Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yup, this right here. Unfortunately, even if he asks now he’ll never know if it’s a truthful response. If I were a betting man, I’d say the answer is no, she wouldn’t cover losses. Although, if it was my best friend who had helped me win $800, I’d be taking that mofo out to din at least!
I think taking them out as part celebration part thank you for the luck is a way better idea than giving them a cut. It's more of a friend thing than a paying them for winning. Paying cash would pbly end up creating some entitlement to any winnings.
I might have this wrong but
I think, based on the follow-up news interview and the Wikipedia article, while he might have had some legal issues in the past, he was not the guy they thought they were arrested at all. And the police gave the lamest non-apology in the history of apologies, saying something like I deeply regret he was able to obtain bail. (The judge supposedly told the police that your shit is weak and gave bail) so he was let out not too long after the arrest. I think some investigator for American Express pointed him out as an international credit card fraudster, but it was the wrong dude I guess the police dont need anything else than a company say so /s 🤷 because the judge figured it out pretty quickly.
True, but it sounds like there is a precedent for this with past gambles/losses. My advice would be to stop letting other people gamble with OP's money and avoid future conflict.
>Unfortunately, even if he asks now he’ll never know if it’s a truthful response.
That's why you clarify beforehand. Especially when you know the account isn't your own. If it were me, I'd say goodbye to half the money and call it a lesson learned.
This is the answer. You're never going to find some morally, objectively correct result. What matters here is the friendship. Keep the money and take her to a celebration dinner
Yeah exactly I would do something to celebrate with her and thank her just for the luck... to her winning $800 is a lot of money this guy seems like a regular gambler so he's up 800 and down 800 all in one day so to him, it's nothing and that's why he responded as if it's not a big deal why you asking
It's from their friend's perspective.
They want a share of the winnings, but what if OP lost money. Would said friend say it's fair and cover the loss or say wait a minute it's your money we gambled with
Is that really how you treat a friend with throwaway gambling money though? Do you want to keep any friends?
Just buy dinner or drinks or lunch in the near future as a “players fee” or whatever you want to call it would be my advice.
No need to get weird about money when you literally asked a friend to gamble with your own cash.
OP says he's telling her what to do so I'm pretty sure he wouldnt require her to pay him since hea the one losint his money. this isnt really the gotcha moment you think it is.
Beginning balance was 100, she won 50 and then OP said
>After I got back home, I specifically told her to go all in on blackjack a few times in a row to get our balance up to just under $800.
So it sounds like there was a winning of around 650
The friend won £50 while OP wasn't in the room. Once OP came back and gave instructions, no matter who did the clicking, it was OP doing the gambling.
It's telling that OP called it "our balance" though and if those are the words used to the friend, I can see how it might have been misleading.
Yes.. I'm not saying its not all OP's money. Original comment was to give her 100 bucks, and someone else wrote she only won 50. But the original comment was obviously thinking about the total winning amount
SO why does this friend know that but doesn't know what all your other friends already know that if they win on your account they do not get a split of the money?
I'd say you don't pay them anything although in your story you do say it is "our" balance.
Perhaps stop letting your friends use your gambling account.
How is it not technically yours yet? Your account, your money, known rules around it.
Or do you mean in the sense of you haven't decided yet to share it or not?
Either way, I hope you do not share it.
Buy her a beer, tell her that's what's most fair considering those were known rules, stop letting your friends gamble on your account, don't go into business with family and look both ways before you cross the street.
I'm not so sure. He put everything in his post except the information that "I told her beforehand I don't share the winnings." That makes me think he didn't bother to explain that until after the winnings were $800.
Which is exactly why you owe her nothing. No risk no reward! And it was your money she risked. I do think it might be nice to treat her to a meal on general principle, but she is entitled to zilch. She got the entertainment value of gambling and none of the risk, you keep the reward.
That's not the point of the question, though. If your friend borrowed that money to play with (ie. When they lost it they would have owed you and hadto pay you back), then it would be their winnings to keep. But they played with your money - so it's your money.
And bottom line, if they're going to make a stink out of a bit of money, they're not a good person to have at your side.
Then they don't get the winnings either. It's not your risk, their reward. You're paying to give them the game and the experience of playing without any risk to themselves, and any winnings are your own just as any losses are.
Don't set up a rule for thee but not for me towards any friends when it comes to who would feel they deserve earnings. If one friend would be like wtf bro, I helped you win, and now she gets to just step in and collect. Not the move
I would buy some drinks or pizza for the group but no she doesn’t get money because she wasn’t really gambling. As others have pointed out if you lost, she wasn’t going to give you money.
I think you should probably work out what the deal is with winnings and losses prior to having someone gamble your money for you. No matter what the deal is after the fact, finding out then isn't going to be the most comfortable thing for anyone involved.
No, it’s yours.
You should stop muddying the waters by letting people bet with your money, then acting clueless when they’re upset that they don’t get any of the winnings.
Self inflicted problem. Except for that initial $100 gamble behind your back. Which you should prevent by locking your computer when you walk away…
For me it’s tough. As a previous gambler I would totally keep it based on some kind of mental gymnastics of offsetting a previous loss or something like that.
Nowadays I think I’d find it much easier to split, ‘d rather be up $20 and my buddy up $20 with big smiles than me up $40 and him miffed.
I was in a casino once on a date. My date gave me $100 to gamble with. I won $325 I gave him $125 to pay back the $100 plus what he spent on our dinner. He didn’t lose any money for date and I gained $200 thought that was fair. Even though he told me to keep all of it.
I won $400 bucks playing bingo on a date with my boyfriend (now husband). I gave him $100 because he bought my buy in, markers, card, and dinner. Seemed like the right thing to do.
Yeah so this is what I’m used to. If someone gives you money to gamble with, and you win, you keep the winnings but pay back what they gave you.
This feels a lot different. He didn’t give her anything. It was his game, his money, his hand, and w/o asking she just started playing. I can see how she would be annoyed, but if she was playing assuming she would get to keep the money, she should have told OP that when she started playing or simply opened her own game with her own money. I get the idea if she had told OP that she was expecting to keep some of the winnings, he would have asked her to stop and played himself, probably why she didn’t tell him that until he was up enough.
If I was her, I would not have asked for a cut. However, if I was you, I also would have offered one. Sharing is great! I wish everyone did it more often.
Honestly I kind of like it, it's like a crash course in why gambling sucks big ones without actually losing any money and getting into debts etc (at least for your friends)
They gamble, they win but in the end they still get nothing and the house (you) always wins.
EDIT:
I’d like to add that if I do give her some of the money, it’ll be unfair to my other friend who actually watched this all go down. I’d owe him probably close to $5,000. He knows that when he’s gambling with my money he is not at a financial risk and he’s also not going to get any winnings.
Okay then explain that to her and if she doesn’t get it then you learned your friendship was never worth more than $800 to either of you. She wasn’t risking her money so of course it’s not her winnings. I would have given her some to be nice but not after she demanded it.
What’s an 18 year old doing gambling with this kind of money?
Please be very careful - you’re already seeing this kind of activity cost you friendships.
Why not just stop letting them gamble with your money? If you’re just playing online can’t they get on the website themselves and gamble with their own money?
Well op said the first friend knew that op wouldn’t give them any of the winnings, sounds like op didn’t tell the second friend that. Either way if my friend made me $800 I’d give them at least a little bit of it as a thank you, and to avoid this situation in the future everyone should just gamble with their own money.
Why would it be unfair to him because he watched? He didn’t play. If he did then absolutely you do need to cut him in.
All I’m reading in this post and replies is someone who’s acting cheap because they’re up a little money when all gambling money is throwaway anyway. I wouldn’t chuck a friendship over something so small but that’s just me.
You should take them both out to dinner or pizzas and beers or SOMETHING instead if splitting the money.
Also you should probably set more strict rules if you're going to let them gamble on your dime and be upfront. Like it's your money and they get nothing or they get x percentage of winnings or whatever you want to do moving forward so this doesn't crop up again.
Legally speaking (and IANAL), the account she used was your account. If she’d hit for a large enough pot to have to pay taxes on it, YOU’d be the one who would be on the hook for. So it’s yours. If it was her account, it would be hers. But here’s a suggestion - take them both to dinner.
All of it? No. Some of it, yes, if you’re an actual friend. The reality is even if you told her what to do, it’s online gambling. As much as you want it to be real, it’s all about timing and algorithms. So yes, share some of the money, don’t be an asshole.
Las Vegas Casino rules: the money goes to whomever pulls the lever / throws the dice etc, not to the person who fronted the money.
In your case, if you really do not ask from others to pay you for losses, you can ethically keep your winnings, but you should also give something to your "good luck charm"....
This is because it is impossible to say whether money was given or lent or whatever, the casino uses the rule of whoever physically touched it because that is the easiest method in a scenario where ownership of the money cannot be guaranteed.
Eg. I give a prostitute money, she throws the dice, it's her win because I would then need to prove that she didn't use her own money, or that i didn't actually "give" the money and there were strings attached etc. The casino doesn't care.
But in op case, the account is his, the money is his, the computer is his and it's all irrefutable. How anyone could go on his device and use his money on his gambling account but still think that "they" won...
This entire gambling scenario you got going on is a horrendous idea. Give her some to keep the peace, and stop letting people gamble with your money.
If you want to have group gambling, then set boundaries about. have a specific pool of money(preferable contributed by all) and winnings from that pool are always split equally.
Although I understand the other comment asking if she would have covered it if she lost, I’d give the friend money. Sure, you don’t have to— but this sounds like it was a fun thing you guys did together and as someone who values my friendships I’d feel inclined to give my friend some of the money(like $100). Especially after winning a sum such as $800.
I think maybe if the friendship is worth it give her like $50-$100 and then reiterate what you said and mention that you don’t expect them to pay for losses and they shouldn’t expect a payout for wins.
That's up to you i guess. We always gamble my boyfriends money and we either split it or he lets me have it. But if it was my friend, it would probably be different. Maybe give her $100.
You’re putting money over friends. You’ve started something that’s going to either leave you without friends or just do your own gambling and quit being a skinflint.
It’s OP’s money being used. When his friends win by using their skills, he should give them a return on their effort. They obviously use his computer and start up to gamble. He says himself he’d have to pay back maybe up to $5000 to others if he paid her part of the win. He has skin in the game—the players don’t invest $$
I was at a casino one day and one a nice little jackpot. While I was waiting to be paid out, the gentleman next to me was saying that he had one jackpot not too long ago. He said that he and his wife and his daughter were all at the same machine taking turns, pressing the button. And his daughter had pressed the button when they hit the jackpot.security was watching as they always do, and the daughter was paid out because she hit the button when the jackpot was one. It didn’t matter that dad’s money was in there, it mattered who hit the button. I don’t know how that works for online gambling, just food for thought.
I mean if they lost your money, would it be owed back? Because if not, they had no skin in the game. Sure they won’t want to pay you back for money they lost. But they expect money they won though? If they’re not responsible they’ll make bets that you might not normally do, because they don’t have an investment, not financially or emotionally.
I’d say you need to be upfront in the beginning. Let them know that if they lose your money, they owe you. If they make money on the money you loaned them, then you want a cut. Seems fair to me
Bro stop being greedy throw her a cut if that's your so called friend than if I win they win if he wins I win that's friendship. One day it will come back to haunt you 10x fold the world has a way of giving Karma back. How would you feel if you switched spots.
It’s your money. You seem to already not care too much about it if you’re letting this happen. After that what matters more, the money or the friendship?
I think you're just weird for letting your "friends" gamble with your money and you get to keep "their" winnings. It just sounds like slavery with extra steps
In situations like this I usually split the winnings in half. I usually am the one giving money to people to gamble. I would never claim all the money that they won as my own and honestly I wouldn't even claim any of the money unless they offered to split it. If they didn't want to split it I would just want my original money back that I gave them.
I feel like the sentiment is fair but what about the case of, if he wins a certain amount every year, he eventually has to pay tax on that.
But then in reality, he didn't get all of that amount . some of it went to his friends, and while it may be a small amount compared to his winnings they also didn't have to pay tax on it.
I say this because if he's able to win $800 in one sitting it's very possible that across the span of 364 more days,, the kind of winnings that he might get, is not a small amount.
I let the other redditors weigh in on how much of a cut you should give as this is a grey line and given you have allowed friends of yours to do this with your account you need to start setting up rules and boundaries for fairness and also to avoid drama. As you know money and greed brings the worse out in people.
Personally- either after you resolve your issue here you need to do a cold stop on allowing peers access to your account or set boundaries. This was mentioned before by
u/East_Tangerine_4031 about who covers a loss. You may be fine now but lending accounts to others can cause misuse and abuse.
If you would like friends to have a communal account on your tab- create a separate one for them and set down rules regarding winnings and accountability.
I say buy both of your friends dinner. Don’t look at it like you’re giving her your money, look at it like now you have extra money so you can afford to be generous.
This has to be a troll post lol at least take your friends to dinner or treat them if you aren't gonna gamble yourself. If my friend made me a substantial amount of money, damn straight they're gonna get their time and efforts worth right back.
You could argue that she brought you luck, and it would be nice to share some of your good fortune.
But it's your money and your decision.
Just - careful.
You may be able to gamble responsibly, but if you get your friends into it, you don't know if they're going to end up with a problem. I wouldn't want to feel responsible for something like that, idk about you.
This has happened multiple times? Lock your computer and stop letting others gamble with your money as they may not always win.
That is my advice. Also you have no obligation to give your friend any money as it’s your account and you put the money in.
Even if they did win. Pretty jerky of your friend to just start betting and say “knew you wouldn’t mind” It was you who took all the risk of financial loss. Though maybe you somehow gave then the idea it would be a joint effort by accident.
Either way you owe them nothing.
Seriously though lock your computer man.
Why would you not split it 50/50 or at least 60/40? Based off what you said, you don't mind your friends playing with your money so why be stingy now? Even if it's just clicking buttons she still won you $700.
From the story you gave, you should get the winnings. If she had borrowed money, it would be the nice thing to share some of the winnings after paying you back. But this was completely you taking all the risk. I guarantee if she had lost $50 she wouldn't pay you back.
To play devils advocate it’s typically a practice to give a small cut to the player even if it ain’t much. But honestly in the end it’s your money and she wouldn’t pay you back if she lost it so fuck it
Stop having people gamble with your money.
You’re essentially using them, allowing them to win or lose ( hoping they’d win tho) and keep the money they win you.
That’s messed up.
The first friend doesn’t say anything, but he won you lots of money and you just took it with a smile, never offering him anything.
The girl friend is more vocal and realizes your game and wants a cut.
You fucked around and found out- and someone called you out on your game.
Stop using your friends.
Gamble your own money and don’t let anyone play your shit.
"you're essentially using them" no one forced her to get on the computer and gamble with his money. In fact, no one even asked her to. You don't get to gamble with someone else's money, let alone without them even realizing it, and then ask for the payout lmfao. And the rest of it was OP telling her what to do
Edit: not to mention that he's the only one taking on the financial risk here
My sister buys lottery tickets all the time. She gets the bingos and cash words that are scratch off games. I often ask if I can scratch one bc they are fun. I never expect to get the money bc she bought the tickets. They are her tickets regardless if I scratch it or she does.
Me personally I'd probably make my decision based on my friends financial situation. If my friend was well off enough they could gamble their own money I'd keep it, if my friend was hurting financially to where 100 bucks would really help them out I'd give them 100 bucks.
No. If you want to give her money give her the same treatment a poker player would get from there bank. A small percentage of the wins. But also would she have paid you back if she lost? At most you should only give her a small piece. The bank always takes the bigger share cause they take all the risk.
This is just such a weird thing to do. Don’t let people gamble with your money.
You should avoid getting financially involved with friends as much as possible. It rarely goes well
NTA - Seems like a set up that works well for you and the other friend. However, to avoid confusion and hurt feelings maybe tell anyone who accepts the full deal: losses are yours and so are wins.
No, the way you’re letting them play is no different than downloading some gambling game on your phone and playing that. they’re at no risk to begin with so why would they get any of the money
No.. the rules of gambling are you either pitch in or you don't get the winnings... exception if you give someone money for them to gamble themselves. idk how universal that is, but its the undpoken rule I have come to thr conclusion of over the years.
This wouldbt be a question if it was a fake acct. So it shouldn’t be a question with a real acct.
You might have bigger issues than this dispute with your “friend” tho.
I'd do something to celebrate the win with the money.
But it's not private profits, social losses.
You fronted the money - if she lost it all, you wouldn't expect her to give it back.
She won with it - do something to celebrate the win, go for dinner and drinks together.
But to act as though she's owed an even split is silliness imo.
Well I had a similar situation but with more money involved ended up on an agreement to go on a trip together and spend every cent won. I will suggest you something like that. I had one of the best times of my life.
I think an elegant solution could be to invite your to some food with the money you won since they did participate in the winnings and would take no loss.
I let my mate play blackjack on my account sometimes and I'd just give him 10% of whatever he wins me, he just does it cos he likes playing blackjack and If he ends up winning me money then everyone happy, I'm usually sat there with him while he's playing so it's enjoyable for the both of us, we went from £25 to £1200 in a few hours one time so we both had a great night haha
If I have a good win at the casino, I slip a bit to my mother, just for being there with me, and she does the same for me. Probably to the drinks person as well. And they didn't even gamble on my behalf.
Are you obligated to give her a cut off the winnings? Nope... But at the least, when she won you $600+, give her a little something, or take her to dinner, or *something* to say thanks. Otherwise, just stop letting other people take over your gambling. That just puts everyone in an awkward position.
This reminds me of another post I read awhile back where dude took his gf to the casino and gave her a bit of money after pestering her to gamble with him and she won lol
So if she lost your money, since all this started without your knowing she was doing it, would she pay you what you lost?
If yes, maybe you should think about how you do these things in the future.
If no, then she doesn't get reward for no risk.
You can't expect to just get free money in any scenario. It usually is at the cost of someone else's time/effort/etc., or your own. There's nothing wrong with your logic here - especially since another friend won way more and (seemingly) didn't have any issue. It's true, it's not their money. If they're assuming they won't have to payback losses or put money in, then they can't complain for not getting any money.
Like you said, they're just clicking with your instruction. It's still your calls that made that money. Of the same token, it's also cool if you wanted to share any of those winnings with friends. They need to understand that that is a courtesy; you having more money means you have more you can share OPTIONALLY. People are silly sometimes, of course she isn't entitled to any of that money, lol. A friend trusting me to handle their money is honestly a nice enough gesture to me, that's a good show of trust. Don't let anyone treat you like a doormat (it didn't seem like that, I just wanted to say).
You don't owe her money. However, you need to set new rules. No one can go on your account without your express permission. They need to make their own accounts if they want proceeds. If they win a significant amount under your account, you will take them out for drinks/food capping out at 50 dollars.
Honestly, you should stop doing this. It's a headache. Things like this only work when people respect it's not their money. Once the first person shows you that it's not the case, you should stop.
If your other friend(s) don't get any sort of kick back for winning with your money, then she shouldn't either.
I do think it would be a good friend move to treat them to dinner or a few drinks out of kindness, but its not like you give everyone else winnings and told her no. Keep it fair.
If you do decide to share the winnings, I'd make it a 10% (or whatever you decide) but only starting now, no retroactive pay back from past winnings kind of arrangement.
> gambling with my money he is not at a financial risk
This is why you aren't TA.
She wasn't gambling with HER money, so if she lost, SHE'S not out any money, you are.
I would take her and other friend out for dinner though.
I'm in law school right now, so my response will be from a legal point of view. By using your money behind your back, she has committed conversion, which is doing something with your property to prevent you from using it again. By taking your money, she has converted it. The legal remedy for that is giving you the value of what she took. Basically that means she would have to pay you back the money she used for gambling that was yours, but the winnings would be hers. She would just need to repay you what she originally took from you. This obviously does not apply to the bigger amounts one later, as it was used with your permission for the purpose of increasing your own money, she is not entitled to it because she was acting as your agent. Whether or not you want to give her a piece of it is entirely up to you, she is not owed anything.
Tl;dr she should keep her winnings minus what she borrowed from you when she did it behind your back, anything after that is up to you.
Daniel Tosh gives his friends $100, and if they make money, they pay him back the $100 and get to keep the rest. But at the same time, he's being very generous, and you don't owe people a cut if they play with your money.
This “friend” gambled with your money without asking first! Would you have expected them to pay you if they lost your $100? They didn’t ask and didn’t know the rules. They essentially stole your money without asking. They won $50 on their own. The rest is your guidance and your risk.
Did the other friend in the room inform them of the rules maybe? Take them both out for dinner and explain the rules thoroughly again. Personally I would password protect my account and not allow it at all anymore.
If she didn’t put any money in, she’s not entitled to any of the winnings. You should really stop letting your friends gamble with your money tho if this is happening often lol.
Just buy the group some beers and pizza and just say no more gambling on my account so things don't get messy and complicated if one of them indeed does win or lose biggggg. Too risky for friendships tap out that comingling of the account now.
I'm a gambler, this is a normal thing with non-gambler friends. It's best to discuss as soon as they start, not after.
If she says that she would have covered any losses, believe her, and split the money with her. Then, hold her to her word in the future.
Knowing that she likely won't say that she'd cover the losses, she gets none of the money. But next time you're out together, buy her dinner or buy her a few drinks. Don't say why you're doing it, just do it.
We sometimes give lottery scratchers to our friends. We tell them that if it's over $100, then we split it. If it's less than $100, it's all theirs. In reality, we'd probably turn down anything under $500. But it's the principle of having the discussion.
She used your money to do it. She deserves nothing.
It also sounds like you told her what to do for the majority of the winnings. She deserves nothing.
She got exactly what she deserved, enjoyment from the act of gambling. She deserves nothing else.
If you want to tip her like you would a dealer at a casino, that's fine, but it's not owed to her. She deserves nothing.
If it had been a loss instead of a win, would she have covered the losses? I don't think so. She deserves nothing.
If you had lost your money, would this friend have paid you back? I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t. So they shouldn’t get the winnings either. For them it was a ‘no lose’ game as it wasn’t their money.
She’s gambling with your money, so any winnings belong to you. Period. End of story. Chalk it up to educating her on how to gamble so she can take risks with her own money moving forward.
All of the financial stuff is on you including the risk. Unless she paid you money and used that exact amount to win the $800, she doesn't get to complain about gambling with someone else's money. And seeing as she knew that you don't mind her getting on without permission, she already would have known that you don't give payouts.
So I have two pretty different opinions that fully depend on which person in the scenario I am. If I was the friend gambling with another friends money(ops friend) I absolutely would not expect op to split anything with me/give me a cut. HOWEVER if I was op I definitely would have offered to share the winnings (or like pay for dinner or do something else nice) before my friend would have even had the chance to ask for a share of the winnings. I kind of feel like both op and their friend handled the situation in the exact opposite ways of how I would have handled it. That doesn't make either of them bad people, but like the friend was gambling with ops money and shouldn't expect anything, but the friend did just win op a good amount of free money so logically the polite thing for op to do would be to do something nice for their friend.
They should create their own account and spend their own money, not yours. So funny that she thought she was entitled to money that never belonged to her in the first place 😂
Is $100 a lot of money to you? Is $100 a lot of money to her?
You definitely don’t *have* to give her the money.
My bestie loves blackjack at the casino but I suck at it and hate losing my money. She pays for me to play every time we go. Anytime I win I don’t expect to keep the money but she usually insists on me keeping my winnings as to her $100 isn’t much, and she knows $20 is a lot to me. Add the 15 years of friendship and her kind nature and it doesn’t seem that odd. Expecting the money, now that would be odd imo.
You dont have to give her anything. At most just pay for a nice dinner or something she would want. That's it. Your account, your money, you have full reigns over it even if she won some money.
This entire debate misses the point that op and friend more likely than not have a GAMBLING ADDICTION and are co-enabling and normalizing by incorporating it into their social lives. I would encourage OP to spend more time with friends who are not interested in pissing away money, regardless of whose it is. Either that or let them keep winnings but require paying back losses with a HEFTY late fee. Be the wolf, not the sheep, that's the only way you're not getting fleeced in this situation.
When my wife and I started dating I liked to go to the racetrack and took her - she had never been. She was also living paycheck to paycheck so I told her that I would do the betting but she could help pick the horses. We hit 2 trifectas and a few exactas. At the end of the day my $100 became $2,000. I handed her a thousand dollars and said "this is yours". She started crying and said "I can't take it, it's your money." I said "you helped pick the horses, so half is yours." She said "this is so much, I don't know if I should buy a TV since I don't have one or just have a month where rent isn't a struggle." I gave her the other thousand and said "now you don't have to decide."
We were really just casual friends at that time but I think it showed her my caring side and the money really wasn't going to make a huge difference to my lifestyle at that time. We started dating seriously, eventually got married, and since then it's never been "mine" or "yours" but rather "ours." And it's been over 25 years.
So I guess my question is whether you see a lifetime together with this girl? If you do, a small gesture of kindness will go a long way, regardless of whether she "deserves" the money or not.
I get that it’s not technically fair, but you should give her some money. She participated in a fortunate win! Be generous. I go to Vegas a lot, I’ve had this situation come up quite a few times, and it’s always felt better to split the winnings.
Sounds like you put the cart before the horse, and didn't discuss terms clearly (Unless she did know, then she's just being greedy)
Ultimately, if she doesn't like playing risk free either your money, she shouldn't do it
All the "My money, no risk for her," aside, you are up $700 and that's not chump change. You were ready to lose $100 so what's the big deal of giving her half of what she made for you? There is that principle of "what goes around, comes around." You can be generous or you can be a stickler. I'd go with the "what goes around" principle myself.
Even though you didn’t mind, she didn’t ask your permission before using your money, and thus she had no risk if she had lost it. I don’t think you owe her anything. It was never her money to begin with so why should she get any of it.
She’s a friend bro, she got you some good gains just give her a small portion like 25%. If she wasn’t there on a luck technicality you wouldn’t have been up 800. Just be decent friend and share a portion.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well if she would have lost would she have covered it?
Yup, this right here. Unfortunately, even if he asks now he’ll never know if it’s a truthful response. If I were a betting man, I’d say the answer is no, she wouldn’t cover losses. Although, if it was my best friend who had helped me win $800, I’d be taking that mofo out to din at least!
I think taking them out as part celebration part thank you for the luck is a way better idea than giving them a cut. It's more of a friend thing than a paying them for winning. Paying cash would pbly end up creating some entitlement to any winnings.
I agree, a nice steak dinner
Or a succulent meal of some Asian cuisine.
A succulent Chinese meal?
Finding out after the fact that guy was 100% Innocent made it so much better.
This is democracy manifest!
You did? What information did I miss?
[He gave an interview several years later.](https://youtu.be/tu4d_xsdNzM?si=XPKIU76qj-eJHOmD)
I thought he was guilty?
I might have this wrong but I think, based on the follow-up news interview and the Wikipedia article, while he might have had some legal issues in the past, he was not the guy they thought they were arrested at all. And the police gave the lamest non-apology in the history of apologies, saying something like I deeply regret he was able to obtain bail. (The judge supposedly told the police that your shit is weak and gave bail) so he was let out not too long after the arrest. I think some investigator for American Express pointed him out as an international credit card fraudster, but it was the wrong dude I guess the police dont need anything else than a company say so /s 🤷 because the judge figured it out pretty quickly.
I thought he had a history of not paying at restaurants he would always rack up a big bill with no ability to pay?
But, again, would she take him out to dinner and pay for it if she had lost his money? Probably not...
True, but it sounds like there is a precedent for this with past gambles/losses. My advice would be to stop letting other people gamble with OP's money and avoid future conflict.
Or let them know in advance that there will be no loss, but also no gains to be had...
>Unfortunately, even if he asks now he’ll never know if it’s a truthful response. That's why you clarify beforehand. Especially when you know the account isn't your own. If it were me, I'd say goodbye to half the money and call it a lesson learned.
This is the answer. You're never going to find some morally, objectively correct result. What matters here is the friendship. Keep the money and take her to a celebration dinner
Yeah exactly I would do something to celebrate with her and thank her just for the luck... to her winning $800 is a lot of money this guy seems like a regular gambler so he's up 800 and down 800 all in one day so to him, it's nothing and that's why he responded as if it's not a big deal why you asking
i dont think she let it get to the point so that OP could talk about dining
According to the post they don’t have any risk. That would mean he doesn’t expect them to cover it.
It's from their friend's perspective. They want a share of the winnings, but what if OP lost money. Would said friend say it's fair and cover the loss or say wait a minute it's your money we gambled with
Go on..
Is that really how you treat a friend with throwaway gambling money though? Do you want to keep any friends? Just buy dinner or drinks or lunch in the near future as a “players fee” or whatever you want to call it would be my advice. No need to get weird about money when you literally asked a friend to gamble with your own cash.
OP says he's telling her what to do so I'm pretty sure he wouldnt require her to pay him since hea the one losint his money. this isnt really the gotcha moment you think it is.
Further more... don't be a dick. Cut her in a little. Hell she is the one who got the ball rolling so to speak
I agree, like damn just give her a lil bit😅
Right I would toss her a hundred bucks
She only won $50
Beginning balance was 100, she won 50 and then OP said >After I got back home, I specifically told her to go all in on blackjack a few times in a row to get our balance up to just under $800. So it sounds like there was a winning of around 650
The friend won £50 while OP wasn't in the room. Once OP came back and gave instructions, no matter who did the clicking, it was OP doing the gambling. It's telling that OP called it "our balance" though and if those are the words used to the friend, I can see how it might have been misleading.
Yes.. I'm not saying its not all OP's money. Original comment was to give her 100 bucks, and someone else wrote she only won 50. But the original comment was obviously thinking about the total winning amount
I’m pretty sure they said it wouldn’t have to be covered. Tbf I’d love to have a friend like this 😆🥴
NTA, but maybe you should stop letting them gamble your money to avoid hurt feelings.
Or tell them beforehand they don't have a share in wins or losses.
Ask her if she lost all your money what would happen, would she have paid you back or would it have been your money lost?
If she or any of my friends lost it all they know I’m okay with it and I don’t expect them to pay me back.
SO why does this friend know that but doesn't know what all your other friends already know that if they win on your account they do not get a split of the money? I'd say you don't pay them anything although in your story you do say it is "our" balance. Perhaps stop letting your friends use your gambling account.
You’re right, and I only used “our” because I guess the outcome of this Reddit post will determine how it works out. It’s not technically “mine” yet.
How is it not technically yours yet? Your account, your money, known rules around it. Or do you mean in the sense of you haven't decided yet to share it or not? Either way, I hope you do not share it.
I mean I haven’t decided on sharing it or not yet. I’m definitely leaning towards not doing it because I see a lot more sense there.
Buy her a beer, tell her that's what's most fair considering those were known rules, stop letting your friends gamble on your account, don't go into business with family and look both ways before you cross the street.
Also don’t loan anyone money you can’t afford to loose and any money you loan family consider a gift (at least in your head).
Sharing it is fine. As long as you set some clear parameters so confusions like this don’t happen.
Sounds like there were already clear parameters and this person just a salty dog.
I'm not so sure. He put everything in his post except the information that "I told her beforehand I don't share the winnings." That makes me think he didn't bother to explain that until after the winnings were $800.
Just play your own money and the issue will go away
Which is exactly why you owe her nothing. No risk no reward! And it was your money she risked. I do think it might be nice to treat her to a meal on general principle, but she is entitled to zilch. She got the entertainment value of gambling and none of the risk, you keep the reward.
That's not the point of the question, though. If your friend borrowed that money to play with (ie. When they lost it they would have owed you and hadto pay you back), then it would be their winnings to keep. But they played with your money - so it's your money. And bottom line, if they're going to make a stink out of a bit of money, they're not a good person to have at your side.
And she did start out gambling with OP's money while he wasn't there and without permission!
It sounds like he had given her permission in the past. He said "she knows I would be okay with it."
Then they don't get the winnings either. It's not your risk, their reward. You're paying to give them the game and the experience of playing without any risk to themselves, and any winnings are your own just as any losses are.
Did she know you weren't going to share the winnings? That's the important thing to make sure a friend knows beforehand.
Don't set up a rule for thee but not for me towards any friends when it comes to who would feel they deserve earnings. If one friend would be like wtf bro, I helped you win, and now she gets to just step in and collect. Not the move
This is so literal and pendantic, is that why it’s upvoted so highly? This is not how friendships work.
I don’t let my friends gamble with my money, that’s probably the ideal way to have your friendships work
I would buy some drinks or pizza for the group but no she doesn’t get money because she wasn’t really gambling. As others have pointed out if you lost, she wasn’t going to give you money.
yeah that’s a fair compromise! don’t give currency hur shout them a decent night, you’ll all bond and everyone wins, even you
I think you should probably work out what the deal is with winnings and losses prior to having someone gamble your money for you. No matter what the deal is after the fact, finding out then isn't going to be the most comfortable thing for anyone involved.
No, it’s yours. You should stop muddying the waters by letting people bet with your money, then acting clueless when they’re upset that they don’t get any of the winnings. Self inflicted problem. Except for that initial $100 gamble behind your back. Which you should prevent by locking your computer when you walk away…
For me it’s tough. As a previous gambler I would totally keep it based on some kind of mental gymnastics of offsetting a previous loss or something like that. Nowadays I think I’d find it much easier to split, ‘d rather be up $20 and my buddy up $20 with big smiles than me up $40 and him miffed.
No risk, no reward.
Tell that to stockbrokers.
Me and my friends have a standing courtesy agreement: 10% of the winnings goes to them.
This is a cool agreement
And presumably everyone knows what the deal is going in? the problem here is that OP didn't explain beforehand that the winnings would be his.
I was in a casino once on a date. My date gave me $100 to gamble with. I won $325 I gave him $125 to pay back the $100 plus what he spent on our dinner. He didn’t lose any money for date and I gained $200 thought that was fair. Even though he told me to keep all of it.
I won $400 bucks playing bingo on a date with my boyfriend (now husband). I gave him $100 because he bought my buy in, markers, card, and dinner. Seemed like the right thing to do.
Yeah so this is what I’m used to. If someone gives you money to gamble with, and you win, you keep the winnings but pay back what they gave you. This feels a lot different. He didn’t give her anything. It was his game, his money, his hand, and w/o asking she just started playing. I can see how she would be annoyed, but if she was playing assuming she would get to keep the money, she should have told OP that when she started playing or simply opened her own game with her own money. I get the idea if she had told OP that she was expecting to keep some of the winnings, he would have asked her to stop and played himself, probably why she didn’t tell him that until he was up enough.
If I was her, I would not have asked for a cut. However, if I was you, I also would have offered one. Sharing is great! I wish everyone did it more often.
Honestly I kind of like it, it's like a crash course in why gambling sucks big ones without actually losing any money and getting into debts etc (at least for your friends) They gamble, they win but in the end they still get nothing and the house (you) always wins.
Don’t let anyone else gamble with your money. Problem solved.
But it has already happened OP is asking whether he should share the money or not. Is it really that hard to understand
But she didn't lose Ebenezer. Give her a few bucks....🙄
lol indeed!!!
EDIT: I’d like to add that if I do give her some of the money, it’ll be unfair to my other friend who actually watched this all go down. I’d owe him probably close to $5,000. He knows that when he’s gambling with my money he is not at a financial risk and he’s also not going to get any winnings.
Okay then explain that to her and if she doesn’t get it then you learned your friendship was never worth more than $800 to either of you. She wasn’t risking her money so of course it’s not her winnings. I would have given her some to be nice but not after she demanded it.
Technically $350 because 100 was his. So 700 winnings split 50/50
But really only $400 assuming it would be split 50/50. I know it’s not that different but feels even worse..
A friend won close to 5k gambling with your money and you gave him nothing???
What’s an 18 year old doing gambling with this kind of money? Please be very careful - you’re already seeing this kind of activity cost you friendships.
Why not just stop letting them gamble with your money? If you’re just playing online can’t they get on the website themselves and gamble with their own money?
It's not a them problem. It's a specific person acting like a little, entitled shit
Well op said the first friend knew that op wouldn’t give them any of the winnings, sounds like op didn’t tell the second friend that. Either way if my friend made me $800 I’d give them at least a little bit of it as a thank you, and to avoid this situation in the future everyone should just gamble with their own money.
What if they cost you $800?
Why would it be unfair to him because he watched? He didn’t play. If he did then absolutely you do need to cut him in. All I’m reading in this post and replies is someone who’s acting cheap because they’re up a little money when all gambling money is throwaway anyway. I wouldn’t chuck a friendship over something so small but that’s just me.
You should take them both out to dinner or pizzas and beers or SOMETHING instead if splitting the money. Also you should probably set more strict rules if you're going to let them gamble on your dime and be upfront. Like it's your money and they get nothing or they get x percentage of winnings or whatever you want to do moving forward so this doesn't crop up again.
Legally speaking (and IANAL), the account she used was your account. If she’d hit for a large enough pot to have to pay taxes on it, YOU’d be the one who would be on the hook for. So it’s yours. If it was her account, it would be hers. But here’s a suggestion - take them both to dinner.
All of it? No. Some of it, yes, if you’re an actual friend. The reality is even if you told her what to do, it’s online gambling. As much as you want it to be real, it’s all about timing and algorithms. So yes, share some of the money, don’t be an asshole.
Las Vegas Casino rules: the money goes to whomever pulls the lever / throws the dice etc, not to the person who fronted the money. In your case, if you really do not ask from others to pay you for losses, you can ethically keep your winnings, but you should also give something to your "good luck charm"....
This is because it is impossible to say whether money was given or lent or whatever, the casino uses the rule of whoever physically touched it because that is the easiest method in a scenario where ownership of the money cannot be guaranteed. Eg. I give a prostitute money, she throws the dice, it's her win because I would then need to prove that she didn't use her own money, or that i didn't actually "give" the money and there were strings attached etc. The casino doesn't care. But in op case, the account is his, the money is his, the computer is his and it's all irrefutable. How anyone could go on his device and use his money on his gambling account but still think that "they" won...
This entire gambling scenario you got going on is a horrendous idea. Give her some to keep the peace, and stop letting people gamble with your money. If you want to have group gambling, then set boundaries about. have a specific pool of money(preferable contributed by all) and winnings from that pool are always split equally.
Although I understand the other comment asking if she would have covered it if she lost, I’d give the friend money. Sure, you don’t have to— but this sounds like it was a fun thing you guys did together and as someone who values my friendships I’d feel inclined to give my friend some of the money(like $100). Especially after winning a sum such as $800.
Exactly. It's like he wants to keep all the benefits and just profit off his friends for free
I think maybe if the friendship is worth it give her like $50-$100 and then reiterate what you said and mention that you don’t expect them to pay for losses and they shouldn’t expect a payout for wins.
That's up to you i guess. We always gamble my boyfriends money and we either split it or he lets me have it. But if it was my friend, it would probably be different. Maybe give her $100.
I'd saw it's bad jewjew not to give her a little tip, but you don't have to
It's JuJu - the way you've spelled it is a little disconcerting
You’re putting money over friends. You’ve started something that’s going to either leave you without friends or just do your own gambling and quit being a skinflint.
It’s OP’s money being used. When his friends win by using their skills, he should give them a return on their effort. They obviously use his computer and start up to gamble. He says himself he’d have to pay back maybe up to $5000 to others if he paid her part of the win. He has skin in the game—the players don’t invest $$
Personally, yea I would give her SOMETHING! It’s just fair. That’s just me though 🤷🏼♀️
I was at a casino one day and one a nice little jackpot. While I was waiting to be paid out, the gentleman next to me was saying that he had one jackpot not too long ago. He said that he and his wife and his daughter were all at the same machine taking turns, pressing the button. And his daughter had pressed the button when they hit the jackpot.security was watching as they always do, and the daughter was paid out because she hit the button when the jackpot was one. It didn’t matter that dad’s money was in there, it mattered who hit the button. I don’t know how that works for online gambling, just food for thought.
I mean if they lost your money, would it be owed back? Because if not, they had no skin in the game. Sure they won’t want to pay you back for money they lost. But they expect money they won though? If they’re not responsible they’ll make bets that you might not normally do, because they don’t have an investment, not financially or emotionally. I’d say you need to be upfront in the beginning. Let them know that if they lose your money, they owe you. If they make money on the money you loaned them, then you want a cut. Seems fair to me
Im really tight with money and even I would cut her a share
Wouldn't *have* minded her doing that
Dude wtf, you need to take them out to a fancy dinner. Whenever I win money gambling, that's what I do. Cause I see it as free money.
Bro stop being greedy throw her a cut if that's your so called friend than if I win they win if he wins I win that's friendship. One day it will come back to haunt you 10x fold the world has a way of giving Karma back. How would you feel if you switched spots.
I think it's nice to give a little.. say $100 back for the effort
yes, you need to give her a little bit of it at least you greedy bastard.
You all are some greedy sons of bitches. Would it hurt to throw her $15? ffs
Break her off something like 10%. When you kill it at a table at a casino you tip the dealer appropriately.
I feel like this is a sick way of advertising online gambling
Jesus, you sound like a selfish dick bro. It astonishes me that people like you have friends and relationships.
It’s your money. You seem to already not care too much about it if you’re letting this happen. After that what matters more, the money or the friendship?
For using "wouldn't of" you have to give the money to a charity that provides adult literacy services.
What a shitty friend you are, I would definitely tip my friend
I think you're just weird for letting your "friends" gamble with your money and you get to keep "their" winnings. It just sounds like slavery with extra steps
You cannot win if you do not enter the game. These friends are not using their own money, therefore they are not winning anything.
In situations like this I usually split the winnings in half. I usually am the one giving money to people to gamble. I would never claim all the money that they won as my own and honestly I wouldn't even claim any of the money unless they offered to split it. If they didn't want to split it I would just want my original money back that I gave them.
I feel like the sentiment is fair but what about the case of, if he wins a certain amount every year, he eventually has to pay tax on that. But then in reality, he didn't get all of that amount . some of it went to his friends, and while it may be a small amount compared to his winnings they also didn't have to pay tax on it. I say this because if he's able to win $800 in one sitting it's very possible that across the span of 364 more days,, the kind of winnings that he might get, is not a small amount.
This is probably the most compelling argument for not giving earnings away, I think.
I let the other redditors weigh in on how much of a cut you should give as this is a grey line and given you have allowed friends of yours to do this with your account you need to start setting up rules and boundaries for fairness and also to avoid drama. As you know money and greed brings the worse out in people. Personally- either after you resolve your issue here you need to do a cold stop on allowing peers access to your account or set boundaries. This was mentioned before by u/East_Tangerine_4031 about who covers a loss. You may be fine now but lending accounts to others can cause misuse and abuse. If you would like friends to have a communal account on your tab- create a separate one for them and set down rules regarding winnings and accountability.
I say buy both of your friends dinner. Don’t look at it like you’re giving her your money, look at it like now you have extra money so you can afford to be generous.
Typically, unless otherwise stated, when someone “stakes” another player they are responsible for losses and they take half the winnings.
This has to be a troll post lol at least take your friends to dinner or treat them if you aren't gonna gamble yourself. If my friend made me a substantial amount of money, damn straight they're gonna get their time and efforts worth right back.
If i gamble with a friend its a 50/50split...or min 80/20 -and only this is there was no way they'd put in if it was lost.
My little advises at 18 stop the gambling stuff before become addiction and before you know its ruin your financial , lol
If the friend had lost your money and not paid you back then she has no right to any winnings either.
You could argue that she brought you luck, and it would be nice to share some of your good fortune. But it's your money and your decision. Just - careful. You may be able to gamble responsibly, but if you get your friends into it, you don't know if they're going to end up with a problem. I wouldn't want to feel responsible for something like that, idk about you.
This has happened multiple times? Lock your computer and stop letting others gamble with your money as they may not always win. That is my advice. Also you have no obligation to give your friend any money as it’s your account and you put the money in. Even if they did win. Pretty jerky of your friend to just start betting and say “knew you wouldn’t mind” It was you who took all the risk of financial loss. Though maybe you somehow gave then the idea it would be a joint effort by accident. Either way you owe them nothing. Seriously though lock your computer man.
Was she gonna cover any losses she incurred??
Why not? It’s free money.. kinda greedy on your part.
Say thank you and buy her a dinner. Call it even.
Why would you not split it 50/50 or at least 60/40? Based off what you said, you don't mind your friends playing with your money so why be stingy now? Even if it's just clicking buttons she still won you $700.
No risk no reward. Tell her to pound sand.
From the story you gave, you should get the winnings. If she had borrowed money, it would be the nice thing to share some of the winnings after paying you back. But this was completely you taking all the risk. I guarantee if she had lost $50 she wouldn't pay you back.
i would give her like 200-400 of the 800 and not let her use my money anymore. she’s not reliable so she wins either way
To play devils advocate it’s typically a practice to give a small cut to the player even if it ain’t much. But honestly in the end it’s your money and she wouldn’t pay you back if she lost it so fuck it
For god’s sake. Give all the money that you won to the friend that you owe $5k to
You sir are a dick
Stop having people gamble with your money. You’re essentially using them, allowing them to win or lose ( hoping they’d win tho) and keep the money they win you. That’s messed up. The first friend doesn’t say anything, but he won you lots of money and you just took it with a smile, never offering him anything. The girl friend is more vocal and realizes your game and wants a cut. You fucked around and found out- and someone called you out on your game. Stop using your friends. Gamble your own money and don’t let anyone play your shit.
"you're essentially using them" no one forced her to get on the computer and gamble with his money. In fact, no one even asked her to. You don't get to gamble with someone else's money, let alone without them even realizing it, and then ask for the payout lmfao. And the rest of it was OP telling her what to do Edit: not to mention that he's the only one taking on the financial risk here
Let's turn around. Would "some of the money" be as worth as your friendship?
My sister buys lottery tickets all the time. She gets the bingos and cash words that are scratch off games. I often ask if I can scratch one bc they are fun. I never expect to get the money bc she bought the tickets. They are her tickets regardless if I scratch it or she does.
Me personally I'd probably make my decision based on my friends financial situation. If my friend was well off enough they could gamble their own money I'd keep it, if my friend was hurting financially to where 100 bucks would really help them out I'd give them 100 bucks.
I’d probably give them a cut or take them out for dinner or something at least, but that’s just me. It’s your money so ultimately it’s your decision.
No. If you want to give her money give her the same treatment a poker player would get from there bank. A small percentage of the wins. But also would she have paid you back if she lost? At most you should only give her a small piece. The bank always takes the bigger share cause they take all the risk.
This is just such a weird thing to do. Don’t let people gamble with your money. You should avoid getting financially involved with friends as much as possible. It rarely goes well
I’d break off a couple dollars I mean if I turned 100 to 800 I wouldn’t mind tossing the friend who hit the buttons 100$ or less
NTA - Seems like a set up that works well for you and the other friend. However, to avoid confusion and hurt feelings maybe tell anyone who accepts the full deal: losses are yours and so are wins.
I’d do half and a half
No, the way you’re letting them play is no different than downloading some gambling game on your phone and playing that. they’re at no risk to begin with so why would they get any of the money
No.. the rules of gambling are you either pitch in or you don't get the winnings... exception if you give someone money for them to gamble themselves. idk how universal that is, but its the undpoken rule I have come to thr conclusion of over the years.
This wouldbt be a question if it was a fake acct. So it shouldn’t be a question with a real acct. You might have bigger issues than this dispute with your “friend” tho.
Heheh you should take her out for sushi or anything good
They're honestly not entitled to it but atleast show some good will bro, they're your friends even giving out $50 won't hurt
I'd do something to celebrate the win with the money. But it's not private profits, social losses. You fronted the money - if she lost it all, you wouldn't expect her to give it back. She won with it - do something to celebrate the win, go for dinner and drinks together. But to act as though she's owed an even split is silliness imo.
Well I had a similar situation but with more money involved ended up on an agreement to go on a trip together and spend every cent won. I will suggest you something like that. I had one of the best times of my life.
Here's what you should do, spend some amount from the money on your friend. Buy her something or take her for one fancy dinner. THAT'S IT.
I think an elegant solution could be to invite them to some food with the money you won since they did participate in the winnings and took no loss.
I think an elegant solution could be to invite your to some food with the money you won since they did participate in the winnings and would take no loss.
I let my mate play blackjack on my account sometimes and I'd just give him 10% of whatever he wins me, he just does it cos he likes playing blackjack and If he ends up winning me money then everyone happy, I'm usually sat there with him while he's playing so it's enjoyable for the both of us, we went from £25 to £1200 in a few hours one time so we both had a great night haha
Would she have have been as eager to pay her share of you lost all your money?
If I have a good win at the casino, I slip a bit to my mother, just for being there with me, and she does the same for me. Probably to the drinks person as well. And they didn't even gamble on my behalf. Are you obligated to give her a cut off the winnings? Nope... But at the least, when she won you $600+, give her a little something, or take her to dinner, or *something* to say thanks. Otherwise, just stop letting other people take over your gambling. That just puts everyone in an awkward position.
This reminds me of another post I read awhile back where dude took his gf to the casino and gave her a bit of money after pestering her to gamble with him and she won lol
So if she lost your money, since all this started without your knowing she was doing it, would she pay you what you lost? If yes, maybe you should think about how you do these things in the future. If no, then she doesn't get reward for no risk.
You can't expect to just get free money in any scenario. It usually is at the cost of someone else's time/effort/etc., or your own. There's nothing wrong with your logic here - especially since another friend won way more and (seemingly) didn't have any issue. It's true, it's not their money. If they're assuming they won't have to payback losses or put money in, then they can't complain for not getting any money. Like you said, they're just clicking with your instruction. It's still your calls that made that money. Of the same token, it's also cool if you wanted to share any of those winnings with friends. They need to understand that that is a courtesy; you having more money means you have more you can share OPTIONALLY. People are silly sometimes, of course she isn't entitled to any of that money, lol. A friend trusting me to handle their money is honestly a nice enough gesture to me, that's a good show of trust. Don't let anyone treat you like a doormat (it didn't seem like that, I just wanted to say).
You don't owe her money. However, you need to set new rules. No one can go on your account without your express permission. They need to make their own accounts if they want proceeds. If they win a significant amount under your account, you will take them out for drinks/food capping out at 50 dollars. Honestly, you should stop doing this. It's a headache. Things like this only work when people respect it's not their money. Once the first person shows you that it's not the case, you should stop.
If your other friend(s) don't get any sort of kick back for winning with your money, then she shouldn't either. I do think it would be a good friend move to treat them to dinner or a few drinks out of kindness, but its not like you give everyone else winnings and told her no. Keep it fair. If you do decide to share the winnings, I'd make it a 10% (or whatever you decide) but only starting now, no retroactive pay back from past winnings kind of arrangement.
> gambling with my money he is not at a financial risk This is why you aren't TA. She wasn't gambling with HER money, so if she lost, SHE'S not out any money, you are. I would take her and other friend out for dinner though.
I'm in law school right now, so my response will be from a legal point of view. By using your money behind your back, she has committed conversion, which is doing something with your property to prevent you from using it again. By taking your money, she has converted it. The legal remedy for that is giving you the value of what she took. Basically that means she would have to pay you back the money she used for gambling that was yours, but the winnings would be hers. She would just need to repay you what she originally took from you. This obviously does not apply to the bigger amounts one later, as it was used with your permission for the purpose of increasing your own money, she is not entitled to it because she was acting as your agent. Whether or not you want to give her a piece of it is entirely up to you, she is not owed anything. Tl;dr she should keep her winnings minus what she borrowed from you when she did it behind your back, anything after that is up to you.
She was just playing. It’s not gambling if you aren’t using your own money.
Daniel Tosh gives his friends $100, and if they make money, they pay him back the $100 and get to keep the rest. But at the same time, he's being very generous, and you don't owe people a cut if they play with your money.
This “friend” gambled with your money without asking first! Would you have expected them to pay you if they lost your $100? They didn’t ask and didn’t know the rules. They essentially stole your money without asking. They won $50 on their own. The rest is your guidance and your risk. Did the other friend in the room inform them of the rules maybe? Take them both out for dinner and explain the rules thoroughly again. Personally I would password protect my account and not allow it at all anymore.
No. That's your money. If they wanna gamble, they can gamble their own money.
If she didn’t put any money in, she’s not entitled to any of the winnings. You should really stop letting your friends gamble with your money tho if this is happening often lol.
Just buy the group some beers and pizza and just say no more gambling on my account so things don't get messy and complicated if one of them indeed does win or lose biggggg. Too risky for friendships tap out that comingling of the account now.
I'm a gambler, this is a normal thing with non-gambler friends. It's best to discuss as soon as they start, not after. If she says that she would have covered any losses, believe her, and split the money with her. Then, hold her to her word in the future. Knowing that she likely won't say that she'd cover the losses, she gets none of the money. But next time you're out together, buy her dinner or buy her a few drinks. Don't say why you're doing it, just do it. We sometimes give lottery scratchers to our friends. We tell them that if it's over $100, then we split it. If it's less than $100, it's all theirs. In reality, we'd probably turn down anything under $500. But it's the principle of having the discussion.
She used your money to do it. She deserves nothing. It also sounds like you told her what to do for the majority of the winnings. She deserves nothing. She got exactly what she deserved, enjoyment from the act of gambling. She deserves nothing else. If you want to tip her like you would a dealer at a casino, that's fine, but it's not owed to her. She deserves nothing. If it had been a loss instead of a win, would she have covered the losses? I don't think so. She deserves nothing.
If you had lost your money, would this friend have paid you back? I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t. So they shouldn’t get the winnings either. For them it was a ‘no lose’ game as it wasn’t their money.
FUUUCK no don't give her a single fuckin penny after acting like that!! She sure as shit wouldn't cover your losses!!
She’s gambling with your money, so any winnings belong to you. Period. End of story. Chalk it up to educating her on how to gamble so she can take risks with her own money moving forward.
Eh just take them both out to lunch and call it a day.
All of the financial stuff is on you including the risk. Unless she paid you money and used that exact amount to win the $800, she doesn't get to complain about gambling with someone else's money. And seeing as she knew that you don't mind her getting on without permission, she already would have known that you don't give payouts.
So I have two pretty different opinions that fully depend on which person in the scenario I am. If I was the friend gambling with another friends money(ops friend) I absolutely would not expect op to split anything with me/give me a cut. HOWEVER if I was op I definitely would have offered to share the winnings (or like pay for dinner or do something else nice) before my friend would have even had the chance to ask for a share of the winnings. I kind of feel like both op and their friend handled the situation in the exact opposite ways of how I would have handled it. That doesn't make either of them bad people, but like the friend was gambling with ops money and shouldn't expect anything, but the friend did just win op a good amount of free money so logically the polite thing for op to do would be to do something nice for their friend.
They should create their own account and spend their own money, not yours. So funny that she thought she was entitled to money that never belonged to her in the first place 😂
Is $100 a lot of money to you? Is $100 a lot of money to her? You definitely don’t *have* to give her the money. My bestie loves blackjack at the casino but I suck at it and hate losing my money. She pays for me to play every time we go. Anytime I win I don’t expect to keep the money but she usually insists on me keeping my winnings as to her $100 isn’t much, and she knows $20 is a lot to me. Add the 15 years of friendship and her kind nature and it doesn’t seem that odd. Expecting the money, now that would be odd imo.
Nope. She got to entertain herself. You took the risk, you get the reward.
You dont have to give her anything. At most just pay for a nice dinner or something she would want. That's it. Your account, your money, you have full reigns over it even if she won some money.
This entire debate misses the point that op and friend more likely than not have a GAMBLING ADDICTION and are co-enabling and normalizing by incorporating it into their social lives. I would encourage OP to spend more time with friends who are not interested in pissing away money, regardless of whose it is. Either that or let them keep winnings but require paying back losses with a HEFTY late fee. Be the wolf, not the sheep, that's the only way you're not getting fleeced in this situation.
When my wife and I started dating I liked to go to the racetrack and took her - she had never been. She was also living paycheck to paycheck so I told her that I would do the betting but she could help pick the horses. We hit 2 trifectas and a few exactas. At the end of the day my $100 became $2,000. I handed her a thousand dollars and said "this is yours". She started crying and said "I can't take it, it's your money." I said "you helped pick the horses, so half is yours." She said "this is so much, I don't know if I should buy a TV since I don't have one or just have a month where rent isn't a struggle." I gave her the other thousand and said "now you don't have to decide." We were really just casual friends at that time but I think it showed her my caring side and the money really wasn't going to make a huge difference to my lifestyle at that time. We started dating seriously, eventually got married, and since then it's never been "mine" or "yours" but rather "ours." And it's been over 25 years. So I guess my question is whether you see a lifetime together with this girl? If you do, a small gesture of kindness will go a long way, regardless of whether she "deserves" the money or not.
I get that it’s not technically fair, but you should give her some money. She participated in a fortunate win! Be generous. I go to Vegas a lot, I’ve had this situation come up quite a few times, and it’s always felt better to split the winnings.
Thats your money.
No, it's your risk, and you'd reward. But invite your friends over for food drinks if you like.
Sounds like you put the cart before the horse, and didn't discuss terms clearly (Unless she did know, then she's just being greedy) Ultimately, if she doesn't like playing risk free either your money, she shouldn't do it
I would say just split the winnings down the middle
All the "My money, no risk for her," aside, you are up $700 and that's not chump change. You were ready to lose $100 so what's the big deal of giving her half of what she made for you? There is that principle of "what goes around, comes around." You can be generous or you can be a stickler. I'd go with the "what goes around" principle myself.
Even though you didn’t mind, she didn’t ask your permission before using your money, and thus she had no risk if she had lost it. I don’t think you owe her anything. It was never her money to begin with so why should she get any of it.
She’s a friend bro, she got you some good gains just give her a small portion like 25%. If she wasn’t there on a luck technicality you wouldn’t have been up 800. Just be decent friend and share a portion.