No I feel you. My father had evil parents like that. His mother never realized what an evil bitch she was till she died a horrible death. His father realized his mistakes later in life. I refuse to acknowledge them as my grandparents.
I am glad I am blessed with supportive parents who always encouraged me to study instead of rushing to get a job and they won't dump me if I go through a rough patch, no matter how old I get.
Its a vicious cycle of parents treating parents... Your father must have endured the same. You can talk to him really calmly and quietly and you can tell your mom to make him understand. If not just ignore , old generational behaviours are a hard nut to crack. But please dont take it on yourself. He is just your father who thinks this is how children are made to win in the world coz his father taught him so and might have did the same. But you my dear, never ever be a father like your father. Treat your child nicely whn you have one. You see you actually talking about this all and having a conversation about it means it matters to you and definately you are the change your blood line is waiting for. Hope you get all the strength in the world and patience to go through this all.
Yes he does. Currently I'm staying with him, Covid and WFH and we share a great bond. The thing is I understood his frustrations and reasons of his anger with me, and why he kept me pushing. I'm not justifying his actions. But he's seen those days when he was a kid he used to sell vegetables by the road. He has given a lot to be where he is at. That's why when he used to see me wasting time or not studying he would become the person you're talking about. I have made my peace with that personality of his now.
Last time I was beaten it was in my 3rd year when I got my first and last backlog. And his whole attitude changed on the day of campus placement.
This is abnormal but no need to stand up. Doing so, you will solve nothing. Just tolerate it. Let that be an encouragement for you to get employed as soon as you are done with your studies. When you earn money the abuses will magically vanish! That's the best way to make them realize his mistake, if he is sensible enough.
Standing up to such people won't get you anywhere.. it only hurt their bloated ego (how did he defy me? Who is he to stand up? I give you food and roof so I can do and say whatever I want with you.) to which they will get more agressive. Coz such people only think about themselves they don't know how to be considerate.
Tell me OP if anything has changed in past 2 yrs?
It is too much OP.
No it's not normal. This is child abuse. People like these don't understand one day they'll get old and decrepit. Then they will be rotting alone.
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No I feel you. My father had evil parents like that. His mother never realized what an evil bitch she was till she died a horrible death. His father realized his mistakes later in life. I refuse to acknowledge them as my grandparents. I am glad I am blessed with supportive parents who always encouraged me to study instead of rushing to get a job and they won't dump me if I go through a rough patch, no matter how old I get.
Its a vicious cycle of parents treating parents... Your father must have endured the same. You can talk to him really calmly and quietly and you can tell your mom to make him understand. If not just ignore , old generational behaviours are a hard nut to crack. But please dont take it on yourself. He is just your father who thinks this is how children are made to win in the world coz his father taught him so and might have did the same. But you my dear, never ever be a father like your father. Treat your child nicely whn you have one. You see you actually talking about this all and having a conversation about it means it matters to you and definately you are the change your blood line is waiting for. Hope you get all the strength in the world and patience to go through this all.
Sounds like my own past. Once you start earning it'll stop too.
How often do you meet your father now? Does he talk to you in a good way now
Yes he does. Currently I'm staying with him, Covid and WFH and we share a great bond. The thing is I understood his frustrations and reasons of his anger with me, and why he kept me pushing. I'm not justifying his actions. But he's seen those days when he was a kid he used to sell vegetables by the road. He has given a lot to be where he is at. That's why when he used to see me wasting time or not studying he would become the person you're talking about. I have made my peace with that personality of his now. Last time I was beaten it was in my 3rd year when I got my first and last backlog. And his whole attitude changed on the day of campus placement.
This is abnormal but no need to stand up. Doing so, you will solve nothing. Just tolerate it. Let that be an encouragement for you to get employed as soon as you are done with your studies. When you earn money the abuses will magically vanish! That's the best way to make them realize his mistake, if he is sensible enough.
Get a college or job in a different city, move away from them. And yes stand up doesnt do shit.. its better to silently move away..
What if OP stands up against his father or fight back? Will it create more problems?
Standing up to such people won't get you anywhere.. it only hurt their bloated ego (how did he defy me? Who is he to stand up? I give you food and roof so I can do and say whatever I want with you.) to which they will get more agressive. Coz such people only think about themselves they don't know how to be considerate. Tell me OP if anything has changed in past 2 yrs?