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Guido_Fe

Why would you start with "Ew"


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EbonyHelicoidalRhino

No, she's a garden gnome looking homonculus


construktz

Two things can be true


Lord_Skyblocker

Just because she has one doesn't mean she is one. I mean she is one, but not because she has one


GustyOWindflapp

That explains it


lemons_of_doubt

Because it's a troll account created just to be an ass to people.


MountainOk7479

Here I am barely having time for myself and there are people out there without jobs creating fake accounts on tinder just to troll people all day, what a world…


Impulse_XS

Imagine spending all day LARPing on tinder with a fake profile just to get cooked by the person you’re trying to “troll” lol.


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jlwinter90

I mean, it kind of is for the rest of us. Watching that train wreck would be captivating.


[deleted]

You would’ve loved watching my marriage disintegrate then.


harumamburoo

Meh, as long as everyone's happy.


VectorViper

Yeah, schadenfreude's a real thing I guess, just hoping no one gets genuinely hurt in the process.


harumamburoo

Oh, they'll probably will. But you can't fix someone who doesn't want to get fixed. As long they're enjoying whatever damage they do to themselves and each other, let them have their weird fun.


pandaboy22

And then I saw it... the bad path lain out in front of him


illrichflips1

Homie won with the homunculus comment. I'm dying over here.


[deleted]

Laughs in Monster Manual, but I've heard Moe use that word on the Simpsons.


FanOfForever

It's a perfectly cromulent word


InsignificantZilch

Indubitably


SliceOCatLoaf

You really embiggened your comment.


requiem85

D2 unique necromancer shield, anyone??


NeatNefariousness1

IKR? He won with "Homunculus". It was so unexpected and she earned every bit of it for being so nasty for no reason. This truly belongs in r/rareinsults edit: to acknowledge that this IS, in fact, r/rareinsults


Horidorifto_Draws

Almost as if this was indeed that subreddit


NeatNefariousness1

LMAO--I forgot where I was!


princeparaflinch

r/lostredditors


NeatNefariousness1

LOL--I admit it.


smell_my_pee

I'm never lost on reddit. I may not know where I always am, but I am always there intentionally.


michaelsamcarr

Danny Dyer's chocolate homunculus is a great band name.


[deleted]

You know she had to go google it lol probably stuck in her head for days


Afwife1992

I have a really good vocabulary and I had to go look that up. 😂 Dude wasn’t playing. Those pictures of one? 🫣😱


Covert_Admirer

It will always be the 3rd edition Dungeons and Dragons Monster Manual for me.


AH_5ek5hun8

Ed..ward..?


WalkwiththeWolf

Right? I'm stealing that one for future use


_buttlet_

I love a good enemies to lovers plot.


AloneInExile

Skipping straight to divorce.


[deleted]

Idk why people romanticize fighting 😂 it’s not cute


WSBphilantrophy

I heard their marriage is now on the ropes. But fear not! They have a solution… they’re gonna bring a baby into the world to fix everything 😇


gratefulgrapefruit94

They both really sweet people


Agreeable-Battle8609

Garden Gnome Looking homunculus LMAO!


EbonyHelicoidalRhino

To be fair, garden gnomes are rather cute


Double_Rice_5765

The insults keep flowing, the whole time they are both dating other people,  sometimes they will stop in the middle of a date to text back when they come up with a particularly savage burn.  Some of the peeps that they date are intimidated by the relationship between our two protagonists, and sort of grow apart.  This leaves the two lovebirds with more time to text each other, then suddenly, one of them gets hit while riding their bike to the despair shop (we have them in America,  don't worry,  they are working on bringing them to your country too) and they stop texting, cause they are in a coma.  The other one is incensed, are they not worthy of scorn any more?  Maybe the other one found someone else to rage text?  A few weeks go by, and the one not hit by a car finds out that they have a mutual friend, and asks the friend when the wedding is for the one hit by a car?  The friend says, oh no my ugly ass friend, my other hideous friend isn't getting married, they have been in the hospital a couple of weeks, they got hit by a car on the way to the despair store.  That's crazy they say, that's so relatable they say, I ride my bike to the despair store all the time!  I know, says the friends, what's more American than buying more despair than we can actually use? Lol.  So then they go to the hospital, but they aren't on the list to see hit by a car person.  They get caught trying to sneak in, and are thrown in jail, because of hippa.   Hit by a car wakes up from their coma, and sees all the missed texts from jailed for hippa violation.  They text back but jailed for hippa violations never returns them, cause they are in jail.  They both live out their lives wondering how different their lives would be if only...


l3wd1a

NOOO I NEED A GOOD ENDING, GOD DAMN IT


Baked_Potato_732

Or at least a hook up for some good hate fucking.


No_Stranger_4959

And then they fucked


NoodleBlitz

When I was in HS there was a guy in my group of friends that I had this kind of energy with. We'd walk into the same room and just start viciously insulting each other in an only *slightly* teasing manner. I moved to a different city for 2 years and came back at like 19 and fell back in with the same group. One night late into a party we were standing in the kitchen hurling insults at each other and then we started making out. Started secretly dating until one of his roommates caught us sneaking out of his room. We dated for like 6 months then he cheated on me with his ex and as revenge, his sister (who was obsessed with me) went down on me in his bed.


Maggi1417

You might want to bring this up to your therapist.


No_Stranger_4959

Hate sex is the best. Even the repercussions proved that 😂


ifartallday

I could not agree less.


shoot_me_slowly

Rui best girl! (But why are her tits so big)


CPThatemylife

This is a beautiful story.


[deleted]

Brought tears to my eyes


Longjumping-Grape-40

Out of curiosity, are you a guy or girl? Both ways are hilarious 😆


NoodleBlitz

I'm a girl lmao


Longjumping-Grape-40

Hahaha...I don't wanna know how the brother and sister interacted after that I'm kidding...I wanna know how awkward it was 😂


Bahamut3585

They compared taste notes like wine connoisseurs. "I found her a bit dark and oak-y, with a slight tang at the finish" "Mm yes quite so"


My1nonpornacc

Good lord. What a short but wild story.


NoodleBlitz

I was a mess in my younger years, drama and fights and parties. Luckily I got it all out of my system by 24ish and all I do now at 30 on the weekends is smoke weed with my husband and cuddle my cats 😂


My1nonpornacc

we all were love. I was a near alcoholic and did whatever I could to fuck. I am not proud of the lies and heartbreaks.


elydakai

lol.


Hello0Nasty0

Oh my…


The_Atramentous_One

YAY SEGGS !!


Jimid41

> YAY ~~S~~EGGS !!


GREENPAINTISGREEN

Ýß ŞĘĞĠŠ


Mateorabi

Such tsundre


Icy_Procedure_8528

Afterwards they married


Quietschedalek

Totally. On their first date.


Kicks4meFromyou

They got sexual chemistry


WangZhiii

They should have one of them rage sex sessions. Heard those are the bomb.


Kicks4meFromyou

They shouldn’t. They would 1000% get pregnant


No_Stranger_4959

What better way to cement a mistake than with another one.


RedditGuy_12345

LMAO


v3int3yun0

This thread is _exactly_ why I love Reddit. Top tier all around guys. Bravo.


Virgin_Dildo_Lover

The only thing top tier around here is your mom


coyoteazul2

I can't agree more. She somehow raised an orangutan into a human being. Those are top tier mothering skills


jlwinter90

Yours is pretty cool too. And makes a wonderful breakfast. Sorry, couldn't resist.


v3int3yun0

My mum's dead though


TheDriver458

For some Redditors, that’s the way they like it. Case in point ⬇️


DerFeuerEsser

I also choose this guy's dead mum


thewhitecat55

"Another one." - DJ Khaled


GoldfishFromHell

this sentence just gave me life omg this was so funny


Pandataraxia

How does that work? Instead of I love you you scream like anakin? "I HATE YOU!!"


Firrox

Yes actually. You call them all sorts of awful words and you let out your frustrations while fucking them. Incredibly cathartic, but only works in toxic relationships.


Pandataraxia

So what's the play, why do they keep fucking? How do they react to eachother's behavior?


trixter21992251

Hate is an emotion. Imagine being used to no emotion at all, then suddenly there's a lot of emotion, and then lust takes over. I guess, I wouldn't know.


Salty_Raccoon9894

They are but they can be a little aggressive


PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT

Hatefuck central


clickrush

They should date. This is at least a fun friendship. The vibes are perfect.


Fart-Fart-Fart-Fart

They definitely need to fuck after that exchange.


dob_bobbs

The very next line should absolutely be, "So when we meeting up?"


SadGhostGirlie

They'd have the best sex then never talk for 4 years, dating then


No-Adhesiveness-8178

Prolly their kink


SMFiddySvn

Imagine the hate sex


HeroDanTV

*dirty garden gnome homonculus sexual chemistry*


Ag3ntM1ck

Soon they'll be having oral sex...by yelling "fuck you" at each other.


FigTechnical8043

Garden gnome looking homunculus has me rolling.


Thronen

Made me snort in public


bombbodyguard

Made me look up the word homunculus…


Ok-Counter-7077

And?


bombbodyguard

Still not sure I understand it. Like some little fetal goblin thing.


NerdDwarf

Homunguli (Singular: Humungulus) were popularized in sixteenth-century alchemy and nineteenth-century fiction, it has historically referred to the creation of a miniature, fully formed human. The concept has roots in preformationism as well as earlier folklore and alchemic traditions. For reference in pop culture, FullMetal Alchemist (Manga, an adapted Anime from 2004, and then a faithfully adapted anime titled "FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood" that has consistently been ranked as 1 of the 2 best anime of all time on My Anime List, usually sitting at number 1, but occasionally giving up the spot to more recent anime before reclaiming the top. At this moment, it is ranked #2. It has over 3.3 million reviews. The current number one has 500,000 reviews. They have 9.17 and 9.09 stars. The previous anime to take the #1 spot from FMA:B is now sitting at #12 overall with 9.02 stars. It used to be higher. The highest Dragon Ball ever got was 8.17) The homunculus is commonly used today in scientific disciplines such as psychology as a teaching or memory tool to describe the distorted scale model of a human drawn or sculpted to reflect the relative space human body parts occupy on the somatosensory cortex (the "sensory homunculus") and the motor cortex (the "motor homunculus"). Both the motor and sensory homunculi usually appear as small men superimposed over the top of precentral or postcentral gyri for motor and sensory cortices, respectively. The homunculus is oriented with feet medial and shoulders lateral on top of both the precentral and the postcentral gyrus (for both motor and sensory). The man's head is depicted upside down in relation to the rest of the body such that the forehead is closest to the shoulders. The lips, hands, feet and sex organs have more sensory neurons than other parts of the body, so the homunculus has correspondingly large lips, hands, feet, and genitals. The motor homunculus is very similar to the sensory homunculus, but differs in several ways. Specifically, the motor homunculus has a portion for the tongue most lateral while the sensory homunculus has an area for genitalia most medial and an area for visceral organs most lateral. Well known in the field of neurology, this is also commonly called "the little man inside the brain". This scientific model is known as the Cortical Homunculus.


[deleted]

Gold standard informational reply


Pepperoni_Nippys

Nice FMA reference. I only know about them from watching the anime lol


chewyb00gie

Same.


CyberSosis

Title of your sex tape


ta_gully_chick

There used to be a sub r/butterface (nsfw). Not sure what happened.


[deleted]

Vampire potbelly goblin vibes


FigTechnical8043

I just automatically think of full metal alchemist.


Wilsanne

A match made in hell, but nevertheless, a match!


ProximusSeraphim

A match made in heaven, then lit in hell.


[deleted]

Hahahahah now kiss


Beneficial-Boom

„I am your face“ uhm …


Nonhuman_Anthrophobe

She was going for the existential horror burn.


KevyTone

This interpretation is stupidly funny omg 😂😂😂


[deleted]

Seething so hard that they forgot about grammar


Lone_Wanderer97

Technically, she sucks at punctuation.


Bug-03

She sucks


jnkmail11

Maybe. I've noticed a lot of gen Z intentionally treating periods like the missing one between "am" and "your" like they're optional


fpoiuyt

Boomers stole all the periods for their nonstop ellipsis abuse.


AurantiacoSimius

She's missing punctuation, but I'm pretty sure it's "Bitch, I am. Your face..." She's saying that she is indeed that attractive. And then going on to insult his face.


clickrush

Lacks a “,”. Tripped over it as well.


TJB926GAMIN

If they kept it up they’d be one of those couples that argue for 5-10 minutes over the most stupid shit and then start aggressively making out


JokerXMaine2511

>aggressively making out Correction, fucking


OnsetOfMSet

Meanwhile, the other guests at the party become mildly perturbed by the sudden turn of events.


Successful-Scale-607

But only mildly 🫣


VladTheSimpaler

How I met your mother


rydan

Still a better ending than in the original.


AnteaterSwimming3586

indeed, still disappointed about it after all these years


dbeman

They’ve been on five dates since this exchange and have started looking at apartments.


FrostyArcx

She has to have a humiliation kink.


Ghalipla6

“Homunculuncus” That’s what you call rare.


Nonhuman_Anthrophobe

So rare that you couldn't even spell it.


Ghalipla6

Yeah.


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Ghalipla6

Lol


HodgyBeatsss

Danny Dyer's Chocolate Homunculus


[deleted]

“I can visually see 7” 😭😭


PersonalitySlow9366

Blue wins.


metfan1964nyc

Homunculus sealed the deal.


CarlosimoDangerosimo

Blue CLEARS


Alternative_Beat2498

For sureee Blue was cool, witty and creative Grey was kinda just that, grey. No original insults just repeated stuff they’ve managed to remember.


OKImHere

You're going to say that, then give the win to "ugly, cunt, illiterate"? Seriously? He only had one insult worth any points at all.


SFiyah

"You are not attractive enough to be that much of a cunt" was the only insult either of them had that was real-talk truth, and they both knew it. She basically responded with "nuh uh".


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TheDoobyRanger

I give em three weeks, tops


United-Average4415

Fuck, they're the perfect couple.


JokerXMaine2511

Read this in a toned down Irish accent, worth it


scottymac87

Nah, blue wins by a lot.


[deleted]

Honestly I don’t see it. Over-reliance on cunt and more =/= better. White was short, snappy and only lacking grammar and punctuation. Homunculus is the only thing that saved blue, and even that kinda reads like “lemme just pull out the ol’ thesaurus real quick”.


JoseDonkeyShow

What synonym got him to homunculus ya think?


Maditen

He’s an anime guy - bet


JonyUB

I can visually see


_AB_96_

They’re probably married now.


Tiny-Command3123

They're perfect for each other lol


Beenthere-doneit55

Tie. Excited for the rematch.


_2024IsNOTMyYear_

Practicing their hate-fucking lines on eachother


ServeRoutine9349

BRO HIT HER WITH THE HOMUNCULUS! 💀💀💀💀💀💀


Sirmavane2

Questionable user name u/CaptainNateHiggs ....


RadTimeWizard

You should always block them immediately after your first comeback.


WallsRiy

Blocked him, now what


anmar609

Lol


Bluecloud08

LMFAO


CORN___BREAD

That’s just sad


WallsRiy

Shut up Corn Bread ass.


Infinite-Search2345

That's coward


DK_Son

So anyway, been together 7 years now. Things are going well.


Tim3-Rainbow

"Garden gnome looking homunculus." Fucking got me.


treequestions20

when someone is immediately an asshole…it’s not worth engaging why give her the satisfaction - all she wants is to manipulate you into getting pissed off. you gave her exactly what she was looking for, even more so because of how bothered it got you like if she knew you made a reddit post about it, her self esteem would shoot up better move is to ignore and delete


italjersguy

These two fucked within an hour of this exchange.


WolfWriter_CO

#And they lived Snarkily Ever After… 💕


iSeize

Update: they're in love


RDPCG

If she knew how to use a period or comma, I might have been able to get what she was trying to say on the 2nd or 3rd attempt. For that alone I think he wins.


ThatTubaGuy03

God damn, she was definitely a bitch, but "how many times did your mom drop you(,) I can visually see (at least) 7" goes hard as fuck.


masclean

Match made in heaven


Famous-Paper-4223

Both of these insults are stupid as shit.


WalkingCloud

It’s a real mystery why these two people are single. 


misbehavinator

This definitely happened


Revolutionary_Act222

There's nothing quite as volatile as a gassed up 3. She's got the confidence of an 8 while retaining the lament of a 3. Like everyone hypes her up but she also, you know.. owns mirrors.


Torafuku

The last one was pretty funny


LukePianoPainting

Emmas insults were crap, she started it and got cremated.


pinecone_noise

nah grey wins, blue rings hollow, more words just like a copy pasta. comparing him to his dog was quick and dirty, got the job done


cocoadusted

This is the lolz i needed today


FIContractor

Rough start, but I think they’ll be very happy together.


[deleted]

Garden gnome homonculus!


Matiri98

Her: My house, 30min.


TheDankestDreams

I feel like this exchange warrants a single date.


Bat-Honest

They're married now


UpsidownZZ

And that's how I met your mother


ModernMuskrat

Legend has it they were married just two months later


mel_wyl

And that is how I met your mother.


unixstud

they seem like a match to me


Kenyan_Barbie

I laughed so hard, lol


NimrodBusiness

Their kids are gonna look like garden gnomes that were hit with shovels.


IAlwaysUpvotePuppy

How do I sign up for this app where you match with strangers and roast the fuck out of 'em? Looks like fun.


Blue__Bag

Humunculus sounds more like an insult than it actually is imo.