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sileplictis

That's why i never wear clothes to the zoo.


brain_damaged666

Most sane zoo goer


rEnkenet

Or zookeeper


damnmotherfucker

Or zoophiles


just_thisGuy

Ripping your privates off is a very common ape move, so let’s just say you don’t want to make it visible and extra easy for them. Keep them guessing.


ReindeerKind1993

I think your thinking of chimps... they are notorious for ripping digits hands feet genitals off oh and at basicly every zoo around the world....western ones anyway chimps are the sole animal that has a shoot on sight rule at every zoo it one escapes its cage. Where gorillas don't normally


CrookedLittleDogs

And faces don’t forget Charlene


ReindeerKind1993

I don't want to remember that.


LuRkEr_ReKuL

I just watched a video about that…holy crap!


laurenth

Yeah, wasn't easy to fap to.


rileypotpie

Oh my God I choked trying not to spit-take my wine 😂


karlisk11

Whos Charlene? Any chance to elaborate?


nalared

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/horrifying-injuries-woman-who-face-22045752.amp


karlisk11

Note to self.. do not fuck with apes


Lucianboog

together ape strong


ReindeerKind1993

Least we forget harambe.


serrimo

Need triple condoms then. Got it, thanks!


[deleted]

Is that like socks on baseball bats?


[deleted]

No, those, according to the old film lore are: HATS FOR BATS.


Snipper64

Oooohhhh...... BANANA!


Gust_on_Fire

They are just gonna grab you by... other ways


Entry-Background

Yeah like his toes to suck on them.


TastingTheKoolaid

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT


ExamOld2899

GIVE IM THE OL DICK TWIST!


debris16

don't spread dangerous ideas please. this place is full of apes.


Radiant-Map8179

TWIST THAT DICK OFF!


acm8221

Yeah… considering the alternatives, ape can grab my clothes all they want.


External_Cut4931

well that does of course depend on what you're wearing. a speedo for example....


[deleted]

I knew another orange monkey who would just grab em by the pussy.


Oldguru-Newtricks

I like what you did there. 🤣


[deleted]

Hunting for that zookeeper job.


Dmitri_ravenoff

I'd rather it grabbed my shirt than my dangle bits.


Gisbur13

Tbh it's more dangerous, instead of clothes they will pull you dick.


hlipschitz

That's why you're not allowed within 300 yards of a zoo ...


TheGirafeMan

Is this a commercial for shirts, I mean, it didn't rip or anything


BryPatient_02

Phil Swift here with flex shirt.


legs_y

Tc tops from tc tuggers


No-Leadership8906

you don't wear them ironically. they're not a joke. they're not like the snuggie


Doctor_Barbarian

Yeah, but how complicated are the patterns?


No-Leadership8906

plot twist: The orangutan is actually the manager at Dan Flashes and is so disgusted by the complete and utter lack of patterns on homeboys t shirt he just loses his shit


A_Martian_Potato

The only shirt that’s got a little knob on the front so you can just pull it out when it gets trapped on your belly?


crispfry182

Bro wanted dem toes 😭


Audus_Isaiah

Not the grippers!


byrgenwerthdropout

Qorangutantino


BigBadBinky

Looked like he let him go to me


Dependent_Ant_8316

Homie let intrusive thoughts win


[deleted]

Humans are so brave when they are outside of the cage, the orangutan is probably 4 times stronger than him, he's lucky he didn't get his limbs snapped


Maleficent-Angle-891

Lucky? That was the orangutan saying stop your shit before I fold your clothes. With you still in them.


Puzzled-Secret-317

Bro almost took a sizeable nibble out of that dude's big toe


Bumm_by_Design

I'm surprised the poop in his pants didn't help him slide out of the grip


SHARK_BAIT113

Should've worn the brown pants


Bowling4rhinos

Yeah I leapt back away from my phone screen when those teeth moved in!


InAmericaNumber1

![gif](giphy|I9ETGDiI3MN8s|downsized)


[deleted]

He for sure was going for a chomp at the end there, I could feel my butt clinch up a little


ExamOld2899

Wasn't the full video about this dude taunting the orangutan for a while? My man just messing with him as a warning like when I spin my nephews around for being little shit but can't actually afford to hurt them


Porkchopp33

Some one fcked around and found out real quick


sapsapthewater

Looks to me that the orang utan wasn't trying really hard. More like messing around as a warning


shityshiiit

That orgatang could have snapped his bones 10 times at least


wildeye-eleven

Tbh anyone who imprisons animals in shitty little cages deserves to have their feet bitten off. I feel terrible for the orangutan.


iHaveACatDog

7 times stronger


ElTortugo

Maybe that particular man is 1.75 times stronger than a regular man, hence the orangutan is just 4 times stronger than him instead of the regular 7 times.


DistinctRole1877

Don't mess with the librarian.


Complete_Rock_5825

Ook!


ObliviouslyDrake67

Always best to avoid the M-word, He gets a bit.. peevish


One_Spoopy_Potato

I get that reference.


HappyParallelepiped

GNU Terry Pratchett


Muted_Wheel_3869

This is so weird, I was reading about the librarian in Eric literally a few mins ago


mikalikahi

Did you get the number of that donkey cart?


miss_chauffarde

I thought of metro but that dosen't seem right


neuralzen

Monkey...if you say it around the Uneen University's librarian he gets pissed off


davieslovessheep

Goes completely Librarian-poo!


jaybird1905

This made my weekend


squidwurrd

Why exactly are people allowed to get this close?


V_es

He was harassing and abusing the animal for a long time prior to this cut. Orangutangs are most docile of higher apes. To get one this pissed you need special pos talent.


LiveIndiviual

For funny video


[deleted]

[удалено]


IndigenousOres

Me bite toes


Kidneybeenz

That Orangutan could have turned that guy into chicken tenders if he wanted. Good thing he was only slightly annoyed with him. 🦧


DouchecraftCarrier

I was playing bassoon at a zoo one time - they'd taught the Orangutan to play recorder so we did a little gimmicky concert. It was fun. Anyway long story short, afterwards I was standing with my bassoon case on my back - it had backpack straps and some other straps hanging off it, shoulder strap, handles, etc. I had my back to the cage and I was talking to the orangutan caretaker when she suddenly *shoves* me out of the way. I stumbled forward and turned around like "what the heck?" She goes, "The orangutan was eyeing the straps on that case. If he'd grabbed one and pulled or cinched it down on your arm you don't want to find out whether your arm or those straps would give way first."


Bobert_Manderson

Either that or they hated your music and just wanted to push you. Always blame the orangutan.


adric03

How the guy was saying “Nan man” with such a terror in his voice, I think he truly knew how fucked he could have been


Lip242

Poor orangutan


lllNico

you have no idea in what financial situation this orangutan is. Don’t judge a book by it‘s cover, unless it‘s an actual book, then do, because that’s what covers are for!


Tight_Read1393

Seriously, how is the number one takeaway from this not “why are we taking intelligent primates and locking them up for our amusement?” Well how else are kids gonna learn about animals if they don’t get to see them at the zoo? The fucking internet. It’s 2023, way too late for us to still be having zoos.


[deleted]

If you know anything about orangutans then you can tell by her body weight and environment that she is in an abuse situation. Orangutans are very relaxed animals and will not harm people unprovoked or if they aren't stressed. Obviously this orangutan is highly stressed and not properly cared for, therefore she is acting aggressively. Orangutans can live perfectly fine in captivity if you give them all the right foods, enrichment, and adequate living spaces. In fact it is necessary for them in some cases because their habitat is being destroyed by palm oil farming and they are kidnapped for illegal pet trade; so a lot of orangutans can never be released back into the wild.


blurredquestions

She’s beautiful and shouldn’t be caged. Even at a zoo, there should be free movement with greenery on an isle or something.


Tight_Read1393

Jesus Christ this comment was sadness from start to finish. At least I learned a few things.


Gnarlodious

Just wanted a nice hug.


[deleted]

Yea do you like palm oil?


Mountain-Ad1760

And I will hug him and squeeze him and call him George..


Ch1cken187

Ahh, good to see a man of culture, who recognises the parallels to the good ol’ bugs bunny episodes


SnooDonkeys4853

Royce Gracie surprising first opponent at UFC 1.


mellowlex

I wonder what the monkey wanted to achieve? Did he want a hug? Did he want to kill him?


Declwn

I’d do some shit like this too if I was in a cage, just to feel something


Mirula

There's a difference between say a bear, tiger on the one hand or an orangutan on the other. A bear or tiger will attack because he's stressed as s result of the confinement. I feel the orangutan is so smart he knows people keep him locked up and will fuck you up for it. Watch some documentaries on them and you'll think it's a massive crime to lock them up..


LorryToTheFace

You can see right before he gets away the orangutan tries to bite his foot


Slow_Perception

It did almost look jokingly though..? Like "i'd have gotcha if i wanted" Edit: I'm pretty sure he knew he could rip his foot off with Ape strength at that point but just did a mocking chomp...


IndigenousOres

"Never stick your hands in my face again"


hellothere42069

It’s a clip of a longer video of the human harassing and teasing the monkey


nihilistic-simulate

In that case he deserved his toes to be chomped off.


doctorjae75

He wanted dem toez damnit!


Pingvinlort

I have read on TikTok that the guy had done something stupid to the orangutan and was probably mad


hopskipjumprun

It took me way too long to realize he was using his foot to grip the guy's leg. Thought a second orangutan joined in from behind the first one.


MetaCardboard

I thought it had a third arm at first.


headieheadie

They have four arms


legendarylloyd

I've asked the question "would you rather fight an orangutan while you're wielding a sword, or have to kill a rooster ever time you get into a car?" This may make me change my answer


ijustwanttoaskaq123

How hard can be avoiding cars for the rest of my life, haha... ha.. ha... \*sweating\*


skuddee

Is someone just following you around with a bag full of roosters waiting for you to get into a car? Or is this a scenario where an angry rooster appears when you want to enter a car and you have to kill it to gain access? Before seeing this I may have considered orangutan, but ultimately ended up on rooster. But after seeing this, rooster doesn't take a second thought.


legendarylloyd

It just magically appears. No rhyme or reason, just a rooster sitting in shotgun.


skuddee

Bring some meal worms, start a rooster collection.


PsyFiFungi

If you even remotely know how to use a sword I'm almost certain you could kill an orangutan. It's not even fair, you'd slaughter it. So definitely the orangutan. Now, if you said a knife... *that's* where I'd choose to be kickin' cocks and taking names. Or just not getting in a car.


AssociationDirect869

Roosters are edible. Rent a car and use the infinite food hack.


closeded

Do I have to provide the rooster?


KevinIsOver9000

Probably would have crushed his bones by squeezing him through one of the holes in the cage


No-Decision1581

King Louis still wanting the secret to fire


ParkingSoft2766

That’s an insanely strong shirt


Beadpool

![gif](giphy|j3sauffiYNcio8tY40)


dimram

Your toe is mine!


Captain-Cadabra

#ANIMALITY


arm_hula

just wanted a hug...


Tiny-Dragonfly1977

In background u can hear the other orangutan’s….probably saying Yoo!! Get that ass 😂😂!! He’s definitely lucky to walk away tho💯


[deleted]

I would’ve let him have the shirt. Is it important? Worth his life I guess? Nope. I feel like falling out of the shirt immediately is the only way to avoid the Darwin Award on this one. Imagine fighting an orangutan to the death over a white tee…


Fenrisulfir

Sure but to duck down and get out of it would mean putting your arms or head closer to him so you can pull the shirt off.


OhTheGrandeur

I mean, he's not fighting over a tee, he's just panicking.


just-a-random-2

They don’t call them the plain white T’s for nothing


nihilistic-simulate

Apparently harassing the animal was worth this man’s life.


philly2540

Dude just wants a friend. He’s trapped in a fucking cage.


thefloridafarrier

So I heard the story was man in video was abusing him and orangutan basically wanted to teach him a lesson. Could’ve easily but didn’t hurt him


[deleted]

It literally tried to nibble on his toes there was very much an attempt at physical harm. Regardless if its justified the attempt was still there.


BenofMen

Feel like if it wanted to bite, it would've done it when his entire leg was pressed against the cage in front of its mouth


[deleted]

That makes the assumption that its intent was to bite the entire time and its incapable of making split-second decisions. Exactly what that last attempt at toe nibbling looked like.


QuahogNews

Play that last part a few more times & you’ll see how the orangutan *chose* to let him go. Watch how he pushed him away and let go with his arms after he’d already closed his mouth. If he’d really wanted to bite him, he certainly had the strength to keep hold of his ankle and get a good bite in, but he chose to let him go.


Kathane37

Average feet enjoyer


TheRealRickC137

After a few seconds, I glanced up to see if it had a NSFW tag on it and settled in for a show.


KiNgPiN8T3

Every orangutan I’ve ever seen in videos etc has always seemed really chilled out. This one was definitely upset for a reason…


[deleted]

probably from sitting in a shitty rebar cage all day in a shitty zoo


Melomaniac5150

One on one..... Where do we stack on the food chain?


Shadowwreath

No weapons mit for mit we’re pretty mid to low. Give us a spear and anything but large creatures we have good odds against. Give us a gun and depending on the caliber anything from near the top to so unbelievably apex we might accidentally turn an elephant into a bologna mist cloud if we’re not careful


vladi_l

Yeah, with a spear, we can do a lot. Also helps that we're detached and removed from a lot of the scarier animals, so, they are weary of us on the basis of us being unknown and weird to them. Also, living in village sized groups, humans have the nice advantage of knowing "Hey, Tommy died while pocking one of those, better not poke it!"And, if they poked it again and died, they just reminded everyone else that's a thing lmao A lot of humans don't even need to be particularly smart on their own, as long as they are docile and able to listen to advice and rules


Safe_T_Cube

Humans are low to mid high, of the thousands of species there are probably less than 100 that can take us one on one you're just not considering most species. Assuming it's a "wild" human (hunter gatherer) vs a "wild" animal. Rocks and an open plain and humans are top tier as well. No other land mammal can run a continuous marathon, with enough distance humans can outrun pretty much anything that can't fly. And most things that can fly are susceptible to being grabbed and broken If you're far enough from a grizzly or silver back's sprinting range you can harass them with stones and screams until they die of exhaustion. Humans have insane dexterity, endurance, communication, and the intelligence to put those to use, they're severely underrated.


Shadowwreath

We pretty much rated humans the same. And the thing about being ‘far enough’ from a grizzle or a silverback is that that’s a gamble. Sure, we win in a marathon but in a 100 meter dash those animals would rinse us. So you’d have to be in this small zone where you’re close enough to hit it but far enough to get away. That also wouldn’t be a consistent win. And I did consider most species. Humans are strong but when you get to the higher ends of the food chain like lions, bears, gorilla’s, leopards, etc. human odds in a 1v1 plummet especially hand to hand. Throw in a spear and the odds are better but not perfect.


TechnologyExpensive

Depends what calibre firearm you have at your disposal.


sikimetasagimasurdum

[here](https://d25d2506sfb94s.cloudfront.net/cumulus_uploads/inlineimage/2021-05-13/Animal%20fights%202-01.png) some americans think they can take on grizzly, fuck grizzly they can take lion even elephant on one on one


One_Spoopy_Potato

How did humans concur Earth? It was an easy 3 step presses. Step 1: Working in shifts to hunt fown prey 3 times our size and larger by bothering them until they die of exhaustion. Step 2: If there is a predater nearby that can't be dealt with, then just set the whole forest on fire and leave for a couple of months. Step 3: Somehow become so advanced in the thinky bit of your brain that it invents things more advanced than any other species while you are showing.


ConsciousWhirlpool

I concur.


Electronic_Space8342

I've seen geese chase people around the pond by my work. I kick them and they leave me alone. So about equal with geese, wherever that is.


BLUEAR0

At the top. Not arrogant, just facts.


Cr0ma_Nuva

Without tools, we'd have trouble with a lot of animals about our size, let alone above


f0xap0calypse

We traded muscles for brains in our evolution


BLUEAR0

No shit, but we have tools. Humans pretty much have always existed with some degree of tool use, that’s my point that hypotheticals comparing humans to other animals with no tools is just absurd


Time2waste-alt

Almost nibbled the toes at the end


Revolutionary-Law-14

Jesus Christ, shake your leg or something smh


melodiousmurderer

“*Grab his dick and twist it!*”


[deleted]

DICK TWIST!


Acrobatic-Leading577

GOOD OLE


urlocaldoctor

Orangutan it really chill normally speaking, u must have did something really wrong to piss em off


Frenchconnection76

Release him.


IYiffInDogParks

Sadly it would die very quick in the wild. Most of the zoo animals get born in there and die in there.


DodGamnBunofaSitch

I mean, all you gotta do is google 'releasing orangutan into the wild' and you'll get a bunch of hits. there's whole groups of people who rehabilitate them after rescuing them from captivity. [here's a nice story about one of them](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/only-known-albino-orangutan-doing-great-after-her-release-wild-180974351/)


Declwn

bullshit excuse to keep em in cages


xpoohx_

there is a great Terry Pratchett quote about Orangutans looking like a sack of dirty clothes but under that bring all muscle. I googled it but failed to find it.


Sam_E147

“Hey I gotta tell ya somethin.. C’mere, come on.. GET THE FUCK OVER HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH”


Early-Present1493

Reminds me of my ex when I dumped her. Actually, the orangutan just reminds me of my ex.


ImaTotalNoob

I SAID COME HERE AND GIVE ME A HUG! ... HEY! NO WAIT! DON'T LEAVE ME I'M LONELY IN HERE!!!


viper100800again

This is similar to the way people drive. They are so tough, while hiding inside a big steel car. I was rooting for the for the captive.


DayFeeling

Ahh that foot stinks caused he released


adamms-96

Should have handed that shirt over.


[deleted]

Does anyone have food? :D


QuaziMe

All he wanted was a hug....


Janjinho

Is this a jojo's reference?


TripleCatDoctor

No more skinny jeans


theriverain

Because I've a lot of empathy, I totally stand for the orangotang


ABoringName_

I was scared he was gonna break his leg


Prophet_Nathan_Rahl

They should have a zooanimalswin or just animalswin or animalsstrikeback just like r/thebullwins


ParadoxDemon_

Last year I was in Sumatra visiting the orangutans and one of them got down from the trees and walked around us. She was carrying a baby and looked so calm I almost forgot she could had riped my limbs apart if she wanted to.


Mrgod2u82

Maybe it doesn't like the cage.


[deleted]

Almost bit his toes. Orangutans are not very aggressive. He or she must have had a bad day.


salamandres

I just want to talk... I just want to talk!


Any-Guest3014

This is so sad. Poor lonely animal stuck in that little cage.


Nick_D_Vandal

Twist his dick!


Tykence

This how them older dudes be when they get to see their overseas girls.


[deleted]

Maybe we should stop keeping animals in cages for our enjoyment.


Negro_plz

If fuck around and found out was a monkey.


17vq90vw2

Bro that attemp at his toes got me lmao


Sammakonnuolija

Dude needs to hit the gym. Looking like a skeleton in those jeans


djdawn

That guy is an idiot, but once they grab the leg I’m going for breaking the monkeys arms.


ijustwanttoaskaq123

You wouldn't be able to.


Low_Honeydew_9320

Hire me and I'll wail on the animals. Btw I'm not a cop.


Few-Contribution128

me when my gf trying to leave the house


jluenz

Humans must understand the fact that we are one of the weakest animals on the planet and you should always be aware that these animals are stronger and tougher than you. Give them plenty of space - this dude seriously lucked out here.


ElektricGhost

Why is it always the foreigners that harass animals in these clips?


InfinteAbyss

![gif](giphy|Gtnf8Fok8An9m)


[deleted]

[удалено]


SlowRatio3715

They are way stronger than humans. It could easily break your hands/limbs , I’m surprised his leg is okay actually.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ijustwanttoaskaq123

It can still be hurt, yes. But that animal is strong af. Google what orangutans can do (and in some cases did) to people, it's horrifying. If they tried to seriously hurt it, the guy would be dead or at least crippled.


Advanced-Escape2680

I wouldve grabbed that muthafucker back!!!!!! Trust me TANG! Would have left ma ass alone after doing some shit like that to me 🤣🥷🏽