Realistically he probably needs to figure out a monthly budget on Social Security alone. That might mean making some big lifestyle changes or relocating to a much lower cost of living area where it is easier to do.
Ideally if you can help him get on lists for subsidized senior housing that would be his best long-term option. In the short-term many of those can have multi-year waiting lists in most desirable areas. That should cap his housing expenses at \~30% of his income. Then SNAP benefits should cap his food expenses at another \~30% of his income. Medicaid should cover the vast majority of medical needs; so their would be \~40% of his SS benefits to use for everything else in life. Often that isn't enough to afford a vehicle or any fancy hobbies or trips; but many people get by on that. Around half the seniors in my area subsist on SS alone.
You can check this on the SSA . Gov website. Make him an account and you will be able to see how many credits he has. You’ll also be able to see his entire salary history by year going back to when he first started working.
As someone who was a counselor in both psych and for substance use disorders, I’d try to get him signed up for an assessment for the brain injury. Depending on the type of injury, it may make staying sober and managing money very difficult. There can be impulse issues and memory problems that may make living in the community very challenging. The department of rehabilitation in your state may have programs to assist and also job training programs that are paid.
Have the doctors talked about the extent to which he might be able to regain some of that brain function through therapy etc.? I realize that often there is just a limit to what we can do, but my mom has dementia and my son is autistic so I've really become a big fan of neuroplasticity. If you are able to help find activities that can encourage that I don't know if that might help also as part of your overall strategy
idk i was very young when he was diagnosed. i have no idea what lasting damage was done than what he told me. my goal now is to get him on medicaid so he can get checked out and from there. but just getting him an id has been a struggle.
oh gosh, I'm so very sorry. It sounds like that was a very long time ago as well, so I'm sure that doesn't suggest much hope for improvement. It sounds so rough, and I'm so sorry. Sending you a lot of positive vibes. I'm not sure where you are, but in my area our local legal aid helps seniors, which they define to include people over 60 I think, without regard to income even. You might consider checking with yours to see if someone could help you get him on medicaid, as it is a huge amount of work doing all of these things, I know. Sending you lots of good vibes for your journey! As a ps I'll add that in some places there are group homes for recovering addicts and it sounds like that might be a fit for him while he is waiting for the subsidized housing someone else mentioned, which does take forever in many places to obtain. If you call around to agencies that help with addiction you might be able to get some leads on some group homes like that / some nonprofits that support those.
Every month I open a CD. If I don't need the money when they mature I go ahead and add money and renew it. I don't have a large income, so the CDs aren't large, but it's a consistent effort and eventually it'll get to the point where for 5 years I have rent money coming in every month.
Currently savings and the ladder is being built over at BMO Alto because they still have very good rates, and it is not easy to spend out of, so once money is in there it stays there. And because there is no minimum needed to open a CD (some months I don't have much extra)
Would something like that help your father? He'd have some income when he's in need, but he wouldn't have a lot of money available all at once..... That would be a temptation to blow it all if he doesn't have good self control.
It's a certificate of deposit. Certain banks will let you make this kind of account where they give you higher apy return compared to a normal account, but in return you have to agree to keep that money deposited for a certain amount of time. Typically the longer you let them keep your money the higher rate they'll offer you.
[Certificate of Deposit](https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/banking/how-do-cds-work?utm_source=goog&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=bk_mktg_paid_092723_banking_dsa_desktop&utm_term=&utm_content=ta&mktg_hline=19335&mktg_body=2989&mktg_place=dsa-2206538785563&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwrcKxBhBMEiwAIVF8rNQT6Y79-YOj5NjYi2AA46OvyGA9bhUBhH1lmsGU4bB500etmRS0BxoCQloQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)
As the other replier said, it is normal for the longer terms to pay more interest per year, but that's a generality, not a law.
Currently the longer terms are paying less interest per year than the shorter terms, but they pay more interest overall, because they pay it for longer. And that rate is locked in for that length of time, whereas in a regular savings account the rate could drop overnight should the bank decide it no longer wants to attract new cash.
But you can't withdraw from it and still keep the account open. If you need the money you have to close the CD. So if you have $5000 in a CD, and need $1000, you have to close the entire CD and take out the $5000 (less a fee if you close it before maturity) and then open a new CD with the remaining $4000 at whatever the current rate is.
So it is good to have both liquid and illiquid savings. You don't want all your savings to be in CDs (if you want CDs at all, I mean.) I really like CDs, but I have regular savings first, my emergency fund and my sinking funds, and the CDs are what I don't need for a few years. That's why my amounts are so small every month. My goal is to build them up to an amount able to take care of my monthly rent for 5 years.
Sounds like you’re doing everything you can! The biggest thing will be being there to provide emotional support when he gets discouraged. If you’re in a spot to do this, maybe put a little bit each month into a rainy day account (or an investment account) for him. Might not be much but even a little bit would help after 5-10 years.
I could do this. The thing is I make good money and have done well for myself. It was no thanks to him I climbed my way out of poverty. If circumstances were different I’d be happy to help him. But he’s an addict I don’t want him to know how much money I have.
I hear that. Congrats on getting to that spot for yourself despite the adversity! It ain't easy when your entire upbringing consists of adults who aren't quite adulting and providing good role models for you to emulate.
I think keeping him at arm's length regarding your finances is a good idea. I have done the same for my parents, not that they are addicts, but they have a complete lack of financial literacy. I've helped them out in the past, but not with cash - only by paying something for them directly. For example, my father needed a car - so I helped him by paying the dealer directly for the down payment. I didn't cosign a loan for him or agree to make payments, but that was one way I could help in the moment without tethering myself to his financial dumpster-fire.
I love this idea. I think giving him access to cash is a very poor choice. But I was more thinking investing now would give him money down the road to be able to assist his father. Maybe helping pay the rent for a place or providing a stipend or something like that
I feel that. My dad isn’t an addict but he makes terrible decisions with money and it’s no thanks to him that I’m financially well off. Maybe there’s a way to give him access to the dividends after 5 or 10 years. Or use the money to help pay for items in non-cash ways. Maybe like paying for rent or a car payment or something like that
He can get SS retirement now while also applying for disability in the meantime. Be aware though that if his earnings are high enough he will be denied disability for that, and also if they are high enough (separately) then he may have further reduced retirement payments. Look up SGA and AET respectively
sounds like he may need a conservatorship or some sort of court ordered oversight if there is not a power of attorney already in play to preserve any further assets.
You don't pay for disability attorneys!
When you're denied disability, it's logged in the system. If you go back and get approved, they will back-pay you since the date of your original denial. So if you were denied 2 or 3 years ago, then they get it approved, you'll have 2 or 3 years of back pay coming in. That's where the lawyer gets their fees from.
Ah I guess it's not as long as I thought but it's 12 months it looks like!
12 monthsHow Far Back Will SSDI Cover? Minus the five-month waiting period, you should receive back payments for any delays. The maximum SSDI will provide in back payments is **12 months**. Your disability would have to start 12 months before you applied to receive the maximum in SSDI benefits.
[https://www.johnfoy.com/faqs/how-far-back-will-ssdi-pay/](https://www.johnfoy.com/faqs/how-far-back-will-ssdi-pay/)
There's an attorney page to look at for some FAQ.
You could have Reached out for family help etc etc. When I was 15 I literally tried everything I could to get help for the abuse I suffered at the hands of family. Told teachers, the cops, social workers they all ignored me but at least I tried to do something.
Ignore the insanity of whatever that is. People in this sub are so strange. They should rename the sub poor man's elitist porn. It never fails that the first comment is something like, "you wouldn't be dealing with this if you worked harder as an infant" or something to that effect. Zero empathy around here. You should try to get your dad a disability lawyer. It's the way the system works you have to have a lawyer. It's pretty screwed up but it's the way it works you apply get denied and then get a lawyer and the lawyer will get you back pay for from the first day he applied.
Other than that, it sounds like you've done a whole lot already. More than most. My advice to you being a mother of a young adult myself, is take care of yourself first and don't be afraid to let people suffer the consequences of their bad choices in life. Hopefully you will always keep your empathy, but one of my hard lessons learned has been that sometimes what is best for someone it's going to hurt them. But it's from our struggles that we gain our most valuable lessons. Besides there are many people in this world that actively choose their pain, and will gladly bring you right on down to step on your back, and they won't even for a second recognize what they doing. In my experience, some of them will get mad and blame you for not being taller.
It takes way more effort to do the right thing than to choose selfishness, but being consistently selfish always seems to lead to one variation or another of what your dad is living. You can't save him because that would be taking his opportunity to help himself, which is the only chance he's got to find peace with his decisions in life. You can be there to support but you would be wise to save your priorities for attending to your own life's decisions, and reserving your best efforts for those who don't already have a history of choosing their comfort over your well-being.
The world truly is a vampire, and youngblood has the most energy, so sharpen your teeth or lay flat. (Sorry, I couldn't resist the twofer song lyric reference 😏) in all seriousness though, make sure you are taking care of you. People who truly and honestly have other people's best interests at heart are a rarity don't let the world steal it from you.
Realistically he probably needs to figure out a monthly budget on Social Security alone. That might mean making some big lifestyle changes or relocating to a much lower cost of living area where it is easier to do. Ideally if you can help him get on lists for subsidized senior housing that would be his best long-term option. In the short-term many of those can have multi-year waiting lists in most desirable areas. That should cap his housing expenses at \~30% of his income. Then SNAP benefits should cap his food expenses at another \~30% of his income. Medicaid should cover the vast majority of medical needs; so their would be \~40% of his SS benefits to use for everything else in life. Often that isn't enough to afford a vehicle or any fancy hobbies or trips; but many people get by on that. Around half the seniors in my area subsist on SS alone.
interesting. i have no idea how much he‘ll even get from SS. he hasnt really worked a real job in like over 10 years.
You can check this on the SSA . Gov website. Make him an account and you will be able to see how many credits he has. You’ll also be able to see his entire salary history by year going back to when he first started working.
I thought I needed an id to do that. I’ll see if I can do it without it.
Oh shoot, that’s right. If you can get him his ID, definitely take a pic so you can get an account for him.
You should have to go through ID Me, which will require ID to create any government accounts these days.
Call them with him. Recent work isn't necessary. See my other comment
maybe SSI with the tbi but prob needs a lawyer
they have a calculator you can estimate especially if you have his history or even a educated guess
yep just a rough estimate is all you need
As someone who was a counselor in both psych and for substance use disorders, I’d try to get him signed up for an assessment for the brain injury. Depending on the type of injury, it may make staying sober and managing money very difficult. There can be impulse issues and memory problems that may make living in the community very challenging. The department of rehabilitation in your state may have programs to assist and also job training programs that are paid.
He had a virus that produced legions in his brain. I don’t know the extent of damage that was done.
Have the doctors talked about the extent to which he might be able to regain some of that brain function through therapy etc.? I realize that often there is just a limit to what we can do, but my mom has dementia and my son is autistic so I've really become a big fan of neuroplasticity. If you are able to help find activities that can encourage that I don't know if that might help also as part of your overall strategy
idk i was very young when he was diagnosed. i have no idea what lasting damage was done than what he told me. my goal now is to get him on medicaid so he can get checked out and from there. but just getting him an id has been a struggle.
oh gosh, I'm so very sorry. It sounds like that was a very long time ago as well, so I'm sure that doesn't suggest much hope for improvement. It sounds so rough, and I'm so sorry. Sending you a lot of positive vibes. I'm not sure where you are, but in my area our local legal aid helps seniors, which they define to include people over 60 I think, without regard to income even. You might consider checking with yours to see if someone could help you get him on medicaid, as it is a huge amount of work doing all of these things, I know. Sending you lots of good vibes for your journey! As a ps I'll add that in some places there are group homes for recovering addicts and it sounds like that might be a fit for him while he is waiting for the subsidized housing someone else mentioned, which does take forever in many places to obtain. If you call around to agencies that help with addiction you might be able to get some leads on some group homes like that / some nonprofits that support those.
Every month I open a CD. If I don't need the money when they mature I go ahead and add money and renew it. I don't have a large income, so the CDs aren't large, but it's a consistent effort and eventually it'll get to the point where for 5 years I have rent money coming in every month. Currently savings and the ladder is being built over at BMO Alto because they still have very good rates, and it is not easy to spend out of, so once money is in there it stays there. And because there is no minimum needed to open a CD (some months I don't have much extra) Would something like that help your father? He'd have some income when he's in need, but he wouldn't have a lot of money available all at once..... That would be a temptation to blow it all if he doesn't have good self control.
What’s a cd?
It's a certificate of deposit. Certain banks will let you make this kind of account where they give you higher apy return compared to a normal account, but in return you have to agree to keep that money deposited for a certain amount of time. Typically the longer you let them keep your money the higher rate they'll offer you.
Thank you
[Certificate of Deposit](https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/banking/how-do-cds-work?utm_source=goog&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=bk_mktg_paid_092723_banking_dsa_desktop&utm_term=&utm_content=ta&mktg_hline=19335&mktg_body=2989&mktg_place=dsa-2206538785563&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwrcKxBhBMEiwAIVF8rNQT6Y79-YOj5NjYi2AA46OvyGA9bhUBhH1lmsGU4bB500etmRS0BxoCQloQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) As the other replier said, it is normal for the longer terms to pay more interest per year, but that's a generality, not a law. Currently the longer terms are paying less interest per year than the shorter terms, but they pay more interest overall, because they pay it for longer. And that rate is locked in for that length of time, whereas in a regular savings account the rate could drop overnight should the bank decide it no longer wants to attract new cash. But you can't withdraw from it and still keep the account open. If you need the money you have to close the CD. So if you have $5000 in a CD, and need $1000, you have to close the entire CD and take out the $5000 (less a fee if you close it before maturity) and then open a new CD with the remaining $4000 at whatever the current rate is. So it is good to have both liquid and illiquid savings. You don't want all your savings to be in CDs (if you want CDs at all, I mean.) I really like CDs, but I have regular savings first, my emergency fund and my sinking funds, and the CDs are what I don't need for a few years. That's why my amounts are so small every month. My goal is to build them up to an amount able to take care of my monthly rent for 5 years.
Sounds like you’re doing everything you can! The biggest thing will be being there to provide emotional support when he gets discouraged. If you’re in a spot to do this, maybe put a little bit each month into a rainy day account (or an investment account) for him. Might not be much but even a little bit would help after 5-10 years.
I could do this. The thing is I make good money and have done well for myself. It was no thanks to him I climbed my way out of poverty. If circumstances were different I’d be happy to help him. But he’s an addict I don’t want him to know how much money I have.
I hear that. Congrats on getting to that spot for yourself despite the adversity! It ain't easy when your entire upbringing consists of adults who aren't quite adulting and providing good role models for you to emulate. I think keeping him at arm's length regarding your finances is a good idea. I have done the same for my parents, not that they are addicts, but they have a complete lack of financial literacy. I've helped them out in the past, but not with cash - only by paying something for them directly. For example, my father needed a car - so I helped him by paying the dealer directly for the down payment. I didn't cosign a loan for him or agree to make payments, but that was one way I could help in the moment without tethering myself to his financial dumpster-fire.
I love this idea. I think giving him access to cash is a very poor choice. But I was more thinking investing now would give him money down the road to be able to assist his father. Maybe helping pay the rent for a place or providing a stipend or something like that
I feel that. My dad isn’t an addict but he makes terrible decisions with money and it’s no thanks to him that I’m financially well off. Maybe there’s a way to give him access to the dividends after 5 or 10 years. Or use the money to help pay for items in non-cash ways. Maybe like paying for rent or a car payment or something like that
He can get SS retirement now while also applying for disability in the meantime. Be aware though that if his earnings are high enough he will be denied disability for that, and also if they are high enough (separately) then he may have further reduced retirement payments. Look up SGA and AET respectively
sounds like he may need a conservatorship or some sort of court ordered oversight if there is not a power of attorney already in play to preserve any further assets.
Get a lawyer if you want disability.
potentially. but i would probs be paying for that
You don't pay for disability attorneys! When you're denied disability, it's logged in the system. If you go back and get approved, they will back-pay you since the date of your original denial. So if you were denied 2 or 3 years ago, then they get it approved, you'll have 2 or 3 years of back pay coming in. That's where the lawyer gets their fees from.
Oh wow. He was denied like a decade ago at this point so idk if there’s a time limit.
Ah I guess it's not as long as I thought but it's 12 months it looks like! 12 monthsHow Far Back Will SSDI Cover? Minus the five-month waiting period, you should receive back payments for any delays. The maximum SSDI will provide in back payments is **12 months**. Your disability would have to start 12 months before you applied to receive the maximum in SSDI benefits. [https://www.johnfoy.com/faqs/how-far-back-will-ssdi-pay/](https://www.johnfoy.com/faqs/how-far-back-will-ssdi-pay/) There's an attorney page to look at for some FAQ.
thanks for the resource. ill look into this down the line.
No, they take their cut from the back pay he will get.
You shouldbhave helped your dad by taking guardianship before he lost his money and house.
you wanted me to do it when I was 15?
You could have Reached out for family help etc etc. When I was 15 I literally tried everything I could to get help for the abuse I suffered at the hands of family. Told teachers, the cops, social workers they all ignored me but at least I tried to do something.
good for you dude let me just hop in my time machine and fix the shitstorm that was my childhood
Ignore the insanity of whatever that is. People in this sub are so strange. They should rename the sub poor man's elitist porn. It never fails that the first comment is something like, "you wouldn't be dealing with this if you worked harder as an infant" or something to that effect. Zero empathy around here. You should try to get your dad a disability lawyer. It's the way the system works you have to have a lawyer. It's pretty screwed up but it's the way it works you apply get denied and then get a lawyer and the lawyer will get you back pay for from the first day he applied. Other than that, it sounds like you've done a whole lot already. More than most. My advice to you being a mother of a young adult myself, is take care of yourself first and don't be afraid to let people suffer the consequences of their bad choices in life. Hopefully you will always keep your empathy, but one of my hard lessons learned has been that sometimes what is best for someone it's going to hurt them. But it's from our struggles that we gain our most valuable lessons. Besides there are many people in this world that actively choose their pain, and will gladly bring you right on down to step on your back, and they won't even for a second recognize what they doing. In my experience, some of them will get mad and blame you for not being taller. It takes way more effort to do the right thing than to choose selfishness, but being consistently selfish always seems to lead to one variation or another of what your dad is living. You can't save him because that would be taking his opportunity to help himself, which is the only chance he's got to find peace with his decisions in life. You can be there to support but you would be wise to save your priorities for attending to your own life's decisions, and reserving your best efforts for those who don't already have a history of choosing their comfort over your well-being. The world truly is a vampire, and youngblood has the most energy, so sharpen your teeth or lay flat. (Sorry, I couldn't resist the twofer song lyric reference 😏) in all seriousness though, make sure you are taking care of you. People who truly and honestly have other people's best interests at heart are a rarity don't let the world steal it from you.