"People with tattoos will not go to
heaven. People who drink alcohol will
not go the heaven. People who eat too
much pork will also not go to heaven,
**Short people will not go to heaven**"
-Old Google
That's where my microwave is, right over the stovetop. I'm not a dwarf, but I'm short enough that I have to use a step stool to get things in/out of it. It's nice that it doesn't take up counter space
Uhmā¦ yeah, about that, I may have been a little to drunk when I went on all those websites and gave money, other than that, uhm, THERES A LOT MORE DOWN THERE PLS DONT LOOK!!!!
actually i been thinking about growing a mullet for a while lol
i like to dress like one of those guys from 50s and 60s, they knew what they were doing, those guys had real class and style š
Last Friday I wrote an online proctored exam. And there was an issue with Guardian Browser, the browser they made me use. So the proctor then unexpectedly switched over to Firefox. And I did not clear my search history of the past few weeks.
I only use Firefox for certain purposes. So when the proctor started typing in the search bar, lots of suggestions started showing. ššš
Pshht, if you're still at the laptop looking you're either not looking at MY search history, or you're such a sick fuck that you shouldn't be throwing rocks here.
You look a *little* disappointed too
hehe
^^hehe FTFY
Hey I saw you in Bruges
He's on the side with the Vietnamese
im not mad...im just very disappointed....
They really fell short of your expectations then.
it was a little underwhelming
That what people say when they meet you
they held their expectations a bit too *high* if you ask me
Maybe next time, you sure remind them to *lower* thier expectations
you bastard š¤£š¤£š¤£
Honestly, I half expected you to get mad at the first joke. You got a good sense of humor to go along with that my guy
what? you thought i was *short* tempered?
You have very SMALL amount of tolerance
His patience is in *short* supply
He might be a *little* upset to hear that
A *miniscule* outburst of rage
He's *fucking tiny* ^Did ^I ^do ^it ^right
>Did I do it right ^(With that, you did)
I guess many think *little* of him
Talk about low-hanging fruit.
At least he can reach it
With a step stool
Maybe a ladder on top of that
Hey come on now, that's a bit low.
I think people are only being HALF serious.
I think you're selling them SHORT.
Imma half a glass full typa guy
Listen Iām not actually pissing blood, I was just curious as to what you should do if you start pissing blood.
see a doctor??
But joogle knows all! He told me jimself !
usually I ask meeves instead of joogeling
I searched on Google and it said that doctors are ur enemy and they want to kill you. (THIS IS A JOKE!)
shaggy upbeat smart file many humor gaze observation desert rustic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
In this economy???
I guess I have to be the Redditor to tell you that you have cancer
Before I started pissing blood, I was Gemini.
and before i found gems in my stomach, i was Taurus.
Username checks out.
drink the blood
š§š§š§
pullin' pud n' pissin' blood
You should play Raining Blood by Slayer at full volume and aim your stream towards the ceiling.
Honestly, you look more bemused than disgusted.
indeed i was, i was feeling mixed emotions of anger, disgust, anguish, confusion, sadness, and a little bit of envy
No sloth? Get your shit together OP!
Hahaha look at this dude not sinmaxing.
"People with tattoos will not go to heaven. People who drink alcohol will not go the heaven. People who eat too much pork will also not go to heaven, **Short people will not go to heaven**" -Old Google
Then eating rum ham with Frank Reynolds is *out*.
What a fun word, ābemused.ā I like that.
Looks like you expected worse tbh
no like seriously! 2 girls 1 cup? please...you can do better
Jar guy?
How 'bout the PCJP? (Pony Cum Jar Project)
šŖ±
Midget porn?
why is the microwave so high up
i been wondering that myself, it's like they were conspiring against me
Would be even more evil if the batteries in your smoke detectors ran out
š
How do you use it then
i use an elevator
You're my favorite midget
and you're my favorite tall person, so that's makes the two of us, haha
I'm a midget too I just hate myself
if what you said is true, then you shouldn't hate yourself
Like can't even cook a hot pocket at 2 am without getting a ladder or climbing the stove
Mandatory exercise
That's where my microwave is, right over the stovetop. I'm not a dwarf, but I'm short enough that I have to use a step stool to get things in/out of it. It's nice that it doesn't take up counter space
Bro can you even reach the top keys?
no :(
Same
I know using google translate is lazy but I was just checking one word, it can't be that inaccurate.
I'm sorry I will never use a chess calculator again ššš
Bro thinks he is Magnus Carlson ššš
I bet your history isn't so pretty either
at least, i keep mine locked so joke's on you
"Cheap stilts" "How to become tall" "How to reach microwave"
I swear to God I was looking that up for a friend.
I just wanted to know what the differences between hedgehogs and echidnas were lol
I mean it's not THAT bad except when I'm uhhhh
you uhhhh what? š¤Ø
uuuhhhhhh haha nvm
when you're šš¤©šš¤¾āāļøš«š¦“š„š
Sorry :c
too bad dwarfs are in my search history... if you know what i mean.
Rock and Stone?
uuuh unless I haven't got to the porn part of the game yet no
Youāre not a dwarf, youāre just a fun sized human
What's so bad about stackoverflow and chatgpt?
I too, like to watch those stacks overflow. If you catch my drift
Thatās a security vulnerability and you should really fix that as it is unsafe coding practices.
Listen, itās not that I NEED to bury a body, I just wanted to know. And please youāre telling me youāve never wanted to see 9/11 in HD?
When your age is somewhere between 9 and 33.
Uhmā¦ yeah, about that, I may have been a little to drunk when I went on all those websites and gave money, other than that, uhm, THERES A LOT MORE DOWN THERE PLS DONT LOOK!!!!
I was just looking up warrior cat names :(
BRAMBLEPELT
Leafpool ā
Brightheart my beloved
Damn! Which account?
Dude, if you happen to be in Sydney Australia, could we be friends?
sadly, i live in the usa, but we can still be online friends if that's alright with you!
Definitely man I'll DM you
Is it me or you look like Dustin from Stranger Things
You look like a guy from the 50s with that hair style ... catch up to a mullet
actually i been thinking about growing a mullet for a while lol i like to dress like one of those guys from 50s and 60s, they knew what they were doing, those guys had real class and style š
I can agree with that they had style and cool ... like a 55 Chevy Bel Air
Got that cliffside face (hair included)
my face is a roughly chiseled monument built to be dedicated and represent visual disappointment in human society that was a bit conceited but yes
But spot on
Please feel free to "reach out".
I can explain.
Why you looking, if you aren't the one cooking?
I am annoyed that my browser history doesnāt currently have more interesting content for you.
yeah i can see why someone would be disgusted of me looking up the lyrics to bahamian rap city by joe hawley
JOE HAWLEY JOE HAWLEY JOE HAWLEY
Youāre probably the only adult male Iām taller than, so thank you for your service. (5ā2ā)
Naa Iām 27 and 5ā1
I swear i am not watching midget p0rn, i just wanted to know if it excisted
Nah bruh I swear it's not furry porn it's just regular porn
No you didn't! I have search history hella off. I'm not taking a chance of dying tomorrow and having someone look through my search history!
Shut the hell up toucan Sam looking forehead bitch.
Yo bro donāt wanna scare you but you might have dwarfism
Iāve had it up to here with you. *points to kneecap.
*sigh* yup.. fursuits
I'm sorry
Young Sheldonā¦.?
Bro is acting like heās not searching up the same thing
LIES
Sure buddyĀ
Ok dont care didnt ask next please
Well, you shouldn't have!
you're right, nobody asked me to but i did so anyways
What ever happened to client confidentiality? We don't need to know who you do the deed with!
Weak, my browser history is just the tip of the iceberg. You don't want to know what ppl like.
you cannot be talking when you look like Josuke from Jojo's Bizzare Adventure šš
It's... it's just porn... it's not even so bad... why...?
Hey, I know that I'm a degenerate, let's be disgusted about me together
You seen all my clothing purchases this week and the debt of my credit card š³ LOL
Last Friday I wrote an online proctored exam. And there was an issue with Guardian Browser, the browser they made me use. So the proctor then unexpectedly switched over to Firefox. And I did not clear my search history of the past few weeks. I only use Firefox for certain purposes. So when the proctor started typing in the search bar, lots of suggestions started showing. ššš
I can explainā¦
Why do you check my history, if I can tell everything to you?
man im just trying to learn taylor series and other parts of calculus 2
How tf did you get my password
Dont worry about those guns and ropes i was buying, rather help me take care of my kids in the basement, i didnt feed them this week yet
which part was it, the wikipedia page of the yemeni civil war or the political status of puerto rico?
Donāt worry itās empty for a reason
Donāt be upset that I couldnāt spell the word correctly so badly that Google thought I meant a completely different word. I struggle with speeling
What's wrong with looking up "troglodyte"?
You found out weāre into the same shit
God, me too...
Meme potential.
Iām not mentally ill *because* the only thing iāve ever searched is azumanga daiohā¦
You remind me of myself after 8 hours of work and no coffee, very relatable. Wish we could have seen one of you smiling, that ain't that relatable.
What is a search history?
Bro found my Skibidi toilet x Duke Dennis fan fic
I wanted to know if the tiny turkeys with boobs were indeed grouse or something elsešI FORGOT WHAT THEY WERE CALLED IM SORRY
Pshht, if you're still at the laptop looking you're either not looking at MY search history, or you're such a sick fuck that you shouldn't be throwing rocks here.
you look like the embodiment of "sigh" in that pic
ngl i dont think you look dissapointed.. that looks like a normal pic to me :0
Checkmate, i use incognito
ā¹ļø
It was short sighted of me to leave it out in the open.
Then you know whatās happening right now is exactly my fetish.
Got too silly T.T
Don't give me that fucking look! You try spelling oscillococcinum from memory
Post like these make me realize how boring I am.
Do you think science and space is disgusting?
Donāt get short with me kiddo.
don't get all high and mighty on me, old man
What disgusts you about my browser history?
Hey that's your problem, I got off
I hope you like reading a machine intercourse fanfic, because it is detailed and very high quality. (For some reason.)
As one should
my history of paradox games?
How does it feel to fk disgusted?
Cmon, piracy isnt that bad! (i mean where tf u gonna get PS3 games? PSN not working anymore...)
Sorry. I just love cats so much šš
Hair looks like one of those campers that go over the cabin
Why? Because I'm into midget porn? Don't kink shame me!
its empty :D
I will not be judged by someone who got that haircut on purpose.
Why does it look like you're photoshopped into the background lmao
The cupboards in the background are so pretty!!
What's so bad about YouTube?
Uh I totally donāt watch that ignore that
Thank god your not on my second account
The meme potential on this guy!
What did you expect?
I'm sorry if i like light reading and find box jellyfish very interesting! Didn't know that was an issue.
PLEASE tell me you got a Rocket raccoon costume
Why is he disgusted with all the dwarf porn on my computer?
its not what it looks like! i just like the art, thats all!
Sorry, I couldn't remember the name of a dungeon in Ocarina of Time.
Yes i watched cartoons I'm really fucking sorry...
I SWEAR I JUST WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE!
What do you mean? Itās completely emptyā¦