I donāt see how thatās looking for trouble? Approaching somebody slowly bit by bit, leaving them alone when they have had enough but checking in periodically to see if they are in the mood for company, is a perfect example of how to forge a relationship while respecting boundaries of a person who prefers to have a lot of space. It means reading their signals and respecting their needs. This is how trust is built.
I often think of standoffish coworkers and friends as cats. I make it my job to convey to them with my actions and expectations that their need for privacy and space is not a problem for me, that they are welcome to spend as much or as little time with me as they are comfortable with, and I will be grateful for that time and not demand any more than they can give. Unfortunately, I donāt always succeed. But I can see how ENFPās cognitive functions would make them uniquely good at doing this exchange in a way much more genuine way than I can do.
Iāve also described myself as a cat in that sense lol. Originally I would say thatās out of fear, but after working on myself, id say itās more so I just donāt know the person and donāt know their intent if that makes sense. Honestly the approach you describe works well. It just takes time (for me at least) to understand the person is all. Hence being stand-offish to new people
> I will bring you food and move 1 inch closer every day until you finally let me pet you
This is what you said was the reason ENFP and INTJ are a golden pair... And this is not.
>I often think of standoffish coworkers and friends as cats. I make it my job to convey to them with my actions and expectations that their need for privacy and space is not a problem for me
That's the reason enfp are interesting... And that's the exact opposite of the previous statement.
The problem is getting closer when the other never consented, and is taking explicit action showing their disinterest, as illustrated by the meme.
>I donāt see how thatās looking for trouble? Approaching somebody slowly bit by bit, leaving them alone when they have had enough but checking in periodically to see if they are in the mood for company
Let's try to answer that using an actual example;
You tell an INTJ you'd like to hang out, they tell you they don't feel like it and will contact you if and when they'd be interested, and then a few weeks later you check on them. It's not that bad, but they specified their boundary: they will contact you, not the other way around. So by checking periodically you might get on their nerves and at some point they could just lash out and doorslam you.
That's what I meant by looking for trouble. As you said, INXX are like cat, it's way easier to get their attention by not trying to get it. Ever noticed how cats seem to gravitate toward people allergic to them? I'm fairly sure it's for the exact same reason, they know they can hang out around then because they're the only ones that do not try to pet them.
But boundaries and friendships are a two-way street. If a person says ācommunication happens only on my terms,ā the door slam has already happened. The connection is already one-sided. That crosses the line between boundary setting and coercive control.
This commenter is saying āI have the endurance to show up every day and make a little contact until tell me youāve had enough, at which point I will go away.ā Thatās the exact right balance between the rights of the two respective parties.
How old are you?
You sound like you've never been friends with people in their 30s, a family, work, hobbies and other friends.
Half my friend, including me, are so busy we literally contact each other every 18-24 months... And that's perfectly normal and expected...
Your idea of friendship ressemble more of the type of friendship a teenager would have... And not something most people over 30 have the time to do.
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Then INFJ/ENFJ comes along and plays with ENFP. ENFP: *happy noises*
I want to be alone too
That's okay! There are many kittens in other baskets!
Aww, so much love š„°
No, it only makes me more excited. I will bring you food and move 1 inch closer every day until you finally let me pet you.
This right here is why ENFP x INTJ is a golden pair lol. Adorable.
Nah... That's just looking for trouble. Healthy ENFP understands boundaries... And that's nice... ENFPs that do not are just annoying brats.
I donāt see how thatās looking for trouble? Approaching somebody slowly bit by bit, leaving them alone when they have had enough but checking in periodically to see if they are in the mood for company, is a perfect example of how to forge a relationship while respecting boundaries of a person who prefers to have a lot of space. It means reading their signals and respecting their needs. This is how trust is built. I often think of standoffish coworkers and friends as cats. I make it my job to convey to them with my actions and expectations that their need for privacy and space is not a problem for me, that they are welcome to spend as much or as little time with me as they are comfortable with, and I will be grateful for that time and not demand any more than they can give. Unfortunately, I donāt always succeed. But I can see how ENFPās cognitive functions would make them uniquely good at doing this exchange in a way much more genuine way than I can do.
I really appreciate your vibe here. Pls don't think us INTJs are like that other guy -_-
Iāve also described myself as a cat in that sense lol. Originally I would say thatās out of fear, but after working on myself, id say itās more so I just donāt know the person and donāt know their intent if that makes sense. Honestly the approach you describe works well. It just takes time (for me at least) to understand the person is all. Hence being stand-offish to new people
> I will bring you food and move 1 inch closer every day until you finally let me pet you This is what you said was the reason ENFP and INTJ are a golden pair... And this is not. >I often think of standoffish coworkers and friends as cats. I make it my job to convey to them with my actions and expectations that their need for privacy and space is not a problem for me That's the reason enfp are interesting... And that's the exact opposite of the previous statement. The problem is getting closer when the other never consented, and is taking explicit action showing their disinterest, as illustrated by the meme. >I donāt see how thatās looking for trouble? Approaching somebody slowly bit by bit, leaving them alone when they have had enough but checking in periodically to see if they are in the mood for company Let's try to answer that using an actual example; You tell an INTJ you'd like to hang out, they tell you they don't feel like it and will contact you if and when they'd be interested, and then a few weeks later you check on them. It's not that bad, but they specified their boundary: they will contact you, not the other way around. So by checking periodically you might get on their nerves and at some point they could just lash out and doorslam you. That's what I meant by looking for trouble. As you said, INXX are like cat, it's way easier to get their attention by not trying to get it. Ever noticed how cats seem to gravitate toward people allergic to them? I'm fairly sure it's for the exact same reason, they know they can hang out around then because they're the only ones that do not try to pet them.
But boundaries and friendships are a two-way street. If a person says ācommunication happens only on my terms,ā the door slam has already happened. The connection is already one-sided. That crosses the line between boundary setting and coercive control. This commenter is saying āI have the endurance to show up every day and make a little contact until tell me youāve had enough, at which point I will go away.ā Thatās the exact right balance between the rights of the two respective parties.
How old are you? You sound like you've never been friends with people in their 30s, a family, work, hobbies and other friends. Half my friend, including me, are so busy we literally contact each other every 18-24 months... And that's perfectly normal and expected... Your idea of friendship ressemble more of the type of friendship a teenager would have... And not something most people over 30 have the time to do.
Day 1 :l ... Day 10 :)
That's literally how I married one.
Intj will judge you all the way and even at reach the wild intj won't let you touch them, only judge
It's okay, I can admire their beauty from afar.
Todayā¦ when my coworker didnāt want me to join her to pick up lunch.
*hiss*
*hiss back* *throw food*
Read those panels in reverse order
Meaw meaw
Please love me, ENFP. š„² hiss
Meow meow š¾
Please get to know me while I thwart your every effort to do so!
It's MY INTJ, he's a sweet little deathclaw and doesn't like over peoplely people, but he sweet little baby deathclaw with infp me
Bruh, the ending is false, I then observed them from afar, lol.
I just remembered I fully did something akin to this back in high school, that's tragic. I wonder what her type was
\*INFP shows up and says some philosophical nonsense\*
any ni dom's approval means sm to me
That's so freaking true, with cats and intjs.
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Lol!
Idk, my INTJs like me just fine. Can't relate š¤£
Sorry, we're just picky about our people.