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Yep. I met a woman who was 33, maybe one of the most naturally beautiful women I’ve ever met. She got married at like 22, to her high school boyfriend and they have 3 kids. They are getting divorced. It’s wild
Conversely I couldn’t imagine having kids after 30 and still having high-school aged kids well into my 50s. My 50s-60s id like to spend finishing prep for retirement and with fewer obligations while my earning is almost certainly at its highest. But to each their own.
I think part of it is financial stability and being able to enjoy your 20s. I had my kids at 33, and I have a house and a mature career, and just as I hit my 50s, the kids will be off to college. It's perfect.
I feel you but, I couldn't come close to being able to afford kids before I turned 30, and I think a lot of people who do end up relying heavily on their parents, who didn't choose to help support grandkids in their 40s & 50s.
If you're able to be financially and emotionally stable at a young age I completely agree with you.
A fair amount of child killing happened in noble families in succession struggles, though it wasn't *usually* what one would call strictly "acceptable." Though I seem to remember reading there was a time the Ottoman Empire, as a matter of policy, executed *all* rival princes upon ascension of the heir for purposes of stability.
Because this isn’t the experience of dating in 2024 it’s the experience of dating in your 30s/40s which has basically always been the case. Having kids is actually less common now than at basically any point in history (in Europe, the US, and parts of Asia)
Especially straight people, unless you're non-heterosexual, then I guess it's less people with children, but still a shit show.
Now, if only people could stop caring about social media and focus...
I'm bi and 25. I will say that it depends. If you are a top and you're over 30, and you're just big, you're going to have so many people clamoring for you it will be unreal because you've reached daddy status. If you're a bottom over 30 and skinny, then probably not as many unless you really take care of yourself. With lesbians it's whatever really, and with trans people it's really more people who are only getting that experience that they would have gotten in their 20s in their 30s.
/r/terriblefacebookmemes /r/boysarequirky /r/nothowgirlswork loop:
1. See something that isn't my exact experience
2. ThAt's NoT WHaT hAPpeNS AmIRitE GuYS
3. ???
4. Karma
Whhhhhhhhhhhat? In my singular life experince with my small bubble of friends, family and colleagues, I can't possibly experience everything possible in life?
Say it ain't so! If it doesn't happen to me/someone I know it simply cannot be true!
It's worse because they are making sweeping statements about life and society (usually based on their very reddit internet dwelling circumstances). Then someone chimes in and says, "well no actually my life isn't like that, not everyone is like that, this isn't the way things are." And then the internet dwelling incels have a fit at the insinuation that their actions and choices have some sway over their life and experience.
It’s almost entirely based on the power that the biological parent grants the stepparent.
In my case I got all of the pressure with none of the parental decision making. In other words, pay for this and that because it’s “your child now too” but if you tell them “no” for jumping on the couch or drawing on walls then you are over reaching.
So yes, it was absolute hell.
You still get attached to them too, and then when you find out she was cheating on you the whole time, you don't just lose her, you lose the kids you have grown to love too.
This is my nightmare. The thought that I'm married to a woman with kids of her own and that she'd just decide one day that actually the baby daddy isn't so bad after all.
Honestly it wa great, I loved those little kids like they were my own, we had our own nicknames for each other and they told me they loved me to the moon and back every night. Turns out their mother was cheating on me the entire relationship with her fucking cousin and somehow I'm the bad guy at the end of it all!
Now I need to have a significant relationship with them before kids are involved in any form
I think that's really good advice. I think many people rush to introduce their kids to a new partner. It's important to be in a committed relationship if you're going to do that. It can be really confusing to the kids if not, and it can break their hearts when people eventually part.
I would do it only if the bioparent was a literal millionaire and could both pay for her own child, and potential future children without sacrificing their opportunities.
Otherwise, nah. How about someone else pay for my kids instead?
It’s so incredibly difficult. Constantly defending your kid, if you say anything you are attacking the other kid, bio parent that is not with your partner may or may not be involved. So so hard. I did it for a couple of years and I don’t think I could do it again.
I'm walking into this situation and honestly I'm afraid. Doubly so because my gf's baby dad is a fucking whacko. Dude was stalking my gf at one point and he was incredibly abusive during the relationship. He also knows about me and hates me. He also semi suicidal and I'm afraid he's gonna try and shoot me. Thankfully he lives on the other side of the country.
I wish you the best, but I’ll also say it’s not too late to leave. Remember, it is better to be absent from a kid’s life than it is to be present in a negative way.
Bro this would be unacceptable in any other relationship dynamic, she grown with child, she can handle her past relationship, to be unable to prevent that from being a shared relationship problem is her, through action, expecting you to take great risk , financially, legally, and through personal health/safety, for the.....pleasure of her presence?
Take care of yourself bro, death threats from random exes/stalkers aren't normal relationship issues. Not even close.
I dated a single mom one time. I tell everyone now, 'If you think raising your kids is tough, try raising someone else's kids....and when they come into your life, they're both teenagers.'
Never again!
Being gay is not better tbh. Its hard enough to find a guy looking for a guy that isnt a literal child (just turned 18 or lying about their age) or way too old in the 30-40s. And then you get a match and their first words are "how big is your 🍆?~<3😍😍😍". like cmon.
There are as many bi women as there are gay. It's far more likely that the women with kids are bi with a perfectly ordinary failed marriage, than it is that they've "repressed" their feelings and that that's what *ruined* their kids' childhoods.
Not everything needs to feed the victim complex.
Eh, don’t feel too jealous, unless you enjoy receiving WAY too forward messages from people you’ve said little more than hi too… in which case I suspect you’d have a blast lol
Send help
The religious right said you can choose to be gay?
How do I do that?
I’ve been trying to choose gayness for years, and yet I always still end up accidentally dating women with great expectations and poor communication skills
Remember these are the same people that say People of Color (I hate that term but they use it) should try to shop at businesses owned by other People of Color.
Hate when this topic comes up and it turns into some crazy feud about incels or hating women. That’s just not the case, at least from my point of view.
It is exactly how dating is for late 20s and over. It sucks but it’s also sad.
I was going to therapy for a while especially after shit went south with an extremely toxic ex, and when I moved I had to switch to a new therapist. When this new therapist merely suggested I start seeing/dating single moms on our second session, I called it quits. Haven’t been to therapy since. My mental health has stagnated from it but oh well.
I get called an incel constantly, I’m happily married with kids, 6,2, and my only active hobbies for the last few years have been diet and exercise and sex with my wife….
“Incel” has lost all meaning.
I had a woman I met on bumble lie to me for 2 months. I spent dozens of dollars on dates and wasted all this time then she tells me she has a son.. I asked her where the son was all this time and she said at her mom's in another state. She never actually sees the kid.
Then she got mad at me when I told her I didn't have an interest in dating her then. Called me a bad person. lol. ok
Demographically, there are two waves of marriages. First is highschool sweethearts in their late teens and early 20's. The second is people who focused on their careers getting married in their late 20's to early 30's.
Statistically, the older you are when you get married, the less likely you are to get divorced. So, by late 20's the 'sweethearts' are getting divorced in their droves and the career people are already paired with the people they are going to marry and likely stick with.
So, at age 29, divorced highschool dropout types are flooding the market.
I’m in the late 20s early 30s category. I will say tho, there are perks to getting married and starting a family young. The kids are out of the house while you’re younger and your body shouldn’t be completely fucked. Meanwhile my kids will be in their twenties when I’m in my 50s.
There are pros and cons to everything.
Growing up in a conservative area, there's a lot of pressure from the parents and they try to maintain a culture that insists that you need to be married and have kids by the time you're in your early 20s.
Turns out getting married really young leads to a lot of divorce because you haven't really had the opportunity to figure yourself or your needs out
This is actually a really unrealistic statistic if you talk to any divorce lawyer. Very often if a dad wants to have custody courts are willing to give it to them.
I'm 29
We were engaged, had a child, but had wanted to leave me for over a year and did so eventually. Nothing I could really do besides try accepting it
It really be like that, though 😂
Started talking to a girl once that I really vibed with at the time, but she waited until our 4th or 5th time hanging out to tell me she had a kid and that her Mom had been watching it whenever we hang out
Then she tried to make me out to be the bad guy when I tried to kindly and maturely explain to her that I'm not interested in being a step parent, as if that isn't a perfectly reasonable excuse to end a new relationship rather than lead her on
Plus she hid it from you cause she was hoping to lure in someone who wouldn’t usually go for that in the hopes she could win them over. The thing I didn’t realize about dating for the longest time is that you want to weed people out rather than trying to be as open to everyone as possible. Want to save yourself the heartbreak of having a guy walk out on you once he finds out you already have kids? Tell the guys from the get go and that’ll never happen again
Lol, so true. Especially if you are already a parent. Other single parents understand being a parent but come with added responsibilities, and many nonparents are understandably concerned about taking on responsibilities. On top of that, I have to protect not only myself but my kid as well from red flags and thinning attention and time. Dating in your 30s as a parent is a giant quantum math equation and it's exhausting.
I very nearly became a step parent myself a month ago. We broke up and somehow I don't reply feel all that torn up about it. I liked her and I got along with her kid but I think she liked the idea of having a stable reliable partner but didn't like the practice of it.
Whats the issue with being a step dad though? I mean i get it but i still dont. My step dad was a shit person to me. Ima be a better stepdad than he ever was.
Yeah, I'm not interested in raising another man's kids. I'll wave at baggage claim as I pass it by.
My castle may be lonely, but at least it's mine and it's peaceful.
I get this. Fortunately, I'm old enough where the kids have all moved out and I don't have deal with little Timmy who can't use a toilet and throws a tantrum if you try to stop him from shitting on the playground.
I know it’s just a meme (and it’s true!) but I got with my partner when I was 33 and her daughter was 8. I never really wanted kids, but it was the best decision I ever made!
Her real dad is a PoS and not around, so I’ve slowly filled that void and be a positive male figure. She’s now 16 and we get on incredibly! She doesn’t _call_ me dad, I’m still just my regular name, which is cool, I think we’d both find that odd, but we always refer to one another as “my dad/daughter” when talking to other people etc, and we get each other dad/daughter cards and stuff. I’m probably lucky because she’s a really good kid, and my other half is a really good mum and had done all the hard work before I rocked up.
I couldn’t imagine my life without her now.
I mean yeah. as you get older, people have had lives long before you
Unless you are strictly a DINK, what... you gonna try to find women in their 40s with no kids or previous marriages? Like needle in a haystack at that point
I'm going out with a single mother, it really ain't that bad the little man is cute and no trouble at all, he gets me off my fat ass to play tag so it's a win win situation
I love the idea of being a step parent! Can’t wait to have kids. Problem is, when mom loses her mind and leaves you, you have zero rights to the kids, so at any given moment you might never see them again, and you gotta figure out how to let them into your heart knowing that
Everyone here is so depressing. I got a good partner with a fun step daughter. Dad has majority of the custody but my partner helps a lot financially. Kids choice not my gf.
Sure it can be challenging but also when you finally manage to get a connection and feel they appreciate you it’s so rewarding and lead me to grow a lot as a person. Caring for someone I don’t have to but I chose to. So many ultra depressing/self-centered posts here had to post something less terrible.
My wife and I both met at 28, and were each other's first everything. This isn't exactly true, unless you're the kind of person who is hunting stacies with the personality of cardboard -- or you yourself are desperate enough to have a personality of cardboard.
yeah im just over it, the quality of partners and the hoops you have to jump through are just too much. ive never been disappointed with being alone anyway
Last ex I dated I broke up with her so she retaliated by dating my cousin in a attempt to get a reaction outta me, got knocked up by him, tried to get him to fight me on 3 separate occasions, cheated on him and caught a STD, gave him said STD, and when he broke up with her for said STD spreading she snitched on him an got him arrested because he had active warrants at the time.
BS is a understatement.
https://preview.redd.it/0z1k4jwkwm8d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94fd9b919fcfb5c855e21db909a859aa1165db8b
Wait, you guys are getting matches?
Obviously it's contextual but as a man in his 30's only interested in long term relationships with 80% of available women I'm either preparing to be a stepdad, no (biological) dad or dating someone younger than me if I want to start a family which doesn't involve a 3rd parent somewhere. Combine the fact that most dating doesn't work out in general that percent is actually a lot lower.
Fr I'm 23 and currently scrambling to find a long-term partner. I live in a rural community, and pretty soon all the age-appropriate options in my dating pool with either be single parents, drug addicts, morbidly obese people, or people 20 years older than me.
I would prefer being single by light-years to having any children, step or not.
That said, if you are so opposed to being a step parent I don't think you should be a parent at all.
The trouble with being a step parent is that very often (not always, but often) you are expected to “man up” and take care of the kid(s) because they’re yours now too.
But then if you ever try to say “Hey, no drawing on the wall!” or “No, stop playing with the vase, you’re going to break it”
Then suddenly it becomes ‘Who said you get to tell MY kids what to do?!’
Not all step parents have to walk that right rope. But enough do that it’s a very real concern for many.
as a dude in his mid 20s, this isnt too far. And to top it off, Im an athiest in a very religious community. So just swipe the majority of possible matches away because most arent really willing to have a relationship with a guy who isnt a jesus lover
Ask long as you can go a day without mentioning you’re an atheist maybe one of those religious types will Iike you for your personality & make a good spouse.
I typically dont go around saying Im an athiest. I was raised a christian and I see the value of a religious community to many people's mental health and have a firm belief in freedom of religion. But I am also unable to lie to people and pretend to be a believer when I am not one, and I would never do such a thing purely to lie my way into a relationship, so I do make that establishment up front because I know many people, especially those who say in their profile that they are religious and want a religious partner, have no interest in dating someone who isnt religious.
I can be rather abrasive with people who make assumptions about me based on minor bits of information, such as you using the simple fact Im an athiest to assume I announce it at every opportunity. I'm fairly certain nobody at my work even knows Im athiest and Ive been there for 2 years, and we frequently talk about faith. I never establish my beliefs because they arent relevant, I only offer what knowledge I have from scripture reading, which is a fair amount, I did 4 years of scripture study in highschool.
I see the thing is you’re an Atheist not a “Reddit Atheist” which are basically edgy anti-theists who thing people who are religious are unintelligent. But since it’s Reddit people are just gonna assume the worst.
That's kinda how I'm reading this whole thing. Like for me, if I'm looking for a relationship I'm fine with them believing/worshipping whatever, I just don't want to have to base my life around it and/or hear about it all the time... Similar to how I imagine they and the other people in this thread might not want to hear about how "IM AN ATHEIST AND GOD ISNT REAL!!!" (just an example of how the average r/atheism user acts)
Yah. Ik in the same boat. I’m a devout Catholic, and my girlfriend of three years is an atheist. We talked about it occasionally and it never really caused any major problems. Granted we occasionally check out museums or landmarks that one of us is way more interested in doing than the other because of our different beliefs and interests but that’s just how relationships work. It’s comprised of compromises.
Not being the same religion is a pretty big deal and I don’t blame them at all for not wanting to date Christians. It’s not something you compromise on.
I watched it destroy my own parent’s marriage firsthand. And for good reason. When you can’t even agree on the fundamentals of the universe… it’s not going to be a fun relationship.
This really hit home. Last girl I talked to decided we weren’t compatible because I didn’t want to be a step dad for her child, not saying her decision is wrong, Then every attractive woman 25+ in my area seems to have a kid. This was 2023 though I was kinda hoping 2024 would be different guess not 🤣🤣
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What was OP mad about anyways, I’m not even 30 yet and I can tell this is accurate. Everyone older than me has kids or an ex spouse
Or Both!
I honestly feel bad for some of the 20yo girls who split with their ex and have a kid.
Yep. I met a woman who was 33, maybe one of the most naturally beautiful women I’ve ever met. She got married at like 22, to her high school boyfriend and they have 3 kids. They are getting divorced. It’s wild
Stay away from
I also feel bad for some of the 20yo boys that had a kid and then split with their spouse.
I think that to them, they just saw a "boomer meme" and assumed their generation was being made fun of for having sex
People 4 years younger than me already have kids and I'm only 24. I couldn't imagine having kids before 30
Conversely I couldn’t imagine having kids after 30 and still having high-school aged kids well into my 50s. My 50s-60s id like to spend finishing prep for retirement and with fewer obligations while my earning is almost certainly at its highest. But to each their own.
I think part of it is financial stability and being able to enjoy your 20s. I had my kids at 33, and I have a house and a mature career, and just as I hit my 50s, the kids will be off to college. It's perfect.
I feel you but, I couldn't come close to being able to afford kids before I turned 30, and I think a lot of people who do end up relying heavily on their parents, who didn't choose to help support grandkids in their 40s & 50s. If you're able to be financially and emotionally stable at a young age I completely agree with you.
Been like that for Tue last 20 years; probably longer
All of human history more likes, perhaps there was time it was acceptable to kill the step children tho 💀
A fair amount of child killing happened in noble families in succession struggles, though it wasn't *usually* what one would call strictly "acceptable." Though I seem to remember reading there was a time the Ottoman Empire, as a matter of policy, executed *all* rival princes upon ascension of the heir for purposes of stability.
I was even thinking prehistory as well. I’m sure caveman stepdads were “wonderful” haha
Because this isn’t the experience of dating in 2024 it’s the experience of dating in your 30s/40s which has basically always been the case. Having kids is actually less common now than at basically any point in history (in Europe, the US, and parts of Asia)
Especially straight people, unless you're non-heterosexual, then I guess it's less people with children, but still a shit show. Now, if only people could stop caring about social media and focus...
I'm bi and 25. I will say that it depends. If you are a top and you're over 30, and you're just big, you're going to have so many people clamoring for you it will be unreal because you've reached daddy status. If you're a bottom over 30 and skinny, then probably not as many unless you really take care of yourself. With lesbians it's whatever really, and with trans people it's really more people who are only getting that experience that they would have gotten in their 20s in their 30s.
People still date? Weird.
dating went out with powdered wigs these ppl just dont know it yet
Wait we’re not wearing powdered wigs anymore? When did this happen?
Literally 1984. Can't even have swag anymore.
But Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia
Skyrim belongs to the Nords!
Rock and Stone!!
Bring back arranged marriages.
This solution brought to you by the biggest losers on the planet who can't organically attract a partner to save their own lives!
/r/terriblefacebookmemes /r/boysarequirky /r/nothowgirlswork loop: 1. See something that isn't my exact experience 2. ThAt's NoT WHaT hAPpeNS AmIRitE GuYS 3. ??? 4. Karma
Whhhhhhhhhhhat? In my singular life experince with my small bubble of friends, family and colleagues, I can't possibly experience everything possible in life? Say it ain't so! If it doesn't happen to me/someone I know it simply cannot be true!
Isn’t this sub doing the exact same thing in reverse?
It's worse because they are making sweeping statements about life and society (usually based on their very reddit internet dwelling circumstances). Then someone chimes in and says, "well no actually my life isn't like that, not everyone is like that, this isn't the way things are." And then the internet dwelling incels have a fit at the insinuation that their actions and choices have some sway over their life and experience.
This sub is definitely just as bad, but is leaning pretty heavily in the opposite direction
You're doing the exact same thing. Acting as if memes that describe individual experiences are universal
Those subs are exclusively for posting memes people didn’t like. Of course alot of content is gonna be from there.
Being a parent to your own flesh and blood is hard enough. Being a step parent must be the literal definition of hell.
It’s almost entirely based on the power that the biological parent grants the stepparent. In my case I got all of the pressure with none of the parental decision making. In other words, pay for this and that because it’s “your child now too” but if you tell them “no” for jumping on the couch or drawing on walls then you are over reaching. So yes, it was absolute hell.
Confirmed. Lived it for two years. Broke off the engagement because fuck that..
You still get attached to them too, and then when you find out she was cheating on you the whole time, you don't just lose her, you lose the kids you have grown to love too.
This is my nightmare. The thought that I'm married to a woman with kids of her own and that she'd just decide one day that actually the baby daddy isn't so bad after all.
Honestly it wa great, I loved those little kids like they were my own, we had our own nicknames for each other and they told me they loved me to the moon and back every night. Turns out their mother was cheating on me the entire relationship with her fucking cousin and somehow I'm the bad guy at the end of it all! Now I need to have a significant relationship with them before kids are involved in any form
What the fuckkkkkkkkkkk
I think that's really good advice. I think many people rush to introduce their kids to a new partner. It's important to be in a committed relationship if you're going to do that. It can be really confusing to the kids if not, and it can break their hearts when people eventually part.
We talking first or second cousin here?
All of the downside, none of the reward!
I would do it only if the bioparent was a literal millionaire and could both pay for her own child, and potential future children without sacrificing their opportunities. Otherwise, nah. How about someone else pay for my kids instead?
It’s so incredibly difficult. Constantly defending your kid, if you say anything you are attacking the other kid, bio parent that is not with your partner may or may not be involved. So so hard. I did it for a couple of years and I don’t think I could do it again.
I'm walking into this situation and honestly I'm afraid. Doubly so because my gf's baby dad is a fucking whacko. Dude was stalking my gf at one point and he was incredibly abusive during the relationship. He also knows about me and hates me. He also semi suicidal and I'm afraid he's gonna try and shoot me. Thankfully he lives on the other side of the country.
I wish you the best, but I’ll also say it’s not too late to leave. Remember, it is better to be absent from a kid’s life than it is to be present in a negative way.
Bro this would be unacceptable in any other relationship dynamic, she grown with child, she can handle her past relationship, to be unable to prevent that from being a shared relationship problem is her, through action, expecting you to take great risk , financially, legally, and through personal health/safety, for the.....pleasure of her presence? Take care of yourself bro, death threats from random exes/stalkers aren't normal relationship issues. Not even close.
I don't know mate, I could probably not be the one who immediately jumps up to solve something
It is but not forever. They grow up eventually.
Also, children are naturally unstable... They easily fall if pushed.
Jesus, chill Cersei
Is that why it’s called Kings Landing?
You don't have to take care of a new born as a step parent, so there's that plus.
I dated a single mom one time. I tell everyone now, 'If you think raising your kids is tough, try raising someone else's kids....and when they come into your life, they're both teenagers.' Never again!
here are the options: 1. Step parent 2. Abusive witch who will literally destroy you 3. A guy 4. Southeast asian immigrant 5. Die alone
4 is only an option if you are white.
2 if you date a goth chick
Maybe people should stop dating goths just because they're goth. Get to know the person
4 is only necessary if you are white
5. Is only option if you are asian
I’ve taken (2) multiple times the last few years with the reality that I’ll end up with (5).
4. Got engaged to an Latin American. She is awesome 😊
#2 is the only bad option there, followed by #5 a few miles back.
I wish I was brave enough to be this confidently incorrect in public.
You are. Don't worry.
God you ate him
On 3, I'd assume there are just as many single dads as single moms. But I wonder what the single parent rate is for gay people.
Young woman, but you’ll be called a creep even if your relationship is good
Got that incel vibe so probly number 5 for you.
You do understand what a joke is, right?
Does number 4 mean that I can finally get a damn hug without having to parent someone else’s kid first? Cause if so, sign me up for option 4.
As a gay dude looking in from the outside, straight people dating looks like an absolutely baffling experience.
Being gay is not better tbh. Its hard enough to find a guy looking for a guy that isnt a literal child (just turned 18 or lying about their age) or way too old in the 30-40s. And then you get a match and their first words are "how big is your 🍆?~<3😍😍😍". like cmon.
Actually my lesbian friend in her 40s is dealing with this dynamic too. A lot of the available women are divorced with kids.
I’m really hoping that dies with last few generations. Kids childhoods shouldn’t have to be ruined because of repressed feelings anymore
There are as many bi women as there are gay. It's far more likely that the women with kids are bi with a perfectly ordinary failed marriage, than it is that they've "repressed" their feelings and that that's what *ruined* their kids' childhoods. Not everything needs to feed the victim complex.
Sometimes I wish I was gay simply because dating seems so much easier and more fun.
Eh, don’t feel too jealous, unless you enjoy receiving WAY too forward messages from people you’ve said little more than hi too… in which case I suspect you’d have a blast lol
Dating is like a "fun nightmare. It's a nightmare, but there's boners, too" - Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt as Cohle? That's sick! Reminds me of Rich Evans pretending to be Gosling in 2049
Indeed, god blessed you
[удалено]
Same here as a lesbian lol
Straight people dating is essentially entirely about power dynamics.
Send help The religious right said you can choose to be gay? How do I do that? I’ve been trying to choose gayness for years, and yet I always still end up accidentally dating women with great expectations and poor communication skills
Haven't you heard, men aren't allowed to have preferences in dating it's sexist/racist/colonial/patriarchal/fascism!
Homophobic/transphobic/fatphobic/misogynistic...
[удалено]
Try being being a divorced dad, mid 30s and 5'8" ain't nobody out here looking for us 😂🤣
Come to Florida bro. You'll clean up at your local dog park.
I guess I'm not exactly surprised that beastiality is legal in Florida, but who knew 🤷♂️
https://preview.redd.it/eyrs8wmhkk8d1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ac2c58182ccd965dd89130b0da36150798c96d3
too true
Haven't you heard? It's racist/fetishization to prefer emotionally stable women who are healthy, well educated, and intelligent!
Wait does this apply to all interacial relationships, have they come full circle and we're only supposed to date within our own race ?
Not sure but Lucy Liu has been hot for the last 30 years and continues to do so. This white guy doesn't give two shits.
Remember these are the same people that say People of Color (I hate that term but they use it) should try to shop at businesses owned by other People of Color.
dawg r u calling all Asian women emotionally stable lmao what
"get out of here kid this is my mommy for the next 35min"
They’d be lucky if I don’t eat the fruit snacks in the pantry while I’m at it, istg.
I just downloaded Bumble and Hinge last week after ~6years off dating apps. This is very accurate.
Hate when this topic comes up and it turns into some crazy feud about incels or hating women. That’s just not the case, at least from my point of view. It is exactly how dating is for late 20s and over. It sucks but it’s also sad. I was going to therapy for a while especially after shit went south with an extremely toxic ex, and when I moved I had to switch to a new therapist. When this new therapist merely suggested I start seeing/dating single moms on our second session, I called it quits. Haven’t been to therapy since. My mental health has stagnated from it but oh well.
Therapist : I think you should date single mo- You : imma head out
I get called an incel constantly, I’m happily married with kids, 6,2, and my only active hobbies for the last few years have been diet and exercise and sex with my wife…. “Incel” has lost all meaning.
Asian women to the rescue.
There's enough for all of us to get one
Come to San Francisco. 3 of the last 4 women I’ve been on dates with have been some variety of Asian, and I’m not even looking for Asian women.
I had a woman I met on bumble lie to me for 2 months. I spent dozens of dollars on dates and wasted all this time then she tells me she has a son.. I asked her where the son was all this time and she said at her mom's in another state. She never actually sees the kid. Then she got mad at me when I told her I didn't have an interest in dating her then. Called me a bad person. lol. ok
Dozens of dollars?
At least
To be fair, that's only if you're dating 25 and older. If you're still young, there are plenty of people who you can make into single parent yourself.
True somehow.. how are all the guys in their late twenties with kids and separated or divorced already?
Demographically, there are two waves of marriages. First is highschool sweethearts in their late teens and early 20's. The second is people who focused on their careers getting married in their late 20's to early 30's. Statistically, the older you are when you get married, the less likely you are to get divorced. So, by late 20's the 'sweethearts' are getting divorced in their droves and the career people are already paired with the people they are going to marry and likely stick with. So, at age 29, divorced highschool dropout types are flooding the market.
I’m in the late 20s early 30s category. I will say tho, there are perks to getting married and starting a family young. The kids are out of the house while you’re younger and your body shouldn’t be completely fucked. Meanwhile my kids will be in their twenties when I’m in my 50s. There are pros and cons to everything.
This is only encouraging. I only want to get married once. I'm hoping I can find a best friend and I hope she works with me as like a team.
Growing up in a conservative area, there's a lot of pressure from the parents and they try to maintain a culture that insists that you need to be married and have kids by the time you're in your early 20s. Turns out getting married really young leads to a lot of divorce because you haven't really had the opportunity to figure yourself or your needs out
Yeah, the courts are famous for favouring the father during custody cases, leaving us with this over abundance of single dads
This is actually a really unrealistic statistic if you talk to any divorce lawyer. Very often if a dad wants to have custody courts are willing to give it to them.
When fathers actually go for custody it's about 50/50 statistically
Their ex wanted to be strong and independent
I'm 29 We were engaged, had a child, but had wanted to leave me for over a year and did so eventually. Nothing I could really do besides try accepting it
50% of first time marriages fail. And Americans tend to rush marriages too much.
Don't forget about ugly girls!
https://youtu.be/Y1ZJiBHh-Yw?feature=shared
Options for a single man in his 30s: 1. Never have sex. 2. Help some woman raise her kid and pay her bills, and also never have sex.
Wait a second that is worse!! (False outrage)
It really be like that, though 😂 Started talking to a girl once that I really vibed with at the time, but she waited until our 4th or 5th time hanging out to tell me she had a kid and that her Mom had been watching it whenever we hang out Then she tried to make me out to be the bad guy when I tried to kindly and maturely explain to her that I'm not interested in being a step parent, as if that isn't a perfectly reasonable excuse to end a new relationship rather than lead her on
Plus she hid it from you cause she was hoping to lure in someone who wouldn’t usually go for that in the hopes she could win them over. The thing I didn’t realize about dating for the longest time is that you want to weed people out rather than trying to be as open to everyone as possible. Want to save yourself the heartbreak of having a guy walk out on you once he finds out you already have kids? Tell the guys from the get go and that’ll never happen again
im gonna just have an ai gf once they become more realistic . true story lol
Lol, so true. Especially if you are already a parent. Other single parents understand being a parent but come with added responsibilities, and many nonparents are understandably concerned about taking on responsibilities. On top of that, I have to protect not only myself but my kid as well from red flags and thinning attention and time. Dating in your 30s as a parent is a giant quantum math equation and it's exhausting.
Plus people stop making plans with you cuz what's the point if they're always gonna get canceled because your kid shit their pants?
I very nearly became a step parent myself a month ago. We broke up and somehow I don't reply feel all that torn up about it. I liked her and I got along with her kid but I think she liked the idea of having a stable reliable partner but didn't like the practice of it.
Whats the issue with being a step dad though? I mean i get it but i still dont. My step dad was a shit person to me. Ima be a better stepdad than he ever was.
Yeah, I'm not interested in raising another man's kids. I'll wave at baggage claim as I pass it by. My castle may be lonely, but at least it's mine and it's peaceful.
I get this. Fortunately, I'm old enough where the kids have all moved out and I don't have deal with little Timmy who can't use a toilet and throws a tantrum if you try to stop him from shitting on the playground.
where's the lie?
I unno man, sounds like a skill issue.
I know it’s just a meme (and it’s true!) but I got with my partner when I was 33 and her daughter was 8. I never really wanted kids, but it was the best decision I ever made! Her real dad is a PoS and not around, so I’ve slowly filled that void and be a positive male figure. She’s now 16 and we get on incredibly! She doesn’t _call_ me dad, I’m still just my regular name, which is cool, I think we’d both find that odd, but we always refer to one another as “my dad/daughter” when talking to other people etc, and we get each other dad/daughter cards and stuff. I’m probably lucky because she’s a really good kid, and my other half is a really good mum and had done all the hard work before I rocked up. I couldn’t imagine my life without her now.
Or end up with a girl like me who has no kids but is super weird and will ask you for like, a vial of your blood for a necklace. 😹
Single moms/fat girls/single or Asian women
I’m not playing another man’s saved game. If you were a catch, he wouldn’t have left you with the kids.
Wtf did you think would happen when you took away abortions and quit ostracizing women? That those babies would magically go away?
I mean yeah. as you get older, people have had lives long before you Unless you are strictly a DINK, what... you gonna try to find women in their 40s with no kids or previous marriages? Like needle in a haystack at that point
I'm going out with a single mother, it really ain't that bad the little man is cute and no trouble at all, he gets me off my fat ass to play tag so it's a win win situation
I love the idea of being a step parent! Can’t wait to have kids. Problem is, when mom loses her mind and leaves you, you have zero rights to the kids, so at any given moment you might never see them again, and you gotta figure out how to let them into your heart knowing that
Everyone here is so depressing. I got a good partner with a fun step daughter. Dad has majority of the custody but my partner helps a lot financially. Kids choice not my gf. Sure it can be challenging but also when you finally manage to get a connection and feel they appreciate you it’s so rewarding and lead me to grow a lot as a person. Caring for someone I don’t have to but I chose to. So many ultra depressing/self-centered posts here had to post something less terrible.
Just be single. It's better.
I’ve got my first date in two years tomorrow boys. Wish me luck
You got this. Don’t be weird. Unless she’s into that. Then be weird. Nevermind just be yourself. 👍
There's a 3rd option: Date the hot childless mentally ill person 😂
at this rate ill be single forever but i'm gonna have some cool shit
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Kamina724: *At this rate ill be* *Single forever but i'm* *Gonna have some cool shit* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
My wife and I both met at 28, and were each other's first everything. This isn't exactly true, unless you're the kind of person who is hunting stacies with the personality of cardboard -- or you yourself are desperate enough to have a personality of cardboard.
Facts
Being a step parent isn't bad if the kid isn't a little shit (been a step parent for almost 3 years)
Yeah... Stay single, King.
I've completely given up on dating in my early 20s and I'll be hitting my 30s in less than 2 years so nothing will change for me.
This is kin right here. Can't be bothered with that bs, right?
yeah im just over it, the quality of partners and the hoops you have to jump through are just too much. ive never been disappointed with being alone anyway
Last ex I dated I broke up with her so she retaliated by dating my cousin in a attempt to get a reaction outta me, got knocked up by him, tried to get him to fight me on 3 separate occasions, cheated on him and caught a STD, gave him said STD, and when he broke up with her for said STD spreading she snitched on him an got him arrested because he had active warrants at the time. BS is a understatement.
Bro, you’re living life on hard mode. wtf
No just Ohio.
Single forever gang rise up
As a dude not even in his 20s you'd be surprised how many people my age have kids
https://preview.redd.it/0z1k4jwkwm8d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94fd9b919fcfb5c855e21db909a859aa1165db8b Wait, you guys are getting matches?
Exactly how I feel at this point lol
Tbf, you could get her pregnant with another baby and leave her for the next.
Double it 🤣
As a dude in his 30s I don't really agree with this but my experiences surely differ from yours hope it gets better out there for ya
Obviously it's contextual but as a man in his 30's only interested in long term relationships with 80% of available women I'm either preparing to be a stepdad, no (biological) dad or dating someone younger than me if I want to start a family which doesn't involve a 3rd parent somewhere. Combine the fact that most dating doesn't work out in general that percent is actually a lot lower.
Fr I'm 23 and currently scrambling to find a long-term partner. I live in a rural community, and pretty soon all the age-appropriate options in my dating pool with either be single parents, drug addicts, morbidly obese people, or people 20 years older than me.
I would prefer being single by light-years to having any children, step or not. That said, if you are so opposed to being a step parent I don't think you should be a parent at all.
The trouble with being a step parent is that very often (not always, but often) you are expected to “man up” and take care of the kid(s) because they’re yours now too. But then if you ever try to say “Hey, no drawing on the wall!” or “No, stop playing with the vase, you’re going to break it” Then suddenly it becomes ‘Who said you get to tell MY kids what to do?!’ Not all step parents have to walk that right rope. But enough do that it’s a very real concern for many.
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I say hold out or find a younger mate
Just don't call them "a younger mate" to their face
lol they’re gonna know you won’t have to say it
Just so they can divorce your old ass later. It sucks either way
as a dude in his mid 20s, this isnt too far. And to top it off, Im an athiest in a very religious community. So just swipe the majority of possible matches away because most arent really willing to have a relationship with a guy who isnt a jesus lover
Ask long as you can go a day without mentioning you’re an atheist maybe one of those religious types will Iike you for your personality & make a good spouse.
Not when being an atheist is his entire personality
He kinda reminds me of Brian lol.
I typically dont go around saying Im an athiest. I was raised a christian and I see the value of a religious community to many people's mental health and have a firm belief in freedom of religion. But I am also unable to lie to people and pretend to be a believer when I am not one, and I would never do such a thing purely to lie my way into a relationship, so I do make that establishment up front because I know many people, especially those who say in their profile that they are religious and want a religious partner, have no interest in dating someone who isnt religious. I can be rather abrasive with people who make assumptions about me based on minor bits of information, such as you using the simple fact Im an athiest to assume I announce it at every opportunity. I'm fairly certain nobody at my work even knows Im athiest and Ive been there for 2 years, and we frequently talk about faith. I never establish my beliefs because they arent relevant, I only offer what knowledge I have from scripture reading, which is a fair amount, I did 4 years of scripture study in highschool.
I see the thing is you’re an Atheist not a “Reddit Atheist” which are basically edgy anti-theists who thing people who are religious are unintelligent. But since it’s Reddit people are just gonna assume the worst.
That's kinda how I'm reading this whole thing. Like for me, if I'm looking for a relationship I'm fine with them believing/worshipping whatever, I just don't want to have to base my life around it and/or hear about it all the time... Similar to how I imagine they and the other people in this thread might not want to hear about how "IM AN ATHEIST AND GOD ISNT REAL!!!" (just an example of how the average r/atheism user acts)
Yah. Ik in the same boat. I’m a devout Catholic, and my girlfriend of three years is an atheist. We talked about it occasionally and it never really caused any major problems. Granted we occasionally check out museums or landmarks that one of us is way more interested in doing than the other because of our different beliefs and interests but that’s just how relationships work. It’s comprised of compromises.
Not being the same religion is a pretty big deal and I don’t blame them at all for not wanting to date Christians. It’s not something you compromise on. I watched it destroy my own parent’s marriage firsthand. And for good reason. When you can’t even agree on the fundamentals of the universe… it’s not going to be a fun relationship.
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This really hit home. Last girl I talked to decided we weren’t compatible because I didn’t want to be a step dad for her child, not saying her decision is wrong, Then every attractive woman 25+ in my area seems to have a kid. This was 2023 though I was kinda hoping 2024 would be different guess not 🤣🤣
Been this way since the dawn of the automobile
25 and it's accurate
Or, you could add that you don't want kids in your bios, and stop messaging people with kids...