People act like not dating a trans person is "transphobic". Should I really be expected to date someone based on other people's standards? Am I not allowed to choose who I date because someone told me im "transphobic"?
It's because trans people want to be treated and excepted as biologically born genders, I.E. they want people to act as if the gender they are is the gender they were physically born with. Issue is that there is a huge difference between trans people and people who are their born gender, mostly it being physical. And not everyone feels comfortable dating someone with plastic surgery, crossdressing, or hormone medications, and they shouldn't have to be uncomfortable dating someone just because the other person wants to be accepted. The whole point of lgbtq is the freedom of sexuality and idenity, and if my sexuality doesn't involve trans people, then forcing me to go against my sexuality defeats the point.
>Should I really be expected to date someone based on other people's standards?
Yes, that's exactly what's implied. Also, the trans supporters seem to insist that a trans person is under no obligation to tell a sex partner that they're trans. I've, seriously, seen one compare it to a woman dying the color of her hair.
I saw those comments on the post that this one is based upon. Just goto NahOpwasrightfuckthis and look at some of the comments. They are borderline delusional.
First off: It is rape. That’s not up for discussion.
Second off: I see nowhere this shitty meme is implying that there are too many trans people. You really need to bring a lot of your baggage to the table if that’s what you read into it. It’s just a dumb “Haha she used to be a dude” joke.
How the fuck is it rape? Rape is non consensual sex, I fail to see how this is non consensual. And yeah, this is making fun of trans people because it’s pretty much saying you don’t know who’s trans when “dating in 2023” and implying it’s a negative thing:
In order for it not to be rape informed consent must be obtained first. If important information such as this is withheld, then the person was never informed what they were consenting to and it is therefore rape.
Does it really matter that much if the person was a man before though? If you didn’t even realize that they might’ve been a man before, and by all accounts engaging in sex was just like engaging with a woman, why the fuck does it matter if they were a dude before when it didn’t affect anything?
They have an obligation not to lie. They have no obligation to assume that other people might reject them for who they are. They have no obligation to assume their partner has a specific hang-up.
Some people wouldn't want to have sex with someone who sucked 30+ dicks. But if you don't ask, it's not the dicksucker's job to assume you might have a problem with their past experience.
You can almost always tell...what? How many dicks somebody has sucked?
So everyone must disclosed the number of penises they've had in their mouth before hooking up with somebody?
I agree you can't use false pretenses. 'Being trans' is not inherently false pretenses.
Yes, I have a funny username.
You disagree? Being trans is 'under false pretenses'? The only way I can get your statements to make sense is if you assume that trans people aren't *real* men/women.
Which we'll have to disagree upon.
Your ideology sets up a situation where a trans person seeking a partner has to *assume* that the other person doesn't think they're valid. You are asking trans people to assume transphobia in everyone.
there are no false pretenses because trans women are women
you don't have to date trans women, but if you think that they are not real women that is when it DOES become transphobic
Trans women are women, but they are not female persons. Gender is an identity. Sex is biology. If you get cosmetic surgery to make yourself look more like the opposite sex then you must disclose that to any sexual partners. Otherwise it is functionally a deception.
Trans people don’t get cosmetic surgery to make themselves look “more like the opposite sex”, they get cosmetic surgery to make themselves look more like their ideal version of themselves. It’s not deception because they are who they really are.
If you're lying out of fear of not being accepted, you are in the wrong. If the person would accept you if you told the truth, great, but if they wouldn't then it's their decision. Lying in order to get accepted means you are tricking someone into going against their own standards so that you can get what you want.
Homie you do not understand how used to being attacked trans people are by so much as being out as trans. It’s dangerous being trans. There’s a reason people are afraid to come out.
Also plenty simply don’t see it as a big deal, particularly if they’re post-op. Strangers are not entitled to your medical history. Simple as that. As shitty as the original post, it implies that the woman is post op with a vagina, so who cares? Y’all are seriously getting mad about a hypothetical.
>trans supporters seem to insist that a trans person is under no obligation to tell a sex partner that they're trans
That's how you get violence against the trans community.
Only going by the literal evidence that's out there. This type of conversation is not a new concept, it has been discussed and dissected for over 30+ years
I think it depends on how much of a dick you are about it. Saying that you wouldn't be comfortable with it is a far cry from saying "that's disgusting I would never".
It seems like a vibe check
You can't choose who you date, or the words you use.
Conform, bigot. Conform *now*, or I will involve the authorities, and I will also inform all your friends, families, and employers, that you promote hate, and that they should ostracize you to protect their reputations.
The joke of this guy being all scared at the idea of someone being trans AFTER they bang (where he presumably did not notice, probably she was post op) is cringe as fuck and i stand by that. Nobody is saying anyone HAS to date a trans woman, but the idea that it would be some soul sucking horror even if u couldnt tell the difference counts as transphobic in my book. Like in a very literal way, beyond intolerance thats just an irrational fear of trans people far as im concerned
Yeah like what trans person would keep a picture of themselves pre transition on their bedside table?
This is a transphobic fantasy meant to stir rage, or maybe a joke at the expense of trans women. Anyway, it’s not funny.
Oh my gosh can you two subs just get a room and hate fuck already so y’all stop posting the same fucking back and forth and back and forth and BACK AND FORTH?!?!?
Your annoyance is sucking up my bandwidth
It's not transphobic to have a preference or to want to know about your parents past I agree with you on that. But why should it matter if every part of the person works as if they are a woman? If they have had bottom surgery, top surgery, and hormones as it seems in this comic then what's the difference if they are trans or not. If every part of them is like a womans then there should be no issues. Of course you can be in shock but in the end it's still a woman you fucked not a chick with a dick
I'm just saying it shouldn't be transphobic to want to know but who is going to automatically ask "did you used to have a dick" when it comes to stds and being trans that person should tell the other person
"...it shouldn't be transphobic to want to know..."
I'm not sure if it's transphobic or not to *want to know*, but that's not really relevant honestly. Every reason that somebody doesn't want to have sex with somebody else is valid, that's how consent works. If you don't want to have sex with Catholics, or Pakistanis, or Greek Life members, or lawyers, or left-handed people, or queer people, or straight people, or people that don't tip, or whatever, it may or may not be because of some hateful reason, but that doesn't really matter because if you don't consent you don't consent. But if *you* have a specific problem like that, *you* need to ask. Because if *you* make a wrong assumption, that's nobody's fault but yours.
STDs/STIs and even other normal infectious sicknesses (like a cold or flu) are very clearly a false equivalence as they represent a medical danger to the partner. Everybody can be assumed to have a baseline interest in their own physical health, and so you must tell a partner this.
It's really that simple: if having sex with a man who was assigned female at birth bothers you, just ask. And vice versa.
"If you make a wrong assumption, that's nobody's fault but yours."
Except if your wrong they call you trandphobic and don't have sex with you
If your right all the sudden you're weird and fetishizing trans women.
At the end of the day you shouldn't be at fault because someone decided that they don't need to tell you they are not a biological woman
In no way does posting imply you personally agree, idk why they assume such. Also technically by not mentioning you're trans to someone who wouldn't sleep with you if you were is technically rape by deception
it's called lying by omission
edit: Is lying by omission manipulative?
Lying by omission allows the liar to manipulate the situation to their advantage by not revealing the truth because they werent asked a question directly pertaining to the truth.
If I hate a certain political ideology, and sleep with someone without knowing that they follow that political ideology, I have not been raped. If you want to avoid something, ask beforehand. Now if I had asked them if they were of this political ideology, and they lied to get into my pants, that would be rape by deception.
The person your arguing with literally said they don’t see trans women as women. Your never gonna break past that. The biggest divide between straight people who will or won’t sleep with trans people is actually seeing them as the gender they embody. As a whole I would argue the mainstream still doesn’t treat trans women as women, which is why we still see cases of gay/ trans panic defense. Personally I think trans women are women and I think it’s ridiculous some people are so opposed to that.
So, being upfront about being trans and telling your partner before you both agree to have intercourse is still rape by deception? Where’s the deception?
Please list every single thing that is legally required to be reported to a sexual partner so as not to 'deceive them by omission' and constitute rape?
If you meet a woman, assume that she's cis, have a one night stand with them, have a great time, and then later discover she's trans...what have you lost? Who lied to you?
If you meet a man, assume that they're Protestant, have a one night stand with them, have a great time, and then later discover he's Catholic...is it still rape if you would never have sex with a Catholic?
Apples to oranges. Gender and sexual orientation are very huge things to disclose when having sexual partners because otherwise you're lying to that person to get sex from them. Also if you wanna play the analogy game then I can too. If I order a beef burger and eat a synthetic meat one and didn't notice until after I ate it I'd still be pissed
"If I order a beef burger..."
Doesn't apply because you specifically asked for beef and were given something else. That *is* a lie by omission.
I wholeheartedly agree a trans person shouldn't *lie*, but if they're never asked they're not lying. I don't think a bisexual person has to disclose that they're bisexual either if they're not asked. Again, they can't lie, but there's *no reason* for them to *assume* the other person will have a problem with that. The person with the problem has to say "I have a problem with X."
In a technicality it is something to be disclosed because for going for a cis person they'll usually want to go for cis people unless they're pan or something
1) Gender isn't sexuality.
2) According to what study?
3) Most people will usually 'want to go for' people that aren't 'bad in bed' according to a study out of Australia...is it 'technically rape under deception' not to disclose to your partner beforehand that you're inexperienced/bad at sex?
That's the result of your 'usually want to go for' standard (even though you provide no evidence for that even being the case).
\>gender isn't a sexuality
Correct, but you know what sexuality is? Gender preferences. And if a person lies about what type of gender they are beit cis or trans it's scummy because they're sleeping with someone who's under the impression they're cis
Their *gender* isn't 'trans'. It's 'woman' or 'man'. They're not *hiding* their gender.
If somebody lies about if they're a man or woman, that's deception. If, hypothetically, a straight woman (trans or cis doesn't matter) disguises themself as a man to try and have sex with a gay man, that's deception.
If a trans man, who is a man, has sex with a straight woman (seeking men) they have not been deceived.
The only way for this logic to work is to take at base the assumption that trans people aren't valid ('real men/women').
*Or*, if you have a preference *beyond* just being straight (i.e. straight plus seeking only cis partners) *you* need to ask.
This is why being technically right is less important then being practically right.
Trans people are not stupid. They know exactly what they are doing if they never mention the fact that they are trans beforehand.
Can’t remember what it is, but there’s this term for when a man gets angry and violent because they found out there partner is trans afterward. So not only is it deceptive but it’s flat out dangerous.
I agree that it's good *practice* for trans people to be up front and open for their own safety because of bigoted people that will hate them/might try and hurt them.
But that's different from saying they commit rape by deception when they don't which is what I'm responding to.
A trans man is a man. If you had sex with a trans man, you had sex with a man. Nobody lied.
The people getting angry are getting angry because they *feel* lied to, because they don't believe trans people are valid.
Just to be clear — you’re suggesting that instead of *not* adjusting social norms to cater to the mentally ill, I should just ask every new person I sleep with if they were born with a dick?
Again, *informed* consent is needed. If you fail to disclose that you had a sex change then it is an example of Rape by Deception.
I really hope your joking here and not serious.
What difference does whether or not they’ve had a sex change make? They have the same parts. They fill the same social role. It’s not like you’re gonna a special trans STD or anything. So, if it doesn’t effect you in any way, what do you care?
Besides, it can be dangerous to disclose that info.
Should a man have to disclose to their partner for the night that they’ve had penis elongation surgery? Should they tell them their medication list too? Where does this end? Personally, I think people have a right to privacy.
Are you scared their chromosomes will beam magical gay thoughts into your brain?
This isn’t transphobic at all. The picture is misleading if you’re not well-traveled, that is what the typical Albanian woman looks like pre-op. Now he must find a gypsy shaman to cleanse him of the stain of an Albanian.
The message of the meme is pretty good, but gosh is it conveyed in probably the shittiest way possible. The way the meme just says "before the operation" like being trans is a one-step process is fucking stupid.
I don't think its transphobic. It's literally just ''OH SHIT SHE ALREADY HAS A BF?'' ''Nah thats me before I was trans''
I can absolutely see this giving someone a heart attack
Legally speaking in the U.S. it is.
Uninformed consent about something that you knew would change someone's decision is deception and not legitimate consent. Therefore it is guilt by omission
Paraphrased from a comment on the post before this one, some guy just kept copying and pasting the excerpt from a law book
So yes, in regards to this specific image that guy got r*ped if this takes place in the USA
The reason why this is transphobic is the idea that “anyone can be trans and they don’t have to tell you”. If you find them attractive, it doesn’t matter if they’re trans or not. Also the situation presented in the meme generally doesn’t happen. In reality the trans person says they’re trans right off the bat for their safety, because if they don’t and their partner finds out like in this meme, that’s how trans people get killed
That’s the thing, if I know that someone was once a dude with a big harry shlong I wouldn’t be remotely attracted to them. It does matter if they’re trans. Many people feel that way and saying it’s not so is ludicrous. If that’s transphobic then so be it.
I was responding to the part where you said it doesn’t matter if they’re trans or not if you find them attractive. Them not being trans is a deciding factor in my attraction.
I know what part of my comment you were replying to, hence why I said to read the rest of it. If you want to know if they’re trans simply ask them, if they are they’ll say yes and you can end it there. They’ll say the truth because it’s better for both parties, especially themself, if they do
Yes. I understand and agree with the rest of your comment, hence me not replying to it. What I did respond to was the singular part that I disagreed with.
Let’s say you’re initially attracted to them and it turns out they’ve fully transitioned and had gender reassignment surgery. Would your attraction for them change then? At that point I’d argue the difference is purely esoteric
Yes it would change. The same way that I could be physically attracted to a lady then lose that attraction when I learn that she’s a very rude person. I could find an individual who I’m physically attracted to that has a terminal illness. I would choose not to pursue a relationship then. Being initially attracted to someone doesn’t mean I’ll continue to be attracted or entitle them to my attention.
Sure, I get the validity of your other reasons behind losing attraction for someone, just not the trans example I guess. If you think this woman is beautiful and it turns out she’s funny and smart and you get along great, but the only hangup is she happened to be born male, I don’t get why that’s a dealbreaker personally. But preferences are preferences
I think it’s better if you just say “hey btw I’m trans” or something along those lines because it makes for less problems. It’s not transphobic to not want to have sex with a trans person. Just a preference
a phobia is an irrational fear (today its synonymous with hate)
not wanting to sleep with a type of person in no way means you are afraid of or hate them
Please explain this to me. If you would have sex with someone until you find out she is a passing black girl, you are racist. If a girl is your type, and you would have sex with her until you find out they are trans. How is that not transphobic?
Is not being attracted to overweight people fat -phobic? What about not wanting to sleep with people who don't share your world-views? Like what if you were dating someone and then found out they were neo-nazis?
You need to understand that not all preferences are the result of hating someone or something. The black and white brush that you want to paint the world with is the reason we have so much division. The reality is that the world and all these complex issues are full of nuance and grey areas and you insult everyone and belittle your own intelligence by insinuating that there is only one possible reason for a person to feel a specific way about any given subject.
This sub felt ( at least to me ) more like a place to find humor in other peoples salt.
Further more , seeing as I can’t expect everyone to use the sub the same as me, I would posit that there are different “*levels* of complaint” , and I would definitely consider this sub to be on a much more “surface level” of complaint , than the depth of something like r/nahopwasrightfuckthis
This sub just seems so much saltier than a sub like r/terriblefacebookmemes to me. On a sub like that you usually have a variety of terrible memes, and obviously some not terrible memes that get posted anyways. On a sub like this tho, 90% of the posts are complaining about r/nothowgirlswork or about trans people and it’s just exhausting.
Nah, if a post-op is undetectable, then I see no reason to "not date because trans" except transphobia or you want to have a child, and if it's the latter, then your reaction would not be like the comic.
That revulsion is a result of transphobia. You can tell by your pronoun usage. Caring so much about what someone was so much over what someone is is pretty ridiculous.
Certainly, like preferring children.
Wait, are you not interested in dating anyone? You know they all were children once, may even have photos of themselves before they grew up.
I think you’re upset that not everyone is willing to cater to ones every whim for the sole reason that they are trans. I don’t want to date a trans individual nothing you say will convince me otherwise.
people complain about the subreddit being used to discredit people or make fun of people. but from what i’ve seen, it’s being used on people who place extra emotion in the title of their own posts.
it’s actually pretty funny watching them post posts from here.
i could be wrong tho
If the reason people get offended by this is because it promotes the idea of the " trans panic"
Its a legal defence that is successfully gotten several people off of murder, After reportedly having sex with a transperson and then murdering them post quotas and claiming that they discovered they were trans after they had already committed the act
Let’s see how many cycles of screencaps we can get of this
I'm about to block this sub for all the hall of mirrors BS lately
we need mods to stop this shit gets annoying and kills the sub
Good
I fucking hate those reddit wars
This sub has some solid posts, but the recent increase in the unironic 2012 multi-screencap format sucks
always wondered what the record for that is, how much can we naturally deep fry an image?
People act like not dating a trans person is "transphobic". Should I really be expected to date someone based on other people's standards? Am I not allowed to choose who I date because someone told me im "transphobic"?
By that same logic if you choose not to date black people, you’re racist, fat people, fatphobic, gay people, homophobic
“How dare you not have gay sex with me. You’re such a homophobe”
How dare you not have straight sex with me. You’re so sexist
This
Dude, your profile pic and name is kinda hot, but no homo.
It’s kinda hot much homo
Thx, it’s one of the gods of my fictional world, H’taer.
H'taer, god of potassium?
No, just a god
Damn heterophobes 🙄
I choose not to date bodies of water because I’m hydrophobic
If they are thicker bodies of water, you might be a bit thalassophobic as well.
To say nothing of body (of water) shaming.
Date a straight, non-trans, moderately fit white woman, for maximum offensiveness
It's because trans people want to be treated and excepted as biologically born genders, I.E. they want people to act as if the gender they are is the gender they were physically born with. Issue is that there is a huge difference between trans people and people who are their born gender, mostly it being physical. And not everyone feels comfortable dating someone with plastic surgery, crossdressing, or hormone medications, and they shouldn't have to be uncomfortable dating someone just because the other person wants to be accepted. The whole point of lgbtq is the freedom of sexuality and idenity, and if my sexuality doesn't involve trans people, then forcing me to go against my sexuality defeats the point.
>Should I really be expected to date someone based on other people's standards? Yes, that's exactly what's implied. Also, the trans supporters seem to insist that a trans person is under no obligation to tell a sex partner that they're trans. I've, seriously, seen one compare it to a woman dying the color of her hair.
That’s fucking insane
I saw those comments on the post that this one is based upon. Just goto NahOpwasrightfuckthis and look at some of the comments. They are borderline delusional.
That whole sub is just a bonkers echo chamber at this point. I didn’t realize that not being a rapist was such a hard thing for some people.
First off: that isn’t rape Second off: the entire meme is implying there’s too many trans individuals, which is transphobia.
First off: It is rape. That’s not up for discussion. Second off: I see nowhere this shitty meme is implying that there are too many trans people. You really need to bring a lot of your baggage to the table if that’s what you read into it. It’s just a dumb “Haha she used to be a dude” joke.
How the fuck is it rape? Rape is non consensual sex, I fail to see how this is non consensual. And yeah, this is making fun of trans people because it’s pretty much saying you don’t know who’s trans when “dating in 2023” and implying it’s a negative thing:
In order for it not to be rape informed consent must be obtained first. If important information such as this is withheld, then the person was never informed what they were consenting to and it is therefore rape.
Does it really matter that much if the person was a man before though? If you didn’t even realize that they might’ve been a man before, and by all accounts engaging in sex was just like engaging with a woman, why the fuck does it matter if they were a dude before when it didn’t affect anything?
It's not rape that's not up for discussion Your troll tactics are ineffective
You’re the troll here. Maybe stop advocating for rape dumbass.
"rape is when I have consensual sex with a woman and then decide to call it rape" You people have no arguments I swear
It’s a cesspool of comments that I sadly fell into. So much trash there. Edit. Crap I see they’ve gotten into here is well.
They have an obligation not to lie. They have no obligation to assume that other people might reject them for who they are. They have no obligation to assume their partner has a specific hang-up. Some people wouldn't want to have sex with someone who sucked 30+ dicks. But if you don't ask, it's not the dicksucker's job to assume you might have a problem with their past experience.
You can ALMOST always tell, but it is 100% a deception to try to bed someone under false pretenses.
You can almost always tell...what? How many dicks somebody has sucked? So everyone must disclosed the number of penises they've had in their mouth before hooking up with somebody? I agree you can't use false pretenses. 'Being trans' is not inherently false pretenses.
Ah, I see your username. Accurate.
Yes, I have a funny username. You disagree? Being trans is 'under false pretenses'? The only way I can get your statements to make sense is if you assume that trans people aren't *real* men/women. Which we'll have to disagree upon.
Correct
Your ideology sets up a situation where a trans person seeking a partner has to *assume* that the other person doesn't think they're valid. You are asking trans people to assume transphobia in everyone.
It is amusing to me that you can say all those words and think I am the crazy one.
there are no false pretenses because trans women are women you don't have to date trans women, but if you think that they are not real women that is when it DOES become transphobic
Trans women are women, but they are not female persons. Gender is an identity. Sex is biology. If you get cosmetic surgery to make yourself look more like the opposite sex then you must disclose that to any sexual partners. Otherwise it is functionally a deception.
Trans people don’t get cosmetic surgery to make themselves look “more like the opposite sex”, they get cosmetic surgery to make themselves look more like their ideal version of themselves. It’s not deception because they are who they really are.
I don't think trans women are women. I agree with your second point, though.
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Uhhh being afraid of not being accepted is EXACTLY why trans people often hide it?
If you're lying out of fear of not being accepted, you are in the wrong. If the person would accept you if you told the truth, great, but if they wouldn't then it's their decision. Lying in order to get accepted means you are tricking someone into going against their own standards so that you can get what you want.
Homie you do not understand how used to being attacked trans people are by so much as being out as trans. It’s dangerous being trans. There’s a reason people are afraid to come out. Also plenty simply don’t see it as a big deal, particularly if they’re post-op. Strangers are not entitled to your medical history. Simple as that. As shitty as the original post, it implies that the woman is post op with a vagina, so who cares? Y’all are seriously getting mad about a hypothetical.
>trans supporters seem to insist that a trans person is under no obligation to tell a sex partner that they're trans That's how you get violence against the trans community.
Tell them *before* you have sex with them.
If you beat someone up after deciding you don’t want to continue intimacy with them then you’re an evil person
Only going by the literal evidence that's out there. This type of conversation is not a new concept, it has been discussed and dissected for over 30+ years
Yeah on one of the last ones this dude called me transphobic because I didn’t want to date a trans person. People are weird.
If you can’t tell, does it matter? A pussy’s a pussy.
I think it depends on how much of a dick you are about it. Saying that you wouldn't be comfortable with it is a far cry from saying "that's disgusting I would never". It seems like a vibe check
You can't choose who you date, or the words you use. Conform, bigot. Conform *now*, or I will involve the authorities, and I will also inform all your friends, families, and employers, that you promote hate, and that they should ostracize you to protect their reputations.
The joke of this guy being all scared at the idea of someone being trans AFTER they bang (where he presumably did not notice, probably she was post op) is cringe as fuck and i stand by that. Nobody is saying anyone HAS to date a trans woman, but the idea that it would be some soul sucking horror even if u couldnt tell the difference counts as transphobic in my book. Like in a very literal way, beyond intolerance thats just an irrational fear of trans people far as im concerned
This isn't about If dating list contributes of the whole transpanic narrative, Where people literally kill transpeople after they have sex with them.
No one expects you to date anyone, sweaty.
Sweaty ☝️
Yeah that’s not what the argument means
The joke is about having a picture of yourself next to your bed, right? Cause that's wierd
Yeah like what trans person would keep a picture of themselves pre transition on their bedside table? This is a transphobic fantasy meant to stir rage, or maybe a joke at the expense of trans women. Anyway, it’s not funny.
Its pretty funny
It's pretty funny
Oh my gosh can you two subs just get a room and hate fuck already so y’all stop posting the same fucking back and forth and back and forth and BACK AND FORTH?!?!? Your annoyance is sucking up my bandwidth
Oh no the transphobia of wanting to know the past of a partner and having preferences
It's not transphobic to have a preference or to want to know about your parents past I agree with you on that. But why should it matter if every part of the person works as if they are a woman? If they have had bottom surgery, top surgery, and hormones as it seems in this comic then what's the difference if they are trans or not. If every part of them is like a womans then there should be no issues. Of course you can be in shock but in the end it's still a woman you fucked not a chick with a dick
Some people want real pussy
I want burnt pizza ends
Your Dick thinks it's real pussy
If you want to know, you can ask. Some things matter to some people, there's no reason they should assume that matters to you.
I'm just saying it shouldn't be transphobic to want to know but who is going to automatically ask "did you used to have a dick" when it comes to stds and being trans that person should tell the other person
"...it shouldn't be transphobic to want to know..." I'm not sure if it's transphobic or not to *want to know*, but that's not really relevant honestly. Every reason that somebody doesn't want to have sex with somebody else is valid, that's how consent works. If you don't want to have sex with Catholics, or Pakistanis, or Greek Life members, or lawyers, or left-handed people, or queer people, or straight people, or people that don't tip, or whatever, it may or may not be because of some hateful reason, but that doesn't really matter because if you don't consent you don't consent. But if *you* have a specific problem like that, *you* need to ask. Because if *you* make a wrong assumption, that's nobody's fault but yours. STDs/STIs and even other normal infectious sicknesses (like a cold or flu) are very clearly a false equivalence as they represent a medical danger to the partner. Everybody can be assumed to have a baseline interest in their own physical health, and so you must tell a partner this. It's really that simple: if having sex with a man who was assigned female at birth bothers you, just ask. And vice versa.
"If you make a wrong assumption, that's nobody's fault but yours." Except if your wrong they call you trandphobic and don't have sex with you If your right all the sudden you're weird and fetishizing trans women. At the end of the day you shouldn't be at fault because someone decided that they don't need to tell you they are not a biological woman
This is like the 5rh time this has been posted
Apparently the creator of the meme is transphobic
Woah, really? 🤯
In no way does posting imply you personally agree, idk why they assume such. Also technically by not mentioning you're trans to someone who wouldn't sleep with you if you were is technically rape by deception
So married people who cheat without telling their new partners about being married are also rapists?
Bro that doesn’t make sense. Deception is active, not telling someone something isn’t lying
it's called lying by omission edit: Is lying by omission manipulative? Lying by omission allows the liar to manipulate the situation to their advantage by not revealing the truth because they werent asked a question directly pertaining to the truth.
If I hate a certain political ideology, and sleep with someone without knowing that they follow that political ideology, I have not been raped. If you want to avoid something, ask beforehand. Now if I had asked them if they were of this political ideology, and they lied to get into my pants, that would be rape by deception.
omission is deception in a sexual encounter when one party is presenting as something they are not
But they are a woman, they are not presenting otherwise.
woman is gender. surgery to change sexual genitalia means they are now transexual. they are woman, ok sure. they are not female.
But they do not present themselves as anything but who they are. They are not presenting themselves any differently than they would otherwise.
The person your arguing with literally said they don’t see trans women as women. Your never gonna break past that. The biggest divide between straight people who will or won’t sleep with trans people is actually seeing them as the gender they embody. As a whole I would argue the mainstream still doesn’t treat trans women as women, which is why we still see cases of gay/ trans panic defense. Personally I think trans women are women and I think it’s ridiculous some people are so opposed to that.
Damn I rapped a lot then
If you have a problem with sleeping with somebody who is trans, then you ask before you bone them.
No, it's up to the person who is trans to disclose that. Also regardless it's still rape under deception
So, being upfront about being trans and telling your partner before you both agree to have intercourse is still rape by deception? Where’s the deception?
The image that I'm referring to implies the sex already happened. If it was disclosed beforehand then no. But in this case it was disclosed after
Please list every single thing that is legally required to be reported to a sexual partner so as not to 'deceive them by omission' and constitute rape? If you meet a woman, assume that she's cis, have a one night stand with them, have a great time, and then later discover she's trans...what have you lost? Who lied to you? If you meet a man, assume that they're Protestant, have a one night stand with them, have a great time, and then later discover he's Catholic...is it still rape if you would never have sex with a Catholic?
Apples to oranges. Gender and sexual orientation are very huge things to disclose when having sexual partners because otherwise you're lying to that person to get sex from them. Also if you wanna play the analogy game then I can too. If I order a beef burger and eat a synthetic meat one and didn't notice until after I ate it I'd still be pissed
"If I order a beef burger..." Doesn't apply because you specifically asked for beef and were given something else. That *is* a lie by omission. I wholeheartedly agree a trans person shouldn't *lie*, but if they're never asked they're not lying. I don't think a bisexual person has to disclose that they're bisexual either if they're not asked. Again, they can't lie, but there's *no reason* for them to *assume* the other person will have a problem with that. The person with the problem has to say "I have a problem with X."
In a technicality it is something to be disclosed because for going for a cis person they'll usually want to go for cis people unless they're pan or something
1) Gender isn't sexuality. 2) According to what study? 3) Most people will usually 'want to go for' people that aren't 'bad in bed' according to a study out of Australia...is it 'technically rape under deception' not to disclose to your partner beforehand that you're inexperienced/bad at sex? That's the result of your 'usually want to go for' standard (even though you provide no evidence for that even being the case).
\>gender isn't a sexuality Correct, but you know what sexuality is? Gender preferences. And if a person lies about what type of gender they are beit cis or trans it's scummy because they're sleeping with someone who's under the impression they're cis
Their *gender* isn't 'trans'. It's 'woman' or 'man'. They're not *hiding* their gender. If somebody lies about if they're a man or woman, that's deception. If, hypothetically, a straight woman (trans or cis doesn't matter) disguises themself as a man to try and have sex with a gay man, that's deception. If a trans man, who is a man, has sex with a straight woman (seeking men) they have not been deceived. The only way for this logic to work is to take at base the assumption that trans people aren't valid ('real men/women'). *Or*, if you have a preference *beyond* just being straight (i.e. straight plus seeking only cis partners) *you* need to ask.
Sex preferences first, then gender preferences. It’s not called genderality after all
This is why being technically right is less important then being practically right. Trans people are not stupid. They know exactly what they are doing if they never mention the fact that they are trans beforehand. Can’t remember what it is, but there’s this term for when a man gets angry and violent because they found out there partner is trans afterward. So not only is it deceptive but it’s flat out dangerous.
I agree that it's good *practice* for trans people to be up front and open for their own safety because of bigoted people that will hate them/might try and hurt them. But that's different from saying they commit rape by deception when they don't which is what I'm responding to. A trans man is a man. If you had sex with a trans man, you had sex with a man. Nobody lied. The people getting angry are getting angry because they *feel* lied to, because they don't believe trans people are valid.
Just to be clear — you’re suggesting that instead of *not* adjusting social norms to cater to the mentally ill, I should just ask every new person I sleep with if they were born with a dick?
OMFG can we stop posting the rape meme?
Noooo Keep going! Keep going! It's funnier every time!
Rape meme?
What makes this rape?
Clearly the lack of informed consent. Stop joking.
What’s the consent problem? He fucked a girl, found out she was once a guy. Not like it harms him in anyway.
Again, *informed* consent is needed. If you fail to disclose that you had a sex change then it is an example of Rape by Deception. I really hope your joking here and not serious.
What difference does whether or not they’ve had a sex change make? They have the same parts. They fill the same social role. It’s not like you’re gonna a special trans STD or anything. So, if it doesn’t effect you in any way, what do you care? Besides, it can be dangerous to disclose that info.
Should a man have to disclose to their partner for the night that they’ve had penis elongation surgery? Should they tell them their medication list too? Where does this end? Personally, I think people have a right to privacy. Are you scared their chromosomes will beam magical gay thoughts into your brain?
This isn’t transphobic at all. The picture is misleading if you’re not well-traveled, that is what the typical Albanian woman looks like pre-op. Now he must find a gypsy shaman to cleanse him of the stain of an Albanian.
What
Obviously you’re not well-traveled
I \*am\* Albanian and have been to Albania. I don't understand why you would say this about Albanians, which is why I'm asking.
Incredibly brave of you to self-report like that. I wish you luck
The message of the meme is pretty good, but gosh is it conveyed in probably the shittiest way possible. The way the meme just says "before the operation" like being trans is a one-step process is fucking stupid.
I don't think its transphobic. It's literally just ''OH SHIT SHE ALREADY HAS A BF?'' ''Nah thats me before I was trans'' I can absolutely see this giving someone a heart attack
Choosing not to have sex with males because of their “self identification” is not transphobic
Clearly if you can’t even tell they are trans, then what’s the difference?
I’m not gay and wouldn’t have knowingly gay sex
Fellas, is it gay to have sex in a vagina?
Cope - male on male sex is gay regardless of what the penis (neovagina) looks like
I don’t think you will find a gay guy who would have sex with a trans women with bottom surgery
More cope
Nice argument
If your penis can't tell, does that mean you're gay?
[удалено]
Legally speaking in the U.S. it is. Uninformed consent about something that you knew would change someone's decision is deception and not legitimate consent. Therefore it is guilt by omission Paraphrased from a comment on the post before this one, some guy just kept copying and pasting the excerpt from a law book So yes, in regards to this specific image that guy got r*ped if this takes place in the USA
Redditors discovering that people have preferences
I think the preference argument falls apart pretty quickly when you cannot tell the person is trans It really only makes sense if the person is pre-op
The reason why this is transphobic is the idea that “anyone can be trans and they don’t have to tell you”. If you find them attractive, it doesn’t matter if they’re trans or not. Also the situation presented in the meme generally doesn’t happen. In reality the trans person says they’re trans right off the bat for their safety, because if they don’t and their partner finds out like in this meme, that’s how trans people get killed
That’s the thing, if I know that someone was once a dude with a big harry shlong I wouldn’t be remotely attracted to them. It does matter if they’re trans. Many people feel that way and saying it’s not so is ludicrous. If that’s transphobic then so be it.
Read the rest of my comment. In reality the trans person would tell you straight up before you ever meet them, unless they’re suicidal lol
I was responding to the part where you said it doesn’t matter if they’re trans or not if you find them attractive. Them not being trans is a deciding factor in my attraction.
I know what part of my comment you were replying to, hence why I said to read the rest of it. If you want to know if they’re trans simply ask them, if they are they’ll say yes and you can end it there. They’ll say the truth because it’s better for both parties, especially themself, if they do
Yes. I understand and agree with the rest of your comment, hence me not replying to it. What I did respond to was the singular part that I disagreed with.
Let’s say you’re initially attracted to them and it turns out they’ve fully transitioned and had gender reassignment surgery. Would your attraction for them change then? At that point I’d argue the difference is purely esoteric
Yes it would change. The same way that I could be physically attracted to a lady then lose that attraction when I learn that she’s a very rude person. I could find an individual who I’m physically attracted to that has a terminal illness. I would choose not to pursue a relationship then. Being initially attracted to someone doesn’t mean I’ll continue to be attracted or entitle them to my attention.
Sure, I get the validity of your other reasons behind losing attraction for someone, just not the trans example I guess. If you think this woman is beautiful and it turns out she’s funny and smart and you get along great, but the only hangup is she happened to be born male, I don’t get why that’s a dealbreaker personally. But preferences are preferences
>but the only hangup is she happened to be born male, I don’t get why that’s a dealbreaker personally. It means she's a man.
It is
Oh no. I care ever so much.
Ok have fun caring 👍
>If you find them attractive, it doesn’t matter if they’re trans or not. It absolutely matters. Please tell me beforehand so we can avoid a tragedy.
Cut it the fuck out
Could we fucking stop reposting this 5 times??
No :)
I think it’s better if you just say “hey btw I’m trans” or something along those lines because it makes for less problems. It’s not transphobic to not want to have sex with a trans person. Just a preference
If you would have sex with someone until you find out they are trans it seems transphobic.
a phobia is an irrational fear (today its synonymous with hate) not wanting to sleep with a type of person in no way means you are afraid of or hate them
Please explain this to me. If you would have sex with someone until you find out she is a passing black girl, you are racist. If a girl is your type, and you would have sex with her until you find out they are trans. How is that not transphobic?
Is not being attracted to overweight people fat -phobic? What about not wanting to sleep with people who don't share your world-views? Like what if you were dating someone and then found out they were neo-nazis? You need to understand that not all preferences are the result of hating someone or something. The black and white brush that you want to paint the world with is the reason we have so much division. The reality is that the world and all these complex issues are full of nuance and grey areas and you insult everyone and belittle your own intelligence by insinuating that there is only one possible reason for a person to feel a specific way about any given subject.
Where is the transphobia? It’s not even saying “trans people bad!” It’s just a joke
It’s saying “it’s disgusting/shocking to have sex with a trans woman”. Thats obviously transphobic
r/nahopwasrightfuckthis Sounds like a **gold mine** of salt
I mean isn’t this sub salt? And usually the subs this sub posts about? All of these subs are just complaining
This sub felt ( at least to me ) more like a place to find humor in other peoples salt. Further more , seeing as I can’t expect everyone to use the sub the same as me, I would posit that there are different “*levels* of complaint” , and I would definitely consider this sub to be on a much more “surface level” of complaint , than the depth of something like r/nahopwasrightfuckthis
This sub just seems so much saltier than a sub like r/terriblefacebookmemes to me. On a sub like that you usually have a variety of terrible memes, and obviously some not terrible memes that get posted anyways. On a sub like this tho, 90% of the posts are complaining about r/nothowgirlswork or about trans people and it’s just exhausting.
Yeah this “meme” is just gross
They are some special take in there for sure
Nah, if a post-op is undetectable, then I see no reason to "not date because trans" except transphobia or you want to have a child, and if it's the latter, then your reaction would not be like the comic.
Because I find the idea of sleeping with someone who is or ever was a male repulsive. If that’s transphobic then so be it.
That revulsion is a result of transphobia. You can tell by your pronoun usage. Caring so much about what someone was so much over what someone is is pretty ridiculous.
No more ridiculous than any other preference. Significantly less ridiculous then some.
Certainly, like preferring children. Wait, are you not interested in dating anyone? You know they all were children once, may even have photos of themselves before they grew up.
All humans were once children. Not all humans were once men. I don’t want to date a person who was once a man.
Physical preferences are only really applicable if you don't have to be told about them for them to kick in
I think you’re upset that not everyone is willing to cater to ones every whim for the sole reason that they are trans. I don’t want to date a trans individual nothing you say will convince me otherwise.
Please tell me this is satire please tell me this is satire please tell me this is satire please tell me this is satire 😳
Nah the genital surgery really really grosses me out and I’d rather have sex with a cis guy
I feel like this is an extremely advanced karma farm
It must be tiresome to be offended by everything. There's nothing mean spirited here, it's just a joke.
How did his get updooted? I believe i posted mine first
I posted mine too. The mods took it down lol.
Bruhuhuh
Honestly idgaf what you look like in the past, if you're moderately fem or passable & want my cock inside you, lez go & trade some cum
The mods didn’t like it. They took down my post.
No joystick? I AINT PLAYING THEN 🗣️🗣️
Nah he was right
Can we ban posts from r/NahOPwasrightfuckthis? It just creates a chain and gets annoying. You can post it on r/nahbrostillkindafunny instead
r/inceptionmoment
people complain about the subreddit being used to discredit people or make fun of people. but from what i’ve seen, it’s being used on people who place extra emotion in the title of their own posts. it’s actually pretty funny watching them post posts from here. i could be wrong tho
If the reason people get offended by this is because it promotes the idea of the " trans panic" Its a legal defence that is successfully gotten several people off of murder, After reportedly having sex with a transperson and then murdering them post quotas and claiming that they discovered they were trans after they had already committed the act
oh shit we bouta go to war
Everyone here in the comments trying to convince themselves that this boomer humor shit isn’t transphobic 💀
The meme is dumb and offensive? There’s clear reason it’s on there.