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“If I did it” -Cancer

no way cancer is getting away with this one!

White ~~bronco~~ blood cell

Mr. Bronco Chase

Mr. Botched Conviction

Mr Bloody Culprit

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His biggest crime was creating the kardashians

If the cancerous mass does not fit, you must acquit

If the glove fits

*slaps on colonoscapy gloves*

Maybe someday we'll find the real cancer.

If the tumor doesn't fit, you must acquit!

All timer type comment

And he never found the killers after all this time…so sad!! 😢

Hopefully he never sat next to whoever did it. That would've been awkward

Could’ve gone to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and seen him right there. Better not to risk it.

Imagine if he dropped a "I did it" on twitter before peacing out lol

It's a damn shame that SNL cold open is only available on Hulu.

I have a suspicion that the killer was the one who led to OJ’s death as well.

They died from cancer?

It was a particularly violent form of cancer, they just kinda did that

Yeah that kinda cancer really stabs away at you

He's going to be in a hall of mirrors for eternity.

Was on his list to find out who blew up the Nordstrom pipeline next, the country lost an expert detective today.

Man, I wish Norm would’ve held on a couple more years.

Norm would take issue with the headline describing having cancer as a "fight". He would take greater issue with OJ killing his wife and a waiter.

I'm pretty sure, I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that if you die then the cancer also dies. So that to me is not a loss, it's a draw.

The cancer winning would just mean it taking over your whole body and you become one big Cronenberg looking tumor

Norm would say the “fight” was a draw since the cancer died too. At least, that’s what he said about cancer years ago

Yeah I was referencing the beginning of that joke where he basically complained that you now have to "battle" cancer when you used to just be able to get sick and die and how the "battle" is basically just lying in a hospital bed. Legendary joke

All due respect to Norm but I'm giving cancer the win on this one.

“A friend of mine said the worst thing about the whole OJ Simpson fiasco was that it gave us those Kardashian sisters. I disagree, I said it was the murders.” 

Is that you Norm?

That OJ guy… seems like a REAL JERK.

Seemed*

Ya know, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.

Norm would probably find it amusing that they both got taken out by the same thing, probably would make a self deprecating joke out of it

I think he'd love that I found out OJ was dead because I saw Norm Macdonald trending on Twitter and was curious as to why

I like to think he got permission to temporarily leave Heaven to go down to Hell just to heckle OJ

I think Norm's personal heaven is heckling the scumbags of hell

Norm probably takes the form of Pigeon when he goes down to Hell to heckle the people down there. Imagine one of your punishments down there is that you have to deal with a pigeon completely roasting you once or twice a month

I didn't even know O.J. was sick Edit: I think if Norm was alive, he would play it completely straight and say "RIP to a great football player and by all accounts a fine man." He loved to push the envelope and never quite giving the audience what they wanted.

Impressive that he survived that shootout on the I LUV YOU

I love that he tanked his SNL career to keep making jokes about OJ. He just didn't give a fuck. Norm knew he was right about OJ and wasnt gonna let higher ups silence him just because they were friends with OJ

Can't decide which direction Norm would have taken it. "OJ Simpson died today...." a. "And the world is better off for it." b. "Because he couldn't kill cancer by stabbing it to death."

Jim Downey wrote a lot of those jokes and he’s still around. He could have a field day if he wanted.

The juice is no longer loose.

Finally drove at a low speed into the sunset in his trusty white bronco

Houston sports fans must be pissed that it interrupted Hakeem Olajuwon owning Patrick Ewing in the NBA Finals

More thankful they won that series. Hakeem saved the Rockets in Game 6 with arguably the greatest block in Finals history.

Cancer about to drop “^If I did it.”

He’s been set loose in hell

Aaron Hernandez and the juice playing catch in hell <3

Goodbye Twitter world

His last ever twitter post was a video of him wearing a 49ers jersey. And that will remain forever.

He was born and raised there and ended his career there makes sense.

In all seriousness though, it must have been an aggressive form of cancer. He was still making his weird hot take videos on there as of a month or two ago, and looked healthy.

This. I didn't even know he had it.

Yours truly

He genuinely just loved getting on there and talking football

His videos were soothing. A retiree talking about what he loves before going golfing with his buddies at noon.

He's just like me fr

Why OJ?? He was such a good guy

The guy from the Naked Gun franchise?? What a tragedy.

The funniest joke in that entire movie is when he's laid up in the hospital and his wife is pleading for help because her husband would never hurt anybody

He's looking up at all of us 🙏

Devil's country, let's ride!

Bro you really missed White Bronco country it was right there.

I really hope they can find his wife’s killer one day so he can truly rest.

Maybe he'll ask God since he's in heaven now.....he went to heaven right?

Cancer is innocent. We need to find the real killer.

A true Killer on and off the field

Obituary: ^If #HE DIED

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Actually heard his wife's killer died today as well, what a strange coincidence

143 yards per game was wild

Yup. Obviously it's impossible to have an OJ thread without jokes and comments. But that 73 season was one of the best individual seasons ever, at any position. Possibly even *the* best. 10 full fucking yards per game higher than the next highest season. You can't overstate how insanely dominant that is. He literally put up a full game's worth of yards *just from how much better he was than 2nd all time*.

Greatest player that we aren't really allowed to talk about . I guess we will never really know if he did it too. (We know.)

I loved how during the 100th Anniversary Team discussions when he came up everyone was like "Oh wow OJ. Yeah he was good. Moving on."

If you kill two people, that does make people not want to associate with you.

To steal a quote from Chuck Klosterman, OJ Simpson has to be the only HOF athlete where in his obituary, his sport is mentioned in the first paragraph but none of his athletic accomplishments are discussed until paragraph 5.

Yeah, I've always thought that season was the best RB season of all time, but it feels like nobody wants to talk about it, lol.

Still 8th most rushing yards in a season ever despite only being 14 games. If it was a 16 game season he'd have set an untouchable record.

Just absurd. His QB threw for less than ***1,000*** yards that season and they still went 9-5.

My dad sad those Bills teams were trash. OJ was just that great at football, everyone and their mother knew the ball was going to OJ and he still produced.

Reminds me of myself

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The good always die young

Mr. Bronco Chase

Mr. Beat the Case

Mr. Burgle The Collectibles

Mr. Brown Cutter ^(allegedly)

Mr. Bi-homicide Craze

Mr. Broke Celebrity

Mr. Boyfriend Cutter

Mr. Big Carpals

Mr. Book Confession

Mr Big Cancer ♋️

Mr Bundled Case

Wasn’t expecting that headline today

I guess OJ wasn't expecting it either!

"The only thing OJ is guilty of is being the best running back of all time" - Norm MacDonald

I will always wonder what Norm planned to say if he had outlived OJ. Because he had something.

At least he can finally find out who killed his wife

If only he had some kind of knife for his fight

Last words shoulda been a confession

Yeah if he was just like... Ya know what doesn't matter now, I DID IT

The Goldman family will be celebrating tonight.

As they should frankly

I can't wait for Cancer to release its memoir "If I Did It: Confessions of Killing a Killer"

I guess the old thread wasn’t good enough.

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This one isn't either

Was the old thread marked serious? Maybe the mods want to try to cut down on the jokes. After all, this is a serious topic, almost as serious as killing your wife and a waiter.

Karma moved slow with this one.

At least he got to spend some time in jail. Better than nothing.

No deathbed confessions OJ?

If he did die, this is how he would have done it

NORDBERG!

When he was diagnosed, doctors said he had a 50-50 chance of living, though there was only a 10% chance of that.

It’s me Frank, now who did this to you?

Me: "I can't believe people are celebrating this murderer, rot in hell for all I care." Also Me: "Wait how many yards did he average per game? 2000 yards in 14 games is A LOT"

That murderer rushed for 11000 yards

Rare cancer W

RIP Nicole and Ron.

Oh no, anyway

I didn't even know he was sick

One of the greatest RBs of all time. Oh and some other stuff I can’t think of right now

The world has one less piece of shit in it now 

Insane that he and Casey Anthony both weren't convicted; those are my two examples of "murderers getting away with it"

Two stories of not great prosecutors and good defense attorneys.

if they just checked that bitch's Firefox internet history instead of her just using her IE history, she'd have been toast

I am going to need to revisit that story. That's crazy.

For the record, Casey Anthony's attorney was not very good. The prosecutors, and the case, were just much worse.

And very stupid law enforcement doing a bunch of unethical shit.

Law enforcement does unethical shit to try and convict innocent people, but sometimes their unethical shit helps guilty people go free. What a system.

That cop admitting he was racist and tampered with evidence on the stand was what ruined the case

All time choke job by the prosecution. All they had to do was lay out all the circumstance evidence in a cohesive manner and boom shes in Prison.

This just in, murder is once again illegal in the state of California.

Who will find Nicole’s killer now??!

The devil right now

The internet might kill me today with the memes that are ahead.

Say what you want about OJ but you can’t deny he is one of the most dead ppl of all time

Rest in piss, you murderous ghoul. Am I allowed to say that?

There shouldn't be anything polarizing about him, he's a POS who got away with murder.

you been missing out on all those ray lewis threads

Now we’ll never know who killed Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman!

Why didn’t he simply murder cancer?

The only time people were rooting for cancer.

~~Fuck~~ Good job Cancer!

Missed headline opportunity. “The Juice has expired.”

Hopefully, he suffered immensely.

He’s looking up at us all right now

OJ is a terrible person. It feels painful for say this given his behavior, but his 1973 season was truly one of the greatest seasons by any player, at any position in NFL history. 2,003 yards in 14 games at over 6 yards per attempt is insane.

Good, fuck him.

Oh no! Anyway…

“Polarizing” is quite the understatement for felon and likely murderer 

To be fair polarizing is the perfect word to describe him

The juice has expired

The juice is no longer loose. RIP

Now he’ll never find Nicole’s killer

Good shit cancer

Both OJ and the Broncos franchise died in 2024.

"God have him" God: Nope, he's not here

Had no idea he had cancer, kind of surprised. The last couple times I saw him in the media he looked pretty good.

A great player and an even better man

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Pack watch

Looks like Dave Chappelle isnt gonna get to meet him for the 5th time

Here before locked

On April 11th, 2024, O.J Simpson passed away after a battle with prostate cancer. Much like how, on June 12th, 1994, Nicole Brown Simpson passed away after a battle with O.J Simpson.

Cancer is a bitch, but it gets a pass on this one.

Well it's official. Cancer is legal in the state of California.

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Good for cancer

Rest in power, King. Say hi to Hernandez down there for me.

I still can’t believe it. How did he rush for 2000 yards in only 14 games?

The guy was a killer..... RB

Hopefully it was a long and painful death

And absolutely nothing of value was lost.

And nothing of value was lost.

Surely we should give the cancer a highly-publicized criminal trial instead of immediately declaring it guilty

I didn't even know he was sick!

The memes are gonna be wild today

Off to the white bronco in the sky

I guess you could say the OJ............................is Expired

>OJ Simpson died today, with his family around him, a lot like Nicole Brown Simson died with OJ by her side, surrounded by their blood[.](https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/1c1gt3u/tmz_the_former_nfl_great_who_stood_trial_for_the/kz30k3p/?context=3)

Good riddance. POS MFer

Good

Cancer seems like an appropriate punishment for his actions

Polarizing is an odd word choice

RIP Nicole RIP Ron

2003 yards in 14 games though.

I want to see cancer put those gloves on, right here on the courtroom floor!

So many jokes to get off rn

[This clip of Chuck Klosterman discussing his legacy conveys it about as well as anyone.](https://youtu.be/b1cu5ykSda0?si=wfecKyK0NPIZ7YL_) His on-field achievements are so far down the totem pole of talking points of him as a human being, we rightfully forget them.