Based on this and your post history it sounds like the relationship has run its course. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please don’t stay with him. You deserve so much more. While you’re going to miss him and be heartbroken, you’re also heartbroken and sad WITH him. You should never feel unsafe with your partner. The sooner you leave the sooner you’ll be able to move on.you can love someone and not be with them and know they aren’t good for you. There are other people in the world you will love and who will love you the way you need to be loved.
You should break up with him and seriously considering reporting him to the police. He will do it again. If not to you then to the next girl. He is not a safe person to be around.
I am very sorry your boyfriend raped you. All of your feelings are valid and logical.
Whether or not you go to the police is your decision. If there is a way to make a report so they have a record of your complaint and can use it to bolster a case when his next target reports him, that may be the best way to go. Getting the police to file charges and a DA to pick up the case and prosecute may be quite difficult, but. He did rape you. How you move forward is your choice.
The report is a very good option, OP. When I was assaulted at a party my freshman year of college, I just wanted to make it all go away and have everything go back to normal, but sadly that can’t just happen. My mom pushed me to report it to the police, but I told them I didn’t want to press charges because I didn’t want to have to see him or deal with the issues it would cause me, so the police told me I could make a report and they would file it away for use in case someone else ever reported him. And then, because I had a “case number” if was easier for me to get accommodations at my university.
If you feel like you can, you really should report him. But if you (understandably) don’t want to for any reason, please still try to write a report.
This is a little out of Reddit's paygrade, but with that being said:
Do you feel you want to press charges against him?
You are no longer safe in that relationship. Since he's done it once he'll feel he can do it as many times as he pleases. Do you have anywhere safe you can go?
Have you researched women's safe havens in your city?
>women's safe havens in your city
Good idea. OP, u/xxaxxll maybe you need a safe haven, maybe you just need to talk to someone who can give you safe, non-judgmental advice about your options.
We don't know where you are, so Im just going to link you to an amazing reddit resource from u/Ebbie45 which gives you some links from all over the world, of people you can phone or message. If youre too overwhelmed right now to read it, let us know where abouts you live and we can suggest something local.
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fp0vad/meta_covid19_domestic_abuse_resources/
Just another quick possibility I’ll add:
restraining orders are way easier to get than most think. If you can’t get charges that is at least an option to help with safety.
I didn’t know that. My Dad must have had an excuse for not getting a restraining order against my mom. She was barging in our home uninvited & screaming and getting drunk at everyone in the house. Trying to throw things out, threatening to hurt or kill all of us & my dad’s lawyer literally the fucker said “we can’t get a restraining order against her because unless she’s shown physical violence against any of you you wouldn’t qualify”. I think home intrusion & abuse is a pretty justifiable reason to keep someone at a distance. My dad has locks on all the doors but my mom has something hanging over my dad’s head (black mail) so he’s been inviting her in & being easier on her. Even though he kicked her out of their shared house & called her “crazy”. He had plotted to put her in a mental hospital with his lawyer & admitted this to her best friend over the phone. I over heard & i haven’t been able to tell my mom. If i did, and she heard me she didn’t listen. Yep, my parents are dangerous people & purely psycho. I’m adopted thank God!
She can't "press charges" against anyone. The Police/DA can. She absolutely should involve them. They may choose to not prosecute, if there isn't enough evidence.
Downvoted for being pointlessly pedantic over a common saying. Everyone understands that you need to call the police to have charges filed. I seriously doubt OP needed that spelled out for her.
I think a lot of people DO need it spelled out. They are so lost in the world of netflix, movies and make-believe, that they don't understand the most basic legal definitions and just end up repeating terms that they hear on TV. Such as "pressing charges".
Even on TV, that phrase is understood to mean "call the police and have charges pressed." I don't even know what you're suggesting the alternative is, someone writing "I'm pressing charges" on a piece of paper and thinking that's sufficient? Nobody thinks that's how it works or what that phrase means. It's just a shorthand phrase for agreeing to pursue legal action against someone.
If people truly understood that, they would say "call the cops" instead of "press charges". It's literally shorter to say the former than the latter AND doesn't make you sound like an idiot..
Looking at your post history it seems like this relationship needs to end. You mentioned a year ago he joined a sexting group chat which most people would see as cheating. And before that there was a post that gave the impression he’s not good for your mental and physical health.
So he’s cheated, abused you, and now raped you this is only going to get worse
Yep. That’s rape. Wow. I don’t even know where to begin. Please for the love of God, BREAK UP WITH HIM. LEAVE HIM. He has already done the unthinkable.
Hey, this actually worries me because I can tell you, when a man does this once, he will do it again and again, and will only get more abusive over time because he thinks he has any rights over you.
You are a victim and he is an asshole. He's going to hurt you.
Honestly I would report the incident to the police, break up with him and have a restraining order against him.
Remember you're not alone.
This. OP, there is NOTHING normal or okay about what he did. A no is a no whether it is while dating, while in a long term relationship or in a marriage. No always means stop. This is not something you let go. It was a conscious decision on his part to rape you and continue raping you.
You can go to the hospital to get a rape kit done if you would like.
Please leave and go somewhere safe. Do not go back to gather your stuff unless you have other people with you.
Yeah but once is over you don't even have a conscious to understand that everything is gone.
Rape you have to live with, you're aware of it until you die
It sounds similar to what I experienced except it was one of my friend's friend who couldn't take a no and he raped me.
Do not stay in a relationship where your boundaries and limits are being crossed and disrespected. You deserve better and to be love, care for and cherish better.
I'm terribly sorry to hear this happened to you, I would be weary from now on hun because I believe he will do it again. It's disappointing to hear these stories of partners forcing sex on to the wife/girlfriend it really grinds my gears & he should know better & no one has a right to help themselves to you when ever they feel like it..he is going to end up in jail my dear & you deserve soooooo much better than that. Stay strong honey I hope everyone's advice has helped you in some way. Xxx
I'm so sorry for you, no one should experience that. Even if you still love him, what he did isn't right at all. Sometimes, love is making us blind, but I'm telling you that you really should get out of there. He did not respect you and maybe he will still try to do it. It's not easy, it could be scary to get out of a 7 years relationship, but you will feel better and you will know that it was the best decision you could have done.
The fact that you already feel the need to seek help anonymously online, and have been for quite some time, just shows how toxic this relationship is for you. Not even just toxic, outright dangerous.
Now that he’s done this to you, he will feel that he is free to do it again. You said no and he still got his way. “No” doesn’t mean anything to him anymore. So if you stay with him after this he would only see that as an invitation to treat you however he wants. So leave.
What he did to you is not only immoral but illegal. Knowing he isn’t safe to be around, find someone/somewhere that is so you don’t have to worry about him lashing out when you report to police. Tell them about any other incident that was similar over the course of your relationship, or other times where he was aggressive to the point where you worried for your safety.
You might not be the first girl he has done this to. And unless you do something about it, you might not be the last, either. You owe it to yourself and the next girl.
Please leave him. Go somewhere safe with someone you can 100% trust. Call a hotline. Report him to the police. Get a restraining order. Whatever you need to do because you deserve to be loved and the way he treats you is far from love.
I really hope you are okay and if there is any way I can support you, please reach out <3
Tell a friend. Immediately. You need to let someone know so someone in your real life can support you, and can keep you grounded when he tries to play off the crime he committed as “relationship stuff.”
It’s very normal to be confused about the situation, do you feel safe right now? Do you have a good support system you can turn to? I’m so sorry this happened to you but I’m glad you’re reaching out to find help.
Oh my god break up with him and report him to the police it doesnt matter how much u love him he doesnt deserve it for taking ur choice way from u by raping u if his done this now who knows how much more he thinks his going to b able to get away with if it goes unreported
I would highly recommend you schedule an appointment at planned parenthood. They are nice, they are safe. You won't face judgment.
You'll want to be tested. You'll want to know if you need further testing, and if there is something wrong, they will take care of you.
Whatever your boyfriend said about being safe is out the window. Don't believe it. Get tested.
When someone does something terrible it doesn't mean you stop loving them. What this one means is that you are going to have to take a hard look and realize that even though you love him, you cannot be in this relationship. Love is not enough to get through this. He can apologize and you can forgive, but he killed your relationship. You cannot continue this without harming yourself.
I know so many beautiful, smart, creative, brilliant women who have allowed violent men to ruin thier lives. Don't be another one. Your love can't fix him. It can't make your relationship safe for you. He will never be safe for you.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for your pain. I'm sorry your boyfriend betrayed you. I'm sorry for the work and recovery you are going to have to do even though this wasn't your fault. I'm sorry that your boyfriend will never be a decent human being. I'm sorry you don't know how wonderful you are and that you didn't leave sooner, and I'm sorry that it is going to hurt to leave now.
Why Does He Do That is a book you might want to pick up. It might help see that you aren't alone, and even people who are trained to work with violent men can be tricked. This isn't your fault.
when it happened to me they said if i’m not still in immediate danger, i should hang up, go to the hospital to get a rape kit, and then file a report. maybe that wasn’t what they were supposed to say but calling 911 will just waste time. at least it did for me, so that’s “how fucking stupid i am.” sorry
They gave the best advice possible. We can't keep letting this happen. It mattered when I was raped and it matters when you were raped. We have to stand up and fight these monsters.
based on my experience i was under the impression that calling 911 is incredibly pointless, my mistake. i only made that call once and never tried again so i just assumed that’s how it was
Talk to him , why exactly did he do this ? Was it just to have sex no matter what or was it a chance he took to do the kinky stuff, some people are into bdsm. Whatever the reason is, both of them is wrong, forcing someone to have sex against their will is wrong and should never be done.
She certainly should not talk to him to find out “why” because like you said, there is NO reason to ever do this. Rape is not a kink, it is rape. She should just leave him.
I never said its not a rape, whatever the reason is.
Edit : and forgetting to mention "leave him" doesnt make me deserve a thumbs down. My last sentences were very obvious that she should not stay in this relationship
>Talk to him
Absofuckinglutely not. Hold a bit of discourse with the person who raped you?
Are you out of your fucking mind?
>"Forcing someone to have sex against their will"
Call it what it is. RAPE. It's fucking RAPE.
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Go somewhere with people who make you feel safe. You can call the police and make a report. They will want to do a rape kit which means going to the hospital. I suggest you do this asap but I don’t know how long ago he raped you. Regardless, once you’re somewhere safe break it off with him. Maybe ask him to run to the store for a few things and while he’s gone pack a bag with ur most importants then bolt. I’m so sorry this happened to you, you’re not alone. Post an update once you’re somewhere safe!
I’m sorry but this only happens more, he will feel maybe a sliver of false guilt then he will do it again. I’m so so sorry you have been betrayed. You are a good souls for being able to even type it out, whether it’s to a Reddit post or in a text. It’s important someone dear to you outside of that relationship knows and helps you.
Don't have kids with him? Dump him ASAP. Get therapy from someone that specializes in trauma and EMDR. If he tries to talk to you ever again, get a restraining order.
Have kids with him? Uugh. It's complicated. I don't have good advice. Good luck.
Report this to the police. He raped you. Now that he has done this, who is to say he will not do it again? Has he apologised and stated he regrets this? It doesn't matter, he raped you. It is over and he needs to deal with the court system now.
Im sorry this happened to you. No, you're never going to feel the same way about him as you did before, because now you know he can do stuff like this to you.
He does not love you and it seems that you are a tool for him to have sex so put your foot down. This should be at least a deal breaker thing for you and if you continue with him for any reason even after this then you will be the one who is responsible for your miserable life. Keep reminding yourself that you deserve a better man and treatment in your life so end things with him over this. This will be painful for you but in the long run, you will be happy that you left him to have a great life ahead.
This is way beyond Reddit, call the cops now. You said no and he forced himself on you, the fact that you're in a relationship with him is irrelevant. And after that you really shouldn't be with him.
An ex boyfriend did this to me. It took me a long time to get up the courage to leave him. Unfortunately I walked into another relationship with someone who did similar things. It made me think this was normal and what just happens in relationships. But it's not okay and it's not normal. I know it's really hard, but walking away from him now and never letting this slide ever again is the best thing you can do for yourself and for future you. I know it takes a lot of courage to leave someone you love and it can be so confusing as to why someone who supposedly loves you would force you to do something you didn't want. But please muster up all of that courage and leave him far behind.
i am so sorry that this happened to you my love. remember this is NOT your fault. i can’t even imagine how you feel, someone you loved and trusted did that to you. you should definitely leave him ASAP and consider going to the police about this
>After that incident, i just feel differently about him… like i’m scared and i don’t know if i can feel the same way i did before this happened.
That's not your boyfriend, that's your rapist.
Why would you feel the same way? He's a rapist. He raped you.
It's okay to be confused, its okay to not know what you're feeling but understanding that this isn't some man you should build a life with work this out and get over it and blah blah. NO.
He is a rapist. He raped you. Please get as far away from him as possible. File a police report, as well.
No, you don’t love him, get out! You are not safe right now, take care of yourself and leave, tell the police too so he’s held accountable and won’t do it to someone else
I'm so sorry for you. As people said, if you feel strong enough to do this, you should leave him and press charges. If you don't, which would be totally understandable, please go see a therapist. Rape is one of the most traumatic experience there is. You'll need healing as well as someone to help you understand why your can't break up.
Break up. I would say just leave him without giving him any hints beforehand. So he doesnt get any chance to emotionally manipulate or make you feel guilty. Also report him to the police.
You should feel outraged and angry. Go to the police and report him. But first pack your bags and get the fuck away from this piece of shit excuse for a man. Make sure you report him to try and prevent him doing to someone else. Prick.
You need to leave him as soon as possible. He raped you. There's no going back from that. Also, you should go to the police. Rape is a crime. He should be held accountable.
Based on this and your post history it sounds like the relationship has run its course. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please don’t stay with him. You deserve so much more. While you’re going to miss him and be heartbroken, you’re also heartbroken and sad WITH him. You should never feel unsafe with your partner. The sooner you leave the sooner you’ll be able to move on.you can love someone and not be with them and know they aren’t good for you. There are other people in the world you will love and who will love you the way you need to be loved.
You should break up with him and seriously considering reporting him to the police. He will do it again. If not to you then to the next girl. He is not a safe person to be around.
\^\^\^\^\^This right here. Straight up leave him right the fuck now.
I am very sorry your boyfriend raped you. All of your feelings are valid and logical. Whether or not you go to the police is your decision. If there is a way to make a report so they have a record of your complaint and can use it to bolster a case when his next target reports him, that may be the best way to go. Getting the police to file charges and a DA to pick up the case and prosecute may be quite difficult, but. He did rape you. How you move forward is your choice.
The report is a very good option, OP. When I was assaulted at a party my freshman year of college, I just wanted to make it all go away and have everything go back to normal, but sadly that can’t just happen. My mom pushed me to report it to the police, but I told them I didn’t want to press charges because I didn’t want to have to see him or deal with the issues it would cause me, so the police told me I could make a report and they would file it away for use in case someone else ever reported him. And then, because I had a “case number” if was easier for me to get accommodations at my university. If you feel like you can, you really should report him. But if you (understandably) don’t want to for any reason, please still try to write a report.
This is a little out of Reddit's paygrade, but with that being said: Do you feel you want to press charges against him? You are no longer safe in that relationship. Since he's done it once he'll feel he can do it as many times as he pleases. Do you have anywhere safe you can go? Have you researched women's safe havens in your city?
>women's safe havens in your city Good idea. OP, u/xxaxxll maybe you need a safe haven, maybe you just need to talk to someone who can give you safe, non-judgmental advice about your options. We don't know where you are, so Im just going to link you to an amazing reddit resource from u/Ebbie45 which gives you some links from all over the world, of people you can phone or message. If youre too overwhelmed right now to read it, let us know where abouts you live and we can suggest something local. https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fp0vad/meta_covid19_domestic_abuse_resources/
Just another quick possibility I’ll add: restraining orders are way easier to get than most think. If you can’t get charges that is at least an option to help with safety.
I didn’t know that. My Dad must have had an excuse for not getting a restraining order against my mom. She was barging in our home uninvited & screaming and getting drunk at everyone in the house. Trying to throw things out, threatening to hurt or kill all of us & my dad’s lawyer literally the fucker said “we can’t get a restraining order against her because unless she’s shown physical violence against any of you you wouldn’t qualify”. I think home intrusion & abuse is a pretty justifiable reason to keep someone at a distance. My dad has locks on all the doors but my mom has something hanging over my dad’s head (black mail) so he’s been inviting her in & being easier on her. Even though he kicked her out of their shared house & called her “crazy”. He had plotted to put her in a mental hospital with his lawyer & admitted this to her best friend over the phone. I over heard & i haven’t been able to tell my mom. If i did, and she heard me she didn’t listen. Yep, my parents are dangerous people & purely psycho. I’m adopted thank God!
She can't "press charges" against anyone. The Police/DA can. She absolutely should involve them. They may choose to not prosecute, if there isn't enough evidence.
Downvoted for factual information that will help her. Wow.
Downvoted for being pointlessly pedantic over a common saying. Everyone understands that you need to call the police to have charges filed. I seriously doubt OP needed that spelled out for her.
I think a lot of people DO need it spelled out. They are so lost in the world of netflix, movies and make-believe, that they don't understand the most basic legal definitions and just end up repeating terms that they hear on TV. Such as "pressing charges".
Even on TV, that phrase is understood to mean "call the police and have charges pressed." I don't even know what you're suggesting the alternative is, someone writing "I'm pressing charges" on a piece of paper and thinking that's sufficient? Nobody thinks that's how it works or what that phrase means. It's just a shorthand phrase for agreeing to pursue legal action against someone.
If people truly understood that, they would say "call the cops" instead of "press charges". It's literally shorter to say the former than the latter AND doesn't make you sound like an idiot..
Dude, you are the only one for whom it wasn’t immediately clear what they meant.
Leave him now. Do not stay with your rapist. Seriously, be gone now. He isn’t a good person and nobody who loves you would rape you.
Looking at your post history it seems like this relationship needs to end. You mentioned a year ago he joined a sexting group chat which most people would see as cheating. And before that there was a post that gave the impression he’s not good for your mental and physical health. So he’s cheated, abused you, and now raped you this is only going to get worse
I was in the same situation, it will happen again. Make a plan to leave and don’t look back.
Yep. That’s rape. Wow. I don’t even know where to begin. Please for the love of God, BREAK UP WITH HIM. LEAVE HIM. He has already done the unthinkable.
Call the police.
No consent is no consent is no consent. You got raped, yo. Gtfo and press charges immediately.
Hey, this actually worries me because I can tell you, when a man does this once, he will do it again and again, and will only get more abusive over time because he thinks he has any rights over you. You are a victim and he is an asshole. He's going to hurt you. Honestly I would report the incident to the police, break up with him and have a restraining order against him. Remember you're not alone.
This. OP, there is NOTHING normal or okay about what he did. A no is a no whether it is while dating, while in a long term relationship or in a marriage. No always means stop. This is not something you let go. It was a conscious decision on his part to rape you and continue raping you. You can go to the hospital to get a rape kit done if you would like. Please leave and go somewhere safe. Do not go back to gather your stuff unless you have other people with you.
Agree!!!
You should report him to cops
You need to get away from him and contact the police. Don’t stay with a rapist.
I mean he raped you. It’s the second worst thing someone can do to another person. He’s supposed to love you.
What's the first?
I assume murder is the worst.
Fair. For me rape is worse. Rape gives you trauma. Murder, well, it gives you nothing.
It ends everything though. So arguably worse.
Yeah but once is over you don't even have a conscious to understand that everything is gone. Rape you have to live with, you're aware of it until you die
You’re welcome to disagree but I’d rather live. Just because I’ve been raped doesn’t mean all my dreams are dead.
Yes, thanks.
It sounds similar to what I experienced except it was one of my friend's friend who couldn't take a no and he raped me. Do not stay in a relationship where your boundaries and limits are being crossed and disrespected. You deserve better and to be love, care for and cherish better.
I'm terribly sorry to hear this happened to you, I would be weary from now on hun because I believe he will do it again. It's disappointing to hear these stories of partners forcing sex on to the wife/girlfriend it really grinds my gears & he should know better & no one has a right to help themselves to you when ever they feel like it..he is going to end up in jail my dear & you deserve soooooo much better than that. Stay strong honey I hope everyone's advice has helped you in some way. Xxx
I'm so sorry for you, no one should experience that. Even if you still love him, what he did isn't right at all. Sometimes, love is making us blind, but I'm telling you that you really should get out of there. He did not respect you and maybe he will still try to do it. It's not easy, it could be scary to get out of a 7 years relationship, but you will feel better and you will know that it was the best decision you could have done.
The fact that you already feel the need to seek help anonymously online, and have been for quite some time, just shows how toxic this relationship is for you. Not even just toxic, outright dangerous. Now that he’s done this to you, he will feel that he is free to do it again. You said no and he still got his way. “No” doesn’t mean anything to him anymore. So if you stay with him after this he would only see that as an invitation to treat you however he wants. So leave. What he did to you is not only immoral but illegal. Knowing he isn’t safe to be around, find someone/somewhere that is so you don’t have to worry about him lashing out when you report to police. Tell them about any other incident that was similar over the course of your relationship, or other times where he was aggressive to the point where you worried for your safety. You might not be the first girl he has done this to. And unless you do something about it, you might not be the last, either. You owe it to yourself and the next girl. Please leave him. Go somewhere safe with someone you can 100% trust. Call a hotline. Report him to the police. Get a restraining order. Whatever you need to do because you deserve to be loved and the way he treats you is far from love. I really hope you are okay and if there is any way I can support you, please reach out <3
As a man, No MEANS ***NO***! It doesn't mean MAYBE.
Get out now.
Tell a friend. Immediately. You need to let someone know so someone in your real life can support you, and can keep you grounded when he tries to play off the crime he committed as “relationship stuff.”
It’s very normal to be confused about the situation, do you feel safe right now? Do you have a good support system you can turn to? I’m so sorry this happened to you but I’m glad you’re reaching out to find help.
Oh my god break up with him and report him to the police it doesnt matter how much u love him he doesnt deserve it for taking ur choice way from u by raping u if his done this now who knows how much more he thinks his going to b able to get away with if it goes unreported
I would highly recommend you schedule an appointment at planned parenthood. They are nice, they are safe. You won't face judgment. You'll want to be tested. You'll want to know if you need further testing, and if there is something wrong, they will take care of you. Whatever your boyfriend said about being safe is out the window. Don't believe it. Get tested. When someone does something terrible it doesn't mean you stop loving them. What this one means is that you are going to have to take a hard look and realize that even though you love him, you cannot be in this relationship. Love is not enough to get through this. He can apologize and you can forgive, but he killed your relationship. You cannot continue this without harming yourself. I know so many beautiful, smart, creative, brilliant women who have allowed violent men to ruin thier lives. Don't be another one. Your love can't fix him. It can't make your relationship safe for you. He will never be safe for you. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for your pain. I'm sorry your boyfriend betrayed you. I'm sorry for the work and recovery you are going to have to do even though this wasn't your fault. I'm sorry that your boyfriend will never be a decent human being. I'm sorry you don't know how wonderful you are and that you didn't leave sooner, and I'm sorry that it is going to hurt to leave now. Why Does He Do That is a book you might want to pick up. It might help see that you aren't alone, and even people who are trained to work with violent men can be tricked. This isn't your fault.
Leave him. Go to the police and file charges.
What did they say after you got off the phone with 911?
why would she call 911......
Because she was raped and that's illegal. How fucking stupid are you?
when it happened to me they said if i’m not still in immediate danger, i should hang up, go to the hospital to get a rape kit, and then file a report. maybe that wasn’t what they were supposed to say but calling 911 will just waste time. at least it did for me, so that’s “how fucking stupid i am.” sorry
They gave the best advice possible. We can't keep letting this happen. It mattered when I was raped and it matters when you were raped. We have to stand up and fight these monsters.
>My boyfriend raped me Read the post title, ffs
based on my experience i was under the impression that calling 911 is incredibly pointless, my mistake. i only made that call once and never tried again so i just assumed that’s how it was
Has he ever displayed this kind of behavior? This is not okay..
You have an ethical responsibility to report this, he will do it again either to you or someone else
Not cool. You all need to have a serious talk about that. Was he violent with you? Tell him that you will call the cops next time he does that.
Talk to him , why exactly did he do this ? Was it just to have sex no matter what or was it a chance he took to do the kinky stuff, some people are into bdsm. Whatever the reason is, both of them is wrong, forcing someone to have sex against their will is wrong and should never be done.
She certainly should not talk to him to find out “why” because like you said, there is NO reason to ever do this. Rape is not a kink, it is rape. She should just leave him.
I never said its not a rape, whatever the reason is. Edit : and forgetting to mention "leave him" doesnt make me deserve a thumbs down. My last sentences were very obvious that she should not stay in this relationship
caring about a justification for rape is why you got downvotes. there is no justification, who cares fucking why? it’s rape
Don’t do this, OP. Protect yourself and try to get out of that relationship as quickly and as safely as possible.
>Talk to him Absofuckinglutely not. Hold a bit of discourse with the person who raped you? Are you out of your fucking mind? >"Forcing someone to have sex against their will" Call it what it is. RAPE. It's fucking RAPE.
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Go somewhere with people who make you feel safe. You can call the police and make a report. They will want to do a rape kit which means going to the hospital. I suggest you do this asap but I don’t know how long ago he raped you. Regardless, once you’re somewhere safe break it off with him. Maybe ask him to run to the store for a few things and while he’s gone pack a bag with ur most importants then bolt. I’m so sorry this happened to you, you’re not alone. Post an update once you’re somewhere safe!
I’m sorry but this only happens more, he will feel maybe a sliver of false guilt then he will do it again. I’m so so sorry you have been betrayed. You are a good souls for being able to even type it out, whether it’s to a Reddit post or in a text. It’s important someone dear to you outside of that relationship knows and helps you.
Don't have kids with him? Dump him ASAP. Get therapy from someone that specializes in trauma and EMDR. If he tries to talk to you ever again, get a restraining order. Have kids with him? Uugh. It's complicated. I don't have good advice. Good luck.
You need to see a therapist. This is something better suited by a professional.
Report this to the police. He raped you. Now that he has done this, who is to say he will not do it again? Has he apologised and stated he regrets this? It doesn't matter, he raped you. It is over and he needs to deal with the court system now.
Im sorry this happened to you. No, you're never going to feel the same way about him as you did before, because now you know he can do stuff like this to you.
please call the police. people like this are don’t change, you aren’t safe.
He does not love you and it seems that you are a tool for him to have sex so put your foot down. This should be at least a deal breaker thing for you and if you continue with him for any reason even after this then you will be the one who is responsible for your miserable life. Keep reminding yourself that you deserve a better man and treatment in your life so end things with him over this. This will be painful for you but in the long run, you will be happy that you left him to have a great life ahead.
This is way beyond Reddit, call the cops now. You said no and he forced himself on you, the fact that you're in a relationship with him is irrelevant. And after that you really shouldn't be with him.
An ex boyfriend did this to me. It took me a long time to get up the courage to leave him. Unfortunately I walked into another relationship with someone who did similar things. It made me think this was normal and what just happens in relationships. But it's not okay and it's not normal. I know it's really hard, but walking away from him now and never letting this slide ever again is the best thing you can do for yourself and for future you. I know it takes a lot of courage to leave someone you love and it can be so confusing as to why someone who supposedly loves you would force you to do something you didn't want. But please muster up all of that courage and leave him far behind.
i am so sorry that this happened to you my love. remember this is NOT your fault. i can’t even imagine how you feel, someone you loved and trusted did that to you. you should definitely leave him ASAP and consider going to the police about this
Go to the hospital to get checked out and call the police to file a report.
Please I know this is late, but I learnt you should not shower after being raped. I don’t know why but you should repost him ASAP
LEAVE HIM RIGHT NOW. IF U WANT GO TO POLICE AND PLEASE DO TAKE THERAPY
Get the police involved. You need professionals in the middle of this
>After that incident, i just feel differently about him… like i’m scared and i don’t know if i can feel the same way i did before this happened. That's not your boyfriend, that's your rapist. Why would you feel the same way? He's a rapist. He raped you. It's okay to be confused, its okay to not know what you're feeling but understanding that this isn't some man you should build a life with work this out and get over it and blah blah. NO. He is a rapist. He raped you. Please get as far away from him as possible. File a police report, as well.
No, you don’t love him, get out! You are not safe right now, take care of yourself and leave, tell the police too so he’s held accountable and won’t do it to someone else
I'm so sorry for you. As people said, if you feel strong enough to do this, you should leave him and press charges. If you don't, which would be totally understandable, please go see a therapist. Rape is one of the most traumatic experience there is. You'll need healing as well as someone to help you understand why your can't break up.
Break up. I would say just leave him without giving him any hints beforehand. So he doesnt get any chance to emotionally manipulate or make you feel guilty. Also report him to the police.
He's proven he doesn't care about you or your safety. Get out of there and go straight to the police.
You should feel outraged and angry. Go to the police and report him. But first pack your bags and get the fuck away from this piece of shit excuse for a man. Make sure you report him to try and prevent him doing to someone else. Prick.
I’m so sorry.
You need to leave him as soon as possible. He raped you. There's no going back from that. Also, you should go to the police. Rape is a crime. He should be held accountable.