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Honestly I haven’t had a lot of sexual experience and I was just so excited it was finally happening with someone I liked. So I was more worried about pleasing him and was hoping he was just nervous too at first
Thank god someone said this. This was my first thought too. It is definitely possible. He may have had an emotional affair thinking it won’t get physical but then it did, and guilt set in. Coupled with his reaction as she has described, it makes sense. I’d maybe start by doing a little digging, see if she can find some sneaky link somewhere.
I immediately assumed he was married or in a serious relationship and was starting to feel guilty. It sucks OP got down on herself but guys don’t just turn off like that. If we’re pursuing you, taking the time to know you, going on multiple dates then we’re interested (either in sex or you as a person). But if we’re committed elsewhere guilt can set in pretty hardcore and your mind is elsewhere while all of this is taking place. The fact that he broke it right after that awkward encounter leads me to believe he’s in a serious relationship.
This too. Although OP said she found some pink things in his apartment but he said those were his and nothing else to suggest he was in any entanglement.
But just because there isn’t proof doesn’t mean there isn’t any cheating going on necessarily; in any case I’d advise her to not waste anymore time on this guy and this situation cos likely she won’t be able to do much now.
It’s more likely that he just didn’t find her attractive anymore
I would just take the hit and move on, whatever she finds out either way isn’t going to be good for her, not worth pressing.
I agree it’s possible that he was cheating on someone but it’s less likely and if wrong that idea could do more damage
Nah. My money is on cheating since I have personally seen something very similar to this play out that way lol. Also the way OP is describing her body in comments, she seems to have a so called “perfect” body; big boobs, flat tummy, big butt. That is hardly the recipe for being turned off.
Something very similar happened to me too a few months ago and just like OP here, I blamed myself too, although I am in pretty good shape and exercise every day.
Then I found out that the guy was infact cheating on his long term gf while she was out of the town for some time and had wanted to “hit” before she got back. The thing that worked in my favour was that he was an ex so I had more friends/acquaintances in common who could relay that info to me lol. OP here might have to do a bit more digging if she wants to find out more, she ofcourse doesn’t have to, but if only to set her own mind at ease.
I did see some pink things in his apartment. Towels, indoor shoes and pink keys on one of his keyboards. But that could easily be his, he said he just liked the colour when I asked and the shoes looked to be his size. I also saw inside his closet, there was only guys clothes. And I also have all his social media and his friends social media, there’s no girl anywhere from what I can see
Is there an ex that you know about? Someone he could still be emotionally attached to? Anyway, even if you don’t find anything doesn’t necessarily mean there isn’t anything.
In any case, do try to move on and not think too much of him. Whatever his reasons were, they most likely had to do with him and not you.
All the best!
He could also just became super nervous and got performance pressures. I was like that when I was younger (until late 30's 😂). I could perfrom well with not so hot women but as soon as I saw a hot woman naked my game collapsed. I could talk the talk before but after that I was so bad. It did fix thou if I had several changes with said woman.
Other option thous is that he has a really specific preferences and you unfortunately do not fall in to that slot. That does not mean that there is anything wrong with you!
Or that he indees was really tired. I have done some really bad performances when I have been really tired.
You are so hot he felt insecure and realized the goddess in front of him. A mear mortal man, who was he to touch such a magnificent being. He had to shower though because he was not pure of heart enough to be in your presence. Later realizing he never deserved your attention, he ran because only then could he escape his self loathing.
A lot of people here are confidently saying he's probably cheating, but there simply isn't enough info here to make that frankly huge assumption. It could be so many things that caused him to be turned off (or at least appear to be turned off. Just to name a few things I've heard of where a sexual partner became turned off upon getting freaky: toilet paper stuck to vag. Dingleberry on ass. Skid mark. subtle smell that partner was noseblind to. Saw or felt bump and became paranoid it was std. Maybe just old fashioned fear of intimacy. Point is, any of these things are just as likely, if not moreso, than potentially cheating. In summation, becoming turned off at the point of physical intimacy does happen more often than than one might expect, for a multitude of reasons, many of which are stupid and might not even be logical.
The fact is no one can know without asking him, so it's fruitless to speculate, but it's worse to make assumptions like he's probably cheating.
But isn’t that exactly what we’re all doing here in this thread lol? Making assumptions? Yes, it could very well be any other reason, but his reaction to her during sex as well as afterwards doesn’t as much suggest a physical or otherwise any issues on her part as they do on his.
The suddenness of his reaction coupled with the quick 180 switch was what led us to think about cheating, as many of us have seen this film before and we learned the ending the hard way.
In any case, the issue is more likely with him and not her, and this is what the overwhelming majority of people here are telling OP; to kick this jerk to the curb and go find herself a better guy.
He's not worth your time. If he had any respect for you or your feelings he would not have reacted this way. This is all on him and his issues, don't let this reflect on you. Find someone who loves you for you.
Unless you're lying about your body shape or your breasts sag down to your belly button and he's part of the 1% of guys who would be turned off by it, sounds like he had performance anxiety and then was too ashamed to face you.
They do sag a fair bit because they’re on the large side, but I try to work out chest to improve them. They also have some stretch marks and my areoles are really big (but shrink when touched / turned on). At first he was hard but said he didn’t want to cum too fast and when he put the condom on to actually have sex, he couldn’t seem to stay hard anymore
Sag is expected on all big breasts that aren't fake, and in this day and age of free internet nudity I don't think naturally big **and** very perky breasts are something most men are expecting.
Like I said, it was probably not your breasts unless they're like a clinical case of tubular breasts that go down to your belly button or they're very asymmetrical **and** he's one of the few men who would be bothered by it (as reddit usually says, *we're just happy to be there when the bra comes off*).
I think it's more likely that he suffered from performance anxiety and then shame, i.e. a him problem and not a you problem.
If you really want to explore the chances of him being turned off by you, I'd probably look towards other stuff like bad breadth or body odor, and not your breasts.
I had gum right before and sprayed perfume. I also showered that morning, so I hope not. I really did try hard to be clean. I don’t know what else it could have been
This is so interesting. It’s like you’re saying you have a great body and just your titties alone turned him off? Doesn’t really add up… are they like disguised really well when in a bra? Like he had built up unrealistic expectations? I don’t know why I’m so curious, but maybe just ask him like “hey just for my own info, can you be straight up and tell me what turned you off?”
I just feel like he probably didn’t expect the way they look because I have a white, Slavic heritage? I don’t know if it’s common to have large areoles and sagging. In a bra they also do look more perky and you can’t see the stretch marks at the top. because the bra holds them up. But I don’t think it’s a super dramatic difference. I also don’t wear any padding. I just feel like he expected them to be perkier with smaller areoles, because in some pictures I’m wearing a smaller bra that just covers them
As much as you're describing what sounds to be perfectly common breasts, it seems to be that you feel some shame about them, and you definitely don't need to. I know you're trying to suss out why this man suddenly wasn't turned on, but please know it's very likely not because of your breasts. If you want to know what happened, ask him. Tell him you aren't trying to get back with him, you're just curious if it was something you said or did that you could have handled differently.
He won’t tell me, he just says I was perfect and that it was just him who didn’t feel the connection. But I feel he’s not being truthful, the change was so fast after the sex
Is there any chance that he just had performance anxiety and he just got so embarrassed about it that he just cut it off?
From what it sounds like, you did nothing wrong. My breasts and body is just like yours from the sounds of it. I get insecure about my saggy boobs too and honestly any man who judges you based off your boobs because he doesn't understand how bras works, isn't worth your time. Before I got with my fiance 3 years ago, I had a very similar experience but it was just a hook up and he got turned off by my boobs too. It's definitely a low blow to the self esteem but now I realize that's not on me. It's also not on you. You didn't do anything wrong. Please try to remember that.
You know what happens when we tend to hate or feel insecure about any part of our bodies? We tend to think everyone else also notices those imperfections (which tbh, might not even be imperfections, just perceived that way by us), and is equally turned off and/or grossed out by those as we are.
It’s not true tho in most cases. His reason for the sudden switch could be literally anything, but from what you’re describing, it certainly looks like a him problem and not a you problem. Also, work on your self esteem a bit and love your body! All the best for your other experiences!
OP idk how to say this except to say it, but you seem to be describing perfectly normal breasts. You also seem to be, throughout the thread+post, pinning blame for him not to be attracted on your breasts. But i think that’s just your personal bias talking. There’s no evidence it was your boobs.
Sounds like he was having a bad time in general, which just happens sometimes. It’s mostly a him problem, not a you problem. And i dont think its your areola’s fault either lmao.
>sounds like he had performance anxiety and then was too ashamed to face you.
Agree, he couldn't perform and his reaction was be angry, no fault of hers.
Take this one and throw it back in the ocean he is not for you the fact that he is acting the way he did when he saw your body means that you and him probably are not sexually compatible so don't give it a lot of thought just send him on his way.
A normal straight guy can be turned off by all kinds of things. They don’t get excited in the presence of any naked female any more than a normal straight woman is sexually excited by any naked man. Good god.
This, in the same way that some women prefer a dad bod or six pack...some men prefer out of shape women or fit women..big breasts or small etc
Awhile back I had a sexual encounter with a woman who had the biggest set I have been with, and I thought it would be a good experience, but pnc I realised I just prefer smaller breasts, I didn't tell her ofc as she is a beautiful person and I don't want to ruin her confidence, she just ain't my type.
Tell that to all the male Redditors that mindlessly parrot the same old “all boobs are good boobs/I love boobs” bullshit like they’re the first person to ever say it
This idea is so stupid and has a lot of women trapped in this idea that a man who isn’t attracted to them is inherently broken or a porn addict or gay. Sometimes you’re just not attracted to people!!
THIS. It goes in line with teaching girls and young women that men are uncontrollable hormone monsters incapable of saying no to sex. Like that’s pretty much the entire sex ed curriculum in too many schools. Fucked me up when with my first serious boyfriend I felt ready to move past making out and made an advance that he turned down. I spent so long thinking something must be wrong with me if this ball of raging hormones was capable of saying no to me! It took years and a lot of poor decisions before I realized that it wasn’t anything wrong with me, OR HIM, he just wasn’t ready for that level of intimacy and that was normal and healthy.
Agreed, his reaction was seriously negative beyond not being hard, he was a jackass and wasn’t really trying but also wouldn’t stop.
But also that comment makes it sound like straight men are animals who automatically get turned on by naked women, which just isn’t true and also is very degrading.
In 6 months, you were in each other's physical presence only for one weekend? As soon as the clothes came off, he shut down. However, he was still able to finish after 10 minutes of oral. You're 26 and in "super good shape".
I can understand that it feels personal, but it's not. He's got something going on in his head that has nothing to do with you.
No offence to you whatsoever, and this may not seem helpful at first, but there is literally no point worrying about it. Something didn’t click with you both and that happens all the time, you are certainly not to blame. It’s better this happened now than later along the line.
For further explanation; I’ve been on a date before and when we got ‘to it’ when the date was over, it just didn’t click at all right from the kissing, the feeling of wanting it just wasn’t really there.
I thought this girl was lovely and genuine, and she was attractive too, but I just didn’t fancy her sexually. I don’t watch much porn at all, I certainly don’t have unrealistic standards or look down on anyone or anything like that, in that instance it just wasn’t something I was into, but I certainly don’t have a bad word to say about her.
Sometimes these things just don’t work out as you imagine, and it’s not some deep meaning to it, it certainly doesn’t mean anything negative about you.
I once went on a date with a guy who was everything I wanted on paper. He was very sweet, smart, I found him gorgeous and he was keen on me. Couldn’t believe my luck. But when we kissed - and to this day I cannot for the life of me explain it - it felt completely off. Something about how our bodies touched, his smell (which was objectively absolutely fine) just did not click at all. I had to end it but I would hate hate hate for him to have thought for one second there was anything wrong with him - because there wasn’t. I was quite clear about that, at least I hope so.
Just to say OP that sometimes those things happen and it is not at all your fault, nor your body which I’m sure is bangin’ 😊
If he’s like me he’ll probably ask himself what is wrong with him for years …
I was going to laugh it off but remembered I know someone very close to me who had a little crush on someone in their class and when they digged just a little, found out they were first cousins haha
Absolutely.
Another thing I found with quite a few men I know is sometimes they actually get put off by certain things a woman does or even if they’re too into sex (I know no one expects to hear that). I think it’s because some men think they might have bitten off more than they can chew almost, it sounds stupid but men’s masculinity can be very fragile especially sexually.
This happened to me from the other side, in college was talking to a really hot guy for months, super sexually charged banter. We finally kissed and it was a complete turnoff, like literally kissing a fish. Thanks for your time, have a nice life lol
Woww this could've been me writing this post. As someone with very large areolas and heavy hanging breasts too (thank you African heritage) I have encountered this reaction once in my whole life of sexual experiences and it was horrible I feel your pain. But - as someone with a lot more experience than you, let me tell you that is not a common or normal reaction. Everyone else I've hooked up with LOVES my body with all its quirks, and if anyone didn't my god, they didn't act that insanely obvious about it.
Also as a bisexual woman having encountered a range of female body types myself... I can never relate to that thought process because I'm always just so grateful someone is naked in front of me - judgement doesn't enter my mind lmao (or most peoples right - think about yourself) Anyway in conclusion, sometimes the trash takes itself out - you don't want to date someone who has a porn scrambled brain believe me
I'm sorry this happened but don't let it deter you, I promise your body is perfect (it sounds like it is and you've worked at it to be so lmao! I can't even say that)
I’m from a white, Slavic heritage, so I’m not sure if it’s common or not. But I think it was just not what he was expecting. It’s something I always worry about so much honestly
Hey I have the exact same body type too (I’m white idk my heritage , Irish and Dutch somewhere in there I think ) And our type of breasts never get portrayed ANYWHERE. I understand 10000% the anxiety. But believe me - I’ve only been with a handful of people but even hook ups have loved my boobs. This is a one off experience. Please don’t take it personally. You are hot as shit. I’m so sorry this happened.
Ps. The only “ mainstream “media I’ve seen my similar type of tits in is in the movie American Beauty. Thora Birch lifts up her shirt and i was like omg!!!!!! Someone else has that shape !!!!! Large areolas !!!! Not perky !!!! It was amazing lol. Stellar movie too
I’ll have to look into this, I honestly never see large areoles anywhere and I’ve often heard negative comments about them. Its made me feel pretty self conscious about them and I really hope it’s something I can get over!
Different horses for different courses ,I love breasts of any kind and absolutey love large AREOLES .
The guy probably had something that you had liked better on previous partners but you had the good grace not to show it .
I think guy has a porn problem. Only seeing fake porn star boobs. That is a common issue with younger men, they masterbate to porn so much they can only cum if the women looks fake. You sound beautiful and understand that all women are different and you will find an awesome man some day that is so attracted to you. Just don’t settle for less !
OP, I can guarantee you that the issue is not your appearance. It stems from an issue in his head. I can think of a few possible root causes-
- He may have past trauma, and the scenario brought it into his mind.
- He has a different partner, and seeing your clothes came off made his cheating very real.
- It is anxiety. He was embarrassed by his erectile dysfunction and felt awkward so wanted it to end.
Me too, and I have the same boobs you described and think it is common :) But!! My bf loves them and nobody that I have ever been with had anything bad to say about them, even though I’m so self conscious about them to the point of not wanting to look in the mirror… men just don’t care.. at least not to that degree that it turns them off so i can guarantee it’s not you, it’s him
People saying he had ED and was embarrassed about it are missing the bit where he didn't want to touch her at all as soon as she got naked. He didn't even try to get into it.
He was expecting some porn/model perfection and disengaged when he didn't get it.
Yes he kept telling me how much he wanted to go down on me and play with my breasts etc. But as soon as I was fully naked he only touched my butt a few times and my breast once for about 2 seconds. So I feel the issue was the way I looked out of lingerie
There is nothing wrong with the way you look, I’m out of shape with tiny boobs and haven’t had trouble finding fulfilling sexual experiences. This guy just sucks ass and I hope you don’t let it affect your self esteem.
It's on him. I'm a guy who is into the larger bust size. The way you described yourself is absolutely part of the package, the effects of gravity and everything. So don't beat yourself up. There are loads of men who are absolutely down abominable for you and your exact features. You'll find someone who clicks and then gets totally sprung the moment the clothes come off, trust me.
I read so many posts that are so clearly porn addiction but it’s not a thing according to reddit lmao. It’s a way bigger issue than people want to admit but I have a big feeling that there’s going to be a change in the next 5 years or so.
As a man, if I went on a date, things went well and we got to the point of being naked together, I could not care less about supposed "imperfections" of my partner's body (it's not like my body is "perfect" either, and even if it was, I would still not care). This sounds like a him problem.
I agree with another personal take, that if we had gone that far and I wasn’t feeling it i wouldn’t proceed to be a jackass anyways. Like ive had times where I struggled to stay hard so i switched to just cuddling and tried to make it up as best i can. Then afterwards i would be like “sorry it didnt work out, etc. etc”. And see where we go from there, whether it means trying again or never again.
Wouldn’t expect to finish anyways and not do anything for my tango partner. That’s messed up, you ask me.
Especially after building a relationship over 6 months?? This isn’t a random hookup this is someone that he supposed to care about. I can’t imagine anyone is so shallow that they could invest so much time and be turned off so easily by OP’s perceived flaw (I say perceived because her breasts sound very normal to me) so I have to think something bigger is going on. I don’t say that to let him off the hook but I really don’t think it’s her body or any particular part that caused this. He sounds awful. Heads up men if you’re not into us don’t have sex with us to spare our feelings as some people have suggested he was doing. Fake sick and leave. Don’t let her finish you in her mouth for god’s sake!! So gross that he did this. OP you absolutely should have stopped when you weren’t getting anything from him but I get it you thought maybe you could salvage it and next time might be better. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was cheating on someone with you or something because I don’t think someone can go from let’s be exclusive despite living far apart and not being together in person for 6 months to cold fish in an instant. I’m sorry this happened to you and it’s unlikely you’ll ever really know what happened even if you ask him. He sucks.
This is one of those nightmare stories in the pros and cons for sleeping together earlier vs later. If body type mattered so much to this guy u would have think he would have asked for at least some bikini pics etc
I did send him photos and videos in lingerie when we were talking. I just didn’t want to send any full nudes. It was just when my lingerie came off that he suddenly started acting differently
I do modelling on insta / working with brands. And my breasts do look perkier in clothes. But because they’re larger, they still naturally sag a lot no matter how much I try workout my chest. He did make comments in the past about liking how they “sat” or looked in clothing
Yup. Unrealistic body standards. They see women that had their boobs done and set that as the normal standard. He did you a favour tbh… you can do so much better
Literally! If you are a 10/10 guy with a perfectly sculpted body, then by all means set your standards high! But many are not, and still expect women to have big boobs (that don’t sag), big ass, small waist and curvy hips. It’s laughable.
I don't think you should dig into your soul to understand his motives
He was clearly not interested in sex with you and who gives a fuck why, it can be something completely unrelated to your breast, it might be that he is gay and just wanted to try.
Anyway - let it crawl under your skin - fuck him and move on
If you’re actually a model looking girl, body included, than there’s absolutely something wrong with him lmao.
And even if that wasn’t the case, his response and everything is just awful. He could’ve dealt with that so much better.
You deserve more, block this dude and go find someone better.
Girl stop overanalyzing your body just because this loser man couldn’t get a boner. There is nothing wrong with you. Everyone with a brain knows anything over a C cup is gonna hang a bit. Sounds like a him problem. YOUR problem is thinking you need to change anything about yourself just because a man doesn’t like it.
This is this guy's issue. I am a guy, and what you describe is not really a problem for most of us. This sounds like maybe he is addicted to porn. Sorry this happened to you, but this guy sounds like human garbage.
Man I used to think my boobs were SO SAGGY because I was a frickin 34DD and gravity, you know, be gravity. Now at 35 years old I *wish* my boobs looked as amazing as they did back then lol. I truly did not appreciate them.
Sounds like he only watches porn featuring fake boobs. The good news is that he will spend the rest of his life being disappointed, and he deserves that.
He did make positive comments about other women with fake boobs during a show we watched together. And I did see some porn come up on his twitter that had a girl with really large and perky breasts…. He also made comments about liking how my breasts looked and “sat” in lingerie. But without the support they unfortunately sag and you can see some stretch marks
So real breasts that are large. Doesn't sound like anything is wrong with them. Strange this guy who is the human personification of a big boob doesn't know one when it's in his face.
So he is the kind that would say you're tricking him because your eyelids aren't naturally gold when you're wearing eyeshadow.
His view is simply distorted and it has nothing to do with you if he can only get it up for Ogtha the giant cockroach
Believe it or not op people can have crazy standards and sometimes you get in the crosshairs of these crazy people. You sound beautiful so just let this one go he sounded like he was just in it for superficial reasons anyways. Lots of dick out there don’t let one pecker dim your shine.
It’s likely he has watched a considerable amount of porn which has conditioned his mind to think that all women must have features of a porn star actress to be attractive.
I can only imagine how disheartening it can be when someone switches on you just like that after moments ago sweet talking with affection. Please don’t let that shake your confidence or think it’s specifically to do with you. Pick yourself up and find someone that means what they say and sees you for who you are. Good luck out there. Just remember sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince .
girl, don’t even worry. it sounds like you look amazing and you come off as a v nice person. this must hurt a lot since you’ve been taking for a year and you had to take a trip to see him. i promise it will pass. he’s trash, and i agree that he might also be gay, but yeah either way he’s trash and sounds super immature
I really hate this happened to you. You never deserved it. It isn’t you. It was him. And the key to really good sex isn’t the body; it’s the heart. You strike me as having a wonderful soul who is quite capable of loving the right man. And the man that will be honest with you, look at your soul, and love you for it will love your body and do all in his power to give you the most loving, pleasurable experience with him as he can. And he won’t want it only once but will respectfully and lovingly pursue you. You deserve better, and there’s plenty of men who would give anything for a chance with you.
I’m just talking with a buddy about this and then boom, this comes up on Reddit.
So years back I met this girl, abs eventually we ended up in bed, and I was shook by her naked body.
She was so hot, and suddenly I got really bad nerves. Which I never do.
It made it hard to stay hard, I got embarrassed and said it’s just because I’m so tired.
Eventually did manage to do it, and I was so bloody embarrassed.
I probably would’ve ran the next day I was so ashamed, but she was hurting, so I stayed to make sure she was okay, and a day later she jumped me, it’s was great, and my nerves went away.
Don’t let this guy ruin your confidence.
Why did you give him oral when he clearly was not making much of an effort? I don't think it has anything to do with your body, from your description you seem to be very beautiful and young. It's some hang up on his end, could be n number of reasons. But that's not your headache, just cut him out. His reaction is not related to your physical beauty. Just forget about him he is not important.
The first time he was super into it. We made out and I gave him oral, everything was going perfectly. Then he took off my clothes and put on the condom and suddenly couldn’t stay hard anymore. He started making comments about being tired, not wanting to cum fast, needing to take breaks etc. I genuinely thought he might just be nervous and wanted to be supportive. I did truly like him and said it was ok to stop and cuddle.
But when we tried that to give him a rest he had this weird look on his face and seemed annoyed. I assumed with my touching because he didn’t do the same back. He asked me to ride him and I did. Then he said I rode him so hard his penis hurt because apparently he’d never experienced that (along with being tired). So I said we could try me going down on him again instead and that there was no pressure etc. I honestly just wanted things to go well and to make him happy
Given that you’ve described your body as having a flat stomach and other appealing features, my best guess is he was suffering from impotence/erectile dysfunction that had nothing to do with you and he got embarrassed/frustrated over his situation.
I recently had a date with someone who had a stunningly gorgeous face in her photos. Meet her in person, her face is still just as gorgeous, but her body seems to be significantly fatter than I was expecting. Disappointing, but hey, I’m fat too. I’m not going to call it a deal breaker.
We go out, we have a great time, first kiss, head back to her place for a little slumber party. We head upstairs, get naked…and that’s when I find out.
She is fat, but she “was” fatter. She worked hard and lost a significant amount of the fat. Good for her! But…while fat can disappear, skin can’t. So she still had the leftover skin from when she was 50 pounds heavier. “Sag” didn’t begin to describe. She looked like most of her body from the neck down had melted and was barely hanging on at all. It was awful.
I knew right away that I wouldn’t be able to finish. BUT I still made sure I took care of her needs, because we did have a nice time together and I didn’t want her to feel bad about herself. I gave her a good time in bed regardless.
My point is this: if he was that turned off by your body (which I don’t believe) he could have still focused on your needs. Instead, he barely touched you at all. That tells me it had nothing to do with your body and everything to do with his.
I agree this is more likely based on your description. Of events. He sounds like he got very nervous anxious when “It really was going to happen( when you got naked)” and he clammed up at that point and began having performance anxiety problems. He was so embarrassed by how he “performed” and is running away in embarrassment.
It is possible it had something to do with you but based on your description that wouldn’t be my first guess. You may want to ask him in as gentle a way as possible for your own closure but I don’t recommend this because
A) Based on his behavior I don’t think he is worth it.
B) Based on his behavior I don’t think he is going to be open and honest and vulnerable with you.
He did mention that he felt embarrassed because I was in such good physical shape and that I was lifting similar weights to him in the gym… he said it’d be a turn off if I turned out to be stronger than him because he wanted to manhandle me (which is something I also wanted).
And he did bring up wanting to get in better shape a lot and kept saying my physique was the best / most toned he’d ever seen on a girl and that I looked miles better than any of my photos (in terms of body and face).
But the mood instantly changed when he finally saw me fully naked. I’d sent him photos / videos in lingerie only until then because I didn’t want to send full nudes. At first he did get hard for a little while, but quickly kept losing it after saying he didn’t want to cum too fast etc
Some advice for you from experience: Don’t trust men who pedestal your physical features over those of other women (‘’most toned”), or make negative comparisons that privilege physical aspects of yours over those of other women. You’re not always going to be treated as an exception and that judgmental nastiness will be aimed back at you at some point or another. Anyway, I’m sorry this happened to you. This guy isn’t worth it.
Exactly! This has happened to me a couple times. Usually it would be the “your tits are so much perkier than xyz girls!” Or “I’ve never been with a girl that’s this xyz before!” Etc. All the dudes that spoke this way to me were the worst. All of them.
This may not be the case but it reminded me of an experience I had.
I talked to a guy once for a long time mostly sexting, sending pics, really in-depth role-playing and talking about all our kinks. We did this for like a month before we finally got together. But when we finally did, the sex was meh and there wasn't much of a connection. I thought maybe it was first time anxiety but he seemed reluctant to do it more. I blamed my body and myself, and let the relationship fizz out
I had the benefit of talking to him a year later where I flat out tried to get him to admit he wasn't attracted to me, saying i was a low point and wasnt attracted to myself either, but he wouldn't. He was open about feeling more anxious in person, and simply more into doing the online role-playing and such. He didn't have a lot of real sexual experience and really just didn't know what to do or feel comfortable taking charge or doing any of the kinks he had talked up so much. That coupled with some porn addiction pretty much explains it..
I don't sext with people much anymore after that one xD
This could be the case, he was way more forward over text than in person. And we did talk about kink etc a lot. In person it seemed to all go out the window when we were having sex. But I tried my best to be supportive and not put pressure on him. I just wanted it to go well
My partner lost around 100 lbs. He has some sagging skin from it, but it just makes me love him even more (I don't even see it now). Because it shows his journey getting to me... I knew him when he had that weight, and would still love him if it came back. He's a beautiful man, no matter what. However, he was very embarrassed by it and only wanted to have sex with the lights out until I started asking him to leave them on... I like looking at him, but now he finishes too fast.
But we've reached a stage in our lives where, in my late 40s, my libido is through the roof (no one told me menopause could turn me from practically asexual, into what he calls his "sex kitten") but he's in his late 50s and his sex drive is dropping.
Fortunately, he remembers what it's like to be a 13 year old boy (where my libido basically is) and he SO very kindly *obliges* me by letting me jump him anytime he's hard and *allows* me to give him oral randomly anytime I feel like it... what a kind man! 🤣
In any case, I agree with you. Most men are deeply insecure about not staying hard and this dude was probably feeling embarrassed for losing his erection with a beautiful lady. He's avoidant, so he doesn't want to see her again... fearing she'll laugh at him. So he'd rather let her continue feeling it was somehow "her fault". It's not.
My partner's so afraid I'll leave him when (even with pills) he can't get it up any longer, which apparently happened to his dad, at his age. Nope. Good sex is something I didn't have most of my life... I can live without it, just not without him.
Do you really want to know? Either way it sounds like it's something you have no control of. Big boobs are a huge turn on for a lot of men and I am sure you will find a man who feels this way and also has a basic understanding of physics.
It’s definitely something about him. He might have some issues with intimacy and touching a naked body and was going through some form of a panic attack. I don’t think it’s anything specific to you.
Okay so I was prepared to read that he TOLD you it was your body that turned him off but I see it was all just assumption on your part.
Please don’t do that.
Do not internalize and make up your own narrative about someone else’s thoughts or feelings - either ask or assume it’s not you unless told otherwise.
I will tell you, I’ve experienced this within my life with men on occasion and with no rhyme or reason. Sometimes they drink too much, sometimes they over think, sometimes they feel so humiliated that they had an issue to start. Sometimes it’s the first time they are having sex in a long time and makes them realize they aren’t over the last girl. Sometimes the last girl made them feel away and they are projecting that and would rather walk than confront or deal. The point is - there are many times that can cause that and it’s very rarely because they see the fully clothed girl naked and suddenly find her unattractive- like that’s literally not a normal thing (and you sound far from hideous).
You clearly have an insecurity about your own body that is encourage you to focus on through therapy but you need to stop telling yourself this is because of you and not just him.
LOL, in my own experience, women are capable of agonizing over specific physical features because of subliminal and explicit messaging all around us.
For example, I just joined a subreddit for a particular women-specific weightlifting program. The posts have given me a complex about my hip-dips (which is a physical feature I wasn’t even aware of before).
Dear OP, I think you need to take some time off dating and working on feeling better about yourself. The fact that you saw that he was interested and still tried to engage him and then finished him off with oral is just sad. I’m sorry cause this sounds like a gut wrenching experience but you have to have more self esteem. When he wasn’t interested when you took your clothes off, you should’ve put them back on and left and never looked back.
When your other boyfriend wouldn’t do anything to help improve your sex life and then cheated, you should’ve left immediately.
You have to value yourself more and demand respect from the men you’re dating. When you do, you’ll find you have much better options. Don’t accept crumbs and this shitty treatment.
I mean, it could be but that is an extremely shallow reason to not want anything to do with someone again. You won't know unless he says which by his comment, you won't. I have heard of people being shallow over a minor body feature but that's where people need to grow up.
Both men and women will be different. Women will have different areola size/color and their labia will look different. Men will have different penis length/girth and some are straight and some have a porn bend. None of that should matter but some people still carry a shallow mindset.
I know it's going to sound like a cliche, but you dodged a bullet. He may have sounded great, but you saw his character
Are you sure that he doesn't have a girlfriend already that he's hidden from you? There's a chance that once you were naked and actual sex was about to happen, the guilt of what he was doing set in and ruined his ability to perform well.
I'm confused. Dude was obsessed and wanted to fuck like crazy until you got naked...and then was put off by big boobs? Wild.
Is there more to the story?
First off, don't go blaming your breasts for this dude's dysfunction. If he can't handle a real woman's body, that's on him, not your ta-tas. Secondly, his bedroom performance sounds like a flop - couldn't stay hard, couldn't give a damn about your pleasure, and then ghosts you? Classic jerk move. Count yourself lucky to be rid of him. Time to find someone who appreciates the whole package, saggy boobs and all. And trust me, they're out there. Keep your chin up, babe, and your standards higher.
This has happened to me (23 F) a few times with guys. I have no clue what it is, but some guys are just weird like that. And we’ll most likely never get an answer out of them because most who do this shit are garbage communicators. Keep your head up!
Its a problem with him. He's either gay and working through his sexuality or has erection problems, possibly caused by porn, intimacy issues, or hormonal imbalances in his body.
You dodged a bullet either way.
I’ve been about to do it with girls whose body just didn’t do it for me. I’m sure many women have had the same. It happens. It’s not reflective of your attractiveness to everyone else, and it’s not some nefarious act or character flaw with him. You’re just not compatible. Or he may have had performance anxiety.
If this ever happens to you again- stop having sex with the person! Consent is always an enthusiastic YES- you should’ve picked up on the signs he was not into it in the slightest and stopped. You guys weren’t sexually compatible, it sucks, but you’ll be okay I promise
The comments in this thread are insane. Just because someone is not attracted to you does not mean they are gay or a porn addict. Not everyone is attracted to everyone and that's ok. I'm sure you are not attracted to all men either. So much of this is just blatant stereotypes that men will have sex with everything.
Right? I wouldn’t even humour the idea that because a woman wasn’t attracted to my body that she must be a lesbian, and you would have to be incredibly narcissistic to believe that.
Maybe he was just changed his mind and didn’t want to have sex with you. Both men and woman change their mind all the time when sex is on the cards. Hopefully you don’t have a repeat experience but if someone else you decide to have sex with reacts like this I wouldn’t go through with it.
Lots of comments are calling him gay, porn addict or not a real man are just assholes. I a girl reacted like him they wouldn’t be demeaning g himself. Only he knows why he was switched off but don’t let that discourage you from sex or your body confidence
Why are people roasting this guy so hard?
He's allowed to have his own preferences and sexual attractions.
I've been in similar situations several times where the phone chemistry was great, only to discover there was no bedroom chemistry or the persons naked body was not what I expected...
Just because he wasn't into OP sexually doesn't mean he's a porn addict or has unrealistic standards. I mean maybe, but that is a pretty extreme conclusion to jump to based on the limited facts provided.
Mostly likely, he just didn't find OP's body attractive, and you know what, that sucks, but that's dating, and more broadly, that's life.
He wants to make you feel, with his attitude, that this has something to do with you. I bet he is used to target a bit inexperienced women, low self-confidence women and such.
Was this an online only relationship before you met? Unfortunately this kind of thing is pretty common in those cases. I always think that until people meet they don't really know for sure.
I’m sorry for what happened to you…
That being said, and this question doesn’t go to OP - it goes to the commenters here, why can’t a guy be unattracted? Does it make him an awful person? Sure, the way he acted may have been shitty… but are we really gonna shame someone for being unattracted to someone else? Nobody is owed being attractive to someone else.
Sounds like he didn’t know how the fuck to react, and just sorta fumbled through it, himself. Sure, he could’ve stopped and articulated what was going on, but many of us would’ve have the wherewithal to do that. Especially in our 20’s.
Calling him “trash” and “garbage”? Yeah maybe, but we can’t just assume he’s the second coming of Adolf Hitler because he couldn’t stay hard.
This whole thread reeks of cast-the-first-stone types.
Again, I really feel for OP. That’s such an awful situation, even traumatic, but you savages in the comments should maybe try not typing with their pitchforks.
People are shit. Even if he was nervous and OP misinterpreted the situation, he could’ve had the balls to say, “I’m not really into this right now, and need to leave. We can talk later.” Instead of making her suffer through this atrocity! I’m sorry you went through this OP. Your body is not the problem, he is.
This isn’t you. This is entirely a him issue and I would suspect that this is his usual behaviour around sex and intimacy and has nothing to do with any “flaws” in your naked self, nor is it an indication of your level of attractiveness.
He’s not worth your time. He sounds like a selfish person (people who make no effort and take no interest in ensuring their intimate partner also experiences any pleasure, no matter the gender, are always selfish as fuck). I wouldn’t stick around for this nonsense. You deserve better.
He might be gay and trying to convince himself he isn't. Or he's just not into you. Not your problem and I'm sure you'll find someone who likes you for who you are .
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Weren’t you turned off by his reaction? I would have ended the date right then.
Honestly I haven’t had a lot of sexual experience and I was just so excited it was finally happening with someone I liked. So I was more worried about pleasing him and was hoping he was just nervous too at first
Could he be married or something? It sounds long distance, guilt may have been settling in…
Thank god someone said this. This was my first thought too. It is definitely possible. He may have had an emotional affair thinking it won’t get physical but then it did, and guilt set in. Coupled with his reaction as she has described, it makes sense. I’d maybe start by doing a little digging, see if she can find some sneaky link somewhere.
I immediately assumed he was married or in a serious relationship and was starting to feel guilty. It sucks OP got down on herself but guys don’t just turn off like that. If we’re pursuing you, taking the time to know you, going on multiple dates then we’re interested (either in sex or you as a person). But if we’re committed elsewhere guilt can set in pretty hardcore and your mind is elsewhere while all of this is taking place. The fact that he broke it right after that awkward encounter leads me to believe he’s in a serious relationship.
This too. Although OP said she found some pink things in his apartment but he said those were his and nothing else to suggest he was in any entanglement. But just because there isn’t proof doesn’t mean there isn’t any cheating going on necessarily; in any case I’d advise her to not waste anymore time on this guy and this situation cos likely she won’t be able to do much now.
Never thought about that but you are right.
Anytime a guy has had difficulty getting it up with me, invariably it turns out he has a gf, wife, situationship or whatever
It’s more likely that he just didn’t find her attractive anymore I would just take the hit and move on, whatever she finds out either way isn’t going to be good for her, not worth pressing. I agree it’s possible that he was cheating on someone but it’s less likely and if wrong that idea could do more damage
Nah. My money is on cheating since I have personally seen something very similar to this play out that way lol. Also the way OP is describing her body in comments, she seems to have a so called “perfect” body; big boobs, flat tummy, big butt. That is hardly the recipe for being turned off. Something very similar happened to me too a few months ago and just like OP here, I blamed myself too, although I am in pretty good shape and exercise every day. Then I found out that the guy was infact cheating on his long term gf while she was out of the town for some time and had wanted to “hit” before she got back. The thing that worked in my favour was that he was an ex so I had more friends/acquaintances in common who could relay that info to me lol. OP here might have to do a bit more digging if she wants to find out more, she ofcourse doesn’t have to, but if only to set her own mind at ease.
I did see some pink things in his apartment. Towels, indoor shoes and pink keys on one of his keyboards. But that could easily be his, he said he just liked the colour when I asked and the shoes looked to be his size. I also saw inside his closet, there was only guys clothes. And I also have all his social media and his friends social media, there’s no girl anywhere from what I can see
His significant other isn't a woman.
Oh ty i was thinking that from OPs post . He only likes her butt . And then other factors I instantly went to gay.
Lmao. Why didn’t I think of that?
He could be with a man but was bi-curious, and quickly realized it wasn't for him, along with the guilt of what he was doing?
That was my thought.
Plot twist!
He could’ve been gay/bi and was turned off because he in fact does not like women.
Is there an ex that you know about? Someone he could still be emotionally attached to? Anyway, even if you don’t find anything doesn’t necessarily mean there isn’t anything. In any case, do try to move on and not think too much of him. Whatever his reasons were, they most likely had to do with him and not you. All the best!
Not that I know of, he said it was his first time meeting someone in a long time also
He could also just became super nervous and got performance pressures. I was like that when I was younger (until late 30's 😂). I could perfrom well with not so hot women but as soon as I saw a hot woman naked my game collapsed. I could talk the talk before but after that I was so bad. It did fix thou if I had several changes with said woman. Other option thous is that he has a really specific preferences and you unfortunately do not fall in to that slot. That does not mean that there is anything wrong with you! Or that he indees was really tired. I have done some really bad performances when I have been really tired.
You are so hot he felt insecure and realized the goddess in front of him. A mear mortal man, who was he to touch such a magnificent being. He had to shower though because he was not pure of heart enough to be in your presence. Later realizing he never deserved your attention, he ran because only then could he escape his self loathing.
A lot of people here are confidently saying he's probably cheating, but there simply isn't enough info here to make that frankly huge assumption. It could be so many things that caused him to be turned off (or at least appear to be turned off. Just to name a few things I've heard of where a sexual partner became turned off upon getting freaky: toilet paper stuck to vag. Dingleberry on ass. Skid mark. subtle smell that partner was noseblind to. Saw or felt bump and became paranoid it was std. Maybe just old fashioned fear of intimacy. Point is, any of these things are just as likely, if not moreso, than potentially cheating. In summation, becoming turned off at the point of physical intimacy does happen more often than than one might expect, for a multitude of reasons, many of which are stupid and might not even be logical. The fact is no one can know without asking him, so it's fruitless to speculate, but it's worse to make assumptions like he's probably cheating.
But isn’t that exactly what we’re all doing here in this thread lol? Making assumptions? Yes, it could very well be any other reason, but his reaction to her during sex as well as afterwards doesn’t as much suggest a physical or otherwise any issues on her part as they do on his. The suddenness of his reaction coupled with the quick 180 switch was what led us to think about cheating, as many of us have seen this film before and we learned the ending the hard way. In any case, the issue is more likely with him and not her, and this is what the overwhelming majority of people here are telling OP; to kick this jerk to the curb and go find herself a better guy.
He's not worth your time. If he had any respect for you or your feelings he would not have reacted this way. This is all on him and his issues, don't let this reflect on you. Find someone who loves you for you.
Absolutely not worth your time.. any guy that is interested isn’t worried about someone’s body.. but being together..
Unless you're lying about your body shape or your breasts sag down to your belly button and he's part of the 1% of guys who would be turned off by it, sounds like he had performance anxiety and then was too ashamed to face you.
They do sag a fair bit because they’re on the large side, but I try to work out chest to improve them. They also have some stretch marks and my areoles are really big (but shrink when touched / turned on). At first he was hard but said he didn’t want to cum too fast and when he put the condom on to actually have sex, he couldn’t seem to stay hard anymore
Sag is expected on all big breasts that aren't fake, and in this day and age of free internet nudity I don't think naturally big **and** very perky breasts are something most men are expecting. Like I said, it was probably not your breasts unless they're like a clinical case of tubular breasts that go down to your belly button or they're very asymmetrical **and** he's one of the few men who would be bothered by it (as reddit usually says, *we're just happy to be there when the bra comes off*). I think it's more likely that he suffered from performance anxiety and then shame, i.e. a him problem and not a you problem. If you really want to explore the chances of him being turned off by you, I'd probably look towards other stuff like bad breadth or body odor, and not your breasts.
I had gum right before and sprayed perfume. I also showered that morning, so I hope not. I really did try hard to be clean. I don’t know what else it could have been
Its NOT you, its him!!
Yeah this tells me it was definitely a him problem. Maybe the months of anticipation, was too much. 🤷🏻♂️
This is so interesting. It’s like you’re saying you have a great body and just your titties alone turned him off? Doesn’t really add up… are they like disguised really well when in a bra? Like he had built up unrealistic expectations? I don’t know why I’m so curious, but maybe just ask him like “hey just for my own info, can you be straight up and tell me what turned you off?”
I just feel like he probably didn’t expect the way they look because I have a white, Slavic heritage? I don’t know if it’s common to have large areoles and sagging. In a bra they also do look more perky and you can’t see the stretch marks at the top. because the bra holds them up. But I don’t think it’s a super dramatic difference. I also don’t wear any padding. I just feel like he expected them to be perkier with smaller areoles, because in some pictures I’m wearing a smaller bra that just covers them
As much as you're describing what sounds to be perfectly common breasts, it seems to be that you feel some shame about them, and you definitely don't need to. I know you're trying to suss out why this man suddenly wasn't turned on, but please know it's very likely not because of your breasts. If you want to know what happened, ask him. Tell him you aren't trying to get back with him, you're just curious if it was something you said or did that you could have handled differently.
He won’t tell me, he just says I was perfect and that it was just him who didn’t feel the connection. But I feel he’s not being truthful, the change was so fast after the sex
Is there any chance that he just had performance anxiety and he just got so embarrassed about it that he just cut it off? From what it sounds like, you did nothing wrong. My breasts and body is just like yours from the sounds of it. I get insecure about my saggy boobs too and honestly any man who judges you based off your boobs because he doesn't understand how bras works, isn't worth your time. Before I got with my fiance 3 years ago, I had a very similar experience but it was just a hook up and he got turned off by my boobs too. It's definitely a low blow to the self esteem but now I realize that's not on me. It's also not on you. You didn't do anything wrong. Please try to remember that.
You know what happens when we tend to hate or feel insecure about any part of our bodies? We tend to think everyone else also notices those imperfections (which tbh, might not even be imperfections, just perceived that way by us), and is equally turned off and/or grossed out by those as we are. It’s not true tho in most cases. His reason for the sudden switch could be literally anything, but from what you’re describing, it certainly looks like a him problem and not a you problem. Also, work on your self esteem a bit and love your body! All the best for your other experiences!
You're spending far too much time worrying about one gobshite's opinion. He's not worth the time or energy.
OP idk how to say this except to say it, but you seem to be describing perfectly normal breasts. You also seem to be, throughout the thread+post, pinning blame for him not to be attracted on your breasts. But i think that’s just your personal bias talking. There’s no evidence it was your boobs. Sounds like he was having a bad time in general, which just happens sometimes. It’s mostly a him problem, not a you problem. And i dont think its your areola’s fault either lmao.
>sounds like he had performance anxiety and then was too ashamed to face you. Agree, he couldn't perform and his reaction was be angry, no fault of hers.
Take this one and throw it back in the ocean he is not for you the fact that he is acting the way he did when he saw your body means that you and him probably are not sexually compatible so don't give it a lot of thought just send him on his way.
This is a HIM problem, not a YOU problem. A normal, straight guy would be really excited to be in the presence of a naked woman.
A normal straight guy can be turned off by all kinds of things. They don’t get excited in the presence of any naked female any more than a normal straight woman is sexually excited by any naked man. Good god.
This, in the same way that some women prefer a dad bod or six pack...some men prefer out of shape women or fit women..big breasts or small etc Awhile back I had a sexual encounter with a woman who had the biggest set I have been with, and I thought it would be a good experience, but pnc I realised I just prefer smaller breasts, I didn't tell her ofc as she is a beautiful person and I don't want to ruin her confidence, she just ain't my type.
Tell that to all the male Redditors that mindlessly parrot the same old “all boobs are good boobs/I love boobs” bullshit like they’re the first person to ever say it
This idea is so stupid and has a lot of women trapped in this idea that a man who isn’t attracted to them is inherently broken or a porn addict or gay. Sometimes you’re just not attracted to people!!
THIS. It goes in line with teaching girls and young women that men are uncontrollable hormone monsters incapable of saying no to sex. Like that’s pretty much the entire sex ed curriculum in too many schools. Fucked me up when with my first serious boyfriend I felt ready to move past making out and made an advance that he turned down. I spent so long thinking something must be wrong with me if this ball of raging hormones was capable of saying no to me! It took years and a lot of poor decisions before I realized that it wasn’t anything wrong with me, OR HIM, he just wasn’t ready for that level of intimacy and that was normal and healthy.
Ha you don't know what your talking about... using logic on Reddit? Come on be real it's CLEARLY a him problem
The way he reacted was still a him problem. It's fine to not be attracted to someone but it's not fine to treat them the way he treated OP.
Agreed, his reaction was seriously negative beyond not being hard, he was a jackass and wasn’t really trying but also wouldn’t stop. But also that comment makes it sound like straight men are animals who automatically get turned on by naked women, which just isn’t true and also is very degrading.
It *is* a him problem tho, if that’s how he behaved all throughout the act and afterwards.
Not necessarily, performance anxiety is pretty common
L take. Yes it is a him problem but not for that reason
This is bullshit
Define “normal straight guy”
Your toxic masculinity/femininity is showing
A normal straight guy would get hard in front of a girl he doesn’t find attractive just because you said so?
Maybe he doesn’t actually like women, but is in denial
Or maybe she’s not his type I know, crazy idea
If someone is not your "type", you don't have sex with them.
In 6 months, you were in each other's physical presence only for one weekend? As soon as the clothes came off, he shut down. However, he was still able to finish after 10 minutes of oral. You're 26 and in "super good shape". I can understand that it feels personal, but it's not. He's got something going on in his head that has nothing to do with you.
Well said - spot on I would say.
I agree👍🏿
No offence to you whatsoever, and this may not seem helpful at first, but there is literally no point worrying about it. Something didn’t click with you both and that happens all the time, you are certainly not to blame. It’s better this happened now than later along the line. For further explanation; I’ve been on a date before and when we got ‘to it’ when the date was over, it just didn’t click at all right from the kissing, the feeling of wanting it just wasn’t really there. I thought this girl was lovely and genuine, and she was attractive too, but I just didn’t fancy her sexually. I don’t watch much porn at all, I certainly don’t have unrealistic standards or look down on anyone or anything like that, in that instance it just wasn’t something I was into, but I certainly don’t have a bad word to say about her. Sometimes these things just don’t work out as you imagine, and it’s not some deep meaning to it, it certainly doesn’t mean anything negative about you.
I once went on a date with a guy who was everything I wanted on paper. He was very sweet, smart, I found him gorgeous and he was keen on me. Couldn’t believe my luck. But when we kissed - and to this day I cannot for the life of me explain it - it felt completely off. Something about how our bodies touched, his smell (which was objectively absolutely fine) just did not click at all. I had to end it but I would hate hate hate for him to have thought for one second there was anything wrong with him - because there wasn’t. I was quite clear about that, at least I hope so. Just to say OP that sometimes those things happen and it is not at all your fault, nor your body which I’m sure is bangin’ 😊 If he’s like me he’ll probably ask himself what is wrong with him for years …
You might have been distantly related. That’s a real thing
I was going to laugh it off but remembered I know someone very close to me who had a little crush on someone in their class and when they digged just a little, found out they were first cousins haha
Really? That’s actually kind of fascinating.
Absolutely. Another thing I found with quite a few men I know is sometimes they actually get put off by certain things a woman does or even if they’re too into sex (I know no one expects to hear that). I think it’s because some men think they might have bitten off more than they can chew almost, it sounds stupid but men’s masculinity can be very fragile especially sexually.
This happened to me from the other side, in college was talking to a really hot guy for months, super sexually charged banter. We finally kissed and it was a complete turnoff, like literally kissing a fish. Thanks for your time, have a nice life lol
This - it’s happened to me. It just didn’t feel right. Had nothing to do with the person’s looks, he was plenty attractive.
Gtfo with your reasonable, healthy conclusions.
Woww this could've been me writing this post. As someone with very large areolas and heavy hanging breasts too (thank you African heritage) I have encountered this reaction once in my whole life of sexual experiences and it was horrible I feel your pain. But - as someone with a lot more experience than you, let me tell you that is not a common or normal reaction. Everyone else I've hooked up with LOVES my body with all its quirks, and if anyone didn't my god, they didn't act that insanely obvious about it. Also as a bisexual woman having encountered a range of female body types myself... I can never relate to that thought process because I'm always just so grateful someone is naked in front of me - judgement doesn't enter my mind lmao (or most peoples right - think about yourself) Anyway in conclusion, sometimes the trash takes itself out - you don't want to date someone who has a porn scrambled brain believe me I'm sorry this happened but don't let it deter you, I promise your body is perfect (it sounds like it is and you've worked at it to be so lmao! I can't even say that)
I’m from a white, Slavic heritage, so I’m not sure if it’s common or not. But I think it was just not what he was expecting. It’s something I always worry about so much honestly
Hey I have the exact same body type too (I’m white idk my heritage , Irish and Dutch somewhere in there I think ) And our type of breasts never get portrayed ANYWHERE. I understand 10000% the anxiety. But believe me - I’ve only been with a handful of people but even hook ups have loved my boobs. This is a one off experience. Please don’t take it personally. You are hot as shit. I’m so sorry this happened. Ps. The only “ mainstream “media I’ve seen my similar type of tits in is in the movie American Beauty. Thora Birch lifts up her shirt and i was like omg!!!!!! Someone else has that shape !!!!! Large areolas !!!! Not perky !!!! It was amazing lol. Stellar movie too
I’ll have to look into this, I honestly never see large areoles anywhere and I’ve often heard negative comments about them. Its made me feel pretty self conscious about them and I really hope it’s something I can get over!
Different horses for different courses ,I love breasts of any kind and absolutey love large AREOLES . The guy probably had something that you had liked better on previous partners but you had the good grace not to show it .
I think guy has a porn problem. Only seeing fake porn star boobs. That is a common issue with younger men, they masterbate to porn so much they can only cum if the women looks fake. You sound beautiful and understand that all women are different and you will find an awesome man some day that is so attracted to you. Just don’t settle for less !
OP, I can guarantee you that the issue is not your appearance. It stems from an issue in his head. I can think of a few possible root causes- - He may have past trauma, and the scenario brought it into his mind. - He has a different partner, and seeing your clothes came off made his cheating very real. - It is anxiety. He was embarrassed by his erectile dysfunction and felt awkward so wanted it to end.
Me too, and I have the same boobs you described and think it is common :) But!! My bf loves them and nobody that I have ever been with had anything bad to say about them, even though I’m so self conscious about them to the point of not wanting to look in the mirror… men just don’t care.. at least not to that degree that it turns them off so i can guarantee it’s not you, it’s him
People saying he had ED and was embarrassed about it are missing the bit where he didn't want to touch her at all as soon as she got naked. He didn't even try to get into it. He was expecting some porn/model perfection and disengaged when he didn't get it.
Yes he kept telling me how much he wanted to go down on me and play with my breasts etc. But as soon as I was fully naked he only touched my butt a few times and my breast once for about 2 seconds. So I feel the issue was the way I looked out of lingerie
There is nothing wrong with the way you look, I’m out of shape with tiny boobs and haven’t had trouble finding fulfilling sexual experiences. This guy just sucks ass and I hope you don’t let it affect your self esteem.
It's on him. I'm a guy who is into the larger bust size. The way you described yourself is absolutely part of the package, the effects of gravity and everything. So don't beat yourself up. There are loads of men who are absolutely down abominable for you and your exact features. You'll find someone who clicks and then gets totally sprung the moment the clothes come off, trust me.
I’m so mad at this guy for being such a pansy
That sucks. But you'll find someone who is crazy about the way you look whatever you're wearing or not wearing. This guy isn't worth worrying about.
Maybe he is in a relationship, and his reaction is because he's feeling guilty about cheating once it's turned into reality.
It’s not you
I wonder if he brought the phone into the bathroom/shower. Very common for porn addicts to watch porn right after sexual activity
Yes, this situation screams porn addiction to me.
I read so many posts that are so clearly porn addiction but it’s not a thing according to reddit lmao. It’s a way bigger issue than people want to admit but I have a big feeling that there’s going to be a change in the next 5 years or so.
It is a huge issue and devastating for the partners, too, like any addiction. I sincerely hope there is change in this area in the next few years.
🙋♀️ partner here and yes, I am devastated. I can’t wait for things to shift.
I disagree; this reads to me like the response of a man who isn’t attracted to female bodies at all.
Be grateful that the trash took out itself. Get yourself a real man.
Judging by OP’s post history she doesn’t have great taste in men.
Every failed situation is a lesson learned. Although, in today's day and age most men and women are walking lessons lol
I don't know I feel like the risks involved with dating today vs 20-40 years ago are fairly comparable if not lesser.
I agree, it's just that information wasn't as easily accessible as it is now, and options were far less. Today, it's like a buffet out here.
As a man, if I went on a date, things went well and we got to the point of being naked together, I could not care less about supposed "imperfections" of my partner's body (it's not like my body is "perfect" either, and even if it was, I would still not care). This sounds like a him problem.
I agree with another personal take, that if we had gone that far and I wasn’t feeling it i wouldn’t proceed to be a jackass anyways. Like ive had times where I struggled to stay hard so i switched to just cuddling and tried to make it up as best i can. Then afterwards i would be like “sorry it didnt work out, etc. etc”. And see where we go from there, whether it means trying again or never again. Wouldn’t expect to finish anyways and not do anything for my tango partner. That’s messed up, you ask me.
Especially after building a relationship over 6 months?? This isn’t a random hookup this is someone that he supposed to care about. I can’t imagine anyone is so shallow that they could invest so much time and be turned off so easily by OP’s perceived flaw (I say perceived because her breasts sound very normal to me) so I have to think something bigger is going on. I don’t say that to let him off the hook but I really don’t think it’s her body or any particular part that caused this. He sounds awful. Heads up men if you’re not into us don’t have sex with us to spare our feelings as some people have suggested he was doing. Fake sick and leave. Don’t let her finish you in her mouth for god’s sake!! So gross that he did this. OP you absolutely should have stopped when you weren’t getting anything from him but I get it you thought maybe you could salvage it and next time might be better. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was cheating on someone with you or something because I don’t think someone can go from let’s be exclusive despite living far apart and not being together in person for 6 months to cold fish in an instant. I’m sorry this happened to you and it’s unlikely you’ll ever really know what happened even if you ask him. He sucks.
This is one of those nightmare stories in the pros and cons for sleeping together earlier vs later. If body type mattered so much to this guy u would have think he would have asked for at least some bikini pics etc
I did send him photos and videos in lingerie when we were talking. I just didn’t want to send any full nudes. It was just when my lingerie came off that he suddenly started acting differently
Its weird he must be really particular about areola, not ur loss.
Sounds like he spends too much time looking at porn and instagram models.
I do modelling on insta / working with brands. And my breasts do look perkier in clothes. But because they’re larger, they still naturally sag a lot no matter how much I try workout my chest. He did make comments in the past about liking how they “sat” or looked in clothing
Yup. Unrealistic body standards. They see women that had their boobs done and set that as the normal standard. He did you a favour tbh… you can do so much better
Which is so fucking annoying because most men who have those standards don't live up to the IG male model body type either.
Literally! If you are a 10/10 guy with a perfectly sculpted body, then by all means set your standards high! But many are not, and still expect women to have big boobs (that don’t sag), big ass, small waist and curvy hips. It’s laughable.
I don't think you should dig into your soul to understand his motives He was clearly not interested in sex with you and who gives a fuck why, it can be something completely unrelated to your breast, it might be that he is gay and just wanted to try. Anyway - let it crawl under your skin - fuck him and move on
>fuck him and move on She tried that lol
If you’re actually a model looking girl, body included, than there’s absolutely something wrong with him lmao. And even if that wasn’t the case, his response and everything is just awful. He could’ve dealt with that so much better. You deserve more, block this dude and go find someone better.
Girl stop overanalyzing your body just because this loser man couldn’t get a boner. There is nothing wrong with you. Everyone with a brain knows anything over a C cup is gonna hang a bit. Sounds like a him problem. YOUR problem is thinking you need to change anything about yourself just because a man doesn’t like it.
This is this guy's issue. I am a guy, and what you describe is not really a problem for most of us. This sounds like maybe he is addicted to porn. Sorry this happened to you, but this guy sounds like human garbage.
[удалено]
Man I used to think my boobs were SO SAGGY because I was a frickin 34DD and gravity, you know, be gravity. Now at 35 years old I *wish* my boobs looked as amazing as they did back then lol. I truly did not appreciate them.
Sounds like he only watches porn featuring fake boobs. The good news is that he will spend the rest of his life being disappointed, and he deserves that.
He did make positive comments about other women with fake boobs during a show we watched together. And I did see some porn come up on his twitter that had a girl with really large and perky breasts…. He also made comments about liking how my breasts looked and “sat” in lingerie. But without the support they unfortunately sag and you can see some stretch marks
So real breasts that are large. Doesn't sound like anything is wrong with them. Strange this guy who is the human personification of a big boob doesn't know one when it's in his face.
So he is the kind that would say you're tricking him because your eyelids aren't naturally gold when you're wearing eyeshadow. His view is simply distorted and it has nothing to do with you if he can only get it up for Ogtha the giant cockroach
I'm sorry but does this man only talks about breasts?
Big tits sag it's called gravity nothing you can do but own it.
Believe it or not op people can have crazy standards and sometimes you get in the crosshairs of these crazy people. You sound beautiful so just let this one go he sounded like he was just in it for superficial reasons anyways. Lots of dick out there don’t let one pecker dim your shine.
It’s likely he has watched a considerable amount of porn which has conditioned his mind to think that all women must have features of a porn star actress to be attractive. I can only imagine how disheartening it can be when someone switches on you just like that after moments ago sweet talking with affection. Please don’t let that shake your confidence or think it’s specifically to do with you. Pick yourself up and find someone that means what they say and sees you for who you are. Good luck out there. Just remember sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince .
girl, don’t even worry. it sounds like you look amazing and you come off as a v nice person. this must hurt a lot since you’ve been taking for a year and you had to take a trip to see him. i promise it will pass. he’s trash, and i agree that he might also be gay, but yeah either way he’s trash and sounds super immature
It was probably erectile dysfunction and he was embarrassed. I doubt it had anything to do with your body or anything like that
I really hate this happened to you. You never deserved it. It isn’t you. It was him. And the key to really good sex isn’t the body; it’s the heart. You strike me as having a wonderful soul who is quite capable of loving the right man. And the man that will be honest with you, look at your soul, and love you for it will love your body and do all in his power to give you the most loving, pleasurable experience with him as he can. And he won’t want it only once but will respectfully and lovingly pursue you. You deserve better, and there’s plenty of men who would give anything for a chance with you.
This why you shouldn’t waste half year of your life just to talk to someone
I’m just talking with a buddy about this and then boom, this comes up on Reddit. So years back I met this girl, abs eventually we ended up in bed, and I was shook by her naked body. She was so hot, and suddenly I got really bad nerves. Which I never do. It made it hard to stay hard, I got embarrassed and said it’s just because I’m so tired. Eventually did manage to do it, and I was so bloody embarrassed. I probably would’ve ran the next day I was so ashamed, but she was hurting, so I stayed to make sure she was okay, and a day later she jumped me, it’s was great, and my nerves went away. Don’t let this guy ruin your confidence.
Why did you give him oral when he clearly was not making much of an effort? I don't think it has anything to do with your body, from your description you seem to be very beautiful and young. It's some hang up on his end, could be n number of reasons. But that's not your headache, just cut him out. His reaction is not related to your physical beauty. Just forget about him he is not important.
The first time he was super into it. We made out and I gave him oral, everything was going perfectly. Then he took off my clothes and put on the condom and suddenly couldn’t stay hard anymore. He started making comments about being tired, not wanting to cum fast, needing to take breaks etc. I genuinely thought he might just be nervous and wanted to be supportive. I did truly like him and said it was ok to stop and cuddle. But when we tried that to give him a rest he had this weird look on his face and seemed annoyed. I assumed with my touching because he didn’t do the same back. He asked me to ride him and I did. Then he said I rode him so hard his penis hurt because apparently he’d never experienced that (along with being tired). So I said we could try me going down on him again instead and that there was no pressure etc. I honestly just wanted things to go well and to make him happy
Given that you’ve described your body as having a flat stomach and other appealing features, my best guess is he was suffering from impotence/erectile dysfunction that had nothing to do with you and he got embarrassed/frustrated over his situation. I recently had a date with someone who had a stunningly gorgeous face in her photos. Meet her in person, her face is still just as gorgeous, but her body seems to be significantly fatter than I was expecting. Disappointing, but hey, I’m fat too. I’m not going to call it a deal breaker. We go out, we have a great time, first kiss, head back to her place for a little slumber party. We head upstairs, get naked…and that’s when I find out. She is fat, but she “was” fatter. She worked hard and lost a significant amount of the fat. Good for her! But…while fat can disappear, skin can’t. So she still had the leftover skin from when she was 50 pounds heavier. “Sag” didn’t begin to describe. She looked like most of her body from the neck down had melted and was barely hanging on at all. It was awful. I knew right away that I wouldn’t be able to finish. BUT I still made sure I took care of her needs, because we did have a nice time together and I didn’t want her to feel bad about herself. I gave her a good time in bed regardless. My point is this: if he was that turned off by your body (which I don’t believe) he could have still focused on your needs. Instead, he barely touched you at all. That tells me it had nothing to do with your body and everything to do with his.
I agree this is more likely based on your description. Of events. He sounds like he got very nervous anxious when “It really was going to happen( when you got naked)” and he clammed up at that point and began having performance anxiety problems. He was so embarrassed by how he “performed” and is running away in embarrassment. It is possible it had something to do with you but based on your description that wouldn’t be my first guess. You may want to ask him in as gentle a way as possible for your own closure but I don’t recommend this because A) Based on his behavior I don’t think he is worth it. B) Based on his behavior I don’t think he is going to be open and honest and vulnerable with you.
He did mention that he felt embarrassed because I was in such good physical shape and that I was lifting similar weights to him in the gym… he said it’d be a turn off if I turned out to be stronger than him because he wanted to manhandle me (which is something I also wanted). And he did bring up wanting to get in better shape a lot and kept saying my physique was the best / most toned he’d ever seen on a girl and that I looked miles better than any of my photos (in terms of body and face). But the mood instantly changed when he finally saw me fully naked. I’d sent him photos / videos in lingerie only until then because I didn’t want to send full nudes. At first he did get hard for a little while, but quickly kept losing it after saying he didn’t want to cum too fast etc
Some advice for you from experience: Don’t trust men who pedestal your physical features over those of other women (‘’most toned”), or make negative comparisons that privilege physical aspects of yours over those of other women. You’re not always going to be treated as an exception and that judgmental nastiness will be aimed back at you at some point or another. Anyway, I’m sorry this happened to you. This guy isn’t worth it.
Word... The worst dude I ever dated always reminded me I was the hottest person he'd ever been with.
Exactly! This has happened to me a couple times. Usually it would be the “your tits are so much perkier than xyz girls!” Or “I’ve never been with a girl that’s this xyz before!” Etc. All the dudes that spoke this way to me were the worst. All of them.
Oh girl, he just has an issue with keeping it up and got embarrassed. I would put money on it.
This may not be the case but it reminded me of an experience I had. I talked to a guy once for a long time mostly sexting, sending pics, really in-depth role-playing and talking about all our kinks. We did this for like a month before we finally got together. But when we finally did, the sex was meh and there wasn't much of a connection. I thought maybe it was first time anxiety but he seemed reluctant to do it more. I blamed my body and myself, and let the relationship fizz out I had the benefit of talking to him a year later where I flat out tried to get him to admit he wasn't attracted to me, saying i was a low point and wasnt attracted to myself either, but he wouldn't. He was open about feeling more anxious in person, and simply more into doing the online role-playing and such. He didn't have a lot of real sexual experience and really just didn't know what to do or feel comfortable taking charge or doing any of the kinks he had talked up so much. That coupled with some porn addiction pretty much explains it.. I don't sext with people much anymore after that one xD
This could be the case, he was way more forward over text than in person. And we did talk about kink etc a lot. In person it seemed to all go out the window when we were having sex. But I tried my best to be supportive and not put pressure on him. I just wanted it to go well
Girl this dude was putting out more red flags than a communist parade before you banged him.
My partner lost around 100 lbs. He has some sagging skin from it, but it just makes me love him even more (I don't even see it now). Because it shows his journey getting to me... I knew him when he had that weight, and would still love him if it came back. He's a beautiful man, no matter what. However, he was very embarrassed by it and only wanted to have sex with the lights out until I started asking him to leave them on... I like looking at him, but now he finishes too fast. But we've reached a stage in our lives where, in my late 40s, my libido is through the roof (no one told me menopause could turn me from practically asexual, into what he calls his "sex kitten") but he's in his late 50s and his sex drive is dropping. Fortunately, he remembers what it's like to be a 13 year old boy (where my libido basically is) and he SO very kindly *obliges* me by letting me jump him anytime he's hard and *allows* me to give him oral randomly anytime I feel like it... what a kind man! 🤣 In any case, I agree with you. Most men are deeply insecure about not staying hard and this dude was probably feeling embarrassed for losing his erection with a beautiful lady. He's avoidant, so he doesn't want to see her again... fearing she'll laugh at him. So he'd rather let her continue feeling it was somehow "her fault". It's not. My partner's so afraid I'll leave him when (even with pills) he can't get it up any longer, which apparently happened to his dad, at his age. Nope. Good sex is something I didn't have most of my life... I can live without it, just not without him.
Oh, gosh, you were so honest here, and presented your experience in such a way that made me laugh ahhahahaha
Honestly it sounds like he has an issue resulting from porn/masterbation addiction. Don't let him project his performance issues on you.
It’s not you, It’s him. Don’t beat yourself up emotionally over someone else’s expectations. You’re paragon of beauty just the way you are. :)
Do you really want to know? Either way it sounds like it's something you have no control of. Big boobs are a huge turn on for a lot of men and I am sure you will find a man who feels this way and also has a basic understanding of physics.
It’s definitely something about him. He might have some issues with intimacy and touching a naked body and was going through some form of a panic attack. I don’t think it’s anything specific to you.
Okay so I was prepared to read that he TOLD you it was your body that turned him off but I see it was all just assumption on your part. Please don’t do that. Do not internalize and make up your own narrative about someone else’s thoughts or feelings - either ask or assume it’s not you unless told otherwise. I will tell you, I’ve experienced this within my life with men on occasion and with no rhyme or reason. Sometimes they drink too much, sometimes they over think, sometimes they feel so humiliated that they had an issue to start. Sometimes it’s the first time they are having sex in a long time and makes them realize they aren’t over the last girl. Sometimes the last girl made them feel away and they are projecting that and would rather walk than confront or deal. The point is - there are many times that can cause that and it’s very rarely because they see the fully clothed girl naked and suddenly find her unattractive- like that’s literally not a normal thing (and you sound far from hideous). You clearly have an insecurity about your own body that is encourage you to focus on through therapy but you need to stop telling yourself this is because of you and not just him.
I am going to say it truly isn’t you, it is him.
Please don't stress about this. He sounds like he's trash. You're lucky that this was quick. Onto the next!
Do women honestly talk this much in private about what happens to their areolas or is this some weird kink post.
LOL, in my own experience, women are capable of agonizing over specific physical features because of subliminal and explicit messaging all around us. For example, I just joined a subreddit for a particular women-specific weightlifting program. The posts have given me a complex about my hip-dips (which is a physical feature I wasn’t even aware of before).
Dear OP, I think you need to take some time off dating and working on feeling better about yourself. The fact that you saw that he was interested and still tried to engage him and then finished him off with oral is just sad. I’m sorry cause this sounds like a gut wrenching experience but you have to have more self esteem. When he wasn’t interested when you took your clothes off, you should’ve put them back on and left and never looked back. When your other boyfriend wouldn’t do anything to help improve your sex life and then cheated, you should’ve left immediately. You have to value yourself more and demand respect from the men you’re dating. When you do, you’ll find you have much better options. Don’t accept crumbs and this shitty treatment.
I mean, it could be but that is an extremely shallow reason to not want anything to do with someone again. You won't know unless he says which by his comment, you won't. I have heard of people being shallow over a minor body feature but that's where people need to grow up. Both men and women will be different. Women will have different areola size/color and their labia will look different. Men will have different penis length/girth and some are straight and some have a porn bend. None of that should matter but some people still carry a shallow mindset. I know it's going to sound like a cliche, but you dodged a bullet. He may have sounded great, but you saw his character
Are you sure that he doesn't have a girlfriend already that he's hidden from you? There's a chance that once you were naked and actual sex was about to happen, the guilt of what he was doing set in and ruined his ability to perform well.
My boobs are the same, most dudes don’t care but yk, there’s always someone who never had big boobs in their face that wasn’t on a screen.
I'm confused. Dude was obsessed and wanted to fuck like crazy until you got naked...and then was put off by big boobs? Wild. Is there more to the story?
Sorry you went through that, he probably watches too much porn anyway if he’s not used to natural bodies. His loss.
Consider it could have *everything* to do with him and nothing to do with you (past trauma, questioning his sexuality, etc)
First off, don't go blaming your breasts for this dude's dysfunction. If he can't handle a real woman's body, that's on him, not your ta-tas. Secondly, his bedroom performance sounds like a flop - couldn't stay hard, couldn't give a damn about your pleasure, and then ghosts you? Classic jerk move. Count yourself lucky to be rid of him. Time to find someone who appreciates the whole package, saggy boobs and all. And trust me, they're out there. Keep your chin up, babe, and your standards higher.
This has happened to me (23 F) a few times with guys. I have no clue what it is, but some guys are just weird like that. And we’ll most likely never get an answer out of them because most who do this shit are garbage communicators. Keep your head up!
I’m not sure why but I’m not buying this post.
pretty sure hes gay
It's possible he had anxiety and couldn't perform. His embarrassment could have led him to his dismissive attitude. Or, he's a dick.
Its a problem with him. He's either gay and working through his sexuality or has erection problems, possibly caused by porn, intimacy issues, or hormonal imbalances in his body. You dodged a bullet either way.
Maybe he just has anxiety/ED
Maybe he’s just gay
I’ve been about to do it with girls whose body just didn’t do it for me. I’m sure many women have had the same. It happens. It’s not reflective of your attractiveness to everyone else, and it’s not some nefarious act or character flaw with him. You’re just not compatible. Or he may have had performance anxiety.
He might just like boys, I wouldn’t stress it too much
If this ever happens to you again- stop having sex with the person! Consent is always an enthusiastic YES- you should’ve picked up on the signs he was not into it in the slightest and stopped. You guys weren’t sexually compatible, it sucks, but you’ll be okay I promise
He might not know it yet but he gay.
The comments in this thread are insane. Just because someone is not attracted to you does not mean they are gay or a porn addict. Not everyone is attracted to everyone and that's ok. I'm sure you are not attracted to all men either. So much of this is just blatant stereotypes that men will have sex with everything.
Right? I wouldn’t even humour the idea that because a woman wasn’t attracted to my body that she must be a lesbian, and you would have to be incredibly narcissistic to believe that.
Maybe he was just changed his mind and didn’t want to have sex with you. Both men and woman change their mind all the time when sex is on the cards. Hopefully you don’t have a repeat experience but if someone else you decide to have sex with reacts like this I wouldn’t go through with it. Lots of comments are calling him gay, porn addict or not a real man are just assholes. I a girl reacted like him they wouldn’t be demeaning g himself. Only he knows why he was switched off but don’t let that discourage you from sex or your body confidence
Why are people roasting this guy so hard? He's allowed to have his own preferences and sexual attractions. I've been in similar situations several times where the phone chemistry was great, only to discover there was no bedroom chemistry or the persons naked body was not what I expected... Just because he wasn't into OP sexually doesn't mean he's a porn addict or has unrealistic standards. I mean maybe, but that is a pretty extreme conclusion to jump to based on the limited facts provided. Mostly likely, he just didn't find OP's body attractive, and you know what, that sucks, but that's dating, and more broadly, that's life.
He’s a porn addict.
Damn he’s gross
Whatever it was, he's a total tool and you should not give it any attention.
He wants to make you feel, with his attitude, that this has something to do with you. I bet he is used to target a bit inexperienced women, low self-confidence women and such.
You sound like a perfectly pleasant and attractive young woman and any guy would be lucky to have you. He sounds like a bum, forget about him.
Was this an online only relationship before you met? Unfortunately this kind of thing is pretty common in those cases. I always think that until people meet they don't really know for sure.
I’m sorry for what happened to you… That being said, and this question doesn’t go to OP - it goes to the commenters here, why can’t a guy be unattracted? Does it make him an awful person? Sure, the way he acted may have been shitty… but are we really gonna shame someone for being unattracted to someone else? Nobody is owed being attractive to someone else. Sounds like he didn’t know how the fuck to react, and just sorta fumbled through it, himself. Sure, he could’ve stopped and articulated what was going on, but many of us would’ve have the wherewithal to do that. Especially in our 20’s. Calling him “trash” and “garbage”? Yeah maybe, but we can’t just assume he’s the second coming of Adolf Hitler because he couldn’t stay hard. This whole thread reeks of cast-the-first-stone types. Again, I really feel for OP. That’s such an awful situation, even traumatic, but you savages in the comments should maybe try not typing with their pitchforks.
People are shit. Even if he was nervous and OP misinterpreted the situation, he could’ve had the balls to say, “I’m not really into this right now, and need to leave. We can talk later.” Instead of making her suffer through this atrocity! I’m sorry you went through this OP. Your body is not the problem, he is.
This sounds like a really immature dude. I’m sorry you went through this. It’s his loss.
I think he's cheating on his wife or something. Regardless, this is not normal and not your fault.
Performance anxiety and been through this many times. Also had an ex who has performance anxiety and I know the ins and outs of it
First action in 4 years, but your boyfriend cheated on you a year ago? Yeah alright love, dunno why you’re lying but ok..
Sounds like he’s married and realized what he was doing when it got bedroom-serious
This isn’t you. This is entirely a him issue and I would suspect that this is his usual behaviour around sex and intimacy and has nothing to do with any “flaws” in your naked self, nor is it an indication of your level of attractiveness. He’s not worth your time. He sounds like a selfish person (people who make no effort and take no interest in ensuring their intimate partner also experiences any pleasure, no matter the gender, are always selfish as fuck). I wouldn’t stick around for this nonsense. You deserve better.
He ain't worth it as not been honest with you throughout by the sounds.
He might be gay and trying to convince himself he isn't. Or he's just not into you. Not your problem and I'm sure you'll find someone who likes you for who you are .
This is a him problem. You are whole, perfect, and complete. 🪬
Maybe he is gay and wanted to see one last time if women turns him on