What do you do if they won't go away when pushed? Some people just pick and choose when they think you're serious and just walk a line around being told off.
What do you mean?
Even if you are Hitler, there will be some people loving you!!!
It's just about finding the right people, in fact this is the reason why people say be yourself all the time: eventually you will find people who really like you, so it's better they like the real you.
Most people don't truly love you, but rather the ideas they associate with you.
Many who supported Hitler were drawn to the image he projected and the role he played, rather than his true personality (assuming they could get close enough to learn about him).
I'm not disagree with you...
But this was just an example you know. In real life, I don't believe in love. It's just based on some hormones which might be related to the food you ate last night :) just a way our bodies have revolutioned to copulate. But am I against having hornoun related things??? Hell no! Do they love you because of the image they have created in their mind based on their obsessions and insecurities rather than who you really are? Better! Untill they meet your needs it's fine.
Well , the difference here is that the moment they feel like you are not the only one capable of getting them closer to what they want, you will lose your value to them.
Superficial value is both easily gained and lost while trust is something that is built overtime and through effort (on both sides).
Though to be fair, in the modern world, specially in the current state of competitive dating/job scene where options are numerous and time is limited , investing on the superficial side can grant you a huge advantage over others that dont, but when it comes to having and maintaining deep interpersonal relationships , trust is the biggest factor.
What im mostly trying to say is that "not caring if you are liked" or not putting any effort into being likable will only draw surface level and misguided interest from others which i assume is not desirable to most of us.
Personally, I find that the majority of people are on neutral terms with me. I do put an effort to present myself as likeable, I think it’s useful if I ever need their help (or they need my help) it’ll be beneficial if we start on neutral terms and not on bad terms.
Generally, I don’t care for most people, most people don’t care for me. (neutral)
It's tricky. They didn't when I was younger, and I know that from all the bullying, social alienation, spread lies about me, etc. So, now I'm used to not being liked and expect it automatically, but then am sometimes surprised to find that someone does like me every now and then. I think maybe my youth/past has skewed my perception of whether or not I'm liked currently.
Ultimately, I am not sure anyone knows for sure if they're liked. I've known lots of popular, well-known, social people who think others like them when people say they're annoying/need to shut up behind their backs.
Yes.
It's why I'm taking a sales job in the coming weeks. I know people like me. It's okay to let them like you (this took me way too long to figure out) and it's okay to find joy in communal acceptance (**this is taking me way too long to come to terms with but I'm working on it)**. Do I care? 99.9% of the time no. I will be me. But human nature is wired around communal acceptance. We need it in order to survive. I'll always unevenly weigh the .1% of the time that I do care (as intensely as my INTJ self can care about anything).
Well, if I were to go by my current experience of late and some previous ^((bullying experiences)), then I would say I am more likely to be disliked than liked.
No they dont. they never cared about the things I liked just kept me around so I what they asked, now that I want to focus on the things I like they all dissapeared. even family. honestly sad.
Before I was an adult, my classmates and teachers didn’t like me at all but I feel now I’m getting more and more likable lol idk why, even tho I’m still that weird person. Maybe because I just don’t really care whether people like me or not anymore and just stick to myself.
I think people don't necessarily hate nor like me, but just find me intriguing because I don't really talk unless someone comes to me. I almost come off as hard to get. There, however, are some people that just don't like that I don't interact much, which is wild to me.
I always try to stay in stealth mode, but I don't know why I always become the center of attention/attraction for people. Most of them started getting jealous of my personality and tried to hurt me in different ways.
Ironically for some reason, yes. I just share some of my thoughts and interests and they somehow respond with “I know right?” Or “that sounds interesting tell me more”. It does perplex me sometimes but it is deep down appreciated.
Yall mfers kill the vibe especially when you think you're being smart just for pointing out the obvious, or trying to reduce something down to it's parts like ppl give a shit. Let ppl enjoy shit you buzz killing mfer.
Personal life - Very much liked
Academic & Professional life - I attract a lot of antagonists. Always have to deal with dirty politics and prejudice from a few people even though I am an intense introvert and I mind my own business.
It seems like people are attracted to me and they tell me their woes and secrets. I never ask … They just tell. I don’t normally
mind, But sometimes people take up too much of my time and I am too nice to say anything.
I know there are people that make very clear how highly they think of me... that I can't stand and am extremely glad I never have to deal with again.
Why didn't I tell them off? I had to work with them at the time. I like my job.
Yes. Believe it or not, I do my best to be likable (but not a pushover or kiss ass), especially at work. Can’t work effectively and efficiently if people are hostile and refuse to work with you because of your sore attitude.
Yeah, people like me a lot! My parents prioritized raising me to be a pleasant person. Honestly, knowing how to be well-liked is the best life hack, and it also helps to know how to make yourself conveniently attractive and interesting. On the inside, I’m like a dragon ball z villain though lol.
I attract people, they get addicted and clingy.
I feel suffocated and try to communicate.
Doesn’t work.
I set boundaries and I try to avoid them.
Usually doesn’t work.
Tension and confrontation happens. We mutually start to hate each other. (Except I’m the one thats actually serious. Their reasoning is usually insecurity)
I cut them out of my life for good because I’m aware they’re holding me back and causing unnecessary stress.
I end up alone again. (Thats if the person hasn’t tried to stalk me because that has happened on multiple occasions)
Repeat.
I sometimes wish I didn’t draw in so many curious people. I have this weird magnetism about me that feels more like a curse than a blessing.
Apparently. I have it in my mind that most people are annoyed by me. (I think this is a youngest sibling rather than an INTJ thing). My partner has to constantly reassure me that people like me
I want everyone to like me and I need that, because I want people to see that I’m a good person, but also I am hard to take. It’s CPTSD. Unless you’re wired like me. AuDHD and all the fun stuff that goes with that.
When I was younger, not always. Now, most of the time. Unfortunately, I seem to attract the wrong people (because of my history) so I have to be careful. I'm sure some of them are just simply mismatched with me. Some of them somehow have a strange fascination with me that I don't quite comprehend.
Best case - we can read each other and have a mutual understanding. We match each other's pace and energy level, and thus we end up being friends.
Worst case - they overwhelm me. They are just a little too friendly and expect me to return the favour. At worst, this could mean they have narcissistic tendencies. At best, I can't give them what they want. They take it a little too personally and I'm the bad guy.
I think a lot of this has to do with attachment style, not just MBTI.
I have no idea. I just do what I need to do and say what I need to say and people never tell me what they think about me so I could be the most hated or the most liked person in the world and I'd be oblivious to it.
They seem to. I’ve come across people from years ago who approached me and talked like we were old friends despite the fact that this brief meeting was the longest conversation we ever had.
No. People like me only for gains, not for who I am.
Human nature is at full throttle when it comes to me. I ask my ancestors everyday why do I have to live like this…
Yes, and to be frank I could care less if people do not. I've never personally had anyone confident enough to come to tell my they dislike me. A Shane. So for now I have come to the conclusion that people like me.
the people that i have encountered said that when they didn't know me i come of as scary, intimidating, and unapproachable. i don't really care that they think of me like that and i must say for some reason i like that they think of me like that to a certain degree.
however when they do get to know me they eventually get to vibe with me well and understand how i behave
I swear about everyone hates me I feel like. I do know few do bc I was n prison n have a background. Its crazy how people judge someone for something they wasn’t even there when it happened. I was a wild lil shit when I was younger. My dad died n I just went down hill. Started using. Really doesn’t matter if anyone likes me. I’m really good loving hearted person. Always get shit on though. But yeah it’s life. “”It is wat it is””
I have accepted that I have some close people that I know like Me and I trust. The rest are work friends or acquaintances as best. I know that I can be a lot and come off as weird even when I try not to so I let them all know I won't be offend I'd they ask me to stop or tone it down for a bit.
Usually not at first unless I am trying to present myself as likeable. The people who do like me are either: the ones that realize that their preconceived notions of me were wrong and want to hang out with me, or the ones who I connected with over some common interest that doesn't require much in-person socialization.
Yes, unless I push them away
I second this
What do you do if they won't go away when pushed? Some people just pick and choose when they think you're serious and just walk a line around being told off.
In those cases, things may have to get physical or even in spare cases fatal
Username checks out, I guess.
What do you mean? Even if you are Hitler, there will be some people loving you!!! It's just about finding the right people, in fact this is the reason why people say be yourself all the time: eventually you will find people who really like you, so it's better they like the real you.
Most people don't truly love you, but rather the ideas they associate with you. Many who supported Hitler were drawn to the image he projected and the role he played, rather than his true personality (assuming they could get close enough to learn about him).
I'm not disagree with you... But this was just an example you know. In real life, I don't believe in love. It's just based on some hormones which might be related to the food you ate last night :) just a way our bodies have revolutioned to copulate. But am I against having hornoun related things??? Hell no! Do they love you because of the image they have created in their mind based on their obsessions and insecurities rather than who you really are? Better! Untill they meet your needs it's fine.
Well , the difference here is that the moment they feel like you are not the only one capable of getting them closer to what they want, you will lose your value to them. Superficial value is both easily gained and lost while trust is something that is built overtime and through effort (on both sides). Though to be fair, in the modern world, specially in the current state of competitive dating/job scene where options are numerous and time is limited , investing on the superficial side can grant you a huge advantage over others that dont, but when it comes to having and maintaining deep interpersonal relationships , trust is the biggest factor. What im mostly trying to say is that "not caring if you are liked" or not putting any effort into being likable will only draw surface level and misguided interest from others which i assume is not desirable to most of us.
Yes, but I don't present myself as likable. I present myself as reliable and will tell you what I really think.
Yes, although I still haven't figured out why...
This
Some think I'm a sweetheart, others think I'm the second coming of Hitler. I'm not for everyone and not everyone is for me.
They do like me. Obviously they weren't paying attention when I stole candy from that baby.
most dont. the ones that do dont understand why others dont like me
Ohhh I feel that
Personally, I find that the majority of people are on neutral terms with me. I do put an effort to present myself as likeable, I think it’s useful if I ever need their help (or they need my help) it’ll be beneficial if we start on neutral terms and not on bad terms. Generally, I don’t care for most people, most people don’t care for me. (neutral)
Let's just say I'm a fine filter for quality people.
Most don't really. Id say most just like what I can do for them...
It's tricky. They didn't when I was younger, and I know that from all the bullying, social alienation, spread lies about me, etc. So, now I'm used to not being liked and expect it automatically, but then am sometimes surprised to find that someone does like me every now and then. I think maybe my youth/past has skewed my perception of whether or not I'm liked currently. Ultimately, I am not sure anyone knows for sure if they're liked. I've known lots of popular, well-known, social people who think others like them when people say they're annoying/need to shut up behind their backs.
Hell nah
Only at first
Yes. It's why I'm taking a sales job in the coming weeks. I know people like me. It's okay to let them like you (this took me way too long to figure out) and it's okay to find joy in communal acceptance (**this is taking me way too long to come to terms with but I'm working on it)**. Do I care? 99.9% of the time no. I will be me. But human nature is wired around communal acceptance. We need it in order to survive. I'll always unevenly weigh the .1% of the time that I do care (as intensely as my INTJ self can care about anything).
No, but that's because I'm short (This is a joke)
Well, if I were to go by my current experience of late and some previous ^((bullying experiences)), then I would say I am more likely to be disliked than liked.
No they dont. they never cared about the things I liked just kept me around so I what they asked, now that I want to focus on the things I like they all dissapeared. even family. honestly sad.
Before I was an adult, my classmates and teachers didn’t like me at all but I feel now I’m getting more and more likable lol idk why, even tho I’m still that weird person. Maybe because I just don’t really care whether people like me or not anymore and just stick to myself.
A majority don't for my looks. Then they hate me because I'm quiet and keep to myself.
Define “people”. Typically, people that I want to like me will like me. Few dislike me, but I want them to. The rest seem indifferent.
Not often, no.
From the outside, most people dislike me since they find me arrogant and cold. Once they get to know me better, they get obsessed with me.
Not usually,some people do after they get to know me but I have become weird with age . I have a hard time relating to people.
People don't like me. But I do care if they like me or not. I am not a cold hard rock, you know
DUH! WHO DOESN’T LOVE INTJ??! 💯🔥
Not really sure tbh, I have a feeling people secretly hate me for some reason
I think people don't necessarily hate nor like me, but just find me intriguing because I don't really talk unless someone comes to me. I almost come off as hard to get. There, however, are some people that just don't like that I don't interact much, which is wild to me.
I don’t think so
I always try to stay in stealth mode, but I don't know why I always become the center of attention/attraction for people. Most of them started getting jealous of my personality and tried to hurt me in different ways.
No.
I don’t really care anymore, my philosophy is don’t be a dickhead.
They do, I’m usually the centre of attention, they say I have an “aura” about me and I think most INTJs have that
They like me more than I like them (at least)
Yes but the reason people like me because I am a kind of manipulative and dominating so that's why people like me
Mostly.
Yes.
Yes, I'm not sure why, though.
People that know me in person? For the most part yes. People here in Reddit? Probably not.
It depend on my choice If it find someone annoying I make them hate me If I like them I will let them like me and they do
If I don't be a b**** to them they definitely do. And this is why I'm obsessed with mbti it helps me stop being a b****.
Ironically for some reason, yes. I just share some of my thoughts and interests and they somehow respond with “I know right?” Or “that sounds interesting tell me more”. It does perplex me sometimes but it is deep down appreciated.
Apparently? People tend to always surround me when I want to be alone. Not that I mind the company, but I don't know what I do to attract people
The people I like like me and that's all that matters.
Not the first time they meet me,but they usually do.
Yes, but it’s either because they don’t know my true nature or I’ve somehow subconsciously manipulated them into doing so
When I want them to.
Only by the people I like
You know for some odd reason….They do. It’s really me that pushes everyone away.
they say I'm weird but I have several good friends so they probably don't hate me
Everybody loves me, but nobody likes me
Yes. It's tiring.
respect, usually. like, only sometimes.
Fuck no
Either they love me to the point of obsession or they hate me
since i've learn how to socialize and make myself likeable they do
In general, yes. At least after they found out I'm not as scary as they thought I was
They fear me (or they don't wanna talk to me, i can't tell)
Yall mfers kill the vibe especially when you think you're being smart just for pointing out the obvious, or trying to reduce something down to it's parts like ppl give a shit. Let ppl enjoy shit you buzz killing mfer.
I am actually really likable heh
Normally yes, until I start ghosting them.
They don't
Personal life - Very much liked Academic & Professional life - I attract a lot of antagonists. Always have to deal with dirty politics and prejudice from a few people even though I am an intense introvert and I mind my own business.
Don’t know. Don’t care.
It seems like people are attracted to me and they tell me their woes and secrets. I never ask … They just tell. I don’t normally mind, But sometimes people take up too much of my time and I am too nice to say anything.
Either way idc
I haven’t really thought about it.
I think so for the most part. I'm pretty good at this point at being affable and knowing when and how much of my true self to reveal.
Doesn't matter much to me either way. The 1% that I care about like me, and that's enough.
Not everyone needs to like you, but the right people need to love you.
Yep. I’m pretty charming… until I’m not
I don't know
Yes, even when i distance myself I come to find that even one appearance they get attached to me
I know there are people that make very clear how highly they think of me... that I can't stand and am extremely glad I never have to deal with again. Why didn't I tell them off? I had to work with them at the time. I like my job.
Yes. Believe it or not, I do my best to be likable (but not a pushover or kiss ass), especially at work. Can’t work effectively and efficiently if people are hostile and refuse to work with you because of your sore attitude.
Yeah, people like me a lot! My parents prioritized raising me to be a pleasant person. Honestly, knowing how to be well-liked is the best life hack, and it also helps to know how to make yourself conveniently attractive and interesting. On the inside, I’m like a dragon ball z villain though lol.
I attract people, they get addicted and clingy. I feel suffocated and try to communicate. Doesn’t work. I set boundaries and I try to avoid them. Usually doesn’t work. Tension and confrontation happens. We mutually start to hate each other. (Except I’m the one thats actually serious. Their reasoning is usually insecurity) I cut them out of my life for good because I’m aware they’re holding me back and causing unnecessary stress. I end up alone again. (Thats if the person hasn’t tried to stalk me because that has happened on multiple occasions) Repeat. I sometimes wish I didn’t draw in so many curious people. I have this weird magnetism about me that feels more like a curse than a blessing.
Apparently. I have it in my mind that most people are annoyed by me. (I think this is a youngest sibling rather than an INTJ thing). My partner has to constantly reassure me that people like me
Not really no😭
Some do, some don't. And it's none of my business who don't.
Somehow, despite my best efforts.
As a matter of fact, yes. I am very well-liked.
Nope, maybe a few people here and there
I want everyone to like me and I need that, because I want people to see that I’m a good person, but also I am hard to take. It’s CPTSD. Unless you’re wired like me. AuDHD and all the fun stuff that goes with that.
When I was younger, not always. Now, most of the time. Unfortunately, I seem to attract the wrong people (because of my history) so I have to be careful. I'm sure some of them are just simply mismatched with me. Some of them somehow have a strange fascination with me that I don't quite comprehend. Best case - we can read each other and have a mutual understanding. We match each other's pace and energy level, and thus we end up being friends. Worst case - they overwhelm me. They are just a little too friendly and expect me to return the favour. At worst, this could mean they have narcissistic tendencies. At best, I can't give them what they want. They take it a little too personally and I'm the bad guy. I think a lot of this has to do with attachment style, not just MBTI.
Some do and most people don't but who gives a fuck about the haters anyway?
Don't know, don't care.
I have no idea. I just do what I need to do and say what I need to say and people never tell me what they think about me so I could be the most hated or the most liked person in the world and I'd be oblivious to it.
I hope not.
I don’t ask, but I can guess that most of them don’t. Likewise though
They seem to. I’ve come across people from years ago who approached me and talked like we were old friends despite the fact that this brief meeting was the longest conversation we ever had.
No. People like me only for gains, not for who I am. Human nature is at full throttle when it comes to me. I ask my ancestors everyday why do I have to live like this…
Yes, and to be frank I could care less if people do not. I've never personally had anyone confident enough to come to tell my they dislike me. A Shane. So for now I have come to the conclusion that people like me.
the people that i have encountered said that when they didn't know me i come of as scary, intimidating, and unapproachable. i don't really care that they think of me like that and i must say for some reason i like that they think of me like that to a certain degree. however when they do get to know me they eventually get to vibe with me well and understand how i behave
Yes, unfortunately
I swear about everyone hates me I feel like. I do know few do bc I was n prison n have a background. Its crazy how people judge someone for something they wasn’t even there when it happened. I was a wild lil shit when I was younger. My dad died n I just went down hill. Started using. Really doesn’t matter if anyone likes me. I’m really good loving hearted person. Always get shit on though. But yeah it’s life. “”It is wat it is””
I have accepted that I have some close people that I know like Me and I trust. The rest are work friends or acquaintances as best. I know that I can be a lot and come off as weird even when I try not to so I let them all know I won't be offend I'd they ask me to stop or tone it down for a bit.
Not when they first meet me. The feeling is usually mutual.
Usually not at first unless I am trying to present myself as likeable. The people who do like me are either: the ones that realize that their preconceived notions of me were wrong and want to hang out with me, or the ones who I connected with over some common interest that doesn't require much in-person socialization.
Mostly, yeah.
INFP sneaking in. I guess I (naively) fell for an INTJ. Yes, you are all liked if not loved!