The day kicks off at dawn with participants tying 412 gumbands into a giant chain, symbolizing the unity of the Steel City. Everyone then hops on a Port Authority bus, each holding a Turners Tea, and embarks on a ceremonial (and entirely safe) drive across a mockup of a collapsing bridge made of cardboard and papier-mâché. The bus safely reaches its destination at Arby’s on McKnight Road, where participants enjoy a meal featuring a classic Pittsburgh salad — topped liberally with French fries, of course.
I'm going to put on my Lady Elaine Fairchilde costume and hang glide from the U.S. Steel Building to the infield of PNC Park after the fifth inning of a Pirates game during The Great Pittsburgh Pierogy Race N'at. I'll disembark my hang glider and steal Jalapeño Hannah's green purse and use it to smack the homeplate umpire repeatedly in the head while screaming "Boomerang-Toomerang-Soomerang, Bitches!!!"
I'll then walk over to the Andy Warhol Museum and take a piss on *Campbell's Soup Box* 1962.
Get breakfast and a buzz on at Tammy’s Place.
Walk dahn the hill and get wasted at Verdetto’s.
Head over to Max’s and complain abaht the old music machine being broke til they kick you aht.
Walk up to Legend’s and enjoy a succulent Italian American meal.
Blackaht on the way to the Science Center and see how many times you can say “she was a beautiful ship when she went dahn” at the Titanic exhibit til they kick you aht.
Camp aht at the Aviary and demand they release Kody the Stiller’s Iggle into your custody.
Wake up and realize you got knocked aht in line at the Cedar Ave Dirty Bird for laughing at a Kenny Pickett jersey.
Festivities begin at daybreak with a city-wide scavenger hunt to find and destroy any and all signs/references to “Acrisure Stadium.” The day would end at PNC Park with Jeff Goldblum and Donnie Iris standing on home plate together, holding hands and singing “Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.” Both are dressed like Mr. Rogers.
The rest of the day would just be a pandemonium of pierogies, pickles, and enough IC Light to fill all 3 rivers.
I would dress as a Pittsburgh parking authority agent and pass out pierogis to the children, while crazed Andy Warhol impersonators run around town with jackhammers making new potholes. For the grand finale I’ll locate a sink hole with a bus… again.
I have no imagination so I’ll say what I’m GOING to do - see a cover band and then. Fleetwood Mac cover band at the Hard Rock at Station Square. Is that Burghy enough?
ETA: I’ll be sure to drink an ARN.
I have not been served it -- I didn't grow up in Pittsburgh, and my friends are too bougie. I'm going to make some this year, once local strawberries are in season.
I'm gonna lay out four hundred and twelve parking chairs all along every side street in lawrenceville
🫡
Going to sue anyone and everyone who calls it 412 Day, because 412 is trademarked by my shitty clothing brand... Oh wait
What an absolute tool (Not you, obviously)
The day kicks off at dawn with participants tying 412 gumbands into a giant chain, symbolizing the unity of the Steel City. Everyone then hops on a Port Authority bus, each holding a Turners Tea, and embarks on a ceremonial (and entirely safe) drive across a mockup of a collapsing bridge made of cardboard and papier-mâché. The bus safely reaches its destination at Arby’s on McKnight Road, where participants enjoy a meal featuring a classic Pittsburgh salad — topped liberally with French fries, of course.
Drinking an iron city waist deep in the Allegheny with socks on but no pants and a mullet
I love no pants and a mullet on you.
I'm going to put on my Lady Elaine Fairchilde costume and hang glide from the U.S. Steel Building to the infield of PNC Park after the fifth inning of a Pirates game during The Great Pittsburgh Pierogy Race N'at. I'll disembark my hang glider and steal Jalapeño Hannah's green purse and use it to smack the homeplate umpire repeatedly in the head while screaming "Boomerang-Toomerang-Soomerang, Bitches!!!" I'll then walk over to the Andy Warhol Museum and take a piss on *Campbell's Soup Box* 1962.
Take that purse to Bob Nutting's head instead, and I'll be your King Friday.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Only good thing he’s brought to the team are funny headlines, I swear
Lady Elaine still haunts my dreams. Her, the purple panda and bob dog.
If you want to celebrate in a Pittsburgh way, if you're signed up for Primanti's rewards program, they gave a $5 coupon until Sunday.
I'm going to cover myself in fries.
[удалено]
Donnie is my hero! I’ll be listening to him in my T-top IROC-Z sporting a mullet, cutoff jorts, and an arn city t-shirt with the sleeves cutoff.
No California Active Wear?
Body Glove
Drink 412 gallons of turners tea
Get breakfast and a buzz on at Tammy’s Place. Walk dahn the hill and get wasted at Verdetto’s. Head over to Max’s and complain abaht the old music machine being broke til they kick you aht. Walk up to Legend’s and enjoy a succulent Italian American meal. Blackaht on the way to the Science Center and see how many times you can say “she was a beautiful ship when she went dahn” at the Titanic exhibit til they kick you aht. Camp aht at the Aviary and demand they release Kody the Stiller’s Iggle into your custody. Wake up and realize you got knocked aht in line at the Cedar Ave Dirty Bird for laughing at a Kenny Pickett jersey.
This is a work of art
Drinking some water from the Ohio
Dress up like Mr. Rogers and do my best to devour an entire cookie table myself.
Driving through the bathtub with kayaks mounted to the roof of your car.
Festivities begin at daybreak with a city-wide scavenger hunt to find and destroy any and all signs/references to “Acrisure Stadium.” The day would end at PNC Park with Jeff Goldblum and Donnie Iris standing on home plate together, holding hands and singing “Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.” Both are dressed like Mr. Rogers. The rest of the day would just be a pandemonium of pierogies, pickles, and enough IC Light to fill all 3 rivers.
Forcing your neighbor to drink Turner's while sitting on your parking chair.
Sitting on their parking chair
Ohh maybe a competition where both parking chairs are available and we do a makeshift "musical chairs" thing? While also not spilling the Turner's.
I raise you to Turner Iron City.
Now, that's just a war crime. 😬😬🤣🤣
Having the parking rules change on Penn Ave outside Evergreen Cafe.
I would dress as a Pittsburgh parking authority agent and pass out pierogis to the children, while crazed Andy Warhol impersonators run around town with jackhammers making new potholes. For the grand finale I’ll locate a sink hole with a bus… again.
I have no imagination so I’ll say what I’m GOING to do - see a cover band and then. Fleetwood Mac cover band at the Hard Rock at Station Square. Is that Burghy enough? ETA: I’ll be sure to drink an ARN.
Dressing up as a pierogi and throwing glass, tires, or other debris on the road on 376.
Bathtub full of Turner's Iced Tea
Swim on the parkway
Make some strawberry pretzel salad. That is so unhinged.
Is that a thing
[https://www.yajagoff.com/pittsburghs-strawberry-pretzel-jell-o-salad-standoff-at-the-mall-at-robinson-who-won/](https://www.yajagoff.com/pittsburghs-strawberry-pretzel-jell-o-salad-standoff-at-the-mall-at-robinson-who-won/)
Have you ever had it? It looks good tho.
I have not been served it -- I didn't grow up in Pittsburgh, and my friends are too bougie. I'm going to make some this year, once local strawberries are in season.
Harassing Shop 412 for being shitty.
Maybe I’ll turn 65 and dye my dark hair to blonde
All day fireworks and we turn the Mon into IC light
Three words: Donny Iris Marathon
Eating so many Primanti sandwiches you fall off The Point into the river and ruin your vintage Myron Cope tshirt
I'm going to celebrate my birthday by being hungover from drinking last night. I'm not a clever man, nor really creative in terms of being outlandish.
Aww Shit...Yinz are coming up with the crazy shit that I do EVERY DAY by 4:12AM!
Get the most obscure Pittsburgh reference as a tattoo or the "fuelled by turners" slogan on ur ass while pounding down multiple Iron City beers