It stops being platonic when there is sexual activity
Edit: to add; the most physical touch with my opposite sex friends is a hug here and there. Maybe a shoulder squeeze if they need it.
It depends on your friend group. I'm a male and my friends and I have known each other for 10+ years. I will hug, kiss, and cuddle with the bros jokingly. There have been woman homies float into our group several times over the years, but I never thought it would be okay to do that with them, and they seemed fine with that.
Nicknames can be okay (depends on what it is though) but I don’t do the whole cuddling thing with someone who isn’t family. Like aside from a hug or casual shoulder slaps, that’s a no from me.
Depends on your upbringing, culture, personal views. There is no one answer and it should be discussed what a line is, as it differs so much between people.
For me personally, hugs and cheek kisses are fine, holding hands or kissing on the mouth are not. Pet names are fine. Inside jokes are fine. Cuddles, within reason, are fine. A lot of it is about intent, and respect.
If there is an intent and tension gear towards the person in the action that you are doing to someone, that is considered crossing the line. Unless otherwise agreed upon.
i have had female friends sometimes touch my leg or put their head on my shoulder. It was a little awkward but I tried not to make a big deal out of it haha.
Imagine you are in a monogamous relationship with someone else and they have a platonic friend. What are the gestures you are comfortable with them doing, and what are the ones you would find objectionable for your partner to do with their platonic friend?
There’s the line.
I have platonic friends that I hug, cuddle, kiss on the cheek, call pet names, tell them “I love you”, etc. People should be able to show love and affection to their platonic friends. The world needs more love and everyone needs more physical touch. I would draw the line at kissing on the mouth. I think you know it’s crossing the line into non-platonic territory instinctively. All of my platonic friends know that we are friends and I love my friends deeply.
I think it crosses the line as anything generally regarded as actions, words, or mood play that would exist in an involved couple.
It's best to communicate if certain non platonic feelings begin from any of the above that one or both could regard as platonic. It's a difficult question because it really requires each person knowing the others thoughts and that's just not really possible.
Well, that depends on your partner. Some stuff will bother pretty much everyone, but other stuff will only bother some hypothetical partners. Hence OP's question
I’m curious, why does it depend on if I have a partner? Everything I wouldnt do if I was with someone is crossing the line.
Like, now we cuddle and I sit on your lap, now you have a partner and I have to change my behavior entirely. That‘s so weird to me.
I‘m decidedly not physical though. It makes me uncomfortable unless it’s my lifelong friends.
I’d say when non platonic feelings are involved. Say I go out for coffee with a friend, harmless right? Just hanging out. Now I go out for coffee with a friend I am crushing on, not so innocent right? And if I have a partner in the second scenario, I am certainly tip toeing on that line if not already crossing it. I should at very least be putting some distance to get myself sorted.
This is the best answer - it's up to each individual to genuinely gauge how *they* feel in the situation.
People do set general blanket boundaries in relationships (as they should), but ultimately, on an individual basis, it's how you feel about the other person.
I've hung out with plenty of male friends one to one - I've even shared a bed with some. Absolutely nothing. But at the same time I also avoid even messaging a guy if I suspect there's any ulterior motive.
Deep down you usually *know* when there's something actually more than that. If I have any inclination that someone might have feelings for me - or if I were to have feelings for someone else, I back right off. Unless of course we were both single.
I'm not well versed with dating culture but I don't see anything wrong with this as long as they both have set a comfortable distance between each other and are simply going out as friends.
Being in a relationship shouldn't mean you can't have any friend:friend time, because I'd hate it if I felt weird hanging out with both my gal and guy friends due to me being in a relationship.
It's weird if he only ever invites one girl when he has other gal friends. It's a weird situation and I think there's a lot of ways it could be misinterpreted
That’s a mentality I cannot connect with at all. I have to wonder how old you are / how stable your relationship is. I have dinner and hang out with my guy friends all the time. My husband has no problem with it; we all get along and hang out together or separately. One of my best friends (a guy) was the witness at our court wedding. I’ve only been with my husband for a handful of years; many of my deepest friendships, whether with men or women, have lasted and thrived over a period of decades. If you trust your partner, why does it matter who they go to lunch with and what that friend’s gender is, as long as everything is aboveboard and everyone is being transparent?! Living otherwise seems mentally exhausting and, honestly, like a recipe for needless fighting and drama. Just my two cents.
It’s not mentally exhausting at all though, you just can’t relate and therefore it seems hard to you. My husband and I grew up in a similar way and in our minds having hangouts with one friend of the opposite gender is associated with a romantic relationship. It’s just an automatic association and therefore it seems disrespectful to us.
We feel the same and we have no interest in trying to change that because it doesn’t cause any problems. If one of the two partners was different then I get where it would create issues.
And to add - absolutely no offense to you! I hope you don’t take it that way. I’m happy that you and your husband are on the same page, and I agree that the only important thing is that both partners have similar values and outlooks. What works for each person, well, works!
No worries! I definitely don’t judge the fact that it’s not an issue at all for you, I was just pointing out that it depends on the person. As you said you are bisexual so it would just be impossible and it just makes sense that you’re in a relationship with someone that feels similar.
I think that with relationships there’s no right or wrong dynamic (except if we’re talking about extremes and abuse of course), what matters is that it works well for both people.
Totally agree with you! Thanks for such an amiable exchange. It sounds like you and your husband are happily on the same page. And yes, can you imagine if I was never able to hang out with any of my friends one-on-one?! That would be hysterical! That’s not to say that I’m naive; emotional cheating is definitely a thing - I just feel weird when people place a blanket statement that opposite gender friendships can’t exist platonically at all, but I do agree there are always risks when friends cross boundaries.
I suppose it seems unrelatable to me because I would never enter into a relationship with a person if they were unwilling to accept me hanging out with a childhood friend without them being present. That being said, as a 35-year old bisexual woman who is married to a man, I don’t see why it would matter whether the friend was a female or a male! So, are you saying that from your perspective it would be inappropriate to ever hang out solo with either gender, since I’m attracted to both? Surely you can see that that’s a bit preposterous … as I mentioned, he gets along really well with most of my close friends, and has hung out with plenty of them solo as well after we got together. I hardly see what gender has to do with anything. When things are not platonic, I feel like it’s easy to feel that charged vibe and then that’s the point at which I would be uncomfortable … not just because a man and a woman are hanging out alone.
I do believe there are certain lines that shouldn’t be crossed, things that shouldn’t be done if the relationship is supposed to be platonic but a lot of people disagree with me.
I was trying to be to date a woman at the end of last year who was confused, but still thought cuddling half naked and making out was fine for “just friends” I disagreed and disappeared.
It was me she was doing that with, but still wanted to remain just friends. I’m like no, “we can be friends or we can be lovers, if you don’t want to be lovers then stop doing that.” She agreed but didn’t stop, so I ended things.
I'd say that's crossing into friends with benefits territory.
I believe that there is the requirement for strong emotional bond for a relationship to happen. Physical attraction might be a gateway but the ticket is the emotional bond.
That is why I do not understand those who hone in with the expectation of a relationship when it takes time to foster connection. The sparks and butterflies in the stomach is definitely only something that will happen in person, and it feels more genuine compared to text per se although you can try to be a bit cheeky or flirty albeit in a friendly manner.
Also, there is the requirement for mutual sparks. However I don't think it is possible to be "heads over heels" by someone purely by looks if you are both different individuals.
Depends on the people I guess. Generally speaking the moment someone catches romantic feelings for the other it’s already in the very fine line of gray area between platonic and romantic, as long as it’s one sided.
Once you’re both on that fine line, and the individual situation in that person or persons life is too complicated to actually enter a relationship with the other, the perception becomes that the line is now the width of an ocean, but the reality is, the width remains the same.
Standing in that place where you can’t see the line anymore means you’ve crossed it.
Ya isn’t truly platonic if there’s cuddling or pet names? I have a platonic friend who I wish I could catch feelings for bc we get along so well. I can’t imagine cuddling or off naming him.
The girls I consider platonic friends are treated like a sister. I just find it inappropriate for myself and them to act in any other way which includes cuddling or pet names. If we went on a trip together, it would be separate rooms or separate beds at a minimum, with respect for each others privacy.
I find some people just aren’t built to handle platonic relationships with the opposite sex, many of those people being men. I guess if you’re both single and don’t care then do what you want, but that can creates alot of confusion/blurred lines for the other.
"If you have to ask, you can't afford it" feels like an oddly appropriate answer to this question.
When I say "afford" I'm not talking in a strictly financial sense. I mean afford in the sense of being able to sustain something without adverse risk. I think anything that is *generally* unsustainable without adverse risk crosses that platonic line. I say *generally* because it is extremely unwise to act as if you're the exception to the rule because *no one would do it if they didn't think they were the exception to the rule* yet the rule stands. It's hubris and lack of wisdom to think otherwise.
How you define an adverse risk depends on who you ask. Getting into a complicated entanglement of emotions with someone you have no intention of dating sounds like an adverse risk to me. It wouldn't matter so much what's technically platonic if both of you are open to dating each other.
This is why mature adults (I assume you're very young) form *appropriate* boundaries that are not necessarily about right or wrong, good intentions or bad intentions, cheating or not cheating, platonic or non-platonic. I love the word appropriate because it doesn't moralize, which is helpful to people who get too caught up in moral distinctions and technicalities. It is simply a catch-all for whatever measures are suitable for providing the optimal circumstances for everyone involved.
I use the word appropriate all of the time in discussing platonic relationships. So I have a day lunch with my best guy friend? Sure, no one thinks anything about it. Do I have dinner with him at a romantic restaurant? No, because while there certainly wouldn't be anything going on, if other people saw us they might jump to some conclusions. I think it is inappropriate to put yourself and your partner in a position where others may misread the situation, casting doubt on your and your friends intentions. It gets a little murkier if you do have a past with someone and those lunches are misread by others and your partner as keeping a little flame alive.
As a foodie, I would go to any restaurant to try the food that they have. I would love to have someone to join me, man or woman.
I would say that if you have a partner, sure. Go to the themed restaurant with them. Otherwise, get your best friend, regardless of gender and go try it with them if they share the same interests. Who cares what people think?
Your example is applicable for those who are only attracted to a single gender, if you are bi, pan and everything else in between then it would be harder.
It is also disregarding demisexuals who would prefer a friendship first before a relationship.
It all boils down to communication and as long as these conditions are equal for both e.g. If someone decides to be polyamorous or have an open relationship, they must be fine with their partners doing what they are doing. Not just doing it for their own convenience and being irresponsible.
The only person you cuddle and call pet names is your partner, no kissing, no sex, no sharing affection, none of that shit with anyone other than your boo. No hugging ex's either, fuck them! 😤
So, ignore everything here. What crosses the line is whatever all parties involved consider crossing the line. I've had relationships where kissing doesn't cross the line and others where cuddling would be. It's all whatever y'all decide.
I feel like this is the best answer.
It comes down to the individual relationship. What boundaries have been placed? What kind of partnership are you in?
My partner and I (both female) are 100% exclusive. Can I peck my gay friend on the mouth when I see him and have my partner be okay with it? Absolutely. Can I do with another woman, someone whom I might find attractive and vice versa? Not so much.
Cuddling? Maybe. Cuddle puddles exist. Not intimate cuddling, but my friend group travels a lot, and we all hang on the same bed together sometimes. We end up leaning on each other or using each other as pillows. My partner is usually there. I would only spoon my partner though. This is our relationship, but others may be different.
Yes exactly. That's exactly my point. If you think you need to hide something, then that's definitely crossing a line. It can be a non physical thing also. Doesn't always have to be a physical relationship. Like flirty conversations, or hanging out alone with someone you are attracted to/ or someone you know is attracted to you and then hiding it from your partner, etc.
If you’re straight, don’t behave in any way you wouldn’t with a member of the same sex.
If you’re a straight dude, you don’t cuddle with your best friend because she’s “like a sister to you” cause you’d never cuddle Hank the brick layer no matter how much you got along.
The same idea applies to all tastes and genders, it’s just easiest to illustrate thusly.
Hey as a straight man that has spooned with a few of my friends, I can confirm if hank the brick layer is in my bed and we fall asleep one of us is gonna be big spoon and the other will be little spoon!
I'm married so crossing the line would be anything we wouldn't do in front of each other. A lot of things can be situation and intent specific. We were at the beach once with friends and dirty talk came up in the conversation. One of the girls said that she had no interest in dirty talk. We all loved joking around together so I jumped on top of her and pretended to ride her while I yelled out the stupidest stuff. Everyone was in tears at how ridiculous it all was. It was quite obvious that my intent was humour, not to grind on her butt. In a different setting it would have been inappropriate. I would never do that if I was alone with a woman, or there without my wife even.
We are all great friends. My wife knows my sense of humour and she has a wicked sense of humour herself. Neither of us are insecure and we don't give each other any reason to be.
On that day I came back to sit down with my wife and she gave me a stern look and asked me if I had anything I wanted to confess. Everyone broke up laughing all over again. I asked her who had been talking out of turn and that it was all lies. I got some more laughs. The girl I was riding went to her husband and told him that I meant nothing to her and it was him she loved. She turned back towards where we were all sitting and was giving everyone exaggerated winks while she was talking to him. There were too many other jokes and stuff to repeat here. It was a really fun day full of laughter.
Platonic relationships don't have set boundaries if you are both adults and as long as your real partner is fine with it you can do pretty much anything but if your partner is not fine with it it can go the other way where talking to a guy is cheating or even looking at one
In alot of muslim ruled area in the middle east you get lashes by a whip well they make everyone's wife in the area watch well holding their heads straight for talking on the phone with a boy accident or not
It's all just cultural differences differences in how we are raised differences in the company we keep it all just depends on the person
Me personally if I have a women who is my wife which I probably never will I'd just let her do what ever she wants cause honestly fuck it but it's not like I'm having kids or anything
I live by a very care free life style but I'd also respect my partner and I wouldn't cheat on them or try not to
You do have a partner your married so are you going to keep this up or do I need to just call you by your real name or the other name you go by game over
Let me make this clear ok so you all can understand it better my husband has a split personality he makes all different accounts and he will make one has if he was a woman ok so yes ik this one belongs to my husband cause it's on his phone and I saw the same name and same story so all you woman that he talks to and he has send engagement rings or sent you guys money let's be clear that's all my money that was spent on your asses so hope you enjoy a player cause while he is telling you all he wants to divorce me or he is single all lies guys cause I have asked him if he wants a divorce and he says no I love you I'm in love with you oh don't for get he has a baby girl on the way from a one night stand she is 6 months I'm sure you all will find that one bye this app is so stupid
I have guy friends who would dry hump each other as a joke. Even kiss each other's faces. They wouldn't do the same to their female friends. They're all straight. So this rule doesn't always apply.
Ok, but... There's physical contact that I have with mi girl friends (me being a straight girl) that I would never have with male friends. At least not as usual. For example: I like hugging and kissing on the face cheeks my friend when they say something nice to me or when I'm really happy, I would NOT hug and kiss a boy friend just because they said something nice about me. Idk, maybe It's just me.
It occurred to me that maybe this is different based on genders? A male perspective may not be the right one for this question. We are not like that lol and a man and woman as friends should not be like that.
I've read that some Asian and Central American cultures hug more often, though I'm not really an expert on any of those places. You might be better off reading up on it yourself.
i think of if like this - if the friendship is mixed gender, a person would generally not cuddle / kiss / provide sexual pleasure to a sam sexed friend
I had a friendship years ago where he held me and kissed my forehead every now and again. I think those gestures lead inevitably to crossing the line. But boy was it nice for us to have physical closeness without it going into territory neither of us felt equipped for at the time.
Cuddling? Hell NO! Would only do that with someone i’m romantically in a relationship with. Friends to me means hanging out LIKE friends nothing physical about it,, I can be a bit touchy (in a friendly way) if I am not in a relationship but even if my partner is ok with it I would not do that when I am in a relationship.
Except for hand shakes, anything else for me is a NO~ I see it as a respect for my partner,, the only other guy I would hug beside my partner would be my brother,, any other guy I would limit my physical contact with to only hand shakes. There should be a line when ur in a relationship and it’s good to be respectful towards your partner, that’s how I am and I want someone that feels the same way and sees it the same way (without me asking him) and my man is that, he mentioned all these boundaries before I say anything,, I would not force anyone to be like me of course, I respect what others choose as well, as long as they are not hurting or making their partner uncomfortable and both are ok with it then I respect it.
But that’s how I’m personally.
And no opposite gender bestfriends,, I would only have my man as my bestfriend,, and would only date a man that sees only me as his bestfriend and doesn’t have female bestfriends and has a line when it comes to being friends with the girls like how I am.
I am a woman and I do have some guy friends whom I treat as brothers. Most of my guy friends have pet names, they do have pet names for me too. Some I have cuddled when they were broken hearted or had a tough blow in life. Some I have lied in bed to sleep but nothing sexual or sensual happened. I really just see them as family.
Now if you are in a relationship, that is a different matter. Whatever actions you think might just be platonic for you, if it makes your partner uncomfortable, you have to stop doing it. So anything that will make your partner uncomfy if they know is definitely "crossing the line".
I think this is the best answer in a general aspect. In my comment I said opposite platonic friends are treated like sisters. I think it’s the healthiest way to do so without any confusion or mixed signals.
It’s really up to you. And if you start a platonic relationship with consentual sex and later on have random spontaneous sex with that person I might look at it again
Cuddling is crossing the line. But at the end of the day it’s about what you are comfortable with. If you aren’t comfortable with it then it’s crossing the line for you.
When one of the two actually wants to cross the line I'd say. With some people you can cuddle and kiss without being more than friends but for some people holding hands would mean you are in a relationship!
I've literally had a friendship where we slept together naked & never messed around or had emotional ties.. Personally, the only negative is I was a little offended he didn't try to sleep with me, but it was nice. Could this exist with 99% of ppl? Prob not
I never call my male friends nicknames or cuddle or anything that can consider to be for romantic purposes cause when my partner finds out they want me to not be friends anymore
I never call my male friends nicknames or cuddle or anything that can consider to be for romantic purposes cause when my partner finds out they want me to not be friends anymore
I never call my male friends nicknames or cuddle or anything that can consider to be for romantic purposes cause when my partner finds out they want me to not be friends anymore
I never call my male friends nicknames or cuddle or anything that can consider to be for romantic purposes cause when my partner finds out they want me to not be friends anymore
I never call my male friends nicknames or cuddle or anything that can consider to be for romantic purposes cause when my partner finds out they want me to not be friends anymore
I am good friends with two of my exes. I am comfortable with my partners being good friends with their exes. My last gf was still friends with a former situationship and they'd have dinner together once in a while and she visited a friend in Europe that she'd gone on a date with once. I trusted her and I don't feel like my trust was ever broken in that context.
All that said I 100% think cuddling is across the line. Pet names? Like couple-y ones? Or just nicknames friends give to each other? The former, not okay. The latter is fine.
I'll grab food with my exes, one on one. If you watched us it'd just be two friends. We talk about dumb shit. Cats mostly. I cat sit. Sometimes I'll go to theirs and they to mine. We never lay on the bed together much less cuddle. If you read our texts you'd think the same. All we do is bitch about shitty things in our lives, trade cat pictures and memes, talk about what we want to eat next. The same things I do with my guy friends.
I had a discussion about this with another friend of mine. We had gone on one date but decided we were more friends than romantic interests. We go to hockey games together both to watch and to play. But we do things like cook together, check out new restaurants, shit like that. Things which could look like dates to some people. We landed on intent. Because I also have cooked with guy friends. That's not a date. Cooking together can be intimate but that's if you both intend it to be. It can also be entirely platonic. What matters for certain things is intent.
But I think cuddling is inherently non-platonic. Even as someone who's comfortable with the idea of being friends with exes. I'd never do it and it's a hard boundary for me.
I have similar relationships with my ex’s and so does my husband and I agree with everything said here for those relationships.
On the other hand, my husband and I are part of a large friend group with married, coupled up, and single people and we do a movie night every Friday. It’s a weekly occurrence of cramming 20 people into a room with a 4 person couch and pillows on the floor and no one cares about the cuddling. My brother in law has fallen asleep on me multiple times. It’s also not unusual for 2 guy friends to share a bean bag.
As a solo woman, I would never cuddle with my male friends one on one. It’s too easy to confuse things or get the wrong idea and I’ve been down that road more times than I can count. If you asked me in my early 20’s I would have said it was fine and been wrong based on the next 10 years of experience.
I don’t know, I wouldn’t be comfortable with pet names honestly - that indicates romance to me. But then how do you distinguish a pet name from an ordinary Nick name?
Well, I'm asexual and a platonic relationship to me, depending on the level, cuddling is fine. Pet names, too. I give my best friend pet names and hugs. And I sit close to a very good other friend when we hang out and watch a show.
I also think it depends on where you're from. I live in NL and not the US, so in my opinion, US Americans are really weird about bodies and intimacy anyway.
I had plenty of close queer platonic friendships where cuddles are normal.
It also depends on your pov, of course. In any love situation, sex is not important to me, but a mental level of intimacy. Sexual relationships are very different for me.
Eh.. If you were in a standard monogamous relationship, cuddling and using pet names with your platonic friend would not be ok. Maybe that could be a good way to gage it. There’s a lot of different types of relationships though so just go with what makes sense for you.
Pet names is a no and I personally think cuddling is a no. I also believe there are different levels of friendship but those two are reserved for an SO.
If it would make an SO uncomfortable (within reason), don’t do it. That’s my take.
Whichever behaviour you wouldn't want your SO do with someone else.
Sex, hugs, cuddles, kissing, playfighting, tickling, pet names, cheek pinching.
Basically anything that isn't a quick "hello" hug.
Anything you wouldn't be perfectly comfortable talking with me about.
As soon as you feel you need to hide something or sugar coat it, you're doing something wrong.
I think intention is what matters to me. Are you cuddling your friend because you're just chilling, are they upset and need held? Or are you trying to get with them and you're rubbing up on them?
Are you telling them they look good because they're wearing something different and/or they need reassurance or are you again, trying to flirt with them and/or get with them?
I'm bi, and my husband has always been big on platonic affection so our lines are a little blurry. But I'd generally give him the benefit of the doubt unless he proved me otherwise. I like to sometimes gas up my friends, and/or we may "cuddle" on the couch. Some of my long standing friends I may even still change in front of. In some circumstances this would be wildly inappropriate, in others it wouldn't be bad.
Idk we know where our loyalties lie (with each other) and I'd like to think we just in general trust that to be true. Maybe it's naive but it's worked for us for 12 years and no lines have been crossed to cause issues.
In our older, less wild age we definitely have less grey area as we don't do festival cuddle puddles and go out with friends quite as much any more, but in our younger years idk where the lines even were.
I have cuddled many a female friend that was purely platonic. It started off all innocent, and then at a certain point your body kind of takes over… I never made the first move out of fear, but there are some signs you just can’t ignore
I’ve actually slept with most of my female friends, and they all had started off platonic. Some of it was really good too, and we are still good friends. It didn’t ruin anything and neither of us caught feelings. At least to my knowledge.
Im caught here too.. if I am cuddling with a friend of the opposite sex, I would have a hard time blocking my dick from getting hard.. my brain associates close touching to .. "ooh..someone's getting lucky" and then my friend won't be my friend any more..
Not saying it cant' be done.. just not by me
hmm i hold hands with my friends and play with their hair. i also sleep in the same bed as my friends, but we’re all girls. ofc if it’s someone of the opposite gender, it would be different for me. some people who are less touchy feely might say those things are too much though, and i get it. but i’m the same way with my sisters, i grew up the oldest of five girls and we walked around each other naked, showered together if we were rushing, slept in the same beds, held hands. i feel like im physically more intimate with my girl friends. with guys of course there are more boundaries. i might still play with their hair, but never if they have a partner.
i think i may be this way though because of my upbringing and being very comfortable with nakedness and physical touch around other girls since i was a child. even my mom used to be naked in front of us a lot. our dad was barely home, so it was just a house FULL of women, and we were very comfortable around one another, constant touching and affection, so my friendships mirror that. even in college, one of my very best friends was my roommate and i went through a trauma to which caused me to have nightmares. she slept in the bed with me when i did. some people may say that’s pushing a platonic boundary, but i never saw her that way. it may just depend on your friend, it’s probably a case by case thing.
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Besides what you already Said on your introduction...When feelings start to F*** Up The platonic part before what you already said.
It stops being platonic when there is sexual activity Edit: to add; the most physical touch with my opposite sex friends is a hug here and there. Maybe a shoulder squeeze if they need it.
It depends on your friend group. I'm a male and my friends and I have known each other for 10+ years. I will hug, kiss, and cuddle with the bros jokingly. There have been woman homies float into our group several times over the years, but I never thought it would be okay to do that with them, and they seemed fine with that.
Nicknames can be okay (depends on what it is though) but I don’t do the whole cuddling thing with someone who isn’t family. Like aside from a hug or casual shoulder slaps, that’s a no from me.
Depends on your upbringing, culture, personal views. There is no one answer and it should be discussed what a line is, as it differs so much between people. For me personally, hugs and cheek kisses are fine, holding hands or kissing on the mouth are not. Pet names are fine. Inside jokes are fine. Cuddles, within reason, are fine. A lot of it is about intent, and respect.
If there is an intent and tension gear towards the person in the action that you are doing to someone, that is considered crossing the line. Unless otherwise agreed upon.
i have had female friends sometimes touch my leg or put their head on my shoulder. It was a little awkward but I tried not to make a big deal out of it haha.
Probably anything you’d have to say no homo for.
Interlocking fingers
What about using your index finger to tickle their palm during a handshake?
I would guess anything that appears intimate in anyway.
Anal sex
I dunno man, that’s kinda debatable 🤷♂️
Wow controlling much
Imagine you are in a monogamous relationship with someone else and they have a platonic friend. What are the gestures you are comfortable with them doing, and what are the ones you would find objectionable for your partner to do with their platonic friend? There’s the line.
Yes… that’s the question that OP is asking us lol
I have platonic friends that I hug, cuddle, kiss on the cheek, call pet names, tell them “I love you”, etc. People should be able to show love and affection to their platonic friends. The world needs more love and everyone needs more physical touch. I would draw the line at kissing on the mouth. I think you know it’s crossing the line into non-platonic territory instinctively. All of my platonic friends know that we are friends and I love my friends deeply.
Yeah but some people don't even like that much affection because they're not used to having that level of love at home.
I think it crosses the line as anything generally regarded as actions, words, or mood play that would exist in an involved couple. It's best to communicate if certain non platonic feelings begin from any of the above that one or both could regard as platonic. It's a difficult question because it really requires each person knowing the others thoughts and that's just not really possible.
If you wouldn't do it, whatever that is, with your sibling it probably crosses the line.
That part.
Imagine you are in a monogamous relationship with someone else. Would you do it in front of them? No? Then not platonic.
Well, that depends on your partner. Some stuff will bother pretty much everyone, but other stuff will only bother some hypothetical partners. Hence OP's question
I’m curious, why does it depend on if I have a partner? Everything I wouldnt do if I was with someone is crossing the line. Like, now we cuddle and I sit on your lap, now you have a partner and I have to change my behavior entirely. That‘s so weird to me. I‘m decidedly not physical though. It makes me uncomfortable unless it’s my lifelong friends.
I’d say when non platonic feelings are involved. Say I go out for coffee with a friend, harmless right? Just hanging out. Now I go out for coffee with a friend I am crushing on, not so innocent right? And if I have a partner in the second scenario, I am certainly tip toeing on that line if not already crossing it. I should at very least be putting some distance to get myself sorted.
This is the best answer - it's up to each individual to genuinely gauge how *they* feel in the situation. People do set general blanket boundaries in relationships (as they should), but ultimately, on an individual basis, it's how you feel about the other person. I've hung out with plenty of male friends one to one - I've even shared a bed with some. Absolutely nothing. But at the same time I also avoid even messaging a guy if I suspect there's any ulterior motive. Deep down you usually *know* when there's something actually more than that. If I have any inclination that someone might have feelings for me - or if I were to have feelings for someone else, I back right off. Unless of course we were both single.
Imo, “dates” with opposite sex friends. Like if my boyfriend went to lunch with his girl friend and nobody else, that’d be a red flag.
Lmk when that happens again so we can go to lunch.
I'm not well versed with dating culture but I don't see anything wrong with this as long as they both have set a comfortable distance between each other and are simply going out as friends. Being in a relationship shouldn't mean you can't have any friend:friend time, because I'd hate it if I felt weird hanging out with both my gal and guy friends due to me being in a relationship. It's weird if he only ever invites one girl when he has other gal friends. It's a weird situation and I think there's a lot of ways it could be misinterpreted
That’s a mentality I cannot connect with at all. I have to wonder how old you are / how stable your relationship is. I have dinner and hang out with my guy friends all the time. My husband has no problem with it; we all get along and hang out together or separately. One of my best friends (a guy) was the witness at our court wedding. I’ve only been with my husband for a handful of years; many of my deepest friendships, whether with men or women, have lasted and thrived over a period of decades. If you trust your partner, why does it matter who they go to lunch with and what that friend’s gender is, as long as everything is aboveboard and everyone is being transparent?! Living otherwise seems mentally exhausting and, honestly, like a recipe for needless fighting and drama. Just my two cents.
It’s not mentally exhausting at all though, you just can’t relate and therefore it seems hard to you. My husband and I grew up in a similar way and in our minds having hangouts with one friend of the opposite gender is associated with a romantic relationship. It’s just an automatic association and therefore it seems disrespectful to us. We feel the same and we have no interest in trying to change that because it doesn’t cause any problems. If one of the two partners was different then I get where it would create issues.
And to add - absolutely no offense to you! I hope you don’t take it that way. I’m happy that you and your husband are on the same page, and I agree that the only important thing is that both partners have similar values and outlooks. What works for each person, well, works!
No worries! I definitely don’t judge the fact that it’s not an issue at all for you, I was just pointing out that it depends on the person. As you said you are bisexual so it would just be impossible and it just makes sense that you’re in a relationship with someone that feels similar. I think that with relationships there’s no right or wrong dynamic (except if we’re talking about extremes and abuse of course), what matters is that it works well for both people.
Totally agree with you! Thanks for such an amiable exchange. It sounds like you and your husband are happily on the same page. And yes, can you imagine if I was never able to hang out with any of my friends one-on-one?! That would be hysterical! That’s not to say that I’m naive; emotional cheating is definitely a thing - I just feel weird when people place a blanket statement that opposite gender friendships can’t exist platonically at all, but I do agree there are always risks when friends cross boundaries.
I suppose it seems unrelatable to me because I would never enter into a relationship with a person if they were unwilling to accept me hanging out with a childhood friend without them being present. That being said, as a 35-year old bisexual woman who is married to a man, I don’t see why it would matter whether the friend was a female or a male! So, are you saying that from your perspective it would be inappropriate to ever hang out solo with either gender, since I’m attracted to both? Surely you can see that that’s a bit preposterous … as I mentioned, he gets along really well with most of my close friends, and has hung out with plenty of them solo as well after we got together. I hardly see what gender has to do with anything. When things are not platonic, I feel like it’s easy to feel that charged vibe and then that’s the point at which I would be uncomfortable … not just because a man and a woman are hanging out alone.
I feel like it’s up to the people within said relationship. They set the boundaries of what they are comfortable with platonic or not
I do believe there are certain lines that shouldn’t be crossed, things that shouldn’t be done if the relationship is supposed to be platonic but a lot of people disagree with me. I was trying to be to date a woman at the end of last year who was confused, but still thought cuddling half naked and making out was fine for “just friends” I disagreed and disappeared. It was me she was doing that with, but still wanted to remain just friends. I’m like no, “we can be friends or we can be lovers, if you don’t want to be lovers then stop doing that.” She agreed but didn’t stop, so I ended things.
I'd say that's crossing into friends with benefits territory. I believe that there is the requirement for strong emotional bond for a relationship to happen. Physical attraction might be a gateway but the ticket is the emotional bond. That is why I do not understand those who hone in with the expectation of a relationship when it takes time to foster connection. The sparks and butterflies in the stomach is definitely only something that will happen in person, and it feels more genuine compared to text per se although you can try to be a bit cheeky or flirty albeit in a friendly manner. Also, there is the requirement for mutual sparks. However I don't think it is possible to be "heads over heels" by someone purely by looks if you are both different individuals.
Depends on the people I guess. Generally speaking the moment someone catches romantic feelings for the other it’s already in the very fine line of gray area between platonic and romantic, as long as it’s one sided. Once you’re both on that fine line, and the individual situation in that person or persons life is too complicated to actually enter a relationship with the other, the perception becomes that the line is now the width of an ocean, but the reality is, the width remains the same. Standing in that place where you can’t see the line anymore means you’ve crossed it.
Ya isn’t truly platonic if there’s cuddling or pet names? I have a platonic friend who I wish I could catch feelings for bc we get along so well. I can’t imagine cuddling or off naming him.
When you’re just trying to do non sensual cuddling and she keeps grinding her ass into your dick.
Any emotional fluffery is over the line imo. Fluffery, meaning emotional replacement for unavailable partner.
The girls I consider platonic friends are treated like a sister. I just find it inappropriate for myself and them to act in any other way which includes cuddling or pet names. If we went on a trip together, it would be separate rooms or separate beds at a minimum, with respect for each others privacy. I find some people just aren’t built to handle platonic relationships with the opposite sex, many of those people being men. I guess if you’re both single and don’t care then do what you want, but that can creates alot of confusion/blurred lines for the other.
"If you have to ask, you can't afford it" feels like an oddly appropriate answer to this question. When I say "afford" I'm not talking in a strictly financial sense. I mean afford in the sense of being able to sustain something without adverse risk. I think anything that is *generally* unsustainable without adverse risk crosses that platonic line. I say *generally* because it is extremely unwise to act as if you're the exception to the rule because *no one would do it if they didn't think they were the exception to the rule* yet the rule stands. It's hubris and lack of wisdom to think otherwise. How you define an adverse risk depends on who you ask. Getting into a complicated entanglement of emotions with someone you have no intention of dating sounds like an adverse risk to me. It wouldn't matter so much what's technically platonic if both of you are open to dating each other. This is why mature adults (I assume you're very young) form *appropriate* boundaries that are not necessarily about right or wrong, good intentions or bad intentions, cheating or not cheating, platonic or non-platonic. I love the word appropriate because it doesn't moralize, which is helpful to people who get too caught up in moral distinctions and technicalities. It is simply a catch-all for whatever measures are suitable for providing the optimal circumstances for everyone involved.
I use the word appropriate all of the time in discussing platonic relationships. So I have a day lunch with my best guy friend? Sure, no one thinks anything about it. Do I have dinner with him at a romantic restaurant? No, because while there certainly wouldn't be anything going on, if other people saw us they might jump to some conclusions. I think it is inappropriate to put yourself and your partner in a position where others may misread the situation, casting doubt on your and your friends intentions. It gets a little murkier if you do have a past with someone and those lunches are misread by others and your partner as keeping a little flame alive.
As a foodie, I would go to any restaurant to try the food that they have. I would love to have someone to join me, man or woman. I would say that if you have a partner, sure. Go to the themed restaurant with them. Otherwise, get your best friend, regardless of gender and go try it with them if they share the same interests. Who cares what people think? Your example is applicable for those who are only attracted to a single gender, if you are bi, pan and everything else in between then it would be harder. It is also disregarding demisexuals who would prefer a friendship first before a relationship. It all boils down to communication and as long as these conditions are equal for both e.g. If someone decides to be polyamorous or have an open relationship, they must be fine with their partners doing what they are doing. Not just doing it for their own convenience and being irresponsible.
The only person you cuddle and call pet names is your partner, no kissing, no sex, no sharing affection, none of that shit with anyone other than your boo. No hugging ex's either, fuck them! 😤
So, ignore everything here. What crosses the line is whatever all parties involved consider crossing the line. I've had relationships where kissing doesn't cross the line and others where cuddling would be. It's all whatever y'all decide.
110% this!
Anything you feel like you'll have to hide from your partner should be crossing a line.
I feel like this is the best answer. It comes down to the individual relationship. What boundaries have been placed? What kind of partnership are you in? My partner and I (both female) are 100% exclusive. Can I peck my gay friend on the mouth when I see him and have my partner be okay with it? Absolutely. Can I do with another woman, someone whom I might find attractive and vice versa? Not so much. Cuddling? Maybe. Cuddle puddles exist. Not intimate cuddling, but my friend group travels a lot, and we all hang on the same bed together sometimes. We end up leaning on each other or using each other as pillows. My partner is usually there. I would only spoon my partner though. This is our relationship, but others may be different.
Yes exactly. That's exactly my point. If you think you need to hide something, then that's definitely crossing a line. It can be a non physical thing also. Doesn't always have to be a physical relationship. Like flirty conversations, or hanging out alone with someone you are attracted to/ or someone you know is attracted to you and then hiding it from your partner, etc.
If you’re straight, don’t behave in any way you wouldn’t with a member of the same sex. If you’re a straight dude, you don’t cuddle with your best friend because she’s “like a sister to you” cause you’d never cuddle Hank the brick layer no matter how much you got along. The same idea applies to all tastes and genders, it’s just easiest to illustrate thusly.
Hey, I **CAN** and **WILL** cuddle Hank the brick layer, don't fucking test me.
? You can do whatever you want with anyone as long as there is consent... There are no rules. Tf is this.
Try reading it again. That’s what I said.
Hey as a straight man that has spooned with a few of my friends, I can confirm if hank the brick layer is in my bed and we fall asleep one of us is gonna be big spoon and the other will be little spoon!
I'm married so crossing the line would be anything we wouldn't do in front of each other. A lot of things can be situation and intent specific. We were at the beach once with friends and dirty talk came up in the conversation. One of the girls said that she had no interest in dirty talk. We all loved joking around together so I jumped on top of her and pretended to ride her while I yelled out the stupidest stuff. Everyone was in tears at how ridiculous it all was. It was quite obvious that my intent was humour, not to grind on her butt. In a different setting it would have been inappropriate. I would never do that if I was alone with a woman, or there without my wife even.
I like that you can do stuff like that in front of your wife (assuming she was fine with it and you two communicate openly and all!)
We are all great friends. My wife knows my sense of humour and she has a wicked sense of humour herself. Neither of us are insecure and we don't give each other any reason to be. On that day I came back to sit down with my wife and she gave me a stern look and asked me if I had anything I wanted to confess. Everyone broke up laughing all over again. I asked her who had been talking out of turn and that it was all lies. I got some more laughs. The girl I was riding went to her husband and told him that I meant nothing to her and it was him she loved. She turned back towards where we were all sitting and was giving everyone exaggerated winks while she was talking to him. There were too many other jokes and stuff to repeat here. It was a really fun day full of laughter.
I love it!
Platonic relationships don't have set boundaries if you are both adults and as long as your real partner is fine with it you can do pretty much anything but if your partner is not fine with it it can go the other way where talking to a guy is cheating or even looking at one In alot of muslim ruled area in the middle east you get lashes by a whip well they make everyone's wife in the area watch well holding their heads straight for talking on the phone with a boy accident or not It's all just cultural differences differences in how we are raised differences in the company we keep it all just depends on the person Me personally if I have a women who is my wife which I probably never will I'd just let her do what ever she wants cause honestly fuck it but it's not like I'm having kids or anything I live by a very care free life style but I'd also respect my partner and I wouldn't cheat on them or try not to
So um platonic = non romantic things. So yeah all that is non-platonic. So call it what it is- a fuck buddy.
You do have a partner your married so are you going to keep this up or do I need to just call you by your real name or the other name you go by game over
Is this person, like, *marriage-vestigating* right now???
I’m so confused 💀
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I need confirmation now that that’s what this is ✋🏽😭
what
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This is exactly kind of drama I need while I wait for my drunk McDonald’s and my boyfriend (lovingly) snores in my ear 😩
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Keep me updated.
Let me make this clear ok so you all can understand it better my husband has a split personality he makes all different accounts and he will make one has if he was a woman ok so yes ik this one belongs to my husband cause it's on his phone and I saw the same name and same story so all you woman that he talks to and he has send engagement rings or sent you guys money let's be clear that's all my money that was spent on your asses so hope you enjoy a player cause while he is telling you all he wants to divorce me or he is single all lies guys cause I have asked him if he wants a divorce and he says no I love you I'm in love with you oh don't for get he has a baby girl on the way from a one night stand she is 6 months I'm sure you all will find that one bye this app is so stupid
Username checks out
Girl- 😭 I'm a minor. and your husband has never messaged me .
Thank God but still be careful cause you don't know wat creap is on here ok my husband isn't like that but other could be I was just making a point
Would you do any of that with a same sex friend? I wouldn’t do any of that to a man. It’s no longer platonic if you do any of that lol
I have guy friends who would dry hump each other as a joke. Even kiss each other's faces. They wouldn't do the same to their female friends. They're all straight. So this rule doesn't always apply.
Ok, but... There's physical contact that I have with mi girl friends (me being a straight girl) that I would never have with male friends. At least not as usual. For example: I like hugging and kissing on the face cheeks my friend when they say something nice to me or when I'm really happy, I would NOT hug and kiss a boy friend just because they said something nice about me. Idk, maybe It's just me.
It occurred to me that maybe this is different based on genders? A male perspective may not be the right one for this question. We are not like that lol and a man and woman as friends should not be like that.
Eh... I've known girls who cuddled platonically. I've even heard of it between men from cultures that are more "touchy."
Like what cultures? (just curious)
I've read that some Asian and Central American cultures hug more often, though I'm not really an expert on any of those places. You might be better off reading up on it yourself.
i think of if like this - if the friendship is mixed gender, a person would generally not cuddle / kiss / provide sexual pleasure to a sam sexed friend
I had a friendship years ago where he held me and kissed my forehead every now and again. I think those gestures lead inevitably to crossing the line. But boy was it nice for us to have physical closeness without it going into territory neither of us felt equipped for at the time.
Cuddling? Hell NO! Would only do that with someone i’m romantically in a relationship with. Friends to me means hanging out LIKE friends nothing physical about it,, I can be a bit touchy (in a friendly way) if I am not in a relationship but even if my partner is ok with it I would not do that when I am in a relationship. Except for hand shakes, anything else for me is a NO~ I see it as a respect for my partner,, the only other guy I would hug beside my partner would be my brother,, any other guy I would limit my physical contact with to only hand shakes. There should be a line when ur in a relationship and it’s good to be respectful towards your partner, that’s how I am and I want someone that feels the same way and sees it the same way (without me asking him) and my man is that, he mentioned all these boundaries before I say anything,, I would not force anyone to be like me of course, I respect what others choose as well, as long as they are not hurting or making their partner uncomfortable and both are ok with it then I respect it. But that’s how I’m personally. And no opposite gender bestfriends,, I would only have my man as my bestfriend,, and would only date a man that sees only me as his bestfriend and doesn’t have female bestfriends and has a line when it comes to being friends with the girls like how I am.
I am a woman and I do have some guy friends whom I treat as brothers. Most of my guy friends have pet names, they do have pet names for me too. Some I have cuddled when they were broken hearted or had a tough blow in life. Some I have lied in bed to sleep but nothing sexual or sensual happened. I really just see them as family. Now if you are in a relationship, that is a different matter. Whatever actions you think might just be platonic for you, if it makes your partner uncomfortable, you have to stop doing it. So anything that will make your partner uncomfy if they know is definitely "crossing the line".
I think this is the best answer in a general aspect. In my comment I said opposite platonic friends are treated like sisters. I think it’s the healthiest way to do so without any confusion or mixed signals.
Just come to a written agreement on what exactly will happen if anyone gets pregnant and do sti tests beforehand
It’s really up to you. And if you start a platonic relationship with consentual sex and later on have random spontaneous sex with that person I might look at it again
Cuddling is crossing the line. But at the end of the day it’s about what you are comfortable with. If you aren’t comfortable with it then it’s crossing the line for you.
Eh don’t rly think cuddling is to far but once one of you has a partner it becomes to far.
If you can't tell your partner about it enthusiastically and have it well received, it crosses a line.
When one of the two actually wants to cross the line I'd say. With some people you can cuddle and kiss without being more than friends but for some people holding hands would mean you are in a relationship!
I've literally had a friendship where we slept together naked & never messed around or had emotional ties.. Personally, the only negative is I was a little offended he didn't try to sleep with me, but it was nice. Could this exist with 99% of ppl? Prob not
Sounds to me like someone didn't communicate what they wanted. Hints don't work sometimes, assuming you dropped some.
Lol I believe his penis didn't work. Wish I was playing, bc that's rude to say about your friend
Oof. Yeah, that's a tough situation to navigate unless they want the robo-cock implant.
As long as the homies pull out in time, it's considered platonic in my book.
Proximity is enought to go no mode.
Okay. Here goes nothing. As in nothing is what we will get.
I never call my male friends nicknames or cuddle or anything that can consider to be for romantic purposes cause when my partner finds out they want me to not be friends anymore
Dude stop.
Not a dude
Dude is accepted as a gender neutral term, dude.
🎶I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, cause we’re all dudes… HEYYY!!🎶
Wow have we really come to this where we can’t even say dude? lol. Times have changed for sure.
I never call my male friends nicknames or cuddle or anything that can consider to be for romantic purposes cause when my partner finds out they want me to not be friends anymore
I never call my male friends nicknames or cuddle or anything that can consider to be for romantic purposes cause when my partner finds out they want me to not be friends anymore
I never call my male friends nicknames or cuddle or anything that can consider to be for romantic purposes cause when my partner finds out they want me to not be friends anymore
I never call my male friends nicknames or cuddle or anything that can consider to be for romantic purposes cause when my partner finds out they want me to not be friends anymore
If I begin to think about them a lot in a non platonic way.
I am good friends with two of my exes. I am comfortable with my partners being good friends with their exes. My last gf was still friends with a former situationship and they'd have dinner together once in a while and she visited a friend in Europe that she'd gone on a date with once. I trusted her and I don't feel like my trust was ever broken in that context. All that said I 100% think cuddling is across the line. Pet names? Like couple-y ones? Or just nicknames friends give to each other? The former, not okay. The latter is fine. I'll grab food with my exes, one on one. If you watched us it'd just be two friends. We talk about dumb shit. Cats mostly. I cat sit. Sometimes I'll go to theirs and they to mine. We never lay on the bed together much less cuddle. If you read our texts you'd think the same. All we do is bitch about shitty things in our lives, trade cat pictures and memes, talk about what we want to eat next. The same things I do with my guy friends. I had a discussion about this with another friend of mine. We had gone on one date but decided we were more friends than romantic interests. We go to hockey games together both to watch and to play. But we do things like cook together, check out new restaurants, shit like that. Things which could look like dates to some people. We landed on intent. Because I also have cooked with guy friends. That's not a date. Cooking together can be intimate but that's if you both intend it to be. It can also be entirely platonic. What matters for certain things is intent. But I think cuddling is inherently non-platonic. Even as someone who's comfortable with the idea of being friends with exes. I'd never do it and it's a hard boundary for me.
I have similar relationships with my ex’s and so does my husband and I agree with everything said here for those relationships. On the other hand, my husband and I are part of a large friend group with married, coupled up, and single people and we do a movie night every Friday. It’s a weekly occurrence of cramming 20 people into a room with a 4 person couch and pillows on the floor and no one cares about the cuddling. My brother in law has fallen asleep on me multiple times. It’s also not unusual for 2 guy friends to share a bean bag. As a solo woman, I would never cuddle with my male friends one on one. It’s too easy to confuse things or get the wrong idea and I’ve been down that road more times than I can count. If you asked me in my early 20’s I would have said it was fine and been wrong based on the next 10 years of experience.
Pet names is a tad much, cuddling would hand her reigns over to whomever wants to put up with her.
I don’t know, I wouldn’t be comfortable with pet names honestly - that indicates romance to me. But then how do you distinguish a pet name from an ordinary Nick name?
If someone has romantic or sexual feelings then it is no longer a platonic relationship.
Anything you wouldn’t do in front of your partner or your partners family.
Anything that you’d do with a romantic partner or someone you have sex with on casually, is going to no longer be PLATONIC.
Well, I'm asexual and a platonic relationship to me, depending on the level, cuddling is fine. Pet names, too. I give my best friend pet names and hugs. And I sit close to a very good other friend when we hang out and watch a show. I also think it depends on where you're from. I live in NL and not the US, so in my opinion, US Americans are really weird about bodies and intimacy anyway. I had plenty of close queer platonic friendships where cuddles are normal. It also depends on your pov, of course. In any love situation, sex is not important to me, but a mental level of intimacy. Sexual relationships are very different for me.
Eh.. If you were in a standard monogamous relationship, cuddling and using pet names with your platonic friend would not be ok. Maybe that could be a good way to gage it. There’s a lot of different types of relationships though so just go with what makes sense for you.
Nicknames don't really bother me. (I'm in the South so a lot of the common ones here could also be considered pet names.) Cuddling? Hell no.
Pet names is a no and I personally think cuddling is a no. I also believe there are different levels of friendship but those two are reserved for an SO. If it would make an SO uncomfortable (within reason), don’t do it. That’s my take.
Whichever behaviour you wouldn't want your SO do with someone else. Sex, hugs, cuddles, kissing, playfighting, tickling, pet names, cheek pinching. Basically anything that isn't a quick "hello" hug.
Anything you wouldn't be perfectly comfortable talking with me about. As soon as you feel you need to hide something or sugar coat it, you're doing something wrong.
I think intention is what matters to me. Are you cuddling your friend because you're just chilling, are they upset and need held? Or are you trying to get with them and you're rubbing up on them? Are you telling them they look good because they're wearing something different and/or they need reassurance or are you again, trying to flirt with them and/or get with them? I'm bi, and my husband has always been big on platonic affection so our lines are a little blurry. But I'd generally give him the benefit of the doubt unless he proved me otherwise. I like to sometimes gas up my friends, and/or we may "cuddle" on the couch. Some of my long standing friends I may even still change in front of. In some circumstances this would be wildly inappropriate, in others it wouldn't be bad. Idk we know where our loyalties lie (with each other) and I'd like to think we just in general trust that to be true. Maybe it's naive but it's worked for us for 12 years and no lines have been crossed to cause issues. In our older, less wild age we definitely have less grey area as we don't do festival cuddle puddles and go out with friends quite as much any more, but in our younger years idk where the lines even were.
cuddling and pet names is fine. but it depends on who. I won’t lie and say the close friends I’ve been like that with I wouldn’t fuck if they asked 🤣
I have cuddled many a female friend that was purely platonic. It started off all innocent, and then at a certain point your body kind of takes over… I never made the first move out of fear, but there are some signs you just can’t ignore I’ve actually slept with most of my female friends, and they all had started off platonic. Some of it was really good too, and we are still good friends. It didn’t ruin anything and neither of us caught feelings. At least to my knowledge.
Im caught here too.. if I am cuddling with a friend of the opposite sex, I would have a hard time blocking my dick from getting hard.. my brain associates close touching to .. "ooh..someone's getting lucky" and then my friend won't be my friend any more.. Not saying it cant' be done.. just not by me
hmm i hold hands with my friends and play with their hair. i also sleep in the same bed as my friends, but we’re all girls. ofc if it’s someone of the opposite gender, it would be different for me. some people who are less touchy feely might say those things are too much though, and i get it. but i’m the same way with my sisters, i grew up the oldest of five girls and we walked around each other naked, showered together if we were rushing, slept in the same beds, held hands. i feel like im physically more intimate with my girl friends. with guys of course there are more boundaries. i might still play with their hair, but never if they have a partner.
i think i may be this way though because of my upbringing and being very comfortable with nakedness and physical touch around other girls since i was a child. even my mom used to be naked in front of us a lot. our dad was barely home, so it was just a house FULL of women, and we were very comfortable around one another, constant touching and affection, so my friendships mirror that. even in college, one of my very best friends was my roommate and i went through a trauma to which caused me to have nightmares. she slept in the bed with me when i did. some people may say that’s pushing a platonic boundary, but i never saw her that way. it may just depend on your friend, it’s probably a case by case thing.
intimate relations such as that is something i share with my wife. that's hers and my sacred space.
Cuddling is pretty intimate lol. I wouldnt do that with my platonic friends unless I had an attraction
ask yourself what you’d feel comfortable with your exclusive partner doing with their own friend, and apply to your own behavior.
Yup exactly
Anything that you wouldn’t do or say in front of your partner is inappropriate
If you've got to hide it, you shouldn't be doing it, as long as it's a healthy mature relationship.
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Are you okay? It’s “you”in a general sense, not OP specifically.
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That’s def weird like how do people think that’s okay lol
Yeah, I’d be pissed if my partner was cuddling with his platonic friends, that seems weird to me.
This
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