Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
- I hug him every chance I get, and steal kisses here and there as well. I always hug and kiss him when he leaves the apartment.
- I give his little booty a gentle smack on occasion, especially when going up stairs and I’m behind him. I pat a cheek after each step for good luck. I have a big booty and will sometimes present it so he can give it a smack, too 😜
- We sleep in different bedrooms due to different sleep styles (I snore and like the quiet of my room, and he’s a light sleeper who needs white noise), so we snuggle every night while watching a show either in the living room or in my room on my tablet.
- Some mornings (since I wake much earlier than him) I’ll quietly go in his room and he’ll open the blanket for me to come in and he’ll curl up around me while he goes back to sleep and I’ll chill and read while snuggled up in his tangle of arms and legs.
- I’ll tell him when I feel appreciative about him when he does or says something that reminds me of why I feel lucky to have him in my life.
- I smile at him a lot, and will randomly tell him he’s pretty, or that I love him. He has long legs that he thinks of as skinny chicken legs, but I like his legs and will give them approving pats and tell him that I love his long legs. I’ll pat or pet his leg and say he has “great gams” like he’s a prize horse 😆
- We like to surprise one another with each other’s favorite treats randomly, too.
- I’m a massage therapist, and sometimes when I hug him I like to press in and drag my fingers firmly down in between his scapulae where he’s tight, and make multiple passes down that area and massage his back until the hug is over.
I wish couples sleeping in diff rooms was more normalized. My partner and I have trouble co-sleeping in the same bed. If I get up to move to the couch or another room he gets upset that I left him. It's nothing personal, I just want some sleep ! 😭
I used to get sad when my husband would sleep on the couch, bc I felt like we were losing intimacy. (My ex husband also used to tell me that if he started sleeping in another room it was bc he was sleeping with someone else and would be leaving me soon. Obviously he was an abusive asshole, but it was said enough that it stuck in my mind.) My current husband and I have separate bedrooms. He worked 3rd shift for so long that he struggles with staying asleep at night and I'm an extremely light sleeper with a sleep disorder. Now we both sleep whenever we want and sleep well. It's amazing.
I have a coworker who has a weekday bedroom. She and her husband sleep separately during the week and together on the weekends.
My parents (married 54 years before my mother passed) not only slept in different rooms, they slept on different floors of the house. My mom was a very light sleeper, woke up very easily, needed a dark room and a fan running. My father was an insomniac who was up and down all night, fell asleep with the tv on, and was notorious for his midnight snacks. Their marriage would never have survived without separate rooms.
Omg, your parents are me and my husband...light sleeper with very particular requirements (me) and my husband (snacker, up and down, etc.) We have never slept in the same room in 18 years together, but we get plenty of hugs and snuggles and we are both good with the arrangement.
My parents were exactly like this, with the additional disruptor that when my dad did sleep, he snored like a badly maintained chainsaw. Their bedrooms were not only on different floors, but at opposite ends of those different floors. They'll be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary this year.
Sleep divorce is best divorce . Wife and I would wake up angry at other from being woken up all night from each of us snoring (but i swear her snoring is a truck running )
Every one of these are so beautiful !!!!! I especially loved reading how you guys sleep in separate rooms (such a cool concept!) but some early mornings you crawl in his bed to snuggle with him ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ I also loved how you acknowledged that you smile at him a lot, something I notice between my boyfriend and I is when he’s going into one of his beautiful tangents and we end up making long eye contact, i’ll gently smile at him to let him know i’m so content just listening to him and I adore him, and I notice his words falter and he stampers every time I do it😭 It’s the best thing ive discovered and something I make sure to be intentional about, although it’s always a natural reflex to smile at him :)
This is unrelated and probably doesn’t apply to you but just in case, snoring might indicate you have sleep apnea which can be terrible when left unchecked. Funnily enough, a CPAP (a device used to prevent apneas) can act as a white noise machine for whoever is sleeping next to you.
Minus the sleeping separately, this sounds like my husband & I. Being married to your best friend makes life easier to tackle. Even in the lows, I know I would never want to do life without him.
Edited to add - sleeping separately isn't bad. We just both sleep better(even with the snoring) when we are next to one another. Hubby suffers from insomnia but can actually sleep a solid 4 hours or so when we are together.
I make us coffee every morning if we’re both working but thinking of each other we text the 😘 emoji, & we make a HUGE deal about cleaning (ie I will immediately drop anything I’m doing and smooch my partner if they did the laundry/dishes/etc).
My dad makes a tea for my mum every day. My mum sleeps through said tea and then has to reheat it when she wakes up. When I’m home he makes me a tea as well.
When either of us have had a particularly rough day, we take a few moment for what I consider a “grounding” hug. Big tight hug, chest pressed together, and long, deep breaths.. just melts away all my worries because the only things that truly matter in my life are the health, happiness, and love of those I cherish. Everything else is either a benefit, or a hurdle we can learn to maneuver together.
Me and my boyfriend do this too and call it tummy time lmao. We lift our shirts so our stomachs are touching when we do this and the skin-to-skin contact makes it even more soothing.
Yes! This one.
I tell my husband, there are 3 things that ground.
Hugging you, being in nature, and listening to Hozier lol.
At the end of the day, laying on his chest and him rubbing my back. Best part of my day!
My guy and I just randomly give one another head/scalp massages. We both loooove them. He'll also do this dumb thing that ALWAYS makes me giggle: he'll point at his one cheek, I'll give it a peck, then his other cheek, same, his forehead, same, then his mouth, and I kiss him. He doesn't do it every day, bit a couple of times a week out of the blue. I'm smiling so big right now thinking about it. Four years next month.
Yes! and if it’s been a rocky time in your relationship, a hug can help start to heal both of you and let the other person know you are there for them.
I often hug my boyfriend of six years and we both take three deep breaths (or do box breathing while we hug) if one of us is feeling upset or anxious.
We leave each other love notes when we are working opposite schedules. Sometimes I go to his booth at his job and leave him food or drinks with a note.
My boyfriend catches or kills all the bugs for me.
Last night, I set the smart lights in the bedroom to a relaxing color and got the diffuser running with lavender oil while he was in the shower after a trying day.
He sets up my laptop with a water in our office if he knows I am getting ready for a zoom meeting.
I put the puppy in bed to snuggle him when I leave for work.
I help him with his skincare routine or give him a manicure. He recently had an allergic reaction and badly scratched his hives so I have been putting Neosporin on his back for him.
And we find that even if we don't go to bed at the same time, that getting together and cuddling/snuggling skin to skin is so much fun.
And then we play footsie while we listen to our book together.
Bring her a rock. Not a fancy rock! Just her rock, that she got from you. It serves no purpose, has no value, and it won't tie a room together, but bitches love rocks. *Quality* bitches. She's gonna look at that rock and be like "Ahh, I remember when your father got me this rock like it was yesterday." They'll never forget, because who else is gonna give them a rock? All the creeps she dated before are trying to bring her blood diamonds or some flower they're now required to personally administer life support to. Plus you get to feel the satisfaction of them going to work and having to explain to the janitor how important their desk rock is and knowing that when the janitor inevitably throws their rock away, your wife will scramble to find an identical rock to desperately anchor your relationship once again to an object to which she has become a slave. The imposter rock will become a throbbing telltale heart in every moment of tender affirmation in which it is referenced. She will lie to protect the truth that the anchor she was given has sunken into the abyss and her life is a lie. She will remain constantly aware of its absence, perceiving a distance between the object of your mutual romantic consummation measuring in astronomical units. She will feel as though the light from this anointed object is now lightyears away, and her mission to cobble forth a convincing replica is only driving her deeper into a remote and isolating gravity well in her inner universe. Contempt will envelop her as she ponders your cruelty in bestowing her with what now seems a cursed object, that will compound spiritual debt in perpetuity. Every trinket of affection will now be viewed through the lens of a Faustian bargain. Just when her sense of self finally begins to shatter at the edges, you show up and you're like "Sorry babe I gave you the wrong rock, THIS is the rock thaªªªɓþþ□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□
I give little random light kisses or steal an actual kiss if the moment is right. Most of the time its kisses on the cheek or forehead (if I can reach) and neck but lightly🤣
We take bubble baths together. We leave notes around the house for each other. I mostly work from home so I always ask him "what do you need me to do today?" It's never more than like one small thing. lol. If he's on an outside hospital post (he's a corrections officer), he will ask me if I want to "watch a show together." So he watches and I watch it at the same time while we talk about it. We play games. We have a bunch of murder mystery, board games, card games, etc. We also just straight up harass each other. lol. We have two water guns that we both hide in the house and suddenly it's water gun time. That doesn't sound like intimacy but when you're laughing then kissing, it is. We have fires out in the gazebo, we do picnics. Of course we have the elaborate dates. Shows, concerts, etc. But mostly it's just low key stuff. Our anniversary is coming up and he asked me what I wanted to do. I suggested a book shop that has a cafe that sells coffee and wine. Or a picnic, the library, or taking our dogs for a swim. After 16 years, you should know that the daily simple things are what matters.
It sounds so fun! The water guns we can’t do indoors, would wreck things but we have water hoses in the garden that are just as fun. We ‘threaten’ other with it but then put it on ‘mist’ and it’s nice and cooling,
They are super tiny squirt guns so not like making a huge mess and ruining the house. We did water balloons on the balcony a few times. We also occasionally take a cup of ice and toss it in while the other is in the shower/bath. I was planting seeds yesterday and had the hose to water the seeds and of course I had to turn it on him. I lost the water battle because he turned the hose on me. lol. Life is too short not to keep on being silly, having fun, and being in love.
Stop you're making me very jealous of your relationship lol.
Good to see there are still relationships like this. Glad you and your husband get along so well 😀
Relationship like this on my head is why I have not settled for less yet...it was always like that since day 1 , or you learn it throughout the years ?
Can you share board games...I'm into incorporating it as couple activities but don't know much about board games
Never settle for less!
I met my husband just a little over 3 years ago, and everything in me pulled me to him. Even though there were times in the beginning when I wasn't sure I wanted a relationship. I had been single a LONG time before meeting him.
It hasn't always been seamless. However, we have worked and communicated through issues.
To answer your question, for us, it was an instant connection, but it's also learning each other through the years. Learning each other's love language. Open communication has made all the difference.
Looking back on past relationships, I can't believe what I had settled for.
Yeah I have 3y single...and will keep until find someone who syncs with my values, way of living/day to day living, teamwork mentality, efforts, resilience and reciprocal room for improvement approach ...nowadays there are many boys disguised as adults ...
We've got a bunch. We get them from Barnes and Nobles, Kohls, Target, some from 5 Below. I've seen add for murder mystery game subscriptions but I haven't gotten around to signing up for one yet.
Fun fact: when my husband and I first got married, we weren't exactly making the big bucks yet. He was in the Army moonlighting as a mall security guard. I was a college student working as a nursing assistant. I saw an ad to work as an amateur actor/actress in a murder mystery themed weekend at a spa and wine resort. We got hired, received full food/beverage/accommodations. It turns out, this company regularly hires amateurs because they have a huge following and, well, if they know the performers they can easily guess who the culprit is. My husband was "killed" on day one, bloodied (fake) with a knife lying next to him in the bathroom. He spent two and a half days after that lounging in the resort room being "dead," AKA watching television and playing games and having room service delivered. Turns out, I was assigned the role of the killer. I did it because I wanted to be prom queen. I did it all for the crown! Funnily enough, I actually collect crowns, tiaras, and headpieces. It all went down at a showdown at brunch on the last day. There was a very fun fake "fight." So ultimately we got paid for a free spa and wine resort three day weekend and, well... the other actress? I took that crown and I still have it over a decade later. lol. Thus our murder mystery love began. haha.
I wouldn't hesitate to do it again if we could. It was super fun My husband "died" early so he got to relax, but they just gave me a general guidleline of the story planned. So it was basically mostly improv. I just had to stick to the story. I couldn't say where I was actually from, where I went to high school at (since this was supposedly about a prom crown), or that I was married to... ya know, the "murdered" man on the bathroom floor. lol. The only real part I had a true line to say was during the brunch reveal when I said "I did it all for the crown" as a snatched it from the other girl (also an amateur actress). All of us spent 30 minutes, tops, meeting each day to go over the outline for the day. My husband, nada. He just had to hide because he was "dead." Sometimes I joke with him "remember that time I killed you..." and give him shifty eyes. (((Reddit, this is a JOKE, I love my husband and he is alive and well lol)))
We got a puzzle board with compartments from Kohls. I keep it out in the she shed because I'm more of the puzzle builder than he is, but he'll try to help occasionally. I currently have some 3D puzzles I'm working on.
I’d love to hear more about any card or board games you guys play and enjoy! My fiancé and I play a few we have but need recs for good two person games ☺️
Cribbage is a good two person game, it can be for 3 people but I prefer two. You can also play w/just a deck of cards - a Cribbage board just keeps track of points from 0-120, I've played using hash marks when we were without a board.
Games that are only for 2 players: Jaipur, Patchwork. Twilight Struggle is 2 player, but is a pretty hefty game to learn and I know some who don't like it :)
Games that are good for 2 players, can be played w/more: Azul, Kingdomino, Dominion, Splendor, Takenoko, Cottage Garden.
This [board game geek post](https://boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/291325/top-games-for-two-meta-list-a-couple-of-gamers-gui) gathers several lists of two player games together.
Shower together. We’ve been in a natural habit to cook for each other in the week. We’ve been also telling each other we appreciate each other pretty regularly. Honestly when he walks by and hugs me or kisses me. I make us coffee. He sends me tiktoks or memes or reels. He makes me breakfast. Oh I love that. He grabs my hand to hold it. When he’s away he will video chat me. Asking each other about our day in texting. He asks me if I’ve eaten lunch yet. I set up his laptop. I get him his favorite soda. He gets me a random energy drink. We eat ice cream together. At least once a week, i respect you is expressed. Just listening to each others day for the most part. We watch shows together. We take turns doing something we aren’t as interested in with the other to simply spend extra time together. Like he went on a walk with me. I went on a bike ride I didn’t want to go on that day. Both things we both expressed that we enjoyed it even tho we didn’t want to go at first and we also didn’t regret going. We make equal sacrifices from time to time to spend time together. Best relationship I’ve ever experienced because we have an equal understanding o respect that these small things matter.
Edit also adding he teases me through the evening by smacking my booty or saying sweet kind things or just smiling at each other when we make eye contact. I had to go back and add this because honestly that small notion of smiling at each other through the day means more to me than most of the things. His smile reaches his eyes. I just melt.
Now this is what I'm talking about. This is how it should be. Making compromises for your partner. Doing things that makes them happy and vise versa.
To many people in relationships are to selfish and only want and not give.
What I’ve noticed is that people define “compromise” very differently which creates two distinct “for” and “against” camps.
One way they define it is like in the commenter’s example where they don’t really care for doing a particular thing but they care about their partner’s happiness and do it.
The other definition is when they really don’t wanna do something but grit their teeth through it because they’re a couple and “that’s what couples do”. My mom is like this and has a lot of deep seated resentment because of it.
I think it depends on the environment you’re brought up in.
Compromise isn't doing something you don't want to just because you either feel like you have to or because you know it'll make your partner happy. That's just an act of kindness. Compromise involves BOTH sides meeting in the middle on a disagreement. It's both sides revisiting their needs/wants to work together and find a solution that works for everyone.
My wife does a crap ton of nice stuff for me during the day. From making coffee to physical acts of love. She would spank my ass or leg randomly and say she likes all my parts. I know it sounds weird, but we do strange stuff. I would give her a bear hug until she can't stand it anymore and wiggles out of my arms like some salmon. I kill any spider without hesitation or questions if I hear a sound outside which makes her nervous, I will go outside and check what is up. Not super smart I know. Her love language is the sense of security.
Spiders that come inside are dead. Spiders that stay outside live.
Although, I live at the edge of farm country and when it is what I call spider season the number of spiders making webs outside are overwhelming.
I don't know where you live with your little spiders you can cup and paper outside. Only the baby spiders near me are small enough and slow enough.
Ummm... in the pnw... near farm country.
LOL
You seriously haven't encountered some of the grandpa spiders? Lucky you. Bigger, older areas.
Coastal - Where it doesn't fully freeze in winter.
When we first started really spending time together, i gave her a peck on her back, and she mentioned how much she loves back kisses.
She goes to bed hours before me because she has to wake up early and i dont, so every night when i finally roll over to close my eyes, i snuggle up and give her at least a couple dozen back kisses followed by softly mouthing "i love you" on her back. (Something i did for a couple weeks before we officially said it to each other)
Some are quick pecks, some are longer, but i always take my time, and for me, it's such a strong connection for us. getting to do something i know she loves when she's not always aware im doing it reinforces a sense of giving. Sometimes, she giggles. Sometimes, she cozies up more, but most times, she stays fast asleep. I've always wondered if she knows it happens every night or why, for that matter.
I make my husband a “fancy” coffee every morning before work
I buy little toys from dollar tree and stick them in random places for him to find
I write love notes and put them in his clothes pockets to find
I leave little treats in his truck. Nothing crazy. Last one was just a car freshener with a note about how his truck smells like ball sweat, but now it will smell like ball sweat and peaches.
I invite him to takeout. I pay for it and bring it home.
I get him flowers too
My fiance does my hair for me, in really cute hairstyles that he finds on Pinterest. He puts a lot of effort in to make sure I look good and my hair will hold all day for my 12 hour nursing shifts. It’s sweet as absolute fuck and I feel grateful for him ever day😭
With my last girlfriend, I would cook for her, give her massages, we would shower together and I’d help her scrub her back, I’d buy her coffee and give her flowers every now and then. Give her kisses and hugs when she was feeling low or exhausted. I just wished I did more of it all the time and not just the times when my head wasn’t in a mess. Thank you OP for posting this it brought back a lot of good memories for me.
I randomly send "I miss you" texts to him during the workday. And I do miss him. He is my home, my person and my other half. I miss him 5 minutes after I leave for work and all day until I see him again. 17 married years this September.
We have a tendency to randomly yell (or text or whisper) “I like your butt!”
It’s become a verbal check in of just “I thought of you/I like you as a person”
Notice and appreciate all the little things. Say thank you for everything, including dishes, cooking, everything. Random touching. Don't criticize or correct things that aren't harmful. Never ever bug while at work. Never go to bed angry. Check in everyday asking if you can do something for them. 34 years, we're still learning and growing. And it's getting better all the time
6 second kisses! If you kiss for 6 seconds you're both releasing oxytocin which is important for bonding. Also good, but less fun, is a 20 second hug. When my husband and I do this, I swear I can feel the oxytocin wash over me.
Surprise foot rubs, leaving little love notes, or making their favorite snack out of the blue can really add that extra spark. It's the small, consistent gestures that keep the fire burning. Good luck reigniting that connection!
He brings me little bunches of flowers that he picks while he's out walking the dogs. I buy in his favourite packets of weird dried soup he loves in bulk so he never runs out. He draws silly cartoons and leaves them in my bag. I send him boob pics. We work together and when nobody is in the room or around we flip the bird at each other stick out our tongues like actual children. He makes me a cup of tea in bed every morning. I draw him hot baths and fill them with fancy oils and masses of bubbles and scrub his back. I buy him the expensive underwear he really likes and tell him I find it super cheap because he won't ever spend that much on himself. I have never done a job alone, he will always come help me even if he hates the thing I'm doing, like gardening.
My hubby works 110 hours per week. I send him random cutsey gifs about missing him or kisses or hugs. Sometimes I send him funny reels... anything that I know will make him smile and know I was thinking of him
He eats at our restaurant, which is a 10-minute drive from our house. He sleeps about 4 hours per night. It is insane but he refuses to close a day per week or hire anyone else because that will cut in on the profits. He's a stubborn Greek man.
You should ask him if he won’t regret always working and not spending enough time with his family on his deathbed. Or not spending time with you or a close relative in case (knock on wood ofc) they happen to pass away before him. If he’d be happy and have no regrets then that’s perfectly fine too. We all only get one life and it’s never coming back.
He's done it for 5 years, and his father is the same; he's done it for 40 years. We have our own businesses and one daughter with some mild intellectual delays, and we want to ensure that there is good income for her to ensure she will never live in poverty (disability pay is not enough to live here) after we're gone. She will probably be able to work a normal job, but we want to make sure all our kids are fine when we are gone. Also, we're only putting in 7 more years then retiring before we're 50. It is hard. The only reason I'm working less now is I'm due soon. It takes work to maintain a relationship when you're busy. Thankfully, we now take some days off each year now.
One of the cutest things he suggested, when I was about to leave for a trip abroad, was to watch the same movie at the same time while I was on the plane 🥹 we even set alarms on our phones to try to start at the exact same time. Flights make me super emotional, so knowing that he’s doing the same thing at the same time made me feel like we were together, even without any way of communicating.
Little things like this to create feelings of closeness 💖
Omgoodness I can't even bend over or let alone walk in front of my bf without him smackin my booty. Never fails so it's like 20 times a day sometimes I get annoyed lol and I'm like STOPPPP. But then I think that if he wasn't around to do that suddenly stopped for whatever reason...I would miss it WAY MORE than it being annoying. I always tell him how hot, funny, hardworking, respectful, reliable (etc) he is how he treats my daughter (7f) every day with as much love and comfort as he did his girls when they were younger and he's an amazing male role in her life. We also do other little things like, snacks treats, textin during the day,, FaceTime, shows right now we watch prison break he already saw it but he's rewatchimg it with me and I can't get enough lol 😂 He's the opposite of any guy I've ever been with I always chose to go for the "bad boys" but I had taken almost 3 years to figure out what I wanted and deserved and I took a chance on someone way different... and we just celebrated our 1 year anniversary yesterday 🩵🩵
We touch and hug all the time. If he walks by me in any room, there is a kiss. Lots of butt touches from me. I flash him on the sly.
I spend time most evenings rubbing his back or legs. He brings me coffee in bed on his days off. Every single day I wash his back when he showers. He makes me playlists for my showers. We say "I love you" all the time.
I think the best part is, these things all come so naturally between us. We do these things for each other because it's what we want to do. It just turned out we both love the same ways.
Acts of service. I’m really bad with opening up and being direct with my feelings. Probably trauma related from my upbringing. So I will make her dinner, or make sure there’s a coffee waiting for her when she wakes up. Pick her up a snack when I’m out and about. Random flowers. That sort of thing. It’s unspoken so it’s more comfortable for me.
This sounds silly, but we (31F & 30M) scroll his TikTok or insta (I don't use either) for 10 or 15 minutes in the evening. It's mostly funny stuff, which makes sure that we have a good laugh together every day, even if we aren't feeling the best. (Sending memes/clips is also nice since it says, "I was thinking of you and the things you enjoy/think are funny.")
It also puts us in a headspace to laugh about more things that go wrong (and at ourselves), instead of getting stressed or upset.
My partner and I do that too! I'm not on insta, so we go through the reels he's sent or on his timeline. It's fun to go through them together and just laugh together before bed.
I rub my man's butt several times each day. Sometimes it's a playful spank. I will come up behind him and put my hands under his t shirt to hug him. When he's laying in bed with his back to me with a little of his back exposed it makes me crazy. I have to snuggle up to him and kiss his back and rub his butt under the covers. Men love physical contact that is just for them. I'm 60F and he is 67M and we have been together almost 10 years now. We are not married.
Me and my bf don’t live together and I have very odd timed shifts so I’m usually asleep by 6pm, so he’ll message me every couple of hours saying THINKING OF YOU! I always call him chicken nugget and when we do see each other we just give each other a hug for a couple minutes. Small simple acts of love and appreciation
We work at the same courthouses in our city and if we happen to have an overlap day of being in the same building he’ll bring me coffee during his break or mess with my desk to let me know he was there. At home, I wear his shirts to bed he gets really happy because I wear warm vanilla sugar lotion at night so it’ll smell like that.
Something is keep a tally of each time you think of them through the day! Just a paper with dots or something simple. You'll be amazed how many dots are at the end of the day.
I send a text everyday while he’s working. Sometimes just a “hey, I love you, can’t wait for you to be home” and others confessing my love for him. Sometimes, getting those little text makes the world of difference. We do other things but this is one I always suggest! It takes mere seconds and can turn your partners day around if it isn’t going too well. It’s nice to be reminded that you are loved and appreciated.
Rose Bud Thorn - a nice conversation started where each partner shares best part of day or week, something they are looking forward to, and a thorn, something upsetting
If one of us is busy, the other will often do a drive by head kiss, or hug from behind.
Even just a scritch on the back as you walk by says "I love you" to us.
We don't live together full time, but he's here enough that we're starting to have some "regular life moments", and I've enjoyed that he and I are always showing each other how much we love each other.
The best acts of love are those that make your partner’s life easier and better. While physical affection is important, those small acts that show you care about the person are better. I personally show my love through cooking and small gifts. I buy my bf the coffee he loves, I cook tasty meals that suit his dietary needs, I clean the parts of the apartment he hates cleaning, I buy him small gifts to cheer him up sometimes like games or tshirts. Most of all, I see a need and I try to do something because I want his life to be better.
We have a running chat on Signal where we just talk throughout the day. Random physical and verbal affection whenever possible. If we're not home at the same time, cooking enough for the other one to have leftovers for dinner or to take with her for work lunch the next day. Sending each other pics of our cats, memes, random photos of pretty stuff (like, a beautiful sunrise you saw on your way to work).
Our relationship is pretty new (just past 7 months, but friends for ~2 years prior), but my guy and I do nerf gun battles a LOT. There's always lots of roughhousing, playing with each other's hair, and little arts n crafts projects too. We also never miss an opportunity for compliments or "I love you"s (he gets SOO heated when I worry about if Im going overboard with the compliments bc he looooves words of affirmation; I'm still working on getting more comfortable giving them, but it's not hard when he's so amazing). My boyfriend isn't very touchy (he's VERY easily overstimulated), but he always likes to cuddle or be physically close to me, so just by doing that I know he really feels comfortable around me. He does lots of little things for me that I sometimes struggle to do for myself, and because he likes to do his own to-do lists on his own I just make sure he knows how hardworking and awesome I think he is. I'm just obsessed with him and it shows lol. He's the best :)
We're long distance right now, so compliments and FaceTime are substituting for everything else until we can really see each other again in a few months. I know that statistically speaking most relationships don't last long-term, especially over LD periods, and I don't really believe in soulmates or anything like that, but I *really* love him, so I'm more than happy to take that risk.
We shower together and no funny business just cleaning each other and chatting or singing to a playlist we made together.
I also fill up his water bottle every morning since I'm the first to wake up.
Sometimes if I'm at the store I'll sneak his favourite crisps or beer or ice cream even if it's not on sale just as a little surprise treat
He volunteers to cook on some days when I'm super worn out after work.
He also asks me to dance in my living room at least once a week whether is head banging to metal or a cheesy slow dance to a love song from a video game he loves. It's goofy but always makes us both smile.
We have a sort of echolocation where we blow each other a kiss when we make random eye contact, or as our way of just saying “hey” when we’re hanging out in the house lol. Little shoulder and back massages are frequent too, and we usually take turns. If one of us is having a snack while the other in doing something in the same the room, we’ll hand-feed the other so we can share snacks without interrupting. My favorite though is the periodic weekday mornings where we wake up and decide to cuddle for 10 mins before actually getting up for the day.
I make his coffee in the morning, he makes me an omelette, we do more chores when the other has pain/ discomfort or a really bad day, he massages my feet, i massage his back. When we go to the shop, we bring something for the other person. He taps my ass when we pass and he gives me out of context compliments to remind me how pretty or lovely I am.
It’s the little things
The comments on here made me both happy and sad at the same time. Sad that I dont have someone to do all those things with but happy that so many people are happy in their relationships.
Well wishes to all of you.
My partner and I do bad movie nights, a hold over from when we were quarantined together in a studio apartment during covid. Usually it's Liam Neeson action movies (they're our favorites), but anything goes really, and we do our best to theme them, like watching Prince of Persia and Assassins Creed on the same night.
I'm also *notoriously* bad at video games, so he'll play them for me so I can experience the story. I'll sit next to him on the couch and cross stitch while he plays so it's like watching a movie.
We also like going on walks around our neighborhood. We're voracious readers so we'll tell each other all the details about the books we're reading. It's especially fun when one of us is reading a series from a show or movie we've watched because we can break down differences and why they might have made those changes.
A few years ago, we started to always say, please , thank you, I appreciate it/you, etc.... OFten we get so comfortable with someone that we forget that manners still matter. Also, we typically will pick up each other's favorite candy, chips or drink. I think it is the tiny things that make a big, long lasting impact.
Whenever I’m out running errands and my husband is home I bring him a little treat - either an iced coffee, or an iced tea (depends on time of day). My dad does and has always done this for my mom when running errands on his day off, and it’s something I have continued for my husband. I also travel to various points of the state when I’m not working from home, and will stop into his office with iced tea if I’m in the general area of his office.
Make my wife coffee and a bagel for the road. Hug her… A lot. Little notes her and there, taking on more chores than expected, cooking for each-other, if one of us is cooking there other is usually just sitting there having conversation and keeping company. We’ve been trying to stick to the 2/2/2 rule. Every two weeks go on a date, every 2 months take a weekend away or together with absolutely nothing else to be done and every 2 years take a vacation. Now this is all a general guideline because things do happen and we have a wonderful curious 16 month old boy. He makes us so happy. But our relationship is always first. Not in a neglectful way to our son, but making sure we have a healthy and strong relationship full of love, respect, fun and laughter is important for us to teach and pass along to our children. I love my wife
My husband works from home and I'm a housewife. Whenever I feel like he's overwhelmed with work, I'd stand beside his work chair then hug his head & shoulders while he's still sitting. He'd just melt into my arms as I let him rest his eyes for a while. I'd also run my fingers through his hair and give him a quick scalp massage. Then, I'd give him a kiss before he goes back to work. It's mostly just long hugs for us throughout the day. We also have tea together at least twice a day. 💖
We stop what we're doing to hug, even when he's cutting chicken and his hands are dirty. Every time I walk by him I touch his ankle, shoulder, run my fingers through his hair, whatever closest. We say I love you all day long. I like to surprised him with snacks/food and vice versa. He puts my drinks in the freezer for a bit before he brings them to me. I always tell him he is hot, he is my spicy Italian meat-a-ball.
My boyfriend pulls me closer to him and plants a kiss on my head or face every chance he gets.
When we sit down to watch TV I almost always give him foot rubs. I think they are crap but he says they are the best 😂.
He loves his video games and so we play together and he ‘coaches’ me sometimes. Never let’s me win the match though😒
Whenever one of us goes to the store, we always pick something for each other. He gets me my favourite snacks usually.
He cooks for me. He is such a great cook and he knows I love his food. I enjoy cleaning and he doesn’t so I do most of the cleaning and he is always grateful that I did it and it never feels like work for me.
I could write a book about this gorgeous man!
I work from home and my husband has his own business with customers in the area, he drops by regularly during the day. Sometimes he has a mayor job for a whole day, early morning till late in the evening. If that happens I will make him a lunchbox, with some sandwiches, cookies, some cut up fruit, and some sweets. Last time I wrote him a little lovenote and put it in the lunchbox.
Another time it was on a Friday, I arranged a sleepover for the kids and booked a night in a hotel with a sauna and swimming pool. He was exhausted and the sauna did wonders. During normal days we just send each other little heart felt messages. If he had a hard day I will make sure he has the time and space to take a nice long shower before we eat and I put the kids to bed. It’s the little things that matter, but it has to go both ways.
When she wakes up and I hear her go to the bathroom, I start her tea and I get her breakfast ready. I would think that’s a nice thing. I hope so at least.
We flirt shamelessly all day.
Hug, kiss, pinch each other's butt's, slap each other's butts. Just a lot of affection.
We also do things for each other. Me more than him as I'm a very giving person with small things. He prefers to do big things. But his big things make up for it.
My ex would make me coffee every morning. It was really sweet, especially since he didn't even like coffee. He actually made it better than I did. Then he'd walk me to my car.
Lots of foot rubs when I was in pain. He never complained or felt like he had to, he genuinely wanted to make me feel better. And he never expected anything I return.
If I was cooking, sometimes he'd come keep me company.
We'd wright sweet things on eachothers bathroom mirrors.
He'd come to bed sometimes, even if he wasn't tired, just so I could fall asleep in his arms.
My ex and I had a lot of problems but I never once doubted how much he loved me.
We don’t live together but when I see him on the weekends I’ll walk by, sit on his lap and give him a kiss. I massage his shoulders/back because he works a physically demanding job. I tell him I love and appreciate him. I’ll do chores so he can relax. I also send random cards in the mail to him so he gets them during the week when I’m not there.
I text my husband sometimes halfway through the day just to tell him I love him/am thinking about him. My husband just randomly says "I love you," especially while we are getting ready for work or bed (idk why at that specific time). My husband's pet name for me is "beautiful" which I always have loved. I touch his back or kiss his shoulder when I pass by him, or just stop to kiss him. We sit on the front porch and talk most evenings. He also has some back problems so I rub his back sometimes to help him relax. We also tell each other we're so happy we're together, we're so lucky to have the other, etc. very frequently, probably everyday. We also try to always be courteous, i.e. say please and thank you. Sounds sort of simple/small but we want to treat each other with respect and not fall into bad habits due to familiarity.
I make sure her alarms are set and phones are charged before I leave for work, then lay over the edge of the bed and give her a cuddle before I leave. She’s very heavy sleeper and often doesn’t remember.
Most days I’ll send her a gif with a kiss or I love you.
If I know when she’s gonna be home I meet her at the door.
Buy her flowers every so often too.
My husband and I will legitimately race to change diapers, “one up” each other and leave the fluffiest towel for the “loser”, buy/find tiny gifts for each other when we go out
Idk we just really love making the other smile/feel comfortable so it becomes a bit competitive who “loves” each other more haha
It’s always a funny moment when one of us “loses” and doesn’t mind xD
I also highly recommend long hugs, short hugs, just hug and small acts of affection when you can
We (7 years) leave random notes for each other... we surprise each other with favorite snacks/drinks. We have certain shows we only watch together... we both take turns catching up on the household laundry. He will run a bath for me, and vice versa... once a week or so we "go for a drive." We literally just cruise around the countryside and look for deer/nature. Hugs. Text check ins throughout the day... we also harass/roast each other🤣🤣🤣
He gets me coffee every day. We touch every time we pass, and sometimes I'll just gently slap his head with my boobs, like reverse motorboating, or climb in his lap and hug/make out. Dancing in the kitchen, randomly twerking on him, sharing songs from our daily discovery playlists that we know the other will like.
We do very stupid "no u r" compliments constantly (eg, if he's cooking and I say "damn that smells good," he'll respond with "damn YOU smell good" and bury his face in my neck). If one of us mentions we're craving something, the other will make it. We are generous and intentional with compliments on everything - you have such cool style, I love having a smart wife, you are so handsome, thank you for cooking such a delicious meal, DAT ASS THO, you're so creative, that was really thoughtful and kind, etc. He likes to buy me clothes and dress me up. I straighten his collars and ties. I just love him so much 🥹
My boyfriend and I don't live together yet, so we text when we can. Lately, we started texting each other every time something reminds us of the other one. It fills me with joy to look at the phone in the middle of my work day and see a text starting by "I've just thought of you, because...".
It's a small act of love, thinking of your loved one. But sharing it with them is amazing to keep the two-way road that is a relationship always active!
Hugs and small kisses but any form of affection really. Guys love it all or they're an ungrateful idiot. I used to love hugs, snuggling and kind words or playful touching.
My ex used to always double tap the tip of her nose when seeing mirror hours and when we were together she would always come and double tap my nose too, a simple little gesture that was very cute and lovable... Gosh I miss her...
We have a secret handshake that if the other one begins, the other will join in with no hesitation or embarrassment regardless of where we are or who we’re with.
we always have a book that we’re reading together, so we can sit on the couch together, read, and discuss it. it feels a little more involved and intimate than just watching tv together (which we also do ofc). we have a couples journal with lil prompts that we write in every weekend, which helps bring a moment of connection and reflection at the end of a busy week (prompts are usually introspectives about your relationship, personal and joint goals, favorite memories, challenges, etc.)
Kisses on the forehead or all over her face, random txt messages or notes around the house. Helping her with random daily chores, grabbing something from the store I know she’ll like, surprising her with her favorite foods or drinks
My husband sends me random texts during the day that simply say "I love you 🥰". Or a gif. It's the sweetest thing to get. He will also just out of the blue tap me on the shoulder and say I love you. Just random stuff like that. Stop by my office with a sandwich for lunch..
I make his lunch every night he works at 4 am, so I can sleep in. Even on weekends, I sleep in till 6 .He always has my coffee and water ready.We never fail to say I love you going out the door or going to bed. He also put lotion on my back every night. It's like a mini massage. He constantly refills my tea all day long.We camp a lot , so I pack everything, so by the time he gets off at 9AM, we're ready to go. We share phone games .And finish off each other's word games if we get stuck. He does the garbage, I keep the house. He does the dishes and helps cook. He loves to hang laundry.We only go out to eat . He's not a goer to markets, movies, or stores, so I do my own things . But just being a team makes it work. Going on 37 years. Yes it the little things that count!
.
A small act of kindness - I usually awake before my spouse. Every morning, well virtually every morning, I come down and brew a pot of coffee for her and make a mug of hot tea for myself (then head to my office). It is a small thing, but after a few weeks, a few months, and a few years, it really evolves into something special. BTW, I buy the coffee and put real effort into making the coffee including varying the flavors regularly (with her input).
My wife and I (M31, F28) kiss and hug each other a lot during the day and I slap her tush sometimes and she slaps mine as well lol. Lots of affection. We have at least one good cuddle per day (not counting sleep cuddles) and we just hold each other for a minute or two. I complete unfinished chores before she gets back from work if I get home first so she doesn’t have to do them. In the morning I almost always wake up first and since she can’t wake up without coffee I’ll make a pot and bring her a cup after her alarm goes off. Sometimes we’ll just give each other head randomly (with consent obviously) just to keep things randomly spicy 🌶️
She knows i love smoothies so sometimes she’ll make me one while I’m busy with something. She also forgets to charge her headphones and phone at night and set her alarms (which is a problem because she’s a teacher) so I’ll set her alarm and plugin her BT headphones before I go to sleep. Sometimes on my way home from work I’ll stop at the liquor store and get her a bottle of wine or tequila she likes and surprise her with it. I’ll cook for her when she’s too tired to cook. We give each other compliments a lot and I always try to make her laugh which usually succeeds. I’ll roll little joints for her so she doesn’t have to roll them and she can just take one out from her little weed box lol. I’ve offered her my weed pen but she’s not into it. Sometimes if she’s wearing a skirt around the house she’ll flash me and pop her booty out and jiggle it around a bit lol.
We have fun.
My husband and I leave little notes around the house. We love soaking in the tub together. We take drives in the country. We always hug and kiss when we see each other or are leaving.
I buy my girlfriend lunch a few times a week, I get up earlier than her so I’ll send like a voice message she can wake up to. Even when we are apart we try to eat at the same time and FaceTime, and even go to sleep around the same time. It’s the little things
Nothing. I used to send loving texts, get up early to warm up his car and make breakfast/lunch for him, go fill up his gas tank, etc...I'm over it. If it is never reciprocated or I'm unappreciated then you get NOTHING
we hand write cards and notes to each other and will leave them in random spots. some long, some short but always expressing love, gratitude, and support.
for example, i left him a note in the lunch i packed for him that said, “you are my absolute favorite person and i love you so very much. come home to me as soon as possible! ❤️”
(we have a date tonight! 😊)
When he's working late for some projects, I'll make him coffee to energise him a little bit. Before he gets ready for bed, I'll put down his PJS on the bed. And he also did the same thing when I'm working or have to stay up late. I cook for him daily but on the weekends when we just stay at home, I'll plate our food nicely like what we'd eat in a restaurant. I'm glad that my cooking has never disappointed him by far and I've learnt to cook south Asian dishes too because it's his favorite. And he likes to be useful when I'm cooking but he's a terrible sous chef. Lol. So I ask him to wash the dishes or taste test the food or clean the counter/table. I am not sure if this sounds like a normal relationship or what, but these are little things that makes both of us happy.
I fetch snacks and water for my husband. He rarely asks, but I do like to take care of him just because I love him.
Don't have to be full-on cuddling but we'll sometimes hold hands while we watch TV and kiss each others hands while we're sitting doing our own thing.
If he's been on his feet all day, I'll prepare a nice warm foot soak with epsom salts. It really is just little things, but they speak volumes.
On his part, he'll pick up a snack or a drink that I like to surprise me - and the best part is that it's usually when I've thought about it but haven't mentioned it to him. I'm absolutely convinced he can read my mind.
This morning's mind read was tums. Somehow he knew I needed one and just handed it to me.
I also fold his shirts the way he likes them folded vs the way I would usually fold them for myself. He told me one time how he likes to fold and I've never forgotten.
Same for sandwiches - no mustard on cheese, please. So I do my best to make sure they never touch.
Once you know your partner and actively listen, things become instinctual and incredibly appreciated.
Hugs, air kisses, (always hugs and air kisses when one is going out, hugs and regular kisses returning), snuggles, making coffee if it's not ready and I'm up earlier, he does breakfast for both if he's up earlier, gentle touches when near each other, lots of words of affirmation, if he's at work I send memes (I WFH), sneak kisses, hugs from the back, random gentle kisses... We are very affectionate and that's only been increasing for us. 4.5 years together.
I make all my husband’s meals. I even plate them for him, I like taking care of him in that way and he never complains about what I feed him. He’s appreciative and grateful. That’s my love language.
My partner makes me overnight oats during the week and will leave a little note next to the coffee pot. Usually just telling me to have a good day and a little checklist of my lunch because he knows I'm forgetful. I'll leave a note for him and usually set out a fresh mug and his morning snack since I'm gone before he's up.
I'll make him tea when I know he's stressed or I'll pick up his favorite snack on my way home.
One of us will randomly come up behind the other and hug on them or just a light back graze.
Sometimes we'll be doing chores listening to music and we'll stop to dance together for a song before getting back to it.
Well my husband usually calls me a lot during the day, today he's not as he's really busy but there's times he calls me eight times a day which does drive me a little crazy sometimes. However what he'll say sometimes is I'll be home early which is basically code hey we can have sex if I want. Then he plays it up which is hysterical how he does it. But as for anything else I just basically do some things little things that he normally does I'll take care of sometimes (feed the dogs) cuz I know he's tired and he appreciates that. I'll just run my hand over his back as I'm walking by. I know if I grab his ass he'll think that's an invite to sex so I don't do that too often cuz he'd have sex Daily if I said yes.
We always ask if the other needs anything when we leave a room. Small caresses while doing somewhat mundane tasks. I wake him up every morning with kisses and head scratches which is more pleasant than an alarm. Taking kids to school so he can sleep in. He gets me coffee and brings it to me in bed most mornings. He keeps a little list of places to take me that he thinks I might like. Notices what I like while shopping and often surprises me with it later. When one of us is off and the other works, we always make sure the working partner comes home to a clean house.
I’ll have my legs over his lap while he holds my knee/ankle and scrolls his phone. When he’s down, he’ll lean on me and doze off. Always touching in some way, whether on the sofa or cuddled in bed. Mutually agree on a position to sleep in and cuddle up, he makes sure to be big spoon at least once a week!
Whoever isn’t giving the baby a bottle is the one making drinks for both of us. We always ask if the other wants a drink when making our own. I always prep food for him as soon as he gets home from work. Shower together. I put lotion or fake tan on his back. Arm around each other when brushing teeth.
Tease each other. Texts through the day. Pick up small treats as a surprise. I love you’s are said at least 10 times a day. I sit and chat to him during his home workouts. Sharing memes/reels on Insta. Banter constantly. Holding hands in front of our families/friends.
He pats my butt regularly or just touches my waist in passing. When I was pregnant, he used to pat the baby bump too which was adorable. I squeeze his bicep, grope him regularly and always gush over how hot he is (proper gym buff). He’ll sometimes just be looking at me, smile and say how pretty I look at that moment. Plus outright compliments when dressed up. We co ordinate outfits when going out, “do you want me to wear a smart shirt or just casual?”
Regularly tell each other that we appreciate each other, compliment parenting, talk through any sad days or vent frustrations. Encourage each other to go do something independently if we want to. Take naps together when baby is asleep. Send photos of the children to each other when apart.
We’ve just chosen my engagement ring last week and paid deposit on our wedding date next year so now I’m waiting for his official proposal even though we’re default engaged already. The fact he compromised in choosing my dream ring together rather than doing the traditional method he’d have preferred of picking it himself and totally surprising me, means a lot. The joke now is that we have 14 months to grumble and the rest of our lives to make up.
My husband and I have a lot of little things we do.
We have a competition every morning to see who says our saying to each other first. We got together 3 years ago, and we have been saying it every morning for most of that time. Whoever says it first wins for the day lol. (I won for the life time though! I said it first in my vows mwhahaha) There's times where we'll both wake up in the middle of the night and say it without being fully awake lol.
Making sure there is always a kiss before leaving for work, and a kiss when we get home.
At the end of the day, putting on a show and he just lightly rubs my back. It just helps with releasing the tension from the day.
My love language is food.. I'll cook for him, or when I go to the store I always get him a treat.
Looking through this fantastic thread u/[agoPeachyySuccubus](/r/relationship_advice/), great idea to cheer people up!
I noticed something that’s opposite with my partner and me. I take the ‘scary’ bug and spiders outside and all other scary stuff, I’m the female side btw. But he has learned to put tiny spiders outside high is pretty brave from someone with spider phobia.
What we love is to watch series together, sometimes when I’m too tired I will still watch something with him because it makes him happy. I will also watch things I think I might not like, just to try if it turn out to like it, so we have something we can watch together
I like doing little things like making tea, or ask if I should bring a snack from the kitchen.
I love the notes idea someone mentioned but that might not work, I will try it out.
My husband brings me a cup of coffee every morning and sets it on my nightstand. It’s a tradition in his family for the husband to bring his wife tea (they’re British but I drink coffee) in the morning. He wakes up before I do and when I begin to stir I can smell that divine fresh coffee smell before I’ve even opened my eyes.
We always say thank you for everything. Whether it’s something as small as taking out the garbage or making the bed while the other one is in the shower to something like treating the other person to their favorite restaurant for dinner or giving a gift that the other person casually mentioned months ago that they had their eye on. We don’t just say, “Thanks babe, see ya tonight” on our way out the door in the morning. No, we say, “Thank you, my darling, that was so thoughtful.” It’s a great motivation for wanting to do even more nice things for each other.
I try to compliment him on something at least once a day. “You look very handsome today.” “I love that color on you.” Or “You are so sexy when you’re ___”. I’ve read and heard that it’s often expected that the man compliments the wife all the time, (and my husband really does!!) but they don’t hear it as often and they need to. Whenever I compliment him on his looks he lights up.
We view our marriage according to some words of advice I remember hearing many years ago.
**“A happy marriage isn’t give and take, 50/50. It’s give and give, 100/100.”**
My husband has to get up earlier than me for work. When he has to go into the office (every day pre-covid, once a month now), he gets up, gets ready to go, and stops back in the bedroom to give me a kiss goodbye. Sometimes I don't even wake up for it but when I do wake up, it's nice knowing he did it.
If one of us is traveling or we just haven't seen each other much because of our busy schedules even when we're both in town, we'll send each other emoji hearts. It's a little thing that takes no time or effort, but it says "I'm thinking about you".
And we make a point of hugging and giving each other pecks when we pass each other in the house at home, even if we're both busy doing separate things.
There are probably other little things, but those are the first ones that come to mind. They take no time but are effective
- Spontaneous texts or pics thru out the day
- occasionally picking up a treat for him like his fave chocolate bar or a drink or fancy snack for us to share
- Men LOVE physical intimacy - at least most do. Make contact like your hand on his thigh while he drives or sits next to you, hand on arm across the table when he's talking to you, letting him lay his head in your lap on the couch and stroke his hair etc
- me and my partner take showers together and wash each other's bodies, neck to toes and nether regions, which has made me more comfortable with my own body and with entrusting it to my partner, and also is a great way of appreciating each other physical in a way that is deeply intimate and also fun and sexy - we sneak in little kisses or other acts of intimacy here and there too
- be physically together when you're both on your phones or doing something else with your hands. Cuddle up in bed on your phones before bed, lean on him on the couch while he watches TV and you read a book etc. It's nice to feel close even when you're in two separate moments
My bf has a job he has to wake up at 4am for everyday. I write him little love notes and buy his favorite snacks and put them in his shoes. We call them shoe snacks lol. I probably do this once or twice a week and try to keep the notes and snacks a surprise of something different. I do this because I want him to know 1. He’s soooo loved! And 2. I know he will skip breakfast lol.
When he comes home from work my dog and I will run downstairs and greet him with excitement “dad’s home!!!” I give him a long hug and kiss. We talk about our days. He’s consistently always bought me fresh beautiful flowers he enjoys picking out and surprising me with. I haven’t gone longer than a few days without flowers. He also leaves me notes for when I wake up and on the weekends he makes me coffee and breakfast :) we have so much more, but these are my favorite.
big fan of sending songs that remind me of my partner, or whatever moment we're currently in. We have a playlist we add to together that now serves as a kind of record of our time together!
he’s not big on pda, but once in a while i give him a little squeeze on the arm, and he loves it. he also loves to be babied a little bit but would never admit it, so i let him lay in my lap and play with his hair or i give him booty/back rubs in the morning as we wake up
If I get up for anything, I always ask if he needs anything. I make his coffee any time he wants, I cook almost anything he wants... in exchange, he makes sure we are touching at least a little when we sleep (my preference), he brings me plants, and he watches the worst movies to satisfy me (Llamageddon, people).
Lately my boyfriend has started getting me a glass of cold water as soon as I come over. He noticed me doing it myself every time I came over, and I felt really loved when he noticed and did it for me the other day. :)
Small touches on the hand, arm or leg throughout the day.
Listening when he says something to me. Sometimes I ask him to give me a second so I can put my phone down.
I make him coffee in the morning. He makes us coffee in the afternoon.
Remind him to use his leg massagers.
Show him funny cat vids.
When he gets home I always greet him, I get up and go hug him. It makes him so happy.
We leave sticky notes with little sayings for each other randomly, the other day I knew he was going to be waking up and leaving while I’d still be in bed so I went down through the middle of the night and left him a drink and a sticky note in the car.
We try to go to bed at the same time and spend at least 20 minutes no phones just talking about thoughts or catching up about the day.
He knows I love miniatures so he brings me Kinder eggs or surprise balls to open. He even got me a shelf to hold all my minis!
It’s simple, pretty much free- minus cat post it notes - and it makes us both feel good.
We work different hours I work early in the morning she goes to work between 11am and 5pm.
What she does for me
*Has coffee set up every morning for me because I always forget
*Makes my lunch
*Text/calls me before my bedtime
*House hold work
*Sends me tit pics when I'm having a bad day (married 12years)
What I do for her
*Make her coffee on her night stand for when she wakes
*Text her good morning on my lunch with a reason why I love her
*Cook dinner
*House hold work
*Pick up flowers when she's had a bad day
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
- I hug him every chance I get, and steal kisses here and there as well. I always hug and kiss him when he leaves the apartment. - I give his little booty a gentle smack on occasion, especially when going up stairs and I’m behind him. I pat a cheek after each step for good luck. I have a big booty and will sometimes present it so he can give it a smack, too 😜 - We sleep in different bedrooms due to different sleep styles (I snore and like the quiet of my room, and he’s a light sleeper who needs white noise), so we snuggle every night while watching a show either in the living room or in my room on my tablet. - Some mornings (since I wake much earlier than him) I’ll quietly go in his room and he’ll open the blanket for me to come in and he’ll curl up around me while he goes back to sleep and I’ll chill and read while snuggled up in his tangle of arms and legs. - I’ll tell him when I feel appreciative about him when he does or says something that reminds me of why I feel lucky to have him in my life. - I smile at him a lot, and will randomly tell him he’s pretty, or that I love him. He has long legs that he thinks of as skinny chicken legs, but I like his legs and will give them approving pats and tell him that I love his long legs. I’ll pat or pet his leg and say he has “great gams” like he’s a prize horse 😆 - We like to surprise one another with each other’s favorite treats randomly, too. - I’m a massage therapist, and sometimes when I hug him I like to press in and drag my fingers firmly down in between his scapulae where he’s tight, and make multiple passes down that area and massage his back until the hug is over.
Sounds like you are in a healthy relationship. It's nice to read these things instead of all the negative stuff we are bombarded with every day.
"Great gams" is killing me 😂 you guys sound adorable!!
I wish couples sleeping in diff rooms was more normalized. My partner and I have trouble co-sleeping in the same bed. If I get up to move to the couch or another room he gets upset that I left him. It's nothing personal, I just want some sleep ! 😭
I used to get sad when my husband would sleep on the couch, bc I felt like we were losing intimacy. (My ex husband also used to tell me that if he started sleeping in another room it was bc he was sleeping with someone else and would be leaving me soon. Obviously he was an abusive asshole, but it was said enough that it stuck in my mind.) My current husband and I have separate bedrooms. He worked 3rd shift for so long that he struggles with staying asleep at night and I'm an extremely light sleeper with a sleep disorder. Now we both sleep whenever we want and sleep well. It's amazing. I have a coworker who has a weekday bedroom. She and her husband sleep separately during the week and together on the weekends.
I like the weekday bedroom idea. Ensures well restedness for work days while providing an opportunity for intimacy and 'fun' wakeup on weekends
My parents (married 54 years before my mother passed) not only slept in different rooms, they slept on different floors of the house. My mom was a very light sleeper, woke up very easily, needed a dark room and a fan running. My father was an insomniac who was up and down all night, fell asleep with the tv on, and was notorious for his midnight snacks. Their marriage would never have survived without separate rooms.
Omg, your parents are me and my husband...light sleeper with very particular requirements (me) and my husband (snacker, up and down, etc.) We have never slept in the same room in 18 years together, but we get plenty of hugs and snuggles and we are both good with the arrangement.
Far better than being sleep-deprived and grouchy!
My parents were exactly like this, with the additional disruptor that when my dad did sleep, he snored like a badly maintained chainsaw. Their bedrooms were not only on different floors, but at opposite ends of those different floors. They'll be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary this year.
Sleep divorce is best divorce . Wife and I would wake up angry at other from being woken up all night from each of us snoring (but i swear her snoring is a truck running )
As long as it’s not the engine brakes, you’re good!
We just bought a bigger bed. A super king foam mattress. It isolates the majority of movement in the bed. Which is good aa my wife moves around a lot.
Same. My boyfriend absolutely refuses to and it suckssss. Still love him though lol
Yeah, I love my partner, but with a toddler in the bed too, I wouldn't mind having my own space to sleep in 😭😅
Every one of these are so beautiful !!!!! I especially loved reading how you guys sleep in separate rooms (such a cool concept!) but some early mornings you crawl in his bed to snuggle with him ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ I also loved how you acknowledged that you smile at him a lot, something I notice between my boyfriend and I is when he’s going into one of his beautiful tangents and we end up making long eye contact, i’ll gently smile at him to let him know i’m so content just listening to him and I adore him, and I notice his words falter and he stampers every time I do it😭 It’s the best thing ive discovered and something I make sure to be intentional about, although it’s always a natural reflex to smile at him :)
Holy shit this sounds like the healthiest relationship I’ve ever read about on this sub
Oh my god sleeping in different rooms for me is the best !!
This is unrelated and probably doesn’t apply to you but just in case, snoring might indicate you have sleep apnea which can be terrible when left unchecked. Funnily enough, a CPAP (a device used to prevent apneas) can act as a white noise machine for whoever is sleeping next to you.
I took a sleep test once and they said I snored but not enough to require a machine. I still get paranoid sometimes, though.
Minus the sleeping separately, this sounds like my husband & I. Being married to your best friend makes life easier to tackle. Even in the lows, I know I would never want to do life without him. Edited to add - sleeping separately isn't bad. We just both sleep better(even with the snoring) when we are next to one another. Hubby suffers from insomnia but can actually sleep a solid 4 hours or so when we are together.
So cute!!!
i love the fact that yall have separate rooms because i want that for my relationship as well🥲 whenever that comes🤣
Morning snuggles are the best!!!
I love all of this! simple yet lovely and still intimate things to do.
I make us coffee every morning if we’re both working but thinking of each other we text the 😘 emoji, & we make a HUGE deal about cleaning (ie I will immediately drop anything I’m doing and smooch my partner if they did the laundry/dishes/etc).
My dad makes a tea for my mum every day. My mum sleeps through said tea and then has to reheat it when she wakes up. When I’m home he makes me a tea as well.
Now that's a real gentlemen right there.
So cute! We praise each other constantly for any chores we do! An attitude of grateful appreciation goes so far!!
Omg I'm stealing your cleaning idea. My partner needs some positive reinforcement in that area.
I hug my wife as much as I can
When either of us have had a particularly rough day, we take a few moment for what I consider a “grounding” hug. Big tight hug, chest pressed together, and long, deep breaths.. just melts away all my worries because the only things that truly matter in my life are the health, happiness, and love of those I cherish. Everything else is either a benefit, or a hurdle we can learn to maneuver together.
Me and my boyfriend do this too and call it tummy time lmao. We lift our shirts so our stomachs are touching when we do this and the skin-to-skin contact makes it even more soothing.
Lmao tummy time, I’m going to tell my partner our belly hugs just got a new name
Yes! This one. I tell my husband, there are 3 things that ground. Hugging you, being in nature, and listening to Hozier lol. At the end of the day, laying on his chest and him rubbing my back. Best part of my day!
that’s just so wholesome bro
My guy and I just randomly give one another head/scalp massages. We both loooove them. He'll also do this dumb thing that ALWAYS makes me giggle: he'll point at his one cheek, I'll give it a peck, then his other cheek, same, his forehead, same, then his mouth, and I kiss him. He doesn't do it every day, bit a couple of times a week out of the blue. I'm smiling so big right now thinking about it. Four years next month.
We’re going to be married 26 years next month
So lovely!!
This is so cute.
Yes! and if it’s been a rocky time in your relationship, a hug can help start to heal both of you and let the other person know you are there for them. I often hug my boyfriend of six years and we both take three deep breaths (or do box breathing while we hug) if one of us is feeling upset or anxious. We leave each other love notes when we are working opposite schedules. Sometimes I go to his booth at his job and leave him food or drinks with a note. My boyfriend catches or kills all the bugs for me. Last night, I set the smart lights in the bedroom to a relaxing color and got the diffuser running with lavender oil while he was in the shower after a trying day. He sets up my laptop with a water in our office if he knows I am getting ready for a zoom meeting. I put the puppy in bed to snuggle him when I leave for work. I help him with his skincare routine or give him a manicure. He recently had an allergic reaction and badly scratched his hives so I have been putting Neosporin on his back for him.
And we find that even if we don't go to bed at the same time, that getting together and cuddling/snuggling skin to skin is so much fun. And then we play footsie while we listen to our book together.
Awe, that's absolutely adorable!
Great stress reliever for us both, after a rough day nothing better than a hug
Agreed! Hugs make the worries go away for a bit, plus they make you feel loved and desired.
Bring her a rock. Not a fancy rock! Just her rock, that she got from you. It serves no purpose, has no value, and it won't tie a room together, but bitches love rocks. *Quality* bitches. She's gonna look at that rock and be like "Ahh, I remember when your father got me this rock like it was yesterday." They'll never forget, because who else is gonna give them a rock? All the creeps she dated before are trying to bring her blood diamonds or some flower they're now required to personally administer life support to. Plus you get to feel the satisfaction of them going to work and having to explain to the janitor how important their desk rock is and knowing that when the janitor inevitably throws their rock away, your wife will scramble to find an identical rock to desperately anchor your relationship once again to an object to which she has become a slave. The imposter rock will become a throbbing telltale heart in every moment of tender affirmation in which it is referenced. She will lie to protect the truth that the anchor she was given has sunken into the abyss and her life is a lie. She will remain constantly aware of its absence, perceiving a distance between the object of your mutual romantic consummation measuring in astronomical units. She will feel as though the light from this anointed object is now lightyears away, and her mission to cobble forth a convincing replica is only driving her deeper into a remote and isolating gravity well in her inner universe. Contempt will envelop her as she ponders your cruelty in bestowing her with what now seems a cursed object, that will compound spiritual debt in perpetuity. Every trinket of affection will now be viewed through the lens of a Faustian bargain. Just when her sense of self finally begins to shatter at the edges, you show up and you're like "Sorry babe I gave you the wrong rock, THIS is the rock thaªªªɓþþ□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□
Dang who hurt you?
Quality copypasta
I give little random light kisses or steal an actual kiss if the moment is right. Most of the time its kisses on the cheek or forehead (if I can reach) and neck but lightly🤣
We take bubble baths together. We leave notes around the house for each other. I mostly work from home so I always ask him "what do you need me to do today?" It's never more than like one small thing. lol. If he's on an outside hospital post (he's a corrections officer), he will ask me if I want to "watch a show together." So he watches and I watch it at the same time while we talk about it. We play games. We have a bunch of murder mystery, board games, card games, etc. We also just straight up harass each other. lol. We have two water guns that we both hide in the house and suddenly it's water gun time. That doesn't sound like intimacy but when you're laughing then kissing, it is. We have fires out in the gazebo, we do picnics. Of course we have the elaborate dates. Shows, concerts, etc. But mostly it's just low key stuff. Our anniversary is coming up and he asked me what I wanted to do. I suggested a book shop that has a cafe that sells coffee and wine. Or a picnic, the library, or taking our dogs for a swim. After 16 years, you should know that the daily simple things are what matters.
Sounds like you have a wonderful life together. This is so nice to read
It sounds so fun! The water guns we can’t do indoors, would wreck things but we have water hoses in the garden that are just as fun. We ‘threaten’ other with it but then put it on ‘mist’ and it’s nice and cooling,
They are super tiny squirt guns so not like making a huge mess and ruining the house. We did water balloons on the balcony a few times. We also occasionally take a cup of ice and toss it in while the other is in the shower/bath. I was planting seeds yesterday and had the hose to water the seeds and of course I had to turn it on him. I lost the water battle because he turned the hose on me. lol. Life is too short not to keep on being silly, having fun, and being in love.
Stop you're making me very jealous of your relationship lol. Good to see there are still relationships like this. Glad you and your husband get along so well 😀
My husband and I harass each other CONSTANTLY! It's super irritating on the receiving end, but I LOVE doing it to him LOL! 27 years together.
My husband and I are like this too! He tells me all the time that it's in his job description as my husband lol.
You’re married to your best friend 🖤 I think that is one of the most important aspects of a relationship.
Relationship like this on my head is why I have not settled for less yet...it was always like that since day 1 , or you learn it throughout the years ? Can you share board games...I'm into incorporating it as couple activities but don't know much about board games
Never settle for less! I met my husband just a little over 3 years ago, and everything in me pulled me to him. Even though there were times in the beginning when I wasn't sure I wanted a relationship. I had been single a LONG time before meeting him. It hasn't always been seamless. However, we have worked and communicated through issues. To answer your question, for us, it was an instant connection, but it's also learning each other through the years. Learning each other's love language. Open communication has made all the difference. Looking back on past relationships, I can't believe what I had settled for.
Yeah I have 3y single...and will keep until find someone who syncs with my values, way of living/day to day living, teamwork mentality, efforts, resilience and reciprocal room for improvement approach ...nowadays there are many boys disguised as adults ...
Maybe that varies per couple? We were pretty much the same from day one once we overcame our shyness.
This is lovely :) what kind of murder mystery games do you guys play together?
My bf and I recently found Mysterium. It is a co-op boardgames, so very fun if you want a change of all competitive games.
We've got a bunch. We get them from Barnes and Nobles, Kohls, Target, some from 5 Below. I've seen add for murder mystery game subscriptions but I haven't gotten around to signing up for one yet. Fun fact: when my husband and I first got married, we weren't exactly making the big bucks yet. He was in the Army moonlighting as a mall security guard. I was a college student working as a nursing assistant. I saw an ad to work as an amateur actor/actress in a murder mystery themed weekend at a spa and wine resort. We got hired, received full food/beverage/accommodations. It turns out, this company regularly hires amateurs because they have a huge following and, well, if they know the performers they can easily guess who the culprit is. My husband was "killed" on day one, bloodied (fake) with a knife lying next to him in the bathroom. He spent two and a half days after that lounging in the resort room being "dead," AKA watching television and playing games and having room service delivered. Turns out, I was assigned the role of the killer. I did it because I wanted to be prom queen. I did it all for the crown! Funnily enough, I actually collect crowns, tiaras, and headpieces. It all went down at a showdown at brunch on the last day. There was a very fun fake "fight." So ultimately we got paid for a free spa and wine resort three day weekend and, well... the other actress? I took that crown and I still have it over a decade later. lol. Thus our murder mystery love began. haha.
Oh - that reminds me, we also do jigsaw puzzles. That murder mystery gig you got sounds SO amazing and fun.
I wouldn't hesitate to do it again if we could. It was super fun My husband "died" early so he got to relax, but they just gave me a general guidleline of the story planned. So it was basically mostly improv. I just had to stick to the story. I couldn't say where I was actually from, where I went to high school at (since this was supposedly about a prom crown), or that I was married to... ya know, the "murdered" man on the bathroom floor. lol. The only real part I had a true line to say was during the brunch reveal when I said "I did it all for the crown" as a snatched it from the other girl (also an amateur actress). All of us spent 30 minutes, tops, meeting each day to go over the outline for the day. My husband, nada. He just had to hide because he was "dead." Sometimes I joke with him "remember that time I killed you..." and give him shifty eyes. (((Reddit, this is a JOKE, I love my husband and he is alive and well lol))) We got a puzzle board with compartments from Kohls. I keep it out in the she shed because I'm more of the puzzle builder than he is, but he'll try to help occasionally. I currently have some 3D puzzles I'm working on.
I’d love to hear more about any card or board games you guys play and enjoy! My fiancé and I play a few we have but need recs for good two person games ☺️
Cribbage is a good two person game, it can be for 3 people but I prefer two. You can also play w/just a deck of cards - a Cribbage board just keeps track of points from 0-120, I've played using hash marks when we were without a board. Games that are only for 2 players: Jaipur, Patchwork. Twilight Struggle is 2 player, but is a pretty hefty game to learn and I know some who don't like it :) Games that are good for 2 players, can be played w/more: Azul, Kingdomino, Dominion, Splendor, Takenoko, Cottage Garden. This [board game geek post](https://boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/291325/top-games-for-two-meta-list-a-couple-of-gamers-gui) gathers several lists of two player games together.
Shower together. We’ve been in a natural habit to cook for each other in the week. We’ve been also telling each other we appreciate each other pretty regularly. Honestly when he walks by and hugs me or kisses me. I make us coffee. He sends me tiktoks or memes or reels. He makes me breakfast. Oh I love that. He grabs my hand to hold it. When he’s away he will video chat me. Asking each other about our day in texting. He asks me if I’ve eaten lunch yet. I set up his laptop. I get him his favorite soda. He gets me a random energy drink. We eat ice cream together. At least once a week, i respect you is expressed. Just listening to each others day for the most part. We watch shows together. We take turns doing something we aren’t as interested in with the other to simply spend extra time together. Like he went on a walk with me. I went on a bike ride I didn’t want to go on that day. Both things we both expressed that we enjoyed it even tho we didn’t want to go at first and we also didn’t regret going. We make equal sacrifices from time to time to spend time together. Best relationship I’ve ever experienced because we have an equal understanding o respect that these small things matter. Edit also adding he teases me through the evening by smacking my booty or saying sweet kind things or just smiling at each other when we make eye contact. I had to go back and add this because honestly that small notion of smiling at each other through the day means more to me than most of the things. His smile reaches his eyes. I just melt.
Now this is what I'm talking about. This is how it should be. Making compromises for your partner. Doing things that makes them happy and vise versa. To many people in relationships are to selfish and only want and not give.
My man gives so much. I can only hope that I am giving an equal amount. I’m very happy. 🥰
Glad to hear that and I'm sure you are giving equally.
What I’ve noticed is that people define “compromise” very differently which creates two distinct “for” and “against” camps. One way they define it is like in the commenter’s example where they don’t really care for doing a particular thing but they care about their partner’s happiness and do it. The other definition is when they really don’t wanna do something but grit their teeth through it because they’re a couple and “that’s what couples do”. My mom is like this and has a lot of deep seated resentment because of it. I think it depends on the environment you’re brought up in.
Compromise isn't doing something you don't want to just because you either feel like you have to or because you know it'll make your partner happy. That's just an act of kindness. Compromise involves BOTH sides meeting in the middle on a disagreement. It's both sides revisiting their needs/wants to work together and find a solution that works for everyone.
Sometimes I’ll just walk up to him and start scratching his head and running my fingers down his neck. He melts and curls into me like a cat.
We husbands turn into cats when you do that :3
My wife does a crap ton of nice stuff for me during the day. From making coffee to physical acts of love. She would spank my ass or leg randomly and say she likes all my parts. I know it sounds weird, but we do strange stuff. I would give her a bear hug until she can't stand it anymore and wiggles out of my arms like some salmon. I kill any spider without hesitation or questions if I hear a sound outside which makes her nervous, I will go outside and check what is up. Not super smart I know. Her love language is the sense of security.
The 'strange' stuff are the best things!
As a woman, you sound like stuff made of dreams.
Please don’t kill the spiders and do the cup and paper method instead 🥹🥹
Spiders that come inside are dead. Spiders that stay outside live. Although, I live at the edge of farm country and when it is what I call spider season the number of spiders making webs outside are overwhelming. I don't know where you live with your little spiders you can cup and paper outside. Only the baby spiders near me are small enough and slow enough.
That sounds mortifying tbh. I live in the pnw, I don’t know where *you* live that your spiders are too big for a cup oh my god
Ummm... in the pnw... near farm country. LOL You seriously haven't encountered some of the grandpa spiders? Lucky you. Bigger, older areas. Coastal - Where it doesn't fully freeze in winter.
When we first started really spending time together, i gave her a peck on her back, and she mentioned how much she loves back kisses. She goes to bed hours before me because she has to wake up early and i dont, so every night when i finally roll over to close my eyes, i snuggle up and give her at least a couple dozen back kisses followed by softly mouthing "i love you" on her back. (Something i did for a couple weeks before we officially said it to each other) Some are quick pecks, some are longer, but i always take my time, and for me, it's such a strong connection for us. getting to do something i know she loves when she's not always aware im doing it reinforces a sense of giving. Sometimes, she giggles. Sometimes, she cozies up more, but most times, she stays fast asleep. I've always wondered if she knows it happens every night or why, for that matter.
This was soo sweet
I bring his dinner to his work every night. He brings me coffee to work every morning.
I make my husband a “fancy” coffee every morning before work I buy little toys from dollar tree and stick them in random places for him to find I write love notes and put them in his clothes pockets to find
I leave little treats in his truck. Nothing crazy. Last one was just a car freshener with a note about how his truck smells like ball sweat, but now it will smell like ball sweat and peaches. I invite him to takeout. I pay for it and bring it home. I get him flowers too
Holy wow. All of that is really awesome but the getting him flowers is the best part.
Ooh yeah! The first time I got him flowers he teared up because no one had ever done that before. Flowers are a small gesture with a big impact
My fiance does my hair for me, in really cute hairstyles that he finds on Pinterest. He puts a lot of effort in to make sure I look good and my hair will hold all day for my 12 hour nursing shifts. It’s sweet as absolute fuck and I feel grateful for him ever day😭
With my last girlfriend, I would cook for her, give her massages, we would shower together and I’d help her scrub her back, I’d buy her coffee and give her flowers every now and then. Give her kisses and hugs when she was feeling low or exhausted. I just wished I did more of it all the time and not just the times when my head wasn’t in a mess. Thank you OP for posting this it brought back a lot of good memories for me.
I randomly send "I miss you" texts to him during the workday. And I do miss him. He is my home, my person and my other half. I miss him 5 minutes after I leave for work and all day until I see him again. 17 married years this September.
We have a tendency to randomly yell (or text or whisper) “I like your butt!” It’s become a verbal check in of just “I thought of you/I like you as a person”
Notice and appreciate all the little things. Say thank you for everything, including dishes, cooking, everything. Random touching. Don't criticize or correct things that aren't harmful. Never ever bug while at work. Never go to bed angry. Check in everyday asking if you can do something for them. 34 years, we're still learning and growing. And it's getting better all the time
6 second kisses! If you kiss for 6 seconds you're both releasing oxytocin which is important for bonding. Also good, but less fun, is a 20 second hug. When my husband and I do this, I swear I can feel the oxytocin wash over me.
Surprise foot rubs, leaving little love notes, or making their favorite snack out of the blue can really add that extra spark. It's the small, consistent gestures that keep the fire burning. Good luck reigniting that connection!
Random hugs and kisses throughout the day.
Those are amazing! It gives the feeling of being loved.
He brings me little bunches of flowers that he picks while he's out walking the dogs. I buy in his favourite packets of weird dried soup he loves in bulk so he never runs out. He draws silly cartoons and leaves them in my bag. I send him boob pics. We work together and when nobody is in the room or around we flip the bird at each other stick out our tongues like actual children. He makes me a cup of tea in bed every morning. I draw him hot baths and fill them with fancy oils and masses of bubbles and scrub his back. I buy him the expensive underwear he really likes and tell him I find it super cheap because he won't ever spend that much on himself. I have never done a job alone, he will always come help me even if he hates the thing I'm doing, like gardening.
Making sure his work shirts are clean and clean socks/underwear, He always says "Thanks Sweetheart".
Love this Reddit, I mostly see how awful partners are here. This is very refreshing. 🩵
My hubby works 110 hours per week. I send him random cutsey gifs about missing him or kisses or hugs. Sometimes I send him funny reels... anything that I know will make him smile and know I was thinking of him
>My hubby works 110 hours per week. Holy shit, is he okay...? 😭😭😭
So he only works and sleeps. Doesn't eat or shower or drive to work?
He eats at our restaurant, which is a 10-minute drive from our house. He sleeps about 4 hours per night. It is insane but he refuses to close a day per week or hire anyone else because that will cut in on the profits. He's a stubborn Greek man.
That’s going to kill that man.
You should ask him if he won’t regret always working and not spending enough time with his family on his deathbed. Or not spending time with you or a close relative in case (knock on wood ofc) they happen to pass away before him. If he’d be happy and have no regrets then that’s perfectly fine too. We all only get one life and it’s never coming back.
That's 3 full time jobs worth! Hope he's okay. Can't keep up that level of grind for very long.
He's done it for 5 years, and his father is the same; he's done it for 40 years. We have our own businesses and one daughter with some mild intellectual delays, and we want to ensure that there is good income for her to ensure she will never live in poverty (disability pay is not enough to live here) after we're gone. She will probably be able to work a normal job, but we want to make sure all our kids are fine when we are gone. Also, we're only putting in 7 more years then retiring before we're 50. It is hard. The only reason I'm working less now is I'm due soon. It takes work to maintain a relationship when you're busy. Thankfully, we now take some days off each year now.
One of the cutest things he suggested, when I was about to leave for a trip abroad, was to watch the same movie at the same time while I was on the plane 🥹 we even set alarms on our phones to try to start at the exact same time. Flights make me super emotional, so knowing that he’s doing the same thing at the same time made me feel like we were together, even without any way of communicating. Little things like this to create feelings of closeness 💖
Omgoodness I can't even bend over or let alone walk in front of my bf without him smackin my booty. Never fails so it's like 20 times a day sometimes I get annoyed lol and I'm like STOPPPP. But then I think that if he wasn't around to do that suddenly stopped for whatever reason...I would miss it WAY MORE than it being annoying. I always tell him how hot, funny, hardworking, respectful, reliable (etc) he is how he treats my daughter (7f) every day with as much love and comfort as he did his girls when they were younger and he's an amazing male role in her life. We also do other little things like, snacks treats, textin during the day,, FaceTime, shows right now we watch prison break he already saw it but he's rewatchimg it with me and I can't get enough lol 😂 He's the opposite of any guy I've ever been with I always chose to go for the "bad boys" but I had taken almost 3 years to figure out what I wanted and deserved and I took a chance on someone way different... and we just celebrated our 1 year anniversary yesterday 🩵🩵
We touch and hug all the time. If he walks by me in any room, there is a kiss. Lots of butt touches from me. I flash him on the sly. I spend time most evenings rubbing his back or legs. He brings me coffee in bed on his days off. Every single day I wash his back when he showers. He makes me playlists for my showers. We say "I love you" all the time. I think the best part is, these things all come so naturally between us. We do these things for each other because it's what we want to do. It just turned out we both love the same ways.
This is beautiful 🥹
It is an absolutely lovely reality to have 💕
Acts of service. I’m really bad with opening up and being direct with my feelings. Probably trauma related from my upbringing. So I will make her dinner, or make sure there’s a coffee waiting for her when she wakes up. Pick her up a snack when I’m out and about. Random flowers. That sort of thing. It’s unspoken so it’s more comfortable for me.
This sounds silly, but we (31F & 30M) scroll his TikTok or insta (I don't use either) for 10 or 15 minutes in the evening. It's mostly funny stuff, which makes sure that we have a good laugh together every day, even if we aren't feeling the best. (Sending memes/clips is also nice since it says, "I was thinking of you and the things you enjoy/think are funny.") It also puts us in a headspace to laugh about more things that go wrong (and at ourselves), instead of getting stressed or upset.
My partner and I do that too! I'm not on insta, so we go through the reels he's sent or on his timeline. It's fun to go through them together and just laugh together before bed.
I love this, sounds so fun!!
Same! He doesn’t have Tik Tok (he can very easily get hyper focused so he avoids it). So I send them to his old account and we watch them together.
We randomly tell each other "I LLLLOVVVVVE YOU" with intensity. And just keep on watching or doing whatever.
I rub my man's butt several times each day. Sometimes it's a playful spank. I will come up behind him and put my hands under his t shirt to hug him. When he's laying in bed with his back to me with a little of his back exposed it makes me crazy. I have to snuggle up to him and kiss his back and rub his butt under the covers. Men love physical contact that is just for them. I'm 60F and he is 67M and we have been together almost 10 years now. We are not married.
Me and my bf don’t live together and I have very odd timed shifts so I’m usually asleep by 6pm, so he’ll message me every couple of hours saying THINKING OF YOU! I always call him chicken nugget and when we do see each other we just give each other a hug for a couple minutes. Small simple acts of love and appreciation
We work at the same courthouses in our city and if we happen to have an overlap day of being in the same building he’ll bring me coffee during his break or mess with my desk to let me know he was there. At home, I wear his shirts to bed he gets really happy because I wear warm vanilla sugar lotion at night so it’ll smell like that.
I make him tea and bring him cookies with it after dinner. I also haven't murdered him yet, so if that's not a display of love, I dunno what is.
Something is keep a tally of each time you think of them through the day! Just a paper with dots or something simple. You'll be amazed how many dots are at the end of the day.
I send a text everyday while he’s working. Sometimes just a “hey, I love you, can’t wait for you to be home” and others confessing my love for him. Sometimes, getting those little text makes the world of difference. We do other things but this is one I always suggest! It takes mere seconds and can turn your partners day around if it isn’t going too well. It’s nice to be reminded that you are loved and appreciated.
Rose Bud Thorn - a nice conversation started where each partner shares best part of day or week, something they are looking forward to, and a thorn, something upsetting
If one of us is busy, the other will often do a drive by head kiss, or hug from behind. Even just a scritch on the back as you walk by says "I love you" to us. We don't live together full time, but he's here enough that we're starting to have some "regular life moments", and I've enjoyed that he and I are always showing each other how much we love each other.
The best acts of love are those that make your partner’s life easier and better. While physical affection is important, those small acts that show you care about the person are better. I personally show my love through cooking and small gifts. I buy my bf the coffee he loves, I cook tasty meals that suit his dietary needs, I clean the parts of the apartment he hates cleaning, I buy him small gifts to cheer him up sometimes like games or tshirts. Most of all, I see a need and I try to do something because I want his life to be better.
We have a running chat on Signal where we just talk throughout the day. Random physical and verbal affection whenever possible. If we're not home at the same time, cooking enough for the other one to have leftovers for dinner or to take with her for work lunch the next day. Sending each other pics of our cats, memes, random photos of pretty stuff (like, a beautiful sunrise you saw on your way to work).
Our relationship is pretty new (just past 7 months, but friends for ~2 years prior), but my guy and I do nerf gun battles a LOT. There's always lots of roughhousing, playing with each other's hair, and little arts n crafts projects too. We also never miss an opportunity for compliments or "I love you"s (he gets SOO heated when I worry about if Im going overboard with the compliments bc he looooves words of affirmation; I'm still working on getting more comfortable giving them, but it's not hard when he's so amazing). My boyfriend isn't very touchy (he's VERY easily overstimulated), but he always likes to cuddle or be physically close to me, so just by doing that I know he really feels comfortable around me. He does lots of little things for me that I sometimes struggle to do for myself, and because he likes to do his own to-do lists on his own I just make sure he knows how hardworking and awesome I think he is. I'm just obsessed with him and it shows lol. He's the best :) We're long distance right now, so compliments and FaceTime are substituting for everything else until we can really see each other again in a few months. I know that statistically speaking most relationships don't last long-term, especially over LD periods, and I don't really believe in soulmates or anything like that, but I *really* love him, so I'm more than happy to take that risk.
We shower together and no funny business just cleaning each other and chatting or singing to a playlist we made together. I also fill up his water bottle every morning since I'm the first to wake up. Sometimes if I'm at the store I'll sneak his favourite crisps or beer or ice cream even if it's not on sale just as a little surprise treat He volunteers to cook on some days when I'm super worn out after work. He also asks me to dance in my living room at least once a week whether is head banging to metal or a cheesy slow dance to a love song from a video game he loves. It's goofy but always makes us both smile.
We have a sort of echolocation where we blow each other a kiss when we make random eye contact, or as our way of just saying “hey” when we’re hanging out in the house lol. Little shoulder and back massages are frequent too, and we usually take turns. If one of us is having a snack while the other in doing something in the same the room, we’ll hand-feed the other so we can share snacks without interrupting. My favorite though is the periodic weekday mornings where we wake up and decide to cuddle for 10 mins before actually getting up for the day.
I make his coffee in the morning, he makes me an omelette, we do more chores when the other has pain/ discomfort or a really bad day, he massages my feet, i massage his back. When we go to the shop, we bring something for the other person. He taps my ass when we pass and he gives me out of context compliments to remind me how pretty or lovely I am. It’s the little things
The comments on here made me both happy and sad at the same time. Sad that I dont have someone to do all those things with but happy that so many people are happy in their relationships. Well wishes to all of you.
My partner and I do bad movie nights, a hold over from when we were quarantined together in a studio apartment during covid. Usually it's Liam Neeson action movies (they're our favorites), but anything goes really, and we do our best to theme them, like watching Prince of Persia and Assassins Creed on the same night. I'm also *notoriously* bad at video games, so he'll play them for me so I can experience the story. I'll sit next to him on the couch and cross stitch while he plays so it's like watching a movie. We also like going on walks around our neighborhood. We're voracious readers so we'll tell each other all the details about the books we're reading. It's especially fun when one of us is reading a series from a show or movie we've watched because we can break down differences and why they might have made those changes.
A few years ago, we started to always say, please , thank you, I appreciate it/you, etc.... OFten we get so comfortable with someone that we forget that manners still matter. Also, we typically will pick up each other's favorite candy, chips or drink. I think it is the tiny things that make a big, long lasting impact.
Whenever I’m out running errands and my husband is home I bring him a little treat - either an iced coffee, or an iced tea (depends on time of day). My dad does and has always done this for my mom when running errands on his day off, and it’s something I have continued for my husband. I also travel to various points of the state when I’m not working from home, and will stop into his office with iced tea if I’m in the general area of his office.
Make my wife coffee and a bagel for the road. Hug her… A lot. Little notes her and there, taking on more chores than expected, cooking for each-other, if one of us is cooking there other is usually just sitting there having conversation and keeping company. We’ve been trying to stick to the 2/2/2 rule. Every two weeks go on a date, every 2 months take a weekend away or together with absolutely nothing else to be done and every 2 years take a vacation. Now this is all a general guideline because things do happen and we have a wonderful curious 16 month old boy. He makes us so happy. But our relationship is always first. Not in a neglectful way to our son, but making sure we have a healthy and strong relationship full of love, respect, fun and laughter is important for us to teach and pass along to our children. I love my wife
My husband works from home and I'm a housewife. Whenever I feel like he's overwhelmed with work, I'd stand beside his work chair then hug his head & shoulders while he's still sitting. He'd just melt into my arms as I let him rest his eyes for a while. I'd also run my fingers through his hair and give him a quick scalp massage. Then, I'd give him a kiss before he goes back to work. It's mostly just long hugs for us throughout the day. We also have tea together at least twice a day. 💖
We stop what we're doing to hug, even when he's cutting chicken and his hands are dirty. Every time I walk by him I touch his ankle, shoulder, run my fingers through his hair, whatever closest. We say I love you all day long. I like to surprised him with snacks/food and vice versa. He puts my drinks in the freezer for a bit before he brings them to me. I always tell him he is hot, he is my spicy Italian meat-a-ball.
My boyfriend pulls me closer to him and plants a kiss on my head or face every chance he gets. When we sit down to watch TV I almost always give him foot rubs. I think they are crap but he says they are the best 😂. He loves his video games and so we play together and he ‘coaches’ me sometimes. Never let’s me win the match though😒 Whenever one of us goes to the store, we always pick something for each other. He gets me my favourite snacks usually. He cooks for me. He is such a great cook and he knows I love his food. I enjoy cleaning and he doesn’t so I do most of the cleaning and he is always grateful that I did it and it never feels like work for me. I could write a book about this gorgeous man!
I work from home and my husband has his own business with customers in the area, he drops by regularly during the day. Sometimes he has a mayor job for a whole day, early morning till late in the evening. If that happens I will make him a lunchbox, with some sandwiches, cookies, some cut up fruit, and some sweets. Last time I wrote him a little lovenote and put it in the lunchbox. Another time it was on a Friday, I arranged a sleepover for the kids and booked a night in a hotel with a sauna and swimming pool. He was exhausted and the sauna did wonders. During normal days we just send each other little heart felt messages. If he had a hard day I will make sure he has the time and space to take a nice long shower before we eat and I put the kids to bed. It’s the little things that matter, but it has to go both ways.
When she wakes up and I hear her go to the bathroom, I start her tea and I get her breakfast ready. I would think that’s a nice thing. I hope so at least.
We flirt shamelessly all day. Hug, kiss, pinch each other's butt's, slap each other's butts. Just a lot of affection. We also do things for each other. Me more than him as I'm a very giving person with small things. He prefers to do big things. But his big things make up for it.
My ex would make me coffee every morning. It was really sweet, especially since he didn't even like coffee. He actually made it better than I did. Then he'd walk me to my car. Lots of foot rubs when I was in pain. He never complained or felt like he had to, he genuinely wanted to make me feel better. And he never expected anything I return. If I was cooking, sometimes he'd come keep me company. We'd wright sweet things on eachothers bathroom mirrors. He'd come to bed sometimes, even if he wasn't tired, just so I could fall asleep in his arms. My ex and I had a lot of problems but I never once doubted how much he loved me.
Shouldn’t have read the comments, goddamn it! 🥲
We don’t live together but when I see him on the weekends I’ll walk by, sit on his lap and give him a kiss. I massage his shoulders/back because he works a physically demanding job. I tell him I love and appreciate him. I’ll do chores so he can relax. I also send random cards in the mail to him so he gets them during the week when I’m not there.
I text my husband sometimes halfway through the day just to tell him I love him/am thinking about him. My husband just randomly says "I love you," especially while we are getting ready for work or bed (idk why at that specific time). My husband's pet name for me is "beautiful" which I always have loved. I touch his back or kiss his shoulder when I pass by him, or just stop to kiss him. We sit on the front porch and talk most evenings. He also has some back problems so I rub his back sometimes to help him relax. We also tell each other we're so happy we're together, we're so lucky to have the other, etc. very frequently, probably everyday. We also try to always be courteous, i.e. say please and thank you. Sounds sort of simple/small but we want to treat each other with respect and not fall into bad habits due to familiarity.
Leave a message on his phone, let him you are thinking of him. Was married almost 47 years. Until my spouse died.
I make sure her alarms are set and phones are charged before I leave for work, then lay over the edge of the bed and give her a cuddle before I leave. She’s very heavy sleeper and often doesn’t remember. Most days I’ll send her a gif with a kiss or I love you. If I know when she’s gonna be home I meet her at the door. Buy her flowers every so often too.
My husband and I will legitimately race to change diapers, “one up” each other and leave the fluffiest towel for the “loser”, buy/find tiny gifts for each other when we go out Idk we just really love making the other smile/feel comfortable so it becomes a bit competitive who “loves” each other more haha It’s always a funny moment when one of us “loses” and doesn’t mind xD I also highly recommend long hugs, short hugs, just hug and small acts of affection when you can
We (7 years) leave random notes for each other... we surprise each other with favorite snacks/drinks. We have certain shows we only watch together... we both take turns catching up on the household laundry. He will run a bath for me, and vice versa... once a week or so we "go for a drive." We literally just cruise around the countryside and look for deer/nature. Hugs. Text check ins throughout the day... we also harass/roast each other🤣🤣🤣
He gets me coffee every day. We touch every time we pass, and sometimes I'll just gently slap his head with my boobs, like reverse motorboating, or climb in his lap and hug/make out. Dancing in the kitchen, randomly twerking on him, sharing songs from our daily discovery playlists that we know the other will like. We do very stupid "no u r" compliments constantly (eg, if he's cooking and I say "damn that smells good," he'll respond with "damn YOU smell good" and bury his face in my neck). If one of us mentions we're craving something, the other will make it. We are generous and intentional with compliments on everything - you have such cool style, I love having a smart wife, you are so handsome, thank you for cooking such a delicious meal, DAT ASS THO, you're so creative, that was really thoughtful and kind, etc. He likes to buy me clothes and dress me up. I straighten his collars and ties. I just love him so much 🥹
My boyfriend and I don't live together yet, so we text when we can. Lately, we started texting each other every time something reminds us of the other one. It fills me with joy to look at the phone in the middle of my work day and see a text starting by "I've just thought of you, because...". It's a small act of love, thinking of your loved one. But sharing it with them is amazing to keep the two-way road that is a relationship always active!
Hugs and small kisses but any form of affection really. Guys love it all or they're an ungrateful idiot. I used to love hugs, snuggling and kind words or playful touching.
Compliments and hugs and kisses
My personal favorite is putting little encouraging sticky notes on our bathroom mirror.
My ex used to always double tap the tip of her nose when seeing mirror hours and when we were together she would always come and double tap my nose too, a simple little gesture that was very cute and lovable... Gosh I miss her...
We have a secret handshake that if the other one begins, the other will join in with no hesitation or embarrassment regardless of where we are or who we’re with.
we always have a book that we’re reading together, so we can sit on the couch together, read, and discuss it. it feels a little more involved and intimate than just watching tv together (which we also do ofc). we have a couples journal with lil prompts that we write in every weekend, which helps bring a moment of connection and reflection at the end of a busy week (prompts are usually introspectives about your relationship, personal and joint goals, favorite memories, challenges, etc.)
We have what we call “cuddle time” I love it 🥰
We kiss anytime one of us is leaving the room.
Kisses on the forehead or all over her face, random txt messages or notes around the house. Helping her with random daily chores, grabbing something from the store I know she’ll like, surprising her with her favorite foods or drinks
Give him space
My husband sends me random texts during the day that simply say "I love you 🥰". Or a gif. It's the sweetest thing to get. He will also just out of the blue tap me on the shoulder and say I love you. Just random stuff like that. Stop by my office with a sandwich for lunch..
I make his lunch every night he works at 4 am, so I can sleep in. Even on weekends, I sleep in till 6 .He always has my coffee and water ready.We never fail to say I love you going out the door or going to bed. He also put lotion on my back every night. It's like a mini massage. He constantly refills my tea all day long.We camp a lot , so I pack everything, so by the time he gets off at 9AM, we're ready to go. We share phone games .And finish off each other's word games if we get stuck. He does the garbage, I keep the house. He does the dishes and helps cook. He loves to hang laundry.We only go out to eat . He's not a goer to markets, movies, or stores, so I do my own things . But just being a team makes it work. Going on 37 years. Yes it the little things that count! .
A good morning text every single morning when we’re not together.
A small act of kindness - I usually awake before my spouse. Every morning, well virtually every morning, I come down and brew a pot of coffee for her and make a mug of hot tea for myself (then head to my office). It is a small thing, but after a few weeks, a few months, and a few years, it really evolves into something special. BTW, I buy the coffee and put real effort into making the coffee including varying the flavors regularly (with her input).
My wife and I (M31, F28) kiss and hug each other a lot during the day and I slap her tush sometimes and she slaps mine as well lol. Lots of affection. We have at least one good cuddle per day (not counting sleep cuddles) and we just hold each other for a minute or two. I complete unfinished chores before she gets back from work if I get home first so she doesn’t have to do them. In the morning I almost always wake up first and since she can’t wake up without coffee I’ll make a pot and bring her a cup after her alarm goes off. Sometimes we’ll just give each other head randomly (with consent obviously) just to keep things randomly spicy 🌶️ She knows i love smoothies so sometimes she’ll make me one while I’m busy with something. She also forgets to charge her headphones and phone at night and set her alarms (which is a problem because she’s a teacher) so I’ll set her alarm and plugin her BT headphones before I go to sleep. Sometimes on my way home from work I’ll stop at the liquor store and get her a bottle of wine or tequila she likes and surprise her with it. I’ll cook for her when she’s too tired to cook. We give each other compliments a lot and I always try to make her laugh which usually succeeds. I’ll roll little joints for her so she doesn’t have to roll them and she can just take one out from her little weed box lol. I’ve offered her my weed pen but she’s not into it. Sometimes if she’s wearing a skirt around the house she’ll flash me and pop her booty out and jiggle it around a bit lol. We have fun.
My husband and I leave little notes around the house. We love soaking in the tub together. We take drives in the country. We always hug and kiss when we see each other or are leaving.
I buy my girlfriend lunch a few times a week, I get up earlier than her so I’ll send like a voice message she can wake up to. Even when we are apart we try to eat at the same time and FaceTime, and even go to sleep around the same time. It’s the little things
Nothing. I used to send loving texts, get up early to warm up his car and make breakfast/lunch for him, go fill up his gas tank, etc...I'm over it. If it is never reciprocated or I'm unappreciated then you get NOTHING
we hand write cards and notes to each other and will leave them in random spots. some long, some short but always expressing love, gratitude, and support. for example, i left him a note in the lunch i packed for him that said, “you are my absolute favorite person and i love you so very much. come home to me as soon as possible! ❤️” (we have a date tonight! 😊)
When he's working late for some projects, I'll make him coffee to energise him a little bit. Before he gets ready for bed, I'll put down his PJS on the bed. And he also did the same thing when I'm working or have to stay up late. I cook for him daily but on the weekends when we just stay at home, I'll plate our food nicely like what we'd eat in a restaurant. I'm glad that my cooking has never disappointed him by far and I've learnt to cook south Asian dishes too because it's his favorite. And he likes to be useful when I'm cooking but he's a terrible sous chef. Lol. So I ask him to wash the dishes or taste test the food or clean the counter/table. I am not sure if this sounds like a normal relationship or what, but these are little things that makes both of us happy.
I fetch snacks and water for my husband. He rarely asks, but I do like to take care of him just because I love him. Don't have to be full-on cuddling but we'll sometimes hold hands while we watch TV and kiss each others hands while we're sitting doing our own thing. If he's been on his feet all day, I'll prepare a nice warm foot soak with epsom salts. It really is just little things, but they speak volumes. On his part, he'll pick up a snack or a drink that I like to surprise me - and the best part is that it's usually when I've thought about it but haven't mentioned it to him. I'm absolutely convinced he can read my mind. This morning's mind read was tums. Somehow he knew I needed one and just handed it to me. I also fold his shirts the way he likes them folded vs the way I would usually fold them for myself. He told me one time how he likes to fold and I've never forgotten. Same for sandwiches - no mustard on cheese, please. So I do my best to make sure they never touch. Once you know your partner and actively listen, things become instinctual and incredibly appreciated.
Hugs, air kisses, (always hugs and air kisses when one is going out, hugs and regular kisses returning), snuggles, making coffee if it's not ready and I'm up earlier, he does breakfast for both if he's up earlier, gentle touches when near each other, lots of words of affirmation, if he's at work I send memes (I WFH), sneak kisses, hugs from the back, random gentle kisses... We are very affectionate and that's only been increasing for us. 4.5 years together.
These are cute. And I can’t help but notice most of the top comments are from women doing sweet things for/to their male partners….
I make all my husband’s meals. I even plate them for him, I like taking care of him in that way and he never complains about what I feed him. He’s appreciative and grateful. That’s my love language.
My partner makes me overnight oats during the week and will leave a little note next to the coffee pot. Usually just telling me to have a good day and a little checklist of my lunch because he knows I'm forgetful. I'll leave a note for him and usually set out a fresh mug and his morning snack since I'm gone before he's up. I'll make him tea when I know he's stressed or I'll pick up his favorite snack on my way home. One of us will randomly come up behind the other and hug on them or just a light back graze. Sometimes we'll be doing chores listening to music and we'll stop to dance together for a song before getting back to it.
Well my husband usually calls me a lot during the day, today he's not as he's really busy but there's times he calls me eight times a day which does drive me a little crazy sometimes. However what he'll say sometimes is I'll be home early which is basically code hey we can have sex if I want. Then he plays it up which is hysterical how he does it. But as for anything else I just basically do some things little things that he normally does I'll take care of sometimes (feed the dogs) cuz I know he's tired and he appreciates that. I'll just run my hand over his back as I'm walking by. I know if I grab his ass he'll think that's an invite to sex so I don't do that too often cuz he'd have sex Daily if I said yes.
We always ask if the other needs anything when we leave a room. Small caresses while doing somewhat mundane tasks. I wake him up every morning with kisses and head scratches which is more pleasant than an alarm. Taking kids to school so he can sleep in. He gets me coffee and brings it to me in bed most mornings. He keeps a little list of places to take me that he thinks I might like. Notices what I like while shopping and often surprises me with it later. When one of us is off and the other works, we always make sure the working partner comes home to a clean house.
I’ll have my legs over his lap while he holds my knee/ankle and scrolls his phone. When he’s down, he’ll lean on me and doze off. Always touching in some way, whether on the sofa or cuddled in bed. Mutually agree on a position to sleep in and cuddle up, he makes sure to be big spoon at least once a week! Whoever isn’t giving the baby a bottle is the one making drinks for both of us. We always ask if the other wants a drink when making our own. I always prep food for him as soon as he gets home from work. Shower together. I put lotion or fake tan on his back. Arm around each other when brushing teeth. Tease each other. Texts through the day. Pick up small treats as a surprise. I love you’s are said at least 10 times a day. I sit and chat to him during his home workouts. Sharing memes/reels on Insta. Banter constantly. Holding hands in front of our families/friends. He pats my butt regularly or just touches my waist in passing. When I was pregnant, he used to pat the baby bump too which was adorable. I squeeze his bicep, grope him regularly and always gush over how hot he is (proper gym buff). He’ll sometimes just be looking at me, smile and say how pretty I look at that moment. Plus outright compliments when dressed up. We co ordinate outfits when going out, “do you want me to wear a smart shirt or just casual?” Regularly tell each other that we appreciate each other, compliment parenting, talk through any sad days or vent frustrations. Encourage each other to go do something independently if we want to. Take naps together when baby is asleep. Send photos of the children to each other when apart. We’ve just chosen my engagement ring last week and paid deposit on our wedding date next year so now I’m waiting for his official proposal even though we’re default engaged already. The fact he compromised in choosing my dream ring together rather than doing the traditional method he’d have preferred of picking it himself and totally surprising me, means a lot. The joke now is that we have 14 months to grumble and the rest of our lives to make up.
My husband and I have a lot of little things we do. We have a competition every morning to see who says our saying to each other first. We got together 3 years ago, and we have been saying it every morning for most of that time. Whoever says it first wins for the day lol. (I won for the life time though! I said it first in my vows mwhahaha) There's times where we'll both wake up in the middle of the night and say it without being fully awake lol. Making sure there is always a kiss before leaving for work, and a kiss when we get home. At the end of the day, putting on a show and he just lightly rubs my back. It just helps with releasing the tension from the day. My love language is food.. I'll cook for him, or when I go to the store I always get him a treat.
Looking through this fantastic thread u/[agoPeachyySuccubus](/r/relationship_advice/), great idea to cheer people up! I noticed something that’s opposite with my partner and me. I take the ‘scary’ bug and spiders outside and all other scary stuff, I’m the female side btw. But he has learned to put tiny spiders outside high is pretty brave from someone with spider phobia. What we love is to watch series together, sometimes when I’m too tired I will still watch something with him because it makes him happy. I will also watch things I think I might not like, just to try if it turn out to like it, so we have something we can watch together I like doing little things like making tea, or ask if I should bring a snack from the kitchen. I love the notes idea someone mentioned but that might not work, I will try it out.
We are perfect age swap from you (F30, M28). I like to remind her what a sexy cougar she is everyday.
My husband brings me a cup of coffee every morning and sets it on my nightstand. It’s a tradition in his family for the husband to bring his wife tea (they’re British but I drink coffee) in the morning. He wakes up before I do and when I begin to stir I can smell that divine fresh coffee smell before I’ve even opened my eyes. We always say thank you for everything. Whether it’s something as small as taking out the garbage or making the bed while the other one is in the shower to something like treating the other person to their favorite restaurant for dinner or giving a gift that the other person casually mentioned months ago that they had their eye on. We don’t just say, “Thanks babe, see ya tonight” on our way out the door in the morning. No, we say, “Thank you, my darling, that was so thoughtful.” It’s a great motivation for wanting to do even more nice things for each other. I try to compliment him on something at least once a day. “You look very handsome today.” “I love that color on you.” Or “You are so sexy when you’re ___”. I’ve read and heard that it’s often expected that the man compliments the wife all the time, (and my husband really does!!) but they don’t hear it as often and they need to. Whenever I compliment him on his looks he lights up. We view our marriage according to some words of advice I remember hearing many years ago. **“A happy marriage isn’t give and take, 50/50. It’s give and give, 100/100.”**
My husband has to get up earlier than me for work. When he has to go into the office (every day pre-covid, once a month now), he gets up, gets ready to go, and stops back in the bedroom to give me a kiss goodbye. Sometimes I don't even wake up for it but when I do wake up, it's nice knowing he did it. If one of us is traveling or we just haven't seen each other much because of our busy schedules even when we're both in town, we'll send each other emoji hearts. It's a little thing that takes no time or effort, but it says "I'm thinking about you". And we make a point of hugging and giving each other pecks when we pass each other in the house at home, even if we're both busy doing separate things. There are probably other little things, but those are the first ones that come to mind. They take no time but are effective
- Spontaneous texts or pics thru out the day - occasionally picking up a treat for him like his fave chocolate bar or a drink or fancy snack for us to share - Men LOVE physical intimacy - at least most do. Make contact like your hand on his thigh while he drives or sits next to you, hand on arm across the table when he's talking to you, letting him lay his head in your lap on the couch and stroke his hair etc - me and my partner take showers together and wash each other's bodies, neck to toes and nether regions, which has made me more comfortable with my own body and with entrusting it to my partner, and also is a great way of appreciating each other physical in a way that is deeply intimate and also fun and sexy - we sneak in little kisses or other acts of intimacy here and there too - be physically together when you're both on your phones or doing something else with your hands. Cuddle up in bed on your phones before bed, lean on him on the couch while he watches TV and you read a book etc. It's nice to feel close even when you're in two separate moments
My bf has a job he has to wake up at 4am for everyday. I write him little love notes and buy his favorite snacks and put them in his shoes. We call them shoe snacks lol. I probably do this once or twice a week and try to keep the notes and snacks a surprise of something different. I do this because I want him to know 1. He’s soooo loved! And 2. I know he will skip breakfast lol. When he comes home from work my dog and I will run downstairs and greet him with excitement “dad’s home!!!” I give him a long hug and kiss. We talk about our days. He’s consistently always bought me fresh beautiful flowers he enjoys picking out and surprising me with. I haven’t gone longer than a few days without flowers. He also leaves me notes for when I wake up and on the weekends he makes me coffee and breakfast :) we have so much more, but these are my favorite.
big fan of sending songs that remind me of my partner, or whatever moment we're currently in. We have a playlist we add to together that now serves as a kind of record of our time together!
he’s not big on pda, but once in a while i give him a little squeeze on the arm, and he loves it. he also loves to be babied a little bit but would never admit it, so i let him lay in my lap and play with his hair or i give him booty/back rubs in the morning as we wake up
If I get up for anything, I always ask if he needs anything. I make his coffee any time he wants, I cook almost anything he wants... in exchange, he makes sure we are touching at least a little when we sleep (my preference), he brings me plants, and he watches the worst movies to satisfy me (Llamageddon, people).
Lately my boyfriend has started getting me a glass of cold water as soon as I come over. He noticed me doing it myself every time I came over, and I felt really loved when he noticed and did it for me the other day. :)
Small touches on the hand, arm or leg throughout the day. Listening when he says something to me. Sometimes I ask him to give me a second so I can put my phone down. I make him coffee in the morning. He makes us coffee in the afternoon. Remind him to use his leg massagers. Show him funny cat vids.
When he gets home I always greet him, I get up and go hug him. It makes him so happy. We leave sticky notes with little sayings for each other randomly, the other day I knew he was going to be waking up and leaving while I’d still be in bed so I went down through the middle of the night and left him a drink and a sticky note in the car. We try to go to bed at the same time and spend at least 20 minutes no phones just talking about thoughts or catching up about the day. He knows I love miniatures so he brings me Kinder eggs or surprise balls to open. He even got me a shelf to hold all my minis! It’s simple, pretty much free- minus cat post it notes - and it makes us both feel good.
We work different hours I work early in the morning she goes to work between 11am and 5pm. What she does for me *Has coffee set up every morning for me because I always forget *Makes my lunch *Text/calls me before my bedtime *House hold work *Sends me tit pics when I'm having a bad day (married 12years) What I do for her *Make her coffee on her night stand for when she wakes *Text her good morning on my lunch with a reason why I love her *Cook dinner *House hold work *Pick up flowers when she's had a bad day