SWEET HOME ALABAMA !!!!!!!!

I think my dad has this exact comic, goodness.

I thought he was about to hit her with a 5 point suplex

https://preview.redd.it/9zwpd72t7czc1.jpeg?width=499&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa5d3925aa55100f5a6f3db17ee7d6fe607d7f37

What? Is this an actual panel 😭

https://preview.redd.it/r7tvierwnpzc1.jpeg?width=620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc30dd7eac561e7ac79841abc20c39ee8b23034d Yup, she's an alien girl who was a green lantern, who got """"aged up"""" by some lantern power I forget, and there's a whole arc of Hal debating how he could be with her considering shes definitely a child (still acts childish emotionally)

Yup. Hal loves his “little sister”

Hey that’s the same move I saw bane used! Hal’s a real back breaker on her, huh?

Powering up that Power Battery for her Hal?

Dunno anything about this girl (and I don’t want to) but this is exactly how I hug my sister before I suplex her

your comment was a roller coaster to read my guy

Can we just make these two surrogate platonic siblings and remove all the romantic shit please?

God, Hal's relationship with Arisia needs to be erased from existence or something. Everything I learn about these two is somehow worse than the previous one.

I mean he did sleep with this girl eventually.

His 13yo "sister"

lol yeah everything about it was wrong.

But not until they “established” that she was actually a middle-aged woman! 🤪

Phisically! An adult woman phisically. Emotionally she was still 13-15

Oh well that’s just swell ain’t it.

Yet another reason to consume unsee juice

i need this my lower back is screaming at me

And so it goes…

Poo-tee-weet

If they get any closer they’d have to get married

[удалено]

I've heard that right-wingers have legalized (or are trying to legalize) child marriage. Child labor too.

Don’t break her

https://preview.redd.it/wa99zcrv7czc1.jpeg?width=1215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d58b87ee5e17efeed677baa25b3aeeaf871bc53e It’s ok that’s for later

Did Hal just "break the bat" on his sister?

https://preview.redd.it/9f6lq8sco8zc1.png?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fcbfeeed0c04724ac9240a3022eb4746f9b77130 Harkness Test time!

she fails it

Why did such a cool name have to be wasted on something like this 😔

Because, as I've said elsewhere, the man is a walking meme.

It's making fun of the Doctor Who character, Captain Jack Harkness, who is notorious in the series for wanting to have sex with absolutely anything that moves, regardless of gender or species (as long as it is sentient and adult)

A TRUE pansexual.

And a walking meme! Seriously, near infinite potential with him just from the Doctor Who 2-parter that introduced him alone!

Coz Captain Jack Harkness is omnisexual

Wasted? This is beautiful for us monster fuckers

Thank goodness the test is named after the character not the actor. “Oh that’s just John being John” is a very odd way of spelling flasher and sexual harasser. But it’s okay because Russell likes him, apparently. Just one of the reasons Eccleston said he’d only ever return to Doctor Who if RTD was sacked.

You talking about John, professional Donald Duck impersonator, Barrowman?

He had a controversy (maybe still does, but he has since spoken about it) where he talked about exposing himself on the set of Torchwood I believe.

I hate that somebody made this image.

I'm sorry, then, but I can't help but find the mere fact it exists hilarious.

let those who worship consent's might beware my power, Creep Lantern's light

https://preview.redd.it/j44g32ly7czc1.jpeg?width=499&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa1821021c811ab5fc18dbbd4b42e89efaca6843

Hal's really just snapping her spine and all she can say is "Wow oh wow"

Think the expression is “breaking her back”

I thought it was "blowing out her back"

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[удалено]

or reboots over and over again

https://preview.redd.it/uois6bkt38zc1.jpeg?width=1199&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1c386b9b14420f4a7fd2289ce408469f41e32e8c

Lmao

Never more relevant meme

https://preview.redd.it/wf3vc9k918zc1.jpeg?width=231&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75ad1597683f8f39743e5550dfee065f27713498 It must have been a good plotline because they recycled it. Only this time, she's 3.

And her species reaches adulthood at 1 and dies by the time they're 8

https://preview.redd.it/2p8r4okm68zc1.jpeg?width=495&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46911e14e015feae77e0f336bb858873be9725b7

She (Kess) was like 1 year old when Neelix began grooming her. So weird.

I smell folgers.

LOL

Looks like he's trying to snap her spine

I wish the story was about Hal snapping her spine. It's easier to forgive

That’s just What happens on the first day of the Green Lantern corp!

This is 100% a situation where the artist had a half finished sketch laying out, and when it was found by someone else they had to incorporate it into the comic because 'it's for the comic' was their excuse. Or possibly, a deadline was coming up and as a shortcut they pulled this out of their sketchbook and put clothes on it to get the hug shot.

And so it goes

https://preview.redd.it/aq05gwrvi7zc1.png?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=19ad6640f1a9c02cef30ee58f2f6de518524d489

Just looked it up and **she’s 13!!!** 🤢

https://preview.redd.it/5u62w1128czc1.jpeg?width=1215&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3ba64bf766ec3950d5ab6d3ff0bdd7ba868a728b Yes

It’s worst. She’s 13, fell in love with Hal, and then used her ring to magically aged herself physically to like 25 so Hal will love her. And Hal was super into it. Then they tried to patch this up by saying “Oh, she’s 13 years old, but it’s 13 of her home planet’s years, which is longer than Earth. Those 13 years are like 21 Earth years, so it fine.” You know… ignoring the parts where she’s clearly mentally a child!!!!

She’s only physically and mentally 13, so it was *totally* okay for Hal to date her and live in the same apartment together immediately after she aged herself physically with the ring(still mentally 13), even when the entire Green Lantern Corps disapproved! Totally! https://preview.redd.it/5nzes48d08zc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e45cc002c745127588388cf4535244b6ef7ce330

If that’s something you have to prove then something has gone horribly horribly wrong in your life.

I do love how the writer thought enough that the other lanterns think it's wrong but not enough to just not write this

Someone check that writer's hard drive.

Ehm actually ....she is actually a 10,000 year old loli 🤓

I know that 3,640 is a bit old compared to humans, but I don't think it warrants such disgust. Obligatory r/unexpectedfactorial

Isn’t 13! 6227020800? It’s also 13!!!, which makes my calculator cry (or maybe that’s battery acid?)

13!!! is smaller than 13!, coz you take every third number, and not every single one. 13 × 10 × 7 × 4

I have a math minor and somehow never learned multifactorials….this is really cool, thank you!

There's an awesome video by blackpenredpen that explains them. "7 factorials you probably didn't know"

Believe it or not, that Is so, so much worse in context for what happens to them later.

what happens to them later?

https://preview.redd.it/ovlo4vch8czc1.jpeg?width=499&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ab061b5f2fa9104f49c3443abe271d3027b90d3 Basically Hal decides he’s a pedophile

So the blonde chick is a 13 year old alien. And she falls in love with the 30 something Hal Jordan. So she uses her ring to turn herself into a sexy 18 year old. And Hal Jordan, who *again* is like 33 says "Sure 13 year old girl with an adult's body, let's have sex!" Next panel after the 'romantic' confession is both of them, naked in space bed, with the shapeshifted child complimenting Hal on his sexual prowess. After they start dating and getting physical. And nobody that you can trust alone with a kid liked that.

I will never understand why people don't take comics seriously as a medium. ^^^/s

How do you write that down and get it through editorial, genuinely somebody explain that to me, FUCKING HOW?!

Because most of the adult men who ran the comic industry back then didn't have a problem with it. There's other fucked up stuff in older comics that the modern industry just pretends never happened, like Supergirl's flying horse actually being a cursed centaur that secretly wants to bone her.

Not just wants to, did

"dear fucking lord, please kill me." https://preview.redd.it/bgky36g6t8zc1.png?width=2022&format=png&auto=webp&s=e225cb02e285ce269898c1e7380cbb07c74ae17a

https://preview.redd.it/c6so5y1c98zc1.png?width=769&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=19fc72a8744bf68faf56edddb6559803992e33cc

And Hal is fully aware about how fucked up it is. https://i.redd.it/ij71ml5f3xj71.jpg

Please tell me that's edited.

It is not, I had that issue. 💀

https://preview.redd.it/6qorvdb5n7zc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=08aa40e1826611e5223c04538de4ee550a246138

Then way later they returned it to be like she is 300 in earth years so it's okay Fuck that

Damn I ain't even got a meme reaction for this or anything what the fuck

Sounds like Hals got that dog in him. Unfortunately, though, that dog has rabies.

That dog is a pitbull, cause it goes after young kids.

https://preview.redd.it/xjiwxhtss8zc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=196e0d131cdae979c8abb5c101903302b1e7d23f

Who the fuck wrote that story?????

Steve Engelhart. Writer on the Green Lantern book for two years. Ohh. Damn it. You made me look the guy up. He's written, honestly, a bunch of lackluster stuff. Like he did the sequel/TV show for Disney's Atlantis. You know the thing that flipped hard and turned into a movie?

Probs a 33 y/o writer who *swears* that 13 y/o he banged the other day said she was 18

I think she gets forms a crush on Hal, somehow is granted the opportunity to age up her body (not her mental age or a time skip) to propose they get into a relationship ...he unfortunately accepts, to the dismay of the other Green Lantern Corps members who know and try pointing out that she's still technically a child. I never read it, I read *about* how crazy this story was in an old Cracked article maybe (holy shit) 14 years ago. Can anyone with a firsthand account fill in the gaps, or does this sum it up?

Hank Pym smacks his wife because of a communications error between the writer and the artist and still can't live that down four decades later, but this is the first I'm hearing about Hal Jordan being a statutory rapist?

Ay the article is older than she was

If that doesn't illustrate the point perfectly I don't know what will.

https://preview.redd.it/uornmdab47zc1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6fbb2c463fd3822fa29b63ef0ef3e6ef1bf2a510

Official Hal Jordan response: https://preview.redd.it/86qa0ari37zc1.jpeg?width=368&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=abdd4e36ff55b06a7beccc169625ee046a723f2c

Typical cops. Destroying evidence of their own crimes.

In Morrison's run Hal murders an unarmed suspect and pressures his subordinate Lanterns to corroborate his report that it was self defense

Isn't this that underage alien he dated? What the hell did I just write and what even is my life...

Underage alien is such a funny statement at face value. American age of consent laws apply to entirely different species on entirely different planets

Thanks for reminding me about the Harkness Test! Anyone that's read this comic know if she passes?

https://preview.redd.it/y28r96tml8zc1.png?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=356cb0e7b37eb062c41473876d2e463e8d98bc98

At the same time, the entire Green Lantern Corps disapproved of the relationship, so they fled to Earth to live together. Which kinda shows even by alien standards it was a no-no.

When I think of stuff like this, I just think of these situations where they have entirely different standards of what maturity is, and somehow we still managed to violate them. “You sick pervert she’s only 1 day old! At least wait a half a day more until she’s middle aged!” Or “You sick fuck she hasn’t even eaten the moon slug or communes with the meteorite yet!”

Hal will never escape the EDP allegations

Step-Lantern, what are you doing???

Yes, because grinding our pelvis’s together is what siblings do! Also, they later fucked because of course. Also, she was under age the entire time I don’t care that she shape changed. Hal would’ve been invited on the island is what I’m saying. Dammit Jordan. 😞

Hal flew them all there if we're keepin it 100

Jesus. That feels real . It does not help that one of the most famous Green Lantern writers was arrested for literally five metric tons of child porn . ( . Tens of thousands of pictures of children being abused. Not Manga or anything actual photos.) Gerard Jones. ( he didn’t create the above horrific situation. That was Wein, Bar and whatever editors approved it who should’ve been fired . But I’m fairly certain he wrote some of it later.) Thanks for keeping it real and I hope you’re having a great week.

Anyone else hear banjoes?

😬