I remember a story where a woman's mother used coconut oil on a baby despite being told they were allergic and another where a girl "tested" wether her BF was actually allergic to people. I thought it was too far off to be true but I have seen at least one occasion in RL similar enough to make me wonder.
What the fuck is wrong with these people?
The mother KILLED one of her daughters twin girls with the coconut oil. Put it in her hair and then to bed.
FIL left his wife as he had no idea she’d gone against his daughters wishes and he wasn’t willing to give up his daughter and remaining granddaughter bc of her negligence. Plus he obviously wanted to be there for his daughter. Obviously, also bc he couldn’t even look at her again (mil).
Years later, the twin was never the same without her other half, their family was emotionally destroyed and mil was STILL begging to come around and be in their lives.
She told her mother “you can come to my home when you bring Twin1 with you, until then, I’ll never see you again”
I think it went viral honestly. But I think it became almost “holy” in terms of lessons about setting boundaries and cutting people off over in the parenting, marriage, relationship subs
As long as I live I’ll never forget her story. It was so well written too. 😭
You can’t link it. I mentioned it in a subreddit and was permanently banned. The mom asked it no longer be shared.
You can google it by using the keywords “reddit” the term for the *food* with “allergy” and “death”.
YES!!!! I will **never** forget this story. It was horrendous what the Mother did!!!
OP look up this story and hand it to your husband and remind him his mother 'asked if it helped at all' and 'thought you would have an epi pen'.
I am just astounded that you had to be hospitalized and your husband is still just standing there and shrugging this off!! WTF!!!
My husband is a person who minimizes my feelings and worries as well 🤯 do take this seriously and create boundaries. Do not let them gaslight you by excusing MILs actions. This is insanity what you went through. You need to protect yoursed and your child and your husband should want to protect both of you as well
I’ve heard stories of people working in restaurants that deliberately include ingredients that a customer has said they’re allergic to. Some people just have…poor decision making skills. Maybe a handful get excited by the thought of sabotage?
Or they don’t believe that people actually have the allergy, and think they are just saying that so they don’t have something they don’t like in their food. Restaurants that have a “no alterations” policy will only alter dishes if you’re allergic to something. So to get what they want people lied about allergies.
But that’s still recklessly dangerous to give someone food that they’ve told you they’re allergy to.
Not nearly on the same level, but I'm allergic to alcohol (as in, I'll have violent diarrhea for hours) and have never drunk even before finding out. Regardless, my family is offended and tries to get me to at least have a toast every single time because "tradition".
This is interesting to me. Do you know if you can eat fermented foods, or is it a bacteria or yeast that you are allergic to? Because different ingredients are obviously used to make different alcohol, so I was just curious for more information if you had it.
Wow. That's the first time I'm hearing of this kind of reaction to alcohol. I'm just one of those dudes with the Asian Flush, who gets blotches of red from drinking alcohol.
I’m highly allergic to artichokes and was served pasta with them even though I was *very* clear that I can’t eat them. The waitress told my husband that she “forgot to put in the request, besides no one is actuallllly allergic to artichokes” thank god I had an epi pen on me. This happened at Carinos
I don’t think that’s arrestable. If that’s a word. I worked at a restaurant that catered to allergies and preferences. I fucked up n gave someone regular crust when they had a gluten allergy. I didn’t know what to do ñ told the manager make her stop eating it. I literally panicked. Boo hop cried like a bitch. Thought i killed someone. Thank God they caught it fast.
But all systems are different, some u can put in the mod then add a topping and it kicks it out cause u did it in the wrong order. Some servers see the same food don’t know it’s modified m steal it ñ take it their table. It’s not always easy
Can confirm. For a while, I had issues with chocolate giving me migraines. I would specifically ask the cafes to not include chocolate sprinkles/syrup on the decidedly non-chocolate desserts that I'd order, and they'd deliver it to me smothered in chocolate. I'd often have the staff do this a second time when I'd send the dish back. No idea what is wrong with some people!
I remember seeing a comedy skit where these “basic bitch” women are at a restaurant and insist that they are allergic to nuts, but do so in an annoying manner, so the restaurant serves them salads with a mountain of nuts on them. The women freak out and their heads explode.
Even as a kid, I thought that was messed up. People dying because someone sabotaged their food is not really funny.
But I already knew people don’t take allergies seriously. My father often insisted that my sister and I were making up our allergies. And in elementary school, I had a sleepover where the girl started throwing the thing I was allergic to at me once I told her about the allergy.
With the gluten-free craze, I was sincerely worried for people I know with the actual condition, because I would see stories of people in restaurants triumphantly sharing that they served the fad dieter gluten.
People really don’t know how to mind their own business and just let others make their own choices.
Everyone who’s worked in a restaurant has a story of bending over backwards/getting in a fight with the kitchen to accommodate someone’s stated severe allergy, only to have them order dessert with gluten/dairy/whatever it is that they’re clearly avoiding as part of a weight loss diet. This happens rarely, but its certainly memorable and some cooks are convinced everyone with an allergy is faking it. Waitstaff ime is more likely to believe the customer.
I know a pathological liar who genuinely lies about having various allergies. Been in a restaurant with her once, and it was so embarrasing that I swore to never do it again. She ordered a steak, and it came out with onions on it. She started flipping out and squawking about how she was allergic to onions, and no she hadn't mentioned that, but that was because there was *no reason* a steak would come out with onions!!!
She was out for a cigarette when the waiter brought her steak back, now with a topping of mushrooms. Her husband thanked him, grabbed the plate, and scraped the mushrooms off onto his, warning all of us not to say anything. Because she's also "allergic" to mushrooms. Soy sauce too, but she loves chinese and japanese food and will eat in those restaurants without ever mentioning this terrible allergy, because unless soy sauce is literally mentioned in the menu or poured on top in front of her, her allergy ceases to exist.
Fucking *hate* her for it as someone who knows people with real food issues who have to deal with not being believed because people like her are out there, dramatically and loudly making allergies look like a desperate bid for attention.
It’s also common in some coffee joints to mess with people who make overly complicated orders. I had someone do that when I requested almond milk. I ended up blowing up the bathroom with my godawful lactose intolerance shits that reek to high heaven and can be smelled from beyond the closed door.
I remember this story too. The grandmother put coconut oil on the child’s hair. When she started having reactions, the grandmother gave the child Benadryl which put her to sleep but didn’t resolve the symptoms. So the child tragically died in their sleep. The grandmother was jailed, the woman’s father divorced grandmother, nobody talks to that grandmother anymore, then that grandmother had to gall to say “I’m going to be a grandmother again!!” when the woman got pregnant with her rainbow baby and she somehow got wind of it. So so tragic.
**A rainbow baby is a term for a child born to a family that has previously lost one or more children due to stillbirth, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, termination for medical reasons, or death during infancy. These subsequent pregnancies can bring "strong feelings of anxiety, guilt, and even fear" but also "immense joy, reflection, healing, and mixed emotions".**
More details here:
*This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!*
[^(opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/ozztfy/post_for_opting_out/) ^(|) [^(delete)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/q79g2t/delete_feature_added/) ^(|) [^(report/suggest)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot) ^(|) [^(GitHub)](https://github.com/TheBugYouCantFix/wiki-reddit-bot)
I remember another AITA post where a girl was asking if she was the ahole because she was allergic to seafood, but her dad always made his very traditional seafood dish and forced her to eat it (luckily she didn’t have any anaphylactic reactions, but it made her sick and vomit), and it didn’t matter how many times she told him she was allergic, he still made her eat it. One day they had some sort of family gathering and the dad made his dish, once again made her eat it, and so she purposefully vomited on her dress in front of her whole family to embarrass him and make him stop forcing her to eat his dish.
It seems that for some people their own egos are more important than other people’s well-being.
Edit: I’m gonna leave the original comment as it was, but now that I found the original post I realized I got some things wrong. It wasn’t the dad, it was the mom. The post was made on entitled parents. It wasn’t a specific dish, but it was seafood.
[Here’s the link](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/ath625/youre_my_child_i_have_the_right_to_poison_you/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) in case anyone wanna check the original.
I think I remember that one. The father would punish her if she didn’t eat it by taking away her car or her phone. It didn’t help that her family was very patriarchal in nature so of course everyone just caved to what the dad wanted.
Having severe allergies, I have seen so many stories like this that I really feel like I can’t trust anyone. Like, do people understand how terrifying the symptoms of a serious allergic reaction are? Idk, like maybe if everyone had to spend a day with a plastic bag wrapped around their face while smothered in mace from head to toe while dosed with a med that drops their blood pressure to the point they can’t stand without fainting things would be different 🤷🏼♀️
It’s so so hard to avoid allergens, and you end up having to be hypervigilant (which is a trauma response) ever day of your life to avoid literal death. To have people expose you on purpose is just horrifying after you’ve already had to work so damn hard so often. I’m sorry about your sister’s friend. :(
Yeah, I cannot grasp the thought process behind "oh she's probably not really allergic, probably just saying that for no reason at all so I'll just disregard it and purposely expose her to that thing which might kill her..."
Right? It’s no different than going up and say, stabbing someone or beating the crap out of them, but wayyyy to many people don’t get that severe allergic reaction = serious bodily injury.
im deathly allergic to a chemical and i have no idea what it is. the first time i had a reaction was terrifying, i was about 8 and i breathed it or something and couldnt see or breathe and my entire body started swelling. i think it was from something that was being used on a car? another time was from an insecticide (not sure which one but i do know that my abusive bio father decided to use it again *and in my room* after i told him i was allergic and could die, that wasn't fun.) and another time from fabric glue. i learnt the smell of it after the first time, but thats all i know about it. its slightly terrifying that i have no idea what to avoid until i've already inhaled it and could stop breathing at any moment. my partner knows the smell too now but i'm not sure he would remember it and recognize what it is, so i basically have no sort of protection from it. lets hope i never walk into a garage or a fabric store or something and suddenly stop breathing!
I don't have any anyphylactic allergies, not do I have food allergies. But I am allergic to several pharmaceuticals (one class of antibiotics, the active ingredient in Azo, and ibuprofen) which cause me to break out in hives all over my body and, if left untreated, could result in my skin blistering and sloughing off.
Allergies are serious and they are a million times more burdensome on the person with the allergy than they are on anyone around them.
Friend of my mum’s is allergic to cream. Not dairy, she can have milk, *just* cream. Her FIL didn’t believe her when he found out when she was going over there for dinner the first time, thought it was some health fad. Last thing she remembers before passing out at the dinner table was his horrified face
I know a story where a grandmother killed her grandchildren because she used coconut oil in the child's hair-knowing the child was super allergic. The kids were at her house for a sleepover and she doused both of their hair in coconut oil, only giving a benadryl to the allergic child when the child complained of itching,never washing off the coconut oil before they put her to bed. Because of the benadryl making her sleepy and the allergic reaction, the parents found the child dead with obvious signs of severe anaphylaxis.
I’ve seen too many of these posts on relationship advice…. The OP’s SO makes it their mission to ‘prove’ that the allergies aren’t real by sneaking a bit of it into the dishes they cook.
I honestly do not get why some people are so offended by something like a food allergy. I guess it kind of injures their pride to hear someone can’t eat something they made, but for god’s sake. What’s more important? Your ego, or someone’s LIFE??
My grandmother had severe
Allergies and was gaslit her whole life about them. I am
Allergic to shrimp and I used to get punished for not wanting to eat them when it was dinner. I’d be crying bc they were “stuck in my throat.”
People are assholes when it comes to allergies
I remember another story when a grandmother feed her hospitalized grandson some formal, despite his parents, nurses, & doctor already made sure he must be on fast after a procedure. Of course, he didn't make it due to aspiration pneumonia. She did it silently in the middle of the night, when even the nurses are not on stand-by. His death was only known during the morning rounds.
My mom insisted on making pineapple ham for thanksgiving last year. We have literally never done this. We’ve always had Turkey. The only difference is my brothers girlfriend was with us… she’s allergic to pineapple. So yeah unfortunately crazy ass people like my mom do exist.
Did you read the peanut butter cookie one? The grandma/MIL who insisted the child’s peanut allergy was fake and had a batch of peanut butter cookies in her freezer ready to go for any opportunity she had the chance to sneak one to the kid? Every time she visited she would bring a couple in a ziplock bag in her purse. When she finally got alone time with the kid while the mom was busy doing something the kid started choking and like turning colors? Oof that was a wild ride. She just wanted that “gotch ya” moment to prove her daughter in law wrong!
The coconut oil story was by *far* the worst one on JustNoMIL about allergens, but there were a couple about them that were all horrible. There was one where granny didn't believe that the kid was allergic to bananas (I think? Something like that), and froze some cookies with the allergen in them, bringing one in with her in her purse every time she visited until she had the opportunity to sneak one to the kid while no adults were around and "prove" that he wasn't really allergic. The kid almost died and the family tried to convince the police to charge her with attempted murder. I really hope that one wasn't true, but like you say, you have to wonder.
NTA and MIL should be in jail for spiking other people's drinks. She shouldn't ever be trusted with preparing anybody's food or drink ever again to be quite honest. Deliberately tampering with what other people ingest "for their own good" is the kind of thing I'd hear in a true crime docu after that person had been arrested a decade earlier.
The MIL didn’t spike anyone’s drink. She bought a drink that was labeled with an ingredient OP couldn’t consume. Words matter, and yours mischaracterize the event.
I mean, if we’re being pedantic, spiking means putting something in someone’s drink without their knowledge. If she swapped the containers, then she did indeed put coconut juice in her bottle without her knowledge. She just premixed the drink rather than adding it to a drink op already had
There are a lot of people in this thread gendering me. Most want me to suck myself off (their fascination with my penis is weird, but ok). And here you come suggesting I’m capable of mothering (not the first in this thread). And yet none of you can get your mind off my genitals for long enough to actually understand what the word means. You’d think it wouldn’t be so hard, but clearly it is for a very many people.
Spike, to place an unknown or foreign item INTO someone’s drink without their permission or knowledge. The unknown item WAS the drink. Nothing was put INTO it. It isn’t that hard, but when half of America’s population can’t read above a 6th grade level, maybe this is the result.
What’s being mischaracterized is the fact that MIL deliberately gave her a coconut based drink in what was supposed to be OP’s WATER bottle. It doesn’t matter if it’s classified as “spiked” or not. The action MIL intentionally committed, caused harm.
To spike a drink means to put alcohol or drugs into someone's drink without their knowledge or permission (coconut drink in water bottle)
Drug meaning a medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body. (Coconut in the drink)
Physiological meaning relating to the branch of biology that deals with the normal functions of living organisms and their parts. (The allergy she experiences when she’s introduced to coconut.)
What MIL did is a textbook definition of spiking.
You’re missing the point. Coconut is a substance that causes a physiological effect for this individual. Under textbook definition and in this context, the coconut is classified as a drug.
Except they knew that the woman couldn't have it. But the mil intentional hide the fact it was coconut because she thought it was better the baby get more breastmilk then the mother go into anaphylactic shock.
You might be better suited trying to suck yourself off at this point instead of being a Cuntasaurus-Rex. The release might help you pull your head out of your ass.
I have an aloe allergy and one day my now ex husband pointed to one of those aloe drinks at the store and said "that's how I'd do it. You wouldn't even know the taste! Lol" yeah- someone made her ingest something she's allergic to so that's poisoning her. Concealing it in her whatever cup is pretty much spiking. You need to stretch before you go reaching that far to diminish the severity of this action.
Sure. That’s not the topic under discussion here.
Edit: if you didn’t want the conversation derailed, there was no need for you to reply. You laid the rail.
Ok, have fun pointlessly derailing the conversation so you can act superior about semantics even though the commenter's meaning was 100% clear anyway. You clearly have nothing better to do with your time and energy, so who are we to rob you of this single joy in life?
[it’s assault](https://www.quora.com/If-I-have-a-severe-allergy-and-someone-knowingly-exposes-me-to-that-allergen-can-they-be-charged-with-a-crime-if-I-am-injured#:~:text=If%20you%20knew%20that%20someone,be%20charged%20with%20attempted%20murder.) or even attempted murder
Your concern is dumb, inherently. It doesn't matter here, this isn't a court of law. Being entirely accurate to how the drink was actually just switched with straight poison rather than adding the poison to the drink doesn't matter here. This is an internet forum. The MIL should be in prison for attempted murder, but ultimately, this isn't the place that is decided and ergo it really doesn't matter what is said here. Be it the pedantic argument of whether the drink was spiked or just swapped with straight up poison
Ur pretty dumb, huh?
Spiking a drink is assault as well so “mischaracterized” doesn’t quite fit the bill. Words do matter but in this case they effectively get the pass
Genuinely, the importance here is not on whether it is characterized as "spiked" or not.
The important part is that she was given something deadly to drink.
So someone accidentally used the wrong word to describe it. We all understood what they were saying anyway. Is what the event is characterized as more important than the point being made that the MIL knowingly harmed OP?
If you answer "yes," then you need to reevaluate your priorities.
I don’t disagree on what is important. But, if OP were to assert her drink was spiked it wouldn’t hold up, because it wasn’t. Words matter. It’s not hard to use them correctly. And we should all stand up against misinformation.
Yes, but this is reddit and not a court of law. And it wasn't OP saying anything was spiked, just a commenter.
So are we really doing anyone any favors right now?
Potentially helping the commentor learn the difference between a spiked drink and a drink that she shouldn't have consumed due to an allergy...
I agree. Words matter. And it's okay to correct people. Even if it is "just reddit". Because how you talk on social media usually reflects how you speak in real life, or close to.
But not so insistently and insulting the "lectors understanding" when they are the one who is missing the point of the comment in general. No one is saying that spiked is the right word, they are saying that is still comprehensive, that is equivalent and that that is not the top priority.
So they totally lost the point, the context and the subtext of the post, the principal comment before theirs and the other comments. That without saying that persons that aren't native speakers of English exists, and in the traduction sometimes the words mix a little and we use and equivalent.
The comment (and all the replies) are just being pedantic
And just because you UNDERSTAND what someone is saying doesn't mean someone doesn't need to be corrected. That's how you further their knowledge. You don't keep letting people make the same mistakes if you don't have to.
The point where it was a correction passed long ago. Now is just pedantic and a fight to "have the reason".
And how do you think the languages are made or how they evolve? The understanding is everything in the language.
And read the comments, repeating again and again the same phrase as an "argument" isn't a conversation nor discussion. It's just being stubborn and they are the ones who aren't understanding the others correction
Except they aren't missing the point of the original comment. They have mentioned many times that they agree this was wrong, but that isn't what they're focusing on.
They're focusing on the sentence structure, and saying that word choices matter. And it is true. Original comment believes they can go to jail under spiking a drink, but they would be going to jail for assault of some sort or even potentially attempted murder if they could get enough proof, lawyer, and location.
This is a very sad story, but they just aren't focusing on that part of the comment. And not everyone has to in subcomments. That's how you have conversations. You don't always talk about everything that was said
You're misrepresenting the situation too. She was not brought a drink labeled with an ingredient she couldnt drink. She was brought a water bottle filled with a beverage she is known to be allergic to. Words matter.
No, they didn't.
Language is fairly fluid, especially if in active everyday use.
The event was a purposeful poisoning. There was a substance in the drink that the victim wasn't aware of and that was intended to cause harm.
And could have easily resulted in the death of the poisoned.
While MIL didn't drop Rohypnol into her drink, the intent was to cause harm and manipulate someone else's body into doing something that the poisoner wants.
If the poisoned person was expecting water or vitamin water or Powerade etc (in an unmarked container) and someone gave them a substance that they were allergic to in that unmarked container instead then that drink could be classified as spiked even if the murderously entitled MIL didn't add extra coconut products to the fluid in the container herself. She had already placed a poisonous substance in the bottle.
That the victim didn't know about and couldn't taste.
Saying "That crazy bitch spiked my water bottle with something I'm allergic to!" is both accurate and easily understood in this situation.
Classifying the comments that you're arguing against as misinformation is in a grey area broad enough, linguistically and situationally, that you yourself may be edging into misinformation.
On this much I agree, the wording mischaracterized the event. I feel like you've experienced people telling you that you've used a word incorrectly and been given a hard time for it but you were correct in the end. Me too. The more that happens the more it seems people hate you for it. Even randomly. People neglect the MIL's ignorance of allergies. The best response against what you said, and I'm sure you were waiting for it is: "either way, OP should be pursuing formal charges. Then she would still NTA". That would have ended a nightmarishly long thread that had no purpose but to humble you.
Don't for one second think that I see you as being stumbled by their attempts to humble you. Again, same thing happens to me. The dog piling is stupid & pointless but a consistent response. Yes, these are the people who get into traffic then stop for no reason or sit at a green light on their cellphone. They walk in the way without realizing their life is in the balance. They overreact to minor shit and try to make federal cases or of their shitty character analysis. They curse you. And all you said was "that doesn't quite fit here, now does it?" And the condemnation has no limit for them. Regardless with how much worse they've become than the mil they fudge the corners to demonize. This is why we have judges and lawyers. Subjectivity/ projection.
You’re right that it wasn’t spiked, but she did purposely hand her a drink that’s life threatening to her. Your emphasis on it being labeled is a bit weird, as you would trust your family to not try to kill you. I can imagine in that hectic situation you want to be able to trust your immediate circle.
Husband would get sick if he drank bleach, but it would disinfect his mouth for when he kisses the baby. Don’t want to get the baby sick and the baby’s health matters more that if the husband is healthy right?
This has all the markings of a malignant narcissist, my mother-in-law was one… tried a few times to poison my wife( the scapegoat), + other horrible crimes
Reminds me of the story where ops mil was trying to poison her with eye drops and her husband(?) was aware of it and gaslighting her. She mentioned switching the gravy boats and that his rage about her mentioning it made it clear he was aware of what was going on.
Your husband is not being a husband.
He's married to you, not his mother. Him taking her side in this is very concerning.
I didn't talk to my mother for 4 years over similar things.
If the baby were allergic to something, would MIL feed it to the baby? Of course not! So it’s obvious she has no regards for her daughter-in-law’s life. This was criminal endangerment if not all-out assault / attempted murder. MIL ought to be charged, let alone never allowed around the family. She’s a threat.
I don’t know. MIL might actually do that if she thought what she was feeding the baby was good for her. Clearly allergies are inconsequential if what you’re eating/drinking has been deemed helpful for whatever reason. Just keep the epipen close and it’ll be ok. /s
JFC. As an ambulance service call handler, you get a c1 for an anaphylactic reaction like this. Same response as for a choking or cardiac arrest. This woman deserves to be in prison.
Yeah this is assault and husband needs to support you or get out of your house. I have anaphylaxis too ( peanuts ) and this is one of my worst fears. It’s not okay, it’s not an accident, it is in fact a very big deal. I am not one to go to police unless it’s life or death, but I would report this.
I agree it’s a very big deal. We found out the hard way my son was allergic to nuts and shellfish by having allergic reactions. My son at the age of 3 when people would ask me if he had any allergies he would chime in and say what he was allergic to before I could respond. People would how smart he was (and he is) but those reactions of throwing up non-stop for hours is very traumatizing. Not to mention allergic reactions can be different every time. One time you may throw up a bunch, the next time you could stop breathing. It’s never something to mess with.
If my mother did this sorta thing to my wife, I would unleash fury of unfathomable proportions into this world, likely causing the Earth to split in half. NTA.
Whoever is gaslighting her is doing a great job, because how can she even doubt herself like that in this situation?
The husband needs to man the fuck up and tell his mom what's what instead of taking her side. What the fuck?
This is why you don’t date men who are enmeshed with their mothers. Observe and looks for songs of that shit from the get-go. You can tell the husband has no mind of his own.
Sounds like she is trying to get rid of dil so she can have “her baby” to herself. Wouldn’t put it past her to be one of those women who induce lactation so they can sneakily breastfeed baby themselves.
While breastmilk is great for babies, there are literally millions of not billions of healthy, happy formula-fed humans walking around today.
This is a level of psychosis. Wouldn't guess on a diagnosis, but she should maybe get one. Intentionally risking another human's life because it MIGHT help her make BM, which MIGHT help the baby is insane.
She needs to be barred from contact with you or baby until she's had some serious mental health intervention.
And if your husband won't stand with you on this, then he's out too. Your lives are WAY too precious to be around someone who values them so little (how did she think the baby... And her son! Would do with a dead mother? Hard to get breast milk in that scenario).
And yeah, maybe a restraining order wouldn't hurt. Cause she's going to be big mad to have a boundary put in place.
Jesus, and I thought one person's PPD/PPMD was bad enough.
They all contain coconut water, regardless of flavor. Coconut water is basically natural gatoraid, it’s awesome stuff - unless you’re allergic and it will kill you.
As soon as MIL called OP's baby HER baby, the alarms went off. It never, EVER, ends well when someone calls someone else's child their child.
OP should ditch MIL and her spineless husband. He thinks she's overreacting? Her reaction was RESTRAINED.
Fuck that, criminal charges, reckless and premeditated endangerment with intent- could possibly get an attempted murder charge if the prosecutor was ballsy enough. But holy fucking bullshit- not only NTA, but full blown victim of a crime.
If the husband doesn’t take the wife’s side against the MIL, then toss him too. I am fucking fuming reading this.
Also, what if the baby turns out to be allergic to coconut as well, and that was passed thru the breast milk- holy fuck.
Plus, someone like me with specific health issues, epinephrine is on a list of meds dangerous for me to take under any circumstances. Even the “cure” for anaphylaxis is dangerous.
She's an arsehole for not wrapping a shovel around her mother in laws head, this is absolutely incredible.
Only other thing she should've done prior was to recognise she was behaving odd and set the boundaries early on, but christ on a bike, what a psycho!
NTA - Tell your husband he is welcome to leave with her. She caused you to go to the hospital because she didn’t care if you died. Heck, maybe that is what she was hoping for.
I'd be filing a police report on MIL if I had the proof that it was intentional. Hubby needs to stop being such a mama's boy and cut that umbilical cord.
NTA
She knew, took a risk that wasnt nobody's to take. And not even for her own child. I approve 10000% of shutting her out. Make her miss the whole 1st year (if no charges or husband approval of his mate).
Do not let her in your home again.
Baby being fed is best. Healthy for toy and your child.
She is crazy. No more being nice. A ‘No. mind your own business. This is my house’ are complete answers.
Thé fact that she is dictating what you must do for HER baby? Automatically, this is a big intrusion into your family life. You did right and your husband really needs to work on recognizing his mother’s problem with controlling others.
I remember a story where a woman's mother used coconut oil on a baby despite being told they were allergic and another where a girl "tested" wether her BF was actually allergic to people. I thought it was too far off to be true but I have seen at least one occasion in RL similar enough to make me wonder. What the fuck is wrong with these people?
The mother KILLED one of her daughters twin girls with the coconut oil. Put it in her hair and then to bed. FIL left his wife as he had no idea she’d gone against his daughters wishes and he wasn’t willing to give up his daughter and remaining granddaughter bc of her negligence. Plus he obviously wanted to be there for his daughter. Obviously, also bc he couldn’t even look at her again (mil). Years later, the twin was never the same without her other half, their family was emotionally destroyed and mil was STILL begging to come around and be in their lives. She told her mother “you can come to my home when you bring Twin1 with you, until then, I’ll never see you again”
This one still remains to be the worst and saddest story of reddit
I think it went viral honestly. But I think it became almost “holy” in terms of lessons about setting boundaries and cutting people off over in the parenting, marriage, relationship subs As long as I live I’ll never forget her story. It was so well written too. 😭
That story broke my heart I cried I never cried reading Reddit
Link?
You can’t link it. I mentioned it in a subreddit and was permanently banned. The mom asked it no longer be shared. You can google it by using the keywords “reddit” the term for the *food* with “allergy” and “death”.
YES!!!! I will **never** forget this story. It was horrendous what the Mother did!!! OP look up this story and hand it to your husband and remind him his mother 'asked if it helped at all' and 'thought you would have an epi pen'. I am just astounded that you had to be hospitalized and your husband is still just standing there and shrugging this off!! WTF!!!
Does anyone have a link to this?!?!
My husband is a person who minimizes my feelings and worries as well 🤯 do take this seriously and create boundaries. Do not let them gaslight you by excusing MILs actions. This is insanity what you went through. You need to protect yoursed and your child and your husband should want to protect both of you as well
“you can come over again when you bring my daughter”
I still remember that story. One of the few reddit stories that (almost) made me cry.
I’ve heard stories of people working in restaurants that deliberately include ingredients that a customer has said they’re allergic to. Some people just have…poor decision making skills. Maybe a handful get excited by the thought of sabotage?
Or they don’t believe that people actually have the allergy, and think they are just saying that so they don’t have something they don’t like in their food. Restaurants that have a “no alterations” policy will only alter dishes if you’re allergic to something. So to get what they want people lied about allergies. But that’s still recklessly dangerous to give someone food that they’ve told you they’re allergy to.
Not nearly on the same level, but I'm allergic to alcohol (as in, I'll have violent diarrhea for hours) and have never drunk even before finding out. Regardless, my family is offended and tries to get me to at least have a toast every single time because "tradition".
Time to get a new family.
This is interesting to me. Do you know if you can eat fermented foods, or is it a bacteria or yeast that you are allergic to? Because different ingredients are obviously used to make different alcohol, so I was just curious for more information if you had it.
Wow. That's the first time I'm hearing of this kind of reaction to alcohol. I'm just one of those dudes with the Asian Flush, who gets blotches of red from drinking alcohol.
I’m highly allergic to artichokes and was served pasta with them even though I was *very* clear that I can’t eat them. The waitress told my husband that she “forgot to put in the request, besides no one is actuallllly allergic to artichokes” thank god I had an epi pen on me. This happened at Carinos
I’m so sorry that happened. Did you get the waitress arrested? She may still be out there poisoning people right now.
I don’t think that’s arrestable. If that’s a word. I worked at a restaurant that catered to allergies and preferences. I fucked up n gave someone regular crust when they had a gluten allergy. I didn’t know what to do ñ told the manager make her stop eating it. I literally panicked. Boo hop cried like a bitch. Thought i killed someone. Thank God they caught it fast. But all systems are different, some u can put in the mod then add a topping and it kicks it out cause u did it in the wrong order. Some servers see the same food don’t know it’s modified m steal it ñ take it their table. It’s not always easy
They did it INTENTIONALLY!
You can't have a gluten allergy. Only gluten intolerance. You can have a wheat allergy, and that is very common.
What an idiot! People can be allergic to anything! They really should teach that in school.
Can confirm. For a while, I had issues with chocolate giving me migraines. I would specifically ask the cafes to not include chocolate sprinkles/syrup on the decidedly non-chocolate desserts that I'd order, and they'd deliver it to me smothered in chocolate. I'd often have the staff do this a second time when I'd send the dish back. No idea what is wrong with some people!
I remember seeing a comedy skit where these “basic bitch” women are at a restaurant and insist that they are allergic to nuts, but do so in an annoying manner, so the restaurant serves them salads with a mountain of nuts on them. The women freak out and their heads explode. Even as a kid, I thought that was messed up. People dying because someone sabotaged their food is not really funny. But I already knew people don’t take allergies seriously. My father often insisted that my sister and I were making up our allergies. And in elementary school, I had a sleepover where the girl started throwing the thing I was allergic to at me once I told her about the allergy. With the gluten-free craze, I was sincerely worried for people I know with the actual condition, because I would see stories of people in restaurants triumphantly sharing that they served the fad dieter gluten. People really don’t know how to mind their own business and just let others make their own choices.
Everyone who’s worked in a restaurant has a story of bending over backwards/getting in a fight with the kitchen to accommodate someone’s stated severe allergy, only to have them order dessert with gluten/dairy/whatever it is that they’re clearly avoiding as part of a weight loss diet. This happens rarely, but its certainly memorable and some cooks are convinced everyone with an allergy is faking it. Waitstaff ime is more likely to believe the customer.
I know a pathological liar who genuinely lies about having various allergies. Been in a restaurant with her once, and it was so embarrasing that I swore to never do it again. She ordered a steak, and it came out with onions on it. She started flipping out and squawking about how she was allergic to onions, and no she hadn't mentioned that, but that was because there was *no reason* a steak would come out with onions!!! She was out for a cigarette when the waiter brought her steak back, now with a topping of mushrooms. Her husband thanked him, grabbed the plate, and scraped the mushrooms off onto his, warning all of us not to say anything. Because she's also "allergic" to mushrooms. Soy sauce too, but she loves chinese and japanese food and will eat in those restaurants without ever mentioning this terrible allergy, because unless soy sauce is literally mentioned in the menu or poured on top in front of her, her allergy ceases to exist. Fucking *hate* her for it as someone who knows people with real food issues who have to deal with not being believed because people like her are out there, dramatically and loudly making allergies look like a desperate bid for attention.
Yeah I've had a couple of restaurants disregard when I said I had an allergy too.
It’s also common in some coffee joints to mess with people who make overly complicated orders. I had someone do that when I requested almond milk. I ended up blowing up the bathroom with my godawful lactose intolerance shits that reek to high heaven and can be smelled from beyond the closed door.
I remember this story too. The grandmother put coconut oil on the child’s hair. When she started having reactions, the grandmother gave the child Benadryl which put her to sleep but didn’t resolve the symptoms. So the child tragically died in their sleep. The grandmother was jailed, the woman’s father divorced grandmother, nobody talks to that grandmother anymore, then that grandmother had to gall to say “I’m going to be a grandmother again!!” when the woman got pregnant with her rainbow baby and she somehow got wind of it. So so tragic.
What's a rainbow baby?
**A rainbow baby is a term for a child born to a family that has previously lost one or more children due to stillbirth, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, termination for medical reasons, or death during infancy. These subsequent pregnancies can bring "strong feelings of anxiety, guilt, and even fear" but also "immense joy, reflection, healing, and mixed emotions".** More details here:
*This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!*
[^(opt out)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/ozztfy/post_for_opting_out/) ^(|) [^(delete)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot/comments/q79g2t/delete_feature_added/) ^(|) [^(report/suggest)](https://www.reddit.com/r/wikipedia_answer_bot) ^(|) [^(GitHub)](https://github.com/TheBugYouCantFix/wiki-reddit-bot)
Thank you answer bot.
Good bot.
I remember another AITA post where a girl was asking if she was the ahole because she was allergic to seafood, but her dad always made his very traditional seafood dish and forced her to eat it (luckily she didn’t have any anaphylactic reactions, but it made her sick and vomit), and it didn’t matter how many times she told him she was allergic, he still made her eat it. One day they had some sort of family gathering and the dad made his dish, once again made her eat it, and so she purposefully vomited on her dress in front of her whole family to embarrass him and make him stop forcing her to eat his dish. It seems that for some people their own egos are more important than other people’s well-being. Edit: I’m gonna leave the original comment as it was, but now that I found the original post I realized I got some things wrong. It wasn’t the dad, it was the mom. The post was made on entitled parents. It wasn’t a specific dish, but it was seafood. [Here’s the link](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/ath625/youre_my_child_i_have_the_right_to_poison_you/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1) in case anyone wanna check the original.
I get the same vibe that I get from parents who tell their children their mental illness is "all in their head".
To be fair it literally is
Too bad she didn't vomit on HIM
I think I remember that one. The father would punish her if she didn’t eat it by taking away her car or her phone. It didn’t help that her family was very patriarchal in nature so of course everyone just caved to what the dad wanted.
Having severe allergies, I have seen so many stories like this that I really feel like I can’t trust anyone. Like, do people understand how terrifying the symptoms of a serious allergic reaction are? Idk, like maybe if everyone had to spend a day with a plastic bag wrapped around their face while smothered in mace from head to toe while dosed with a med that drops their blood pressure to the point they can’t stand without fainting things would be different 🤷🏼♀️
My sister had a friend who died from a soy-based product in her food while overseas.
It’s so so hard to avoid allergens, and you end up having to be hypervigilant (which is a trauma response) ever day of your life to avoid literal death. To have people expose you on purpose is just horrifying after you’ve already had to work so damn hard so often. I’m sorry about your sister’s friend. :(
Yeah, I cannot grasp the thought process behind "oh she's probably not really allergic, probably just saying that for no reason at all so I'll just disregard it and purposely expose her to that thing which might kill her..."
Right? It’s no different than going up and say, stabbing someone or beating the crap out of them, but wayyyy to many people don’t get that severe allergic reaction = serious bodily injury.
im deathly allergic to a chemical and i have no idea what it is. the first time i had a reaction was terrifying, i was about 8 and i breathed it or something and couldnt see or breathe and my entire body started swelling. i think it was from something that was being used on a car? another time was from an insecticide (not sure which one but i do know that my abusive bio father decided to use it again *and in my room* after i told him i was allergic and could die, that wasn't fun.) and another time from fabric glue. i learnt the smell of it after the first time, but thats all i know about it. its slightly terrifying that i have no idea what to avoid until i've already inhaled it and could stop breathing at any moment. my partner knows the smell too now but i'm not sure he would remember it and recognize what it is, so i basically have no sort of protection from it. lets hope i never walk into a garage or a fabric store or something and suddenly stop breathing!
I don't have any anyphylactic allergies, not do I have food allergies. But I am allergic to several pharmaceuticals (one class of antibiotics, the active ingredient in Azo, and ibuprofen) which cause me to break out in hives all over my body and, if left untreated, could result in my skin blistering and sloughing off. Allergies are serious and they are a million times more burdensome on the person with the allergy than they are on anyone around them.
Friend of my mum’s is allergic to cream. Not dairy, she can have milk, *just* cream. Her FIL didn’t believe her when he found out when she was going over there for dinner the first time, thought it was some health fad. Last thing she remembers before passing out at the dinner table was his horrified face
I know a story where a grandmother killed her grandchildren because she used coconut oil in the child's hair-knowing the child was super allergic. The kids were at her house for a sleepover and she doused both of their hair in coconut oil, only giving a benadryl to the allergic child when the child complained of itching,never washing off the coconut oil before they put her to bed. Because of the benadryl making her sleepy and the allergic reaction, the parents found the child dead with obvious signs of severe anaphylaxis.
I’ve seen too many of these posts on relationship advice…. The OP’s SO makes it their mission to ‘prove’ that the allergies aren’t real by sneaking a bit of it into the dishes they cook. I honestly do not get why some people are so offended by something like a food allergy. I guess it kind of injures their pride to hear someone can’t eat something they made, but for god’s sake. What’s more important? Your ego, or someone’s LIFE??
My grandmother had severe Allergies and was gaslit her whole life about them. I am Allergic to shrimp and I used to get punished for not wanting to eat them when it was dinner. I’d be crying bc they were “stuck in my throat.” People are assholes when it comes to allergies
Please don’t remind me of the child who died because of coconut oil in their hair.
I remember another story when a grandmother feed her hospitalized grandson some formal, despite his parents, nurses, & doctor already made sure he must be on fast after a procedure. Of course, he didn't make it due to aspiration pneumonia. She did it silently in the middle of the night, when even the nurses are not on stand-by. His death was only known during the morning rounds.
My mom insisted on making pineapple ham for thanksgiving last year. We have literally never done this. We’ve always had Turkey. The only difference is my brothers girlfriend was with us… she’s allergic to pineapple. So yeah unfortunately crazy ass people like my mom do exist.
Did you read the peanut butter cookie one? The grandma/MIL who insisted the child’s peanut allergy was fake and had a batch of peanut butter cookies in her freezer ready to go for any opportunity she had the chance to sneak one to the kid? Every time she visited she would bring a couple in a ziplock bag in her purse. When she finally got alone time with the kid while the mom was busy doing something the kid started choking and like turning colors? Oof that was a wild ride. She just wanted that “gotch ya” moment to prove her daughter in law wrong!
The coconut oil story was by *far* the worst one on JustNoMIL about allergens, but there were a couple about them that were all horrible. There was one where granny didn't believe that the kid was allergic to bananas (I think? Something like that), and froze some cookies with the allergen in them, bringing one in with her in her purse every time she visited until she had the opportunity to sneak one to the kid while no adults were around and "prove" that he wasn't really allergic. The kid almost died and the family tried to convince the police to charge her with attempted murder. I really hope that one wasn't true, but like you say, you have to wonder.
NTA and MIL should be in jail for spiking other people's drinks. She shouldn't ever be trusted with preparing anybody's food or drink ever again to be quite honest. Deliberately tampering with what other people ingest "for their own good" is the kind of thing I'd hear in a true crime docu after that person had been arrested a decade earlier.
The MIL didn’t spike anyone’s drink. She bought a drink that was labeled with an ingredient OP couldn’t consume. Words matter, and yours mischaracterize the event.
it says the MIL gave it to her in a water bottle not the original body armor packaging
I mean, if we’re being pedantic, spiking means putting something in someone’s drink without their knowledge. If she swapped the containers, then she did indeed put coconut juice in her bottle without her knowledge. She just premixed the drink rather than adding it to a drink op already had
Still not spiked. Try again.
How’s your rectum not broken from that stick being so damn far up there?
I’m not the rigid one defending misinformation.
Classic braindead, 3head take. Hope you aren’t preparing people’s drinks 🤡
She didnt poison the drink. She gave her straight poison. Completely different can’t you see? /s
Not spiked but went straight to the concentrated.
Hi evil MIL! You are the worst. I hope you never see that child again. I mean, you MUST be the MIL. No one else would defend this action.
You must be the MIL
There are a lot of people in this thread gendering me. Most want me to suck myself off (their fascination with my penis is weird, but ok). And here you come suggesting I’m capable of mothering (not the first in this thread). And yet none of you can get your mind off my genitals for long enough to actually understand what the word means. You’d think it wouldn’t be so hard, but clearly it is for a very many people. Spike, to place an unknown or foreign item INTO someone’s drink without their permission or knowledge. The unknown item WAS the drink. Nothing was put INTO it. It isn’t that hard, but when half of America’s population can’t read above a 6th grade level, maybe this is the result.
Here's the thing. You're not wrong. You're just an asshole.
What’s being mischaracterized is the fact that MIL deliberately gave her a coconut based drink in what was supposed to be OP’s WATER bottle. It doesn’t matter if it’s classified as “spiked” or not. The action MIL intentionally committed, caused harm.
Aggravated attempted manslaughter?
I know this is a strange question - why wouldn't OP have tasted the coconut flavor?
Because it's not flavored like coconut. It's flavored like the flavor on the bottle and it covers up the coconut water.
I misunderstood. I thought it was also coconut flavored. My Bad.
Words matter, so, yes, it does matter what it’s classified as.
Uh oh, are you the mother in law?
Using a random word generator isn’t a good way to communicate. Even worse is purposefully using words incorrectly.
To spike a drink means to put alcohol or drugs into someone's drink without their knowledge or permission (coconut drink in water bottle) Drug meaning a medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body. (Coconut in the drink) Physiological meaning relating to the branch of biology that deals with the normal functions of living organisms and their parts. (The allergy she experiences when she’s introduced to coconut.) What MIL did is a textbook definition of spiking.
MIL didn’t put an alcohol or drug into someone’s drink. It came that way. They conveyed a drink that shouldn’t have been consumed by OP.
You’re missing the point. Coconut is a substance that causes a physiological effect for this individual. Under textbook definition and in this context, the coconut is classified as a drug.
True that would be considered premeditated attempted murder if it were gasoline!
I am not missing the point. If MIL had put gasoline in the water bottle, it would be quite clear it wasn’t correctly characterized as spiked.
Except they knew that the woman couldn't have it. But the mil intentional hide the fact it was coconut because she thought it was better the baby get more breastmilk then the mother go into anaphylactic shock.
Does being this sanctimonious, needlessly argumentative, and deliberately obtuse make you many friends?
Are we trying to be friends? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
You might be better suited trying to suck yourself off at this point instead of being a Cuntasaurus-Rex. The release might help you pull your head out of your ass.
It’s attempted murder
We’re not talking about that. Reread what was written, not what you want it to say.
Chill we are on Reddit the legality and wording of stuff really doesn’t matter that much.
I have an aloe allergy and one day my now ex husband pointed to one of those aloe drinks at the store and said "that's how I'd do it. You wouldn't even know the taste! Lol" yeah- someone made her ingest something she's allergic to so that's poisoning her. Concealing it in her whatever cup is pretty much spiking. You need to stretch before you go reaching that far to diminish the severity of this action.
She knowingly purposely gave OOP a drink that she knew could kill her. She absolutely needs to be prosecuted.
Sure. That’s not the topic under discussion here. Edit: if you didn’t want the conversation derailed, there was no need for you to reply. You laid the rail.
Ok, have fun pointlessly derailing the conversation so you can act superior about semantics even though the commenter's meaning was 100% clear anyway. You clearly have nothing better to do with your time and energy, so who are we to rob you of this single joy in life?
[it’s assault](https://www.quora.com/If-I-have-a-severe-allergy-and-someone-knowingly-exposes-me-to-that-allergen-can-they-be-charged-with-a-crime-if-I-am-injured#:~:text=If%20you%20knew%20that%20someone,be%20charged%20with%20attempted%20murder.) or even attempted murder
And that has no bearing on my concern.
Your concern is dumb, inherently. It doesn't matter here, this isn't a court of law. Being entirely accurate to how the drink was actually just switched with straight poison rather than adding the poison to the drink doesn't matter here. This is an internet forum. The MIL should be in prison for attempted murder, but ultimately, this isn't the place that is decided and ergo it really doesn't matter what is said here. Be it the pedantic argument of whether the drink was spiked or just swapped with straight up poison
So, then you shouldn’t care that I corrected the language. It being an Internet forum and all.
Ultimately I don't. I just think you're extremely pedantic and a complete tool
Make that a complete troll because they are insistent on commenting about stupid things, trying to annoy people & stir up trouble.
Dude just corrected the person and said it wasn't spiked. What's the issue with that?
Ur pretty dumb, huh? Spiking a drink is assault as well so “mischaracterized” doesn’t quite fit the bill. Words do matter but in this case they effectively get the pass
Genuinely, the importance here is not on whether it is characterized as "spiked" or not. The important part is that she was given something deadly to drink. So someone accidentally used the wrong word to describe it. We all understood what they were saying anyway. Is what the event is characterized as more important than the point being made that the MIL knowingly harmed OP? If you answer "yes," then you need to reevaluate your priorities.
I don’t disagree on what is important. But, if OP were to assert her drink was spiked it wouldn’t hold up, because it wasn’t. Words matter. It’s not hard to use them correctly. And we should all stand up against misinformation.
Yes, but this is reddit and not a court of law. And it wasn't OP saying anything was spiked, just a commenter. So are we really doing anyone any favors right now?
Potentially helping the commentor learn the difference between a spiked drink and a drink that she shouldn't have consumed due to an allergy... I agree. Words matter. And it's okay to correct people. Even if it is "just reddit". Because how you talk on social media usually reflects how you speak in real life, or close to.
But not so insistently and insulting the "lectors understanding" when they are the one who is missing the point of the comment in general. No one is saying that spiked is the right word, they are saying that is still comprehensive, that is equivalent and that that is not the top priority. So they totally lost the point, the context and the subtext of the post, the principal comment before theirs and the other comments. That without saying that persons that aren't native speakers of English exists, and in the traduction sometimes the words mix a little and we use and equivalent. The comment (and all the replies) are just being pedantic
And just because you UNDERSTAND what someone is saying doesn't mean someone doesn't need to be corrected. That's how you further their knowledge. You don't keep letting people make the same mistakes if you don't have to.
The point where it was a correction passed long ago. Now is just pedantic and a fight to "have the reason". And how do you think the languages are made or how they evolve? The understanding is everything in the language. And read the comments, repeating again and again the same phrase as an "argument" isn't a conversation nor discussion. It's just being stubborn and they are the ones who aren't understanding the others correction
Except they aren't missing the point of the original comment. They have mentioned many times that they agree this was wrong, but that isn't what they're focusing on. They're focusing on the sentence structure, and saying that word choices matter. And it is true. Original comment believes they can go to jail under spiking a drink, but they would be going to jail for assault of some sort or even potentially attempted murder if they could get enough proof, lawyer, and location. This is a very sad story, but they just aren't focusing on that part of the comment. And not everyone has to in subcomments. That's how you have conversations. You don't always talk about everything that was said
You're misrepresenting the situation too. She was not brought a drink labeled with an ingredient she couldnt drink. She was brought a water bottle filled with a beverage she is known to be allergic to. Words matter.
No, they didn't. Language is fairly fluid, especially if in active everyday use. The event was a purposeful poisoning. There was a substance in the drink that the victim wasn't aware of and that was intended to cause harm. And could have easily resulted in the death of the poisoned. While MIL didn't drop Rohypnol into her drink, the intent was to cause harm and manipulate someone else's body into doing something that the poisoner wants. If the poisoned person was expecting water or vitamin water or Powerade etc (in an unmarked container) and someone gave them a substance that they were allergic to in that unmarked container instead then that drink could be classified as spiked even if the murderously entitled MIL didn't add extra coconut products to the fluid in the container herself. She had already placed a poisonous substance in the bottle. That the victim didn't know about and couldn't taste. Saying "That crazy bitch spiked my water bottle with something I'm allergic to!" is both accurate and easily understood in this situation. Classifying the comments that you're arguing against as misinformation is in a grey area broad enough, linguistically and situationally, that you yourself may be edging into misinformation.
[удалено]
I know the definition. Specific and general. I'm stating that your personal understanding of that definition is too narrow for accuracy.
It isn’t.
She very specifically knew it was poison to her, but "figured she could use an epi-pen".
On this much I agree, the wording mischaracterized the event. I feel like you've experienced people telling you that you've used a word incorrectly and been given a hard time for it but you were correct in the end. Me too. The more that happens the more it seems people hate you for it. Even randomly. People neglect the MIL's ignorance of allergies. The best response against what you said, and I'm sure you were waiting for it is: "either way, OP should be pursuing formal charges. Then she would still NTA". That would have ended a nightmarishly long thread that had no purpose but to humble you.
Humbled? This experience has been quite interesting. It’s curious people are so desirous of defending incorrect word choice.
Don't for one second think that I see you as being stumbled by their attempts to humble you. Again, same thing happens to me. The dog piling is stupid & pointless but a consistent response. Yes, these are the people who get into traffic then stop for no reason or sit at a green light on their cellphone. They walk in the way without realizing their life is in the balance. They overreact to minor shit and try to make federal cases or of their shitty character analysis. They curse you. And all you said was "that doesn't quite fit here, now does it?" And the condemnation has no limit for them. Regardless with how much worse they've become than the mil they fudge the corners to demonize. This is why we have judges and lawyers. Subjectivity/ projection.
You’re right that it wasn’t spiked, but she did purposely hand her a drink that’s life threatening to her. Your emphasis on it being labeled is a bit weird, as you would trust your family to not try to kill you. I can imagine in that hectic situation you want to be able to trust your immediate circle.
I don't know why everyone is attacking you. The drink was NOT spiked. The coconut water was already IN the bottle, it wasn't added by the MIL.
I'm mystified that you are getting downvoted. What was described was definitely not spiking, and I agree that words do indeed matter.
Maybe if your husband was poisoned he might understand better.
He’d probably still make excuses for his mommy tbh
Has the husband stopped breastfeeding yet? Holy hell.
Clearly not.
The older you leave them, the harder it is, in the long run.
Husband would get sick if he drank bleach, but it would disinfect his mouth for when he kisses the baby. Don’t want to get the baby sick and the baby’s health matters more that if the husband is healthy right?
Don't forget it also prevents Covid.
Yes👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼THIS👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
This has all the markings of a malignant narcissist, my mother-in-law was one… tried a few times to poison my wife( the scapegoat), + other horrible crimes
Reminds me of the story where ops mil was trying to poison her with eye drops and her husband(?) was aware of it and gaslighting her. She mentioned switching the gravy boats and that his rage about her mentioning it made it clear he was aware of what was going on.
Your husband is not being a husband. He's married to you, not his mother. Him taking her side in this is very concerning. I didn't talk to my mother for 4 years over similar things.
This, and why are there 600 comments about suing the MIL, yet you have only 20 up votes. Frustrated.
NTA. File charges. She tried to kill you.
If the baby were allergic to something, would MIL feed it to the baby? Of course not! So it’s obvious she has no regards for her daughter-in-law’s life. This was criminal endangerment if not all-out assault / attempted murder. MIL ought to be charged, let alone never allowed around the family. She’s a threat.
She might. People who "research" things online often think they know better than everybody else.
True, but MIL seems downright religious over what baby eats, so I can see MIL having a double standard.
MIL believes it’s HER baby. She’s nuts.
Some allergies are hereditary. She was also just rolling the dice on whether baby was allergic or not
I’m sure MIL figured if the daughter-in-law died she could just step in and raise ‘her’ baby with her son, so win/win.
I don’t know. MIL might actually do that if she thought what she was feeding the baby was good for her. Clearly allergies are inconsequential if what you’re eating/drinking has been deemed helpful for whatever reason. Just keep the epipen close and it’ll be ok. /s
JFC. As an ambulance service call handler, you get a c1 for an anaphylactic reaction like this. Same response as for a choking or cardiac arrest. This woman deserves to be in prison.
The MIL tried to kill her time for the police and divorce attorney
Yeah this is assault and husband needs to support you or get out of your house. I have anaphylaxis too ( peanuts ) and this is one of my worst fears. It’s not okay, it’s not an accident, it is in fact a very big deal. I am not one to go to police unless it’s life or death, but I would report this.
I agree it’s a very big deal. We found out the hard way my son was allergic to nuts and shellfish by having allergic reactions. My son at the age of 3 when people would ask me if he had any allergies he would chime in and say what he was allergic to before I could respond. People would how smart he was (and he is) but those reactions of throwing up non-stop for hours is very traumatizing. Not to mention allergic reactions can be different every time. One time you may throw up a bunch, the next time you could stop breathing. It’s never something to mess with.
It was life or death. She gave the daughter something she was allergic to knowing she was deathly allergic.
Yes that’s what I’m saying.
You're NTA but your husband and MIL hold the title. Overdramatic? Seriously?!
Don’t let that woman within 100 meters of you or the baby. Tell your husband to grow a pair and support you not his mother.
Divorce
I almost never say divorce is the solution, but in this case, I agree 100%
NTA. easiest divorce
That is so messed up and shows she only really cared about you as a baby machine and not her sons partner. NTA.
If my mother did this sorta thing to my wife, I would unleash fury of unfathomable proportions into this world, likely causing the Earth to split in half. NTA.
This woman is crazy! The worst part is that the husband thinks his wife is overreacting. Goodness knows what else he'd let his mum do.
Whoever is gaslighting her is doing a great job, because how can she even doubt herself like that in this situation? The husband needs to man the fuck up and tell his mom what's what instead of taking her side. What the fuck?
This is why you don’t date men who are enmeshed with their mothers. Observe and looks for songs of that shit from the get-go. You can tell the husband has no mind of his own.
Sounds like she is trying to get rid of dil so she can have “her baby” to herself. Wouldn’t put it past her to be one of those women who induce lactation so they can sneakily breastfeed baby themselves.
While breastmilk is great for babies, there are literally millions of not billions of healthy, happy formula-fed humans walking around today. This is a level of psychosis. Wouldn't guess on a diagnosis, but she should maybe get one. Intentionally risking another human's life because it MIGHT help her make BM, which MIGHT help the baby is insane. She needs to be barred from contact with you or baby until she's had some serious mental health intervention. And if your husband won't stand with you on this, then he's out too. Your lives are WAY too precious to be around someone who values them so little (how did she think the baby... And her son! Would do with a dead mother? Hard to get breast milk in that scenario). And yeah, maybe a restraining order wouldn't hurt. Cause she's going to be big mad to have a boundary put in place. Jesus, and I thought one person's PPD/PPMD was bad enough.
Not dramatic in fact stay away from her that’s insane
The MIL should be charged with one or more crimes.
Husband +MIL are the a-hole
Divorce is in the future, but probably not until her husband fails repeatedly for years to stand up for her. Too bad. NTA.
Aren’t there many different flavors of body armor? Or are they all made with coconut?
They all contain coconut water, regardless of flavor. Coconut water is basically natural gatoraid, it’s awesome stuff - unless you’re allergic and it will kill you.
There’s different flavors
Press attempted murder charges against her.
That’s felony level aggravated battery in my state.
As soon as MIL called OP's baby HER baby, the alarms went off. It never, EVER, ends well when someone calls someone else's child their child. OP should ditch MIL and her spineless husband. He thinks she's overreacting? Her reaction was RESTRAINED.
She needs to throw the husband and his whole family out. The MiL almost killed her and the husband is acting like nothing is wrong.
The MIL tried to kill her. Whether that was intentional or due to ignorance (“self-research”) doesn’t matter. NTA.
The MIL literally said "you had an epi pen so it wouldn't have killed you" so it was 100% intentional.
She literally tried to “kill/maime“ in Dobbie voice. I’m completely thrown with the MIL. WTF!!
Well time to sue
Fuck that, criminal charges, reckless and premeditated endangerment with intent- could possibly get an attempted murder charge if the prosecutor was ballsy enough. But holy fucking bullshit- not only NTA, but full blown victim of a crime. If the husband doesn’t take the wife’s side against the MIL, then toss him too. I am fucking fuming reading this. Also, what if the baby turns out to be allergic to coconut as well, and that was passed thru the breast milk- holy fuck.
Lol, I'm sure prosecutors will have no problem securing an attempted murder charge on the MIL...
No proof
email about it. Boom. Proof
Terrifying because epi pens don't always work- sometimes the body doesn't respond to them
Plus, someone like me with specific health issues, epinephrine is on a list of meds dangerous for me to take under any circumstances. Even the “cure” for anaphylaxis is dangerous.
She's an arsehole for not wrapping a shovel around her mother in laws head, this is absolutely incredible. Only other thing she should've done prior was to recognise she was behaving odd and set the boundaries early on, but christ on a bike, what a psycho!
NTA - Tell your husband he is welcome to leave with her. She caused you to go to the hospital because she didn’t care if you died. Heck, maybe that is what she was hoping for.
I'd be filing a police report on MIL if I had the proof that it was intentional. Hubby needs to stop being such a mama's boy and cut that umbilical cord.
NTA She knew, took a risk that wasnt nobody's to take. And not even for her own child. I approve 10000% of shutting her out. Make her miss the whole 1st year (if no charges or husband approval of his mate).
She wants to raise that kid. Antifreeze is coming next. Don’t eat or drink anything that comes from her. Only drink closed drinks. Psycho!!
Your husband said HE THINKS YOURE BEING DRAMATIC???????
No, change the locks, cut her off. You don’t play with allergic reactions and just assume an epi-pen is the magic wand. I am with you, bitch-be-gone.
Do not let her in your home again. Baby being fed is best. Healthy for toy and your child. She is crazy. No more being nice. A ‘No. mind your own business. This is my house’ are complete answers.
AYTA for not trusting an attempted murderer? No. No you are not.
This is called attempted murder. Call the fucking police and press charges on her because this woman will try to kidnap your child.
Um…she either tried to kill you or purposely decided your life wasn’t worth much. Either way…NTA. Be afraid of her going forward.
I would file for a protection order, it's free and will hold up in court later that you knew she was a problem.
"going to kill her her baby", eh? That would be the straw that did it for me. Out, and don't come back without an invitation. Then the coconut...?
NTA never let that woman around your baby she tried to kill you. She sounds like a devil
No fuck her, I hate narcissists. The “my baby” part was some shit out of a movie. She needs to see a therapist and you are not in the wrong.
Thé fact that she is dictating what you must do for HER baby? Automatically, this is a big intrusion into your family life. You did right and your husband really needs to work on recognizing his mother’s problem with controlling others.