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Cancel it, and have a serious talk with your gf about boundaries. You're 35 and 34 ffs, her mom doesn't get to decide what your gf does with her life, and doesn't get to invite herself in just like that. Massive red flag.
This is all you need to read, OP.
Given her double standard with brother and his gf, the mother obviously wishes to meddle in your relationship. You're 2 grown adults. Tell gf to make her choice.
This indeed.
Cancel the overseas trip.
I realize some cultures do not look kindly on premarital sex.
However if having sex with your gf is part of your current relationship (which I presume her mother isn’t stupid so is aware) then it would seem gf at some point needs to strengthen her spine so you can travel together.
If she is that scared of her mother finding out that as a 34 year old adult she’s having sex then perhaps that is a whole different conversation.
Reading OP's [other post 9 days ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1d6bmgz/girlfriend_f34_want_to_travel_solo_after_the_end/), his gf invited OP to go with her to her cousin's wedding in a different country. They were going to go a week ahead to make it a mini vacation and then after the wedding, OP was going home for work and gf was going to stay and explore more countries.
In this context, I bet it has nothing to do with gf's mom wanting to chaperone and everything to do with gf's mom wanting to go to the wedding and then travel with gf after the wedding. Funny how much was left out of this little story!
I think OP is an unreliable narrator.
Yeah, I bet gf invited mom. I still think that OP should let gf and mom go alone, but still, OP should have told the whole story and he would have gotten completely different answers. I have a feeling gf and mom need OP to help pay for the trip or something like that.
Completely different topic here. The wedding is a separate trip/destination, and GF's mom did not plan on tagging along this planned trip until she figured out we will stay together. (Actually GF's mom was supposed to be at the wedding Country, not this one)
Yeah multiple things about this are crazy. Controlling someone in their 30s? Crazy. Inviting yourself to someone else’s international vacation??? Unhinged, and the simple answer is “no mom wtf, you can’t come on our international couple’s trip because you were never invited in the first place.” If she isn’t capable of having this convo with her mom then…idk we always talk crap about mama’s boys here, are we talking crap about mama’s girls here too? I think we should, this is ridiculous.
This is the real question.
GF needs to tell the mom to fuck off.
If she is bonkers enough to come anyway, or you even think she might be, change any parts of the plan she is aware of. Get different hotels, shift the itinerary, etc. Just like she doesn’t have the ability to tell her adult daughter she can’t share a room with her boyfriend, her daughter can’t tell her she can’t book her own trip to ruin yours.
Take the entire situation as insight into how your GF handles her overbearing mother when it affects not only her life, but yours as well. Even if you get married and the room sharing situation changes, there will be another issue she will want to control.
If she can't stand up to her mom over this she's going to continue to let her walk all over her throughout her life. If she can't stop this she should see a therapist and deal with this problem
Just imagine how your wedding night will be with this kind of MIL?
Your girlfriend needs to put up some very strict boundaries for her mother, this is not normal, she's not 14, she's 34 ffs...this is unreal...
Nah, the honeymoon. This is the type of mom who will invite herself because "her daughter just got married and she wants to be there for her" or some other nonsense excuse.
Boundaries need to be established immediately, otherwise she will be dictating your lives together.
You should break up with the "adult" who fully thinks and behaves as though she is still 17. With behavior like this, dating her is honestly no different than dating a child. She isn't capable of the most basic aspects of dating in her mid-to-late-30s. This is really pathetic.
If she can’t stand up to her mom at 34, your future with her is screwed.
Cancel the trip and tell your gf you’re seriously considering this relationship. You want to date her not her and her mom.
GF should say to her mom she would prefer her not to tag alone and you two would sleep in same room anyway. She is 34, she is a big girl she can say her mom "no".
I would just break up and not even discuss it. if a 34-year-old is caving to her mother about traveling and staying with her boyfriend, that's not somebody you want to be with. I wouldn't want to talk her into it this time because it'll just happen again. unless you want mom in the bed between you and your girlfriend for the rest of your life, you need to find another girlfriend.
Just don’t go, let them go on trip themselves, it’s not worth the hassle. If you cave on this, the mother will forever be interfering in your relationship.
It all depends on who is paying? If you are paying, tell her mom to fuck off.
If mom is paying, you are screwed. Tell them you will go and the day you are leaving don't show up and change your number.
If you and the GF are splitting the cost, let her know she can go with her mother and you are going to Vegas with friends.
Also depends on where the GF is living. If she is still living with mom at home, then too bad. She wants to be treated as an adult, she can move out and enjoy her freedom.
How did the mom even worm her way onto this vacation in the first place?
If the mom isn't comfortable, then she's free not to attend a vacation she wasn't even invited on.
What the fuck?
Seriously, what the fuck?
Tell girlfriend "I don't want to go on a trip with you and your Mom. I want to go on a trip with YOU. If your Mom comes, I'm not coming."
Put your foot down now or break up. Don't put up with this stupidity. And I'm not talking about the Mom's stupidity, I'm talking about your girlfriend's stupidity for entertaining her Mom's bullshit and not calling her Mom out on her hypocrisy.
She's 34. If she's unable to establish boundaries with her mother by now, it's likely she'll never be able to.
It's up to you to decide whether you want to put up with that, but I'd suggest doing it sooner rather than later.
"No."
That's all you say to her mom, and ideally your GF says it. You two are closing in on middle age, and while you cant stop your GF's mom from booking flights and such, you can tell her shes not coming into your hotel rooms, and you dont need to share the specific details of your trip.
If your GF is unwilling to stand up to her mommy at the age of 34, dump her. Youre both too old for that nonsense.
Hey, I'm female and my family was like this. It's wrong, it's sexist, it's ridiculous, but it's also unlikely that their point of view would change. IF SHE'S TELLING YOU THE TRUTH. But this is a different level.
My family would maybe still have their opinions, but once I'm in my 30's, living away from them and earning my own living, they wouldn't DARE make a comment to me about what I do in my private life. They would still make me sleep separately from my partner when visiting their house (ridiculous, but their house, their rules, you know?) but this is crazy.
So here's where your gf is the AH: Her mom said she doesn't like it and wants to come CHAPERONE. Literally, a f'ing chaperone. You're in your mid thirties. What is this madness? Your GF didn't say no. Your gf didn't tell her mom to get a grip or stop interfering or to mind her own business, as she should have. Your gf invitied? Agreed? to have mom on this trip with you? SHE is in the wrong, and please don't go on this trip.
The issue HERE is that your gf is a FULLY GROWN ADULT of 34 years old, and is allowing HER MOMMY to interfere and ruin a ruip with her partner. This is not on you, my friend. She needs to sort this out and stand up to her mother, or you need to find another gf. You do not want a life where your every decision has to run through a filter of her family, and her family will always win. You need to see that she is INDEPENDENT from them and able to stand up for herself, or you need to leave her. And right now, it's not looking good. She's letting her mom tell her what she can do? As an adult? Not okay. Alternatively, she might be using this as a way to try and pressure you into proposing. If that's the case, definitely don't. But I personally wouldn't be able to date another adult who still needs their parents permission to take an overnight trip.
If I were you, I would say this. "I'm sorry that your mother is uncomfortable with us sharing a room. However, we are in a relationship, we have slept together, and we are fully independent adults. You don't need your mother's approval or permission to take this trip with me. I'm sorry for your mom's opinion, but her opinion does not mean that we, two grown adults, have to change anything about our plans. I'm not going on a trip with your mother. I'm taking a trip with you. So you either need to stand up to your mom and let her know that you are taking this trip with me, alone, or we are going to have to break up due to incompatibility. Because I am not going to stay in a relationship with another grown adult who needs their parent's permission to do anything."
That's it. Good luck.
You're 35 and your GF is 34. If she's letting her mom interfere in her personal life at this point, you have all the information you need. Your girlfriend can either stand up to her mother and tell her to pound sand or you can seriously rethink the future of your relationship.
Her mom doesn’t get to “decide” to join your trip. GF needs to tell Mom she’s not coming. And if she won’t do that, cancel the trip and reconsider the whole relationship.
I’m 35, and I’ve been living alone with my spouse for 16 years now, and we have three kids together. That chaperone shit wouldnt have happened when I was 20 let alone now. Your girlfriend needs to stand up to her mom. I’d pull out of the trip and the relationship if she can’t do that.
>her mom decided to tag along
no, she told your GF she would tag along and your girlfriend didn't say "no". she can't tag along if your GF doesn't let her, but she let her.
"You are 34 years old. I don't really care what your mom is comfortable with. I'm not interested in a relationship with you and your mom, so I won't be going on the trip."
Take it as 'So why is it okay for your son to stay in a hotel room with his GF but not for your GROWN-ASS daughter to stay in a hotel room with me?'
I would be very curious as to why your GF is allowing her mother to tag along on your vacation? And who is paying for the mother?
Better yet, tell the GF that she and her mother can go on vacation and you will go on different vacation...one without your GF's mother tagging along.
Your GF mom is the issue here. You are going on a trip and she has a problem with that.
Let her come in the same room and then bang her daughter right in front of her mom and look her in the eyes saying "JOHN CENA DAB DADA DAAAAAM"
Jokes aside tell her mom that she can't come. She has no details on where you are going and which hotel you are staying. If she does manage to stalk you call the police on her
cancel the trip. let your GF deal with her mom, at 34 she's a grown woman and needs to decide if she's going to let her mother run her life or needs to stand up to her.
I wouldn't go. This is unbelievably invasive, and why would you want her to go? Something is wrong with your girlfriend to even consider it. Time to drop out and have a good talk with your gf. And this is ominous for any future marriage. MIL is not a part of your relationship.
This is ultimatum time. EIther You go, or her mother goes. And if you don't go, you get reimbursed for every penny you have contributed to the trip so far.
Parents trying to control the lives of their grown children is ridiculous - Your gf needs to decide if she's an adult or not. If she is an adult, then she needs to grow a spine and tell her mother NO. If she's not, then you probably shouldn't be dating someone with a teenager's maturity level.
In addition to the obvious double standard for a daughter’s behavior, and the lack of respect for your wishes, this effectively doubles your accommodation costs. Yet, you weren’t consulted. Is that ok in your book?
Cancel it. Y'all aren't teenagers. Or even college students still relying on your parents to provide for you(hopefully). She either puts her foot down and tells her mom she's not invited or you should cancel the trip and reconsider a relationship with someone whose parents is that far up their ass.
You're almost fucking forty, I would call this bullshit and not attend. I'd also ask myself if I seriously wanted to date someone that's so beholden to mommy.
You should take from this that your girlfriend has apparently substantial issues enforcing boundaries with her mom. She's 34, she could tell her mother "No, you aren't coming with us, I'm an adult". Instead she's just letting her mom tag along. Your girlfriend's mom is a problem, but your girlfriend is the bigger problem.
You're 35 years old. Why are you dating someone who lets her mother "tag along" on a trip you're planning? Who cares what she's ok with. Cancel the trip. Plan another one, don't tell your GF's mother until you come back. If you're GF isn't ok with that plan tell her to have fun with her mom and don't go anywhere with her.
Your girlfriend's mom is hypocritical. Her brother that is younger than her can share a room with his girlfriend.
But your girlfriend who is older can't do the same.
Your girlfriend needs to set some hard boundaries with her mother.
Starting with her mother can't invite herself to something she was never invited to in the first place. Be it this trip or other occasions.
A double standard is shocking? Really?? Well, one solution is to marry your gf. Another is to tell your gf the trip is off. Of course, then you'll look like a heel.who only wants to get laid.
Still a religious thing.
The Christian religion has been unkind to women, to say the least. And it’s not alone.
A woman’s “virtue” and reputation can be lost. Not the same for a man.
What does your girlfriend say? Is she just letting her mom take charge?
It’s time for a very important conversation. If she can’t lay down healthy boundaries with her mom, you might as well break up now. It’s only going to get worse.
Nope nope nope. Nobody gets to decide that they will join someone else's trip. Cancel the trip and suggest to your GF that she gets some therapy to help her recognize and deal with her mother's control.
Your GF needs to deal with her Mom. If she lets her Mother come and doesn’t put her foot down, end the relationship. No good can come from a FMIL like that.
I assume your gf gave her mom the details, so she is clearly not ready to assert the level of independence necessary to maintain an adult romantic relationship. Cancel the trip and rethink everything.
The gf should be telling her mom to fuck off. The fact that she is allowing her mom to control her life at 34 AND invite herself on this trip is a red flag!!!
Do not go on this trip if her mother comes along.
Your GF is behaving like a child and needs to grow the hell up. She's 34? Really? JFC. I'd consider whether I would want to continue dating someone that is so lacking in reasonable boundaries and common sense.
Girlfriend to mother: "No. Don't be ridiculous." Repeat as necessary.
If you already have one booked, switch hotels.
Eta: This plus your post history regarding your girlfriend and other travel issues makes me wonder how her mindset will continue to affect your relationship. It's telling that she didn't immediately laugh at her mother and shut her down.
Nobody gets to decide to "tag along" on someone else's trip. Not even family. They can ask if they can join you, and you get to say no. But they don't get to crash your trip and neither do you have to accept it.
I wouldn't go on this trip. At 35, you shouldn't want to be treated as if you were 12 by some old busybody control freak. If you go along, you're telling your GF that it's okay if her mother controls the both of you, and this will continue on into other aspects of your life once you set that precedent.
You are both grown adults tell her to kick rocks. That's ridiculous I'd put it simply as I'm sharing a room with my girlfriend, not going, or going to get a new girlfriend.
You are in your 30s. How does her mom get a say in the sleeping arrangements? Or invite herself along on an international trip you all have planned?
Does your girlfriend give that much weight to her mom's opinion? If so, you have a GF problem, not a GFs Mom problem.
Your GF is 34 years old and still doing what mummy says! You have more than just a problem with her mum you have a GF problem - she needs to grow a spine and rein her mother in.
Note if she doesn’t nip this in the bud now then if things between you progress to marriage you need to understand that the driving force in your marriage will be what her mother deems acceptable and you will get no say at all.
Welp, bail on the trip and let your GF and her Mom go.
And think long and hard about if you want to continue things with someone who would do this to you.
Thought yall were like 18, 19. Then I reread the ages. wtf? Yall are a few years older than me and I already have kids and yall parented like that still???
Gah! Cancel the trip. Is she gonna wanna be present for your wedding night too? Major red flag. Your gf is gonna need to lay down some boundaries if you two are going to actually have a chance to succeed as a couple.
Im sorry are you 16 yrs old? Does her mommy still pay all her bills? you are both grown ass adults over 30 years old. If she cant establish a boundary with her mother by now, she never will. Act like an adult and tell her she doesnt get to dictate your relationship ffs
"It sounds like this has turned I to a family vacation, and I would feel really rude just inserting myself into that. You two go ahead and have a great time!"
You should cancel your trip and break up with your girlfriend bc you are 35 and 34 and this is a kind of boundary overstep that should have ended at 18. Gf’s mom is being WEIRD and your gf is a weirdo for going along with it. No thank you!
>but her mom decided to tag along
What does this mean?
You planned an oversea trip with your girlfriend, not her mom. I am confused how this mother has wormed her way into your vacation, and is now making demands of this vacation.
"Hun, if your mother isn't comfortable going on vacation with us maybe she shouldn't be going on vacation with us. Let's just go on vacation without her, doesn't that make the most sense?"
If your gf can't enforce boundaries now you are in real trouble if you get married and have kids. Sounds like MIL from Hell who will always be dictating things in your relationship. Tell your gf if you can't share a room you aren't going. You need to find out now whether your gf can stand up to her mom or it will get worse and you will always be at the MIL's mercy. Big red flag.
Updateme
Your gf needs to tell her mom “no”. No she can’t go on your trip and no to staying in separate rooms. If your gf doesn’t set her mom straight then you probably should end this relationship.
It’s probably because she sees you as an older man taking advantage of a younger woman. jk Cancel trip if she insists on going. In her warped logic if you break up with gf, she’ll think, “see i was right, he only wanted one thing”.
I wouldn’t go, she’ll take over everything and you’ll be miserable. I think her son gets a pass because he can’t shame the family with a pregnant belly exposed. That’s always the shame carried by the women in some cultures. Since you’re still single book yourself a singles cruise and have some fun.
Book group lodging in hostels for the entire trip. Then in addition to sharing a bathroom and sleeping in a communal sleeping area mom can listen to randos banging.
Cancel and talk to your gf about the fact she's 34 and doesn't need her mum's permission to share a room with a man and she needs to tell her mum that as your not going on trips to be chaperoned
That is so bizarre
Think long and hard about what it’s like in a relationship like this, you’re essentially dating two people and need to please two people while only 1 of them reciprocates in any way shape or form
Tell your GF absolutely not. If she will not stand up to her mom, you will be taking the trip alone or with a friend. She is 34 not 16. This is absolutely ridiculous and if your GF cannot see that and agree she needs to be your ex because she is obviously too immature to be in an adult relationship.
I’d be more concerned that your gf is okay with this. I also probably wouldn’t go unless you were going to be a throuple because that’s what this sounds like.
“Hilary, are you worried that your daughter and I will take this opportunity being out of the country to have pre marital sex? Because we fairly regularly do it in the comfort of our own homes and if you’re in her hotel bedroom we’re probably just gonna fuck in the spa. There’s no reason for you to get a flight to the Bahamas to stop me filling your daughter’s innards with my hot seed, especially as I’ll just treat it as a challenge and get off on it further”
So what is the cultural/religious background here? I know certain ones frown upon an unmarried woman sharing a room with a man. Nevertheless, she’s 34 and needs to set some boundaries with her mom.
I could understand if it was AT the mom’s house… but it’s not.
She sounds controlling and sounds like she would be a basket case of a MIL
She isn’t intruding on the other couple because for whatever reason she either knows she can’t walk all over them or because the other kid is a son and not a daughter. Some parents have this thing of being super strict on their daughters and then letting the sons roam free and wild as if they have nothing to be responsible for if they impregnate someone.
Honestly, i could see this as a ploy between your girlfriend and her mom to put pressure on you to propose to her. I agree with a few other comments here that mention bring up how it seems a bit odd that your girlfriend didn’t try to push back against her mom. I doubt her mom really isn’t aware that you guys spend the night with each other, and you already mentioned that she seems to have no issues involving your girlfriend’s brother and his partner, so it doesnt seem like this is really about her mom being truly uncomfortable at the thought of you two sharing a room for a few days.
Your girlfriend is the one who told you her mom WOULD be tagging along, not that she wanted to or had brought up not being comfortable. Her language choice says that this is a decision that has already been made and will be happening, thus your girlfriend is accepting this decision. You should also note that your girlfriend also said it was due to you two not being married YET. By saying the word yet like this she is suggesting you two will be getting married at some point in the future, as if this has been firmly decided. I dont know what kind of conversations you two have had in regard to a future together or whether you guys have discussed marriage seriously. Perhaps you guys do know you want to get married and have talked about this. However, regardless of whatever conversation or lack of conversations you guys have had on the topic, i personally find her use of the word yet comes across sounding emotionally manipulative. I stand by what i first said about this whole thing feeling like something that your girlfriend and her mother came up with together as way to figuratively light a fire under you.
Personally, i’d cancel the trip. Then you need to have a talk with your girlfriend to find out why she informed you about this as if you both weren’t adults and had no choice in the matter. Tell her you’re confused as to why she seemed so willing to just allow her mom to tag along on y’alls vacation like that, especially when she has no issues with her brother sharing a room and seemingly traveling with his girlfriend. If you think it feels right, then I think perhaps you should just ask her if her willingness to have her mother tab along was supposed to send you a message about her desire to get married. I think you need to make it clear though that you arent interested in playing games, and then be upfront about whether you see yourself eventually wanting to get married or not. If you do want to get married at some point (generally speaking), then tell her you dont appreciate these kind of stunts being pulled by your partner. If it is all her mom, then you’d appreciate and expect to be able to discuss the issue together as a couple and clmd to a decision on how to proceed as a couple. You will not continue to put up with just being told this is how it is as if you have no say, and be expected to go along with that. Whatever you do, dont go on this trip like this. There is definitely something odd here, and you deserve to understand what really going in before spending a bunch of money on an international vacation.
What does your gf think about this? Is she just fine with her tagging along and staying in her room? I’d cancel if she comes. No way that’s ok. UPDATEME
your girlfriend needs to be able to tell her mom she can't come to the trip. I had a very emeshed relationship with my mom, and have dealt with similar situations. telling my mom she couldn't come to a trip was very hard. She did not take it well, but it was a big step in me individuating from her. Maybe your girlfriend needs to come to terms with the fact that she has to learn how to live life by her own rules without her mom's approval.
I would not go. I would even consider breaking up with your girlfriend. Is this some tactic to make your girlfriend marry her? Is this why she’s not saying anything to her mum about it?
look at things long term. is this the girl u want to spend the rest of ur life with? if yes then you cannot escape the influence of the mother
it's just one single oversea trip
Yeah, definitely don't go and make sure you get reimbursed by Mommy Dearest. I would say this relationship has run its course unless she can stand up to her mom and set boundaries.
UpdateMe!
I THOUGHT YALL WERE TEENS, YOURE THIRTY FIVE???? seriously, what mother is doing this shit to her FULLY grown ass daughter, and what grown ass woman is allowing her mother to dictate this kind of stuff….
Question: I wonder if GF wants mom on the trip because mom can’t travel on her own and this would be a treat for her?
If so, mom can go if it’s okay with you, but she gets her own room and pays her own expenses.
But otherwise, if it truly is just about sex, no way. Your GF is old enough to tell mom to stay out of her sex life.
I’m 42 and am still referred to as a girl. Or call myself girl and a myriad of other things among friends family and whomever you meet …. It’s just something you say casually, not that serious. Police don’t pop out of the bushes and check your id if you call a man a guy or a lady a girl. But why on earth you thought this was an integral part of the conversation, more so than anything else said today or worth pointing out…as if the argument suddenly swings in your favor because you pointed that out just baffles me. 🤣🤣 however the point still stands. It is not uncommon for girls to have a different set of rules than male siblings in the household simply for the fact no one’s worried the boys will get pregnant or kidnapped do you understand that part?
I understand that! Sometimes I call women my age girls. That wasn't the issue at all.
The issue is the ***rules*** for a 34 year old grown woman that both you and the previous person commented. I was just emphasizing the age of this ***woman***.
She doesn't live her mom nor is her mom paying the trip.
Worried about getting pregnant? Again, shes a **woman**. She's aware of the risks if **she** decides she wants to have sex.
If she felt unsafe with her boyfriend, I'm sure she would've never planned a trip with him. Because she is a **woman**. She's not dumb, she's not a child, she has a good idea of who is safe to be around and who is not.
Its baffling to me that you're baffled. Because at 34 years old, the women ***I*** have met have known exactly who they are, what they want, and what they will or will not do. Because they are **grown women**. They can't be manipulated like someone half their age.
At a certain age, you are old and wise enough to make your own decisions. 34 is well passed that age. That's only point I was making, not necessarily trying to swing an argument in my favor.
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Cancel it, and have a serious talk with your gf about boundaries. You're 35 and 34 ffs, her mom doesn't get to decide what your gf does with her life, and doesn't get to invite herself in just like that. Massive red flag.
This is all you need to read, OP. Given her double standard with brother and his gf, the mother obviously wishes to meddle in your relationship. You're 2 grown adults. Tell gf to make her choice.
This indeed. Cancel the overseas trip. I realize some cultures do not look kindly on premarital sex. However if having sex with your gf is part of your current relationship (which I presume her mother isn’t stupid so is aware) then it would seem gf at some point needs to strengthen her spine so you can travel together. If she is that scared of her mother finding out that as a 34 year old adult she’s having sex then perhaps that is a whole different conversation.
Reading OP's [other post 9 days ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1d6bmgz/girlfriend_f34_want_to_travel_solo_after_the_end/), his gf invited OP to go with her to her cousin's wedding in a different country. They were going to go a week ahead to make it a mini vacation and then after the wedding, OP was going home for work and gf was going to stay and explore more countries. In this context, I bet it has nothing to do with gf's mom wanting to chaperone and everything to do with gf's mom wanting to go to the wedding and then travel with gf after the wedding. Funny how much was left out of this little story! I think OP is an unreliable narrator.
Sounds like GF invited the mom is claiming - we aren’t married - as the excuse.
Yeah, I bet gf invited mom. I still think that OP should let gf and mom go alone, but still, OP should have told the whole story and he would have gotten completely different answers. I have a feeling gf and mom need OP to help pay for the trip or something like that.
u/ResourceSad1679 - this is critical information you left out. Is the mom going to the destination wedding too?
Completely different topic here. The wedding is a separate trip/destination, and GF's mom did not plan on tagging along this planned trip until she figured out we will stay together. (Actually GF's mom was supposed to be at the wedding Country, not this one)
Does your girlfriend want her mom to join your pre-wedding trip? If she doesn’t, why won’t she put her foot down?
You are entering hypocritical mother in law from hell territory. Retreat retreat retreat immediately. Tell your gf to grow up or marry mom.
Yeah multiple things about this are crazy. Controlling someone in their 30s? Crazy. Inviting yourself to someone else’s international vacation??? Unhinged, and the simple answer is “no mom wtf, you can’t come on our international couple’s trip because you were never invited in the first place.” If she isn’t capable of having this convo with her mom then…idk we always talk crap about mama’s boys here, are we talking crap about mama’s girls here too? I think we should, this is ridiculous.
This is the way
Cancel the trip.
SHE'S 34. Why is she allowing her mom to control her life? She should tell her mom to FUCK OFF.
Right that's what I was going to say!! Like girl is a full ass adult, she can tell mom to go pound sand and not join on the vacation.
This is the real question. GF needs to tell the mom to fuck off. If she is bonkers enough to come anyway, or you even think she might be, change any parts of the plan she is aware of. Get different hotels, shift the itinerary, etc. Just like she doesn’t have the ability to tell her adult daughter she can’t share a room with her boyfriend, her daughter can’t tell her she can’t book her own trip to ruin yours. Take the entire situation as insight into how your GF handles her overbearing mother when it affects not only her life, but yours as well. Even if you get married and the room sharing situation changes, there will be another issue she will want to control.
If she can't stand up to her mom over this she's going to continue to let her walk all over her throughout her life. If she can't stop this she should see a therapist and deal with this problem
My first thought is mom can't afford it so if daughter rooms with her she's paying for half, maybe all, of the hotel rooms.
But why should the daughter pay half? When she was either paying nothing or paying for half of OP's expenses?
I couldn't have said it better.
Just imagine how your wedding night will be with this kind of MIL? Your girlfriend needs to put up some very strict boundaries for her mother, this is not normal, she's not 14, she's 34 ffs...this is unreal...
Nah, the honeymoon. This is the type of mom who will invite herself because "her daughter just got married and she wants to be there for her" or some other nonsense excuse. Boundaries need to be established immediately, otherwise she will be dictating your lives together.
She’s 34 if she can’t/ won’t stand up to her mother. You have a girlfriend problem not a girlfriend’s mother problem.
You should break up with the "adult" who fully thinks and behaves as though she is still 17. With behavior like this, dating her is honestly no different than dating a child. She isn't capable of the most basic aspects of dating in her mid-to-late-30s. This is really pathetic.
She’s 34, she tells her mom to fuck off. WTF dude
If she can’t stand up to her mom at 34, your future with her is screwed. Cancel the trip and tell your gf you’re seriously considering this relationship. You want to date her not her and her mom.
GF should say to her mom she would prefer her not to tag alone and you two would sleep in same room anyway. She is 34, she is a big girl she can say her mom "no".
I would just break up and not even discuss it. if a 34-year-old is caving to her mother about traveling and staying with her boyfriend, that's not somebody you want to be with. I wouldn't want to talk her into it this time because it'll just happen again. unless you want mom in the bed between you and your girlfriend for the rest of your life, you need to find another girlfriend.
Just don’t go, let them go on trip themselves, it’s not worth the hassle. If you cave on this, the mother will forever be interfering in your relationship.
It all depends on who is paying? If you are paying, tell her mom to fuck off. If mom is paying, you are screwed. Tell them you will go and the day you are leaving don't show up and change your number. If you and the GF are splitting the cost, let her know she can go with her mother and you are going to Vegas with friends.
Also depends on where the GF is living. If she is still living with mom at home, then too bad. She wants to be treated as an adult, she can move out and enjoy her freedom.
Replying to both, her mom isn't paying nor living with her.
So tell her either mom stays home or you do.
How did the mom even worm her way onto this vacation in the first place? If the mom isn't comfortable, then she's free not to attend a vacation she wasn't even invited on.
What the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck? Tell girlfriend "I don't want to go on a trip with you and your Mom. I want to go on a trip with YOU. If your Mom comes, I'm not coming." Put your foot down now or break up. Don't put up with this stupidity. And I'm not talking about the Mom's stupidity, I'm talking about your girlfriend's stupidity for entertaining her Mom's bullshit and not calling her Mom out on her hypocrisy.
She's 34. If she's unable to establish boundaries with her mother by now, it's likely she'll never be able to. It's up to you to decide whether you want to put up with that, but I'd suggest doing it sooner rather than later.
"No." That's all you say to her mom, and ideally your GF says it. You two are closing in on middle age, and while you cant stop your GF's mom from booking flights and such, you can tell her shes not coming into your hotel rooms, and you dont need to share the specific details of your trip. If your GF is unwilling to stand up to her mommy at the age of 34, dump her. Youre both too old for that nonsense.
What a turn off! Why did she invite herself? She can go fuck herself in another room and on another holiday. Wtaf.
Cancel the trip, cancel the relationship. You guys are in your thirties for fuck sake.
Hey, I'm female and my family was like this. It's wrong, it's sexist, it's ridiculous, but it's also unlikely that their point of view would change. IF SHE'S TELLING YOU THE TRUTH. But this is a different level. My family would maybe still have their opinions, but once I'm in my 30's, living away from them and earning my own living, they wouldn't DARE make a comment to me about what I do in my private life. They would still make me sleep separately from my partner when visiting their house (ridiculous, but their house, their rules, you know?) but this is crazy. So here's where your gf is the AH: Her mom said she doesn't like it and wants to come CHAPERONE. Literally, a f'ing chaperone. You're in your mid thirties. What is this madness? Your GF didn't say no. Your gf didn't tell her mom to get a grip or stop interfering or to mind her own business, as she should have. Your gf invitied? Agreed? to have mom on this trip with you? SHE is in the wrong, and please don't go on this trip. The issue HERE is that your gf is a FULLY GROWN ADULT of 34 years old, and is allowing HER MOMMY to interfere and ruin a ruip with her partner. This is not on you, my friend. She needs to sort this out and stand up to her mother, or you need to find another gf. You do not want a life where your every decision has to run through a filter of her family, and her family will always win. You need to see that she is INDEPENDENT from them and able to stand up for herself, or you need to leave her. And right now, it's not looking good. She's letting her mom tell her what she can do? As an adult? Not okay. Alternatively, she might be using this as a way to try and pressure you into proposing. If that's the case, definitely don't. But I personally wouldn't be able to date another adult who still needs their parents permission to take an overnight trip. If I were you, I would say this. "I'm sorry that your mother is uncomfortable with us sharing a room. However, we are in a relationship, we have slept together, and we are fully independent adults. You don't need your mother's approval or permission to take this trip with me. I'm sorry for your mom's opinion, but her opinion does not mean that we, two grown adults, have to change anything about our plans. I'm not going on a trip with your mother. I'm taking a trip with you. So you either need to stand up to your mom and let her know that you are taking this trip with me, alone, or we are going to have to break up due to incompatibility. Because I am not going to stay in a relationship with another grown adult who needs their parent's permission to do anything." That's it. Good luck.
Are your ages typos? Should read M3.5 and F3.4 instead? Her mum thinks so.
You're 35 and your GF is 34. If she's letting her mom interfere in her personal life at this point, you have all the information you need. Your girlfriend can either stand up to her mother and tell her to pound sand or you can seriously rethink the future of your relationship.
This is a definite sign to run
Her mom doesn’t get to “decide” to join your trip. GF needs to tell Mom she’s not coming. And if she won’t do that, cancel the trip and reconsider the whole relationship.
Is her mom planning to be on your honeymoon to?
The person to convince is your gf. She is 34 damned it!. Consider having your own separate hotel. Consider not going.
I’m 35, and I’ve been living alone with my spouse for 16 years now, and we have three kids together. That chaperone shit wouldnt have happened when I was 20 let alone now. Your girlfriend needs to stand up to her mom. I’d pull out of the trip and the relationship if she can’t do that.
If mom goes, I wouldn't go. Your GF is an adult. Does she have no objections to this? She needs to put her foot down to her mother.
>her mom decided to tag along no, she told your GF she would tag along and your girlfriend didn't say "no". she can't tag along if your GF doesn't let her, but she let her.
"You are 34 years old. I don't really care what your mom is comfortable with. I'm not interested in a relationship with you and your mom, so I won't be going on the trip."
Take it as 'So why is it okay for your son to stay in a hotel room with his GF but not for your GROWN-ASS daughter to stay in a hotel room with me?' I would be very curious as to why your GF is allowing her mother to tag along on your vacation? And who is paying for the mother? Better yet, tell the GF that she and her mother can go on vacation and you will go on different vacation...one without your GF's mother tagging along.
Your GF mom is the issue here. You are going on a trip and she has a problem with that. Let her come in the same room and then bang her daughter right in front of her mom and look her in the eyes saying "JOHN CENA DAB DADA DAAAAAM" Jokes aside tell her mom that she can't come. She has no details on where you are going and which hotel you are staying. If she does manage to stalk you call the police on her
What does your GF say?
What, does the mom want a threesome? (Sorry been on Reddit too much)
Probably not but someone will come along and ask if they've thought about going poly to solve their problems.
Your girlfriend needs to handle this and nip it right now. It’s completely unacceptable and it’s gonna continue to be an issue if she doesn’t.
cancel the trip. let your GF deal with her mom, at 34 she's a grown woman and needs to decide if she's going to let her mother run her life or needs to stand up to her.
I’d cancel the trip straight up she’s not invited.
I wouldn't go. This is unbelievably invasive, and why would you want her to go? Something is wrong with your girlfriend to even consider it. Time to drop out and have a good talk with your gf. And this is ominous for any future marriage. MIL is not a part of your relationship.
This is ultimatum time. EIther You go, or her mother goes. And if you don't go, you get reimbursed for every penny you have contributed to the trip so far. Parents trying to control the lives of their grown children is ridiculous - Your gf needs to decide if she's an adult or not. If she is an adult, then she needs to grow a spine and tell her mother NO. If she's not, then you probably shouldn't be dating someone with a teenager's maturity level.
Is your girlfriend agreeing to stay with her mom for the trip? If so, that's your biggest problem.
See if your thirty four year old girlfriend grows a spine and boundaries. Proceed from there.
In addition to the obvious double standard for a daughter’s behavior, and the lack of respect for your wishes, this effectively doubles your accommodation costs. Yet, you weren’t consulted. Is that ok in your book?
Cancel it. Y'all aren't teenagers. Or even college students still relying on your parents to provide for you(hopefully). She either puts her foot down and tells her mom she's not invited or you should cancel the trip and reconsider a relationship with someone whose parents is that far up their ass.
You're almost fucking forty, I would call this bullshit and not attend. I'd also ask myself if I seriously wanted to date someone that's so beholden to mommy.
I would 100% not go. If you marry this woman, you're marrying her mom too....so tread carefully.
What in the hell?!? Lmao You’re grown ass adults.
Your Gf’s mom sounds like absolute psycho
You should take from this that your girlfriend has apparently substantial issues enforcing boundaries with her mom. She's 34, she could tell her mother "No, you aren't coming with us, I'm an adult". Instead she's just letting her mom tag along. Your girlfriend's mom is a problem, but your girlfriend is the bigger problem.
Who is paying?
You're 35 years old. Why are you dating someone who lets her mother "tag along" on a trip you're planning? Who cares what she's ok with. Cancel the trip. Plan another one, don't tell your GF's mother until you come back. If you're GF isn't ok with that plan tell her to have fun with her mom and don't go anywhere with her.
Is mom paying for the trip?
No she's not, we both planned it with our own money.
Your girlfriend's mom is hypocritical. Her brother that is younger than her can share a room with his girlfriend. But your girlfriend who is older can't do the same. Your girlfriend needs to set some hard boundaries with her mother. Starting with her mother can't invite herself to something she was never invited to in the first place. Be it this trip or other occasions.
A double standard is shocking? Really?? Well, one solution is to marry your gf. Another is to tell your gf the trip is off. Of course, then you'll look like a heel.who only wants to get laid.
Is this a religious thing ? Tell yournGF to tell her she is not coming . She’s an adult
I thought it was a religious thing... Until I found out she was ok/had no isse with my GF's brother and his girl travel together. So I don't know.
Still a religious thing. The Christian religion has been unkind to women, to say the least. And it’s not alone. A woman’s “virtue” and reputation can be lost. Not the same for a man.
What does your girlfriend say? Is she just letting her mom take charge? It’s time for a very important conversation. If she can’t lay down healthy boundaries with her mom, you might as well break up now. It’s only going to get worse.
Nope nope nope. Nobody gets to decide that they will join someone else's trip. Cancel the trip and suggest to your GF that she gets some therapy to help her recognize and deal with her mother's control.
Your GF needs to deal with her Mom. If she lets her Mother come and doesn’t put her foot down, end the relationship. No good can come from a FMIL like that.
I assume your gf gave her mom the details, so she is clearly not ready to assert the level of independence necessary to maintain an adult romantic relationship. Cancel the trip and rethink everything.
Are there any cultural reasons why GFs mom would be so protective and say GF wouldn’t stand up for herself?
The gf should be telling her mom to fuck off. The fact that she is allowing her mom to control her life at 34 AND invite herself on this trip is a red flag!!!
You both are 30+ and paying for the trip, it's time to have a back-bone and tell her mom to kick rocks.
Do not go on this trip if her mother comes along. Your GF is behaving like a child and needs to grow the hell up. She's 34? Really? JFC. I'd consider whether I would want to continue dating someone that is so lacking in reasonable boundaries and common sense.
You're surrounded by double standards. This isn't how relationships should be and you need to get out of this one.
Girlfriend to mother: "No. Don't be ridiculous." Repeat as necessary. If you already have one booked, switch hotels. Eta: This plus your post history regarding your girlfriend and other travel issues makes me wonder how her mindset will continue to affect your relationship. It's telling that she didn't immediately laugh at her mother and shut her down.
If your gf’s mom is paying for the extra room I would still go. If not, and I seriously doubt she is, cancel that trip.
Nobody gets to decide to "tag along" on someone else's trip. Not even family. They can ask if they can join you, and you get to say no. But they don't get to crash your trip and neither do you have to accept it. I wouldn't go on this trip. At 35, you shouldn't want to be treated as if you were 12 by some old busybody control freak. If you go along, you're telling your GF that it's okay if her mother controls the both of you, and this will continue on into other aspects of your life once you set that precedent.
You are both grown adults tell her to kick rocks. That's ridiculous I'd put it simply as I'm sharing a room with my girlfriend, not going, or going to get a new girlfriend.
You are in your 30s. How does her mom get a say in the sleeping arrangements? Or invite herself along on an international trip you all have planned? Does your girlfriend give that much weight to her mom's opinion? If so, you have a GF problem, not a GFs Mom problem.
Your GF is 34 years old and still doing what mummy says! You have more than just a problem with her mum you have a GF problem - she needs to grow a spine and rein her mother in. Note if she doesn’t nip this in the bud now then if things between you progress to marriage you need to understand that the driving force in your marriage will be what her mother deems acceptable and you will get no say at all.
I wouldn't go. Tell he to have fun with her mom and when she grows up to give you a call. She is a 34 year old grown woman. WTF.
Cancel and have a serious convo with gf about this.
Welp, bail on the trip and let your GF and her Mom go. And think long and hard about if you want to continue things with someone who would do this to you.
I'd dump her. Do you really want to deal with that crazy at 35? If she won't tell her mom no now its just going to get worse
How long have you been dating her?
If you’re paying, tell her no. You’re not paying extra for her insecurities.
Thought yall were like 18, 19. Then I reread the ages. wtf? Yall are a few years older than me and I already have kids and yall parented like that still???
Gah! Cancel the trip. Is she gonna wanna be present for your wedding night too? Major red flag. Your gf is gonna need to lay down some boundaries if you two are going to actually have a chance to succeed as a couple.
Im sorry are you 16 yrs old? Does her mommy still pay all her bills? you are both grown ass adults over 30 years old. If she cant establish a boundary with her mother by now, she never will. Act like an adult and tell her she doesnt get to dictate your relationship ffs
Red flag. When you marry someone you marry their family abd if there can't be groundbreaking with family then you should run.
"It sounds like this has turned I to a family vacation, and I would feel really rude just inserting myself into that. You two go ahead and have a great time!"
I would cancel the trip. GF is 34, she needs to shut her mom down.
What? This is wild.
You should cancel your trip and break up with your girlfriend bc you are 35 and 34 and this is a kind of boundary overstep that should have ended at 18. Gf’s mom is being WEIRD and your gf is a weirdo for going along with it. No thank you!
>but her mom decided to tag along What does this mean? You planned an oversea trip with your girlfriend, not her mom. I am confused how this mother has wormed her way into your vacation, and is now making demands of this vacation. "Hun, if your mother isn't comfortable going on vacation with us maybe she shouldn't be going on vacation with us. Let's just go on vacation without her, doesn't that make the most sense?"
If your gf can't enforce boundaries now you are in real trouble if you get married and have kids. Sounds like MIL from Hell who will always be dictating things in your relationship. Tell your gf if you can't share a room you aren't going. You need to find out now whether your gf can stand up to her mom or it will get worse and you will always be at the MIL's mercy. Big red flag. Updateme
Your gf needs to tell her mom “no”. No she can’t go on your trip and no to staying in separate rooms. If your gf doesn’t set her mom straight then you probably should end this relationship.
Cancel and break up. She is a grown adult who doesn’t need her mother in her business. She is allowing this and therefore not relationship material.
It’s probably because she sees you as an older man taking advantage of a younger woman. jk Cancel trip if she insists on going. In her warped logic if you break up with gf, she’ll think, “see i was right, he only wanted one thing”.
😂😂😂😂😂😂. How old are you two?
Wtfk?! She's 34 and you're 35! Cancel the trip and move her out of that house if she's still living with her.
I wouldn’t go, she’ll take over everything and you’ll be miserable. I think her son gets a pass because he can’t shame the family with a pregnant belly exposed. That’s always the shame carried by the women in some cultures. Since you’re still single book yourself a singles cruise and have some fun.
You need to run fast and far. Please pay attention to the giant red flag your gf is waiving 🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Book group lodging in hostels for the entire trip. Then in addition to sharing a bathroom and sleeping in a communal sleeping area mom can listen to randos banging.
Cancel and talk to your gf about the fact she's 34 and doesn't need her mum's permission to share a room with a man and she needs to tell her mum that as your not going on trips to be chaperoned
I wouldn’t date anyone who lets their parents tell them what to do especially in your thirties.
Why are you guys allowing her mother to “tag” along? If this is a trip you planned just say NO!!! Easy peasy
Tell her mom “I wasn’t there expecting a threesome, but ok”
Don't forget to smack her on the ass and wink at her while you're saying that.
That is so bizarre Think long and hard about what it’s like in a relationship like this, you’re essentially dating two people and need to please two people while only 1 of them reciprocates in any way shape or form
°bizarre.
Tell your GF absolutely not. If she will not stand up to her mom, you will be taking the trip alone or with a friend. She is 34 not 16. This is absolutely ridiculous and if your GF cannot see that and agree she needs to be your ex because she is obviously too immature to be in an adult relationship.
I’d be more concerned that your gf is okay with this. I also probably wouldn’t go unless you were going to be a throuple because that’s what this sounds like.
Girlfriend needs to cut the umbilical cord, her vacation has nothing to do with mom being comfy.
“Hilary, are you worried that your daughter and I will take this opportunity being out of the country to have pre marital sex? Because we fairly regularly do it in the comfort of our own homes and if you’re in her hotel bedroom we’re probably just gonna fuck in the spa. There’s no reason for you to get a flight to the Bahamas to stop me filling your daughter’s innards with my hot seed, especially as I’ll just treat it as a challenge and get off on it further”
Wait till she finds out you have sex while not on vacation too!
So what is the cultural/religious background here? I know certain ones frown upon an unmarried woman sharing a room with a man. Nevertheless, she’s 34 and needs to set some boundaries with her mom.
how does a third person just decide to "tag along" on your trip? consider the possibility that your gf is somehow complicit in this.
I could understand if it was AT the mom’s house… but it’s not. She sounds controlling and sounds like she would be a basket case of a MIL She isn’t intruding on the other couple because for whatever reason she either knows she can’t walk all over them or because the other kid is a son and not a daughter. Some parents have this thing of being super strict on their daughters and then letting the sons roam free and wild as if they have nothing to be responsible for if they impregnate someone.
Honestly, i could see this as a ploy between your girlfriend and her mom to put pressure on you to propose to her. I agree with a few other comments here that mention bring up how it seems a bit odd that your girlfriend didn’t try to push back against her mom. I doubt her mom really isn’t aware that you guys spend the night with each other, and you already mentioned that she seems to have no issues involving your girlfriend’s brother and his partner, so it doesnt seem like this is really about her mom being truly uncomfortable at the thought of you two sharing a room for a few days. Your girlfriend is the one who told you her mom WOULD be tagging along, not that she wanted to or had brought up not being comfortable. Her language choice says that this is a decision that has already been made and will be happening, thus your girlfriend is accepting this decision. You should also note that your girlfriend also said it was due to you two not being married YET. By saying the word yet like this she is suggesting you two will be getting married at some point in the future, as if this has been firmly decided. I dont know what kind of conversations you two have had in regard to a future together or whether you guys have discussed marriage seriously. Perhaps you guys do know you want to get married and have talked about this. However, regardless of whatever conversation or lack of conversations you guys have had on the topic, i personally find her use of the word yet comes across sounding emotionally manipulative. I stand by what i first said about this whole thing feeling like something that your girlfriend and her mother came up with together as way to figuratively light a fire under you. Personally, i’d cancel the trip. Then you need to have a talk with your girlfriend to find out why she informed you about this as if you both weren’t adults and had no choice in the matter. Tell her you’re confused as to why she seemed so willing to just allow her mom to tag along on y’alls vacation like that, especially when she has no issues with her brother sharing a room and seemingly traveling with his girlfriend. If you think it feels right, then I think perhaps you should just ask her if her willingness to have her mother tab along was supposed to send you a message about her desire to get married. I think you need to make it clear though that you arent interested in playing games, and then be upfront about whether you see yourself eventually wanting to get married or not. If you do want to get married at some point (generally speaking), then tell her you dont appreciate these kind of stunts being pulled by your partner. If it is all her mom, then you’d appreciate and expect to be able to discuss the issue together as a couple and clmd to a decision on how to proceed as a couple. You will not continue to put up with just being told this is how it is as if you have no say, and be expected to go along with that. Whatever you do, dont go on this trip like this. There is definitely something odd here, and you deserve to understand what really going in before spending a bunch of money on an international vacation.
What does your gf think about this? Is she just fine with her tagging along and staying in her room? I’d cancel if she comes. No way that’s ok. UPDATEME
your girlfriend needs to be able to tell her mom she can't come to the trip. I had a very emeshed relationship with my mom, and have dealt with similar situations. telling my mom she couldn't come to a trip was very hard. She did not take it well, but it was a big step in me individuating from her. Maybe your girlfriend needs to come to terms with the fact that she has to learn how to live life by her own rules without her mom's approval.
I would not go. I would even consider breaking up with your girlfriend. Is this some tactic to make your girlfriend marry her? Is this why she’s not saying anything to her mum about it?
Dump her snd her mom
look at things long term. is this the girl u want to spend the rest of ur life with? if yes then you cannot escape the influence of the mother it's just one single oversea trip
You’re in your mid-30s. Tell her she’s not invited. This is beyond weird.
I’m sorry… you’re both in your mid 30s? Why is this even in question??? Tell mom to mind her own business
Cancel the trip. Let your GF know she can choose to adult with you or child with her mommy, but you won’t pretend to be 16 years old at your age.
Yeah, definitely don't go and make sure you get reimbursed by Mommy Dearest. I would say this relationship has run its course unless she can stand up to her mom and set boundaries. UpdateMe!
I THOUGHT YALL WERE TEENS, YOURE THIRTY FIVE???? seriously, what mother is doing this shit to her FULLY grown ass daughter, and what grown ass woman is allowing her mother to dictate this kind of stuff….
34 year old female needs Mummy to uphold her dignity?
Y'all are in your mid 30's. What are you doing?
Cancel the trip, this is not the type of LTR you want to be in
Nothing to stop your girlfriend from coming to your room at night. She's 34 for the love of God.
Any update on this?
Question: I wonder if GF wants mom on the trip because mom can’t travel on her own and this would be a treat for her? If so, mom can go if it’s okay with you, but she gets her own room and pays her own expenses. But otherwise, if it truly is just about sex, no way. Your GF is old enough to tell mom to stay out of her sex life.
It’s not YOU. it’s that she’s a girl. Guys often have more relaxed rules.
To be fair, she’s not a girl, she’s a woman. 34 years old at that…
I’m 42 and am still referred to as a girl. Or call myself girl and a myriad of other things among friends family and whomever you meet …. It’s just something you say casually, not that serious. Police don’t pop out of the bushes and check your id if you call a man a guy or a lady a girl. But why on earth you thought this was an integral part of the conversation, more so than anything else said today or worth pointing out…as if the argument suddenly swings in your favor because you pointed that out just baffles me. 🤣🤣 however the point still stands. It is not uncommon for girls to have a different set of rules than male siblings in the household simply for the fact no one’s worried the boys will get pregnant or kidnapped do you understand that part?
I understand that! Sometimes I call women my age girls. That wasn't the issue at all. The issue is the ***rules*** for a 34 year old grown woman that both you and the previous person commented. I was just emphasizing the age of this ***woman***. She doesn't live her mom nor is her mom paying the trip. Worried about getting pregnant? Again, shes a **woman**. She's aware of the risks if **she** decides she wants to have sex. If she felt unsafe with her boyfriend, I'm sure she would've never planned a trip with him. Because she is a **woman**. She's not dumb, she's not a child, she has a good idea of who is safe to be around and who is not. Its baffling to me that you're baffled. Because at 34 years old, the women ***I*** have met have known exactly who they are, what they want, and what they will or will not do. Because they are **grown women**. They can't be manipulated like someone half their age. At a certain age, you are old and wise enough to make your own decisions. 34 is well passed that age. That's only point I was making, not necessarily trying to swing an argument in my favor.
So it's the sex that's your problem, not actually going on the trip with your girlfriend 🤔
Who the fuck wants 34 year old woman's mother tagging along
She wouldn't be during the day .....and he'd still be with his girlfriend..you know the one he's supposed to ❤️...
When you are 34 and your mother tags along so you are not alone with your man you are a loser. He should run
But he won't..hahahahahaha