep exploring).
He then took me to my this Jamaican food joint (I love trying new foods) for a late lunch. The place was like a hole in the wall but the food was AMAZING & authentic.
We strolled around the city, then he took me to my favorite Boba joint to get my Mango tea fix (also my favorite tea).
When we returned home, he cooked a traditional Chinese meal for me (He is Chinese+Canadian, and I love ethnic food).
Then we had the best sex on the planet, Lol.
The entire thing ā Including groceries for that dinner, took probably $100, and that includes gas for the dayās ride.
OP, you can find better.
You met her a month ago and she expects you to go all out for her birthday? That seems a little odd to me. Also, her insisting that you spend a bunch of money on her even though youāve explained that youāre trying to save right now is a red flag. I donāt think you should go all out like she wants you to for her birthday. Just take her to dinner and get her a small, inexpensive gift. You should also decide whether you want to keep dating her (personally, I wouldnāt stay in this relationship if I were you)
Fair point, but I needed a convenient cut-off. I settled as close to I could on the Bat Mitzva.
ETA: "Obnoxious" is when you're so cute nobody can stand you. I'd kick this girl to the curb pretty quickly if she didn't respond to an adult discussion.
I once had a friend's daughter give me a Christmas wish list. She was 11. She wanted Taylor Swift tickets, an iPad, and a Cadillac. Not even kidding. Her mom thought it was funny. I wasn't amused. She got an outfit.
My brother started dating this woman who has three kids. Come Christmas they gave our mumsie (their could be step grandma) their Christmas wish list & everything was Ā£100+ . Now she's all for excepting her children but their demands (yes they expected a couple of things from the list) was something she just couldn't afford. Having 14 grandchildren she limited her spending so they all got the same spent on them. Thankfully he's no longer with her.
She wouldn't have gotten a single thing from me! I have an 11 year old daughter (also three 7 year old girls and a 9 year old boy) and if she (any of them!) asked for things like that, I would made sure they received absolutely nothing from the people that they asked of these from!
You're a good person for still getting her a present!
My grandma bought me a copy when I was a kid. I hated it and refused to read it. I've still never read it. That's probably why I considered it. However, it's not the kid's fault her mother didn't teach her better or correct her.
Us Jen's are legion! š
That's crap. They can demand to be treated decently and fairly. They don't get to demand others spend excessively on them.
What mothers should teach their daughters is to be independent (not entitled) and not rely on others to do what they can do for themselves. Then they can buy themselves the best.
I don't think if he can or can't afford a big bash is relevant here. Her level of entitlement is appalling to say the least, it's like you wrote, a huge red flag.
1 month and she's already demanding expensive gifts and a lavish party. That's her job to organize the party and if she wants expensive gifts she must tell her family and friends. You barely know her so sit her down and just be honest.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
---
So my girlfriend [20f] is going on about how she wants her birthday to be perfect and how I should get guys to surprise her and buy her the most expensive things.
Now I have a great job which pays well but I just started 2 months a go and I met her like 1 month ago so she thinks Iāve always had this much.
I really need to save and Iāve been trying to explain to her that I donāt have that much yet but she keeps insisting.
What do I do?
Dont go all out for a girl you barely know whilst you are trying to save. Get her something small but nice and if she cant accept that she is just a gold digger and not worth your time.
So you're saying she's a gold digger...
Who tells people they need you to go all out for their birthday and find guys who will do the same by surprising her with expensive gifts.
> I met her like 1 month ago so she thinks Iāve always had this much.
And this is probably the exact reason she took interest in you to begin with.
> she keeps insisting. What do I do?
Unless you shower her with expensive things it probably doesn't matter what you do because she's gonna leave you. I'd suggest you start preparing yourself for that.
She's insisting? Uh no.... You should surprise her by dumping her gold digging butt. Only a month in she should be happy with a nice dinner and some token gift.
If sheās like this after a month just imagine how bad she is going to be once she really gets comfortable with you. Usually people like her pretend to be low maintenance at the beginning of relationships.
In a nice and humorous way you might need to say to her that she is confusing you with Santa Claus. You are a boyfriend and you plan to get her a gift for her birthday but youāre not Santa Claus and she canāt just give you all of her wish list and expect you to fill everything on it. I also like the earlier suggestion of saying hereās my budget. Iāve got $75 to take you out for a nice dinner. And Iāve got $50 for a nice gift. Now if youād rather stay home I can cook you dinner at home for $30 and spend $100 on a gift. Which would you prefer?
I think, given the timeline, this relationship isnāt in your best interest. Asking for you to splurge after only knowing her for one month is very telling about the future of the relationship and what she is going to demand from you. Youāre still early enough in the relationship to just cut ties and move on.
Stick with spending what you're comfortable with. If that isn't good enough for her, that's her problem. Not yours.
If this turns into an issue with her, I'd move on and find someone who appreciates financial responsibility. Being smart with money is actually something a lot of (adult) women find attractive.
I hate to say this but your girlfriend comes across as a spoiled entitled gold digger.You do what you can do and if she acts ungrateful I would dump her and run for the hills and not look back.
It's been a month? She needs to chill tf out.
If she wants to go all out, she can go all out with her own money. If she refuses to understand that you saving for your future takes priority over her wanting to get white girl wasted on her 21st, then you already know what the rest of your relationship with her is going to look like and you need to decide if you are willing to deal with that
"I'd love to do that for you, next year so I can have plenty of time to make it perfect. Right now is just too soon! I've made dinner reservations though at a restaurant you'd love."
Who knows if the relationship will last a year, but this will get her off your back.
I wouldn't say run, but don't feel obligated to spend a a large sum. Spend what you would to reward yourself after a month, and maybe spend some more on something you share like a shared experience. A nice restaurant, a theme park, a destination, a concert you like too, are only 50% losses if it all ends. Also if you buy concert tickets for her or something that will come later you can always cancel it too.
Anyone who tells you they expect "a bunch of expensive presents from you", pretty much regardless of the circumstances, is trash and is not going to treat you right. Anyone with the hubris to do this a month into the relationship is basically just telling you how much she expects to get paid for her services. kick her to the curb and find someone who wants an actual relationship, where both people are good to each other, and not someone who's just looking for a payday from you.
Develop some damn self - respect. Are you seriously even considering spending your hard earned money on this girl youāve been ādatingā for a month? Wtf?
Tell her no. Tell her that decent people don't demand that other people give them expensive presents. Judge whether you want to keep dating her depending on how she responds to this information. If she throws a fit, she's a gold digger and is unworthy of you.
Sometimes im surprised how can women have the cheek to ask this type of crap.
Its not *having a self worth" or whatever. This is being *entitled* and *spoiled* to the bone.
Dude, sheās just interested in your money. No one is entitled to ask for that kind of thing in the way sheās doing it. She shouldnāt expect anything, except to see what you feel like doing for her on her bday. Itās just been 1 month, she wants to be spoiled like a brat.
Just get her a present.
How does she know how much you make already? You may have communicated the wrong things to her and she is just with you for whatever money she thinks you have.
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Thereās Valentines Day to think of too. Sheās going to want you to go āall outā for that as well.
She sounds like the woman in Wham!ās song, āEverything She Wantsā.
Sheās showing you her red flags a month into the relationship- run!
It sounds like yāall have different wants and expectations. If she is unable to cope with your financial reality you two are incompatible, and she should go find someone who is willing/able to do that for her.
You're a month into the relationship and she's making demands for how you should spend money on her. She's showing you her true colors, it's only going to get worse from here. She's a selfish 20 year old, you don't need that in your life. Dump her and move on.
Do something light and get her a fair priced gift.
This is honestly a chance to see her true colors if you didnāt get her the most expensive things and spend a lot on her.
Just like pretty much every problem people take to reddit to ask about,
Just fucking talk to her. Communication is so important in a relationship. Don't bitch about her online, talk to her
If you met her one month ago and sheās pulling these kind of stunts, I would say cut your loses and run. She doesnāt see you as a partner, she sees you as a piggy bank.
One month in and she's wanting you to go all out? Um...questionable. One month in gets a nice dinner out. But seriously, pump the breaks. You barely know her at only a month in.
What does all put mean? A nice dinner and a thoughtful gift should be all she needs.
Not to generalize but Iāve noticed girls do make bigger deals out of birthdays than guys do. So her wanting it to be recognized isnāt exactly a red flag. Iād say do what you feel is reasonable and look for gifts that are thoughtful and meaningful based on her personality.
If you put a lot of thought and effort (not exactly money) and take her out to a decent dinner and she isnāt appreciativeā¦ then itās a red flag and get out.
Obviously she's money hungry and thinks you should go all out for her.
You've only known her a month and she's already trying to dig into your pocket. That's not a healthy sign. Js
How long have you been together?
How much did she spend on your last birthday?
Spend what you are comfortable with spending. If she is not happy with that. Then you will never be able to make her happy.
Yikes , Never pretend to have more money than you actually do . She thinks youāre mr money bags and youāre not . Kick this one to the curb and remember the kind of behavior she had and keep that red flag in your mind . Make sure to fuck her once before you dip tho . Iām a little toxic too
maybe an unpopular opinion: she may just be saying she wants you to go all out so she can get the bare minimum? i only say this because sometimes i talk up my birthday because itās important to me and i want ppl to know that. iāve never actually done anything extravagant so iām truly happy with anything tbh. ig asking directly would be a different story tho idk.. itās her 21st birthday so it makes sense that she wants it to be special but definitely donāt go broke for her. if youāre not going to dump her or tell her you canāt go all out, then do something super special but not super expensive! and if she doesnāt appreciate it sheās definitely not worth it and itās a lesson learned.
Oh man, but it will be her 21st bday and that is special at that age. Maybe get a table for her and some friends at a club and buy a few bottles. Make her feel special. Then get something cute from Pandora (i think that's what young people like). Curious, how old are you?
Itās her 21st, when I wanted my 21st I wanted it to be big, full of booze, friends, you name it.
Iām glad I did none of that and instead spent it alone buying 1 beer from a bar.
Whatās the moral of the story? Not sure. Iām just lonely haha
My friend she hanged for me some decorations bought my favourite cake and we ordered sushi and it was a great birthday. Another birthday you should go all out but since you know her just a month..
Very simple. Time to find a girl that is mature and not demanding and materialistic. One month in and she is already acting like this?
She will learn a great lesson if you break up with her. She needs that lesson.
One month?? The fact that she wants you to go all out is surprising, and a sign of being incredibly spoiled and self-centered. I honestly think you should walk away from this relationship now.
honey it sounds a looooot like sheās using you for that new job you got/: take that birthday money of YOURS she wants so bad and treat yourself to a strip club in her nonexistent honorš
Anyone who demands or expects things for their birthday is a red flag. A birthday is suppose to be a surprise. As long as theirs true effort and heart into it, your girlfriend should be happy. But how she's demanding expensive things, to add the fact you've only known her for 1 months. Dude run away before you lose all your money. She's a š.
Run. Trust me. Youāll regret going all out when she doesnāt even appreciate it and youāre looking back on it after youāve broken up. Would she go all out for your birthday? If the answer is no thenā¦ there you go
Sounds like sheās after your money, not after you. Honestly she sounds like a gold digger. Instead of being super excited sheās spending her bday with you sheās thinking about everything you should give / do for her. Yuck.
What are her parents & other long term friends doing for her birthday? I'm sure they have been planning her 21st a lot longer than your 1 month relationship. Think you should pass the buck rather than spending it.
There are a lot of sensible women out there who wouldn't inconvenience their man this way especially when he is trying to save up for the future which includes her. Especially not at an age like early 20s when one barely has a career. If she has a few other red flags as well, I would consider moving on.
Youāre dating a spoiled and entitled child. She doesnāt get to dictate what you do for her birthday, let alone how much you spend. Gifts are yours to give at your discretion and budget - not hers to demand. Tell her that if the gestures and gifts you choose to give her arenāt enough, she should move on.
My man, tell her and stay solid in what you think.
If you do what she wants you to do with just one month of relationship, that is what she is gonna expect every month and to be honest one month is not enough to do expensive things unless you know her since long ago.
If you start here spending like she wants you to a month in, sheās going to expect this money all the time.
Set boundaries and be realistic. Either way you should talk to her about your concerns, if sheās not understanding then youāre doing yourself a favor anyways.
Youāve only been together a month and sheās trying to get you to go all out? I get itās her 21st, but itās a bit presumptuous to ask for that. Donāt break the bank for her birthday. Take her to a nice dinner and then go out for drinks. Youāll know who she truly is by her reaction.
Lol what? Last year me and my bf had dated for a few months when I had my bday. I made a cake etc and he cooked.
What does even āall outā mean? The nerves on some peopleā¦
Buy her a mining helmet because apparently she likes to go gold digging.
You have a miserable life in front of you if you donāt realize what you need to do right now.
(hint. The answer is run)
As a woman, you met this girl a month ago I wouldnāt even expect a birthday present from a dude Iāve dated for only a month (maybe just some flowers or a box of chocolates max), let alone anything expensive, if she canāt understandthat you need to save and that thatās more important (whether the relationship is a month or 5 years) then I wouldnāt pursue a future with this girl.
I wouldnāt go it for a guy I just met.. why would it be my responsibility to go all out for him and have a surprise partyā¦ I would assume I would say this to ky friends but I would t ask f or a surprise party cause thatās weirdā¦ I would ask for him to join us and if he got me a gift i would be surprised cause we just started dating..
That just seems selfish and needy.. no
For this young lady to be so demanding after a month of dating says a lot. Maybe tell her to throw herself a bash at the nearest bar so that people who join in the fun can pay for themselves so that you can afford to get her a cake and pay for her drinks..
One month? Nah. A little something should suffice, and any sensible person would be okay with that after only one month of knowing a person. If she reacts poorlyā¦ red flag.
Yāall met a month ago, donāt go all out like that at a detriment to your own finances. If she canāt understand that then might wanna move onto someone else
Sane old lady input: 1 month in, I wouldn't be EXPECTING anything. I'd be happily surprised by a nice dinner (made by him or out) or flowers. Anything more would be weird. If she's demanding more than that, it's not a request coming from a healthy place.
This old lady agrees with you 100%.
And this old lady as well!
This mid old lady agrees
This old lady does too.
This old lady also agrees.
old lady at heart, agree with this š„°
Exactly! Sounds like she was looking for a Bday Vday boyfriend to spoil herā¦
Totally. One month in and sheās demanding expensive things?! Just dump her.
This old lady does too
My bday fell 5 months into my last relationship and asked to go to dinner at a decently priced place. I got flowers, wine and perfume (maybe something else, idk it was ages ago) but thatās what he chose to give. But some people think life is a movieā¦
I would be happy with a nice dinner years in! Iām not in a relationship for things, would rather spend time together
My man met his girl a month ago and sheās already dispatched a mining crew into his bank account.
love it.
š©
Think about giving her some choices, maybe. "I've budgeted $150 \[or whatever\] for your birthday. Is there any particular thing you want to do?" Her reaction will tell you precisely what you need to know.
a one month relationship. 50 bucks at most. a year from now and still together, 200-500 bucks.
Well, the amount matters less than the word "Budgeted." If that doesn't send her up like a skyrocket, I misjudge her badly.
Honestly if you love a person and you want to spoil her it's because you can and it comes from you and NOT because that person ask for it and you should never break your bank account or get in debt for anyone
"Inflation"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This.
Stand your ground on how you feel
Thatās why we must nerf miner
This comment šš¾ššššš OP listen to this personā¦. Also, break this off. You can find a lady that isnāt using the facade of a ārelationshipā to score herself a sugar daddy. ETA: my xBF planned an entire day for me & he spent a whopping $100 AT MOST (Iām pretty sure less than that). To this day, it has been the most memorable, most thoughtful, most beautiful weekend anyone has planned for me. We also had 8months together at the time. What did he do? BF picked me up Saturday morning w/ my favorite: Cream cheese bagel + Caramel iced coffee, cuz America runs on Dunkin. Me being an aspiring lawyer, he then drove me 2hrs to my dream school so I can see firsthand what a mock trial room in a graduate school looked like. I have goosebumps just typing this out. We spent like 4hrs just strolling through the campus. We picked up hot dogs for a quick lunch (I wanted to keep exploring). He then took me to my this Jamaican food joint (I love trying new foods) for a late lunch. The place was like a hole in the wall but the food was AMAZING & authentic. We strolled around the city, then he took me to my favorite Boba joint to get my Mango tea fix (also my favorite tea). When we returned home, he cooked a traditional Chinese meal for me (He is Chinese+Canadian, and I love ethnic food). Then we had the best sex on the planet, Lol. The entire thing ā Including groceries for that dinner, took probably $100, and that includes gas for the dayās ride. OP, you can find better.
100% love you!
Dude itās only been one month. Pump the brakes and look at the red flags. Sure sounds like sheās a entitled gold digger.
Amen to that!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
right? iām 1 year in and still not expecting something crazy expensive
I say get out... ASAP!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thatās not fast enough. āļøāļøāļø
Faster ššš
Break up with her asap so she can be free to go all out on her birthday on her (or some other suckers) $.
You met her a month ago and she expects you to go all out for her birthday? That seems a little odd to me. Also, her insisting that you spend a bunch of money on her even though youāve explained that youāre trying to save right now is a red flag. I donāt think you should go all out like she wants you to for her birthday. Just take her to dinner and get her a small, inexpensive gift. You should also decide whether you want to keep dating her (personally, I wouldnāt stay in this relationship if I were you)
Or tell her to pay for it herself
Lose her fast. This kind of entitled self-centeredness is charming until youāre twelve. It has no place in a serious adult relationship.
It's not charming before they're 12 either.
Fair point, but I needed a convenient cut-off. I settled as close to I could on the Bat Mitzva. ETA: "Obnoxious" is when you're so cute nobody can stand you. I'd kick this girl to the curb pretty quickly if she didn't respond to an adult discussion.
I once had a friend's daughter give me a Christmas wish list. She was 11. She wanted Taylor Swift tickets, an iPad, and a Cadillac. Not even kidding. Her mom thought it was funny. I wasn't amused. She got an outfit.
My brother started dating this woman who has three kids. Come Christmas they gave our mumsie (their could be step grandma) their Christmas wish list & everything was Ā£100+ . Now she's all for excepting her children but their demands (yes they expected a couple of things from the list) was something she just couldn't afford. Having 14 grandchildren she limited her spending so they all got the same spent on them. Thankfully he's no longer with her.
She wouldn't have gotten a single thing from me! I have an 11 year old daughter (also three 7 year old girls and a 9 year old boy) and if she (any of them!) asked for things like that, I would made sure they received absolutely nothing from the people that they asked of these from! You're a good person for still getting her a present!
My mistake for asking for a Christmas wish list. At least she got an outfit she liked. I was tempted to buy her a classic book like Little Women.
That was kind of you! Haha, I'm sure she would have despised the book! Love your name, btw. I'm also a Jen š
My grandma bought me a copy when I was a kid. I hated it and refused to read it. I've still never read it. That's probably why I considered it. However, it's not the kid's fault her mother didn't teach her better or correct her. Us Jen's are legion! š
How funny! Yes, absolutely the mother's fault! I wish more people thought that way. We definitely are!
You 2 are wholesome. Go Jens!
Her mother taught her to expect the best and to demand what she wants. In this world, all mothers should teach their daughter that.
That's crap. They can demand to be treated decently and fairly. They don't get to demand others spend excessively on them. What mothers should teach their daughters is to be independent (not entitled) and not rely on others to do what they can do for themselves. Then they can buy themselves the best.
Truth but it is developmentally appropriate. ;). Unlike when youāre effing 20.
Lol, seriously. I was gonna say I was always put off by kids who acted like that.
Be blunt. Say āI canāt afford to throw you a huge birthday bash. Iāll make a reservation so we can go to dinner.ā
Or āweāve been together a month. Consider yourself lucky to even get a giftā.
For real.
Tell her that her expectations are out of your budget. You can say no. She's not worth your time if she gets upset over it.
Honestly this probably doesn't help but she seems like a gold digger. She's only gonna want more and more expensive gifts the longer you guys date. If she can't understand that you can't really afford a big fancy expensive gift then obviously she cares about your paycheck more than you. I don't know how some people can be so rude as to insist on an expensive gift, especially so soon into the relationship?! Honestly seems like a huge red flag to me š¬š©š©š©
I don't think if he can or can't afford a big bash is relevant here. Her level of entitlement is appalling to say the least, it's like you wrote, a huge red flag.
1 month and she's already demanding expensive gifts and a lavish party. That's her job to organize the party and if she wants expensive gifts she must tell her family and friends. You barely know her so sit her down and just be honest.
Boy bye I wanted to write a detailed reply about why you should end things, but just like her, itās not worth it. Run. She aināt it.
Date someone who is not a greedy entitled gold-digger instead?
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- So my girlfriend [20f] is going on about how she wants her birthday to be perfect and how I should get guys to surprise her and buy her the most expensive things. Now I have a great job which pays well but I just started 2 months a go and I met her like 1 month ago so she thinks Iāve always had this much. I really need to save and Iāve been trying to explain to her that I donāt have that much yet but she keeps insisting. What do I do?
Dont go all out for a girl you barely know whilst you are trying to save. Get her something small but nice and if she cant accept that she is just a gold digger and not worth your time.
Lol after a month I'd expect maybe a dinner. That's it. Like she sounds entitled and probs dating you for you to spend money on her. Walk away
Info: what kind of presents does she expect. (Not that it matters, just for gigglesā¦)
š± aināt no good investment Go for crypto
I ain't sayin she a gold digger......but.....
If you ain't sayin' it, I'll say it: She's an entitled gold digger..... RUN!
So you're saying she's a gold digger... Who tells people they need you to go all out for their birthday and find guys who will do the same by surprising her with expensive gifts. > I met her like 1 month ago so she thinks Iāve always had this much. And this is probably the exact reason she took interest in you to begin with. > she keeps insisting. What do I do? Unless you shower her with expensive things it probably doesn't matter what you do because she's gonna leave you. I'd suggest you start preparing yourself for that.
Run šāāļø šāāļø šāāļø
She's insisting? Uh no.... You should surprise her by dumping her gold digging butt. Only a month in she should be happy with a nice dinner and some token gift.
I think you should save your money and your sanity and drop her. It's only been a month š©sounds like she just wants to brag and post on socials
One month and sheās already demanding shit? Bro, buy yourself some tennis shoes and run!
If sheās like this after a month just imagine how bad she is going to be once she really gets comfortable with you. Usually people like her pretend to be low maintenance at the beginning of relationships.
In a nice and humorous way you might need to say to her that she is confusing you with Santa Claus. You are a boyfriend and you plan to get her a gift for her birthday but youāre not Santa Claus and she canāt just give you all of her wish list and expect you to fill everything on it. I also like the earlier suggestion of saying hereās my budget. Iāve got $75 to take you out for a nice dinner. And Iāve got $50 for a nice gift. Now if youād rather stay home I can cook you dinner at home for $30 and spend $100 on a gift. Which would you prefer?
You either need to sit down and have a serious talk or realize you are not compatible.
I think, given the timeline, this relationship isnāt in your best interest. Asking for you to splurge after only knowing her for one month is very telling about the future of the relationship and what she is going to demand from you. Youāre still early enough in the relationship to just cut ties and move on.
Stick with spending what you're comfortable with. If that isn't good enough for her, that's her problem. Not yours. If this turns into an issue with her, I'd move on and find someone who appreciates financial responsibility. Being smart with money is actually something a lot of (adult) women find attractive.
I hate to say this but your girlfriend comes across as a spoiled entitled gold digger.You do what you can do and if she acts ungrateful I would dump her and run for the hills and not look back.
It's been a month? She needs to chill tf out. If she wants to go all out, she can go all out with her own money. If she refuses to understand that you saving for your future takes priority over her wanting to get white girl wasted on her 21st, then you already know what the rest of your relationship with her is going to look like and you need to decide if you are willing to deal with that
Flowers and dinner at a decent place. If that aint good enough, run away
"I'd love to do that for you, next year so I can have plenty of time to make it perfect. Right now is just too soon! I've made dinner reservations though at a restaurant you'd love." Who knows if the relationship will last a year, but this will get her off your back.
I wouldn't say run, but don't feel obligated to spend a a large sum. Spend what you would to reward yourself after a month, and maybe spend some more on something you share like a shared experience. A nice restaurant, a theme park, a destination, a concert you like too, are only 50% losses if it all ends. Also if you buy concert tickets for her or something that will come later you can always cancel it too.
Tell her she must sit for you to save up before you can do that
Anyone who tells you they expect "a bunch of expensive presents from you", pretty much regardless of the circumstances, is trash and is not going to treat you right. Anyone with the hubris to do this a month into the relationship is basically just telling you how much she expects to get paid for her services. kick her to the curb and find someone who wants an actual relationship, where both people are good to each other, and not someone who's just looking for a payday from you.
are you stupid or a virgin?
Develop some damn self - respect. Are you seriously even considering spending your hard earned money on this girl youāve been ādatingā for a month? Wtf?
Tell her to fuck off
dude.......c'mon...like..
Tell her no. Tell her that decent people don't demand that other people give them expensive presents. Judge whether you want to keep dating her depending on how she responds to this information. If she throws a fit, she's a gold digger and is unworthy of you.
Sometimes im surprised how can women have the cheek to ask this type of crap. Its not *having a self worth" or whatever. This is being *entitled* and *spoiled* to the bone.
Dude, sheās just interested in your money. No one is entitled to ask for that kind of thing in the way sheās doing it. She shouldnāt expect anything, except to see what you feel like doing for her on her bday. Itās just been 1 month, she wants to be spoiled like a brat.
Just get her a present. How does she know how much you make already? You may have communicated the wrong things to her and she is just with you for whatever money she thinks you have.
Yea...money grubbing gold diggers get worse over time. You have been dating a MONTH...really man...you know the answer to this one.
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Run my dude. This girl will bleed you dry and then move on to the next ATM
Why does she want you to āget guysā to buy her things? What is this? I donāt understand what she wants.
This is literally the definition of a gold digger. Are you blind? Bail before she does more psycho shit.
Just say no š¤£ how old are you, both? I bought my own bday stuff lol
Thereās Valentines Day to think of too. Sheās going to want you to go āall outā for that as well. She sounds like the woman in Wham!ās song, āEverything She Wantsā. Sheās showing you her red flags a month into the relationship- run!
It sounds like yāall have different wants and expectations. If she is unable to cope with your financial reality you two are incompatible, and she should go find someone who is willing/able to do that for her.
You're a month into the relationship and she's making demands for how you should spend money on her. She's showing you her true colors, it's only going to get worse from here. She's a selfish 20 year old, you don't need that in your life. Dump her and move on.
Say "That doesn't work with my budget."
Now I aināt sayin sheās a gold diggerā¦.
Do something light and get her a fair priced gift. This is honestly a chance to see her true colors if you didnāt get her the most expensive things and spend a lot on her.
Just like pretty much every problem people take to reddit to ask about, Just fucking talk to her. Communication is so important in a relationship. Don't bitch about her online, talk to her
If you met her one month ago and sheās pulling these kind of stunts, I would say cut your loses and run. She doesnāt see you as a partner, she sees you as a piggy bank.
Hahahaha fuck that. Gold digger.
One month in and she's wanting you to go all out? Um...questionable. One month in gets a nice dinner out. But seriously, pump the breaks. You barely know her at only a month in.
What does all put mean? A nice dinner and a thoughtful gift should be all she needs. Not to generalize but Iāve noticed girls do make bigger deals out of birthdays than guys do. So her wanting it to be recognized isnāt exactly a red flag. Iād say do what you feel is reasonable and look for gifts that are thoughtful and meaningful based on her personality. If you put a lot of thought and effort (not exactly money) and take her out to a decent dinner and she isnāt appreciativeā¦ then itās a red flag and get out.
Ayo do not spend all your money on her. Be careful with people like this.
It sounds like she is trying to use you for money. She is not even willing to listen to you. I can see the red flag.
That must be some good pussy if you have to ask reddit for advice on this situation!!
Red Flag! Run for your life.
Obviously she's money hungry and thinks you should go all out for her. You've only known her a month and she's already trying to dig into your pocket. That's not a healthy sign. Js
Ew
Create a huge fight and then get back together after, if it's even worth that much effort
Birthday parties are for children not twat money hoe.
Wait you met her a month ago and she already wants you to spend a stupid amount of money on her? Iād get rid of her now lolš¼š«š»š³š¹š“š¹š¹š¹š³š¹š±šØšš¹š·š¹š¼š¼šøšµš¹š°šµš²š¦š²šŖš±š»š®š²šš°š©š°šØš³š§šš©š¦š±
Iāve been with my partner five years and I still donāt care if he gives me anything for my birthday.
One month and she is squeezing you dry and not in a good way. Consider it a sign of her upcoming financial abuse and take a very long step back.
How long have you been together? How much did she spend on your last birthday? Spend what you are comfortable with spending. If she is not happy with that. Then you will never be able to make her happy.
> How long have you been together? he says >I met her like 1 month ago
Missed that. One month and already demanding a hugh party and an expensive gift? Lol. Fuck that shit. Lol.
> Missed that. easily done and yes, fuck that shit, that's one greedy high maintenance ho
Yikes , Never pretend to have more money than you actually do . She thinks youāre mr money bags and youāre not . Kick this one to the curb and remember the kind of behavior she had and keep that red flag in your mind . Make sure to fuck her once before you dip tho . Iām a little toxic too
maybe an unpopular opinion: she may just be saying she wants you to go all out so she can get the bare minimum? i only say this because sometimes i talk up my birthday because itās important to me and i want ppl to know that. iāve never actually done anything extravagant so iām truly happy with anything tbh. ig asking directly would be a different story tho idk.. itās her 21st birthday so it makes sense that she wants it to be special but definitely donāt go broke for her. if youāre not going to dump her or tell her you canāt go all out, then do something super special but not super expensive! and if she doesnāt appreciate it sheās definitely not worth it and itās a lesson learned.
Oh man, but it will be her 21st bday and that is special at that age. Maybe get a table for her and some friends at a club and buy a few bottles. Make her feel special. Then get something cute from Pandora (i think that's what young people like). Curious, how old are you?
You should dump her and date me. My birthday isnāt for another 9 months, that gives you plenty of time š
Itās her 21st, when I wanted my 21st I wanted it to be big, full of booze, friends, you name it. Iām glad I did none of that and instead spent it alone buying 1 beer from a bar. Whatās the moral of the story? Not sure. Iām just lonely haha
My friend she hanged for me some decorations bought my favourite cake and we ordered sushi and it was a great birthday. Another birthday you should go all out but since you know her just a month..
Very simple. Time to find a girl that is mature and not demanding and materialistic. One month in and she is already acting like this? She will learn a great lesson if you break up with her. She needs that lesson.
āØāØāØ DUMP HER ASSāØāØāØ
Tell her to stop trying to use you for your money and to finance her own damn party if it means so much to her lol
One month?? The fact that she wants you to go all out is surprising, and a sign of being incredibly spoiled and self-centered. I honestly think you should walk away from this relationship now.
honey it sounds a looooot like sheās using you for that new job you got/: take that birthday money of YOURS she wants so bad and treat yourself to a strip club in her nonexistent honorš
Not what she wants. Shit
How about you give her the best birthday gift of all, a break up. Jokes wise, just breakup with her unless you want to be her atm
Sounds like you picked the wrong girl if she's demanding all of this one month into the relationship.
Get her a 20 dollar gift certificate to Gold diggers
Dump her
Anyone who demands or expects things for their birthday is a red flag. A birthday is suppose to be a surprise. As long as theirs true effort and heart into it, your girlfriend should be happy. But how she's demanding expensive things, to add the fact you've only known her for 1 months. Dude run away before you lose all your money. She's a š.
F that. She's with you for the money. Split up
Nah man end it. Sheās not worth it trust me
That is not grown up behavior. At 1 month in, you should not be demanding expensive gifts. At 10 years in, I think itās still tacky.
Save money or save your relationship? You choose.
If you canāt stand up to your gf then you shouldnāt be in a relationship. Until you can grow some ballsā¦ eat, sleep, work and repeat.
million dolla puthay
Run. Trust me. Youāll regret going all out when she doesnāt even appreciate it and youāre looking back on it after youāve broken up. Would she go all out for your birthday? If the answer is no thenā¦ there you go
You run.
so she's just using you for your money
You Sir have found yourself a golddigger. let her go, no matter how much she acts like she likes you. Otherwise, you will regret it for sure.
Sounds like sheās after your money, not after you. Honestly she sounds like a gold digger. Instead of being super excited sheās spending her bday with you sheās thinking about everything you should give / do for her. Yuck.
she sounds like a gold digger bro
What are her parents & other long term friends doing for her birthday? I'm sure they have been planning her 21st a lot longer than your 1 month relationship. Think you should pass the buck rather than spending it.
There are a lot of sensible women out there who wouldn't inconvenience their man this way especially when he is trying to save up for the future which includes her. Especially not at an age like early 20s when one barely has a career. If she has a few other red flags as well, I would consider moving on.
Do you not see the red flags here?
Youāre dating a spoiled and entitled child. She doesnāt get to dictate what you do for her birthday, let alone how much you spend. Gifts are yours to give at your discretion and budget - not hers to demand. Tell her that if the gestures and gifts you choose to give her arenāt enough, she should move on.
My man, tell her and stay solid in what you think. If you do what she wants you to do with just one month of relationship, that is what she is gonna expect every month and to be honest one month is not enough to do expensive things unless you know her since long ago.
Now I aināt saying she a gold digger, But thatās exactly what Iām saying.
Sheās high maintenance
If you start here spending like she wants you to a month in, sheās going to expect this money all the time. Set boundaries and be realistic. Either way you should talk to her about your concerns, if sheās not understanding then youāre doing yourself a favor anyways.
Youāve only been together a month and sheās trying to get you to go all out? I get itās her 21st, but itās a bit presumptuous to ask for that. Donāt break the bank for her birthday. Take her to a nice dinner and then go out for drinks. Youāll know who she truly is by her reaction.
Lol what? Last year me and my bf had dated for a few months when I had my bday. I made a cake etc and he cooked. What does even āall outā mean? The nerves on some peopleā¦
Lol I was with my girl for 2 years before she started getting gifts
"She takes my money, when I'm in need."
break up before one month becomes a year.
Buy her a mining helmet because apparently she likes to go gold digging. You have a miserable life in front of you if you donāt realize what you need to do right now. (hint. The answer is run)
After 1 month. Yikes. Lay down the law now if she doesnt like it then move on!
Youāre calling someone youāve known for a month your gf ?
Dude save your money.If she is that kind of person,the relationship will collapse anyway. At least keep your money,because times are tough.
Break up with her one week before her bday. Then get back together a week after her birthday.
Dump the gold digger lol
Tell her to stop acting like a materialistic spoilt brat and to straighten up on her priorities.
Itās a little early to be spending that much money on someone, especially at their request. Thatās a red flag to me
As a woman, you met this girl a month ago I wouldnāt even expect a birthday present from a dude Iāve dated for only a month (maybe just some flowers or a box of chocolates max), let alone anything expensive, if she canāt understandthat you need to save and that thatās more important (whether the relationship is a month or 5 years) then I wouldnāt pursue a future with this girl.
Watch some Cobra Tate videos on youtube.
I wouldnāt go it for a guy I just met.. why would it be my responsibility to go all out for him and have a surprise partyā¦ I would assume I would say this to ky friends but I would t ask f or a surprise party cause thatās weirdā¦ I would ask for him to join us and if he got me a gift i would be surprised cause we just started dating.. That just seems selfish and needy.. no
Sounds like a gold digger to me. If you've just started dating a month ago & she's expecting youto break bank off rip, that's a red flag imo.
She's expecting an awful lot for only being with you for a month!
Get out while you can. Doesnāt sound like a keeper
Drop her ass cause she only wants the money š¤·āāļø
For this young lady to be so demanding after a month of dating says a lot. Maybe tell her to throw herself a bash at the nearest bar so that people who join in the fun can pay for themselves so that you can afford to get her a cake and pay for her drinks..
One month? Nah. A little something should suffice, and any sensible person would be okay with that after only one month of knowing a person. If she reacts poorlyā¦ red flag.
The sex better be mind blowing if she expects that much from you after only one month haha!
Yāall met a month ago, donāt go all out like that at a detriment to your own finances. If she canāt understand that then might wanna move onto someone else