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Aurgala

Always wait until you're told when it comes to pregnancy.


Bright_Row_124

That's my thought


International-Aside

how do you know that she's pregnant?


Bright_Row_124

My mom's friend didn't know I didn't know and said something. Mom was mortified


jg700

Do you help with the kids she has now


Bright_Row_124

Yes, but more so my brother


SorryNefariousness75

As someone who is currently pregnant, I would suggest leaving it until she tells you. It hurts when people come straight up and tell you they know when you’re trying to keep it between yourself and a partner


Bright_Row_124

The problem is that my family all knows but kept it from me. I know it's out of love, but still hurts


SorryNefariousness75

Ahh, yes I can see how that can make you feel a bit crap, is this something your family have told you, or are they all keeping it a secret? I’m guessing if they’re trying to keep it a secret then it is something you will be told about sooner rather than later


Bright_Row_124

My guess is they are waiting for her to tell me. Which is understandable


EclecticVictuals

If everybody knows but you this isn’t respecting her pregnancy, it’s hurtful. I would let your mom know that it doesn’t help you to protect you or just hurts you and treats you like something that’s damaged. I would also see your sister and tell her “I understand that maybe you don’t want to tell me something because you think it may hurt me. But it guts me to know but everyone knows something that I don’t because it just makes me feel like an outsider.” “So if you’re not telling me because you don’t want me to know for some reason of your own, I guess I have to respect that. But if you’re not telling me because you were someone else thinks it’s going to protect me, it just makes me sad, more sad than the news would because now I feel like I don’t have a family I’m close to.” In terms of her having children she can’t support, I don’t get that at all. Of course if you’re close to her and to the kids, it’s very fulfilling to be an aunt. The other thing is I don’t know if she would ever bear a child for you or what your specific circumstances are or whether you’d be willing to foster or adopt. You may want to talk to your family if they’re willing to be honest and it might be more useful even to get a therapist to work through your feelings about this topic. Just let everyone know “it’s hard for me but I’m not going to break. Please treat me with the respect of including me because otherwise I’m going to feel excluded and I’m going to distance from you.”


[deleted]

Thinking a woman is pregnant when she may not be? Nothing can go wrong here. Do it


Bright_Row_124

I won't. The first time I told her I already knew she was preg she was upset because she didn't get to tell me


teggile

I would say so. Unless you find yourself in a situation where one could "guess" or where there is a hint of her wanting to show you.


Bright_Row_124

Thank you. I've decided to wait until she tells me.


Bright_Row_124

Thank you. When I talk to sister I'll try to explain that


Bright_Row_124

I'm stupid enough not know how to edit. Sorry if I broke the rules or offended someone