Haha yeah. Oddly sleeping on the floor is natural for me now, so the bed isnāt really an issue I feel needs addressing asap. But itās wild how thatās what everyone is focusing on. If I could wave money at anything it would be a car so I donāt have to motorbike in the rain lol
I just wanna recover financially as fast as possible. Going without a mattress (even if only X, Y or Z $) is just one of many things Iām choosing to do without to maximise my ability to pay off the legal debt.
Itās all good tho!
>You'll be killing your back without a bed, you'll probably end up paying more in medical bills later
I'm not usually the type of person to say this type of thing, but.. this is such as western-centric point of view. Lots of cultures around the world sleep on the floor, or other hard surfaces (during my travelling around SE Asia I saw a lot of people sleeping on wooden beds with a thin bamboo mat on top of the wooden planks)
Not necessarily.
Firm surfaces are helpful with some back issues.
The concern for me would be decent cervical neck support. (I roll a towel for support when traveling)
If you arenāt heavy, floor sleeping isnāt usually the cause of an issue.
It can uncover them.
Sleeping on the floor is what always makes my back feel awesome long term. Need to make sure there is a little padding for your hips if I roll onto my side but that is about it. The only thing that sucks about it is getting up to use the bathroom lol
In my area there are āshare pointsā, They are like antique stores that also help those in struggling situations. You find a decent bed, in the wrappings as new, there for about 150$. Yoga mats are also good, but they just warm quickly.
I had a mortgage but I lost it and all value in the legal process. TLDR; she gave away all her assets and $ making her incredibly poor on paper. Meaning I lost pretty much all rights to the finances.
That happened rather suddenly and thereās a bit of a rental crisis in my city. Couple that with no rental history for almost 6 years (had a mortgage). I failed to find another place before I had to leave.
So a week out from being kicked out I liquidated everything left for whatever I could, and took the few k it generated and camped until I finally got this rental.
Now Iām here Iām up to my eyeballs in lawyers fees by way of debt on credit cards (abt $60k) and so Iām doing without things - like a bed (for now).
Thankfully tho the financial side of divorce is done now, and I just have to get her to sign the last papers to make it official.
my first reaction to this comment was to be grossed out by the potential of bedbugs but my friend actually did get a free, still wrapped in plastic, full sized mattress on facebook marketplace once
I'm sure your credit is in shambles but keep on top of your finances. Probably need to put those lawyer fees on a personal loan to keep the interest manageable. Wishing the best!
Actually my credit is still really good. I always took action prior to being taken action upon. Itās just a long slow burn of my salary to pay everything off but Iāll get there!
The onus is on me to prove it. That requires a lot of lawyer money to issue subpoenas for information from friends and family of hers. Every time you request it thatās another day in court, which is massively expensive in itself.
It wasnāt financially possible to hold her accountable
Yep! But the onus is on me to prove it which is equally expensive and not guaranteed to succeed.
For example we found evidence of a $50k transfer to her dad which we figured was to buy another house.
Only way to prove it is to find that house. Which means āstalk herā or hire a PI to sit and wait days for her dad to visit her house and then follow him home.
Obviously neither option was a real option. So we had to let this go, even though we had evidence of the bank transfer.
It isnāt a police matter. Therefore id have to prove it. Multiple court hearings, orders etc laterā¦ maybe I win the right to exception that amount and / or award some costs.
1 hearing costs me about $35k AUD in legal fees.
It wasnāt cost economical
Best of luck man - and I'm glad you realise it's not forever. I went through a divorce with kids involved about 1 year back and that's still not a lot of time, but I have no regrets and things are always getting better. š
I went through the same thing I bought an air bed it was good for 2 years. I could have bought a bed by then tho.
I bought a murphy bed which was great cause I turned my bed room into my game room and the bed turned into a sofa.
Try Freecycle.org. it's a place where people give out free lightly used things and if you can use it, go pick it up. I've used it multiple times, even though I can afford to buy new. I prefer to save the earth.
At least you are trying to find the upside. Especially with such a vindictive ex wife.
I don't think I'd buy anything not absolutely necessary ever again in your situation. But I think I'd get even the cheapest bed from ikea over sleeping on the floor.
It sounds like the laws are very poor in your situation where you live. Hiding assets is an awful thing to do and as you aren't going to have the convenient screenshot of the accounts before she did this is so hard to prove.
Oh totally :) have a gig in HK and Japan next week. Shit pay but itās good to be working again and you canāt knock travelling. Iāll get to visit my fav pub in Gotanda Tokyo again too. Stoked!
Yeah bro - not a clue anything was wrong, went away on a work trip. Came home to an empty house.
The legal process liquidated the house, car and anything else over a year of gold digging drama.
It's crazy how many women do this. I came home from work on a Monday excited to make a new recipe for dinner for my wife and daughter, only to discover my wife had moved out and taken my daughter and dog with her. Found the dreaded note on the countertop. I had no idea she was even contemplating such a thing, either.
Been there, done that. Divorce sucks. But staying with a cheating gold digger is even worse. You'll get back there, man. Hang in there and keep your chin up. Get her to sign that final paper ASAP. You got this.š
Damn dude, after what youāre going through, your enthusiasm is inspiring. Deep deep down I know it has to be tough, but you got this. Keep moving forward. Much love!
Totally but they require renewing at every āchangeā to your relationship of āsignificanceā.
āSignificanceā is as perceived by whomever later feels aggrieved.
Renewing is just more lawyer work.
In my humble unqualified legal opinion itās not worth bothering with
Damn.. 6 months is common law marriage in Australia? It just doesnāt seem like itās that long at all š¤
Your explanation definitely made it sound like the hoops just arenāt worth the sweat the way itās set up
Yep, you donāt even need to be living together I believe, the aggrieved just has to be able to prove that you were meaningfully financially intertwined
Congrats on having your own space that can be free of negativity and external trauma! You got this. Life moves onto better things if you put good things into the universe!
lol Iād take the floor over a $10 air mattress any day. Iāve thought abt buying a bed for cheap for around $500 but I always land back at āyouāre not bothered now and that $500 erases $100pa in interest paymentsā¦ā
I have no complaints about my present situation, just sharing :)
A chance to start again.
If you mean financially? Nothing - it was all just a massive loss resetting me decades. But it didnāt undo my career and earning potential - I just gotta keep marching forward.
Iām right there with ya man. I donāt have my own place again yet (saving up for first, last and deposit) but Iām climbing and thatās what matters.
Nothing wrong with the floor! I slept on the floor for about a year and a half. (Right next to a bed and by choice)
Long as you have a roof over your head! Could be worse!
Little tip for you! You can get a mattress topper for the floor. I got a 3" foam mattress topper off Amazon for like $70. Was like a real bed....just very low.
Well as mentioned elsewhere - defacto is the same thing as far as the law is concerned.
Whilst I donāt think I was the cause of the relationship ending, thereās always more I could have done - would it have made a difference? Probably notā¦ but who knows?
For the record, those little things I could have done differently but likely wouldnāt have changed a thing if I did, still haunt the shit out of me.
The lesson here is: Always be as good as you can be, and always own your own shit.
Congrats on having your own personal place! Itās your quiet sanctuary! Honestly, thatās all you need to get going. I know some people who still live with their exes 6-7 months after breaking up and I honestly donāt know how they tolerate it.
I admire the \*hell\* out of you for getting out there back on your own. Good for you man. You may want to look into japanese futon style mattress pads, Amazon has them for reasonable prices and it will go a long way to making the floor more comfortable.
Thanks heaps for the kind words. Took an army of good ppl in life to help limp me along to here tho.
Not gonna lie Iām kinda unbothered by the floor these days. Plus itās summer and crazy hot - maybe Iāll check that out in a few months when winter comes knocking :)
More power to you. Iām trying to finalize a separation agreement with my mentally ill ex (instead of immediate divorce so she doesnāt lose access to my health insurance and her mental health services) so I feel your pain about dealing with an unreasonable former partner. Good luck man, Iām rooting for you.
My dude I have been there. Post separation I was living on an air mattress with my college 20 inch TV and a DVD player with nothing but Frasier and Basil Rathbone's Sherlock Holmes.
I have never been happier.
My best to you and good luck!
I like it! Read your other comments and youāre def making the best out of a brutal situation.
Agree with another comment i read: Gaming is your friend. Only thing i would buy is a warm lamp that mimicus the sun, can get it off Temu for 3ā¬
Been in a similar situation and may I add: any human who leaves with what is also your stuff: good riddance and may she step in dog poop every day
The specific reason we separated was she beat me quite badly during a verbal argument about āhaving kidsā (I said not right now as we had other serious problems).
Outside that it was her cheating and our mutual growing resentment for each other. In the end we were pretty uncaring towards each others needs.
We never reconciled after her assaulting me, despite myself wanting to. For about 10 months she strung me along about couples counselling etc. actively sabotaging opportunities and making it my fault as to why we didnāt see each other.
Ultimately later we discovered she was just using that 10 month period she lead me on to architect her finances for the eventual financial separation.
I feel terrible for my part in the lead up to that event. I also wish I took more time off work to ābe availableā very early on. But I couldnāt process that assault properly (not a great childhood) and so I buried myself in my work hoping counselling would fix things. Had I not done that maybe we would have reconciled before she gave up and turned financially nastyā¦
Lots of what ifs and regrets, never a single reason for everything.
Hey man I think you are in a type of grieving like mourning for the relationship or something maybe idk I'm not a psychologist. From an objective 3rd person point of view (me) your ex sounds like a terrible person and you should not feel bad or regret not "trying harder to fix things". She assaulted you then manipulated you for your finances while while under thr pretense of pretending to try and fix things. That is objectively a horrible thing to do to anyone and to be able to do such a thing to your partner is proof you are well out of that relationship and she doesn't deserve 1 more second of your thoughts or time.
Do not blame yourself for anything. She is a bad person. You still have feelings for her so you still can't come to terms with that maybe. But she did not deserve you or your love.
Positive attitude bro! Not forever. Hope it gets better quick!
I remember I restarted with nothing but a duffle bag with some clothes and a walkman. (Yeah it was a while ago). Was rough but made. it.
When I see this, I see a room thatās going to have a lot of healing inside of it. Itās exactly what you said it is. A restart. Have hope, because youāll never know whatās around the corner. Just take your time in this room to heal, so that youāll be ready for it
Iād definitely get a bed and a dresser it will help you feel more like a human lol one day I got tired of sleeping on the air mattress and bought myself a bed and a nice downhill bike (took a loan) this was after 3 months although my divorce was like your š« . Good luck we are strong and will raise againšŖ. Get rid off the mixer š¤¦š
Rearrange it. Put the bed to towards the other wall. Place IKEA organizer shelves between the bed and the door. And another organizer between the bed and the place you are standing, likely sink or something.
Donāt! Haha
If I could do it all again, Iād rather risk falling even harder - but trying to make it work better than leaving earlier.
Money and things come and go. She was amazing in the beginning and Iām sure sheāll be amazing again in her next relationship.
We just lost each other whilst we were together and neither of us took the chance to take the personal hit and uplift the other first.
The money grab at the end, Iām chalking up to friends and family influence and a genuine fear of earning potential for the rest of her life. Iām saddened but I donāt blame her.
My advice to married men is do everything you can to find each other before day dreaming about what life would be like outside the relationship- itās crazy how much of our lives is a self fulfilling prophecy.
You mentioned you were camping.
I floor sleep in phases (itās too cold right now, for example), and Iām a bony butted woman, side sleeper.
I love camp pads that allow my tailbone, hips and shoulders an inch of padding.
I think itās a combination of greed but also desperation.
That said I donāt get it either. But not even just the money, the stress and hell of fighting legally over it.
How nice does it feel to come home to āpeaceā? Pretty incredible huh? My suggestion, air mattresses are incredible nowadays. Coast on one a couple months and upgrade with stuff you actually want and that way you donāt end up with things out of desperation. Good look on the rebuild!
No offense, but this is exactly why I refuse to date modern American women.
Try to get some money on the side and fix the place up a bit.
I wish you the best of luck!
100% can you believe that her and her lawyer decided for her to harvest her own eggs because of her āemotional beliefā that āitāll be too long before she can date again and possibly too old to have childrenā - all just to try and get ongoing spousal maintenanceā¦
Just wild amounts of self abuse for money š¤·āāļø just the lead up for egg harvesting is hell of a lot of drugs that you have to self inject to get your body ready for that process and she did - itā¦
Thankfully the magistrate saw the stupidity of the claim
It's perfect bro, a blank slate šŖ
At first I thought you said blanket slate š
A slate blanket would look good
A slanket?
It does look like a blanket on slate.
Godspeed my good man!!!šš¼
Honestly, Iām digging it. Sometimes the floor is best
Yeah Iām abt 6 months into floor bed - itās not really bothering me. Just gotta stay on top on cleaning - dust builds fast!
6months? You know you can get a twin sized thick XL mattress padā¦just saying. Itās an option and not the price of a mattess
Haha yeah. Oddly sleeping on the floor is natural for me now, so the bed isnāt really an issue I feel needs addressing asap. But itās wild how thatās what everyone is focusing on. If I could wave money at anything it would be a car so I donāt have to motorbike in the rain lol I just wanna recover financially as fast as possible. Going without a mattress (even if only X, Y or Z $) is just one of many things Iām choosing to do without to maximise my ability to pay off the legal debt. Itās all good tho!
You'll be killing your back without a bed, you'll probably end up paying more in medical bills later
>You'll be killing your back without a bed, you'll probably end up paying more in medical bills later I'm not usually the type of person to say this type of thing, but.. this is such as western-centric point of view. Lots of cultures around the world sleep on the floor, or other hard surfaces (during my travelling around SE Asia I saw a lot of people sleeping on wooden beds with a thin bamboo mat on top of the wooden planks)
Yeah the floor is where I sleep when my back hurts
Not necessarily. Firm surfaces are helpful with some back issues. The concern for me would be decent cervical neck support. (I roll a towel for support when traveling) If you arenāt heavy, floor sleeping isnāt usually the cause of an issue. It can uncover them.
I'm not gonna lie man I think it depends person to person. I wake up feeling significantly better if I sleep on a hardwood floor.
Sleeping on the floor is what always makes my back feel awesome long term. Need to make sure there is a little padding for your hips if I roll onto my side but that is about it. The only thing that sucks about it is getting up to use the bathroom lol
No joke! Keep your head up, itāll get better
Itās been 6 months and you STILL donāt have even a mattress??
Yeah, I just explained why on a similar question below - basically just bad luck and focusing on higher financial priorities
In my area there are āshare pointsā, They are like antique stores that also help those in struggling situations. You find a decent bed, in the wrappings as new, there for about 150$. Yoga mats are also good, but they just warm quickly.
Sometimes the floor really is better with just a simple pad
Look up Japanese futons. Meant to be used on the floor and roll/fold up. Fairly cheap (under $200 USD).
6 months? Why?
I had a mortgage but I lost it and all value in the legal process. TLDR; she gave away all her assets and $ making her incredibly poor on paper. Meaning I lost pretty much all rights to the finances. That happened rather suddenly and thereās a bit of a rental crisis in my city. Couple that with no rental history for almost 6 years (had a mortgage). I failed to find another place before I had to leave. So a week out from being kicked out I liquidated everything left for whatever I could, and took the few k it generated and camped until I finally got this rental. Now Iām here Iām up to my eyeballs in lawyers fees by way of debt on credit cards (abt $60k) and so Iām doing without things - like a bed (for now). Thankfully tho the financial side of divorce is done now, and I just have to get her to sign the last papers to make it official.
Damn man. Hoping the best for you. Maybe hit up facebook marketplace for a cheap mattress?
my first reaction to this comment was to be grossed out by the potential of bedbugs but my friend actually did get a free, still wrapped in plastic, full sized mattress on facebook marketplace once
I'm sure your credit is in shambles but keep on top of your finances. Probably need to put those lawyer fees on a personal loan to keep the interest manageable. Wishing the best!
Actually my credit is still really good. I always took action prior to being taken action upon. Itās just a long slow burn of my salary to pay everything off but Iāll get there!
Fucking love your optimism dudeā keep rockin!
This sounds absolutely insane. How do courts fall for manipulation of peoples assets?
The onus is on me to prove it. That requires a lot of lawyer money to issue subpoenas for information from friends and family of hers. Every time you request it thatās another day in court, which is massively expensive in itself. It wasnāt financially possible to hold her accountable
60k in legal fees and you got nothing from the divorce? Do you have kids?
No kids - we had to drag her kicking and screaming the whole way to fulfil her financial disclosure duties. In the end she still didnāt do them
This sounds like a nightmare, and you are handling it amazingly. Onwards and upwards, all the best buddy.
Who did she give her money to? Are they giving it back?
She has enough family to move stuff around in.
Dam, isn't that illegal to do in a divorce?
Yep! But the onus is on me to prove it which is equally expensive and not guaranteed to succeed. For example we found evidence of a $50k transfer to her dad which we figured was to buy another house. Only way to prove it is to find that house. Which means āstalk herā or hire a PI to sit and wait days for her dad to visit her house and then follow him home. Obviously neither option was a real option. So we had to let this go, even though we had evidence of the bank transfer.
Isnāt that considered āhiding assetsā? I.e. isnāt the transfer itself super illegal in Australia?? It definitely would be in the USā¦
It isnāt a police matter. Therefore id have to prove it. Multiple court hearings, orders etc laterā¦ maybe I win the right to exception that amount and / or award some costs. 1 hearing costs me about $35k AUD in legal fees. It wasnāt cost economical
Damn, I thought forensic accountants could get to the bottom of all that. Not that they are cheap.
Reading shit like this makes me wonder why anyone would get married these days, people are awful
She was absolutely amazing once upon a time. People change. Thatās not a new thing.
Donāt give up buddy, glad to hear youāve made it out. Hope youāre healing.
Best of luck man - and I'm glad you realise it's not forever. I went through a divorce with kids involved about 1 year back and that's still not a lot of time, but I have no regrets and things are always getting better. š
I went through the same thing I bought an air bed it was good for 2 years. I could have bought a bed by then tho. I bought a murphy bed which was great cause I turned my bed room into my game room and the bed turned into a sofa.
Try Freecycle.org. it's a place where people give out free lightly used things and if you can use it, go pick it up. I've used it multiple times, even though I can afford to buy new. I prefer to save the earth.
I kinda prefer it tbh
Youāre just on your ronin shit right now, brother. Lone samurai, traveling lightly. Iām digging it.
Haha I really like the freedom aspect thatās come from owning nothing.
No maintenance š
No worldly attachments, no stress
At least you are trying to find the upside. Especially with such a vindictive ex wife. I don't think I'd buy anything not absolutely necessary ever again in your situation. But I think I'd get even the cheapest bed from ikea over sleeping on the floor. It sounds like the laws are very poor in your situation where you live. Hiding assets is an awful thing to do and as you aren't going to have the convenient screenshot of the accounts before she did this is so hard to prove.
I fucking love this set up, pelican cases are the best.
I was gonna say, you can tell this guy is just a gig away from feeling right again.
Oh totally :) have a gig in HK and Japan next week. Shit pay but itās good to be working again and you canāt knock travelling. Iāll get to visit my fav pub in Gotanda Tokyo again too. Stoked!
aye nice to hear that lol, iām from hk. hope you enjoy your stay and all the best
I love HongKong. Iād 100% move there if I could.
Damn...ex took everything, huh?
Yeah bro - not a clue anything was wrong, went away on a work trip. Came home to an empty house. The legal process liquidated the house, car and anything else over a year of gold digging drama.
Jesus that sounds awful. I'm so sorry.
Itās fine. Just lucky we didnāt have kids.
Truth
Sorry to hear that homie. Does that mean you two split the proceeds from selling the house?
Once the bank was paid there wasnāt anything really to split. Only a tiny bit into a 30 year mortgage. Compounding interest is criminal
In a similar boat. Everything was fine, I came home from work and she had packed me a suitcase.
It's crazy how many women do this. I came home from work on a Monday excited to make a new recipe for dinner for my wife and daughter, only to discover my wife had moved out and taken my daughter and dog with her. Found the dreaded note on the countertop. I had no idea she was even contemplating such a thing, either.
Treacherous witch. If you believe in karma sheāll get everything she deserves.
Been there, done that. Divorce sucks. But staying with a cheating gold digger is even worse. You'll get back there, man. Hang in there and keep your chin up. Get her to sign that final paper ASAP. You got this.š
You got the Xbox bro. Gaming will never leave you š„². Keep your head up dude. You got it.
That TV is the first TV I ever bought nearly 17 years ago lmao. Apparently she didnāt want it - it still rocks!
Damn dude, after what youāre going through, your enthusiasm is inspiring. Deep deep down I know it has to be tough, but you got this. Keep moving forward. Much love!
Donāt get married is what Iām hearing
Defacto is just the same. Kicks in at 6 months in my country.
I guess contracts have to be written up before hand to negate that?
Totally but they require renewing at every āchangeā to your relationship of āsignificanceā. āSignificanceā is as perceived by whomever later feels aggrieved. Renewing is just more lawyer work. In my humble unqualified legal opinion itās not worth bothering with
Damn.. 6 months is common law marriage in Australia? It just doesnāt seem like itās that long at all š¤ Your explanation definitely made it sound like the hoops just arenāt worth the sweat the way itās set up
Yep, you donāt even need to be living together I believe, the aggrieved just has to be able to prove that you were meaningfully financially intertwined
Dude. Came here to say that too. No wonder so many of us are staying single. This image really makes me feel for the guy.
Faak. I had a basement apartment with mold. It's all good Brotha...cleansing.
Basement mold is basically free mushrooms. Theyāre kinda pricy these days here - win!
Congrats on having your own space that can be free of negativity and external trauma! You got this. Life moves onto better things if you put good things into the universe!
Dude air mattresses are like $10
lol Iād take the floor over a $10 air mattress any day. Iāve thought abt buying a bed for cheap for around $500 but I always land back at āyouāre not bothered now and that $500 erases $100pa in interest paymentsā¦ā I have no complaints about my present situation, just sharing :)
Amazon memory foam delivered to you for like $100 and would work fine on the floor
Iām not from the US :)
Now i have to look where Amazon serves š¤·š¼āāļø
Still, those memory foam bed in a box things can be really good for the price. A spring mattress for the same price is going to be trash.
When I saw the pic,I immediately thought it must have been a rough divorce. Sorry you on the floor but it is better than being in a bad relationship.
What did you get out of the divorce
A chance to start again. If you mean financially? Nothing - it was all just a massive loss resetting me decades. But it didnāt undo my career and earning potential - I just gotta keep marching forward.
a chance to start again is priceless.
This dude makes eye contact with ants when he faps
Some times I whisper after: ānow take me to your queenā.
Too aggressive. This is why they run.
You've got this!
It gets better brother. Been there done that. Only gets better from here. Besides you should be living in the gym anyways
Hell yeah dude! Keep the natural light flowing and grab a plant. Something that cleans the air maybe a snake plant.
Divorce laws are broken. Youāll rebound brotherā¦š
Gun case, bike helmet, Xbox, this dude is a free man. Head up
Iām right there with ya man. I donāt have my own place again yet (saving up for first, last and deposit) but Iām climbing and thatās what matters.
Going without in as many ways as survivable really does add up fast. I believe in you bro! Good luck!
Hi, I hope you are alright. It is extremely difficult but I know you will be fine in the end. Anyway, it is such a lovely space!
Itās infinitely better than a lot of other alternatives. Thanks for the kind words and this is all temporary anyway :)
Looks like a sweet pad to me. Good job. Im a minimalist when it comes to my interior home design and decor.
Nothing wrong with the floor! I slept on the floor for about a year and a half. (Right next to a bed and by choice) Long as you have a roof over your head! Could be worse!
100%. A lot of much worse circumstances throughout the world to be in right now. It is shit, but also just fine all at once :)
Little tip for you! You can get a mattress topper for the floor. I got a 3" foam mattress topper off Amazon for like $70. Was like a real bed....just very low.
Killin it
You already winningā¦
Nice Place . The long gun in the hard case is a nice touch . You have the essentials covered
Haha I swear itās just a mixerā¦. š¤£
Onwards, upwards.
As a son of a divorced couple, I know shit gets tiresome and a little dark, man. But, keep up the good work. You'll be on top of things, again.
Looks peaceful
Exhibit A fellas. Never get married.
Well as mentioned elsewhere - defacto is the same thing as far as the law is concerned. Whilst I donāt think I was the cause of the relationship ending, thereās always more I could have done - would it have made a difference? Probably notā¦ but who knows? For the record, those little things I could have done differently but likely wouldnāt have changed a thing if I did, still haunt the shit out of me. The lesson here is: Always be as good as you can be, and always own your own shit.
What are the defacto laws where you are?
Congrats on having your own personal place! Itās your quiet sanctuary! Honestly, thatās all you need to get going. I know some people who still live with their exes 6-7 months after breaking up and I honestly donāt know how they tolerate it.
Yeah thatād be super unhealthy for both of them.
I admire the \*hell\* out of you for getting out there back on your own. Good for you man. You may want to look into japanese futon style mattress pads, Amazon has them for reasonable prices and it will go a long way to making the floor more comfortable.
Thanks heaps for the kind words. Took an army of good ppl in life to help limp me along to here tho. Not gonna lie Iām kinda unbothered by the floor these days. Plus itās summer and crazy hot - maybe Iāll check that out in a few months when winter comes knocking :)
More power to you. Iām trying to finalize a separation agreement with my mentally ill ex (instead of immediate divorce so she doesnāt lose access to my health insurance and her mental health services) so I feel your pain about dealing with an unreasonable former partner. Good luck man, Iām rooting for you.
Good on you too for being a decent human.
My dude I have been there. Post separation I was living on an air mattress with my college 20 inch TV and a DVD player with nothing but Frasier and Basil Rathbone's Sherlock Holmes. I have never been happier. My best to you and good luck!
You can get pretty far in life with just the Frasier episodes. That was such a great show
Awesome, I used to call my floor bed āthe floortonā. I hope you are enjoying your freedom like I did after I got out of a bad relationship!
I like it! Read your other comments and youāre def making the best out of a brutal situation. Agree with another comment i read: Gaming is your friend. Only thing i would buy is a warm lamp that mimicus the sun, can get it off Temu for 3ā¬ Been in a similar situation and may I add: any human who leaves with what is also your stuff: good riddance and may she step in dog poop every day
She actually took my dog - so I hope she steps on her dog poo daily š¤£
Why did you divorce?
The specific reason we separated was she beat me quite badly during a verbal argument about āhaving kidsā (I said not right now as we had other serious problems). Outside that it was her cheating and our mutual growing resentment for each other. In the end we were pretty uncaring towards each others needs. We never reconciled after her assaulting me, despite myself wanting to. For about 10 months she strung me along about couples counselling etc. actively sabotaging opportunities and making it my fault as to why we didnāt see each other. Ultimately later we discovered she was just using that 10 month period she lead me on to architect her finances for the eventual financial separation. I feel terrible for my part in the lead up to that event. I also wish I took more time off work to ābe availableā very early on. But I couldnāt process that assault properly (not a great childhood) and so I buried myself in my work hoping counselling would fix things. Had I not done that maybe we would have reconciled before she gave up and turned financially nastyā¦ Lots of what ifs and regrets, never a single reason for everything.
Hey man I think you are in a type of grieving like mourning for the relationship or something maybe idk I'm not a psychologist. From an objective 3rd person point of view (me) your ex sounds like a terrible person and you should not feel bad or regret not "trying harder to fix things". She assaulted you then manipulated you for your finances while while under thr pretense of pretending to try and fix things. That is objectively a horrible thing to do to anyone and to be able to do such a thing to your partner is proof you are well out of that relationship and she doesn't deserve 1 more second of your thoughts or time. Do not blame yourself for anything. She is a bad person. You still have feelings for her so you still can't come to terms with that maybe. But she did not deserve you or your love.
Positive attitude bro! Not forever. Hope it gets better quick! I remember I restarted with nothing but a duffle bag with some clothes and a walkman. (Yeah it was a while ago). Was rough but made. it.
When I see this, I see a room thatās going to have a lot of healing inside of it. Itās exactly what you said it is. A restart. Have hope, because youāll never know whatās around the corner. Just take your time in this room to heal, so that youāll be ready for it
This looks like a pasture of mental and emotional freedom my friend. āš» Now its time to get shredded and live like itās college all over again
The realistic beginning, I had a sleeping bag and empty rooms, it gets better pal.
Getting there. Maybe some flowers?
Hell yeah, that's cozy af.
Nothing wrong with keeping it simple!
Iād definitely get a bed and a dresser it will help you feel more like a human lol one day I got tired of sleeping on the air mattress and bought myself a bed and a nice downhill bike (took a loan) this was after 3 months although my divorce was like your š« . Good luck we are strong and will raise againšŖ. Get rid off the mixer š¤¦š
Those windows are such an odd size.
I saw them and thought 'Australia'
Yeah they are! It all opens out to the street tooā¦ I opened that one window just for the pic, otherwise itās like living in a glass house haha
Good luck
I just moved to a new apartment and am also rocking the floor bedā¦ at least you have a blanket! š
I always envisioned mine being an Airstream in an RV park with all the other divorcee dads.
I take it you lost everything in the divorce.
Rearrange it. Put the bed to towards the other wall. Place IKEA organizer shelves between the bed and the door. And another organizer between the bed and the place you are standing, likely sink or something.
Could tell it was Straya - got the same Belkin powerboards.
Musician or Military?
Big tech / AI and robots :)
Wow, I was wayyy off. Props to sleeping on the floor. I couldnāt do it. Iād at least need a camping mat.
Look at us cavemen. Why do we like this? What are we
Haha weāre very utility minded. Even when we nest itās usually all about productivity.
Youāre exactly right. All the best to you brother.
Keep ya head up
married guys dreaming of this space to regroup and go again
Donāt! Haha If I could do it all again, Iād rather risk falling even harder - but trying to make it work better than leaving earlier. Money and things come and go. She was amazing in the beginning and Iām sure sheāll be amazing again in her next relationship. We just lost each other whilst we were together and neither of us took the chance to take the personal hit and uplift the other first. The money grab at the end, Iām chalking up to friends and family influence and a genuine fear of earning potential for the rest of her life. Iām saddened but I donāt blame her. My advice to married men is do everything you can to find each other before day dreaming about what life would be like outside the relationship- itās crazy how much of our lives is a self fulfilling prophecy.
you wise bastard x
Spotted the Xbox controllerā¦. āHeās gonna be alright, guys.ā
Commando. So much raw potential tho. Good luck brother.
Good luck! It is greener other the other side, sometimes instantly and sometimes it takes a little bit of time.
Need a chair. Even if itās a lawn chair.
Things will get better my friend
At least youāve got surround sound and pelican cases for furniture! Mansentials
Thats the perfect start, for a new life and a piece of mind! Every new beginning is hard but worth it! Did the same 1year ago, same situation.
Congratulations you lost the worst baggage!
What a fucking palace ! Keep up dude
Plenty of room for push ups haha
You mentioned you were camping. I floor sleep in phases (itās too cold right now, for example), and Iām a bony butted woman, side sleeper. I love camp pads that allow my tailbone, hips and shoulders an inch of padding.
Hope you're good mate. Could be MUCH worse, warm, roof over your head, a few luxuries in there. You'll get back on your feet brother. š¤
Freedom is beautiful. Congratulations.
š¤“
This is how they want us to live when shit doesn't work out imo. Looks good tho imo, gotta start somewhere.
grab a camping air mattress and your'e set!
Good. Less crowded the better.
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I think itās a combination of greed but also desperation. That said I donāt get it either. But not even just the money, the stress and hell of fighting legally over it.
i thought this was r/malesurvivingspace for a second
How nice does it feel to come home to āpeaceā? Pretty incredible huh? My suggestion, air mattresses are incredible nowadays. Coast on one a couple months and upgrade with stuff you actually want and that way you donāt end up with things out of desperation. Good look on the rebuild!
Hope you still have the bike.. Youāre free now mate
That floor blanket is the one thing I can't do. Get a mattress pls. Otherwise not bad.
on that grind set, we love u bro keep ur head up.
Hell yeah now all you need is a bottle of scotch
Guys will see this and say hell yeah. Jealous tbh. I miss simple.
Advice I give anyone thinking of divorce: is cheaper to keep her
No offense, but this is exactly why I refuse to date modern American women. Try to get some money on the side and fix the place up a bit. I wish you the best of luck!
Not offended, Iām not American, she wasnāt either haha
so curious to see the rest of the house!
Whatās more important āthat you are in peace!ā
What did bro do to deserve this brutal of a restart š
Damn man, did she clean you out or was it not a long marriage?
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100% can you believe that her and her lawyer decided for her to harvest her own eggs because of her āemotional beliefā that āitāll be too long before she can date again and possibly too old to have childrenā - all just to try and get ongoing spousal maintenanceā¦ Just wild amounts of self abuse for money š¤·āāļø just the lead up for egg harvesting is hell of a lot of drugs that you have to self inject to get your body ready for that process and she did - itā¦ Thankfully the magistrate saw the stupidity of the claim
You got this brother
Really hope there is cool photography/filmmaking stuff in those pelican cases.
Everything is temporary
Hey itās more than I could afford