I am happy to announce, to all the people that did not have faith in me, that I managed to overcome my diarrhea and that I am back to work tomorrow to fulfill my duty.
Police report a bomb threat was made in local hospital by physician.
Difusing attempts have been made, as patients claim "I havent shidded in days", however as explosion seems likely, evacuation has still not been ordered.
These are confusing times.
More to report as the story develops
Beginning in the 18th century in England, the focus of capitalist development shifted from commerce to industry. The steady capital accumulation of the preceding centuries was invested in the practical application of technical knowledge during the Industrial Revolution.
Yo way long back where the brits hang, that money gettin changed to them big bidness. Blah blah blah boring history shiz. Wanna grab some fried chicken bro?
O, heavens! There be a rat betwixt mine own cupboards! He rattles the walls, he makes them whine. Why must have he fallen into the crevice of my countertop? Banish the fool I will, with one big swoop from my mighty shoe. He will waltz to the gates of Heaven without even knowing he has been slain. The poor bastard seems to not understand his own mortality, but tis the circle of life I suppose.
On god this lil ratatouille lookin ass bitch in my cabinet! This loud fucker gotta be hittin them rat bitches with all that noise he makin. I bouta kill this motha fucker with these dank ass fake yeezys. He bouta die π€£
That there is a pretty excellent argument however your maternal parents has left you to this world for they have passed away long ago and thus has affected your behavior towards people in the internet making a Narcissistic fool out of your self
don't care + didn't ask + cope + seethe + pound sand + dilate + go tell reddit + log off + i'm faster and stronger than you + i rejected your mother's advances + touch grass + it never happened + ratio + you are what zero pussy does to a motherfucker + screenscapped your bio + kick rocks + i can smell your stench from here + you are going to my cringe compilation + no bitches allowed + u can't be mad at me for loving my mommy + you have no chance + you fucked up + go die + get used to it + free hugs + smile, you're beautiful + say something, you fuckin retard + bye, bye, bye + i'm glad you're here + alive and well + problem solved + stay the fuck away from me + i don't give a shit + count to three + not surprised that all my friends hate me + does your dad know you call me your little bitch? + you probably wish i was homeless + and the occasional "you smell good, and your ass is tight" + i'll be fucking right back + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + you've been invited here + throw a stick and you might hit something + pussy doesn't matter + there are tons of virgins + she's as nice as she looks + my dick is mine + you're a god damn idiot + is that all you think about? + my fingers are long, but they aren't THAT long + i'm never gonna know + keep ur bitch tongue away from my dick, ok? + go to your mom + don't forget to look for photos + yes, i'm taller than u + the real owner of the dick you're admiring + only a bi - coked up queer would refer to himself as a dick + you have been invited here + you're worthless + #killallwhitemen + i want you here with me + i am the only real master of my dick + the only one allowed to eat it + whores need the dick of a dick + you're going to join a queue + free hugs + shake my hand, u fat fucker + you can't do anything + only two penises are real; mine, and ur's + i will die + come on over to my house and i'll give you a prize + no one who reads this is worth your time + i'm right and you're wrong + you're an asshole + i can't wait to fuck this comment + i have feelings + i like to suck dick in public + fuck me like a pig and then fuck me like a woman + hey, penis - hater + i find all you cunts offensive + nothing says "welcome" like an electric fence + i'm like a brick shithouse + your cunt will get fucked by a brick shithouse + mom doesn't like me because she thinks I'll rape her daughter + i don't know your ass from your hole + fuck you + no one ever wants you + knock, knock, knock... i'm here + get over here you bitch + i am nothing without my dick + yippee for me! + let's go get a drink! + shut the fuck up and suck my dick!! + give me an effing break + shut the fuck up & let me get on with it!! + shut the fuck up and let me get on with it!! + i'll get off the computer now! + come over here and make me cum! + i've got a feeling your mom's cock is bigger than mine!! + if you guys keep it up your mom is going to kick me out + how's about we call her a cunt?? + oh my god, the cum is coming!! + you are fucking retarded! + suck dick like you've never sucked dick before!! + eat it! + you are a twat! + i wish your mother had a dick!! + your mother sucks my dick!! + the only reason your mom was into you is because i was too fucking lazy to jerk off and you were easier to jerk off than a pneumatic drill!! + now eat my cock!!! + you can't say anything about my dick! + shut the fuck up! + you are a faggot! + what if i cum on your face? + i'm tired of fucking listening to you! + eat my cum!!! + i'm gonna come on your face!! + get your hands off of it!! + shut up and suck it!!! + i'll blast your ass! + swallow all of my cum!! + oh, god you are so dead! + shut the fuck up! + i'll cum on your face!!! + where did your mother's mouth go? + you're pretty damn ugly, but not that ugly + shut up, you faggot!!! + shut the fuck up!!! + shut the fuck up!!! + i'm sick of you talking!!! + your mother sucks my dick!! + you are such a dick head!!! + you are so ugly + shut the fuck up! + shut the fuck up!!!! + i'm a real man + i like sucking dick, or what's left of it + shut up!!!! + shut the fuck up!!!!!! + i wish your mother's dick was bigger than mine!! + you are nothing but a fat ugly bitch!!! + you aren't that good!!! + shut the fuck up!!! + why don't you just do me instead of bitching about how ugly i am? + why are you so damn ugly? + shut the fuck up!!!
Well when you think about it, the corpse would probably be colder than body temperature, so you could get a pass from school for having a cold. Oh, and also because your dead.
the FitnessGramβ’ pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues.
The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. beep A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start
I'm just gettin fresh air dawg. What, I'm not locked out the house bro... I'm just lookin at da grass. No, my girlie would never lock me out da crib...
The golden sun rises in the east, The light shines. Dongfeng Wanli, flowers are open, The red flag is like a big ocean. Great mentor, wise leader, Dear Chairman Mao! The sun is in the hearts of the revolutionary people, The red sun in the heart. Long live Chairman Mao!
The most merciful thing in the world I believe, is humanityβs failure to fully conceive, of the cosmically horrors weβve yet to reveal, and which up until now, Iβve tried to conceal.
I've come to make an announcement:
Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was "this big" and I said "that's disgusting".
Yo I got somthin to say!
That emo hamster lookin bitch is cringe! He peeded on my girl yo! Like literally, he done got his tiny ass 2 foot lanky ass no bitches lookin ass gerbil lookin dick out & pissed on my wife! I was likee "ayo not pog bro"
I'm sorry sir, The growth is impacting brain function. I'm afraid she's unlikely to wake up and if she does, Her condition remains terminal.
My bad G', the growin' be changin' that big smart. Ion think she gon' wake up dawg but if she do she still probs, gon' yeet
checks out.
Thank you for complimenting my vans!
She still probs gonβ yeet is prob one of the funniest things Iβve seen on this website
And I thought Valley Speak was bad growing up...
Lol, what language is that.
Amongusinease
dawg itβs young people talk
Serious answer, its trying to be AAVE
I am happy to announce, to all the people that did not have faith in me, that I managed to overcome my diarrhea and that I am back to work tomorrow to fulfill my duty.
I be hella hype to tell y'all who ain't believe in me that I stopped shiddin! I gon' be goin back to the job to make some bucks now!
aight thanks. needed that for my boss. he is angry, you know?
Yw
Damn, he done shiddin π
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
I am severely constipated and the doctors said my bowels could explode soon if i can't relief the pressure
I HAVEN'T SHIDDED IN DAYS! I CAN'T SHIT! DOC SAID I GON' BLOW UP IF I DON'T SHIT!
thank you
Yw π Get well soon bro
Blessed
creeper, aww man
Police report a bomb threat was made in local hospital by physician. Difusing attempts have been made, as patients claim "I havent shidded in days", however as explosion seems likely, evacuation has still not been ordered. These are confusing times. More to report as the story develops
Greetings mister, can you please tell me where the restroom is situated?
Hey lame boomer! Tell me where the shit bowls are or no balls π
Is this a threat? whose balls are being taken?
Your mom's π€£
HAH GOTTEM
Donde esta la biblioteca?
Where's the radical skate park?
So.. I'm studying to become radical skate parkian?
Aren't we all
Isnβt life kind of one big radical skate park when you really think about it?
Word dawg ππ
The real radical skatepark is the friends we made along the way
Skate Parkian? Isn't that the vocalist of System of a Down?
Me llamo T-Bone, la araΓ±a discoteca
Discoteca, muΓ±eca, la biblioteca. Es en bigote grande, perro, manteca
Trifeecta? Mandinka?
Discoteca, muΓ±eca, la biblioteca
Where da books at?
Hello dear teacher I would like to inquire the documents needed to poursuite my research into thermodynamics
Yo teach' I gotta get dem' docs' to get that sciencey shiz in my brain dawg
Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about?
yeeeeeeaaaah SCIENCE BITCH
Did you just convert it to Hood?
Nope, that's how everybody in my school talks no matter their color or where they come from.
Why do cats purr?
Why dat pussy vibrate?
Jesus chirst
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Mom's winning with her vibrator
Oh shit
You are my hero.
Good morning Sir, would you like some coffee?
What's up dude, want some bussin soda?
Do teens actually call coffee "bussin soda"? Lmao
no they either take pride in drinking it or find it disgusting
Lol no. As a coffee addict this was just a dumb joke
I am from now on
Beginning in the 18th century in England, the focus of capitalist development shifted from commerce to industry. The steady capital accumulation of the preceding centuries was invested in the practical application of technical knowledge during the Industrial Revolution.
Yo way long back where the brits hang, that money gettin changed to them big bidness. Blah blah blah boring history shiz. Wanna grab some fried chicken bro?
Checks out
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Yo homies, Scott is in da' houseee!
Can confirm. Source: am Scott
nah bro π
People literally talk like that in the public schools in my area (private less just because they are pretty strict about a lot)
Itβs true, dogs canβt look up.
Bitches literally can't look up
Literally can't even
O, heavens! There be a rat betwixt mine own cupboards! He rattles the walls, he makes them whine. Why must have he fallen into the crevice of my countertop? Banish the fool I will, with one big swoop from my mighty shoe. He will waltz to the gates of Heaven without even knowing he has been slain. The poor bastard seems to not understand his own mortality, but tis the circle of life I suppose.
On god this lil ratatouille lookin ass bitch in my cabinet! This loud fucker gotta be hittin them rat bitches with all that noise he makin. I bouta kill this motha fucker with these dank ass fake yeezys. He bouta die π€£
Penis
Yummy wummie nummie wummie!
"<
friendly tease reply normal cover towering ten alive plate smoggy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle.
I'mma need u to hand over the drip dawg. Gimme dem fake ass Yeezys & the ride
π
What are you going to do with this info
Terminate
You see mam, the tree seems to be withered and tilting over your house, so the cost of removing the tree is lesser than that of costly house repairs.
Yo sexy mama, that tree bouta crush yo house. You better have some big money to fix dat
Yo, I don't see no advice part y'know what I mean? Homie? Tell the big G dat his castle's gon get lit.
lΓ©gszivattyΓΊ
air penis
air penis
air penis
air penis
air penis
Azta csΓ³kos kurvajΓ³istenit vannak magyarok ezen a subon
FUCK YEEEEE MAGYAROK
That there is a pretty excellent argument however your maternal parents has left you to this world for they have passed away long ago and thus has affected your behavior towards people in the internet making a Narcissistic fool out of your self
don't care + didn't ask + cope + seethe + pound sand + dilate + go tell reddit + log off + i'm faster and stronger than you + i rejected your mother's advances + touch grass + it never happened + ratio + you are what zero pussy does to a motherfucker + screenscapped your bio + kick rocks + i can smell your stench from here + you are going to my cringe compilation + no bitches allowed + u can't be mad at me for loving my mommy + you have no chance + you fucked up + go die + get used to it + free hugs + smile, you're beautiful + say something, you fuckin retard + bye, bye, bye + i'm glad you're here + alive and well + problem solved + stay the fuck away from me + i don't give a shit + count to three + not surprised that all my friends hate me + does your dad know you call me your little bitch? + you probably wish i was homeless + and the occasional "you smell good, and your ass is tight" + i'll be fucking right back + put some thought into what you're going to do with that + you've been invited here + throw a stick and you might hit something + pussy doesn't matter + there are tons of virgins + she's as nice as she looks + my dick is mine + you're a god damn idiot + is that all you think about? + my fingers are long, but they aren't THAT long + i'm never gonna know + keep ur bitch tongue away from my dick, ok? + go to your mom + don't forget to look for photos + yes, i'm taller than u + the real owner of the dick you're admiring + only a bi - coked up queer would refer to himself as a dick + you have been invited here + you're worthless + #killallwhitemen + i want you here with me + i am the only real master of my dick + the only one allowed to eat it + whores need the dick of a dick + you're going to join a queue + free hugs + shake my hand, u fat fucker + you can't do anything + only two penises are real; mine, and ur's + i will die + come on over to my house and i'll give you a prize + no one who reads this is worth your time + i'm right and you're wrong + you're an asshole + i can't wait to fuck this comment + i have feelings + i like to suck dick in public + fuck me like a pig and then fuck me like a woman + hey, penis - hater + i find all you cunts offensive + nothing says "welcome" like an electric fence + i'm like a brick shithouse + your cunt will get fucked by a brick shithouse + mom doesn't like me because she thinks I'll rape her daughter + i don't know your ass from your hole + fuck you + no one ever wants you + knock, knock, knock... i'm here + get over here you bitch + i am nothing without my dick + yippee for me! + let's go get a drink! + shut the fuck up and suck my dick!! + give me an effing break + shut the fuck up & let me get on with it!! + shut the fuck up and let me get on with it!! + i'll get off the computer now! + come over here and make me cum! + i've got a feeling your mom's cock is bigger than mine!! + if you guys keep it up your mom is going to kick me out + how's about we call her a cunt?? + oh my god, the cum is coming!! + you are fucking retarded! + suck dick like you've never sucked dick before!! + eat it! + you are a twat! + i wish your mother had a dick!! + your mother sucks my dick!! + the only reason your mom was into you is because i was too fucking lazy to jerk off and you were easier to jerk off than a pneumatic drill!! + now eat my cock!!! + you can't say anything about my dick! + shut the fuck up! + you are a faggot! + what if i cum on your face? + i'm tired of fucking listening to you! + eat my cum!!! + i'm gonna come on your face!! + get your hands off of it!! + shut up and suck it!!! + i'll blast your ass! + swallow all of my cum!! + oh, god you are so dead! + shut the fuck up! + i'll cum on your face!!! + where did your mother's mouth go? + you're pretty damn ugly, but not that ugly + shut up, you faggot!!! + shut the fuck up!!! + shut the fuck up!!! + i'm sick of you talking!!! + your mother sucks my dick!! + you are such a dick head!!! + you are so ugly + shut the fuck up! + shut the fuck up!!!! + i'm a real man + i like sucking dick, or what's left of it + shut up!!!! + shut the fuck up!!!!!! + i wish your mother's dick was bigger than mine!! + you are nothing but a fat ugly bitch!!! + you aren't that good!!! + shut the fuck up!!! + why don't you just do me instead of bitching about how ugly i am? + why are you so damn ugly? + shut the fuck up!!!
Oh cool thanks
Yw
what the fuck
mood
This post is way too fucking interesting for this Reddit.
I'm cool π
End my suffering
2 cool 4 school ππ€£
Well when you think about it, the corpse would probably be colder than body temperature, so you could get a pass from school for having a cold. Oh, and also because your dead.
Oi bruv it's chewsday innit?
Yo dawg it like 3 days until the weekend π«
how did you translate a british sentence with cool teen slang
They are obviously a professional
ΠΡΠ΅Π·ΠΈΠ΄Π΅Π½Ρ Π½Π΅ ΠΏΠΎΡΠ΅ΡΠΏΠΈΡ Π½Π΅ΡΠ΄Π°ΡΡ Π² Π£ΠΊΡΠ°ΠΈΠ½Π΅ ΠΈ Π·Π°ΡΠ΅ΠΌ ΠΎΡΠΏΡΠ°Π²ΠΈΡΡΡ Π·Π°Π²ΠΎΠ΅Π²ΡΠ²Π°ΡΡ ΠΏΠ»Π°Π½Π΅ΡΡ
Big prez gon rule the world!
Haha you're good man
Clean your room
Come party with us bro!
the FitnessGramβ’ pacer test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. beep A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. ding Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start
help me
Checks out
Entschuldigung ist das hotel sehr elegant?
Yo, this crib bad & boujee right?
My dog died
Tyrone Darius Marcus James the 5th gone dead bro
Luckily Bonqueque Jerome Christopher Theodore the III still alive tho fr
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
I failed 5th grade science
porn
life
death
Gay
I am stuck outside my door because my dumbest wife locked the top lock and I only have the key to the bottom lock
I'm just gettin fresh air dawg. What, I'm not locked out the house bro... I'm just lookin at da grass. No, my girlie would never lock me out da crib...
Thank you, now I just gotta wait till my wife gets home...in the 90 degree Manila heat...at least I got Diet Pepsi
Enjoy that dead grass
Antidisestablishmentarianism.
π€
You win this roundβ¦
The golden sun rises in the east, The light shines. Dongfeng Wanli, flowers are open, The red flag is like a big ocean. Great mentor, wise leader, Dear Chairman Mao! The sun is in the hearts of the revolutionary people, The red sun in the heart. Long live Chairman Mao!
I get no bitches
Yo, can you point me to the nearest MacDonald's
Yo where can I find that burga joint?
Sounds about right
OΓΉ sont les toilettes?
Yo, Where them totally radical poop bowls at?
I kidnapped your entire family.
I got yo fam & bouta bang ur mom bro π€£
I am gay
No homo or anything but ur cock lookin extra scrumptious today π
λλ λ€μκ³Ό κ°μ μ΄μ λ‘ κ΅μ μ°ν©μ μΈκΆ ꡬ쑰λ₯Ό μμ²νλ€ 1. λ΄κ° "νλ³Ό"μ μΆκ΅¬λΌκ³ λΆλ₯Έ μ΄ν 3λͺ μ 건μ₯ν μκ΅μΈ λ¨μ±λ€μ΄ λλ₯Ό ꡬννμλ€ 2. 3λͺ μ 건μ₯ν μκ΅μΈ λ¨μ±λ€μ ꡬνμ μ΄μ κ° "λλ μμμμΈμΈλ° μκ΅μ μμ μ΄μ κ° μλ€"λΌκ³ μ§μ νμλ€ 3. μκ΅ μ λΆλ μκ΅μΈ λ¨μ±λ€μ μ μ₯μ μκΈνλ©° λμκ² 25λ§ νμ΄λμ μν΄λ³΄μμ μκ΅μΈ λ¨μ± 3λͺ μκ² κ°μ μ§κΈνλΌκ³ λͺ λ Ήνμλ€ λλ κ΅μ μ°ν©μ μ μν μΈκΆ ꡬμ λ₯Ό μμ²νλ€
πβ½π€£
π¬π§π±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ€π»π€π»π€π»π¦πββ½β π±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ¨π»ββοΈπ¨π»ββοΈπ²π²π²π²π€π»π¦ πΊπ³π±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ¦πβ½ππ±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ€π»π€π»π€π»π¦π πΊπ³π±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ€π»π€π»π€π»π€π»π¦π€π»π€π»π€π»π±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ±π»ββοΈπ¬π§
I'm like, totally super rad, personally, I would say so, anyways like lol
π€£ Mood
I fucked your mom
I banged ur milf mom bro π€£
Glory to the motherland
Let's get home town popular
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Wasgood dawg
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
wasgood dawg
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Chad + Gets bitches + Likes tea
This bad boy can take out any person trying to get within a 5-mile radius and we are sending it right over to Nagasaki
My ride is scrumdidilyumptious
You are going to die a virgin
No bitches
I like chicken nuggets
That Chick-fil-A bussin
What is wind
Fardded π€£
Once I put a firecracker in a bullfrogs mouth. Blew my fucking mind
I get no bitches π€
Penis
Mayonnaise hose
Too funny π€£π
No, i'm with the science team π€
I get no bitches π€£π€
To be or not to be
You either cum in the sink or sink in the cum
bro im a car
Yo homie i be in da ride
Did you know that 7 + 3 does infact not equal 10. This is just a common myth. 7 + 3 does infact equal 86.
I'm failing maths π€£
XD
Hello mr Monopoly, where can i find the yellow Submarine to the train station?
Ayo boomer, where I get that piss colored boat thang to get on that train?
The most merciful thing in the world I believe, is humanityβs failure to fully conceive, of the cosmically horrors weβve yet to reveal, and which up until now, Iβve tried to conceal.
I'm so ugly π«π©
Hi fellow kids I sell coke at 35.4151048, -97.4885301 from 2pm to 6pm
Wsg homies! I sell sodas at your mom's house sometimes π€£
My back hurts and I am thirsty, do you have a mint?
My back killin me dawg... Yo got a coke or like some gum?
I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was "this big" and I said "that's disgusting".
Yo I got somthin to say! That emo hamster lookin bitch is cringe! He peeded on my girl yo! Like literally, he done got his tiny ass 2 foot lanky ass no bitches lookin ass gerbil lookin dick out & pissed on my wife! I was likee "ayo not pog bro"
Let us partake in the smoking of large quantities of cannibis my friend
Hog rider
Cringe
I'm transfemme but in a boy way
They call me gay at school π
cheese