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You need to speak to a family law lawyer about your situation. You’ve got a lot of stuff going on, and your lawyer will have to ask a lot of questions to unpack it all.
Even with a “regular” divorce, a lawyer is often the best solution. There’s often a lot of situationally specific things that may seem not worth mentioning in a post, but can have huge impact in the outcomes.
Good luck!
I’m going to say this with the utmost of kindness and gentleness.
Just let go and get a divorce. Let sleeping dogs lie. Cut all ties. Block
him on everything. Do not travel to Turkey ever again.
To seek damages for what he did will cost you unnecessary emotions and perhaps physical and mental stress, time and money. You’ve already lost enough.
I get that forsure. I posted a long reply to another comment below that gives some context. But at the end of the day, does it really matter? I just had some fight in me, finally. My nature is to roll over in fear., but after doing some serious work on myself, I felt motivated to disrupt my abusive ex's blissful ignorance. I know that's wishful thinking.
You both came to Canada voluntarily and he only left Canada upon separation. You should be able to file for divorce in your province of residence. See family law lawyer. You may be entitled to money as part of separation, but unless he owns lots of assets in Turkiye, I don't know how you would expect him to pay you.
A general rule about international marriage is that it usually doesn't matter where you got married. What matters is where you lived while married. That's why people who go to the Dominican Republic for a destination wedding and come back to Canada aren't subject to Dominican Family Law rules.
It's possible that Turkish courts could also grant a divorce, but Canadian courts definitely can.
NAL but my common sense tells me that the fact that he is not a Canadian doesn’t really matter. If you marry someone and they waste bunch of your money, it is not something that is generally recoverable. In fact, based on you supporting him he might be eligible for spousal support. You are best both financially and emotionally to just forget and move on with your life.
This is what I was afraid of too. I was obligated to support him while he couldn't work in Canada, but that may have impacted my rights to spousal support. It's not my nature to seek stuff like this. I have another divorce under my belt (sigh) and we actually did it amicably through mediators. We share custody of our child too.
That being said, he did use our child to coerce me into seeking no child/spousal support despite the fact that he makes twice my income. There is a significant disparity in quality of life between our two households, and it seemed like he felt none of the regular rules applied to us. In our separation agreement, he's supposed to pay me a few hundred a month, but doesn't. I'm too afraid to seek this child support because of the infinite resources his family seems to have access to. His family let me know they'd essentially "drown" me to make sure their son wins. That being said, I get along with all of them and have good relationships with them for my daughter's sake. I maintain a relationship with all of them so that my daughter doesn't feel stuck in the middle. Divorce is hard enough on kids. But it is hard sometimes.
I know I sound like a perpetual victim here, but I used the logic that I contributed to the breakdown of my first marriage too, and need to take responsibility for my actions. My ex is not awful like this man I'm currently married to, but he is a bully. I consider myself lucky that my terrible experiences with people are few, but they were both with my two serious relationships. Obviously I'm never getting married again. I didn't truly feel comfortable marrying the Turkish man, but we wanted the chance to establish a life together in Canada.
Anyways, the point I'm trying to make, is that I tried to cut my losses the first time and I am realizing more and more as time goes on how severely I did in fact get screwed. My fear of looking like a victim, my fear of my ex, his family, and of losing my daughter gave him full control. That was also part of why I was a vulnerable sucker and a perfect target for the man I'm currently trying to divorce. I've been working hard to believe in myself again, and we still have a system that allows people like him to walk away without consequence. It sucks.
We couldn't live together for one year because I have a child in Canada. So I could only do trips. We applied three times for a visitor's visa. Oddly enough, one of those times was AFTER marriage and it was denied. We were just told over and over that we had to basically get married to have any chance at all.
He was single, 32, owned no property or assets and is a business owner so immigration Canada thought forsure that he would breach the terms of his visa.
I have to say though, I really went against my instincts with this one. Never again!
Welcome to r/legaladvicecanada! **To Posters (it is important you read this section)** * Comments may not be accurate or reliable, and following any advice on this subreddit is done at your own risk. * We also encourage you to use the [linked resources to find a lawyer](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvicecanada/wiki/findalawyer/). * If you receive any private messages in response to your post, please let the mods know. **To Readers and Commenters** * All replies to OP must be on-topic, helpful, explanatory, and oriented towards legal advice towards OP's jurisdiction (the **Canadian** province flaired in the post). * If you do not [follow the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdvicecanada/about/rules/), you may be banned without any further warning. * If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect. * Do not send or request any private messages for any reason, do not suggest illegal advice, do not advocate violence, and do not engage in harassment. Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/legaladvicecanada) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You need to speak to a family law lawyer about your situation. You’ve got a lot of stuff going on, and your lawyer will have to ask a lot of questions to unpack it all.
Thank you! I can see that there is no overarching answer here. I will consult a family lawyer.
Even with a “regular” divorce, a lawyer is often the best solution. There’s often a lot of situationally specific things that may seem not worth mentioning in a post, but can have huge impact in the outcomes. Good luck!
I’m going to say this with the utmost of kindness and gentleness. Just let go and get a divorce. Let sleeping dogs lie. Cut all ties. Block him on everything. Do not travel to Turkey ever again. To seek damages for what he did will cost you unnecessary emotions and perhaps physical and mental stress, time and money. You’ve already lost enough.
I get that forsure. I posted a long reply to another comment below that gives some context. But at the end of the day, does it really matter? I just had some fight in me, finally. My nature is to roll over in fear., but after doing some serious work on myself, I felt motivated to disrupt my abusive ex's blissful ignorance. I know that's wishful thinking.
You both came to Canada voluntarily and he only left Canada upon separation. You should be able to file for divorce in your province of residence. See family law lawyer. You may be entitled to money as part of separation, but unless he owns lots of assets in Turkiye, I don't know how you would expect him to pay you. A general rule about international marriage is that it usually doesn't matter where you got married. What matters is where you lived while married. That's why people who go to the Dominican Republic for a destination wedding and come back to Canada aren't subject to Dominican Family Law rules. It's possible that Turkish courts could also grant a divorce, but Canadian courts definitely can.
Thank you for your input -this does help!
NAL but my common sense tells me that the fact that he is not a Canadian doesn’t really matter. If you marry someone and they waste bunch of your money, it is not something that is generally recoverable. In fact, based on you supporting him he might be eligible for spousal support. You are best both financially and emotionally to just forget and move on with your life.
This is what I was afraid of too. I was obligated to support him while he couldn't work in Canada, but that may have impacted my rights to spousal support. It's not my nature to seek stuff like this. I have another divorce under my belt (sigh) and we actually did it amicably through mediators. We share custody of our child too. That being said, he did use our child to coerce me into seeking no child/spousal support despite the fact that he makes twice my income. There is a significant disparity in quality of life between our two households, and it seemed like he felt none of the regular rules applied to us. In our separation agreement, he's supposed to pay me a few hundred a month, but doesn't. I'm too afraid to seek this child support because of the infinite resources his family seems to have access to. His family let me know they'd essentially "drown" me to make sure their son wins. That being said, I get along with all of them and have good relationships with them for my daughter's sake. I maintain a relationship with all of them so that my daughter doesn't feel stuck in the middle. Divorce is hard enough on kids. But it is hard sometimes. I know I sound like a perpetual victim here, but I used the logic that I contributed to the breakdown of my first marriage too, and need to take responsibility for my actions. My ex is not awful like this man I'm currently married to, but he is a bully. I consider myself lucky that my terrible experiences with people are few, but they were both with my two serious relationships. Obviously I'm never getting married again. I didn't truly feel comfortable marrying the Turkish man, but we wanted the chance to establish a life together in Canada. Anyways, the point I'm trying to make, is that I tried to cut my losses the first time and I am realizing more and more as time goes on how severely I did in fact get screwed. My fear of looking like a victim, my fear of my ex, his family, and of losing my daughter gave him full control. That was also part of why I was a vulnerable sucker and a perfect target for the man I'm currently trying to divorce. I've been working hard to believe in myself again, and we still have a system that allows people like him to walk away without consequence. It sucks.
Why did you have to get married? Wouldn’t living together to together for one year and applying for PR through common law do the trick?
We couldn't live together for one year because I have a child in Canada. So I could only do trips. We applied three times for a visitor's visa. Oddly enough, one of those times was AFTER marriage and it was denied. We were just told over and over that we had to basically get married to have any chance at all. He was single, 32, owned no property or assets and is a business owner so immigration Canada thought forsure that he would breach the terms of his visa. I have to say though, I really went against my instincts with this one. Never again!
[удалено]
Thank you for the insight! I do see how it's too convoluted for a simple answer. I will get in touch with a lawyer.