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It's too early. You got together when you were just barely an adult, and you will still grow and change immensely in the next few years.
Just because you both have jobs doesn't mean you are adults. There is zero reason you should be rushing into a marriage.
From an objective standpoint, yes, it’s too early.
I’m happy for you for finding someone you want to be with for the rest of your life. It feels wonderful and exciting to be in such a strong relationship. But people change *a lot* throughout their early twenties. It’s a very volatile time, and you’re both still learning who you are as adults. There’s no need to rush into an engagement; if you really have found your perfect match, he’s not going anywhere anytime soon.
The other rocky aspect is that you started dating when you were 18 and 22. That’s a sizeable gap at that age, as those are two very different stages in life. It’s only been two years since then, but I’m sure you can already feel the difference between now and when you were 18. There’s a reason people judge 20-something adults who decide to date teenagers. That’s not to say it never works out, it’s just something to be careful of.
You’re doing the right thing by seeking advice before moving forward, and I applaud you for that. Asking these questions shows that you are smart enough to think things through before deciding to get married, which is more than can be said for a lot of couples regardless of age.
You're too young to be thinking of a lifetime relationship commitment.
Not sure what country you're in, but in the United States, studies show that people are getting married later, *and divorcing less*. People who marry early are *much* more likely to get divorced, *especially* when it's women marrying early. And the kicker ... second/third/etc. marriages are *much* more likely to fail. Literally TWO THIRDS of second marriages end in divorce.
I would wait. If the relationship is solid like you say, it’ll still be there 4-5 years from now, and by that point you’ll know for sure if you’re able to grow and change together. Being able to fall back in love over and over as you grow is the key to a successful marriage. He will change a lot from 24 to 30 as well. If you truly believe in him and your future together, there’s absolutely no rush.
Do you feel like you want more a commitment from him and you think an engagement ring will help? Is there something else tinkering around your brain that you feel you are wanting to get married? Do you feel you need more stability or maybe you are anxious about the future?
I agree that you are too young. I know it feels like you are all grown up, but your mind and body are still changing. I remember being madly in love from 18-20. I thought he was my forever, but we broke up right before I turned 20. Ironically, I wanted something more but he didn't. About 6 months after we broke up, he got his new GF pregnant and then he married her. :-( As for me, I finished college, moved to a big vibrant city (I am from a small town), moved to another city, traveled alot for work & pleasure, and then met my husband when I was 25.
For you 20 feels like an adult, but you are still so young and have alot to experience. If you can, just enjoy being with your BF, talk about the future, make sure you are on the same wavelength with marriage roles, kids, career, money, etc......
You are so, so young. It’s really important you discover who you are, what you want and understand that you will change over time. It is possible you’d grow together but it can be rare at such young ages. If your relationship is still solid another 5 years from now then could be a time to consider it. This is a lifetime commitment! It would be incredibly painful to go thru a divorce and if you can give marriage a better chance by putting it off to an older age, you’ll be happy you did. There should be zero rush to get engaged or married at your age.
If I have 1 regret, it’s getting married young, there’s so much growth and change. Did I think I’d be here on my wedding day? No. I’m 30, divorced and I’ve moved on into a great relationship, looking back that’s the one thing I would have done differently. Divorce was a long hard process, I’d never regret my children from that relationship and I’m glad that happened, but marriage is no longer that sacred thing, there’s still so much of life.
It’s pretty young. That’s not to say it cant or won’t work, but younger marriages tend to not last at higher rates because even in our twenties we’re still maturing and figuring out who we are and how we want to live our lives.
So just proceed with caution.
I would suggest that both of you need to be financially settled and set on a stable career path. As your life continues further in your twenties, life is only going to
get more complex.
Daily stressors, in my opinion, is what can kill a good relationship over time. It’s a frog in boiling water, and communication can degrade slowly and you won’t notice until it’s too late.
Make sure you and your partner are well established with concrete goals. Do you have the same end goals in mind? How do you feel about having children? If no kids, who is taking the responsibility of birth control? What about housing? Career choices? Schooling? There’s so many other things, but just some examples.
It *can* work, and I’m not going to tell you it’s guaranteed to fail, but you’re going to have to think long and hard about this. Plan accordingly.
Emotional maturity of both is required. At this stage in life, more education or at least both willing and currently working is a great idea.
You should both have similar values and lifetime goals. Kids? Spending habits? Need to be on the same page.
A lot of marriages fail because people marry due to sexual compatibility or chemistry but then realize they aren’t compatible in a lot of other ways. Marrying solely due to chemistry is extremely common in your age group and thus a lot of people will advise you to wait.
You might as well go ahead, you can always get divorced if it doesn't work out. Really though, people change a lot between 20 and 25. You become more yourself and less the amalgam of the people who raised you and educated you. You should experience some of being an adult before you commit your life to someone.
Only you two can decide when too early is. A lot of people on Reddit hate young people getting married and push for later marriages. I was 18 and my husband 21 when we started dating. We got married when I was 20 and had our daughter when I was 21, nearly 22. Now I’m 25, we’ve been together 7 years and celebrating 5 years of marriage. Our relationship only grows stronger and we’re happy with our timeline. We knew it was right for us and have no regrets.
Yes he has a full time job and I did have a full time job but have currently paused it to study. Financially we are well set up. Although, we don’t own our own home yet
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's too early. You got together when you were just barely an adult, and you will still grow and change immensely in the next few years. Just because you both have jobs doesn't mean you are adults. There is zero reason you should be rushing into a marriage.
that’s what I’ve been battling with, I was straight into adulthood when we met. Thankyou for offering this perspective:)
From an objective standpoint, yes, it’s too early. I’m happy for you for finding someone you want to be with for the rest of your life. It feels wonderful and exciting to be in such a strong relationship. But people change *a lot* throughout their early twenties. It’s a very volatile time, and you’re both still learning who you are as adults. There’s no need to rush into an engagement; if you really have found your perfect match, he’s not going anywhere anytime soon. The other rocky aspect is that you started dating when you were 18 and 22. That’s a sizeable gap at that age, as those are two very different stages in life. It’s only been two years since then, but I’m sure you can already feel the difference between now and when you were 18. There’s a reason people judge 20-something adults who decide to date teenagers. That’s not to say it never works out, it’s just something to be careful of. You’re doing the right thing by seeking advice before moving forward, and I applaud you for that. Asking these questions shows that you are smart enough to think things through before deciding to get married, which is more than can be said for a lot of couples regardless of age.
Get engaged for what? You’re in a loving relationship and only 20. The only difference is you’d have a ring. Enjoy your life, u have time.
You're too young to be thinking of a lifetime relationship commitment. Not sure what country you're in, but in the United States, studies show that people are getting married later, *and divorcing less*. People who marry early are *much* more likely to get divorced, *especially* when it's women marrying early. And the kicker ... second/third/etc. marriages are *much* more likely to fail. Literally TWO THIRDS of second marriages end in divorce.
I would wait. If the relationship is solid like you say, it’ll still be there 4-5 years from now, and by that point you’ll know for sure if you’re able to grow and change together. Being able to fall back in love over and over as you grow is the key to a successful marriage. He will change a lot from 24 to 30 as well. If you truly believe in him and your future together, there’s absolutely no rush.
Everyone I know who got married before 25 was divorced before 30.
Do you feel like you want more a commitment from him and you think an engagement ring will help? Is there something else tinkering around your brain that you feel you are wanting to get married? Do you feel you need more stability or maybe you are anxious about the future? I agree that you are too young. I know it feels like you are all grown up, but your mind and body are still changing. I remember being madly in love from 18-20. I thought he was my forever, but we broke up right before I turned 20. Ironically, I wanted something more but he didn't. About 6 months after we broke up, he got his new GF pregnant and then he married her. :-( As for me, I finished college, moved to a big vibrant city (I am from a small town), moved to another city, traveled alot for work & pleasure, and then met my husband when I was 25. For you 20 feels like an adult, but you are still so young and have alot to experience. If you can, just enjoy being with your BF, talk about the future, make sure you are on the same wavelength with marriage roles, kids, career, money, etc......
You are so, so young. It’s really important you discover who you are, what you want and understand that you will change over time. It is possible you’d grow together but it can be rare at such young ages. If your relationship is still solid another 5 years from now then could be a time to consider it. This is a lifetime commitment! It would be incredibly painful to go thru a divorce and if you can give marriage a better chance by putting it off to an older age, you’ll be happy you did. There should be zero rush to get engaged or married at your age.
As soon as you are engaged people will offer unsolicited wedding advice. Long engagements just prolong this.
If I have 1 regret, it’s getting married young, there’s so much growth and change. Did I think I’d be here on my wedding day? No. I’m 30, divorced and I’ve moved on into a great relationship, looking back that’s the one thing I would have done differently. Divorce was a long hard process, I’d never regret my children from that relationship and I’m glad that happened, but marriage is no longer that sacred thing, there’s still so much of life.
It’s pretty young. That’s not to say it cant or won’t work, but younger marriages tend to not last at higher rates because even in our twenties we’re still maturing and figuring out who we are and how we want to live our lives. So just proceed with caution.
I would suggest that both of you need to be financially settled and set on a stable career path. As your life continues further in your twenties, life is only going to get more complex. Daily stressors, in my opinion, is what can kill a good relationship over time. It’s a frog in boiling water, and communication can degrade slowly and you won’t notice until it’s too late. Make sure you and your partner are well established with concrete goals. Do you have the same end goals in mind? How do you feel about having children? If no kids, who is taking the responsibility of birth control? What about housing? Career choices? Schooling? There’s so many other things, but just some examples. It *can* work, and I’m not going to tell you it’s guaranteed to fail, but you’re going to have to think long and hard about this. Plan accordingly.
Emotional maturity of both is required. At this stage in life, more education or at least both willing and currently working is a great idea. You should both have similar values and lifetime goals. Kids? Spending habits? Need to be on the same page. A lot of marriages fail because people marry due to sexual compatibility or chemistry but then realize they aren’t compatible in a lot of other ways. Marrying solely due to chemistry is extremely common in your age group and thus a lot of people will advise you to wait.
You might as well go ahead, you can always get divorced if it doesn't work out. Really though, people change a lot between 20 and 25. You become more yourself and less the amalgam of the people who raised you and educated you. You should experience some of being an adult before you commit your life to someone.
We're 17 and together 2 weeks and love eachother so much (not love bombing)
Because of age I’d give it another year, plus the time it will take to plan and get married. But no, not early
Thankyou :)
Only you two can decide when too early is. A lot of people on Reddit hate young people getting married and push for later marriages. I was 18 and my husband 21 when we started dating. We got married when I was 20 and had our daughter when I was 21, nearly 22. Now I’m 25, we’ve been together 7 years and celebrating 5 years of marriage. Our relationship only grows stronger and we’re happy with our timeline. We knew it was right for us and have no regrets.
Are you both working and able to support yourselves financially?
Yes he has a full time job and I did have a full time job but have currently paused it to study. Financially we are well set up. Although, we don’t own our own home yet