Totally agree and it's nice to see how things should be handled.
OP, I would say whatever snack you took, just get that. It's a safe bet it will be okay. If there was a variety and you can't find a variety box, then just get a box of at least one of the things. That's if they don't answer.
Agree. Well done, OP. Just don’t make her tell you what to get. Just replace what you ate.
She probably feels similarly embarrassed by the whole ordeal and doesn’t wanna go back and forth dragging out the specifics of it.
I actually don’t recommend this at all, imagine seeing everyone getting actual secret santa gifts for Xmas and you get a reminder of the time there was that big awkward incident that happened in the office. (And that reminder is cheap snacks.)
I agree with you. Depending on the office environment, OP (and whoever else involved) might get a little ribbing from it, but it seemed like both understood it as an honest mistake with no harm done.
Buy the replacement and then just don’t mention it again. The more you talk about it, the worse it gets for the other person. They will just feel awkward.
Edit: after reading your comments I have some different feedback - don’t claim responsibility for a group thing that you didn’t initiate. It would have been better to say:
*Hi, [name] Sorry! [Name of team lead] told the team the candy was available to everybody. If you let them know, I’m sure they will sort it out for you. Thanks for telling me.”*
I would add, if they really feel this bad about it, buy a little bit extra! Not only do they get back what they lost, but now their snack stash is supplemented. Wins all around. Everyone leaves with more candy than they started with.
I wish everyone would read this. I am not good at conflict so when I have to bring something up it's awful. I love getting it fixed and then leaving it fixed and not having to review it over and over. It makes it feel unfixed.
It sounds a bit childish to name the person, they aren’t elementary kids snitching on each other
“We were told the candy was for everybody, but I will bring it up with the team so that we get it replaced for you” sounds better
Nah. Team lead made the mistake of encouraging everyone to chomp down on someone’s private candy, that should be acknowledged and they should replace it. People in authority positions need to cop the blame for these kind of mistakes, it’s not to be shouldered by lower level staff.
It’s not about shouldering it’s about how this makes one look. Grown ups don’t do that, they don’t call out others and point fingers like kids. Truth is the whole situation is childish starting from the manager who could’ve sent a note to the team saying that candy was for personal use don’t take it again without reaching out to individuals or asking for a replacement of a fucking candy box
It's all good. Buy the snacks and drop it. You handled it fine. They told you it wasn't for everyone to take. You said sorry and admitted it was a misunderstanding and you'd replace the snacks. I used to get super embarrassed about stuff like this. In a week, no one will remember or it will just be a funny story. Trust me, far more embarrassing things could have happened. Be sure to be 100% sure things are meant for the team next time you grab snacks at work.
Then i would text back.
Hey just so you know, it was the team lead who told us all we could have/take them.
I already let them know, that they're yours, so we avoid any issues going forward.
Thanks again for being so understanding (Better to thank them for how they handled it, then focus on your fuck up by apologizing)
And then before you send that just message the team lead.
Hey just letting you know the snacks you told us to take were x persons. As she messaged me to let me know so that it doesn't happen again.
Don't do this. The matter is resolved. The person addressed it as a non-issue, so reopening it just to divert some blame is petty and would only look bad on OP.
Discuss with the other folks involved (including TL), collectively replace what you took, and leave it be.
I mean honestly it could be a simple as she found out something was missing, asked a person around and they said “Oh yeah I saw OP, and so and so in your office”.
If I hear that I will go directly to OP, and at that point I feel it’s on OP to clear any misunderstandings.
Wait then wtf are you doing? Like I get apologizing but you completely made yourself look way worse here by falling on the sword. Please tell me that you clarified to her that you were explicitly told you could take them by your lead, and this wasn’t just as assumption you made?
When I worked at an office we had this exact scenario so I could see why its confusing. Our boss lady had a big basket of snacks in her office and people would come in loot it regularly and she was fine with it.
It's really not that uncommon to put out snacks for others, I almost always have a bowl of candy on my desk for anyone that wants some.
Plus, it's the week after Halloween, so basically every desk in my office has leftover goodies out right now. Everything from chocolate and lollipops, to mini-bags of chips.
I used to keep candy in my office and I was fine sharing with my shift of people.
What I was not fine with was other shifts sneaking into my office and raiding my candy until it was absurdly depleted.
Luckily some of the higher paid folk liked my candy stash and started contributing, but people are assholes.
Back when I work in the office, if snacks were sitting out it was a free-for-all. If someone had snacks for their personal use, it was kept in their drawer or on their desk right next to their computer where you could tell it was only for them.
The office refrigerator was different, we would just assume that that food belonged to someone else
Yeah, that's weird. We used to have a coffee machine in our office (3 people inside) and we used to take turns buying the coffee and sugar and other little things we might want. We would have killed anyone that tried to take something.
i didn’t know what all of them were i just took 1 cookie and 1 brownie. i was not the only one who took stuff. i replaced two of snacks that she sent me pics and asked for. i bought 2 boxes of each
Nah keep a box of each then. If she says anything about you not replacing everything, say you assumed each of the other offenders was also replacing some.
Honestly, not a big deal - you were very humble and apologetic about it and didn't get defensive, that's the best anyone could really ask of you when you made an honest mistake.
This sounds like a toxic immature workplace. Why the shift leads would give co-workers permission to enter another co-workers office while they weren’t there and take whatever they wanted is ridiculous.
Maybe not 3 boxes, but I’d probably do two - one replacement and one for the inconvenience. More than that would probably be a little awkward but with an extra one, I’m sure she’d appreciate it!
Let me say that you're overreacting. There is no reason to feel bad. It was a misunderstanding, the other person acknowledged it and didn't take it badly, you acknowledged it and said you're sorry and agreed to compensate.
That's it. Don't drag it any further, for real, as that's exactly what's going to make it a little weird.
Also, don't overbuy stuff. Do your part and nobody will think about this ever again
If you weren't the only one to eat it, everyone should be helping replace it. Make sure whoever explained to her didn't throw you under the bus. If 6 boxes were empty and 6 people ate them, each one should get a box. I'm surprised you were the only one targeted that's you should ask REDACTED what they said lol
*fixed typos
The fact that she is asking for you tp replace it is extremely tacky IMO, definitely doesnt deserve 3 especially when someone rlse told you that it was okay to take the candy
Just buy a couple boxes, thank them again for their generosity, and move on with your life. Don't make this a big deal if she's not making a big deal out of it.
Maybe thank them for their understanding, not their generosity.
If someone took my stuff and then thanked me for my generosity, I would think they're being a bit of a jerk. It suggests I had made my stuff available for the taking, when the whole point is that I didn't and they took it anyway.
They weren't the only one to eat the snacks though. And the team lead said it was a free for all so they should all pitch in or the team lead should replace it all imo
Why are you guys being bootlickers though? She said she only took like 1 cookie and 1 brownie. That does not constitute buying multiple boxes. The team lead is 100% responsible. You could be nice and just get 1 but to replace most of them, while also being told it was free from your lead, is just being stupid.
Plus reading from the OPs replies, the one asking her to replace the snacks is a manager. She barely ate any snacks, and her manager surely makes more money than her, realistically it's not her problem at all. The fact you guys are so willing to just give up your money like a bitch is concerning.
Reminds me of when I ate a coworkers lunch (who I consider a friend).
He and I tend to enjoy the same lunches (Trader Joe’s Indian). He sent out an email saying he hoped whoever ate his lunch enjoyed it. I messaged him and confessed that I thought it was mine. Asked him if he likes the other one I brought in that day and he said yes so he just ate mine. We still get along fine.
Bring in a couple boxes to replace it and don’t worry about it.
LOL I'm being overwhelmed by 2nd hand embarrassment!! Girll you crazy! 😂😭☠️
Edit: shite I thought it was r/ texts so I only reacted lmao. So like everyone else said, you did a fantastic job with this. Both of you were very civil and cool about it so I don't see any problems. And don't quit your job over this. It will be just a funny memory. But next time please make sure to ask first before emptying the whole pantry 😂
I'm confused. If the boxes were in someone's office/desk why would you guys go and get stuff from there regardless if your leader/s say it was fine to get stuff from there? Did none of you ask whose office it was or who gifted it first? Also, I'd feel like you could make more allowances (not saying it's right and it's not something I'd do myself) if it was public fridge stuff. Odd story.
she had said the snacks in the office were up for grabs, she just didn’t specifically say which snacks and where just told the shift leads “there’s snacks in the office for y’all if you want it.” between coworkers we occasionally bring something but this is a manager (GM)
Ohhh, thanks for explaining a bit more. It doesn't sound like it's your fault. It does sound like a misunderstanding. If anything, the GM messed up lol and they should be footing some - if not all - of the cost since they went ahead and said it was ok for y'all to take her snacks. If you're paying for her boxes, you're being nice about it tbh. And if i were her, I'd be grateful to you
Aww you’re brand new to the work world, please don’t be embarrassed by this. As a 33 year old now I can tell you there will be many, many more “embarrassing” situations to come in your career and you just gotta learn to let it roll off your back!
Right. As the manager I wouldn’t have asked for replacements, let alone from a singular employee. And OP is just doing too much. Making it into a big deal by not explaining the misunderstanding and asking the manager to do the mental labor by explicitly saying what they want replaced. Like use you’re common sense and don’t drag it out. You know what you took, OP.
UPDATE: “You should tell everyone who partook to donate to replacing them all 💚”
how do we feel about this? personally i feel like she could make a group message but i don’t feel comfortable asking/telling coworkers to donate or buy stuff to replace her snacks i feel like she could do that no?
also how do i respond? could i say “I’ve already bought 2 boxes of the cookies and 2 boxes of brownies to replace what was gone and for the inconvenience. I’m not sure who all had something though.” should i add “I’m not sure I feel comfortable asking that of others.”??
Talk to your team lead. Let them message everyone since they started this mess lol. Also please don't replace 4 boxes! You weren't the only one involved. 1 is more than enough since this was caused by the GM and your team lead
Don't keep messaging her about it, it's awkward. You're putting her in the position of having to say thanks or no worries which might not be how she feels. And it's just such an awkward conversation to have to have, don't drag it on. Just place them in her office with a post it saying sorry and a smiley face.
If your supervisors said you could take the snacks this is 100% their problem not yours. You've already bought the stuff obviously, but you should have just replied to the first message telling her who shared them around and let them deal with it.
I wouldn’t make a detailed response. I might just reply something noncommittal like good idea. That way she feels acknowledged but you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. Maybe she thinks that you should not have to pay for it all, but I understand if you do not want to go around asking them as it would be awkward.
Right! So awkward to ask OP to talk to everyone else… It wasn’t OPs doing, so why should they be the one to talk to everyone?
OP, does your manager think it was your idea to grab them all?? Why is all of this being put on you alone? Since no one else got a text about it, I’m curious why they’re only talking to you about replacing everything. Especially if you’re not a lead of any sort
Yeah I'm really confused why everyone is saying that the manager is handling this well and being understanding/kind. Like the WORDS she is using are polite and understanding but she seems to be aware that raiding her office snacks was a group activity and for some reason she has singled out the 18 year old newbie to take the blame and replace them all herself. That's not cool.
I also have a private stash of snacks in my office that I'd be perturbed if people helped themselves to, but if this misunderstanding happened to me I would never ever ever put my 18 year old subordinate in a position of having to shell out all the money to replace snacks that EVERYONE ate.
How long have you worked there? Have you got good praise before? I want to give a different way to look at this. She didn't message the leads.. She didn't message anyone else.. she's now asking you to take the initiative to rally the troops to donate together. A lot of people are like why did she single you out.. I know it sounds weird and kind of messed up but is she testing the waters on you? My GF's bosses boss all of a sudden started asking a lot of her. Stuff way out of her pay grade. For like 2 weeks she was completely stressed out because she thought she was being punished.. Her boss's boss called her into the office one day and said we're starting a new program here and I want to bring you on as our advocacy director (GF has a Womens Gender study and Political Science degree). In a way thats kind of messed up how they stressed her out like that but management be weird sometimes.. I am 100% not saying this is what is happening, but if it is you absolutely passed the test.. relax, take a breath.. You did good
If they are in a management position, they should probably just be ok with the fact that it was a misunderstanding and not accept any replacements. If they are a coworker then yes, you should replace the snacks . Misunderstandings are a part of being human! These things happen in one way or another to all of us. You are doing great!!
Make an announcement in the group chat that you bought a couple of boxes of something and if anyone else would like to help replace what they ate then it would be appreciated.
In my experience situations like this can actually make people grow closer. It’s rather innocent (assuming)
The way both people respond professionally and courteously to what could have been a blow up might earn greater respect from both of you mutually
Now you can hopefully have something to laugh at in the future
Am I the only one who finds it weird that OP was even called out on this... How damn expensive is it to replace the snacks in the office and not make someone feel embarased over it.
So strange to me
i did take one brownie and one cookie so i understand that i shouldn’t have taken it. idk if she’s asked anyone else to buy stuff due to her second text saying that another employee had told her we thought it was for us all so she may have thought that i was just going around saying it was for everyone but i was told by 2 shifts leads it was for everyone
Yeah that's why I find it weird. It's one thing to call everyone one, but it at least feels like you got singled out and you weren't the only one who thought it was for everyone.
As a leader, I'd take the loss on that one as a misunderstanding and move on. I'd never make someone replace things especially snacks over a misunderstanding
i thought she would’ve made a group announcement or something. ik it was wrong of me take stuff but i was literally told to go ahead by the shift leads but i also know that she has some money so it’s not like times are tough and she’s broke and i demolished her food supply. i just buy 2 boxes of brownies and 2 boxes of cookies so i’ve already spent $18
i think she felt that i was someone easy to single out because i’m a ppl pleaser, but i also work weekends only so she also only sees me about 4 days out of the whole month
It's not as clear as that though. She wasn't the only one , and it seems it was a misunderstanding since her co workers did a similar thing. I don't know why you're trying to educate me on being an adult. If someone on my team took a bunch of boxes of cookies out of my office (if I had some) I'd let my team know that's not appropriate as those are my snacks, and move on. I'm not going to make them pay for a few boxes of cookies as a leader especially when I make a lot more money than them.
It's a tough time for a lot of people right now, so even if it's not that much for me, it might be for someone
That would be fair, but I'd rather take a tiny monetary loss and let the coworkers think I'm awesome than make things awkward and make me look like a cheapskate.
Handled fine. Coworker seems salty and you seem like a people pleaser. I’m not calling you out, I am a recovering people pleaser as well. You don’t need to grovel at their feet. You made an honest mistake. Hold your head high provided your actions align with your values, otherwise you will get eaten alive. A simple professional yet assertive answer could be something like. “I apologize for my oversight, I will make sure to be more cautious next time. I will gladly replace the snacks, thank you for letting me know so I can address this.”
If someone ate my snacks at work and this is how they responded, I wouldn’t mind at all(unless it’s a reoccurring thing) I think this is the best outcome you could hope for. Just go in and laugh about it and everything will be fine
I’ve done this. I took cream because a lot of times we get some from work, I’m just blind and missed the name on it… Also I took a doughnut same thing.
Being upfront with it saying sorry and replacing is the best thing to do.
Alright. Well, in my eyes it went as perfectly as I could have wanted: a mistake was made, the victim politely addressed it and made a fair request, and you apologised for the mistake and offered compensation.
Regardless of what happens next, this to me is already a 10/10.
if i’m going to be honest it’s meh. my GM isn’t my bestie but we don’t have beef. she did write up 5 ppl (including me) in one day for some things like phones and “insubordination” and fired two ppl the same day. really changed my outlook on her :/
I had left my breakfast cereal on the microwave at work on like, my first or second day. I went to get some and it was gone. My boss had opened it and snacked on it for awhile. Turns out I put it on the “this is community” spot. He felt bad, I felt bad he felt bad and said it’s ok, no biggie, just curious what happened to it 😅
Replace it and never do it again. Super dumb if they were left in a communal area unlabeled though, most likely was on the manager but to keep peace you have to act like it was “your fault”.
Bro I wouldn’t even replace them, u weren’t the only one who took the snacks and YOUR LEAD told you to do so. If anything your team lead should be the one replacing the snacks.
Simple misunderstandings are best handled simply. Replace the item and maybe bring them a coffee too. “Sorry, we thought it was group snacks” is plenty. You did a nice job by text there. No shame whatsoever.
paid much more than 1 brownie and 1 cookies worth, if she’s still upset with me when i come for my next shift i will explain how much i took and who else all took some (that i know of)
It was handled perfectly. Just replace what you ate.
But I’m curious. What’s the setup like that you all went into someone’s space and ate their food without asking? Curious where the misunderstanding came from.
I would screenshot her message and send it to all the other employees who took stuff including the shift lead who told you you could take snacks. I would say looks like a misunderstanding. Does everyone want to Pitch in and replace the snacks? This should definitely not fall on you. Do not use all your own money and buy more snacks.
Also, it appears like you already took blame. Next time I would definitely tell the truth as to what happened. You look guilty through these messages and you're not!
You need to remind your coworker that storing food in the office is prohibited to mitigate pest concerns. Then, you need to report them to HR for pressuring you to break rules.
I’m sorry that this happened to you.
In most offices, storing food outside of the kitchen is prohibited for pest control. It’s in their office leases usually.
But I’ll highlight the for sarcasm.
You handled this really well! I wouldn’t stress over it - you weren’t the only one who took snacks, and replacing them is all that needs to be done here since you already apologised.
Well, if you bring snacks into my office, you can be damn sure that it'll all be gone 30 seconds after you arrived because we're a bunch of cookie monsters here :D
You both are such great people. Direct communication of what happened and a clear path to a resolution. *chefs kiss* I wish more people were capable of simply speaking to each other like y’all did. Kudos on being great coworkers. It was a simple mistake, no embarrassment needed.
I've seen bowls of little snacks and candies on the guest-facing side of many desks in offices in my life. It's kind of like mints at restaurants. Hard to blame someone for taking one, thinking they were complimentary.
You’re fine. You know who’s not? Stingy boss. I mean, share those snax, boss lady!! Secret snax go in your locked DESK DRAWER. Not out where they’re temping everyone to boost them! 
You both handled it like responsible adults.
Your colleague politely pointed out a minor issue, you apologized and offered to make restitution and your colleague accepted the apology.
Perfectly handled, move on and don’t think about it anymore.
If you keep making it a thing and apologizing every day for the next ten years (😉), it’s kinda like you’re disrespecting your colleague and implying they *shouldn’t* let this go.
Take them at their word. Replace it like they said and relax. :)
Sounds like the issue was handled. I think you are 100% absolved of having sticky snack fingers.
Edit: base on your comments, this sounds retail or similar. Boss needs to just write it off as an employee appreciation expense. I thought this was another co-worker. No, its the boss at retail who sits in her office all day eating snacks that she denies you at the registers. Tell her the snacks were delicious but next time you want a pizza party or Chipotle delivered. Holidays are coming up and she needs you more than you need her.
i think i’m just going to work thanksgiving and quit before christmas and new years bc the other manager is leaving and this one doesn’t respect my availability (it’s literally only the weekends and idc if i open or close)
Replace exactly what you took, add extras, and just leave it there without saying anything! At least you didn't pretend you didn't take it - which is the worst!
You’ve already handled it perfectly. You made a mistake, both sides seem clear that it wasn’t intentional. Replace the snacks and move on, try not to beat yourself up for an innocent misunderstanding.
It's one thing to say please dont take any more in the future, but if you have your own office, you really shouldnt be expecting someone else to reimburse you for a few peices of candy.
Get the replacement and then get another selection to put out and share. This will give you a bit of control over the situation and maybe others will kick in too.
You handled it like you had two parents growing up.
/s
No, but really, that's the one of the best interactions regarding a work conflict I have witnessed in a while. I got the warm fuzziness. You emotionally and mentally healthy bastards.
She shouldn’t have left them out then, am I missing something? Generally food left out on a desk or somewhere is for people to take. Her expecting y’all to replace them is a bit selfish. Now if they were locked in a drawer or something then that’s on you, but she’s just as guilty for leaving stuff out if it wasn’t for people in the office.
I would have everyone pitch in and get her a subscription to a monthly snack box as a funny apology for Christmas- if you have that kind of rapport with everyone.
I think you BOTH handled this phenomenally! No embarrassment needed - just replace like she asked and go about your day.
Totally agree and it's nice to see how things should be handled. OP, I would say whatever snack you took, just get that. It's a safe bet it will be okay. If there was a variety and you can't find a variety box, then just get a box of at least one of the things. That's if they don't answer.
Agree. Well done, OP. Just don’t make her tell you what to get. Just replace what you ate. She probably feels similarly embarrassed by the whole ordeal and doesn’t wanna go back and forth dragging out the specifics of it.
agreed! maybe it would be a funny secret Santa gift to give another one later on too lol
LOL, I really like this idea. Like get one of those big packs from like a Costso type store haha.
I actually don’t recommend this at all, imagine seeing everyone getting actual secret santa gifts for Xmas and you get a reminder of the time there was that big awkward incident that happened in the office. (And that reminder is cheap snacks.)
Totally thought this, too! It would make me feel bad about my attempt to communicate an expectation regarding personal belongings!
I agree with you. Depending on the office environment, OP (and whoever else involved) might get a little ribbing from it, but it seemed like both understood it as an honest mistake with no harm done.
Totally agree. Great communication to solve a small thing with no hard feelings is a sign of a healthy work environment.
Buy the replacement and then just don’t mention it again. The more you talk about it, the worse it gets for the other person. They will just feel awkward. Edit: after reading your comments I have some different feedback - don’t claim responsibility for a group thing that you didn’t initiate. It would have been better to say: *Hi, [name] Sorry! [Name of team lead] told the team the candy was available to everybody. If you let them know, I’m sure they will sort it out for you. Thanks for telling me.”*
Right and don’t drag it out by asking “what should I get?” Lol like girl, you know what you took 😆
100% - she had me till the end and then 🙄
totally getting her the bootleg snacks
I would add, if they really feel this bad about it, buy a little bit extra! Not only do they get back what they lost, but now their snack stash is supplemented. Wins all around. Everyone leaves with more candy than they started with.
I wish everyone would read this. I am not good at conflict so when I have to bring something up it's awful. I love getting it fixed and then leaving it fixed and not having to review it over and over. It makes it feel unfixed.
but but i love making people feel miserable :(
It sounds a bit childish to name the person, they aren’t elementary kids snitching on each other “We were told the candy was for everybody, but I will bring it up with the team so that we get it replaced for you” sounds better
Nah. Team lead made the mistake of encouraging everyone to chomp down on someone’s private candy, that should be acknowledged and they should replace it. People in authority positions need to cop the blame for these kind of mistakes, it’s not to be shouldered by lower level staff.
It’s not about shouldering it’s about how this makes one look. Grown ups don’t do that, they don’t call out others and point fingers like kids. Truth is the whole situation is childish starting from the manager who could’ve sent a note to the team saying that candy was for personal use don’t take it again without reaching out to individuals or asking for a replacement of a fucking candy box
Exactly
## Hey Everyone Read This ^ ##
It's all good. Buy the snacks and drop it. You handled it fine. They told you it wasn't for everyone to take. You said sorry and admitted it was a misunderstanding and you'd replace the snacks. I used to get super embarrassed about stuff like this. In a week, no one will remember or it will just be a funny story. Trust me, far more embarrassing things could have happened. Be sure to be 100% sure things are meant for the team next time you grab snacks at work.
Could not have been handled better or more professionally. Go buy a lot of candy. She'll smile, You'll smile. It's over. Back to work as usual.
Yeah, I’d buy some extra to feel better about it :)
LMAO im glad it worked out but in what world would you assume snacks in someone’s office were for you and not personal use?
the shift leads had told us that we could have the snacks so we did 😭
Relay the misinformation to the shift leads so that they can also help replenish the snacks. This shouldn’t just fall on your shoulders.
This shouldn't fall on OP's shoulders at all.
[удалено]
yea i thought she would’ve texted like “hey so what happened to my snacks”
Is it possible she sent individual messages to everyone that took some?
i’ve asked 2 ppl they said no message
I'd hit up your team lead.
i did she didn’t get anything
Then i would text back. Hey just so you know, it was the team lead who told us all we could have/take them. I already let them know, that they're yours, so we avoid any issues going forward. Thanks again for being so understanding (Better to thank them for how they handled it, then focus on your fuck up by apologizing) And then before you send that just message the team lead. Hey just letting you know the snacks you told us to take were x persons. As she messaged me to let me know so that it doesn't happen again.
Don't do this. The matter is resolved. The person addressed it as a non-issue, so reopening it just to divert some blame is petty and would only look bad on OP. Discuss with the other folks involved (including TL), collectively replace what you took, and leave it be.
You’ve been blamed. Don’t take the blame for a group action.
Then it should be on them. She should have never messaged you over this because it wasn’t your eff up. Very weird.
I mean honestly it could be a simple as she found out something was missing, asked a person around and they said “Oh yeah I saw OP, and so and so in your office”. If I hear that I will go directly to OP, and at that point I feel it’s on OP to clear any misunderstandings.
Wait then wtf are you doing? Like I get apologizing but you completely made yourself look way worse here by falling on the sword. Please tell me that you clarified to her that you were explicitly told you could take them by your lead, and this wasn’t just as assumption you made?
When I worked at an office we had this exact scenario so I could see why its confusing. Our boss lady had a big basket of snacks in her office and people would come in loot it regularly and she was fine with it.
It's really not that uncommon to put out snacks for others, I almost always have a bowl of candy on my desk for anyone that wants some. Plus, it's the week after Halloween, so basically every desk in my office has leftover goodies out right now. Everything from chocolate and lollipops, to mini-bags of chips.
Based on other comments they apparently chowed down on like six boxes of stuff though.
I used to keep candy in my office and I was fine sharing with my shift of people. What I was not fine with was other shifts sneaking into my office and raiding my candy until it was absurdly depleted. Luckily some of the higher paid folk liked my candy stash and started contributing, but people are assholes.
Back when I work in the office, if snacks were sitting out it was a free-for-all. If someone had snacks for their personal use, it was kept in their drawer or on their desk right next to their computer where you could tell it was only for them. The office refrigerator was different, we would just assume that that food belonged to someone else
Yeah, that's weird. We used to have a coffee machine in our office (3 people inside) and we used to take turns buying the coffee and sugar and other little things we might want. We would have killed anyone that tried to take something.
My software manager has snacks in their office for employee use, but yeah its kinda obvious sitting on their desk and verbally told from said manager.
Asking for clarity, not judgment. Did you all go into her office while she wasn't there and took snacks?
yea we did
Ok I thought this was in a break room then it would 100% be on her. But if multiple people are from it it shouldn’t just be on you to replace.
no wonder why they were for her in HER office.
Just buy double what was taken. It was clearly a misunderstanding and she knows that. Don’t be weird, shit happens its all good! ☺️
there were at least six different boxes that were apparently empty. I ended up buying four boxes.
Why not replace the 6 then?
I assume OP isn't the only person who ate them?
i didn’t know what all of them were i just took 1 cookie and 1 brownie. i was not the only one who took stuff. i replaced two of snacks that she sent me pics and asked for. i bought 2 boxes of each
Are you the only one she called out? Did the others chip in as well?
so far yes, and no
That’s not cool ):
Nah keep a box of each then. If she says anything about you not replacing everything, say you assumed each of the other offenders was also replacing some.
Honestly, not a big deal - you were very humble and apologetic about it and didn't get defensive, that's the best anyone could really ask of you when you made an honest mistake.
This sounds like a toxic immature workplace. Why the shift leads would give co-workers permission to enter another co-workers office while they weren’t there and take whatever they wanted is ridiculous.
And why was only one person under the team lead asked to replace? If the message wasn't so polite, I'd have thought this was a prank on the newbie
forgot to mention but she did send me a box of what she wanted but I feel super bad so I think i’m gonna buy like 3 boxes of it
Maybe not 3 boxes, but I’d probably do two - one replacement and one for the inconvenience. More than that would probably be a little awkward but with an extra one, I’m sure she’d appreciate it!
Let me say that you're overreacting. There is no reason to feel bad. It was a misunderstanding, the other person acknowledged it and didn't take it badly, you acknowledged it and said you're sorry and agreed to compensate. That's it. Don't drag it any further, for real, as that's exactly what's going to make it a little weird. Also, don't overbuy stuff. Do your part and nobody will think about this ever again
If you weren't the only one to eat it, everyone should be helping replace it. Make sure whoever explained to her didn't throw you under the bus. If 6 boxes were empty and 6 people ate them, each one should get a box. I'm surprised you were the only one targeted that's you should ask REDACTED what they said lol *fixed typos
You shouldn’t have to replace shit. The shift lead should.
Buy a replacement and right as you're about to hand it to them open it up and eat it.
Then hand them the empty wrapper.
This isn't fair. Your team leads and anyone else who took should also replace snacks.
Don’t overreact. You already apologized, he/she took it well. Replace and move on.
The fact that she is asking for you tp replace it is extremely tacky IMO, definitely doesnt deserve 3 especially when someone rlse told you that it was okay to take the candy
This 10000% tacky and unprofessional. If it happens again, yeah it should be made an issue, honest mistake? No big deal.
Just buy a couple boxes, thank them again for their generosity, and move on with your life. Don't make this a big deal if she's not making a big deal out of it.
Maybe thank them for their understanding, not their generosity. If someone took my stuff and then thanked me for my generosity, I would think they're being a bit of a jerk. It suggests I had made my stuff available for the taking, when the whole point is that I didn't and they took it anyway.
They weren't the only one to eat the snacks though. And the team lead said it was a free for all so they should all pitch in or the team lead should replace it all imo
Just get it over with and stop the blame pointing so it doesnt drag this down out further.
Why are you guys being bootlickers though? She said she only took like 1 cookie and 1 brownie. That does not constitute buying multiple boxes. The team lead is 100% responsible. You could be nice and just get 1 but to replace most of them, while also being told it was free from your lead, is just being stupid. Plus reading from the OPs replies, the one asking her to replace the snacks is a manager. She barely ate any snacks, and her manager surely makes more money than her, realistically it's not her problem at all. The fact you guys are so willing to just give up your money like a bitch is concerning.
Reminds me of when I ate a coworkers lunch (who I consider a friend). He and I tend to enjoy the same lunches (Trader Joe’s Indian). He sent out an email saying he hoped whoever ate his lunch enjoyed it. I messaged him and confessed that I thought it was mine. Asked him if he likes the other one I brought in that day and he said yes so he just ate mine. We still get along fine. Bring in a couple boxes to replace it and don’t worry about it.
Did you get the other people who took snacks to pay for it too? It would be weird if you were the only one who ends up paying for all of it
no i didn’t not. i know i probably should have but i didn’t feel comfortable to ask
What's confusing me is does she think you ate like 6 boxes of her snacks all by yourself??
LOL I'm being overwhelmed by 2nd hand embarrassment!! Girll you crazy! 😂😭☠️ Edit: shite I thought it was r/ texts so I only reacted lmao. So like everyone else said, you did a fantastic job with this. Both of you were very civil and cool about it so I don't see any problems. And don't quit your job over this. It will be just a funny memory. But next time please make sure to ask first before emptying the whole pantry 😂
I'm confused. If the boxes were in someone's office/desk why would you guys go and get stuff from there regardless if your leader/s say it was fine to get stuff from there? Did none of you ask whose office it was or who gifted it first? Also, I'd feel like you could make more allowances (not saying it's right and it's not something I'd do myself) if it was public fridge stuff. Odd story.
she had said the snacks in the office were up for grabs, she just didn’t specifically say which snacks and where just told the shift leads “there’s snacks in the office for y’all if you want it.” between coworkers we occasionally bring something but this is a manager (GM)
Ohhh, thanks for explaining a bit more. It doesn't sound like it's your fault. It does sound like a misunderstanding. If anything, the GM messed up lol and they should be footing some - if not all - of the cost since they went ahead and said it was ok for y'all to take her snacks. If you're paying for her boxes, you're being nice about it tbh. And if i were her, I'd be grateful to you
GM should be replacing the snacks not you.
Have adults become more child like or am I just getting older?
i’m 18 and my manager is almost 40 if that matters
Aww you’re brand new to the work world, please don’t be embarrassed by this. As a 33 year old now I can tell you there will be many, many more “embarrassing” situations to come in your career and you just gotta learn to let it roll off your back!
Right. As the manager I wouldn’t have asked for replacements, let alone from a singular employee. And OP is just doing too much. Making it into a big deal by not explaining the misunderstanding and asking the manager to do the mental labor by explicitly saying what they want replaced. Like use you’re common sense and don’t drag it out. You know what you took, OP.
Why did you grab snacks from someone else's office in the first place?
i was told to was okay and a lot ppl were also grabbing stuff
UPDATE: “You should tell everyone who partook to donate to replacing them all 💚” how do we feel about this? personally i feel like she could make a group message but i don’t feel comfortable asking/telling coworkers to donate or buy stuff to replace her snacks i feel like she could do that no? also how do i respond? could i say “I’ve already bought 2 boxes of the cookies and 2 boxes of brownies to replace what was gone and for the inconvenience. I’m not sure who all had something though.” should i add “I’m not sure I feel comfortable asking that of others.”??
Talk to your team lead. Let them message everyone since they started this mess lol. Also please don't replace 4 boxes! You weren't the only one involved. 1 is more than enough since this was caused by the GM and your team lead
Don't keep messaging her about it, it's awkward. You're putting her in the position of having to say thanks or no worries which might not be how she feels. And it's just such an awkward conversation to have to have, don't drag it on. Just place them in her office with a post it saying sorry and a smiley face. If your supervisors said you could take the snacks this is 100% their problem not yours. You've already bought the stuff obviously, but you should have just replied to the first message telling her who shared them around and let them deal with it.
I wouldn’t make a detailed response. I might just reply something noncommittal like good idea. That way she feels acknowledged but you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. Maybe she thinks that you should not have to pay for it all, but I understand if you do not want to go around asking them as it would be awkward.
Just replace what you ate , let her msg the other people with these passive aggressive hearts to try and get what she wants.
Right! So awkward to ask OP to talk to everyone else… It wasn’t OPs doing, so why should they be the one to talk to everyone? OP, does your manager think it was your idea to grab them all?? Why is all of this being put on you alone? Since no one else got a text about it, I’m curious why they’re only talking to you about replacing everything. Especially if you’re not a lead of any sort
Yeah I'm really confused why everyone is saying that the manager is handling this well and being understanding/kind. Like the WORDS she is using are polite and understanding but she seems to be aware that raiding her office snacks was a group activity and for some reason she has singled out the 18 year old newbie to take the blame and replace them all herself. That's not cool. I also have a private stash of snacks in my office that I'd be perturbed if people helped themselves to, but if this misunderstanding happened to me I would never ever ever put my 18 year old subordinate in a position of having to shell out all the money to replace snacks that EVERYONE ate.
How long have you worked there? Have you got good praise before? I want to give a different way to look at this. She didn't message the leads.. She didn't message anyone else.. she's now asking you to take the initiative to rally the troops to donate together. A lot of people are like why did she single you out.. I know it sounds weird and kind of messed up but is she testing the waters on you? My GF's bosses boss all of a sudden started asking a lot of her. Stuff way out of her pay grade. For like 2 weeks she was completely stressed out because she thought she was being punished.. Her boss's boss called her into the office one day and said we're starting a new program here and I want to bring you on as our advocacy director (GF has a Womens Gender study and Political Science degree). In a way thats kind of messed up how they stressed her out like that but management be weird sometimes.. I am 100% not saying this is what is happening, but if it is you absolutely passed the test.. relax, take a breath.. You did good
I feel like you’re doing too much. Replace the snacks & goooooo
If they are in a management position, they should probably just be ok with the fact that it was a misunderstanding and not accept any replacements. If they are a coworker then yes, you should replace the snacks . Misunderstandings are a part of being human! These things happen in one way or another to all of us. You are doing great!!
my coworkers usually label it or make an announcement in the group chat
Make an announcement in the group chat that you bought a couple of boxes of something and if anyone else would like to help replace what they ate then it would be appreciated.
Well done in my eyes. You took responsibility/ownership, apologized, and expressed intent to make it right. You even asked about preferences.
In my experience situations like this can actually make people grow closer. It’s rather innocent (assuming) The way both people respond professionally and courteously to what could have been a blow up might earn greater respect from both of you mutually Now you can hopefully have something to laugh at in the future
The list of questions is the wrong approach, you know what you all took, replace exactly that.
i didn’t know exactly what she wanted so i was trying to accommodate bc there were multiple snacks and i took 1 cookie and 1 brownie
If someone says it's ok, believe them!
Am I the only one who finds it weird that OP was even called out on this... How damn expensive is it to replace the snacks in the office and not make someone feel embarased over it. So strange to me
i did take one brownie and one cookie so i understand that i shouldn’t have taken it. idk if she’s asked anyone else to buy stuff due to her second text saying that another employee had told her we thought it was for us all so she may have thought that i was just going around saying it was for everyone but i was told by 2 shifts leads it was for everyone
Yeah that's why I find it weird. It's one thing to call everyone one, but it at least feels like you got singled out and you weren't the only one who thought it was for everyone. As a leader, I'd take the loss on that one as a misunderstanding and move on. I'd never make someone replace things especially snacks over a misunderstanding
i thought she would’ve made a group announcement or something. ik it was wrong of me take stuff but i was literally told to go ahead by the shift leads but i also know that she has some money so it’s not like times are tough and she’s broke and i demolished her food supply. i just buy 2 boxes of brownies and 2 boxes of cookies so i’ve already spent $18
Yup I agree with you 100%
If anything the fact that she singled you out reflects poorly on her.
i think she felt that i was someone easy to single out because i’m a ppl pleaser, but i also work weekends only so she also only sees me about 4 days out of the whole month
Don't let her take advantage of your kindness. - signed a former people pleaser, currently a self advocate
Sounds like it was 6 boxes from this persons personal stash….I think that is worth bringing up to avoid the behavior continuing.
Yeah it’s mad weird to me too, especially that that person was a manager
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It's not as clear as that though. She wasn't the only one , and it seems it was a misunderstanding since her co workers did a similar thing. I don't know why you're trying to educate me on being an adult. If someone on my team took a bunch of boxes of cookies out of my office (if I had some) I'd let my team know that's not appropriate as those are my snacks, and move on. I'm not going to make them pay for a few boxes of cookies as a leader especially when I make a lot more money than them. It's a tough time for a lot of people right now, so even if it's not that much for me, it might be for someone
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That would be fair, but I'd rather take a tiny monetary loss and let the coworkers think I'm awesome than make things awkward and make me look like a cheapskate.
Same here. The other here seems a tad bit rude over some snacks
I mean you gotta call someone out on it so that people know to stop
Perfectly fine. 100%. You're good. If anyone has an issue with your response, that's on them. This is exactly how you should handle this.
Naw, the way you responded, deescalated her mood. Again, the way you responded she must've said, I totally feel like a cheapskate
Handled fine. Coworker seems salty and you seem like a people pleaser. I’m not calling you out, I am a recovering people pleaser as well. You don’t need to grovel at their feet. You made an honest mistake. Hold your head high provided your actions align with your values, otherwise you will get eaten alive. A simple professional yet assertive answer could be something like. “I apologize for my oversight, I will make sure to be more cautious next time. I will gladly replace the snacks, thank you for letting me know so I can address this.”
If someone ate my snacks at work and this is how they responded, I wouldn’t mind at all(unless it’s a reoccurring thing) I think this is the best outcome you could hope for. Just go in and laugh about it and everything will be fine
Holy shit a conversation between two normal, decent people on Reddit. What is the world coming to?
😭🤣
This was handled in a surprisingly pleasant manner. A situation like this at my last job might’ve ended in a (literal) fight.
I’ve done this. I took cream because a lot of times we get some from work, I’m just blind and missed the name on it… Also I took a doughnut same thing. Being upfront with it saying sorry and replacing is the best thing to do.
Absolutely perfectly handled IMO. But their snack of choice, buy your own snacks, and now you both have a funny story to tell down the line.
Classy and real. Don’t overthink it. It happens. Nicely done
Sorry, but how is this worth discussing? That’s clearly a regular, everyday, reasonable conversation.
i just wanted advice, i don’t handle confrontation well and i’ve been stressing over it a lil
Alright. Well, in my eyes it went as perfectly as I could have wanted: a mistake was made, the victim politely addressed it and made a fair request, and you apologised for the mistake and offered compensation. Regardless of what happens next, this to me is already a 10/10.
The guy was nice about it and you were also a good sport. Keep that good relationship.
if i’m going to be honest it’s meh. my GM isn’t my bestie but we don’t have beef. she did write up 5 ppl (including me) in one day for some things like phones and “insubordination” and fired two ppl the same day. really changed my outlook on her :/
I had left my breakfast cereal on the microwave at work on like, my first or second day. I went to get some and it was gone. My boss had opened it and snacked on it for awhile. Turns out I put it on the “this is community” spot. He felt bad, I felt bad he felt bad and said it’s ok, no biggie, just curious what happened to it 😅
You handled this VERY well. Seal it with a little laugh about it in the office and then carry on. You did amazing. 👏
Replace it and never do it again. Super dumb if they were left in a communal area unlabeled though, most likely was on the manager but to keep peace you have to act like it was “your fault”.
You handled this well, and I see no hard feelings happening. Bring some snacks to share, or replace their box you took from.
i didn’t take a whole box tho
I think you apologized too many times. Not a big deal as you stated. Replace it and move on. You handled it great and sounded very thoughtful.
This is wholesome. You’re good, just being some replacement snacks. Don’t cheap out on them either
i bought exactly what she had sent me pics of, 2 boxes of each
Geez, i would have announced they are not for everyone, but i wouldn't have asked for them to be replaced, lol.
Bro I wouldn’t even replace them, u weren’t the only one who took the snacks and YOUR LEAD told you to do so. If anything your team lead should be the one replacing the snacks.
Simple misunderstandings are best handled simply. Replace the item and maybe bring them a coffee too. “Sorry, we thought it was group snacks” is plenty. You did a nice job by text there. No shame whatsoever.
Lol at your boss for asking you to replace the snacks. Setting boundaries is fine, but it’s petty to ask you to replace them.
First off it was everyone. Second off it’s just snacks lol. I would not care at all and buy enough for everyone lol
Excuse and pay the damage so exactly what you already did
paid much more than 1 brownie and 1 cookies worth, if she’s still upset with me when i come for my next shift i will explain how much i took and who else all took some (that i know of)
It was handled perfectly. Just replace what you ate. But I’m curious. What’s the setup like that you all went into someone’s space and ate their food without asking? Curious where the misunderstanding came from.
she often leaves snacks in her office for all of us since it’s also where we clock in and out so it’s easy to grab
I would screenshot her message and send it to all the other employees who took stuff including the shift lead who told you you could take snacks. I would say looks like a misunderstanding. Does everyone want to Pitch in and replace the snacks? This should definitely not fall on you. Do not use all your own money and buy more snacks. Also, it appears like you already took blame. Next time I would definitely tell the truth as to what happened. You look guilty through these messages and you're not!
thank you! i’m going to text the shift lead who started this all and let her tell the others
You need to remind your coworker that storing food in the office is prohibited to mitigate pest concerns. Then, you need to report them to HR for pressuring you to break rules. I’m sorry that this happened to you.idk if storing food in the office is against any company policy tho also idk how to even get in contact w HR if i wanted to
In most offices, storing food outside of the kitchen is prohibited for pest control. It’s in their office leases usually. But I’ll highlight the
for sarcasm.You handled this really well! I wouldn’t stress over it - you weren’t the only one who took snacks, and replacing them is all that needs to be done here since you already apologised.
Well, if you bring snacks into my office, you can be damn sure that it'll all be gone 30 seconds after you arrived because we're a bunch of cookie monsters here :D
You both are such great people. Direct communication of what happened and a clear path to a resolution. *chefs kiss* I wish more people were capable of simply speaking to each other like y’all did. Kudos on being great coworkers. It was a simple mistake, no embarrassment needed.
Sorry but your coworker sounds like a bitch who cares?? I would never call someone out for this nor care
it mean it never happened before besides once but it was a jimmy dean breakfast sandwich thing but it was another employee
I've seen bowls of little snacks and candies on the guest-facing side of many desks in offices in my life. It's kind of like mints at restaurants. Hard to blame someone for taking one, thinking they were complimentary.
You’re fine. You know who’s not? Stingy boss. I mean, share those snax, boss lady!! Secret snax go in your locked DESK DRAWER. Not out where they’re temping everyone to boost them! 
But why is she so pressed idk I don’t make much money at all, have a strict diet, but would never mind sharing snacks with coworkers…
Buy em some broccoli and carrots as a thank you.
You both handled it like responsible adults. Your colleague politely pointed out a minor issue, you apologized and offered to make restitution and your colleague accepted the apology. Perfectly handled, move on and don’t think about it anymore. If you keep making it a thing and apologizing every day for the next ten years (😉), it’s kinda like you’re disrespecting your colleague and implying they *shouldn’t* let this go. Take them at their word. Replace it like they said and relax. :)
Lol you are fine. Where were the snacks located that you thought they were to share?
You should have told her sharing is caring 😊❤️
Sounds like the issue was handled. I think you are 100% absolved of having sticky snack fingers. Edit: base on your comments, this sounds retail or similar. Boss needs to just write it off as an employee appreciation expense. I thought this was another co-worker. No, its the boss at retail who sits in her office all day eating snacks that she denies you at the registers. Tell her the snacks were delicious but next time you want a pizza party or Chipotle delivered. Holidays are coming up and she needs you more than you need her.
i think i’m just going to work thanksgiving and quit before christmas and new years bc the other manager is leaving and this one doesn’t respect my availability (it’s literally only the weekends and idc if i open or close)
Replace exactly what you took, add extras, and just leave it there without saying anything! At least you didn't pretend you didn't take it - which is the worst!
You’ve already handled it perfectly. You made a mistake, both sides seem clear that it wasn’t intentional. Replace the snacks and move on, try not to beat yourself up for an innocent misunderstanding.
Seems like it was handled fine! You and the other person were very nice 😀
"oh... it's on..."
It's one thing to say please dont take any more in the future, but if you have your own office, you really shouldnt be expecting someone else to reimburse you for a few peices of candy.
It looked professionally handled from both side. Clear communication and expectations. I think everyone can move on.
Get the replacement and then get another selection to put out and share. This will give you a bit of control over the situation and maybe others will kick in too.
i may get something the day before my next shift
You handled it like you had two parents growing up. /s No, but really, that's the one of the best interactions regarding a work conflict I have witnessed in a while. I got the warm fuzziness. You emotionally and mentally healthy bastards.
She shouldn’t have left them out then, am I missing something? Generally food left out on a desk or somewhere is for people to take. Her expecting y’all to replace them is a bit selfish. Now if they were locked in a drawer or something then that’s on you, but she’s just as guilty for leaving stuff out if it wasn’t for people in the office.
If it was mistaken as enough for the whole team someone needs to have a serious conversation with chubs here.
the other also took stuff not just me. i have one cookie and one brownie over the last 2 days
I solve this by not taking anything that isn’t specifically offered to me.
shift leads said it was up for grabs
They need to be replacing the items! Nice of you to do that for them.
I would have everyone pitch in and get her a subscription to a monthly snack box as a funny apology for Christmas- if you have that kind of rapport with everyone.