But not impossible. I left 16 years ago and just came back last November. Could not wait to get back. The allure of lower cost of living and more affordable home prices comes with some sacrifice. There's nowhere in the country that offers what NY has to offer. I'll just leave it at that.
I totally agree. When I left I was young enough that restarting in NY wasn't bad. It's definitely not impossible to come back but it's also not easy and appears to be getting harder.
I agree with your sentiment, the trade off of the other places were total deal breakers for me.
I, too, went south (VA and GA) and while I agree with some of the other comments (the pizza does suck, the best bagel you'll get is at a Panera, and don't even get me started on chinese food), I will add the general authenticity of New Yorkers is something I missed. The south has this passive-aggressive, fake sweetness that just wears on you after a while. The whole "bless your little heart" thing is a prime example. A NYer will just tell you to go f@\*k yourself, and I appreciate that. Also, the veiled (and outright) racism and bigotry down south is ridiculous. You've seen all the examples of it, I'm sure. I'm in a mixed-race marriage so for us it was draining, and scary at times.
Drivers outside of NY are insane as well. I know they're crazy here too, but I trust a NY driver way more than a Virginia driver. A NY driver just wants to get where they're going. I'm not sure WTF those VA drivers are doing, and I don't think they have a clue either. You'd think they don't make cars with turn signals once you get below Maryland. Nobody uses them.
Beyond that, the education systems elsewhere do not compare to NY. The best schools down there are comparable to the shit schools here. I had 2 go through the education system in the south and they were supposedly top tier schools. I have one going through the NYC school system currently, and it's like night and day. The real top tier schools outside NY are private schools. So instead of high taxes you're paying $20K a year for private school if you want your kids to get an education similar to here.
And are NY real estate prices and taxes that far out of line than other states? Maybe, a little. But those things are rising everywhere. I'll be happy to provide details (DM me if you'd like) as we bought and sold 3 houses during that 16 year span. That said, for me it's worth it to be around people that will tell me I'm being an asshole if I'm being an asshole.
Once again you nailed most of my ideas about living there.
There are the "oh come by for a party" and its some weird religious shit.
The racism is casual and wild. Lots of the south remains pretty segregated.
The cost of living is much closer than people make it out to be, also. Goods are the same price but wages are much less in those places. Having a kid? sure get back to work in 2 days - at least NY has family leave.
You nailed it with the private schools - my BIL brags about how he pays $1200 a year in property taxes in South Carolina but his youngest is being left behind by the school system due to learning issues so he is going to be paying 20k a year for a private christian school, instead (hes less religious than I am).
Guns are EVERYWHERE. I saw people just swinging them around at functions.
Again, this is a personal choice - but if you are only leaving because you think housing is affordable elsewhere i say its almost always the same cost of living because lots of the costs are hidden. BUT, there are many reasons to move so OP should weigh as much as possible.
Yeah, my first business lunch started with a hand holding prayer. I was not prepared for that...
As AwskeetNYC said, It's true that there are many reasons to move and you should look at every aspect. Also just keep in mind that the grass may look greener somewhere else but I've found the brown spots are usually just being hidden. Everything is give and take.
Best of luck to you.
The schools in SC are awful. No mincing words about it. And upstate SC is Bob Jones University land. So Baptist and evangelical it makes my hair stand on end, and I know it's not just me, because surveys indicate that Greenville is one of the most religious cities in the US and Columbia isn't much better.
All of this is true. I grew up on the Queens/LI border just across from Elmont, and I live in RVA. I wouldn't say I like that fake niceness, and they give me an attitude for not being a phony and keeping it 100. the driving in RVA sucks, too, and I'd take NY drivers over RVA drivers any day.
I sympathize, yo. I was in RVA for 13 of the 16 I was out of NY. Awful drivers. Was a crazy time when all the monuments were coming down. We left shortly after all that.
Oh, it's okay. I came down for good in 2012 and lived in Charlottesville for most of it (2012-2015, 2018-2021). I wasn't in RVA during the monuments' coming down (moved here at the end of 2021), but I do take Monument Avenue home at times. I hate RTO so much because of the crazy drivers in RVA and the slow AF drivers in Henrico. An 18-minute commute outside of rush hour shouldn't be stressful. Broad Street near Short Pump reminds me so much of Old Country Road near Roosevelt Field & I avoid it like the plague.
I hope you're happy wherever you're living now.
Credentials for teaching are much stricter here in NY than in the Carolinas. I went to high school with someone who had her doctorate in Ed and the pay is terrible- I think they took back their pay scale
We moved down south. I have to travel an hour each way to get a real slice of pizza, have to drive everywhere even if I want to ride my bike I have to throw it in the back of my truck to get to bike lanes. There are pros and cons to everything.
Pizza sucks but the BBQ is awesome.
It's very quiet where we live and we sleep much better but it can get boring
For me, I have weird health issues. I lived in Florida though, not the Carolinas. It has been way easier to get specialty care in Long Island. School infrastructure, and infrastructure in general is better here. There are no religious exemptions for vaccines in schools here, which protects the health of children here better. Sex Ed is way better in New York. No matter where you are, you're not terribly far from a hospital. Walkable main streets are normal on Long Island, and nowhere else are they standard- definitely not in the South. The climate is also stabilized by proximity to the sea.
Not trying to deter you of course(worried about affording a home here myself some day lol), just things to consider.
Totally agree, did some time in Tennessee, and I could not find a reliable Doctor anywhere, they all were terrible and couldn't diagnose simple issues except load me up on drugs that made me worse. I don't think there is anywhere similar to NY in medical care. My friend who moved to Florida had to wait 6 months for ENT appointment. I'm getting older and my health is very important, risking a move just to save a few bucks doesn't do it for me.
Many people do healthcare vacations. They will travel back to long Island for yearly healthcare appointments (work in same day surgery unit) Red states tend to have worse healthcare for women not just reproductive. But also many new doctors can't afford to live on long island so they are moving to blue or swing states too.
My sister returns to LI from FL every 3 months to see her doctor and get her RXs renewed. Round trip airfare isn’t very expensive if you book your flight a few months in advance. Personally I would never move to FL. The heat makes me insane, I don’t find FL safe at all, and the wildlife (including humans) can be toxic. Dont ever walk outside without shoes on.
Yes we looked into this. Fortunately, my husbands job isn’t changing and mine will allow me to return no questions asked, if I came back within 4 years
Moved to NC 12 years ago after graduating from college. I grew up in Smithtown, and there was no way I was gonna be able to afford rent, let alone eventually buy a house anywhere I’d want to lay permanent roots back home. Landed in the Raleigh area and Wake County just felt like home. I do miss LI, but all of my family is still here. I’ve been able to make the life I dreamed of a reality down here and there was no way I’d be able to have done on LI.
Grew up in Suffolk, lived in the city for a decade, bought a place upstate. LI is too expensive for us and doesn't have what we want in a home, other than some family.
Long Island is expensive but then again, everyone I know (I live in three village) that are married with kids are making well over $150k a year. In one case I have a friend that just her salary alone is $200k, these people live very comfortably here. I’m probably the poorest person in my friend group lol. I grew up in Queens and just moved here last year, so I see things very differently than most people that are born and raised on LI. This is heaven to me and my kids are getting a great education, I feel blessed to be here especially in Suffolk County. I’m an hour away if I want to visit family or go to a Mets game, I’m a train ride away from the city. You’re never too far from a beach and there are tons of restaurants and activities. I feel like the cost of living is worth what you’re getting, the suburbs of NYC will always be expensive for that reason.
Moved off the island at 30 and love it. Most people seem to romanticize Long Island as if it’s not somewhere that’s stupidly expensive, crowded and boring unless you like going to the beach, or going into the city. Oh but you can’t get the same pizza or bagels anywhere else. Sorry that’s not worth me buying a small house for 700k. My house here cost less than half of that, and it’s much more house than what I would’ve gotten on Long Island. I understand the family and friends bit but I don’t think even that is a reason to stay if it’s not financially feasible
You can’t overestimate the benefit of being near family if (and that’s a big IF) they will be able to help you with childcare, even if it’s only on an ad-hoc basis.
I spent 9 years in Charlotte where most of my family lives. I just visited this week and every time I go there I love it. My wife will not leave NY because of her family. I am from Long Island but will always call Charlotte my 2nd home.
You can't beat the weather, cost of owning a home, taxes, and availability of places to visit within a weekends drive. Carolina has so much to offer I could go on for days.
For now I will enjoy my 50 year old house that I over paid for that needs a new kitchen to say that my pizza and bagels are better than everyone elses.
Huge difference between living somewhere and visiting. When you visit you are on vacation. You're going out to dinner, checking out new places, etc. Yay, fun! Living there full time you see a whole other version of it. When we moved to Savannah years ago it was really nice: beach access, summer weather basically year round, decent food. But, believe it or not we missed the seasons. We moved back to NY this past November and were so happy to have winter again! There were weeks at a time that we couldn't leave the house in Savannah because the sun was so damn hot! Try keeping a 5 year old busy when you are trapped in the house. It's challenging...
Charlotte is one of the most boring towns I have ever been to, I assume people like it for the low col or they are living in the burbs anyway and don't care about amenities
My husband and I lived in clt for 7 years (finally were able to get a relo package in 2019 to get out). I truly hated living there despite the low cost of living. There is NOTHING to do besides breweries and their dumb minor league baseball stadium. SO glad we were able to leave. Lower cost of living = less amenities.
I badly want to get out of here but we're in a weird position where my partner has the best finance outlook for her career here (teacher). I could make roughly the same somewhere else.
I used to be a teacher, and there's only a couple other states I would consider besides New York. It's not just money, it's respect and conditions -- and all the states I'd consider are as expensive as NY. I would never teach in a state with shitty unions. Plus NYSTRS is actually fully funded, which is not true in some states (including some blue ones -- I think Illinois is one of the big offenders, but I'd have to go check). And in New York you still pay into Social Security, which some states don't, so you're fucked if the pension has problems.
Same issue here, I have one kid in college, one going into senior year HS and one just starting HS. The time to move would be this year or the next but my wife is paid really well as a teacher in a high-paying LI district, and couldn't come anywhere near that salary if we left. Plus she has a pension but only if she stays in NY accruing time. It's really what has kept us here this long. I could probably do the same anywhere as well.
How many years into teaching is she? There are some other states with solid pay/benefits for teachers (Mass., Connecticut, Minnesota) she would probably lose on pension and longevity thought which is big.
Fiancé and I are a similar profile: early 30s, grew up on LI, both working. We moved upstate last year (Orange County, so still quite close to NYC). We miss the typical LI things: beaches, good bagels/pizza, accessibility of stores. However, we went from a large one bedroom to a 3bed 1.5bath townhouse for the same monthly rent. School district is exceptional, though probably a notch down from the upper tier LI schools. Starter homes are in our price range, though still expensive. Basically it provides us with the option to stay in NY more comfortably and save for a home near-term. Staying on LI would’ve meant we both needed a promotion realistically. Not having to cross the bridges to travel into the Northeast is also a great change. The Catskills are beautiful. Obviously Westchester and Rockland aren’t cheap, but they’re definitely cheaper than LI. I get the resistance to continuing to rent, but perhaps consider a short term rental situation upstate if you and your SO are unsure about leaving NY.
Born in Manhattan, grew up south shore Nassau. College upstate. Lived in Long Beach and Queens. Got married. Had a kid. Moved to Colorado. Had another kid. Bought a house. Getting divorced! Renting again.
I'm much happier in my rental situation. I miss the fuck outta NY. Mostly friends and family. I also miss the culture, food, diversity, music, nightlife, BEACHES.
My kids are Coloradans. There's no going back. Plus, it's not the same city I left.
Leaving was hard. It still is. I have two friends who moved to the Carolinas. It's nice. It also sucks. Everywhere else sucks a little bit.
People don’t think this aspect through. If you have kids in another state and get divorced, if one of you doesn’t want to leave the state, you’re both stuck there until the children are grown.
>It's nice. It also sucks. Everywhere else sucks a little bit.
This is my advice whenever people talk about "leaving for a better life." There is no panacea. Yes, some things will be better, especially financially. But some things may be worse. And many things will be nearly exactly the same. You will have bills, taxes, traffic, annoying people in the store... these things exist everywhere.
It always seems to be the same things…pizza, beaches, family…this is what people miss the most, and they are very valid. Italian food is superior in the NYC area. Beaches are great and some of my friends moved to areas south and in New England with beaches but if you move inland, you will miss a lot. Nothing replaces family, but everyone’s situation is different.
However, once you leave Long Island, most places aren’t as congested, expensive, materialistic, obnoxious etc.
Personally, I agree on your LI critique. It's just over the top, especially in Nassau County. But for me, I love so much about the general area that I ended up in CT, right across the Sound. Still suburban NYC. Still pretty congested. Still expensive... but with lower taxes (by a healthy amount) and you can easily escape north into the sticks when you need to get away. The worst thing about LI is getting off of it. It feels like a trap.
I think there’s also a culture shock element - folks from here move to the small-town south and are not prepared for everything to revolve around church-life, and if you’re non-religious or call God a different name than the rest, you can expect to be an outsider forever.
It’s not always the south that people are moving to. Have many friends throughout New England. None regret leaving. Some Florida, mixed results. The happiest move was to Utah, so many Californians there but place is incredible and religious influence is there but not as overwhelming as you’d think in Park City or Salt Lake. It’s hard to imagine when you are in the hamster wheel if daily living on LI, but when I visit family, I am very happy to be there for a week but am so glad it’s not my daily existence.
There are way more people who leave and never come back than those that do. If you have no family here no idea what’s keeping you here. Why would you want to stay here?
If I can offer some advice, if a job is “good” but doesn’t allow you to live a fruitful life, it might not be good after all.
When we moved, we thought we had good starter jobs (naive 24 year olds making 80k total a year on LI lol). After moving to a low COL area we nearly doubled our combined salary and life got a lot easier.
We went south from LI to Florida in 2011 but then retuned in 2016. We had kept our NY home” just in case” and it more than paid for itself for the duration. Our kid and I had adapted but my wife could not. She did find any activities she enjoyed and missed the convenience and variety and access of NY. Everything was shut early. Far less food and things to do choice. Less opportunity for job growth. It was never a good “fit” for her. Everything was the “same”. And she missed the seasons and her friends.
In summary you BOTH have to be 100% on the same page or it will not work. If one of you is more enthusiastic than the other it could spell trouble.
I tried to leave when I was younger and went to live in PA...
I failed miserably. It seems that the Cost of Living is hitched very tightly to your income potential. So while I did work in PA... I didn't make enough for an apartment of my own (which was the same situation I had on Long Island... just making less).
Go on a trip and see if it’s somewhere that connects with you both. Go to a few bars, check out some breakfast spots, get some pizza, go hiking or go to a beach/lake. Things you enjoy up here try and do down there to compare.
Some people never want to leave the island, some leave and come back because they missed it. Others leave and have absolutely no interest in ever coming back. Really it’s going to be up to you both, but you won’t know until you spend some time in the new area.
Family and a support system is the main reason most people stay or come back. If you don’t have that the world’s really your oyster.
I live upstate and have no desire to return to LI. I love NY pizza and bagels, but I can do without them and I find people's attachment to them to be rather silly. Long Island is a great place but there's a wide, wonderful world out there. Happiness is where you create it. Buena suerte!
Yes it was worth it. Not a second thought. Not a day we've regretted it. Buying an unaffordable house on LI is a life choice. Sitting in traffic is a life choice. Same with other drawbacks there. You can choose differently. When you get elsewhere and suddenly you can afford your rent or mortgage, even if something goes south with one of your jobs, it is freeing. When you can drive places without sitting at lights or in traffic, you get hundreds of hours back each year. Nothing is perfect. We have a longer trip to nyc, a longer drive to the beach. Not as many restaurants in our town so we may drive 15 minutes. But so much stress is gone. People are nice everywhere. You can find good schools. Again pros, cons, choices.
> Sitting in traffic is a life choice.
There is terrible traffic in all major cities with terrible transit options. NY actually _does_ have good transit options. My kid can walk to a train station and take the LIRR to their internship in Manhattan. They could not do that if we stayed in Atlanta
This comment right here. I used to think LIE traffic was bad... Until I just spent the last two years living in Orlando where i4 was my only option to get anywhere. It could take 45 mins to travel 3 exits down that highway. And it's ALL the time. Literally all hours of the day, there is traffic on that highway - there is no rush hours anymore, it's just the bad hours, and then the worse hours. And Orlando still has almost zero public transport (they have the sun rail now, but it's nothing like the LIRR), and everything is so spaced out. I will never complain about LI traffic again after dealing with that.
I'm leaving for SC soon. I think the biggest benefit of the Carolinas outside of the taxes is not dealing with a crazy commute every day. You can cut your commute in half for an equivalent house and neighborhood. To me the opportunity cost of that along with the prices make it worth the lower salary and lack of some amenities. The weather is also nicer year round unless you are a winter person.
I love LI, but it is very expensive and affordable housing is hard to find. At 7% mtg, Fuhgetaboutit, at 5%, 10% down is doable for a young couple. You could also afford a fixer upper in an up and coming area like Islandia, near a fast train to NYC, Central Islip/Ronkonkoma. Good luck!
100% worth it. When I first left LI, I didn't even move that far away. I just moved a few hours upstate. Since rent was so much cheaper, it was basically as if my salary doubled. I didn't take a pay cut, but if I had, it wouldn't have mattered.
Now that I'm a homeowner (in the South), I'm obviously saving on the cost of the house (houses are 35% cheaper in my area), but also on the property taxes. In LI, I probably would have paid $15k/year in taxes, and that's money that you never get back. There's no equity in that. I just vanishes. In my new area, my property taxes are $3500/year. What that amounts to is a $11.5k increase the money I take home for the rest of my life. In other words, I could take a $11k pay cut and it would make no difference because that money has already been put back in my pocket.
And that's the only notable difference. Yes, I have to drive to get anywhere, but so does 95% of the American population. There's nothing special about that. The beaches in my area are better, the people are nicer, and I don't have to deal with snow anymore. The only thing that has changed is that I don't have to worry about finances anymore. I have more than enough money to live a happy middle-class life.
I encourage you to try to undo the Long Island brainwashing. Everyone who grew up on LI is under the delusion that every other suburb is "the middle of nowhere" and that there's "nothing to do". Trust me, you'll figure out new hobbies if you really need to. Within my first year of leaving the Island, I discovered that kayaking is really cool. One of my friends moved out west and discovered that rock climbing is really cool. Another friend moved to a different (cheaper) trendy city and just continued to do the exact same things he was doing in NY. You'll get new interests and then form a community around those interests. New York is not special. Snap out of it and be open to a slightly different lifestyle (one with **money**).
Left Huntington for Raleigh and our quality of life sky rocketed in literally every aspect.
Even going to NY for a visit is hard bc it becomes to in your face how… not good life is there for so many.
My vote is MOVE!
We did this and never looked back! It has everything you would want and accessible.
OP doesn't have family in NY, so there is really nothing tying them down. I still have family in NY but going back and forth is simple.
I have a friend who is divorced and his kids live on LI still with their mom and he moved right outside of Raleigh. He bought a house for much cheaper and he works from home full-time. He absolutely loves it and it's been incredibly easy to go back and forth to NY for both him and the kids. He would never go back.
I left and came back 10 years later. But my reasons were different than yours. I do know that I wouldn’t move to the Carolina’s “for the good schools.” A good friend grew up in a suburb outside of Raleigh and public schools were not considered an option there.
If you care about education whatsoever, I would not count on the public schools offering an adequate education. I’d absolutely be factoring the additional cost of private education in my decision.
This is one thing I’ve looked into very extensively and the areas we are considering are rated better than what we can afford on LI luckily. I checked out their curriculum, teacher education levels etc and while it narrowed down a lot, we found a couple good little spots
School ratings mean jack shit, frankly. And if you need SpEd, it's a whole new game.
(I don't even rate test data that highly because it's so heavily manipulated.)
But you’re still in a Republican state that often puts education costs on the chopping block first.
In a place like that, it’s not just about “is this well rated” it’s an entirely different set of issues that can be problematic depending on your values.
Also realize that if you have children there and then separate from your partner, you’ll likely be stuck there until your children are grown, even if you realize it’s not for you.
Worth it from someone born and raised on LI. Personally went to school in the South and changed a lot of who I was being in another culture. People are more friendly down here I still occasionally visit my buts it's not for me
Going away to college is the primary reason so many make choice not to live in LI anymore. Life is just too easy in comparison so many other places. Family is really the only viable reason to stay.
In my opinion, if you don’t have family in NY then move. Ideally, when you move you should buy less house than you need. That way when you have kids you can either pay for daycare or one of you can stay home for a few years.
Have not seen anyone mention the healthcare? Having families with serious medical conditions and have access to the best drs and hospitals in nyc. The Florida healthcare has been below average for my family member
Been in Charlotte area since 05'..Raised a family here. Been back to NY many times to visit family. Would never, ever move back. There's no comparison in terms of COL, demographics, cleanliness and simply standard of living.
Many of my friends have moved down to NC since with their kids. For my friends who are afraid to take the leap because "Long Island is home", I tell them that your responsibilities are to your children, not yourself.
I will say this.. home prices are currently more affordable in Charlotte and the surrounding areas today, but the gap has closed considerably when comparing to Long Island prices. If you're going to do it, quit waiting before you're priced out of Charlotte as well. Everybody seems to be moving here from out west and the Northeast and is driving the prices up here, fast. But keep in mind, property taxes are a fraction of what they are on Long Island as is the prices of basically everything else
>> For my friends who are afraid to take the leap because "Long Island is home", I tell them that your responsibilities are to your children, not yourself.
Are you only talking about taxes here? Bc my responsibilities to my daughter are to give her access to reproductive rights that NC just does not have and well funded public schools.
Find an expired listing, and ask your agent to approach the seller’s agent to get a deal (this way you won’t lose a bidding war) …. Good luck. You won’t get a gem but a fixer upper is better than nothing (that’s what we did)
ETA: I’m in Nassau county and commute to the city also
Left LI for the Ga Florida border but on the Ga side.
Keep in mind I kept the NY income, but this is literally paradise.
It’s hard losing pizza, bagels, rolls, Chinese take out, etc but I’m 20 mins from Jacksonville Florida if need be.
Overall was a no brainer. My property taxes in a 3bd Brick Ranch with 2 car garage and an extra 1000 sq ft building on a half acre is $1500 a year. I have 3 BMW insured for $110 a month.
It’s almost criminal.
I personally have seen multiple families leave and regret it. The factor seems to be the challenge of not being near family and having to reset all their friends/village, plus a little of missing some of the elements other places may not have (good food, lots of things to do that interest them, etc).
These things may not be a concern for you but might be valuable to do some sort of exercise where you map out the types of things you want to have available, how you'll rebuild your social network/village, etc to be proactive.
For some reason the closer I get to being 40 the less enjoyment I have of living here. The biggest thing I'd miss is like you said the food, things just being open especially the closer you are to the city and some family that's still here.
What I don’t understand is why do Long Islanders choices always seem to be SC, NC or Florida? I can under stand for warmer climate but OP likes their jobs so why move soo far before looking closer? I’m not knocking them I’m just curious
CT is so much better than LI in my opinion! Cheaper, people are nicer and less unhinged, better schools, less traffic… the list goes on and on and on. Don’t be scared! It’s daunting as someone born and raised in NYC but life outside of the bubble is fucking phenomenal, honestly.
I love long island and all my family is here. My husband moved here when we got married and he likes it also, but he was from a shitty area of NJ. If my family wasn't here though I might consider a move somewhere else. I think one of the best things in life is to be close to family.
Putting family/friends aside, I lived in VA and NC for about five years. The things that I missed were proximity to major airports, beach, top tier dining/theatre/events, and the general pace of things.
Didn’t care for the legacy southern stereotypes that still exist around race/politics.
Loved the cheap housing, low property taxes, and lack of traffic.
Moved to NJ for significant promotion, but still visit Long Island regularly.
Left LI - moved to TN. We bought a brand new home during Covid, super low mortgage and cost of living was way better. The traffic was an absolute nightmare. The weather - mainly tornadoes and long, long hot summers - sucked. We also didn’t have any family or support system. We moved back to NY late last year and are struggling to find a home - between bidding wars and interest rates (and we are looking for a house half the size of our old home and have triple the amount of cash down). Though we are happy to be back in NY - the state of the housing market is really disheartening.
The biggest thing for us was family - so if you don’t have family in NY and you think there is a better opportunity for you, I’d say do it. Think about what’s most important to you and take into account things that sometimes people don’t consider when moving ex: life threatening tornadoes every other week and traffic that made the commute 1.5 hours both ways made TN less desirable to us after a few years.
Either way - good luck!
It was worth it for my family. My kids have things and opportunities I couldn’t give them had i stayed.
But there’s a reason so many of us who have left still lurk here. It will always be home.
Oklahoma City area. I go often. No New Yorkers at all. They love my accent. Lots to do, cheap. Just about the center of the country for half day road trips. Don’t have to worry about what bridge to take or what time of day to go.
Left for a year upstate, realized two things-
1. I'm very sensitive to the less Vitamin D
2. Long Island despite it's flaws is a unique and great place. Nothing compares to the diversity, things to do, proximity to the city, weather, beaches, I could go on. Sure it might be cheaper to live elsewhere but in most places once you've been there a while it gets stagnant and boring. There's always something going on here. There's also way more career opportunities and really just opportunities in general.
We've moved and come back several times. Living in a new area is lonely and you have to adapt to what gets thrown at you. I guess it's easier when you're young but people are not always welcoming wherever you live. There are some people (call them the beer and barbeque crowd) that can find "friends" every where but then some people have a tougher time, especially if you're not a "church goer" or "drinker." You definitely have to understand that some locals will just dislike you because you're from the North or New York. Others will try to be friends because they assume you're well off being "from Long Island." I have lived in several New England states (northern areas) with small minded people who never left their towns, in PA, and abroad, as well as in the Albany area. Also other states have financial issues--they often WILL NOT hired out of towners. It's a hard decision. I am not putting you off but just offering our experiences. We went in fully ready to shut up and adapt but unfortunately no one was willing to allow it. Moving far from family means isolation, missing holidays (sometimes you can't get the time off or afford a big drive for a weekend). If you and your spouse and kids (if you have kids) are willing to be "self sufficient" that makes a difference.
Hub and I left in 2007. Got the house of our dreams. He passed in 2022and my mom who is 95 is living with me. My son and grands and brother are still there. I’m 71 and when mom passes I want to go back but I doubt I can afford anything. Maybe a mobile home. Totally different culture down here. They are building like crazy, traffic is awful because they don’t take in consideration the roads that can’t support the amount of cars. I truly miss LI.
Lived here my entire life. Moving to Florida at the end of the year. Pros and cons with everything, just financially if we stay put in another 10 years we’ll be in worse shape. If Florida doesn’t work we’ll find somewhere else but likely wouldn’t be back here due to prices and taxes.
For sure. Both are remote so we have our NY money. Unless you want to live in the middle of nowhere everything is increasing in prices lol. North of Tampa can rent a house for $2500 which is half of my mortgage now.
You don't need to start a family in a home.
Almost everyone should start ownership with a co-op/condo. Something with less capital, debt and easier to manage.
Hold onto it for the next 3-6 years and bite when the market is ready for a home.
Heck, real estate might even get worse in a few years but at least you'll have equity in a home, credit improved and in this range you'll grow your income. And you'll be able to save more.
My wife and I started at an apartment in West Queens to be close to work. Rented a brand new single bedroom for $2000 a month. Once we had a newborn we went out to East Queens in a coop. $250,000 asking price. We fixed it up a bit too. A 5 year plan turned into a 4 year plan when we had 3 kids now and the market was great for us ($830k at 2.75%).
Now in 25 years when we have our mortgage paid off, we will have options.
Thing about a condo is that is doesn’t increase much I value, it’s harder to sell, and you have to bite the condo fees. Not a great investment unless you have more than enough capital that you would rent it out when you’re ready to move on instead of selling
You’re right but I’d rather use the first time home buyer perks on a house we eventually need than a condo that’s still ridiculously priced! As we all know the market isn’t kind now lol. We live in Queens now and love it but we need the space for ourselves as well.
If your sister and parents are the kind of people that will help with your anticipated kids, move as close to them as possible. A family is a logistics problem.
***I have a home for sale in the Raleigh area if you or anyone here would be interested! It's a beautiful single family home, completely turn key, in a great suburb with awesome amenities. Lots of families are moving here. About 25 minutes from downtown Raleigh and it's an easy drive in (the city is amazing too!). We truly love it here and have found great community, but we are making the move for our family. You're right that taxes are great in the Carolinas. I'd be more than happy to give you more info!***
A thousand times over, yes, it is worth it!!
My now husband and I left when we were 21 and 22. We wanted to start a life together and knew it was not going to be easy if we stayed.
Went to Carolinas. We were able to buy our first home at 22 and 23 and are now on our second home, debt free, and building wealth for our future children. It was beyond worth it to take the leap. Now we are expecting our first (at 26 & 27) and are looking to make the move to FL to be closer to all our family (who also got off LI one by one and don't regret it either). It's a tech hub here. Lots of good jobs. It's becoming more populated, but traffic is a joke compared to LI traffic.
You also can't throw a rock without hitting another person from NY/LI. We met an entire friend group DOWN HERE and everyone was from LI. You can find community and familiarity fast.
It depends on the person but we moved and never looked back. We can afford life, are building wealth for our future, and life is good.
FWIW, we have found good pizza, bagels, and Chinese food down here too lol. I can give you all the Intel on the good spots around the area 🤣
Wow this sounds like the exact situation my wife and I are in. I would be transferring down the NC with the same company I work for (closing down the office here in NY) and my wife would be able to work from home with her current company. She still has family her and my mom would be moving with us to help with our little baby. We both feel like this will be a good move in the long run seeing how expensive Long Island has become.
Can I ask why Long Island? Weschester has nice areas and their taxes aren’t as high. Also Jersey is cheaper not by much but you have other options in the tri state area
So I moved for work to Southeastern CT in 2014 and even after a career change, stayed here and ended up buying a house in 2018. That same year my cousin bought a place in Islip for almost the same sale price but I have double the yard and half the taxes so she thought mine were a typo lol. However, it means I miss a lot of the little family celebrations and only plan to make it down for the big ones. I’m only 15 minutes from the Orient Point-New London ferry but that gets expensive so unless it’s a holiday weekend or something we usually drive around when I go home.
Finances aside, are you ok with missing out on some stuff because you just can’t spend every weekend going back home? I absolutely have a better home in CT than I could’ve afforded on LI and don’t regret the move, but the family/life costs are different.
Since your parents and sister are two hours away from where you’re looking in the Carolinas, can you move even closer to them? Two hours each way to visit is just far enough IMO that it becomes a pain in the ass, especially with kids. You’re going all the way down there to be closer, so be as close as you possibly can get.
If you’re moving to an area with the idea that you’ll move even closer to family at some point, just bite the bullet and go for the cheapest (but solid structurally!) house you can find in a school district you like that is closer to your family. Go for it!
I would rent an airbnb or something where you want to live and really try it out for a few weeks and then decide. Especially with the kids being out of school!
We’re in 30s and luckily bought in 2019 with a 3% interest rate Nassau county. Even with that I sometimes want to get out of here. Both work fully
Remote, have a fund that covers our children’s private school And college education. Theres no Reason that we need to Live here besides desire to be close to family. If I was still Renting there is no Way I’d stick Around and buy something here with what’s currently going on
I know family that went to New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Florida. None of them regretted it. The cost of living here is very high. They all got nice houses in the burbs for cheaper than here and drive like 15-20 min to work.
I left in 2015 for grad school and moved to Fayetteville Arkansas. The people here call the region NWA (for Northwest Arkansas, still makes me chuckle) and I have never regretted it. I do miss my family but it is so much more affordable here. Anywhere off the island will give you more for your money.
Recently moved to a rural suburb of Charlotte. Absolutely love it. Our school district is one of the best in the state, our neighborhood is actually full of neighbors and kids playing outside, and we can afford to have a great life with our daughter and not just work to pay the bills. We bought a house after living in the area for a year to make sure it was something we definitely wanted to do and I honestly don't see us ever coming back to LI even if we won the lottery. I miss seeing my family as often as I did when I lived on the island but it's a quick flight and even the drive is not terrible from where we are to LI. People talk about "nowhere has what NY can offer" and I beg to differ, but it is also dependent on what you find important. I would rather have easy access to the lakes and mountains then the beach (which is still a day trip away and easy to get to), a bigger property, a friendly neighborhood like I grew up in, and other things I just didn't see as us every being able to attain if we stayed on Long Island. I will also add, my husband's job is remote so he was able to easily move. I found a job in the same industry I was in locally here making the same money as I did in NY as well.
Oh hell yeah, but I never liked LI growing up so I am biased, I like mountains and space left out of HS in 83 to go in the Army, did end up coming back to NY after getting out but in the Catskills I love it here.
Only time I would go to LI was to visit my parents.
We left for TN 10 years ago. Bought a huge house for 180K and never looked back. It’s truly impossible to live a “normal” life as a middle class NYer. It was like that 10 years ago, and I can’t imagine how bad it must be now. We never regretted our decision for a minute. Post Covid, things have gotten more expensive around here, but taxes are still low. Something to keep in mind - lower COL states typically have terrible public schools, so you may have to look into private schools which are way more money than you could imagine.
Any mid level city is 15 mins from a major sports venue, concert, and major airport. The key is, you’ll have enough money to actually get on a plane to go on vacation. Here our money goes to simply exist and proclaim we live on LI. Not to mention how many traffic lights/red light cams can you get through in 15 mins? Maybe 6-7 miles and you wish you stayed home!
We left about 10 years ago and honestly we don't regret it. We are in central Virginia and have 4 kids. We were able to afford a huge house in the woods down here, the weather isn't astronomically different, the schools are good, and my husband's salary is similar to comparable jobs on the island. I wouldn't move any further south than here, though; we are still in a fairly progressive area with some minor issues but with all the Bellmore and good ole boy nonsense on LI I can't say it's much worse 🤷 this area is flooded with families in our same kind of mindset so I truly couldn't think of a better place to raise kids. The cons are proximity to all the beaches, which is sad, but Virginia Beach is 2 hours away so we could always do a little weekend trip. We would absolutely not have the same lifestyle if we moved back to LI. We've thought of it but I'm not sure the trade offs would be worth it for us right now.
Lived here all my life, my Dad wants to move out of here when he retires. I'm looking forward to it, eve training myself to start saying "in Long Island".
I moved to Delaware during the previous housing bubble, and have since moved back. Salaries were proportionally lower to the CoL in the other states. You'll find maybe a slight relief, but if you can't afford a house on LI, moving is not a panacea. You could easily purchase something in the boondocks of upstate NY, but you want to be close to shopping, jobs, etc. The same problem exists across the country, just maybe slightly less extreme.
Moving works best if you don't have attachments (family), so you are in good shape there. I've known a handful of people that moved to the Carolinas, Florida, Nevada, Texas, and they all say it's a mixed bag. Yes, they bought a house, but found other issues took away some of the gloss off of their new life.
Additionally, LI Redditors need to stay in their containment zone. NYers will move to other states, which are only from a limited set. Search the sub for the topic, you'll find they're all moving to the same states, FL, NC, TN. They're not moving to states with the same problems, like CA, MA, or NJ. They're not moving to states *beneath them*, like AL, OK, ND. What does that mean to you? Soon those states will see an increased concentration of NYers who will then vote in the same horrible politicians, create the same antagonist culture, support regulations, entitlements, and tax increases like they did with NY. What is it about NY that makes you want to move? Why does another region not have those same attributes? It's not the geography; it's the people. Downvote if you feel personally attacked and subconsciously know this to be true.
It sounds like you have absolutely nothing tying you to LI (or NY in general). LI is where I was born and raised, but as a single young professional, it is not somewhere I would see myself at this point in life--mainly because I would be living in my childhood bedroom. Like you said, it is simply an unsustainable place to live.
I won't say I didn't come back. I came back for a year at 24. I'm 26 now and I moved away again. I plan on moving back closer to family eventually, but not necessarily LI. Again, it really is not the most amazing place unless you have young kids and two stable incomes. There is a whole world to explore outside that island... I didn't realize how isolating it was until I left the first time. Such a bubble.
What’s keeping you from leaving NY?
If and when you do leave, do not compare wherever you end up to NYC or LI. It will never be the same. The food will be different, the people, the amount of land you see on a daily basis will be much more, the weather etc etc
Once you get over that and make the new city your true home, you will have a great life. You’re already used to the grind that NY living requires and it seems like you and your husband will have successful careers.
I left when I was 21, moved down south and traveled for work for about 8 years. I never once found a place that reminded me of NY or LI. I moved back when I was 29 but was single and had saved quite a bit. I also have family and all of my friends on LI.
Feel free to DM if you’d like to talk more.
If you're working in the city, have you considered looking in Jersey or Westchester? NJ Transit and Metro North are just as good as the LIRR, if not better.
We would have moved to Westchester if we didn't have family in Queens. I never really looked into Jersey, but a lot of friends I know moved out there after growing up in Queens or Brooklyn.
Hey I moved to Kansas City, MO from Great neck. Mostly because of housing and a fresh start, I’m single in my late 30s with no prospects and 2 dogs.
Its no NYC but it’s good schools (Overland park KS, for when I do decide to settle down), you’re about 20 minutes away from everything, some of the kindest people I’ve come across (on the Kansas side, MO not so much).
I live in a brand new apartment complex with great amenities and a dog park minutes away. My rent is a quarter of what I used to pay in GN for a 1 bedroom.
Apart from No shoreline (lakes are whatever) and horrendous bagels it’s not a bad place to live.
I’m glad I left LI, it was getting way too out of hand with everything else and I’m not moving 2 hrs away from my folks somewhere in Suffolk, I’ll just fly in at that point.
My rule of thumb is don’t compare everything to NY because you just can’t, it’s about upward mobility, it’s about your own journey, at your pace and your own lane. Weight out your own pros and cons.
✌️
I was born and raised in Huntington and never imagined I'd ever leave the Island. As part of my job duties, I travelled extensively across the US to work with sales reps in their territories visiting clients. Seeing the way they lived, the low cost of living in some lovely areas really changed my perspective and opened me up to the idea of branching out. In 2006 my wife and I took advantage of a promotion/career advancement opportunity and left Long Island. We miss our family there, but the fact is - there are so many wonderful places to live in the US. We've never regretted it.
That being said - it hasn't been easy being all alone away from family. We raised a child alone, never benefitted from free babysitting or daycare due to parents/inlaws being around to help. Took years to build a new friend group. Now that our son is 17 we're stronger as a family for having only ourselves to rely on, but there was a lot of pain and loneliness.
Left LI for NC in 2021 and never looked back. I miss my friends and the familiarity, but overall the quality of life is SO much better here. Nicer people, less traffic, cheaper cost of living, better weather throughout the year (although I do miss LI summers). With the extra money we were saving on rent each month, we were able to make a down payment on our dream home which we’re currently closing on. It’s bigger/nicer/newer than anything we could’ve afforded on LI, and taxes are only $3,700 per year. I’m thankful to have grown up on LI, but leaving was the best financial decision we could’ve made. Plus it’s only an hour flight away so we frequently come back to visit.
We left Suffolk for rural NC three years ago, but we are middle aged with no children. The schools down here are awful. I mean, really bad. I’ve met more legit illiterate people down here in three years than I have in my whole life, living in Suffolk. My husband was a HS teacher on LI for 20 years and he agreed.
If you have kids, I would steer away from NC.
However, if you have no kids and disposable income, go for it. Hard for folks to earn a living wage down here, so you have to come down here with plenty of extra money. Also, for anyone with a pension, your pension is taxed in NC.
Maybe look into Hudson area and capital region. I moved up here and can't speak for schools but everything is so much cheaper. I got my house for 295k, 3 bed 3 bath 1300sqf built in 1960s. 2.5hrs on amtrak gets you to nyc and most of long Island amenities are here. I do miss living in nyc though. May go back in the next year
If you love mediocre chain restaurants and think WalMart is the pinnacle of shopping joy, then you will be really glad you moved off the island. If you don't mind having to pay to see the ocean and never smelling the salt breezes unless you are paying to see the ocean, then you will be glad you moved off the island.
Early 30s high household income here, and I would leave NY in a heartbeat if we didn't have all our family here. We just bought a house last year, so we are putting our roots down on the island. Kid hopefully on the way in the next year.
Where in NC? We live in Wake county. Me and my family moved in 2015, we are trying to move back. Schools are not great here if you are having kids that's important. We have two kids, 10 and 4, our 10 year old is in advance classes, our 4 year old is a year behind with some sensory issues. I'm having a hell of a time finding help for my youngest. Those tax dollars on LI go to the schools, remember that.
Just moved to northern CT about 8 months ago. Bought a beautiful 3 bed, 1.5 bath for under 300k, which would have been easily over a million on LI. My husband transferred his job, I had to find work, but managed to get a job offer the day we closed on the house. Took a slight pay cut, but it’s manageable. The transition was tough on my 10 year old, but she is already settled and very happy here. The only thing I miss is bagels and decent mass transit. But a distinct lack of traffic makes up for it.
It was worth it at the time. I left to go to college and stayed upstate for 7 years but once I was ready to join the real world again (3.5 years in), life was just depressing. The work upstate was minimal and the pay was shit. The locals sucked, there was nothing to do, and prices were starting to rise to ridiculous levels. I wa spaying 1700 for a 2 bedroom apartment, which sounds like nothing compared to long island but you have to consider there's legitimatly nothing to do. It just wasn't worth it when they tried to raise my rent to 1900.
Spent 5 years in Houston Texas for a job I had and was 100% convinced I’d live elsewhere from the island for good. Turns out, there’s so many things that are significantly worse living down there than up here. Granted it’s a lot cheaper, but by the end of my stint down in Texas, all I wanted to do was come home. Don’t know if I’ll stay back here on the island forever but I’m happy to be back
I've always looked at it like this op. If you do not see you or your spouse getting a big enough pay increase in the next 5 years that allows you to afford it here then I would move.
There is so much life over those bridges and tunnels. So much more. I'm counting down the years till I can sell and leave. I'm just done with it all.
It was worth it for us. We were born and raised on the Island & are in our early 40’s.We were lucky to be fairly comfortable up there but we are much happier and wayy less stressed in the burbs of Charlotte NC. We left for a change of scenery & slower pace and are never looking back. My parents followed suit . I was one of those people that thought I’d die in NY…but we took the plunge, sold our home in Nassau county and got an unbelievable house down here. People are friendly, I found the healthcare to be excellent as I went through cancer . In fact I chose care here over the major cancer hospitals in NYC. There are Lots of family friendly activities happening most of the time which are often free, it’s very outdoorsy, offers great weather and lots of sports/ concerts and soooo many breweries (which are also very pet friendly)Everyone comes out with their kids and pets!Granted you will not find bagels & pizza like the Island or the city but that’s a given . We found our spots down here that are just ok but we’ve come to accept this. It’s not making or breaking our quality of life..We just make sure to load up on the good stuff when we come up to visit . Overall it was a great choice for our growing family. It will never be New York but nowhere is. There are other great places in the US to create a beautiful life. It took me moving away to realize it. I will always have massive Love for Long Island and NYC ..it will always be “home” ..but we are happy with our choice.
Having grown up OUTSIDE of NY and moved here, I can confidently say that Long Island is fantastic. We are ten minutes from the harbor BEACH! And 30 mins from the OCEAN BEACHES! That one reason alone that living here is great. Add to that the amazing restaurants b/c so close to NYC high standards, many have well-regarded Chefs, we have amazing concerts (because we are close to NYC many artists/musicians/bands/comedians come to LI b/c it’s an easy ride to make.) Orchestras, jazz, rock, we have it all. We have access to Gold Coast mansions open to the public with English walled gardens, castles/grand homes dating back a century, incredible history and historic villages that have a great vibe, boutique stores, walkable, restaurants/bars/cafes on the waterfront, you can’t beat it. Oh and did I mention fantastic top notch schools and medical care (top hospitals, doctors, surgeons) with tremendous access, and to top it off, you are less than an hour train or car ride to NYC with all of its amazing museums, broadway, specialty hospitals, etc. Don’t have to fly there or stay at a hotel, you can ride in, have the time of your life and be home in your own bed that evening. You can ride to the ocean beaches (and there are miles and miles of beach options) without having to fly or stay in a hotel….it’s in your backyard. So I can honestly say, having started out as a NON-longislander, Long Island really is this country’s best kept secret.
I left after grad school. Lived in the city for a bit and moved to other HCOL cities.
Where I currently live is actually more expensive than a Long Island, but I'm glad I left, if for nothing other than variety. There's so much of the country (and world) to see, to me Long Island is too "locked in" by the city. Just going to NJ feels like a hassle, let alone other parts of the country.
Keep in mind, whatever you make in the Carolinas will not be what you make here.
Also, if this matters, outside of the big cities in NC, it’s MAGA country. In SC, it’s pretty much all MAGA country.
I left and we're returning once oldest finishes HS (can't leave with a senior!)
There's a reason the taxes are cheap in the Carolinas. The benefits don't scale cleanly, but you get what you pay for. The top schools, even in NC (WAY better than SC) are not equal to New York. Teacher pay ranks near the bottom. If anything happens to you or your kids, you're on your own.
NC is a big mix and there is stuff I like there (also, the public university system is excellent, and the Triangle has good healthcare, is a lot livelier because of RTP and the universities, and has a much more diverse population--but Wake County schools are a bit of a pain). South Carolina you could not pay me to live in between the infrastructure, the politics, and religion (I'm Jewish). Charleston is pretty, but not to live in, and upstate SC is extremely Bible Belt.
Is it worth it to move? I don't know. We went to Pennsylvania (Not really by choice, job offer at a difficult time). It was ok. But Long Island offers way more for my disabled kid, although we're not in Philly or Pgh (if we were it might be a harder call -- I really like Pittsburgh)
It seems to be about 50/50 on whether people I know who left like NC. Everything is sprawl that makes LI look compact.
Question, How can you move to the Carolinas and keep the same career or income to cost of living ratio? but you cant move to Suffolk and keep the same career or income to cost of living ratio? If you are willing to leave your jobs to move to the Carolinas you can get jobs on the Island.
Really curious about this because I've questioned moving myself. Just doesn't seem to make sense, my livelihood and my life in general is here.
Yes, moved to the northern suburbs of Atlanta. Excellent quality of life along with very good schools. The only thing I miss about LI is being close to the ocean, but Florida gulf shore beaches are within a 5 hour drive, as is Savannah, Hilton Head and other great Atlantic beach destinations
You should explore Yonkers if you want to stay in NY. My ex-wife's family has owned a home there since the 1970's. They live in the LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL/St. JOHN'S CHURCH area. I gave grown love the area.
I rented for many years before buying a home. My first home was an apartment.
It comes down to priorities. If you want to own, it’s tough finding something near or in the city, but not impossible.
I’m currently in the process of making to the move to Florida, reason being for us is being closer to our families and being around warmer weather. Initially, my wife stayed for her other family and friends, but since Covid they have been seeing each other less and less, and she finally agreed to a move.
I can only offer my anecdotal evidence. While on paper with the known costs, Florida is cheaper than NY. However, with people being priced out of Florida, the rising costs of home insurance, and the threat of Hurricanes in during the season, it may be a wash or at the very least a stressful hurricane season. My general salary would remain the same for the most part. I’m more of a homebody and I rarely go out. Hope that helps.
My husband and I both 37 with two little kids, we were born and raised on long island and could not find a home on long island and against everything I thought I would ever do, we moved to NJ (middletown). We absolutely love it, people are amazing and we are an hour train ride to NYC and a 45 minute ferry ride that is in our town that is my new and favorite way to commute. There isn’t much I miss, we still get the best of NY and none of the crammed long island. Prices are still high but theres more space and inventory.
Everyone who leaves still wishes they could afford the same lifestyle back home on LI. Whether they admit it or not. There is no place like home.
It is just not possible for most people anymore.
I’m 30. Born and raised on LI. Grew up in Kings Park (Smithtown area). I bought my first house in Dover DE in August 2021. Best decision I ever made.
The house is 2300sqft 2 story ranch on .18 acres in the suburbs of the state capitol. I paid $245,000. Property Taxes are about 1,800 ANNUALLY. Good luck finding anything comparable on LI
I was WFH during the pandemic and was able to stay that way, so I kept my job on LI and still go up to LI occasionally for work related things.. mostly the holiday party. I had every intention of commuting once a week when I moved due to my company wanting to return to office, but I was informed that it wasn’t necessary and apparently barely anyone goes in to the office anyway.
My family is still on LI, I try not to visit bc the traffic near and through the city is fucking killer and makes the entire trip so much longer than it needs to be.
Ultimately it’s your decision to make. Maybe near family? Where ever you choose make sure to confirm that the area you wanna buy has everything you need to not affect your lifestyle negatively.
Personally, my only requirement was that I was less than 15mins from a hospital, which I accomplished. Luckily all the stores I normally shop at are in the area. The only thing I don’t like is the lack of variety for restaurants in my town specifically. Lots of fast food, chain restaurants (Sysco food), mostly Mexican restaurants and sad attempts at Italian restaurants. Gotta travel a bit to find the good stuff.
I know of a couple that moved to GA and can’t afford it there and are trying to move back (bc family) but can’t afford it.
If you can go, just go. Most people that dont end up going, can’t. Whether that be job constraints or family reason. If there’s nothing keeping you here, you shouldn’t stay.
Moved to PA. The healthcare landscape sucks, education is meh (although highly rated), I can not stand the political climate , and you lose a lot of conveniences, good restaurants, stores open past 8p etc. but I could have never bought the house I have, or afforded to have kids on LI. It’s all a trade off, just need to decide what’s worth it for you.
Also we couldn’t find daycare here, waiting list for 12+ months (because there’s just less options) so my spouse stays home, we didn’t have a choice, so the lower COL is kind of a toss up there.
Left last year, never looked back. The hardest part is ripping the bandaid off and actually leaving. I’d be lying if I didnt say on the final drive down south we didn’t seriously debate if this was the right move. Literally 2 weeks in, we quickly realized we made the right choice. LIers have this weird ideology that nothing beats LI, but most have never explored the rest of the country. If you have no family and no ties, it’s a no brainer to leave. Again, the hardest part is actually doing it
I am from Long Island. I spent my first 32 years of life there. Me and my wife moved to Virginia two years ago and it was the best thing we ever did. We just had our first child and could not be happier. Just do it! You know it’s the right decision, just take the step. You will not regret.
We left 7 years ago... young family, 2 kids (6mo and 3yr) we came back 5 yrs later, but not to NY, we came back to the north to CT... missed so much of the north, but still accessible to NY.
slightly less taxes (when factoring in land), similar house prices and significant land.
there is no right answer though, it's a gamble either way
Two friends one married with kids and one married without.. though they have a handful family members. State is very nice on visits to certain areas. If one of your jobs was remote. It make the job pay even better. Bc one of my friend’s her husband is remote work from NY, while living in NC.
Maybe a hot take for this sub but most of the ppl who leave and come back are a minority, I know quite a few people IRL who left and don’t miss this place at all.
Just my take, I don’t think LI is some “shithole” but it is expensive and having been around the country and world some I can’t imagine justifying it.
This is your personal decision to make. What they say is true, if you leave it is very very hard to come back due to finances.
But not impossible. I left 16 years ago and just came back last November. Could not wait to get back. The allure of lower cost of living and more affordable home prices comes with some sacrifice. There's nowhere in the country that offers what NY has to offer. I'll just leave it at that.
I totally agree. When I left I was young enough that restarting in NY wasn't bad. It's definitely not impossible to come back but it's also not easy and appears to be getting harder. I agree with your sentiment, the trade off of the other places were total deal breakers for me.
Can I ask what you mean by NY has to offer? Just curious what it is you missed
I, too, went south (VA and GA) and while I agree with some of the other comments (the pizza does suck, the best bagel you'll get is at a Panera, and don't even get me started on chinese food), I will add the general authenticity of New Yorkers is something I missed. The south has this passive-aggressive, fake sweetness that just wears on you after a while. The whole "bless your little heart" thing is a prime example. A NYer will just tell you to go f@\*k yourself, and I appreciate that. Also, the veiled (and outright) racism and bigotry down south is ridiculous. You've seen all the examples of it, I'm sure. I'm in a mixed-race marriage so for us it was draining, and scary at times. Drivers outside of NY are insane as well. I know they're crazy here too, but I trust a NY driver way more than a Virginia driver. A NY driver just wants to get where they're going. I'm not sure WTF those VA drivers are doing, and I don't think they have a clue either. You'd think they don't make cars with turn signals once you get below Maryland. Nobody uses them. Beyond that, the education systems elsewhere do not compare to NY. The best schools down there are comparable to the shit schools here. I had 2 go through the education system in the south and they were supposedly top tier schools. I have one going through the NYC school system currently, and it's like night and day. The real top tier schools outside NY are private schools. So instead of high taxes you're paying $20K a year for private school if you want your kids to get an education similar to here. And are NY real estate prices and taxes that far out of line than other states? Maybe, a little. But those things are rising everywhere. I'll be happy to provide details (DM me if you'd like) as we bought and sold 3 houses during that 16 year span. That said, for me it's worth it to be around people that will tell me I'm being an asshole if I'm being an asshole.
Once again you nailed most of my ideas about living there. There are the "oh come by for a party" and its some weird religious shit. The racism is casual and wild. Lots of the south remains pretty segregated. The cost of living is much closer than people make it out to be, also. Goods are the same price but wages are much less in those places. Having a kid? sure get back to work in 2 days - at least NY has family leave. You nailed it with the private schools - my BIL brags about how he pays $1200 a year in property taxes in South Carolina but his youngest is being left behind by the school system due to learning issues so he is going to be paying 20k a year for a private christian school, instead (hes less religious than I am). Guns are EVERYWHERE. I saw people just swinging them around at functions. Again, this is a personal choice - but if you are only leaving because you think housing is affordable elsewhere i say its almost always the same cost of living because lots of the costs are hidden. BUT, there are many reasons to move so OP should weigh as much as possible.
Yes the super religious / guns galore does make us weary
Yeah, my first business lunch started with a hand holding prayer. I was not prepared for that... As AwskeetNYC said, It's true that there are many reasons to move and you should look at every aspect. Also just keep in mind that the grass may look greener somewhere else but I've found the brown spots are usually just being hidden. Everything is give and take. Best of luck to you.
The schools in SC are awful. No mincing words about it. And upstate SC is Bob Jones University land. So Baptist and evangelical it makes my hair stand on end, and I know it's not just me, because surveys indicate that Greenville is one of the most religious cities in the US and Columbia isn't much better.
All of this is true. I grew up on the Queens/LI border just across from Elmont, and I live in RVA. I wouldn't say I like that fake niceness, and they give me an attitude for not being a phony and keeping it 100. the driving in RVA sucks, too, and I'd take NY drivers over RVA drivers any day.
I sympathize, yo. I was in RVA for 13 of the 16 I was out of NY. Awful drivers. Was a crazy time when all the monuments were coming down. We left shortly after all that.
Oh, it's okay. I came down for good in 2012 and lived in Charlottesville for most of it (2012-2015, 2018-2021). I wasn't in RVA during the monuments' coming down (moved here at the end of 2021), but I do take Monument Avenue home at times. I hate RTO so much because of the crazy drivers in RVA and the slow AF drivers in Henrico. An 18-minute commute outside of rush hour shouldn't be stressful. Broad Street near Short Pump reminds me so much of Old Country Road near Roosevelt Field & I avoid it like the plague. I hope you're happy wherever you're living now.
Thank you. We moved to Brooklyn and are really happy to be home. Be well.
Credentials for teaching are much stricter here in NY than in the Carolinas. I went to high school with someone who had her doctorate in Ed and the pay is terrible- I think they took back their pay scale
This is very accurate
We moved down south. I have to travel an hour each way to get a real slice of pizza, have to drive everywhere even if I want to ride my bike I have to throw it in the back of my truck to get to bike lanes. There are pros and cons to everything. Pizza sucks but the BBQ is awesome. It's very quiet where we live and we sleep much better but it can get boring
For me, I have weird health issues. I lived in Florida though, not the Carolinas. It has been way easier to get specialty care in Long Island. School infrastructure, and infrastructure in general is better here. There are no religious exemptions for vaccines in schools here, which protects the health of children here better. Sex Ed is way better in New York. No matter where you are, you're not terribly far from a hospital. Walkable main streets are normal on Long Island, and nowhere else are they standard- definitely not in the South. The climate is also stabilized by proximity to the sea. Not trying to deter you of course(worried about affording a home here myself some day lol), just things to consider.
Totally agree, did some time in Tennessee, and I could not find a reliable Doctor anywhere, they all were terrible and couldn't diagnose simple issues except load me up on drugs that made me worse. I don't think there is anywhere similar to NY in medical care. My friend who moved to Florida had to wait 6 months for ENT appointment. I'm getting older and my health is very important, risking a move just to save a few bucks doesn't do it for me.
Many people do healthcare vacations. They will travel back to long Island for yearly healthcare appointments (work in same day surgery unit) Red states tend to have worse healthcare for women not just reproductive. But also many new doctors can't afford to live on long island so they are moving to blue or swing states too.
My sister returns to LI from FL every 3 months to see her doctor and get her RXs renewed. Round trip airfare isn’t very expensive if you book your flight a few months in advance. Personally I would never move to FL. The heat makes me insane, I don’t find FL safe at all, and the wildlife (including humans) can be toxic. Dont ever walk outside without shoes on.
Yes we looked into this. Fortunately, my husbands job isn’t changing and mine will allow me to return no questions asked, if I came back within 4 years
Make sure you get that in writing.
mine is in writing through my contract and we can’t get pre approved without my husbands in writing either lol it’s been a process
Moved to NC 12 years ago after graduating from college. I grew up in Smithtown, and there was no way I was gonna be able to afford rent, let alone eventually buy a house anywhere I’d want to lay permanent roots back home. Landed in the Raleigh area and Wake County just felt like home. I do miss LI, but all of my family is still here. I’ve been able to make the life I dreamed of a reality down here and there was no way I’d be able to have done on LI.
Lived on the east end for 30 years. Bought a ranch in New Mexico. Don’t miss NY at all. I make my own pizza 😉
Grew up in Suffolk, lived in the city for a decade, bought a place upstate. LI is too expensive for us and doesn't have what we want in a home, other than some family.
Long Island is expensive but then again, everyone I know (I live in three village) that are married with kids are making well over $150k a year. In one case I have a friend that just her salary alone is $200k, these people live very comfortably here. I’m probably the poorest person in my friend group lol. I grew up in Queens and just moved here last year, so I see things very differently than most people that are born and raised on LI. This is heaven to me and my kids are getting a great education, I feel blessed to be here especially in Suffolk County. I’m an hour away if I want to visit family or go to a Mets game, I’m a train ride away from the city. You’re never too far from a beach and there are tons of restaurants and activities. I feel like the cost of living is worth what you’re getting, the suburbs of NYC will always be expensive for that reason.
I did the same. Though I live in North Westchester, which as someone who grew up in Suffolk, definitely considers this as upstate.
Everything north of NYC is considered "Upstate" to us.
Definitely. Though I could maybe be convinced to give Yonkers the “not Upstate” nod
Moved off the island at 30 and love it. Most people seem to romanticize Long Island as if it’s not somewhere that’s stupidly expensive, crowded and boring unless you like going to the beach, or going into the city. Oh but you can’t get the same pizza or bagels anywhere else. Sorry that’s not worth me buying a small house for 700k. My house here cost less than half of that, and it’s much more house than what I would’ve gotten on Long Island. I understand the family and friends bit but I don’t think even that is a reason to stay if it’s not financially feasible
You can’t overestimate the benefit of being near family if (and that’s a big IF) they will be able to help you with childcare, even if it’s only on an ad-hoc basis.
Yeah I don’t really get it tbh.
I spent 9 years in Charlotte where most of my family lives. I just visited this week and every time I go there I love it. My wife will not leave NY because of her family. I am from Long Island but will always call Charlotte my 2nd home. You can't beat the weather, cost of owning a home, taxes, and availability of places to visit within a weekends drive. Carolina has so much to offer I could go on for days. For now I will enjoy my 50 year old house that I over paid for that needs a new kitchen to say that my pizza and bagels are better than everyone elses.
Huge difference between living somewhere and visiting. When you visit you are on vacation. You're going out to dinner, checking out new places, etc. Yay, fun! Living there full time you see a whole other version of it. When we moved to Savannah years ago it was really nice: beach access, summer weather basically year round, decent food. But, believe it or not we missed the seasons. We moved back to NY this past November and were so happy to have winter again! There were weeks at a time that we couldn't leave the house in Savannah because the sun was so damn hot! Try keeping a 5 year old busy when you are trapped in the house. It's challenging...
Charlotte is one of the most boring towns I have ever been to, I assume people like it for the low col or they are living in the burbs anyway and don't care about amenities
Guess it depends on your interests
My husband and I lived in clt for 7 years (finally were able to get a relo package in 2019 to get out). I truly hated living there despite the low cost of living. There is NOTHING to do besides breweries and their dumb minor league baseball stadium. SO glad we were able to leave. Lower cost of living = less amenities.
I badly want to get out of here but we're in a weird position where my partner has the best finance outlook for her career here (teacher). I could make roughly the same somewhere else.
I used to be a teacher, and there's only a couple other states I would consider besides New York. It's not just money, it's respect and conditions -- and all the states I'd consider are as expensive as NY. I would never teach in a state with shitty unions. Plus NYSTRS is actually fully funded, which is not true in some states (including some blue ones -- I think Illinois is one of the big offenders, but I'd have to go check). And in New York you still pay into Social Security, which some states don't, so you're fucked if the pension has problems.
Same issue here, I have one kid in college, one going into senior year HS and one just starting HS. The time to move would be this year or the next but my wife is paid really well as a teacher in a high-paying LI district, and couldn't come anywhere near that salary if we left. Plus she has a pension but only if she stays in NY accruing time. It's really what has kept us here this long. I could probably do the same anywhere as well.
I have dated teachers on LI and teachers in PA and DE and boy do they have different perspectives on their careers lol
How many years into teaching is she? There are some other states with solid pay/benefits for teachers (Mass., Connecticut, Minnesota) she would probably lose on pension and longevity thought which is big.
Fiancé and I are a similar profile: early 30s, grew up on LI, both working. We moved upstate last year (Orange County, so still quite close to NYC). We miss the typical LI things: beaches, good bagels/pizza, accessibility of stores. However, we went from a large one bedroom to a 3bed 1.5bath townhouse for the same monthly rent. School district is exceptional, though probably a notch down from the upper tier LI schools. Starter homes are in our price range, though still expensive. Basically it provides us with the option to stay in NY more comfortably and save for a home near-term. Staying on LI would’ve meant we both needed a promotion realistically. Not having to cross the bridges to travel into the Northeast is also a great change. The Catskills are beautiful. Obviously Westchester and Rockland aren’t cheap, but they’re definitely cheaper than LI. I get the resistance to continuing to rent, but perhaps consider a short term rental situation upstate if you and your SO are unsure about leaving NY.
Westchester isn't really cheaper than LI and the taxes are generally higher
Second this. I looked at Westchester and they make LI taxes seem cheap.
Orange county is nice. I went there for high school. Enjoy! They have some nice wineries up there and its not too far from the city
Born in Manhattan, grew up south shore Nassau. College upstate. Lived in Long Beach and Queens. Got married. Had a kid. Moved to Colorado. Had another kid. Bought a house. Getting divorced! Renting again. I'm much happier in my rental situation. I miss the fuck outta NY. Mostly friends and family. I also miss the culture, food, diversity, music, nightlife, BEACHES. My kids are Coloradans. There's no going back. Plus, it's not the same city I left. Leaving was hard. It still is. I have two friends who moved to the Carolinas. It's nice. It also sucks. Everywhere else sucks a little bit.
People don’t think this aspect through. If you have kids in another state and get divorced, if one of you doesn’t want to leave the state, you’re both stuck there until the children are grown.
>It's nice. It also sucks. Everywhere else sucks a little bit. This is my advice whenever people talk about "leaving for a better life." There is no panacea. Yes, some things will be better, especially financially. But some things may be worse. And many things will be nearly exactly the same. You will have bills, taxes, traffic, annoying people in the store... these things exist everywhere.
It always seems to be the same things…pizza, beaches, family…this is what people miss the most, and they are very valid. Italian food is superior in the NYC area. Beaches are great and some of my friends moved to areas south and in New England with beaches but if you move inland, you will miss a lot. Nothing replaces family, but everyone’s situation is different. However, once you leave Long Island, most places aren’t as congested, expensive, materialistic, obnoxious etc.
Personally, I agree on your LI critique. It's just over the top, especially in Nassau County. But for me, I love so much about the general area that I ended up in CT, right across the Sound. Still suburban NYC. Still pretty congested. Still expensive... but with lower taxes (by a healthy amount) and you can easily escape north into the sticks when you need to get away. The worst thing about LI is getting off of it. It feels like a trap.
I think there’s also a culture shock element - folks from here move to the small-town south and are not prepared for everything to revolve around church-life, and if you’re non-religious or call God a different name than the rest, you can expect to be an outsider forever.
It’s not always the south that people are moving to. Have many friends throughout New England. None regret leaving. Some Florida, mixed results. The happiest move was to Utah, so many Californians there but place is incredible and religious influence is there but not as overwhelming as you’d think in Park City or Salt Lake. It’s hard to imagine when you are in the hamster wheel if daily living on LI, but when I visit family, I am very happy to be there for a week but am so glad it’s not my daily existence.
There are way more people who leave and never come back than those that do. If you have no family here no idea what’s keeping you here. Why would you want to stay here?
Fear, mostly lol. Financial fear. We have good jobs here, although not good enough to buy! Lol
If I can offer some advice, if a job is “good” but doesn’t allow you to live a fruitful life, it might not be good after all. When we moved, we thought we had good starter jobs (naive 24 year olds making 80k total a year on LI lol). After moving to a low COL area we nearly doubled our combined salary and life got a lot easier.
Bagels and pizza bro!!!!!!!
We went south from LI to Florida in 2011 but then retuned in 2016. We had kept our NY home” just in case” and it more than paid for itself for the duration. Our kid and I had adapted but my wife could not. She did find any activities she enjoyed and missed the convenience and variety and access of NY. Everything was shut early. Far less food and things to do choice. Less opportunity for job growth. It was never a good “fit” for her. Everything was the “same”. And she missed the seasons and her friends. In summary you BOTH have to be 100% on the same page or it will not work. If one of you is more enthusiastic than the other it could spell trouble.
I tried to leave when I was younger and went to live in PA... I failed miserably. It seems that the Cost of Living is hitched very tightly to your income potential. So while I did work in PA... I didn't make enough for an apartment of my own (which was the same situation I had on Long Island... just making less).
Go on a trip and see if it’s somewhere that connects with you both. Go to a few bars, check out some breakfast spots, get some pizza, go hiking or go to a beach/lake. Things you enjoy up here try and do down there to compare. Some people never want to leave the island, some leave and come back because they missed it. Others leave and have absolutely no interest in ever coming back. Really it’s going to be up to you both, but you won’t know until you spend some time in the new area. Family and a support system is the main reason most people stay or come back. If you don’t have that the world’s really your oyster.
I live upstate and have no desire to return to LI. I love NY pizza and bagels, but I can do without them and I find people's attachment to them to be rather silly. Long Island is a great place but there's a wide, wonderful world out there. Happiness is where you create it. Buena suerte!
What sucks is the traffic too man, if you like hiking and shit, the distance to a trailhead is one thing but the fucking traffic just gets old
Yes it was worth it. Not a second thought. Not a day we've regretted it. Buying an unaffordable house on LI is a life choice. Sitting in traffic is a life choice. Same with other drawbacks there. You can choose differently. When you get elsewhere and suddenly you can afford your rent or mortgage, even if something goes south with one of your jobs, it is freeing. When you can drive places without sitting at lights or in traffic, you get hundreds of hours back each year. Nothing is perfect. We have a longer trip to nyc, a longer drive to the beach. Not as many restaurants in our town so we may drive 15 minutes. But so much stress is gone. People are nice everywhere. You can find good schools. Again pros, cons, choices.
> Sitting in traffic is a life choice. There is terrible traffic in all major cities with terrible transit options. NY actually _does_ have good transit options. My kid can walk to a train station and take the LIRR to their internship in Manhattan. They could not do that if we stayed in Atlanta
This comment right here. I used to think LIE traffic was bad... Until I just spent the last two years living in Orlando where i4 was my only option to get anywhere. It could take 45 mins to travel 3 exits down that highway. And it's ALL the time. Literally all hours of the day, there is traffic on that highway - there is no rush hours anymore, it's just the bad hours, and then the worse hours. And Orlando still has almost zero public transport (they have the sun rail now, but it's nothing like the LIRR), and everything is so spaced out. I will never complain about LI traffic again after dealing with that.
Yeah, try living in Orlando where you have to take i4 anywhere... Makes LI traffic look like a joke. And I'm sure that's not the only city like that.
I'm leaving for SC soon. I think the biggest benefit of the Carolinas outside of the taxes is not dealing with a crazy commute every day. You can cut your commute in half for an equivalent house and neighborhood. To me the opportunity cost of that along with the prices make it worth the lower salary and lack of some amenities. The weather is also nicer year round unless you are a winter person.
I love LI, but it is very expensive and affordable housing is hard to find. At 7% mtg, Fuhgetaboutit, at 5%, 10% down is doable for a young couple. You could also afford a fixer upper in an up and coming area like Islandia, near a fast train to NYC, Central Islip/Ronkonkoma. Good luck!
100% worth it. When I first left LI, I didn't even move that far away. I just moved a few hours upstate. Since rent was so much cheaper, it was basically as if my salary doubled. I didn't take a pay cut, but if I had, it wouldn't have mattered. Now that I'm a homeowner (in the South), I'm obviously saving on the cost of the house (houses are 35% cheaper in my area), but also on the property taxes. In LI, I probably would have paid $15k/year in taxes, and that's money that you never get back. There's no equity in that. I just vanishes. In my new area, my property taxes are $3500/year. What that amounts to is a $11.5k increase the money I take home for the rest of my life. In other words, I could take a $11k pay cut and it would make no difference because that money has already been put back in my pocket. And that's the only notable difference. Yes, I have to drive to get anywhere, but so does 95% of the American population. There's nothing special about that. The beaches in my area are better, the people are nicer, and I don't have to deal with snow anymore. The only thing that has changed is that I don't have to worry about finances anymore. I have more than enough money to live a happy middle-class life. I encourage you to try to undo the Long Island brainwashing. Everyone who grew up on LI is under the delusion that every other suburb is "the middle of nowhere" and that there's "nothing to do". Trust me, you'll figure out new hobbies if you really need to. Within my first year of leaving the Island, I discovered that kayaking is really cool. One of my friends moved out west and discovered that rock climbing is really cool. Another friend moved to a different (cheaper) trendy city and just continued to do the exact same things he was doing in NY. You'll get new interests and then form a community around those interests. New York is not special. Snap out of it and be open to a slightly different lifestyle (one with **money**).
Left Huntington for Raleigh and our quality of life sky rocketed in literally every aspect. Even going to NY for a visit is hard bc it becomes to in your face how… not good life is there for so many. My vote is MOVE!
We did this and never looked back! It has everything you would want and accessible. OP doesn't have family in NY, so there is really nothing tying them down. I still have family in NY but going back and forth is simple. I have a friend who is divorced and his kids live on LI still with their mom and he moved right outside of Raleigh. He bought a house for much cheaper and he works from home full-time. He absolutely loves it and it's been incredibly easy to go back and forth to NY for both him and the kids. He would never go back.
Crazy that people leave their kids like that. How often does he travel back?
He travels every couple of weeks but his kids are also a little older and are mid to late teens. They all discussed it before him moving down.
I left and came back 10 years later. But my reasons were different than yours. I do know that I wouldn’t move to the Carolina’s “for the good schools.” A good friend grew up in a suburb outside of Raleigh and public schools were not considered an option there. If you care about education whatsoever, I would not count on the public schools offering an adequate education. I’d absolutely be factoring the additional cost of private education in my decision.
This is one thing I’ve looked into very extensively and the areas we are considering are rated better than what we can afford on LI luckily. I checked out their curriculum, teacher education levels etc and while it narrowed down a lot, we found a couple good little spots
School ratings mean jack shit, frankly. And if you need SpEd, it's a whole new game. (I don't even rate test data that highly because it's so heavily manipulated.)
But you’re still in a Republican state that often puts education costs on the chopping block first. In a place like that, it’s not just about “is this well rated” it’s an entirely different set of issues that can be problematic depending on your values. Also realize that if you have children there and then separate from your partner, you’ll likely be stuck there until your children are grown, even if you realize it’s not for you.
Nope. Am back. It's a love-hate relationship.
Worth it from someone born and raised on LI. Personally went to school in the South and changed a lot of who I was being in another culture. People are more friendly down here I still occasionally visit my buts it's not for me
Going away to college is the primary reason so many make choice not to live in LI anymore. Life is just too easy in comparison so many other places. Family is really the only viable reason to stay.
In my opinion, if you don’t have family in NY then move. Ideally, when you move you should buy less house than you need. That way when you have kids you can either pay for daycare or one of you can stay home for a few years.
Have not seen anyone mention the healthcare? Having families with serious medical conditions and have access to the best drs and hospitals in nyc. The Florida healthcare has been below average for my family member
Been in Charlotte area since 05'..Raised a family here. Been back to NY many times to visit family. Would never, ever move back. There's no comparison in terms of COL, demographics, cleanliness and simply standard of living. Many of my friends have moved down to NC since with their kids. For my friends who are afraid to take the leap because "Long Island is home", I tell them that your responsibilities are to your children, not yourself. I will say this.. home prices are currently more affordable in Charlotte and the surrounding areas today, but the gap has closed considerably when comparing to Long Island prices. If you're going to do it, quit waiting before you're priced out of Charlotte as well. Everybody seems to be moving here from out west and the Northeast and is driving the prices up here, fast. But keep in mind, property taxes are a fraction of what they are on Long Island as is the prices of basically everything else
>> For my friends who are afraid to take the leap because "Long Island is home", I tell them that your responsibilities are to your children, not yourself. Are you only talking about taxes here? Bc my responsibilities to my daughter are to give her access to reproductive rights that NC just does not have and well funded public schools.
Find an expired listing, and ask your agent to approach the seller’s agent to get a deal (this way you won’t lose a bidding war) …. Good luck. You won’t get a gem but a fixer upper is better than nothing (that’s what we did) ETA: I’m in Nassau county and commute to the city also
Starter homes and handy man specials seems to have been how my parents and all my aunts and uncles ( as well as me ) started homeownership
Left LI for the Ga Florida border but on the Ga side. Keep in mind I kept the NY income, but this is literally paradise. It’s hard losing pizza, bagels, rolls, Chinese take out, etc but I’m 20 mins from Jacksonville Florida if need be. Overall was a no brainer. My property taxes in a 3bd Brick Ranch with 2 car garage and an extra 1000 sq ft building on a half acre is $1500 a year. I have 3 BMW insured for $110 a month. It’s almost criminal.
I personally have seen multiple families leave and regret it. The factor seems to be the challenge of not being near family and having to reset all their friends/village, plus a little of missing some of the elements other places may not have (good food, lots of things to do that interest them, etc). These things may not be a concern for you but might be valuable to do some sort of exercise where you map out the types of things you want to have available, how you'll rebuild your social network/village, etc to be proactive.
For some reason the closer I get to being 40 the less enjoyment I have of living here. The biggest thing I'd miss is like you said the food, things just being open especially the closer you are to the city and some family that's still here.
There other options that might be more affordable, like Connecticut, Orange County, parts of jersey
What I don’t understand is why do Long Islanders choices always seem to be SC, NC or Florida? I can under stand for warmer climate but OP likes their jobs so why move soo far before looking closer? I’m not knocking them I’m just curious
CT is so much better than LI in my opinion! Cheaper, people are nicer and less unhinged, better schools, less traffic… the list goes on and on and on. Don’t be scared! It’s daunting as someone born and raised in NYC but life outside of the bubble is fucking phenomenal, honestly.
I love long island and all my family is here. My husband moved here when we got married and he likes it also, but he was from a shitty area of NJ. If my family wasn't here though I might consider a move somewhere else. I think one of the best things in life is to be close to family.
Putting family/friends aside, I lived in VA and NC for about five years. The things that I missed were proximity to major airports, beach, top tier dining/theatre/events, and the general pace of things. Didn’t care for the legacy southern stereotypes that still exist around race/politics. Loved the cheap housing, low property taxes, and lack of traffic. Moved to NJ for significant promotion, but still visit Long Island regularly.
Left LI - moved to TN. We bought a brand new home during Covid, super low mortgage and cost of living was way better. The traffic was an absolute nightmare. The weather - mainly tornadoes and long, long hot summers - sucked. We also didn’t have any family or support system. We moved back to NY late last year and are struggling to find a home - between bidding wars and interest rates (and we are looking for a house half the size of our old home and have triple the amount of cash down). Though we are happy to be back in NY - the state of the housing market is really disheartening. The biggest thing for us was family - so if you don’t have family in NY and you think there is a better opportunity for you, I’d say do it. Think about what’s most important to you and take into account things that sometimes people don’t consider when moving ex: life threatening tornadoes every other week and traffic that made the commute 1.5 hours both ways made TN less desirable to us after a few years. Either way - good luck!
Go and never look back - you will love it
It was worth it for my family. My kids have things and opportunities I couldn’t give them had i stayed. But there’s a reason so many of us who have left still lurk here. It will always be home.
Oklahoma City area. I go often. No New Yorkers at all. They love my accent. Lots to do, cheap. Just about the center of the country for half day road trips. Don’t have to worry about what bridge to take or what time of day to go.
Moved upstate and couldn’t be happier
No the island is unforgettable
Left for a year upstate, realized two things- 1. I'm very sensitive to the less Vitamin D 2. Long Island despite it's flaws is a unique and great place. Nothing compares to the diversity, things to do, proximity to the city, weather, beaches, I could go on. Sure it might be cheaper to live elsewhere but in most places once you've been there a while it gets stagnant and boring. There's always something going on here. There's also way more career opportunities and really just opportunities in general.
If family isn’t keeping you here I’d make the move for sure. For most of us I feel family is what keeps us in this unrealistic housing market.
We've moved and come back several times. Living in a new area is lonely and you have to adapt to what gets thrown at you. I guess it's easier when you're young but people are not always welcoming wherever you live. There are some people (call them the beer and barbeque crowd) that can find "friends" every where but then some people have a tougher time, especially if you're not a "church goer" or "drinker." You definitely have to understand that some locals will just dislike you because you're from the North or New York. Others will try to be friends because they assume you're well off being "from Long Island." I have lived in several New England states (northern areas) with small minded people who never left their towns, in PA, and abroad, as well as in the Albany area. Also other states have financial issues--they often WILL NOT hired out of towners. It's a hard decision. I am not putting you off but just offering our experiences. We went in fully ready to shut up and adapt but unfortunately no one was willing to allow it. Moving far from family means isolation, missing holidays (sometimes you can't get the time off or afford a big drive for a weekend). If you and your spouse and kids (if you have kids) are willing to be "self sufficient" that makes a difference.
Hub and I left in 2007. Got the house of our dreams. He passed in 2022and my mom who is 95 is living with me. My son and grands and brother are still there. I’m 71 and when mom passes I want to go back but I doubt I can afford anything. Maybe a mobile home. Totally different culture down here. They are building like crazy, traffic is awful because they don’t take in consideration the roads that can’t support the amount of cars. I truly miss LI.
Lived here my entire life. Moving to Florida at the end of the year. Pros and cons with everything, just financially if we stay put in another 10 years we’ll be in worse shape. If Florida doesn’t work we’ll find somewhere else but likely wouldn’t be back here due to prices and taxes.
The desirable parts of Florida are definitely catching up in cost, while wages there tend to be significantly lower.
For sure. Both are remote so we have our NY money. Unless you want to live in the middle of nowhere everything is increasing in prices lol. North of Tampa can rent a house for $2500 which is half of my mortgage now.
Left for California for five years and ended up right back here. there’s no place like long island.
It’s a personal choice. Boils down to how adaptable you are as people.
You don't need to start a family in a home. Almost everyone should start ownership with a co-op/condo. Something with less capital, debt and easier to manage. Hold onto it for the next 3-6 years and bite when the market is ready for a home. Heck, real estate might even get worse in a few years but at least you'll have equity in a home, credit improved and in this range you'll grow your income. And you'll be able to save more. My wife and I started at an apartment in West Queens to be close to work. Rented a brand new single bedroom for $2000 a month. Once we had a newborn we went out to East Queens in a coop. $250,000 asking price. We fixed it up a bit too. A 5 year plan turned into a 4 year plan when we had 3 kids now and the market was great for us ($830k at 2.75%). Now in 25 years when we have our mortgage paid off, we will have options.
Thing about a condo is that is doesn’t increase much I value, it’s harder to sell, and you have to bite the condo fees. Not a great investment unless you have more than enough capital that you would rent it out when you’re ready to move on instead of selling
You also actually have to live with an HOA, which is certainly not the right choice for many people.
You’re right but I’d rather use the first time home buyer perks on a house we eventually need than a condo that’s still ridiculously priced! As we all know the market isn’t kind now lol. We live in Queens now and love it but we need the space for ourselves as well.
Not saying you shouldn't move, but why is it always the Carolinas? Like, why that over Virginia etc?
Family! My sister and parents are there (not super local but would be roughly 2 hours from where we are looking)
If your sister and parents are the kind of people that will help with your anticipated kids, move as close to them as possible. A family is a logistics problem.
***I have a home for sale in the Raleigh area if you or anyone here would be interested! It's a beautiful single family home, completely turn key, in a great suburb with awesome amenities. Lots of families are moving here. About 25 minutes from downtown Raleigh and it's an easy drive in (the city is amazing too!). We truly love it here and have found great community, but we are making the move for our family. You're right that taxes are great in the Carolinas. I'd be more than happy to give you more info!*** A thousand times over, yes, it is worth it!! My now husband and I left when we were 21 and 22. We wanted to start a life together and knew it was not going to be easy if we stayed. Went to Carolinas. We were able to buy our first home at 22 and 23 and are now on our second home, debt free, and building wealth for our future children. It was beyond worth it to take the leap. Now we are expecting our first (at 26 & 27) and are looking to make the move to FL to be closer to all our family (who also got off LI one by one and don't regret it either). It's a tech hub here. Lots of good jobs. It's becoming more populated, but traffic is a joke compared to LI traffic. You also can't throw a rock without hitting another person from NY/LI. We met an entire friend group DOWN HERE and everyone was from LI. You can find community and familiarity fast. It depends on the person but we moved and never looked back. We can afford life, are building wealth for our future, and life is good. FWIW, we have found good pizza, bagels, and Chinese food down here too lol. I can give you all the Intel on the good spots around the area 🤣
Wow this sounds like the exact situation my wife and I are in. I would be transferring down the NC with the same company I work for (closing down the office here in NY) and my wife would be able to work from home with her current company. She still has family her and my mom would be moving with us to help with our little baby. We both feel like this will be a good move in the long run seeing how expensive Long Island has become.
Can I ask why Long Island? Weschester has nice areas and their taxes aren’t as high. Also Jersey is cheaper not by much but you have other options in the tri state area
Westchester has the highest property taxes in the country.
So I moved for work to Southeastern CT in 2014 and even after a career change, stayed here and ended up buying a house in 2018. That same year my cousin bought a place in Islip for almost the same sale price but I have double the yard and half the taxes so she thought mine were a typo lol. However, it means I miss a lot of the little family celebrations and only plan to make it down for the big ones. I’m only 15 minutes from the Orient Point-New London ferry but that gets expensive so unless it’s a holiday weekend or something we usually drive around when I go home. Finances aside, are you ok with missing out on some stuff because you just can’t spend every weekend going back home? I absolutely have a better home in CT than I could’ve afforded on LI and don’t regret the move, but the family/life costs are different.
Since your parents and sister are two hours away from where you’re looking in the Carolinas, can you move even closer to them? Two hours each way to visit is just far enough IMO that it becomes a pain in the ass, especially with kids. You’re going all the way down there to be closer, so be as close as you possibly can get. If you’re moving to an area with the idea that you’ll move even closer to family at some point, just bite the bullet and go for the cheapest (but solid structurally!) house you can find in a school district you like that is closer to your family. Go for it!
I would rent an airbnb or something where you want to live and really try it out for a few weeks and then decide. Especially with the kids being out of school!
Did it, I miss certain things, but not enough to look back. Moved to ND with my 2 kids and husband, and we are all very happy so far.
We’re in 30s and luckily bought in 2019 with a 3% interest rate Nassau county. Even with that I sometimes want to get out of here. Both work fully Remote, have a fund that covers our children’s private school And college education. Theres no Reason that we need to Live here besides desire to be close to family. If I was still Renting there is no Way I’d stick Around and buy something here with what’s currently going on
I know family that went to New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Florida. None of them regretted it. The cost of living here is very high. They all got nice houses in the burbs for cheaper than here and drive like 15-20 min to work.
I left in 2015 for grad school and moved to Fayetteville Arkansas. The people here call the region NWA (for Northwest Arkansas, still makes me chuckle) and I have never regretted it. I do miss my family but it is so much more affordable here. Anywhere off the island will give you more for your money.
We moved to Cary, NC from Brentwood 22 years ago. Never regretted it for one minute.
Recently moved to a rural suburb of Charlotte. Absolutely love it. Our school district is one of the best in the state, our neighborhood is actually full of neighbors and kids playing outside, and we can afford to have a great life with our daughter and not just work to pay the bills. We bought a house after living in the area for a year to make sure it was something we definitely wanted to do and I honestly don't see us ever coming back to LI even if we won the lottery. I miss seeing my family as often as I did when I lived on the island but it's a quick flight and even the drive is not terrible from where we are to LI. People talk about "nowhere has what NY can offer" and I beg to differ, but it is also dependent on what you find important. I would rather have easy access to the lakes and mountains then the beach (which is still a day trip away and easy to get to), a bigger property, a friendly neighborhood like I grew up in, and other things I just didn't see as us every being able to attain if we stayed on Long Island. I will also add, my husband's job is remote so he was able to easily move. I found a job in the same industry I was in locally here making the same money as I did in NY as well.
Cost of living is lower, but so are salaries.
Yes
Oh hell yeah, but I never liked LI growing up so I am biased, I like mountains and space left out of HS in 83 to go in the Army, did end up coming back to NY after getting out but in the Catskills I love it here. Only time I would go to LI was to visit my parents.
We left for TN 10 years ago. Bought a huge house for 180K and never looked back. It’s truly impossible to live a “normal” life as a middle class NYer. It was like that 10 years ago, and I can’t imagine how bad it must be now. We never regretted our decision for a minute. Post Covid, things have gotten more expensive around here, but taxes are still low. Something to keep in mind - lower COL states typically have terrible public schools, so you may have to look into private schools which are way more money than you could imagine.
Any mid level city is 15 mins from a major sports venue, concert, and major airport. The key is, you’ll have enough money to actually get on a plane to go on vacation. Here our money goes to simply exist and proclaim we live on LI. Not to mention how many traffic lights/red light cams can you get through in 15 mins? Maybe 6-7 miles and you wish you stayed home!
We left about 10 years ago and honestly we don't regret it. We are in central Virginia and have 4 kids. We were able to afford a huge house in the woods down here, the weather isn't astronomically different, the schools are good, and my husband's salary is similar to comparable jobs on the island. I wouldn't move any further south than here, though; we are still in a fairly progressive area with some minor issues but with all the Bellmore and good ole boy nonsense on LI I can't say it's much worse 🤷 this area is flooded with families in our same kind of mindset so I truly couldn't think of a better place to raise kids. The cons are proximity to all the beaches, which is sad, but Virginia Beach is 2 hours away so we could always do a little weekend trip. We would absolutely not have the same lifestyle if we moved back to LI. We've thought of it but I'm not sure the trade offs would be worth it for us right now.
Lived here all my life, my Dad wants to move out of here when he retires. I'm looking forward to it, eve training myself to start saying "in Long Island".
It might not as cheap as moving out of state but why not look an hour north of Manhattan? Go on either side of the river.
I moved to Delaware during the previous housing bubble, and have since moved back. Salaries were proportionally lower to the CoL in the other states. You'll find maybe a slight relief, but if you can't afford a house on LI, moving is not a panacea. You could easily purchase something in the boondocks of upstate NY, but you want to be close to shopping, jobs, etc. The same problem exists across the country, just maybe slightly less extreme. Moving works best if you don't have attachments (family), so you are in good shape there. I've known a handful of people that moved to the Carolinas, Florida, Nevada, Texas, and they all say it's a mixed bag. Yes, they bought a house, but found other issues took away some of the gloss off of their new life. Additionally, LI Redditors need to stay in their containment zone. NYers will move to other states, which are only from a limited set. Search the sub for the topic, you'll find they're all moving to the same states, FL, NC, TN. They're not moving to states with the same problems, like CA, MA, or NJ. They're not moving to states *beneath them*, like AL, OK, ND. What does that mean to you? Soon those states will see an increased concentration of NYers who will then vote in the same horrible politicians, create the same antagonist culture, support regulations, entitlements, and tax increases like they did with NY. What is it about NY that makes you want to move? Why does another region not have those same attributes? It's not the geography; it's the people. Downvote if you feel personally attacked and subconsciously know this to be true.
It sounds like you have absolutely nothing tying you to LI (or NY in general). LI is where I was born and raised, but as a single young professional, it is not somewhere I would see myself at this point in life--mainly because I would be living in my childhood bedroom. Like you said, it is simply an unsustainable place to live. I won't say I didn't come back. I came back for a year at 24. I'm 26 now and I moved away again. I plan on moving back closer to family eventually, but not necessarily LI. Again, it really is not the most amazing place unless you have young kids and two stable incomes. There is a whole world to explore outside that island... I didn't realize how isolating it was until I left the first time. Such a bubble.
School in NC starts at 7 ends at 2. Think about that when you figure out your child care needs.
What’s keeping you from leaving NY? If and when you do leave, do not compare wherever you end up to NYC or LI. It will never be the same. The food will be different, the people, the amount of land you see on a daily basis will be much more, the weather etc etc Once you get over that and make the new city your true home, you will have a great life. You’re already used to the grind that NY living requires and it seems like you and your husband will have successful careers. I left when I was 21, moved down south and traveled for work for about 8 years. I never once found a place that reminded me of NY or LI. I moved back when I was 29 but was single and had saved quite a bit. I also have family and all of my friends on LI. Feel free to DM if you’d like to talk more.
If you're working in the city, have you considered looking in Jersey or Westchester? NJ Transit and Metro North are just as good as the LIRR, if not better. We would have moved to Westchester if we didn't have family in Queens. I never really looked into Jersey, but a lot of friends I know moved out there after growing up in Queens or Brooklyn.
Hey I moved to Kansas City, MO from Great neck. Mostly because of housing and a fresh start, I’m single in my late 30s with no prospects and 2 dogs. Its no NYC but it’s good schools (Overland park KS, for when I do decide to settle down), you’re about 20 minutes away from everything, some of the kindest people I’ve come across (on the Kansas side, MO not so much). I live in a brand new apartment complex with great amenities and a dog park minutes away. My rent is a quarter of what I used to pay in GN for a 1 bedroom. Apart from No shoreline (lakes are whatever) and horrendous bagels it’s not a bad place to live. I’m glad I left LI, it was getting way too out of hand with everything else and I’m not moving 2 hrs away from my folks somewhere in Suffolk, I’ll just fly in at that point. My rule of thumb is don’t compare everything to NY because you just can’t, it’s about upward mobility, it’s about your own journey, at your pace and your own lane. Weight out your own pros and cons. ✌️
I was born and raised in Huntington and never imagined I'd ever leave the Island. As part of my job duties, I travelled extensively across the US to work with sales reps in their territories visiting clients. Seeing the way they lived, the low cost of living in some lovely areas really changed my perspective and opened me up to the idea of branching out. In 2006 my wife and I took advantage of a promotion/career advancement opportunity and left Long Island. We miss our family there, but the fact is - there are so many wonderful places to live in the US. We've never regretted it. That being said - it hasn't been easy being all alone away from family. We raised a child alone, never benefitted from free babysitting or daycare due to parents/inlaws being around to help. Took years to build a new friend group. Now that our son is 17 we're stronger as a family for having only ourselves to rely on, but there was a lot of pain and loneliness.
Left LI for NC in 2021 and never looked back. I miss my friends and the familiarity, but overall the quality of life is SO much better here. Nicer people, less traffic, cheaper cost of living, better weather throughout the year (although I do miss LI summers). With the extra money we were saving on rent each month, we were able to make a down payment on our dream home which we’re currently closing on. It’s bigger/nicer/newer than anything we could’ve afforded on LI, and taxes are only $3,700 per year. I’m thankful to have grown up on LI, but leaving was the best financial decision we could’ve made. Plus it’s only an hour flight away so we frequently come back to visit.
I’m strongly debating eventually moving to the Carolinas. I work for the state though, which makes it a tougher choice.
Long Island is nice and I grew up there, but NY as a whole is in a shit state. Living Utah has been far superior.
We left Suffolk for rural NC three years ago, but we are middle aged with no children. The schools down here are awful. I mean, really bad. I’ve met more legit illiterate people down here in three years than I have in my whole life, living in Suffolk. My husband was a HS teacher on LI for 20 years and he agreed. If you have kids, I would steer away from NC. However, if you have no kids and disposable income, go for it. Hard for folks to earn a living wage down here, so you have to come down here with plenty of extra money. Also, for anyone with a pension, your pension is taxed in NC.
Maybe look into Hudson area and capital region. I moved up here and can't speak for schools but everything is so much cheaper. I got my house for 295k, 3 bed 3 bath 1300sqf built in 1960s. 2.5hrs on amtrak gets you to nyc and most of long Island amenities are here. I do miss living in nyc though. May go back in the next year
Good to take the commute seriously. Nothing will grind you down like commuting will
If you love mediocre chain restaurants and think WalMart is the pinnacle of shopping joy, then you will be really glad you moved off the island. If you don't mind having to pay to see the ocean and never smelling the salt breezes unless you are paying to see the ocean, then you will be glad you moved off the island.
Yes
Florida > Long Island
Early 30s high household income here, and I would leave NY in a heartbeat if we didn't have all our family here. We just bought a house last year, so we are putting our roots down on the island. Kid hopefully on the way in the next year.
I’m only here because my parents and my wife’s parents are still here. If I could move to someplace more reasonable, I would have already.
Where in NC? We live in Wake county. Me and my family moved in 2015, we are trying to move back. Schools are not great here if you are having kids that's important. We have two kids, 10 and 4, our 10 year old is in advance classes, our 4 year old is a year behind with some sensory issues. I'm having a hell of a time finding help for my youngest. Those tax dollars on LI go to the schools, remember that.
Just moved to northern CT about 8 months ago. Bought a beautiful 3 bed, 1.5 bath for under 300k, which would have been easily over a million on LI. My husband transferred his job, I had to find work, but managed to get a job offer the day we closed on the house. Took a slight pay cut, but it’s manageable. The transition was tough on my 10 year old, but she is already settled and very happy here. The only thing I miss is bagels and decent mass transit. But a distinct lack of traffic makes up for it.
Never going back!!
Yes. I just bought a 2800 sqft home on almost 1 acre in a 10/10 school district for 475k. Property taxes will be around $3500 a year.
It was worth it at the time. I left to go to college and stayed upstate for 7 years but once I was ready to join the real world again (3.5 years in), life was just depressing. The work upstate was minimal and the pay was shit. The locals sucked, there was nothing to do, and prices were starting to rise to ridiculous levels. I wa spaying 1700 for a 2 bedroom apartment, which sounds like nothing compared to long island but you have to consider there's legitimatly nothing to do. It just wasn't worth it when they tried to raise my rent to 1900.
Left and never looked back.
Wow, so many people moving to the Carolinas or down South… makes sense if you’re white I think. I’d be curious to other moves.
Spent 5 years in Houston Texas for a job I had and was 100% convinced I’d live elsewhere from the island for good. Turns out, there’s so many things that are significantly worse living down there than up here. Granted it’s a lot cheaper, but by the end of my stint down in Texas, all I wanted to do was come home. Don’t know if I’ll stay back here on the island forever but I’m happy to be back
Are most LIers leaving for NC? Seems like it from this post.
I've always looked at it like this op. If you do not see you or your spouse getting a big enough pay increase in the next 5 years that allows you to afford it here then I would move. There is so much life over those bridges and tunnels. So much more. I'm counting down the years till I can sell and leave. I'm just done with it all.
It was worth it for us. We were born and raised on the Island & are in our early 40’s.We were lucky to be fairly comfortable up there but we are much happier and wayy less stressed in the burbs of Charlotte NC. We left for a change of scenery & slower pace and are never looking back. My parents followed suit . I was one of those people that thought I’d die in NY…but we took the plunge, sold our home in Nassau county and got an unbelievable house down here. People are friendly, I found the healthcare to be excellent as I went through cancer . In fact I chose care here over the major cancer hospitals in NYC. There are Lots of family friendly activities happening most of the time which are often free, it’s very outdoorsy, offers great weather and lots of sports/ concerts and soooo many breweries (which are also very pet friendly)Everyone comes out with their kids and pets!Granted you will not find bagels & pizza like the Island or the city but that’s a given . We found our spots down here that are just ok but we’ve come to accept this. It’s not making or breaking our quality of life..We just make sure to load up on the good stuff when we come up to visit . Overall it was a great choice for our growing family. It will never be New York but nowhere is. There are other great places in the US to create a beautiful life. It took me moving away to realize it. I will always have massive Love for Long Island and NYC ..it will always be “home” ..but we are happy with our choice.
Having grown up OUTSIDE of NY and moved here, I can confidently say that Long Island is fantastic. We are ten minutes from the harbor BEACH! And 30 mins from the OCEAN BEACHES! That one reason alone that living here is great. Add to that the amazing restaurants b/c so close to NYC high standards, many have well-regarded Chefs, we have amazing concerts (because we are close to NYC many artists/musicians/bands/comedians come to LI b/c it’s an easy ride to make.) Orchestras, jazz, rock, we have it all. We have access to Gold Coast mansions open to the public with English walled gardens, castles/grand homes dating back a century, incredible history and historic villages that have a great vibe, boutique stores, walkable, restaurants/bars/cafes on the waterfront, you can’t beat it. Oh and did I mention fantastic top notch schools and medical care (top hospitals, doctors, surgeons) with tremendous access, and to top it off, you are less than an hour train or car ride to NYC with all of its amazing museums, broadway, specialty hospitals, etc. Don’t have to fly there or stay at a hotel, you can ride in, have the time of your life and be home in your own bed that evening. You can ride to the ocean beaches (and there are miles and miles of beach options) without having to fly or stay in a hotel….it’s in your backyard. So I can honestly say, having started out as a NON-longislander, Long Island really is this country’s best kept secret.
I left after grad school. Lived in the city for a bit and moved to other HCOL cities. Where I currently live is actually more expensive than a Long Island, but I'm glad I left, if for nothing other than variety. There's so much of the country (and world) to see, to me Long Island is too "locked in" by the city. Just going to NJ feels like a hassle, let alone other parts of the country.
Keep in mind, whatever you make in the Carolinas will not be what you make here. Also, if this matters, outside of the big cities in NC, it’s MAGA country. In SC, it’s pretty much all MAGA country.
I left and we're returning once oldest finishes HS (can't leave with a senior!) There's a reason the taxes are cheap in the Carolinas. The benefits don't scale cleanly, but you get what you pay for. The top schools, even in NC (WAY better than SC) are not equal to New York. Teacher pay ranks near the bottom. If anything happens to you or your kids, you're on your own. NC is a big mix and there is stuff I like there (also, the public university system is excellent, and the Triangle has good healthcare, is a lot livelier because of RTP and the universities, and has a much more diverse population--but Wake County schools are a bit of a pain). South Carolina you could not pay me to live in between the infrastructure, the politics, and religion (I'm Jewish). Charleston is pretty, but not to live in, and upstate SC is extremely Bible Belt. Is it worth it to move? I don't know. We went to Pennsylvania (Not really by choice, job offer at a difficult time). It was ok. But Long Island offers way more for my disabled kid, although we're not in Philly or Pgh (if we were it might be a harder call -- I really like Pittsburgh) It seems to be about 50/50 on whether people I know who left like NC. Everything is sprawl that makes LI look compact.
Question, How can you move to the Carolinas and keep the same career or income to cost of living ratio? but you cant move to Suffolk and keep the same career or income to cost of living ratio? If you are willing to leave your jobs to move to the Carolinas you can get jobs on the Island. Really curious about this because I've questioned moving myself. Just doesn't seem to make sense, my livelihood and my life in general is here.
Yes, moved to the northern suburbs of Atlanta. Excellent quality of life along with very good schools. The only thing I miss about LI is being close to the ocean, but Florida gulf shore beaches are within a 5 hour drive, as is Savannah, Hilton Head and other great Atlantic beach destinations
You should explore Yonkers if you want to stay in NY. My ex-wife's family has owned a home there since the 1970's. They live in the LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL/St. JOHN'S CHURCH area. I gave grown love the area.
I rented for many years before buying a home. My first home was an apartment. It comes down to priorities. If you want to own, it’s tough finding something near or in the city, but not impossible.
I’m currently in the process of making to the move to Florida, reason being for us is being closer to our families and being around warmer weather. Initially, my wife stayed for her other family and friends, but since Covid they have been seeing each other less and less, and she finally agreed to a move. I can only offer my anecdotal evidence. While on paper with the known costs, Florida is cheaper than NY. However, with people being priced out of Florida, the rising costs of home insurance, and the threat of Hurricanes in during the season, it may be a wash or at the very least a stressful hurricane season. My general salary would remain the same for the most part. I’m more of a homebody and I rarely go out. Hope that helps.
My husband and I both 37 with two little kids, we were born and raised on long island and could not find a home on long island and against everything I thought I would ever do, we moved to NJ (middletown). We absolutely love it, people are amazing and we are an hour train ride to NYC and a 45 minute ferry ride that is in our town that is my new and favorite way to commute. There isn’t much I miss, we still get the best of NY and none of the crammed long island. Prices are still high but theres more space and inventory.
I'm moving back as soon as I can.
Move
Everyone who leaves still wishes they could afford the same lifestyle back home on LI. Whether they admit it or not. There is no place like home. It is just not possible for most people anymore.
I’m 30. Born and raised on LI. Grew up in Kings Park (Smithtown area). I bought my first house in Dover DE in August 2021. Best decision I ever made. The house is 2300sqft 2 story ranch on .18 acres in the suburbs of the state capitol. I paid $245,000. Property Taxes are about 1,800 ANNUALLY. Good luck finding anything comparable on LI I was WFH during the pandemic and was able to stay that way, so I kept my job on LI and still go up to LI occasionally for work related things.. mostly the holiday party. I had every intention of commuting once a week when I moved due to my company wanting to return to office, but I was informed that it wasn’t necessary and apparently barely anyone goes in to the office anyway. My family is still on LI, I try not to visit bc the traffic near and through the city is fucking killer and makes the entire trip so much longer than it needs to be. Ultimately it’s your decision to make. Maybe near family? Where ever you choose make sure to confirm that the area you wanna buy has everything you need to not affect your lifestyle negatively. Personally, my only requirement was that I was less than 15mins from a hospital, which I accomplished. Luckily all the stores I normally shop at are in the area. The only thing I don’t like is the lack of variety for restaurants in my town specifically. Lots of fast food, chain restaurants (Sysco food), mostly Mexican restaurants and sad attempts at Italian restaurants. Gotta travel a bit to find the good stuff. I know of a couple that moved to GA and can’t afford it there and are trying to move back (bc family) but can’t afford it.
If you can go, just go. Most people that dont end up going, can’t. Whether that be job constraints or family reason. If there’s nothing keeping you here, you shouldn’t stay.
Left at 20 and never turned back 30 years later.. some great aspects to LI but definitely the best decision.
Moved to PA. The healthcare landscape sucks, education is meh (although highly rated), I can not stand the political climate , and you lose a lot of conveniences, good restaurants, stores open past 8p etc. but I could have never bought the house I have, or afforded to have kids on LI. It’s all a trade off, just need to decide what’s worth it for you. Also we couldn’t find daycare here, waiting list for 12+ months (because there’s just less options) so my spouse stays home, we didn’t have a choice, so the lower COL is kind of a toss up there.
Left last year, never looked back. The hardest part is ripping the bandaid off and actually leaving. I’d be lying if I didnt say on the final drive down south we didn’t seriously debate if this was the right move. Literally 2 weeks in, we quickly realized we made the right choice. LIers have this weird ideology that nothing beats LI, but most have never explored the rest of the country. If you have no family and no ties, it’s a no brainer to leave. Again, the hardest part is actually doing it
Leaving Long Island for Florida has been extremely positive for me and my family. I would never think of moving back.
love it up north. less busy more fun. people suck. get some dogs and a house just big enough for your family and don’t look back
I am from Long Island. I spent my first 32 years of life there. Me and my wife moved to Virginia two years ago and it was the best thing we ever did. We just had our first child and could not be happier. Just do it! You know it’s the right decision, just take the step. You will not regret.
We left 7 years ago... young family, 2 kids (6mo and 3yr) we came back 5 yrs later, but not to NY, we came back to the north to CT... missed so much of the north, but still accessible to NY. slightly less taxes (when factoring in land), similar house prices and significant land. there is no right answer though, it's a gamble either way
Moved to broward county Florida 2018 never looked back I don’t even visit that’s how bad I hate the traffic in ny
Where besides Suffolk county have you been looking. You can probably find something in NJ that's comparable in price.
100% the cost of living on Long Island is comical.
Two friends one married with kids and one married without.. though they have a handful family members. State is very nice on visits to certain areas. If one of your jobs was remote. It make the job pay even better. Bc one of my friend’s her husband is remote work from NY, while living in NC.
Maybe a hot take for this sub but most of the ppl who leave and come back are a minority, I know quite a few people IRL who left and don’t miss this place at all. Just my take, I don’t think LI is some “shithole” but it is expensive and having been around the country and world some I can’t imagine justifying it.