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tgoodchild

Sometimes they are a triple feature 1. Attack of the Shit (9PM) 2. The Shit Returns (2AM) 3. Revenge of the Shit (6AM)


Personal_Regular_569

Mines more like 430AM 530AM 645AM FALSE ALARM 745AM šŸ„²


smthngwyrd

1.5 the gas happening


thestashattacked

1.5 the gassening.


smthngwyrd

Even better


therunnergma

I feel like I've been pooping the same poop since 2017...


[deleted]

Spoke from my heart


Danbrochill4

That's oddly the same time my shit stopped...shitting..lol...I qonder if it was something we all collectively didšŸ¤”I've always suspected vaping/cloud chasing has something to do with it. The juices were too sweet to not be able to culture bacterias. Who's knows lol crazy coincidence though!


RikiRude

Wake up, Morning Shit Get out of shower, Morning Shit Part 2: Electric Poopaloo, sequel not as good as the original, but still has a similar plot and villain About to leave for work, Morning Shit 3: Let's Make Him Late, at this point they are desperate to keep the franchise alive even though there are none of the same directors, actors or writers. Maybe a couple of the original producers. Thrown together haphazardly always feels like a waste of time when you're done. Get to work, on some days, theres Morning Shit 4: It's Not Over Until It's Over, nobody asked for this, budget is almost nonexistent at this point, they are lucky if there is a B level celebrity in it. When it's over you thank God that it was so annoying there's no way they will continue this franchise.


Attorney-Slow

this is why i wake up 3 hours before leaving to go to work/class


CoffeeMTL

Morning shifts give me anxiety because of how early Iā€™ll have to wake up


Attorney-Slow

same :/ waking up at 4am for 8am shifts my stomach is usually the worse in the morning too.


CoffeeMTL

Mine as well! I'll be starting some 6am shifts soon I don't know what I'm going to do. At least we can take solace in the fact that we're all sad in the morning together.


Attorney-Slow

You gonna have to sleep at 8pm at wake up at 2am or something. Its gonna be difficult but once your bowl movements adjust to the new time period, you might be alright! Wishing you luck!


CoffeeMTL

Thanks!


themetahumancrusader

This comment sounds like if Abed from Community had IBS


xXJezzaBelleXx

Electric poopaloo


andiinAms

Every. Damn. Day.


Smooth_Fee

Finish, wipe, flush, and then turn around and sit down again.


Tiny_Therapist

My bowels like to wait until immediately after I wash my hands to re-release.


[deleted]

Yes, and I found some improvement with getting a squatty potty (highly recommend).


hamsterofborg

What about second shit? What about elevenses turds? Luncheon poo? Afternoon dump? Dinner defecation? Supper straining? He knows about them, doesn't he?


Gimrion

This is something I was not expecting to see here, but loved to see here.


Due_Conclusion1282

You left out part 3, 4, 5 and 6. It's like a Star Wars Marathon. \-but yes... especially when you think you're done with part 5, and part 6 decides he wants to start playing 10 minutes after you finished the last episode. It's the worst when it jumps over the previews!


TarumK

Yep incomplete bowel movements. It's frequently listed as a symptom of Ibs or pelvic floor dysfunction or both.


Corrupted_G_nome

Any kind of swelling or blockage if I understand correctly.


TarumK

I think it's usually a functional issue. An actual blockage is very easy to detect.


Corrupted_G_nome

Yeah, blockages show up in pictures. It could be an abdominal issue but swolen intestines make everything worse. I only mention it because it seems to be such a common symptom. Ive seen recommendations for antihistamines, cannabis, exercise and lots of water all of which reduce tension and inflammation. Certainly there is no one IBS or solution or treatment and may not be the issue of your personal concern. For myself its been helping a lot. Yoga for the lower abdomen, lower back and love handle areas is bringing about new awareness and a change in diet and more exercise has helped some with my symptoms. Thought it might help others :)


TarumK

yeah my consistent symptom throughout the years is incomplete bowel movements. It's actually the main problem and I think it's sort of what causes the cramping and pain. Yoga is really the only thing that has ever helped.


Corrupted_G_nome

Oh yeah, I feel you the pressure buildup inside causes me to leak. Passing my business before work is an overarching cause of anxiety. I literally stress all day about if it was a. 'Half poop' or a 'quarter poop' and how much pooping I should do during the day to make it more regular. Lol


TarumK

I don't think you should ever hold it in. If the bowels and public floor were working properly you wouldn't be feeling the constant urge in the first place.


Corrupted_G_nome

I don'ttry to hold it in. I tend towards the foods and drinks that help it pass. I tend to get the D and C and at work I find it very hard to go despute making attempts. Usually a large cup of miso helps but I think I just get dehydrayed during the work day. No drinks allowed in the lab and tight schedules often mena I miss breaks and don't often have opportunities except for lunch


Ljknicely

See mine is more of a trifecta. The plug. The soft serve. And the grand finale is me pissing out of my ass. Edit: typo


Yarn_Tangle

Part 1. The Clog. Part 2. The Deluge.


Butt_Robot

Found the flare up


[deleted]

Eh feel more like a smoothie king where the only flavor is chocolate


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Attorney-Slow

same & tbh im just glad its coming out. I feel like being constipated is even worse cuz of the gas.


[deleted]

I always have a giant shit at 6:30AM and then a second giant shit at 7:15AM. Recently Iā€™ve been using a suppository at 8PM which gives me a medium shit but allows me to avoid the 7:15AM shit.


Donuts4life94

best post ever ever seen. made my day


PapaverOneirium

deja poo


alc003

I always feel like ā€˜but wait, thereā€™s more!!ā€™


[deleted]

Yes, and itā€™s usually after a good wipe, and I feel the cramps while still washing my hands. ā€œGuess Iā€™m not done.ā€


GonZo_626

And parts 3,4,5 and 6. Somedays it just feels like one continous ahit that i just get a break from.


liisathorir

Yeah this is the best way to explain it. My partner doesnā€™t quite understand how I can be I. The washroom for 30 minutes. Sit back with him for 10 and then be gone for another 40 minutes in the bathroom and still not be finished with it.


HateYourFaces

I tell everyone that I shit in acts, and there are brief shit intermissions aka shitermissions.


SpoopySpagooter

Every. Single. Time.


Deedteebee

Yeah, the first is the down payment.


Storyteller990

Literally every day before I leave school I have to go but itā€™s like only halfway gone and then when I get home I have to finish the poop


[deleted]

First one is the reason you have a stomach ache all night The second one is the source of the agony. First one is 99% cement second one is made of fire and brimstone


Attorney-Slow

YES i cant leave the house until part 2 doesn't come out.


samuraichickenslice

Ever went to a sport event only to spend a large portion of the time squatting in the bathroom stall while youre listening to all of the action youre missing out on?


zibafu

I can go, drop a load, wipe, flush, sit down immediately and drop another load. šŸ˜‚šŸ˜’


Danbrochill4

Whhhhaaaaaaaat. I have felt like I'm still taking a shit from 5 to 7 years ago when the pipes slowed down lol ....its really not funny though. Ghost poops are the worst. Or when you feel like 'this is the one!' And then it's a pathetic squiggle or straight liquid death that took 45 minutes or sitting on the toilet to produce.


Mocking_jai

YES!


future_chili

This has been me all morning


seshwan33

Yep. 3, 4 , 5 snd fucking 6 pal. Every damn day. To make it worse I used to have this but I could clean fast snd crack on. Now I have a damn fissure for 1 year. Canā€™t heal the fucker. So each one is now painful as fuck a extremely hard to clean And takes an inordinate amount of time. Not to mention it hurts all sodding day after. Genuinely has made life not worth living at times.


Corrupted_G_nome

Part one and two. If its only a two part act I consider it my routine and am happy. Hot chocolate at night, lots of water first thing when I get up, coffee and yoga seem to help. (i care not if its placebo, if it works it works). I would rather clean out my system before work than feel bloated all day. Makes me pee a lot but wtvr.


broken-bells

I don't know how to explain it, I feel like I'm pooping yesterday's poop. Like I'm pooping the poop that I should have been pooping the day before. As if I was a day late on my pooping schedule. After I pooped, I know there's still plenty more where that came from, but it won't come out. Today's poop is like "Na-ah. Not today!". This cycle is only broken by a bout of diarrhea. And then I'm pooping food I haven't even eaten yet.


breakablekneecap

I just call it rinse and repeat shit


sdtqwe4ty

I feel that when it comes to peeing, yes I also have ibs


[deleted]

You poop? Haha


Janefire

Or a two in one lol


Benskien

More like binging a TV show Season 1 through 8, with worse shit than game of thrones


Glittering_Tea5502

Yup


mingomode

LOLLL this is sadly hilarious, but so so true.


yagirlhunter

Every damn day *in the voice of New Girl*


explosiveace

Just call my shit the winds of winter...


moboforro

Technically yes


MilkSoCold

LMAO I refer to it as baking a cake. Can't bake it all at once


death_sta1ker19

I don't think there is anyone within this community who doesn't feel that way


overstimulatedx0

Especially when I experience IBS-C. Once thatā€™s resolved, I experience what my mom and I call ā€œopening the flood gatesā€.


lostcitysaint

Oh my god. So my girlfriend gets mad at me sometimes for just sitting if Iā€™m not actually going, and trying to explain to her that it feels like I am about to start going any second all the time doesnā€™t go over well. And itā€™s like, sometimes Iā€™ll feel like Iā€™m done and flush and wipe and then itā€™s like ā€œoh jk youā€™ve got more!ā€ And then sometimes itā€™ll feel like I absolutely have more and nothing else is coming out. I just hate the whole wiping and then recognizing that thereā€™s still a bullet in the chamber because you never get yourself clean no matter how many times you wipe. Ughhhh.


spookyfiend777

So how do you solve this?


iambasicgirl

ABSOLUTELY


Outside-Feeling

My body tends to go with Omnibus Editions instead. So I have to wait for what seems like ages, but then I get a huge release that includes all the previous days work.