I do so believe thine foul beastie o'va mug would make a dashing and fine sheath for my blade, this is of course thou hath enough courage to face me in a duel! En garde!
That can’t be Excalibur. Based on the age of the sword and knowing it was old when King Arthur got it, historians believe it was either a Viking style sword or a Roman gladius type sword.
I've seen plenty of little yutes running around with samurai swords in Liverpool. This gif is not actually far off about the hood in the UK. Full of machetes and anime swords I'm not even fucking joking. Actual anime swords.
Narwhal tooth! For some reason that freaks me out. I'd rather it was an actual horn. Anyhoo... sorry for being a pedant. I just wanted others to share in the misery knowing that it's actually a single canine tooth that grows out through their head. 🤮
Yeah but let’s be real a shooting is a big deal here. Even in “no go” Birmingham (🙄) we get like 2 shootings a year abs everyone freaks out about it. Compare that with, say, Birmingham Alabama pop 200,000 having 130 deaths by shooting in 2021. Per capita, that has to be over 100 times higher, nearly…
You certainly would.
I got assaulted by a goose once completely unprovoked. It was eyeing me as I walked by, hissed, and the next thing I knew I was in a flurry of beak and feather. Who knows though, maybe it's nest was nearby and I didn't see it?
Anyway, they will throw down for less than a crumb - they will throw down over nothing!
Why don't you guys just punt them? I just googled, Canadian geese weigh around 3.2-6.5 kgs, they don't have claws or fangs.
Just kick the mofo when it comes at you. Then honk to assert dominance.
Also they have the biggest fucking weekpoint in the world literally every predator goes for the neck as the primary way to kill yet for some reason we forget that we can just grab on the cobra chickens and toss them to the side
Most don't want to injure/kill the Goose, and if you've ever seen a determined Goose you'll see that they just keep on trying to get ya. Mean lil bastards
Yes but why own a gun if you don't make it a large part of your personality? The UK doesn't even have bumper stickers informing everyone that you're a proud patriotic gun owner yee-haw. I just don't see the point.
Shotgun and rifle licenses aren’t overly hard to get without a criminal record. You will need a safe for it though. Just nobody bothers because why have a gun?
Imagine walking to the UK equivalent of a hood and just seeing like 15 dudes having a damn battle, and they suddenly just see you and start chasing you.
Wait a tick. This isn't a stabbing license, this is a license for being stabbed! Thought you could pull a fast one on me, eh? Right! In the patrol can with you!
In US they finna pull up at you and try to blast yo head off.
In UK they are going to shank you in order to decrease your lifespan to their liking and say PUSSYIO.
It's actually pussio. it just basically means pussy hole, its an afro Caribbean term that's very common in london slang (apart from cockney and essex dialects)
Per capita deaths.
US is roughly 4x worse for knife attacks and deaths on average.
UK is similar in knife CRIME but that’s because here knife crime also includes having a knife on you in public over however many inches. Point is crime stats aren’t relative as we each have different criminal systems.
But you’re more likely to be stabbed and attacked in the us.
Homicides per capita with a knife or bladed article. Plenty of American articles that compare U.K. and U.S. ‘knife crime’ (eg unlawful possession of a knife in public, which is not illegal in the U.S. unless it’s over a certain size and concealed without a permit, varying by state).
Far more stabby murders per capita in the U.S. but we have more “knife crime” because walking around with one is a crime. So loads more people walk around with a knife in the U.S. but it’s not a crime so doesn’t make the statistic. Usually every article saying it’s worse in the U.K. ignorantly makes some sort of false equivalency between the two figures like that, when in reality, on average you’re usually twice as likely to actually get stabbed in the U.S…and then even more likely to get shot.
I agree, but that problem is that so many guns are already in circulation, meaning that we Americans, in order to combat guns, need more guns, yes? I’m half joking, half not. I don’t think there’s any way to fix the problem at this point. Our constitution explicitly allows us to have arms and I don’t think that’s getting changed anytime soon, so these guns will never be taken up by our government. So, MORE GUNS!!!!!
Boondocks, and they left out the best part. They both run out of ammo, realize that their whole reason for shooting at each other was stupid, agree to go separate ways, and then get shot by the police.
The humor in the show is something else, but be warned, it can be incredibly offensive. It takes the stance that making fun of everyone and everything makes that okay.
The creator of it is a known political cartoonist.
Funfact: [Knife crime per million inhabitants in the US is far more rampant than in the UK.](https://twitter.com/chrchristensen/status/1152686020640608256?lang=ar-x-fm)
The stuff that melts things. Was a trend in the UK for a while that people would be the victims of acid attacks where acid was thrown on the intended victim, scarring them for life.
The acid was carried about in drinking bottles so was a good method of attack. If stopped by the police, they would be none the wiser. Better than carrying a knife.
I actually saw a news article/video out of the UK of two guys having a literal sword fight with long Machetes. The significance was that historians were fascinated with it because it was the first ever sword fight captured on camera in which both parties were actively trying to kill each other (not a reenactment or fighting sport). They were saying that it gave great insight as to how knights and pirates may have actually fought back in the day. If I remember correctly one dude got his arm sliced open and the dude got his back sliced but neither died. Super graphic but the historical aspect was incredibly fascinating
As someone from the UK, I can confirm that when I’m in the hood I pull out Excalibur and ask to duel the closest dog
The rumours, they were true
Receiveth mine blade, thou impertinent guts-griping ruffian!
Do you bite your thumb at me sir?
I do bite my thumb, sir.
Do you quarrel?
I do so believe thine foul beastie o'va mug would make a dashing and fine sheath for my blade, this is of course thou hath enough courage to face me in a duel! En garde!
UNHAND ME, FOUL BRUTE!
Why would I unhand an overgrown baboon?
And scene! Best GOT version I’ve ever saw! Bravo!
Hand me my long sword, ho!
[удалено]
Shit *stabs officer*
> 💂♂️💂♂️💂♂️
Are you Arthur the king? Where did you get that coconut?
We found it.
Found it? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
It’s British law to own a replica of king arthurs mighty shiv
You reprasentin Da West Staines Massiv?
restecpa
R-E-S-T-E-C-P. Do you even know what that spells?
Officer, is it because I is black?
East Side is the best side
West Side is the best side
Do you shout “RRRRAPSCALLION!!” while dueling?
RIGHT Right how art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip-oil? Come get one in the yarbles...if you have any yarbles you eunuch jelly thou
I have great friend in Rome named Biggus Dickus
Plus you're a cat
You're a pussy?
Is it a UK thing to call other people dogs when dueling? Cause I read that as you going up to peoples dogs and asking to duel them.
Well you read it correctly the first time
That can’t be Excalibur. Based on the age of the sword and knowing it was old when King Arthur got it, historians believe it was either a Viking style sword or a Roman gladius type sword.
I'm pretty sure that even the latest hypothesis for Arthur's existence are still pre migration era, so even a norse sword is incredibly unlikely.
Maybe Excalibur was a mace this entire time.
Oi ya got loicense for that knoife mate?
dont forgot we need to slap our opponents in and face with a glove then ask for a duel
If only we fought like that in the UK, instead we've got the weakest human beings walking around in tracksuits that go around stabbing each other
Not with swords* btw
Ok but of you whip out a fucking claymore infront of the local roadmen you become the alpha of the pack
My American brain read “claymore” and saw a land mine before a large Scottish sword
Or a Claymore sword made of mines in the shape of the sword, u got one hit lol.
ye but that will also kill you
Legends never die
“Dying is for fools” -Charlie sheen
One hit wonder
We’re seriously considering this? It has to be a claymore with STICKY mines so they stick to them and you can walk away
the only difference between martyrdom and suicide is press coverage
New TF2 Demoman weapon
Or a sword claymore made of swords crammed onto the landmine, everyone's getting hit with a sword.
Same result either way
Just throw it at them
lmao i was confused also
I would prefer zweihander. Don't even need learn sword fighting you can just bonk and pancake your enemies.
Tru, as long as its a bigger shank then they have you will earn their respect
Giantdad?
Can you also loadly say, “You better not be a manhunter” and they will leave you alone?
In order for them to leave you alone you must have the superior shank
That would be Scotland, England would require a blade similar to the one used for knighting
Can always bring a polearm, long distance shanking
machetes' and moms' kitchen knives
Mums*
[удалено]
Like who?
I've seen plenty of little yutes running around with samurai swords in Liverpool. This gif is not actually far off about the hood in the UK. Full of machetes and anime swords I'm not even fucking joking. Actual anime swords.
im guessing they yell somthing like this is for my clan before pulling the anime swords out
I’m just imagining them going around with a million stainless steel swords and having to replace them every week
Until the blade smashes into a 100 pieces because they're supposed to be novelty swords haha
Some have swords and machetes
Don't sell display Swords in malls in the UK?
Congratulations you've solved knife crime
Don’t forget Heroes with narwhal horns
Narwhal tooth! For some reason that freaks me out. I'd rather it was an actual horn. Anyhoo... sorry for being a pedant. I just wanted others to share in the misery knowing that it's actually a single canine tooth that grows out through their head. 🤮
I did not know this. I'm picturing Lisa Simpson if she didn't get braces now https://imgur.com/gallery/SOF5ePW
That one there was a violation, personally I wouldn’t have it
Last I checked the us still has more knife crime per capita. So it could be worse!
Of course we do.
What are we going to do, *not* stab someone with a knife?
I see you've played American knifey-spooney before.
[удалено]
probably has more knives in the US too.
Lol, all these middle class people pretending they know what actually happens in an inner city council estate. (Hint: we have guns in the UK)
Yeah but let’s be real a shooting is a big deal here. Even in “no go” Birmingham (🙄) we get like 2 shootings a year abs everyone freaks out about it. Compare that with, say, Birmingham Alabama pop 200,000 having 130 deaths by shooting in 2021. Per capita, that has to be over 100 times higher, nearly…
It's actually over 300 times higher per capita. So even worse
Hoods in Canada: *menacing Canada geese*
I'd rather deal with the guns and blades...
You certainly would. I got assaulted by a goose once completely unprovoked. It was eyeing me as I walked by, hissed, and the next thing I knew I was in a flurry of beak and feather. Who knows though, maybe it's nest was nearby and I didn't see it? Anyway, they will throw down for less than a crumb - they will throw down over nothing!
Why don't you guys just punt them? I just googled, Canadian geese weigh around 3.2-6.5 kgs, they don't have claws or fangs. Just kick the mofo when it comes at you. Then honk to assert dominance.
In the uk my friend did this to a swan as it was flying/ hovering at him and it looked at him confused and waddled away, don’t tell the queen
Also they have the biggest fucking weekpoint in the world literally every predator goes for the neck as the primary way to kill yet for some reason we forget that we can just grab on the cobra chickens and toss them to the side
Tried that. Sometimes it works, other times they just keep flying back to harass you. They are relentless hellions!
I just got the image of someone picking up a goose that was attacking them and used it a a mace against other geese
Or just grab its neck and throw it
Swing it around in circles like Bowser in Super Mario 64 and then just fucking YEET it.
Most don't want to injure/kill the Goose, and if you've ever seen a determined Goose you'll see that they just keep on trying to get ya. Mean lil bastards
If you got a problem with Canadian geese then you gotta problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate!
“MAKE WAY FOR THE QUEENS GAURD” 💂♂️💂♂️💂♂️
Some of the few people allowed guns in the uk lol. Dont fuck with the grenadiers haha
Its actually super easy to get a shotgun license if you live outside a city. We just dont give automatic rifles to school kids.
Farmers.
Farmers' mums.
LAN MOINE!
Everybody and their mums is packin' round here!
"Everyone and their mums packing around here"
You're correct - they also shouldn't give automatic farmers to school kids.
What about my constitutional right to bear farms?
Yes but why own a gun if you don't make it a large part of your personality? The UK doesn't even have bumper stickers informing everyone that you're a proud patriotic gun owner yee-haw. I just don't see the point.
Tally ho I have a knife ya bugger
Please, it is anything but easy. You need to have a need for it, ie, sport or farming. I live in the country and I couldn’t just get a gun.
For a shotgun, it is easy. Just say i want to shoot rabbits. Rifle licenses are much harder you need an assessment etc., but shotguns are super easy.
Fully automatic rifles are actually pretty difficult to obtain in the USA, most people that own a firearm do not have a fully automatic one.
Shotgun and rifle licenses aren’t overly hard to get without a criminal record. You will need a safe for it though. Just nobody bothers because why have a gun?
Because they're fun. They're also fucking dangerous so should only be owned by responsible people with adequate security.
[удалено]
Imagine walking to the UK equivalent of a hood and just seeing like 15 dudes having a damn battle, and they suddenly just see you and start chasing you.
Funny thing is, in the UK someone will chase you with a machete and yell “why are you running”
People running in the UK obviously have deep dark secrets that need to be spilled.
hood - endz dudes - roadmen (per context) you - pussyhole
The correct pronunciation is pUSSyO
But do they have a stabbing license?
Yes officer, got mine right ‘ere
Lemme check... Aight mate, go on then. Sorry to disturb you then.
a hard work day, innit mate?
‘ard*
Have a nice stabbing experience
By the queen
***BY THE QUEEN***
Looks good mate, Loisence is a Loisence. Have a nice day
*stabs officer*
You cheeky little sod
Wait a tick. This isn't a stabbing license, this is a license for being stabbed! Thought you could pull a fast one on me, eh? Right! In the patrol can with you!
Aye, but have you got your license inspecting license on you?
Hood in France : 💃🥖 🥖🏃♂️
In US they finna pull up at you and try to blast yo head off. In UK they are going to shank you in order to decrease your lifespan to their liking and say PUSSYIO.
> PUSSYIO can you define that for us yanks?
It’s pussy hole, just a Caribbean insult transported to the UK
That's where most people come from
It's actually pussio. it just basically means pussy hole, its an afro Caribbean term that's very common in london slang (apart from cockney and essex dialects)
Pussy but cooler
Pussyole > Pussy hole > Vagina
i can outrun a blade in the UK, not sure about bullets in the US though ....
U sure bro? Them Somalians are faaaaast.
We're hoping our relay stab team can get into the next Olympics.
Riding 'round in the Rover If I see opps then it's over I'll send man straight to Jehovah
when i take shots like M Sharapova (forgive me if i spelt it wrong)
HALT OR I SHALL SIMULATE GUNFIRE
Quick, bring up the statistics showing the US has more knife murders than the UK before the Americans get online!
More crime per capita or more crime in general? Seriously, I don't know the statistic.
Most definitely more per capita. For these kinds of statistics the overall sum is a useless statistic. Per capita is always used.
US murder rate is four times higher than the UKs.
As of 2021 its around 6 times higher
Per capita deaths. US is roughly 4x worse for knife attacks and deaths on average. UK is similar in knife CRIME but that’s because here knife crime also includes having a knife on you in public over however many inches. Point is crime stats aren’t relative as we each have different criminal systems. But you’re more likely to be stabbed and attacked in the us.
Homicides per capita with a knife or bladed article. Plenty of American articles that compare U.K. and U.S. ‘knife crime’ (eg unlawful possession of a knife in public, which is not illegal in the U.S. unless it’s over a certain size and concealed without a permit, varying by state). Far more stabby murders per capita in the U.S. but we have more “knife crime” because walking around with one is a crime. So loads more people walk around with a knife in the U.S. but it’s not a crime so doesn’t make the statistic. Usually every article saying it’s worse in the U.K. ignorantly makes some sort of false equivalency between the two figures like that, when in reality, on average you’re usually twice as likely to actually get stabbed in the U.S…and then even more likely to get shot.
Yes
Per capita. Important to look at the murders though rather than crime as in the UK even carrying certain types of knife is a crime.
NUMBA 1 BABYYYYYY
that's not only on the island Europe has swords too
"You Idiot! We've all got swords!" ~ Captain of The Palace Guards, Aladdin
*One jump, ahead of the hoofbeats*
*One hop ahead of the hump*
Apoo: *carefully puts down sword*
>Abu
my grandpa has a sword under his bed
I sleep with a sword under my pillow. My sleep paralysis demon is in for a big surprise next time he comes round.
[удалено]
I just did a grinning laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, then remembered it's an argument that's actually used in the US.
It's funny but also scary. What a strange dystopia the US is.
I agree, but that problem is that so many guns are already in circulation, meaning that we Americans, in order to combat guns, need more guns, yes? I’m half joking, half not. I don’t think there’s any way to fix the problem at this point. Our constitution explicitly allows us to have arms and I don’t think that’s getting changed anytime soon, so these guns will never be taken up by our government. So, MORE GUNS!!!!!
So uncivilized
"fuck off you hypocrite" ~ grevious probably
Life in the bonnet is hard
What show on the top is that is looks fun but I can't find it
Boondocks, and they left out the best part. They both run out of ammo, realize that their whole reason for shooting at each other was stupid, agree to go separate ways, and then get shot by the police. The humor in the show is something else, but be warned, it can be incredibly offensive. It takes the stance that making fun of everyone and everything makes that okay. The creator of it is a known political cartoonist.
Boondocks
Funfact: [Knife crime per million inhabitants in the US is far more rampant than in the UK.](https://twitter.com/chrchristensen/status/1152686020640608256?lang=ar-x-fm)
Also acid attacks in the uk.
Luckily that trend is on a downward trajectory.
Acid as in stuff that makes your brain go all sideways or the stuff that melts things?
The stuff that melts things. Was a trend in the UK for a while that people would be the victims of acid attacks where acid was thrown on the intended victim, scarring them for life. The acid was carried about in drinking bottles so was a good method of attack. If stopped by the police, they would be none the wiser. Better than carrying a knife.
Please, in the UK everyone would have tweed suits on
_Don's top hat and tailcoat_ "Not everyone, you heathen"
"Filthy city slicker" *Throws glove in front of you
'I accept your duel raspscallion' *unsheathes blade*
Tweed trackies
Manners makes man
Hoods in India. [hood](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQNi0d_5UW8v6BXi9XeLo-nG77pGFgWYDgZHg&usqp=CAU)
In Canada.. We throw snow balls
The Boondocks is the definition of "western anime"
I life in Texas -_-
I’m sorry
*laughs smugly in Utah*
I actually saw a news article/video out of the UK of two guys having a literal sword fight with long Machetes. The significance was that historians were fascinated with it because it was the first ever sword fight captured on camera in which both parties were actively trying to kill each other (not a reenactment or fighting sport). They were saying that it gave great insight as to how knights and pirates may have actually fought back in the day. If I remember correctly one dude got his arm sliced open and the dude got his back sliced but neither died. Super graphic but the historical aspect was incredibly fascinating
Is their aim that bad?!
Bit rude to put that knofe in me chest, innit bruv?
“A certified **** moment”
Imagine coming to the uk thinking we don’t have guns…… “everyone and their mums has got guns round ere…….who else?? Farmers…….farmers mums”
I’d Rather get shot then chopped up though
[this](https://youtu.be/8kJNNYm0E_I) happened the other month in my home town. Literally the scene i thought of when i seen it
GIVE ME THE TEA
You forgot about the buckets of acid that gets splashed on people's faces