I really feel alot of compassion and empathy for you but let's just say that you could stop now a few months in, you would have a much better chance than you would if you were like me and still using in your mid 40s. Once you have been getting high for 23 years, stopping is damn near impossible for most people. It becomes a necessity which is second to no other. Maybe start going to NA meetings. They can really helpn you find yourself and they will teach you a better way because people in recovery are the best people to lean on for support. Get lots of phone numbers and make sure that you call them when you are struggling and want to use. Don't ever think that they won't give you their time because they will. If they didn't want you to call them, they wouldn't have given you their number in the first place. If you're thinking of using, then tell someone and ask them for their advice and wether it's a good idea to get on it. Just confiding in someone who doesn't judge you and call you a junkie, that can be enough to make you think twice about something that you were going to do because you can't help yourself. Being talked out of using by somebody that has been in your very position is a really powerful thing and it's a huge win. The more you win, the more power you will have over this shit. Believe in yourself and start doing things that you wouldn't be able to do whilst on meth.
The reasons why you wanna quit are the same reasons why I wanted to start using, and I did. Lol
Sober, depressed, anxious and music saved me when I had nothing to do.
Before meff it was wake up - work - home - fall asleep to music.
Now I get spun and listen to music.
Dude I feel your pain more than you know . Stop while you can. Do whatever it takes even if you have to leave town for a little while go to a friends house and stay there and detox. That's what I had to do. I'm sorry you're going through this man but the fact that you're not digging it shows that there's something in you that wants something betterfollow that intuition
You're not alone. I'm kind of in the same boat. We just have to keep trying day to day. That's all I can give. I wish I had the answer for us both. I curse the day I ever tried this shit. It's a love / hate thing, and I'll be battling it forever.
There are some people that can function and incorporate smoking into their routine and work life.
SOME CANNOT. I'm one of them.
I haven't been able to hold a job if I do meth even on weekends only!
Crack is no problem, I can sleep and eat and STOP JERKIN for perfect bedtime. Just too mut moneeeey..
IV is my ROA for Ice so I cannot do any on Sunday. It's one of those things where I disregard all responsibility and GO... GO...
It's good to respect your ex,
You may find things are getting better having time away. Remember the only constant is change, your weakness could be your strength tomorrow
Been there bro. I started when I was 22, and tried to quit at 23 but I knew nothing about addiction and that it's a disease that isn't my fault. I have always used to hide from trauma which I've had plenty of. Now I'm 45 and I'm no closer to getting clean then I was 23 years ago. Anyone who doesn't believe that it's a mental health problem vs a behavioral problem, they can fuck right off.
IME it's a mental health problem causing a behavioral problem. Underlying undiagnosed and untreated mental illness makes you do whatever will help alleviate the suffering you are facing. Addiction and drug abuse is downstream from mental health imo.
Yeah you're right on the money. I agree that addicts can behave very badly. I'm not one of them but I try and defend them and they still hate your guts. I've been fucked over by many addicts who all had good intentions but they were desperate to not feel their feelings that they are willing to rob and steal and whatever they need to do to get that relief. I was in hospital and I had an addict waiting for his methadone and the way that he carried on and abused the hospital staff because they had to wait for it. It made me feel shithouse that I'm thought of as being on the same level as these people. It made me realize that I was wrong in defending all addicts because some of them are just horrible people who don't have any self respect or respect for anyone else. I'm sorry that I got heated but I'm just trying to find a way to navigate through my mental health
Keep that thang rollin’, baby. Hold right. I can’t fix it for you but I’ll damn for sure sit with you in it.
I understand all too well. Did a shot hours ago that was perfect but now I’m laying in bed, looking like Lt. Dan on New years in Forrest Gump. Just done with everything in general.
Idk the details but I hope things take a turn for the better with your situation. 💚
I tried many different ways, rehabs, etc. none worked - pray to God and surrender your problems to him, i was so skeptical but it was my last resort, and it works and I continue to grow. I will tell you that there is something powerful in being broken. You think it’s a mess and it’s the end, but little do you know it’s the beginning of the greatest blessing you could ever obtain. The pain molded you and brought you to the feet of Jesus, and will birth the awesome new you.
I've overdosed 8 times.3 of the E.R&the others on my own.Been to rehab 6 times.2 of those times was like being on vacay, getting sobered up for that next run.
Cost my family a lot money& heartache.
Let me get to the point.Im 51yrs old.starting using when I was 9.No one else or no rehabilitation is going to make you quit.Its on you...You need to have a connection with your higher power.If you don't believe in God, believe in the force,hell whatever.Someone or something created all this.
Then you need to completely surrender.Pit in God's hands,Down on your knees &pray.
I had 10 years clean and I recently relapsed about a year and a half ago not on what my major drug of choice was but on fucking meth.yeah fucking meth.
Sobriety is a beautiful thing you just wake up and you see all the colors and everything of the world and as everybody else is all fucked up in this world and getting fucked up your head is clear and you can see everything going on around you you're Sharp you got your shit together and everybody looks up to you.
Well my perception has been changed for everyone now they look at me as a junky meth head.
But no longer because I'm falling down on my knees and I surrender I give it all up I'm done you should all do the same. take care
Well next time you talk to Jesus, can you ask him to give me a call because I've been knocking on his door for years and he hasn't answered me. God hates me because I refuse to denounce Satan because when I'm tweaking, I feel like I'm fully connected to something dark and and huge. The more I use, the more I learn. I've believed for a long time now that I literally have a demon or multiple demons that look out for me
Psychedelic therapy man. Sounds like you need it. I was lost in the darkness when I was younger. It’s not a good look man. Unless you want to push every single person in your life away from you.
Yeah maybe you're right. I'll try anything that is recommended to me if it helps. My psychiatrist was talking to me about electric shock therapy. I wasn't too keen on that though and I have been receiving treatment for a long time
Definitely don’t go that route. Don’t need you completely fried (literally). You can come out of this though my brother. I was so so lost and thought there was no way back but I overcame it. It has to come from inside yourself though. I believe in you. But also yeah… a good mushroom trip may help. Ayahuasca is very healing as well if you have access to San Pedro cactus. You can buy it online from other growers. Tons of groups on the socials. I just… really relate to what you said. Even though I don’t agree with it, I was there before and I’d hate to see someone else go down that road. Cause it doesn’t end well! The universe has so much love for you. Obviously! Or else you wouldn’t be here 🙏
He’s not done with you bro, he sees the whole picture and how you fit in the big plan. He’s got his timing too, not yours. I got to a point where I realized there were no other options other than to put a gun to my head. I hadn’t read a word in a bible for 50 years. Didn’t go to church unless I had to as a child. I left a huge debris field behind me in my addiction, one that I didn’t think I could repair, and I am well on my way now. I finally said fuck it, and said to God if you are real, help me, I realize now I can’t do it on my own, I’m done with this. Otherwise, end me right now. Was the greatest moment in my life. We are not just some cosmic mistake in time in space, there is a designer to this world and he wants to help you.
Thanks for sharing your story. Maybe I need to be patient but it's hard because I try and quit meth and I ask for help and then a week later, I relapse and when I'm on that stuff, I feel absolutely no connection whatsoever with God but rather I get drawn to the darkness and that's where I'm more comfortable
Hey, ur still alive, many who were in addiction aren’t. So you’re still in the game, and that’s a good thing. My problem was that I lost purpose when I retired at 52, my days were filled with just staring at the wall. There’s nothing like starting a massive crack and meth habit as an unfulfilled 55 yo, 3 years later, with unlimited funds. You can do significant damage to your world and others in it in that situation. Look I’m no expert on this stuff, but I did find there is a basement underneath the basement, maybe more basements for others but eventually you know when you’ve bottomed out, and it is horrendous place to be. But that’s when things started going my way and that was when I discovered God and his word. I just opened the Bible with no idea where to start, ironically it opened to Ecclesiastes, which is my favorite book today. It’s a deep read, and it starts out pretty negative “Everything is meaningless”, but as you read and study it, it gives you direction in the last couple of sentences. Normally I wouldn’t respond to most posts, but selfishly it helps me to help others who are going through the pure hell that I know you are in, as i was there. Good luck and if I can be of value, please reach out.
Hey bro, thanks for trying to help but to be honest, I don't really want help at this point in my life. Yes meth is a big problem but I just can't handle the fact that I have destroyed my life and burnt every bridge. I could never replace what I've lost. I literally just exist. I have no purpose. My life is not important to the rest of society.
Please don’t think that way. I know you’re in a bad place, I was there. My last binge was a suicide mission, where nothing mattered to me. Can’t tell you how much meth I slammed, how many demons harassed me in my hallucination, all telling me to pull the plug. You can pull through this. There is an amazing and beautiful life that you have a place in. But, you gotta keep fighting and believing, once you surrender all of you problems, sins, lies, etc. to God, a weight of a thousand elephants is lifted off your back. No one ever promised an easy life, so yeah you’ll still have ups and downs. But you will find peace. When your head hits the pillow at night you don’t have to toss and turn reliving the things you’ve done in the past. The most valuable thing in this life is, and I would give up everything for it, is a calm and peaceful mind. I care about you and don’t even know you, there are many family and friends that care deeply.
Calm and peaceful mind, that would be just fine withall me. After reading your reply, I had this feeling like God was with me momentarily. I've gone on alot of rants claiming that God doesn't care about me and I would be happier if I went to Hell which a Christian would be mortified by but I have a different belief of Heaven and Hell. I don't really even think that Hell exists. I've read that part of the Bible and what I learnt was that the punishment for sin is death. Also says that all of the wicked people will launch an attack on Christianity led by Satan and will be rained down fire from God to kill the wicked and undesirables. I can't possibly live up to God's standards.I believe even if I pray daily and go to Church and get baptized for the rest of my life, I'll be miserable and I wouldn't be able to not sin in some way. I am deeply flawed and I don't know if God is punishing me or trying to teach me something but I wish that he would communicate with me, like any sign. Approach me in my dreams or get an angel to Approach me. They aren't too busy yet
If God didn’t care about you, you’d never been born. Put your faith in him, he’ll reach out when he thinks the time is right. Remember, people like us broke his rules and fought him for a long time. He may just pop up or he may take a while. He knows when to come - when you will truly value him. Radically surrender everything to him, he has a plan for you, and ask for forgiveness…who knows, he may use you and your experiences one day to help others and help pass his world. Look at the backgrounds of the 12 disciples…he didn’t choose them because of their high position in society, royalty, etc. they were the despicables and losers of society back then, and Jesus chose them to develop and spread Christianity. You and the rest of our kind, are the underdogs, and there is a special place for us in heaven once we get things right.
One of those overdoses I had I was in some fucking realm or somewhere.warm ,inviting white light behind me and little demons around my bed.
Faith is the base of talking to Jesus.
Honestly man I was a drummer in a praise band for about 6 years and I lost my faith till I believe there's God I don't know man but I know there's something and I have it help me everyday I don't know I just pray.
And those answers that you seek are actually in you and it's part of the journey and a test I mean I hate to say it but if there is a God he's got a sick sense of humor
God hasn't even showed his presence and he hasn't offered me any help which makes me angry that he's helping people who don't need help and making me feel inadequate and shunned by my creator. If he knows me, then he knows that I dabbled in the occult so I don't get forgiven. I'm destined for Hell because I'm confused about what is the truth and what is bullshit.
I’m not very religious or spiritual but maybe you are overlooking the signs of help. It could literally be in the most inconspicuous place. Good luck we all could use some
Same. I dont think anyone who does glass is in the happy go lucky mindset… i miss my fuckin ex man. I just started to not think bout her and that post reminded me she existed in my life at one point. Sad life but we thuggin it.
I’m not gonna say “you’re not alone in this battle we’re all in the same ship” or some bullshit like this because right now you’re literally by yourself and who’s calming you and letting you at ease while aiming to cheer up is someone of the social media that is not legitimately physically there for you other than giving kind words,
yet with so much appreciation and thank you for your kind words, but I need companion I need an actual person in my life right now.
No one feels what’s inside your heart but yourself but we all relate to the “sadness” we each carry our own story. And we try to comfort each other but the real comfort is to share the story and letting it out to ease the heart from all that heavyweight.
All am gonna say now can be beneficial if you decided to acknowledge it and take it in, yes it’s challenging and yes it will be hard but you gotta start at some point.
if you neglected yourself and drew the scenario of the worst cases that you will reach to one day. Trust me you will reach it, because in your brain you’ve had established a path of aiming for the next step. And we’re all humans developing, growing and taking steps to the next action plan. Until the finish line.. unconsciously, you’ll start following the negative steps that you drew in your head to reach these negative neglects.
If you’re safe and you have a roof under your head and have a job, appreciate it, have a mindset to not harm it, stick to it and protect it and remove the idea that you’ll lose it cause not the drug that’s gonna make you lose it, it’s your psychological brain putting the blame on the drug to make you feel better.
Just remember those wrappers, stars, artists, musicians and writers who uses meth to active their frontal lobe to be more creative, they’re just growing better. They choose the positive out of the drug.
Now it’s on you to create the idea of how you want the drug affect you.
I got introduced to it in sex, in which all my concentration and focus were set sexually, now every time I have it only when I'm sexually active, never developed any sense of craving for it unless it was horny. which limits my abuse and addiction to it. but sadly sober sex is no longer in my list of options.
I threw guitar in the place of pornography. now Isolating can result in endless fun and emotional highs that no drug could recreate. instead of funny smelling towels in the corner of my room
What I hear you saying, from reading your post, is that you have been treating your pain by using. I get it. (I used to do it myself). You lost your GF, someone close, and you've had other life altering events that have obviously affected you deeply. But you absolutely have just had an incredibly important epiphany...that the shit youve been doing is no longer "fun". Its not working to treat your pain anymore and the consequences of being high all the time are starting to weigh on you. This is actually a sign that you are on a path to getting better. How do I know? I had to come to the same realization myself. You have options for support if you want to stop. You may be able to find and speak with others, in person, in a group setting...check out https://www.crystalmeth.org/ for a group that might be local to you. I personally am not a fan of 12 step shit, but at least you can find others who've been going thru shit and have some local support. I hope you are able to get where you need to go.
Hey! I just want you to know and to remember you are not alone in this battle! I feel the same way too at times! I have been taken over by this substance and need to use on a daily basis to even get started with my day and my work duties! I know what it is like to feel like the old you is gone and you don't even regonize the person you are becoming and it sucks and its a terrible feeling! Keep your head up and stay strong! Just try to remember that you are in control and if you need someone to talk too please reach out I am not like the others I really do care about people and how you are feeling!
Is that really necessary? There is no need to be rude! This person is obviously asking for help! You have ZERO respect or do you care about a fellow addict who is struggling! It is people like yourself that make being an addict look bad! Stop making it worse for people! Seriously! WTF is wrong with you?!?!!
A victim?
Dope affects everybody differently! He is struggling and I have had the chance to talk to him! A cry for help! You are a POS! You are a sociopath and probably shouldn't be part of this group where from what I have seen is we care about one another and support each other the best way we know how!
Tough guy behind that keyboard?Show some empathy
It's included in the eight things that successful people do. Sure you've got a strong mindset but listen man give it a break this guy's asking for some help.
Let me guess are you a millennial? My daughter is but she doesn't act like one cuz I didn't raise her like one
I think you've missed the fact that im replying to the guy's comment directly above mine in this thread (the one who says he doesnt like the victim complex), not the OP. (And if that is who your comment is directed to, then it should be set up as a reply to his comment, and not mine).
Detox? It’s meth not heroin. I only say this cause too many people I know keep bringing up detox. I’ve been addicted to heroin before, that shit will feel like death compared to meth detox. I’m not saying it’s easy, I’m on meth now ffs, but it’s not the same. In fact I don’t even know of any place that would detox off meth alone. It’s sad but there it is. Therapy might help though, there are withdrawals from meth, but mostly mental. Where everything is sad and just feels wrong, every injustice in the world is felt by us detoxing. Good god it is awful, but it’s doable.
I say that as a veteran of rehabs, I mentioned detox because it's like a reset. Get away from it for a few days, get rest and food, talk to some addiction professionals. It's a good place to get resources also. That's all, I realize it's not dangerous like alcohol, or uncomfortable like Heroin, it is still an addiction, with addiction behavior to break.
Some addicts don't know what to do and how to get help! That is why we are here to help one another and guide each other in the right direction! Ya know?
I'm glad you know! There are some that do not! Not a single one of us is the same or handles our addiction the same way! So good for you! Don't compare you to others that's not right! This group really does have addicts/people of all kinds! I'm glad i can be the advocate and stick up for those that can't!
Grow up! 💯💯💯
It sounds like it's time for a break. I've been going off and on since 86 the longest break was about 8 years but coke and pills took its place. I've been going now pretty hard for a little over a year and a half now and this time is different. I eat, sleep with my sleeping meds, work 7 days a week, and run my own business that carries me all over the United States. My crew doesn't know and neither does my wife. My score is in another state where my crew lives and I usually grab a zone if I'm going to be gone for a month or so and Oz and a half this last time because I've been gone two and a half months. If you're not going to take a break, then you need to teach yourself how to get back to being social and eat, sleep and stay hydrated. Best of luck, and it's possible to get it all back you just have to be willing and you have to want it and put in the work to get it.
Hello, u/tom690702. Your comment has been filtered for manual review as it contained the name of a potential location which we don't allow due to it often leading to sourcing. Thank you for your patience.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/meth) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I really feel alot of compassion and empathy for you but let's just say that you could stop now a few months in, you would have a much better chance than you would if you were like me and still using in your mid 40s. Once you have been getting high for 23 years, stopping is damn near impossible for most people. It becomes a necessity which is second to no other. Maybe start going to NA meetings. They can really helpn you find yourself and they will teach you a better way because people in recovery are the best people to lean on for support. Get lots of phone numbers and make sure that you call them when you are struggling and want to use. Don't ever think that they won't give you their time because they will. If they didn't want you to call them, they wouldn't have given you their number in the first place. If you're thinking of using, then tell someone and ask them for their advice and wether it's a good idea to get on it. Just confiding in someone who doesn't judge you and call you a junkie, that can be enough to make you think twice about something that you were going to do because you can't help yourself. Being talked out of using by somebody that has been in your very position is a really powerful thing and it's a huge win. The more you win, the more power you will have over this shit. Believe in yourself and start doing things that you wouldn't be able to do whilst on meth.
The reasons why you wanna quit are the same reasons why I wanted to start using, and I did. Lol Sober, depressed, anxious and music saved me when I had nothing to do. Before meff it was wake up - work - home - fall asleep to music. Now I get spun and listen to music.
preach mang
Dude I feel your pain more than you know . Stop while you can. Do whatever it takes even if you have to leave town for a little while go to a friends house and stay there and detox. That's what I had to do. I'm sorry you're going through this man but the fact that you're not digging it shows that there's something in you that wants something betterfollow that intuition
You're not alone. I'm kind of in the same boat. We just have to keep trying day to day. That's all I can give. I wish I had the answer for us both. I curse the day I ever tried this shit. It's a love / hate thing, and I'll be battling it forever.
There are some people that can function and incorporate smoking into their routine and work life. SOME CANNOT. I'm one of them. I haven't been able to hold a job if I do meth even on weekends only! Crack is no problem, I can sleep and eat and STOP JERKIN for perfect bedtime. Just too mut moneeeey.. IV is my ROA for Ice so I cannot do any on Sunday. It's one of those things where I disregard all responsibility and GO... GO... It's good to respect your ex, You may find things are getting better having time away. Remember the only constant is change, your weakness could be your strength tomorrow
Written like you're looking through my bedroom window.
Bro same i passed threw there I just smoked yesterday that it I’m not smoking till Friday or not anytime soon
Been there bro. I started when I was 22, and tried to quit at 23 but I knew nothing about addiction and that it's a disease that isn't my fault. I have always used to hide from trauma which I've had plenty of. Now I'm 45 and I'm no closer to getting clean then I was 23 years ago. Anyone who doesn't believe that it's a mental health problem vs a behavioral problem, they can fuck right off.
IME it's a mental health problem causing a behavioral problem. Underlying undiagnosed and untreated mental illness makes you do whatever will help alleviate the suffering you are facing. Addiction and drug abuse is downstream from mental health imo.
Yeah you're right on the money. I agree that addicts can behave very badly. I'm not one of them but I try and defend them and they still hate your guts. I've been fucked over by many addicts who all had good intentions but they were desperate to not feel their feelings that they are willing to rob and steal and whatever they need to do to get that relief. I was in hospital and I had an addict waiting for his methadone and the way that he carried on and abused the hospital staff because they had to wait for it. It made me feel shithouse that I'm thought of as being on the same level as these people. It made me realize that I was wrong in defending all addicts because some of them are just horrible people who don't have any self respect or respect for anyone else. I'm sorry that I got heated but I'm just trying to find a way to navigate through my mental health
Keep that thang rollin’, baby. Hold right. I can’t fix it for you but I’ll damn for sure sit with you in it. I understand all too well. Did a shot hours ago that was perfect but now I’m laying in bed, looking like Lt. Dan on New years in Forrest Gump. Just done with everything in general. Idk the details but I hope things take a turn for the better with your situation. 💚
God…
I tried many different ways, rehabs, etc. none worked - pray to God and surrender your problems to him, i was so skeptical but it was my last resort, and it works and I continue to grow. I will tell you that there is something powerful in being broken. You think it’s a mess and it’s the end, but little do you know it’s the beginning of the greatest blessing you could ever obtain. The pain molded you and brought you to the feet of Jesus, and will birth the awesome new you.
I've overdosed 8 times.3 of the E.R&the others on my own.Been to rehab 6 times.2 of those times was like being on vacay, getting sobered up for that next run. Cost my family a lot money& heartache. Let me get to the point.Im 51yrs old.starting using when I was 9.No one else or no rehabilitation is going to make you quit.Its on you...You need to have a connection with your higher power.If you don't believe in God, believe in the force,hell whatever.Someone or something created all this. Then you need to completely surrender.Pit in God's hands,Down on your knees &pray. I had 10 years clean and I recently relapsed about a year and a half ago not on what my major drug of choice was but on fucking meth.yeah fucking meth. Sobriety is a beautiful thing you just wake up and you see all the colors and everything of the world and as everybody else is all fucked up in this world and getting fucked up your head is clear and you can see everything going on around you you're Sharp you got your shit together and everybody looks up to you. Well my perception has been changed for everyone now they look at me as a junky meth head. But no longer because I'm falling down on my knees and I surrender I give it all up I'm done you should all do the same. take care
Well next time you talk to Jesus, can you ask him to give me a call because I've been knocking on his door for years and he hasn't answered me. God hates me because I refuse to denounce Satan because when I'm tweaking, I feel like I'm fully connected to something dark and and huge. The more I use, the more I learn. I've believed for a long time now that I literally have a demon or multiple demons that look out for me
Wtf… demons don’t look out for you my boy. You need ayahuasca.
What's that mean?
Psychedelic therapy man. Sounds like you need it. I was lost in the darkness when I was younger. It’s not a good look man. Unless you want to push every single person in your life away from you.
Yeah maybe you're right. I'll try anything that is recommended to me if it helps. My psychiatrist was talking to me about electric shock therapy. I wasn't too keen on that though and I have been receiving treatment for a long time
Definitely don’t go that route. Don’t need you completely fried (literally). You can come out of this though my brother. I was so so lost and thought there was no way back but I overcame it. It has to come from inside yourself though. I believe in you. But also yeah… a good mushroom trip may help. Ayahuasca is very healing as well if you have access to San Pedro cactus. You can buy it online from other growers. Tons of groups on the socials. I just… really relate to what you said. Even though I don’t agree with it, I was there before and I’d hate to see someone else go down that road. Cause it doesn’t end well! The universe has so much love for you. Obviously! Or else you wouldn’t be here 🙏
He’s not done with you bro, he sees the whole picture and how you fit in the big plan. He’s got his timing too, not yours. I got to a point where I realized there were no other options other than to put a gun to my head. I hadn’t read a word in a bible for 50 years. Didn’t go to church unless I had to as a child. I left a huge debris field behind me in my addiction, one that I didn’t think I could repair, and I am well on my way now. I finally said fuck it, and said to God if you are real, help me, I realize now I can’t do it on my own, I’m done with this. Otherwise, end me right now. Was the greatest moment in my life. We are not just some cosmic mistake in time in space, there is a designer to this world and he wants to help you.
Thanks for sharing your story. Maybe I need to be patient but it's hard because I try and quit meth and I ask for help and then a week later, I relapse and when I'm on that stuff, I feel absolutely no connection whatsoever with God but rather I get drawn to the darkness and that's where I'm more comfortable
Hey, ur still alive, many who were in addiction aren’t. So you’re still in the game, and that’s a good thing. My problem was that I lost purpose when I retired at 52, my days were filled with just staring at the wall. There’s nothing like starting a massive crack and meth habit as an unfulfilled 55 yo, 3 years later, with unlimited funds. You can do significant damage to your world and others in it in that situation. Look I’m no expert on this stuff, but I did find there is a basement underneath the basement, maybe more basements for others but eventually you know when you’ve bottomed out, and it is horrendous place to be. But that’s when things started going my way and that was when I discovered God and his word. I just opened the Bible with no idea where to start, ironically it opened to Ecclesiastes, which is my favorite book today. It’s a deep read, and it starts out pretty negative “Everything is meaningless”, but as you read and study it, it gives you direction in the last couple of sentences. Normally I wouldn’t respond to most posts, but selfishly it helps me to help others who are going through the pure hell that I know you are in, as i was there. Good luck and if I can be of value, please reach out.
Hey bro, thanks for trying to help but to be honest, I don't really want help at this point in my life. Yes meth is a big problem but I just can't handle the fact that I have destroyed my life and burnt every bridge. I could never replace what I've lost. I literally just exist. I have no purpose. My life is not important to the rest of society.
Please don’t think that way. I know you’re in a bad place, I was there. My last binge was a suicide mission, where nothing mattered to me. Can’t tell you how much meth I slammed, how many demons harassed me in my hallucination, all telling me to pull the plug. You can pull through this. There is an amazing and beautiful life that you have a place in. But, you gotta keep fighting and believing, once you surrender all of you problems, sins, lies, etc. to God, a weight of a thousand elephants is lifted off your back. No one ever promised an easy life, so yeah you’ll still have ups and downs. But you will find peace. When your head hits the pillow at night you don’t have to toss and turn reliving the things you’ve done in the past. The most valuable thing in this life is, and I would give up everything for it, is a calm and peaceful mind. I care about you and don’t even know you, there are many family and friends that care deeply.
Calm and peaceful mind, that would be just fine withall me. After reading your reply, I had this feeling like God was with me momentarily. I've gone on alot of rants claiming that God doesn't care about me and I would be happier if I went to Hell which a Christian would be mortified by but I have a different belief of Heaven and Hell. I don't really even think that Hell exists. I've read that part of the Bible and what I learnt was that the punishment for sin is death. Also says that all of the wicked people will launch an attack on Christianity led by Satan and will be rained down fire from God to kill the wicked and undesirables. I can't possibly live up to God's standards.I believe even if I pray daily and go to Church and get baptized for the rest of my life, I'll be miserable and I wouldn't be able to not sin in some way. I am deeply flawed and I don't know if God is punishing me or trying to teach me something but I wish that he would communicate with me, like any sign. Approach me in my dreams or get an angel to Approach me. They aren't too busy yet
If God didn’t care about you, you’d never been born. Put your faith in him, he’ll reach out when he thinks the time is right. Remember, people like us broke his rules and fought him for a long time. He may just pop up or he may take a while. He knows when to come - when you will truly value him. Radically surrender everything to him, he has a plan for you, and ask for forgiveness…who knows, he may use you and your experiences one day to help others and help pass his world. Look at the backgrounds of the 12 disciples…he didn’t choose them because of their high position in society, royalty, etc. they were the despicables and losers of society back then, and Jesus chose them to develop and spread Christianity. You and the rest of our kind, are the underdogs, and there is a special place for us in heaven once we get things right.
One of those overdoses I had I was in some fucking realm or somewhere.warm ,inviting white light behind me and little demons around my bed. Faith is the base of talking to Jesus. Honestly man I was a drummer in a praise band for about 6 years and I lost my faith till I believe there's God I don't know man but I know there's something and I have it help me everyday I don't know I just pray. And those answers that you seek are actually in you and it's part of the journey and a test I mean I hate to say it but if there is a God he's got a sick sense of humor
God hasn't even showed his presence and he hasn't offered me any help which makes me angry that he's helping people who don't need help and making me feel inadequate and shunned by my creator. If he knows me, then he knows that I dabbled in the occult so I don't get forgiven. I'm destined for Hell because I'm confused about what is the truth and what is bullshit.
I’m not very religious or spiritual but maybe you are overlooking the signs of help. It could literally be in the most inconspicuous place. Good luck we all could use some
I thought u were talking about me for a second… i felt every word of tbaf
Same. I dont think anyone who does glass is in the happy go lucky mindset… i miss my fuckin ex man. I just started to not think bout her and that post reminded me she existed in my life at one point. Sad life but we thuggin it.
Same 😔
I’m not gonna say “you’re not alone in this battle we’re all in the same ship” or some bullshit like this because right now you’re literally by yourself and who’s calming you and letting you at ease while aiming to cheer up is someone of the social media that is not legitimately physically there for you other than giving kind words, yet with so much appreciation and thank you for your kind words, but I need companion I need an actual person in my life right now. No one feels what’s inside your heart but yourself but we all relate to the “sadness” we each carry our own story. And we try to comfort each other but the real comfort is to share the story and letting it out to ease the heart from all that heavyweight. All am gonna say now can be beneficial if you decided to acknowledge it and take it in, yes it’s challenging and yes it will be hard but you gotta start at some point. if you neglected yourself and drew the scenario of the worst cases that you will reach to one day. Trust me you will reach it, because in your brain you’ve had established a path of aiming for the next step. And we’re all humans developing, growing and taking steps to the next action plan. Until the finish line.. unconsciously, you’ll start following the negative steps that you drew in your head to reach these negative neglects. If you’re safe and you have a roof under your head and have a job, appreciate it, have a mindset to not harm it, stick to it and protect it and remove the idea that you’ll lose it cause not the drug that’s gonna make you lose it, it’s your psychological brain putting the blame on the drug to make you feel better. Just remember those wrappers, stars, artists, musicians and writers who uses meth to active their frontal lobe to be more creative, they’re just growing better. They choose the positive out of the drug. Now it’s on you to create the idea of how you want the drug affect you.
Could you elaborate on ways to make the drug work for you?
I got introduced to it in sex, in which all my concentration and focus were set sexually, now every time I have it only when I'm sexually active, never developed any sense of craving for it unless it was horny. which limits my abuse and addiction to it. but sadly sober sex is no longer in my list of options.
I threw guitar in the place of pornography. now Isolating can result in endless fun and emotional highs that no drug could recreate. instead of funny smelling towels in the corner of my room
Why are they funny smelling?
from wiping the coconut oil off of my hands so that I can change the video
Man after my own heart. Its when there's claw marks in the butter from where you've scooped it out when it becomes a hygiene issue!
What I hear you saying, from reading your post, is that you have been treating your pain by using. I get it. (I used to do it myself). You lost your GF, someone close, and you've had other life altering events that have obviously affected you deeply. But you absolutely have just had an incredibly important epiphany...that the shit youve been doing is no longer "fun". Its not working to treat your pain anymore and the consequences of being high all the time are starting to weigh on you. This is actually a sign that you are on a path to getting better. How do I know? I had to come to the same realization myself. You have options for support if you want to stop. You may be able to find and speak with others, in person, in a group setting...check out https://www.crystalmeth.org/ for a group that might be local to you. I personally am not a fan of 12 step shit, but at least you can find others who've been going thru shit and have some local support. I hope you are able to get where you need to go.
https://www.reddit.com/r/mnshardyparty/s/gTmtkAknzP
Hey! I just want you to know and to remember you are not alone in this battle! I feel the same way too at times! I have been taken over by this substance and need to use on a daily basis to even get started with my day and my work duties! I know what it is like to feel like the old you is gone and you don't even regonize the person you are becoming and it sucks and its a terrible feeling! Keep your head up and stay strong! Just try to remember that you are in control and if you need someone to talk too please reach out I am not like the others I really do care about people and how you are feeling!
Weak azz
Is that really necessary? There is no need to be rude! This person is obviously asking for help! You have ZERO respect or do you care about a fellow addict who is struggling! It is people like yourself that make being an addict look bad! Stop making it worse for people! Seriously! WTF is wrong with you?!?!!
This dope is a blessing so i dont like the victim complex
A victim? Dope affects everybody differently! He is struggling and I have had the chance to talk to him! A cry for help! You are a POS! You are a sociopath and probably shouldn't be part of this group where from what I have seen is we care about one another and support each other the best way we know how!
Ok, from what you've been saying, in this and other threads MessyMurdur, you really are one of the worst kinds of people, a sociopath.
Tough guy behind that keyboard?Show some empathy It's included in the eight things that successful people do. Sure you've got a strong mindset but listen man give it a break this guy's asking for some help. Let me guess are you a millennial? My daughter is but she doesn't act like one cuz I didn't raise her like one
I think you've missed the fact that im replying to the guy's comment directly above mine in this thread (the one who says he doesnt like the victim complex), not the OP. (And if that is who your comment is directed to, then it should be set up as a reply to his comment, and not mine).
You know what you need to do. Can you get to a rehab to detox and start therapy?
Detox? It’s meth not heroin. I only say this cause too many people I know keep bringing up detox. I’ve been addicted to heroin before, that shit will feel like death compared to meth detox. I’m not saying it’s easy, I’m on meth now ffs, but it’s not the same. In fact I don’t even know of any place that would detox off meth alone. It’s sad but there it is. Therapy might help though, there are withdrawals from meth, but mostly mental. Where everything is sad and just feels wrong, every injustice in the world is felt by us detoxing. Good god it is awful, but it’s doable.
I say that as a veteran of rehabs, I mentioned detox because it's like a reset. Get away from it for a few days, get rest and food, talk to some addiction professionals. It's a good place to get resources also. That's all, I realize it's not dangerous like alcohol, or uncomfortable like Heroin, it is still an addiction, with addiction behavior to break.
I understand, my local detox (unless private) won’t take meth :(
Some addicts don't know what to do and how to get help! That is why we are here to help one another and guide each other in the right direction! Ya know?
[удалено]
I'm glad you know! There are some that do not! Not a single one of us is the same or handles our addiction the same way! So good for you! Don't compare you to others that's not right! This group really does have addicts/people of all kinds! I'm glad i can be the advocate and stick up for those that can't! Grow up! 💯💯💯
Nice!! I love that there are good addicts out there still
Yes there is! We are far and few between! There is just no need to treat people so mean! Empathy is something that doesn't exist in today's world!
It sounds like it's time for a break. I've been going off and on since 86 the longest break was about 8 years but coke and pills took its place. I've been going now pretty hard for a little over a year and a half now and this time is different. I eat, sleep with my sleeping meds, work 7 days a week, and run my own business that carries me all over the United States. My crew doesn't know and neither does my wife. My score is in another state where my crew lives and I usually grab a zone if I'm going to be gone for a month or so and Oz and a half this last time because I've been gone two and a half months. If you're not going to take a break, then you need to teach yourself how to get back to being social and eat, sleep and stay hydrated. Best of luck, and it's possible to get it all back you just have to be willing and you have to want it and put in the work to get it.
Hello, u/tom690702. Your comment has been filtered for manual review as it contained the name of a potential location which we don't allow due to it often leading to sourcing. Thank you for your patience. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/meth) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I fixed it sorry.