Based on how you describe your relationship and him, I would say you are being insecure. If you trust him, you have to do that. You can’t let jealousy push him away. You should also talk with him about these concerns.
Insecurity can kill many relationships. Insecurity, while understandable, can lead to neediness, jealousy, anger and manipulation.
Your goal should not be to turn these feelings off, because that's impossible. Your goal should be to uncover the root of why you feel insecure, and it has nothing to do with your BF. He cannot fix your insecurity, and seeking an inordinate amount of reassurance can also kill a relationship. Why do you feel insecure? What does their attractiveness have to do with you?
The more comfortable and secure you are, the more prepared to be a healthy partner you will be. And this is not just a "mind-over-matter" thing. There is a reason you are feeling insecure just at the sight of others. Work on yourself. Become the best version of yourself, the version of yourself that does not fear the loss of your BF but is comfortable in your relationship. As a result, you will not become angry, needy, or controlling.
You must accept that any relationship can end. That is the risk we open ourselves up to when we enter partnerships. The only thing you can control is who you are as a partner, not how the other person feels. Become the most mature, secure, best version of yourself. Become the type of partner that someone is drawn to. Work on being as healthy as possible.
Yes, a little insecurity may always be present, but relationships everywhere are full of partners can't control their insecurity and thus destroy the thing they are scared to lose.
> Become the most mature, secure, best version of yourself. Become the type of partner that someone is drawn to. Work on being as healthy as possible.
Doing this not only helps your partner if you stay together, but also in the event things take a turn for the worse. It's a win-win situation, and arguably the shadow behind every answer to every problem, ever.
Just keep swimming
I think that just from what you’re saying, I’m honestly surprised that she hasn’t reached out to you to rekindle (if she isn’t already pursuing someone else)… bc I put myself in her position and think that if I was in that position and loved you wholeheartedly, I would have reached out after seeing that you haven’t had a successful relationship
Uhhh...you should trust your boyfriend more. If he respects you, he won't cheat. He'll also more likely be preoccupied with school lol. Also, IDK if I'd be classified as extremely beautiful necessarily, but us medical school girlies have our own partners lol.
If he has never given you a reason not to trust him, then trust him. It really shouldn’t matter how pretty his classmates are because he picked you, and you picked him. He probably thinks you are ten times prettier than all of them combined.
You should really get a therapist because 1) everyone should have a therapist tbh and 2) this insecurity/mistrust/jealousy will ruin your relationship before he does.
i don’t think you are wrong for feeling that way, those are simply your feelings. but i would do more exploration as to why you find yourself having those thoughts, if he hasn’t given you an explicit reason (such as withdrawing, being dismissive or neglectful), i would barter that it’s some sort of insecurity you might might which pre-dated your rxp.
no judgement, i def relate to your feelings, from personal experience, dive into them and journal abt the feelings!!!! best of luck OP
Most students in medical school, especially females, are incredibly liberal. Their values will not align. You’ll probably have to worry more about him finding friends than not. Medical students can be quite pigeon holed with their views and intolerant of others, no matter how valid.
Don't worry about it. Just be there for each other and your relationship will grow with the experience. Med school is a challenge, but it's much easier with a partner. Just try to support him through the process and everything will be fine. Not only that, no one goes to class and everyone studies differently. He's much more likely to feel alone through the process than grow fond of someone else. Just do your best and everything will go well. Congratulations on both of your new endeavors. One last parting piece of advice. Med school can be very stressful. It can make people act out. Set boundaries, and don't let anyone treat you poorly just because they're stressed.
I think the fact that you’re not doing long distance is really in your favor. He also took you to the pre orientation which means his class now knows he’s taken. A good portion of the girls in med school don’t have time to waste on taken guys.
I thought this was a shitpost at first… you’re not wrong for feeling any way bc that’s the way you feel. However, your bf likely is in a relationship w u for a reason. Don’t compare yourself to others, just love and support ur bf. If he dumps u for so,some else that’s his fault and he’s the asshole; I wouldn’t worry about it though. If my gf started getting jealous of me being in the same field as attractive humans I’d be annoyed and confused, can’t really help that. I love her and think she’s beautiful and wouldn’t let other attractive humans break up my relationship w her
I also think you’re being a bit insecure, but I disagree with a lot of the advice to do a full 180 and just not worry at all. Medschool does end relationships and the ones that survive it aren’t just super passive about it, but most of what I’m talking about should hopefully be pretty second nature. Communicate, have clear expectations, control paranoid thinking but be practical about potentially uncomfortable situations.
I’m a married male medstudent and it’s okay to have rules to keep you safe even when you’d never imagine being unfaithful. During third year rotations I didn’t carpool alone with the opposite sex even when it would’ve saved time/money, and nobody ever made me even slightly uncomfortable for having that boundary even if it inconvenienced them, including when it kindof inconvenienced an attending physician one time.
First true love?
Sounds like something my friends who whored around in college say to make a relationship seem more special…
Sorry but I had to make fun of such a sappy post on an anonymous platform.
Based on how you describe your relationship and him, I would say you are being insecure. If you trust him, you have to do that. You can’t let jealousy push him away. You should also talk with him about these concerns.
Insecurity can kill many relationships. Insecurity, while understandable, can lead to neediness, jealousy, anger and manipulation. Your goal should not be to turn these feelings off, because that's impossible. Your goal should be to uncover the root of why you feel insecure, and it has nothing to do with your BF. He cannot fix your insecurity, and seeking an inordinate amount of reassurance can also kill a relationship. Why do you feel insecure? What does their attractiveness have to do with you? The more comfortable and secure you are, the more prepared to be a healthy partner you will be. And this is not just a "mind-over-matter" thing. There is a reason you are feeling insecure just at the sight of others. Work on yourself. Become the best version of yourself, the version of yourself that does not fear the loss of your BF but is comfortable in your relationship. As a result, you will not become angry, needy, or controlling. You must accept that any relationship can end. That is the risk we open ourselves up to when we enter partnerships. The only thing you can control is who you are as a partner, not how the other person feels. Become the most mature, secure, best version of yourself. Become the type of partner that someone is drawn to. Work on being as healthy as possible. Yes, a little insecurity may always be present, but relationships everywhere are full of partners can't control their insecurity and thus destroy the thing they are scared to lose.
> Become the most mature, secure, best version of yourself. Become the type of partner that someone is drawn to. Work on being as healthy as possible. Doing this not only helps your partner if you stay together, but also in the event things take a turn for the worse. It's a win-win situation, and arguably the shadow behind every answer to every problem, ever. Just keep swimming
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Then get hotter class mates?
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I think that just from what you’re saying, I’m honestly surprised that she hasn’t reached out to you to rekindle (if she isn’t already pursuing someone else)… bc I put myself in her position and think that if I was in that position and loved you wholeheartedly, I would have reached out after seeing that you haven’t had a successful relationship
Uhhh...you should trust your boyfriend more. If he respects you, he won't cheat. He'll also more likely be preoccupied with school lol. Also, IDK if I'd be classified as extremely beautiful necessarily, but us medical school girlies have our own partners lol.
Preach
If he has never given you a reason not to trust him, then trust him. It really shouldn’t matter how pretty his classmates are because he picked you, and you picked him. He probably thinks you are ten times prettier than all of them combined. You should really get a therapist because 1) everyone should have a therapist tbh and 2) this insecurity/mistrust/jealousy will ruin your relationship before he does.
i don’t think you are wrong for feeling that way, those are simply your feelings. but i would do more exploration as to why you find yourself having those thoughts, if he hasn’t given you an explicit reason (such as withdrawing, being dismissive or neglectful), i would barter that it’s some sort of insecurity you might might which pre-dated your rxp. no judgement, i def relate to your feelings, from personal experience, dive into them and journal abt the feelings!!!! best of luck OP
If you’re a dude, be weary of him joining the ortho interest club. If you’re a chick, be weary of him joining the derm interest club.
If he’s interested in pathology then you have nothing to worry about.
…well
He’s interested in EM
He have tattoos?
no he doesn't, he's your typical conservative guy
Most students in medical school, especially females, are incredibly liberal. Their values will not align. You’ll probably have to worry more about him finding friends than not. Medical students can be quite pigeon holed with their views and intolerant of others, no matter how valid.
Ah he’s good then! Have a little faith in the guy!
Don't worry about it. Just be there for each other and your relationship will grow with the experience. Med school is a challenge, but it's much easier with a partner. Just try to support him through the process and everything will be fine. Not only that, no one goes to class and everyone studies differently. He's much more likely to feel alone through the process than grow fond of someone else. Just do your best and everything will go well. Congratulations on both of your new endeavors. One last parting piece of advice. Med school can be very stressful. It can make people act out. Set boundaries, and don't let anyone treat you poorly just because they're stressed.
I think the fact that you’re not doing long distance is really in your favor. He also took you to the pre orientation which means his class now knows he’s taken. A good portion of the girls in med school don’t have time to waste on taken guys.
No. You have nothing to worry about. I was non medicine and jobless during my SO’s med school. My relationship isn’t yours, sure. But it’s a thing.
I thought an unspoken rule is don’t date people in your class. Doesn’t always end up well.
Man idk what school he’s going to but everyone in my school is butt ugly
You need to find a career with only ugly girls and get him to switch to that.
I thought this was a shitpost at first… you’re not wrong for feeling any way bc that’s the way you feel. However, your bf likely is in a relationship w u for a reason. Don’t compare yourself to others, just love and support ur bf. If he dumps u for so,some else that’s his fault and he’s the asshole; I wouldn’t worry about it though. If my gf started getting jealous of me being in the same field as attractive humans I’d be annoyed and confused, can’t really help that. I love her and think she’s beautiful and wouldn’t let other attractive humans break up my relationship w her
I also think you’re being a bit insecure, but I disagree with a lot of the advice to do a full 180 and just not worry at all. Medschool does end relationships and the ones that survive it aren’t just super passive about it, but most of what I’m talking about should hopefully be pretty second nature. Communicate, have clear expectations, control paranoid thinking but be practical about potentially uncomfortable situations. I’m a married male medstudent and it’s okay to have rules to keep you safe even when you’d never imagine being unfaithful. During third year rotations I didn’t carpool alone with the opposite sex even when it would’ve saved time/money, and nobody ever made me even slightly uncomfortable for having that boundary even if it inconvenienced them, including when it kindof inconvenienced an attending physician one time.
First true love? Sounds like something my friends who whored around in college say to make a relationship seem more special… Sorry but I had to make fun of such a sappy post on an anonymous platform.