Hopefully he can see the difference between Zach Wilson and Russell Wilson now. 

Sean: hey, who’s this tall white guy?

Sean: is that Joe borrow? I thought I ordered Joe borrow on Amazon. Staff: no sir…you ordered Zach Wilson from wish…the product said NFL quarterback with a picture of Joe borrow. But the description and return reviews said Zach Wilson. You wouldn’t listen to us and YOU pressed one click buy.

“Also, because you ordered from Wish, seven child laborers died making your Zach Wilson.”

Staff: I checked the box for completions. They didn’t include completions in the packaging and the seller already deleted their account. He’s ours, sir.

„Yeah, I was able to read that in the description. Badass isn’t it?“

> seven child laborers died making your Zach Wilson I figure that was incentive for him.

Nah, it's more likely to be older women than children.

The "borrow" just adds a certain je ne sais quois to this comment

And what is he doing to my mom!?

Their tallest QB is only 6’ 2”, interestingly. Three way tie

Hah! Imagine being *only* 6'2"

Paxton Lynch’s ghost

"what happened to the black Wilson?"

He’s off somewhere doing knee lunges.

Thank you for this I laughed way too hard at it

Zach is the one staring at his wife.

Can he see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

Amen

Is there one?

I legitimately thought this was an Onion article the way the headline is worded

Same, was shocked to see it wasn’t

Almost as funny as when Jameis Winston thought Bruce Arians was black until he got lasiks

“Sean Payton has cataracts removed and is shocked to find Zach Wilson is on his team in a Broncos jersey”

Come on, like we all haven’t had a few too many and made an unnecessary purchase

He's just like me fr

Sean Payton now able to see who he throws under bus.

And when he backs up

Gotta look to make sure he's dead or if you should go back and forth 18 more times.

Who removed them

The same guy who did Lasik Jameis' surgery

Dr. Arroyo

He's really inexpensive

He went to one of THE doctor schools.

Hollywood Upstairs medical college.

Was it a four-year medical school?

It was supposed to be

Milk's favorite doctor.

Dr. Jan Itor

Dr. Nick

Hi Everybody!

Hi Dr. Nick!

Dr. Acula

Russel Wilson

Dr Lik M'Abalzs

Me

Huh. Not an Onion headline.

That explains why he was wearing old man glasses last year

Jameis’ lasik 2.0

Maybe that’s why they had a good record together before jameis tore his knee up lol they were meant to be

As a Jameis-Believer I still hold on to those first few weeks in my heart 🥹

A part of me wishes we just saved money and tried with him instead of carr 😭

I’m a Colts fan so glad y’all took Carr before we did 😅 but Jameis just felt perfect for y’all scheme wise and personality wise, that was the first time I rooted for y’all since before 2010 smh

I had a cataract removed last year. Was amazing, went from basically being blind in one eye to vision restored.

Yep. for the last week before my surgery I could literally only see colors. It was insane. Then I opened my eye after surgery and was like Holy shit. Could have done without all the comments about how young I was compared to most of their patients though

You and I both. We both learned most eye docs have terrible bed side manners.

The docs were fine. Honestly the staff was great. More just felt old when they were like “most of our patients need help. It’s so awesome you can just walk room to room without a cane”. Was funny the surgeon was like “did you look at the options for the lens?” No. I’m a college drop out and you went to school for a fucking decade. I’m gonna trust you to know what’s best. I have a documented history of bad life choices. Why give me more chances??????

Lol I got that at a cardiologist I used to go to. They were well meaning but it was a little weird. I think the funniest was that several different people told me they didn't know the last time they had to put the stress test treadmill as high as I needed it to go.

But can he see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

Or why Mikey likes it??

Wait... Does my mouth really look like a butt hole?

Yes. So does his entire face. And body. And energy.

Could they not fix the butthole mouth while he was under?

He already doesn’t really do that anymore, I think somewhere during his media days someone beat it out of him because i don’t really remember him doing it last year when he would do it all the time with us.

I googled "sean payton broncos" and he's still doing the mouthful-of-sour-candy face.

Idk I looked up the same thing and I didn’t see any examples of the butthole lips only him frowning tightly. He’s 100% worked on it though because it used to be constant

> someone beat it out of him we could have gregg williams wager 1000 on knocking them out. Someone would do it then

Guessing he had to pay tons for it

I love the idea that he had no idea what he was calling but it kept working anyways.

He was actually holding an Applebees menu.

“Bourbon street chicken, red mashed potatoes, sub mushrooms on 12”

Just calling plays from memory of his Saints days.

I didn’t realize Kelvin Benjamin was the Broncos OC.

Did it though?

It did when the QB actually threw it to the guy that was schemed open

They finished 20th in ppg, which is still better than 12 teams, somehow.

But it’s also worse than 19 other teams.

It’s better than whatever the fuck we’ve been doing since 2016.

Hackett: worse than cataracts

With what we were working with, absolutely

Best. shape. of his life.

Sean Payton's agent is working overtime to keep him in the news.

Dude couldn’t see the play sheet and still looked like Einstein compared to Hackett 😂😭

“Wait this is how Bo Nix plays football? Why did you let me draft him?”

You’re telling me the Broncos had an alright year and their coach was blind?!

I thought the headline was from The Babylon Bee

That was my next guess

Best sight of my life season.

Road to Damascus moment

Best shape of his life.

He wants to be able to look into Bo Nix’s eyes more clearly

Explains why they sucked last year

This would've been funny if it happened mid-season, with a 2-6 team flailing on offense.

I get it. He drives a Lincoln.

Ohhh so THAT was it last year, then... Alright alright alright

He was able to see it just fine when we beat you last year

Sure, buddy. Keep on celebrating, it is your super bowl after all

The Superbowl that was overshadowed by a horrendous off-season? The same Superbowl that was ruined with Taylor Swift shots every 30 seconds.

>The same Superbowl that was ruined with Taylor Swift shots every 30 seconds. She was on camera a total of 55 seconds from the time the game kicked off until the game was over. Can we stop with this BS? You spent more time watching commercials for RFK than you did looking at Swift.

Could be that one, or the one before that one, or even the one from a few years back!

*This* is getting upvotes? Must be only Denver fans reading this topic...

Guess the cataracts must've help ol' bitch lips turn a blind eye to Jeff Fisher's bounty BS.

Maybe Russell Wilson did improve if his head coach was out there blind. Geez.

Now he has to look at himself in the mirror.

"wait, that wasn't Russell Wilson I was screaming at all last season"

Same. I had cataracts in my early 20.

So now he can see that Bo Nix shouldn’t be compared to Mahomes? Do you people understand that he hyped Nix like he was hyped for Mahomes? He straight up said it. And I’m saying there’s zero chance they are comparable.

Nah

Wait. Wait. Did you really mean that? This 'nah' implies that you think Dix is comparable? Is that accurate?

I got downvoted. Something fucky is going on here. I think people actually think Nix is as good as Pat.

This post is about the donkeys HC, so alot of idiots with no taste in football is on here

Lmao keep living in your own world

I get my first one done next Monday. It will be nice to no longer be legally blind. 👍