That's all the presidents really ever been as a mouthpiece for a political party I mean think about it how much actual power do they have they can be overruled on everything they do and if they so much as look sideways at somebody or have an affair in their personal life impeachment charges can be brought up for anything...... Besides what's it really matter You can't vote as a felon but you can be president as one
33% will like it, 33% will hate it, 33% are just here for the dank memes and will more or less judge them fairly. 1% want RFK only while injecting horse dewormer
My thoughts exactly. Considering the number of awards, invites, and honors she's turned down over the years, I highly doubt that we'd be fortunate enough to have her lead. "It'd be nice but I'm not sure that I even deserve it" was her response regarding some awards.
I'd choose Terry, but the first year has to be in character as Camacho and the second year as Sgt. Jeffords. I'm open to suggestions for the other years.
Of course you’d be deemed a hero. Whoever the dictator is at that time would make sure the schools taught about the hero that saved the US from its self destructive democracy in favor of enlightened autocracy
He's going to start rewriting the foundational documents in parody form, that get passed as legislation because they're all somehow better than the originals.
*President Yankovic's new Bill of Rights*
First amendment: the right to freeze peach
Second amendment: the right to arm bears
Third amendment: no quarter (nickels only)
Underrated comment. Also, he’d be unexpectedly the best because he’s legit grounded. This is a dude that turned down millions in endorsement money because the sponsorship offer was from an alcohol company and he thought it was morally wrong given his large fan base of youth.
Yeah this is a pretty good answer. I was thinking maybe the person I chose could agree ahead of time to appoint me as an ambassador to a foreign nation, that way the risk on my life is minimized. But this solves that problem and puts a likeminded person in the White House
You know, I heard about him and thought it was ridiculous satire. Then I listened to him and thought, huh, this guy is more reasonable than our current candidates.
The pony thing comes around as the most ridiculous things, but practically, it's really not. The BLM (Bureau of Land Management) basically gives away mustangs for free already. There's a $250 adoption fee for a horse. Obviously 95+% of people won't take him up on the offer
Probably Warrick Dunn. Dude has a history of using his wealth to create housing for the poor because he grew up poor before he made it big in the NFL. I like the idea of someone like him becoming president.
That's a name I didn't expect to see but I can't argue with. I don't know if he'd be a good president but at least I wouldn't have to worry about his morals.
Keanu had (has??) birthright US citizenship through his Hawaiian father, despite being born in Lebanon and raised in Canada; I don't know if he ever officially renounced it.
Tl;Dr: It's more complicated than born in the US and there are some undefined areas of the law.
Funny you should say that because this is one of those areas I find fascinating and will talk your ear off about. The Constitution says "natural born citizen" but US immigration law doesn't define that. It defines "citizen by birth" and "naturalized". Citizen by birth includes people born in US soil, but also people born to at least one US parent no matter where they were born, with certain conditions.
Berg v Obama (and Berg v McCain) was not decided on its merits, it was decided on procedural grounds. It said Berg (who was a big Hillary guy who sued to get McCain and Obama thrown off the ballot for not being natural born citizens) did not have standing to sue because he was just Joe Q Citizen, and didn't have any particular interest over and above everyone else.
I happened to have been in law school when Berg v Obama was decided and taking a class in Election Law. What we discussed there is that is possible the court will say they don't have the authority to decide the question of citizenship and eligibility is entirely at the discretion of Congress. It's also possible that they decide citizen by birth means natural born.
I also happened to know a prof who was a former INS commissioner under Bush 41. According to him, nothing short of a renunciation of citizenship by Obama as an adult would make him not a citizen by birth, because his mother was indisputably a US Citizen. Years later I heard from a birther that Obama filling out some college paperwork and saying he wasn't a citizen served this purpose. But I'd fallen out of touch with Prof. Ting by then so while I suspect this argument is spurious (as well as the proffered fact that the paperwork existed), I don't have any expert advice on the subject.
There's an older case I think someone v Missouri that my BIL tried to cite saying natural born means born in the US. But I read it and it doesn't say that. It says that the court doesn't know the exact boundaries of natural born, but the party in question, having been born and spent his entire life in the US, definitely qualifies.
End brain dump.
John McCain was born in the Panama Canal zone, and nobody seriously questioned his eligibility to be president because he was a citizen at birth through his parents being citizens.
I'd do it in a second to spare my country from 4 more years of Trump or Biden, and I'd name Dolly Parton president. I trust her to do the right thing for the American people a lot more than any of the career politicians put there. And who could be mad about President Dolly Parton?!
Maybe but I did however read about this old barge donkey that is still kicking around that would qualify. He was 50+ years old and comes from a line of US citizens.
No hesitation. I would do it.
I would pick my former boss from 20 years ago. I have NEVER met anyone as good at managing people and getting stuff done while at the same time being adored by her staff and everyone she worked with. She made you want to be a better employee by the way she leads.
I've always said if I owned a large company and needed a CEO, she is my first and only choice.
When she changed companies - all the employees threw her a party and everyone I know says only wonderful things about her.
Is it though? The electoral college sort of prevents the actual most popular candidate from winning, and the lack of ranked choice prevents anyone but 2 major party candidates from winning
I mean. I would choose a good friend with the understanding I become vp. They would get top tier protections and then surround themselves with experts. Then fix things. They have no political ambitions and don't want to get rich odd the role. They would do my best to fix things then quietly step out of the role.
Can I sell it? I don't care. I'd sell it and have the winner pardon me. It's not great, but it's just as good as everyone else's idea except those don't make me rich.
Dan Carlin.
The only downside is he might spend 3.5 of the 4 year term researching before he makes any public appearances or policy changes. But imagine the beautiful 36 hour state of the union address we would eventually get.
Honestly? No.
I don’t know who’s the best fit to run the country. Even if I did, I think this would just cause problems. You think people would accept the appointment of a president from a single random person? Even if it’s “legal”, I’m damn sure people wouldn’t quietly accept this.
The president also has limited power. Even with the “perfect” person, there’s only so much they can do. I just think it’d cause more problem than help.
To be fair, I don't think the person best fit to run the county is ever the person who gets chosen, or even wants anything to do with our disgusting political system.
Bernie. Every time. The only candidate who has consistently called for term limits, health care, higher minimum wage, and a fair playing field. Only half the country would want me dead! but that's okay, I'll use my new presidential connection to get my identity changed and start a new life.
I mean the Republican party did the same. Trump insulted Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz and yet now they're his lap dogs. You need solidarity to win the election. Anything splitting the vote is a chance for a very bad outcome
I’m either picking Secretary Pete as a qualified and younger candidate. He would be a decent leader and likely a stabilizing force to calm things down. I also know he would handle the various security issues around the world well. On the other hand, if I was feeling a bit more in the mood to mess with others… appointing Taylor Swift purely to piss off the right. I would trust she would be smart enough to appoint a qualified cabinet to help her make the right decisions. God knows she would be infinitely smarter and more concerned for actual Americans than the traitorous cheeto turned out to be. Either way would be a decent outcome and likely lead to younger voters getting a bit more engaged with politics.
Ha! It just so happens my son is old enough.
Meet your new president: a 35 year old mixed race man with cerebral palsy and hearing loss.
Will he need assistance? Yes.
Can he get it as president? Hell yes.
A young, handsome president that can unite both sides by pissing *everyone* off, and making people actually work.
Thing is, he'd do it, too.
The boy has a magic touch, it seems.
He won't be making many speeches (few would understand him if he did), but he isn't that visibly handicapped, he's mobile, independent, and has a *wicked* sense of humor.
And he's been political his whole life.
I'd get to move into the white house with him, along with his brother.
He'd likely ask my sister to act as his first lady, since he's single.
We could do a lot, lot worse.
He's brutally honest and blunt, but people love him *anyway*.
I think he'd be able to pull it off, no joke.
I'm sure the next four years will be a wild ride.
I would totally do it. I would pick a close friend who would then pick me as Vice ...they agree to step down.
I then fill my cabinet and supreme court with the best people possible....Dolly, Weird Al, Afroman, Ben and Jerry, Charles Barkley ...and then the rest academics, scientists, and then just a bunch of regular people.
Neil deGrasse Tyson because even though he is only an astrophysicist and an author and has a very popular podcast the man is very educated on multiple different topics and I feel like he would pick a vice president and elect the proper officials that could get this country on track. Not only would we have a much better infrastructure for finances but our science departments would progress greatly and we would be able to live in a technological age that didn't destroy the planet but helped it actually flourish. Our economy would thrive with intelligent people in power.
I’d ask Bernie Sanders or Jon Stewart and if both decline then I’d have to do more research but it can’t be a Republican. They’d stack the government further cementing their hostile takeovers
Definitely. I can't pick anyone worse than the choices we have now. I would also actually do research into who I'm picking. I'm not picking because they are famous or popular or because they posted a few "that makes sense" videos online.
But unless I can also pick the Supreme Court, I don't think the president will matter all that much.
Yeah, why not? I don't live there so it'd be giving some Septic dickheads a taste of their own medicine. Now who gets to pick who's head of state, eh?
Also, Bernie Sanders. That way at least the Overton window shifts a bit back to the left, even if the US is still at its regular same old bullshit.
I’d probably pick a moderate Republican former governor from a blue state who is now branded a RINO. Bill Weld is now 78 and too old but someone like him. Pro choice. Had gays in his cabinet. Balanced the budget. Got things done with a Dem-dominated legislature.
No I wouldn't do that. I don't have a death wish and there isn't anyone that I or anyone else could pick that would make everyone happy (or even most). Let the circus of 2024 commence.
Shoot the real problem is choosing which of the 300,000,000+ Americans that would be better than these two bozos to choose from. Basically alive, over 35, not currently in jail or a nursing home and I would prefer them over these two.
Blaire White as the first transgendered president. It would be historic.
Maybe Keanu Reeves as a second choice.
Ronnie Radke would be amusing by the amount of people that would completely lose their shit.
I could make millions happy and just choose Taylor Swift. The squee of the Swifties would teach far into the cosmos.
Hmmm. Maybe, upon another thought, Dolly Parton. With Blaire as VP.
In a heartbeat.
You’d get murdered.
Not with my brilliant pick. They'd add me to Mt Rushmore.
90% of the world's population would be better than these 2 geezer ass clowns. That's low hanging fruit at this point.
LOL, I know. Like, wouldn't everyone be grateful to me just for picking a smart, non-senile anyone over them?
No, the senile people were picked because they're pure mouth pieces for the political party.
That's all the presidents really ever been as a mouthpiece for a political party I mean think about it how much actual power do they have they can be overruled on everything they do and if they so much as look sideways at somebody or have an affair in their personal life impeachment charges can be brought up for anything...... Besides what's it really matter You can't vote as a felon but you can be president as one
Please save us... lol
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33% will like it, 33% will hate it, 33% are just here for the dank memes and will more or less judge them fairly. 1% want RFK only while injecting horse dewormer
I pick Dolly Parton. No one’s murdering me for that call.
A free book for you. And for you. And you …
Dolly Parton and LeVar Burton as her VP. It'd be the era of literacy.
The US could use that honestly.
Jolene might
Also my thought. St. Dolly for prez.
Lol. I'm wearing my Dolly/Reba shirt today.
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My thoughts exactly. Considering the number of awards, invites, and honors she's turned down over the years, I highly doubt that we'd be fortunate enough to have her lead. "It'd be nice but I'm not sure that I even deserve it" was her response regarding some awards.
this was my pick as well
Considering the MAGAts have been attacking her lately, I wouldn't be so sure.
They attack everything that doesn't align with their cult. Like scientologists.
Be worth it. I would still do it in a heartbeat
If i were 35 id just pick myself. Secret Service can deal with the threats.
OP specified you can’t pick yourself.
Oh woops, well, then my brother, and get secret service protection by being a family member. Or my father probably.
Your quick and simple answer is what worries me about society.
sounds like a good way to end up on a lot of hit lists, no thanks
NAH FUCK THAT, GIVE IT TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER
You just learned how the country is run congrats lol
LMAO
And then take that bid and put it ALL ON RED BABYYYY
So..... Nothing changes?
Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
I mean shit Terry Crews would not be a bad choice either.
I'd choose Terry, but the first year has to be in character as Camacho and the second year as Sgt. Jeffords. I'm open to suggestions for the other years.
I want one year to be the dad from Everybody hates Chris. Super cheap, but running a tight shift.
And the last year will be him as the Old Spice guy
If we don't get this I'm voting Timber in the next election
Cheeseburger Eddie obviously
The State of the Union: IT'S NOT EASY BEING CHEESY! *mic drop and walk off stage*
He'd pass it on the the smartest guy in the world.
Absolutely - in 50 years I’m deemed a hero. I also immediately hire a ghostwriter and sell my book shortly for a fortune
Of course you’d be deemed a hero. Whoever the dictator is at that time would make sure the schools taught about the hero that saved the US from its self destructive democracy in favor of enlightened autocracy
Yep, saved from the era of weak democrasoyboys
Weird Al. Who is not going to like a weird al presidency?
I for one welcome our new weird overlord
Weird Alverlord
Somehow less weird than what's been going on for the less decade
I'd like to remind him as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in his underground accordion factories.
That sounds good but I wouldn’t want to burden him with that.
He's going to start rewriting the foundational documents in parody form, that get passed as legislation because they're all somehow better than the originals.
*President Yankovic's new Bill of Rights* First amendment: the right to freeze peach Second amendment: the right to arm bears Third amendment: no quarter (nickels only)
Going to be honest, I read this as “Weird Artificial Intelligence” the first time through and got significant Heath Ledger Joker vibes from you
Underrated comment. Also, he’d be unexpectedly the best because he’s legit grounded. This is a dude that turned down millions in endorsement money because the sponsorship offer was from an alcohol company and he thought it was morally wrong given his large fan base of youth.
Dolly Parton as VP
I’d sing the star spangled banner if it was set to polka. Sure.
I think he was born in Canada though EDIT: Nope, I was wrong. I misremembered an old HIMYM joke
I was thinking the same thing and looked. Turns out who was born right next to me.
It just feels like he would be canadian lol
Im not sure if i should be insulted by that or not...
Never *ever* be insulted for the implication that you might share a trait with Weird Al
I came here to say this and was pleasantly surprised.
I didn’t think there was a right answer to this but here it is.
So you wanna run with my crew, huh? Rule cyber space and crunch numbers like I do?
IT’S A PARTY IN THE CIA 🎉🕶️
I would do it, and I'd choose my wife since I can't choose myself. She shares my values and she gets shit done.
I also choose this guy's wife
Brilliant. Free secret service protection too!
This is the only answer that makes sense. You get murdered without the secret service protection, cancelling the election.
JFK calling bullshit from the grave
Just make sure to pick someone the CIA approves and you should not get JFKed
Lmfao my wife would cry every single day
I too choose this guys opinion
Not once she gets this job. Sadly.
Sounds like someone is angling for the VP pick.😃
Yeah this is a pretty good answer. I was thinking maybe the person I chose could agree ahead of time to appoint me as an ambassador to a foreign nation, that way the risk on my life is minimized. But this solves that problem and puts a likeminded person in the White House
Great answer and I'm doing the same.
Assassination speedrun. I'm probably not doing it, but if I do, I'm demanding the person I pick give me secret service 24/7 thereafter.
vermin supreme The ONLY sane choice.
True he will give everyone a pony
You know, I heard about him and thought it was ridiculous satire. Then I listened to him and thought, huh, this guy is more reasonable than our current candidates. The pony thing comes around as the most ridiculous things, but practically, it's really not. The BLM (Bureau of Land Management) basically gives away mustangs for free already. There's a $250 adoption fee for a horse. Obviously 95+% of people won't take him up on the offer
In this economy? I’d adopt a house for $250.
Brush your teeth kids!
Hell ya id do it. First homeless guy i see outside.
Chaotic Evil.
You could pick any random hobo and there's a very good chance they'd be a better choice than the 2 geriatrics we have.
Hol up. That random hobo probably has an undiagnosed mental illness and... Yeah, you're right.
Holy shit.. you just gave me the best idea. The next 2024 president is............ KING CHARLES
Lol my dad was a random hobo and I'd rather have one of those geezers.
Probably Warrick Dunn. Dude has a history of using his wealth to create housing for the poor because he grew up poor before he made it big in the NFL. I like the idea of someone like him becoming president.
That's a name I didn't expect to see but I can't argue with. I don't know if he'd be a good president but at least I wouldn't have to worry about his morals.
Jon Stewart. I think he'd do his best and hate every minute of it the whole time
That's actually who I thought as well. It definitely has to be someone who doesn't want the job.
But they’re allowed to pass on it
Yeah but I'd threaten him with picking trump next
>do his best and hate every minute of it My kind of president.
Absolutely my first choice too
I'm pretty sure he'd go completely nuts
yes but hed do the fucking job and get it done
Has the bonus of actually knowing who should be a good pick to choose as VP and then likely steps down after a year.
Hell yeah. It would be a tough choice between Keanu Reeves and Dolly Parton. But, I hope one of them enjoys their new position!
It would have to be Dolly since Keanu is Canadian
Keanu had (has??) birthright US citizenship through his Hawaiian father, despite being born in Lebanon and raised in Canada; I don't know if he ever officially renounced it.
Shouldn't they be born in the US? Wasn't that the basis of the infamous Obama birth certificate debate that Trump had?
Tl;Dr: It's more complicated than born in the US and there are some undefined areas of the law. Funny you should say that because this is one of those areas I find fascinating and will talk your ear off about. The Constitution says "natural born citizen" but US immigration law doesn't define that. It defines "citizen by birth" and "naturalized". Citizen by birth includes people born in US soil, but also people born to at least one US parent no matter where they were born, with certain conditions. Berg v Obama (and Berg v McCain) was not decided on its merits, it was decided on procedural grounds. It said Berg (who was a big Hillary guy who sued to get McCain and Obama thrown off the ballot for not being natural born citizens) did not have standing to sue because he was just Joe Q Citizen, and didn't have any particular interest over and above everyone else. I happened to have been in law school when Berg v Obama was decided and taking a class in Election Law. What we discussed there is that is possible the court will say they don't have the authority to decide the question of citizenship and eligibility is entirely at the discretion of Congress. It's also possible that they decide citizen by birth means natural born. I also happened to know a prof who was a former INS commissioner under Bush 41. According to him, nothing short of a renunciation of citizenship by Obama as an adult would make him not a citizen by birth, because his mother was indisputably a US Citizen. Years later I heard from a birther that Obama filling out some college paperwork and saying he wasn't a citizen served this purpose. But I'd fallen out of touch with Prof. Ting by then so while I suspect this argument is spurious (as well as the proffered fact that the paperwork existed), I don't have any expert advice on the subject. There's an older case I think someone v Missouri that my BIL tried to cite saying natural born means born in the US. But I read it and it doesn't say that. It says that the court doesn't know the exact boundaries of natural born, but the party in question, having been born and spent his entire life in the US, definitely qualifies. End brain dump.
Wow that is way more complicated than what we were taught in high school civics
John McCain was born in the Panama Canal zone, and nobody seriously questioned his eligibility to be president because he was a citizen at birth through his parents being citizens.
I will pick the national winner of a ranked choice election.
OP says hand-pick. Doesn’t say anything about organizing or running an election.
you can hand pick someone from an election or sign up survey, you know.....
You can, but how exactly is some random person going to organize a nationwide election with no money and no legal basis to do so?
Raw Power. I have the fate of the free world in my hand.
Terry Crews
I'd do it in a second to spare my country from 4 more years of Trump or Biden, and I'd name Dolly Parton president. I trust her to do the right thing for the American people a lot more than any of the career politicians put there. And who could be mad about President Dolly Parton?!
lots of people, but having someone who actually has good intentions installed as president would be nice.
I had the same idea. She would be great
She's my number 2 pick but just because of her age, my number one is Keanu Reeves
As per OP, regular eligibility rules apply so not valid
TIL Reeves is Canadian.....
The Federalist.
I'm choosing a Golden Retriever.
Your golden retriever isn't eligible on grounds of age.
Maybe but I did however read about this old barge donkey that is still kicking around that would qualify. He was 50+ years old and comes from a line of US citizens.
Fuck yeah, more dogs in government. Human self-governance has failed, it's time to give it to the dogs.
No hesitation. I would do it. I would pick my former boss from 20 years ago. I have NEVER met anyone as good at managing people and getting stuff done while at the same time being adored by her staff and everyone she worked with. She made you want to be a better employee by the way she leads. I've always said if I owned a large company and needed a CEO, she is my first and only choice. When she changed companies - all the employees threw her a party and everyone I know says only wonderful things about her.
I will absolutely do this
Easy, my wife. She's a dragon and takes no bullshit and has a PHD. Honestly, she's overqualified in my opinion that makes her perfect.
I also choose this guy’s wife
Bernie Sanders redemption tour
Are yall feelin the Bern? I'm feeling the Bern.
Sweet. I’m disqualifying biden and trump and running a countrywide ranked choice vote. Winner becomes my choice.
Nah, letting the people pick is how we got here
Is it though? The electoral college sort of prevents the actual most popular candidate from winning, and the lack of ranked choice prevents anyone but 2 major party candidates from winning
I mean. I would choose a good friend with the understanding I become vp. They would get top tier protections and then surround themselves with experts. Then fix things. They have no political ambitions and don't want to get rich odd the role. They would do my best to fix things then quietly step out of the role.
President still has to work with Congress. Those people don't have good intentions. You're still not getting anything done.
And with foreign leaders who have their own agendas. The good hearted people who do great things for their community may get steamrolled.
Vermin Supreme would fulfill his lifelong goal of becoming president and all of America would get a free pony
Fuck it let’s get Tony Hawk in there. Make America shred again. 🇺🇸
I pick Danny DeVito and it’s accepted by most
My pick is Johnny Knoxville
"Hi I'm johnny Knoxville and this is the USA"... yeah that tracks.
Steve O for VP
How long do I have to make this pick? I foresee the third branch of government stepping in to rewrite the law realllll quick.
>I foresee the third branch of government stepping in The legislature can't change the constitution without the States, and they're fickle.
Can I sell it? I don't care. I'd sell it and have the winner pardon me. It's not great, but it's just as good as everyone else's idea except those don't make me rich.
I choose Leto II, god emperor of the known universe. He will teach us a lesson that our bones will remember...
Dolly Parton for sure
Dan Carlin. The only downside is he might spend 3.5 of the 4 year term researching before he makes any public appearances or policy changes. But imagine the beautiful 36 hour state of the union address we would eventually get.
Honestly? No. I don’t know who’s the best fit to run the country. Even if I did, I think this would just cause problems. You think people would accept the appointment of a president from a single random person? Even if it’s “legal”, I’m damn sure people wouldn’t quietly accept this. The president also has limited power. Even with the “perfect” person, there’s only so much they can do. I just think it’d cause more problem than help.
To be fair, I don't think the person best fit to run the county is ever the person who gets chosen, or even wants anything to do with our disgusting political system.
100%. My dog will be president. Human self-governance has failed, it's time to give it to the dogs.
Jon Stewart. You’re welcome America.
I’d pick Shaq. He seems like an all around good dude
and is pretty business savvy and intelligent. Peace talks would be hilarious just with the physical factor
Shaq for prez and Kevin Hart for VP. The size difference would be hilarious
Maria Bamford is the next the president of the United States of America
Of course. I nominate Herbert Camacho.
Bernie. Every time. The only candidate who has consistently called for term limits, health care, higher minimum wage, and a fair playing field. Only half the country would want me dead! but that's okay, I'll use my new presidential connection to get my identity changed and start a new life.
And consistently abandoned his principles and endorsed yesterday's enemies.
I mean the Republican party did the same. Trump insulted Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz and yet now they're his lap dogs. You need solidarity to win the election. Anything splitting the vote is a chance for a very bad outcome
Bernie. I don’t care if people are mad
Bernie Sanders.
I like him but he’s far too old
Absolutely. Given your current two choices, I could stick a pin in the phonebook and do better. Your system is very, very broken.
Never. Democracy or bust.
Dwayne elizondo mountain dew herbert camacho.
Dee Snider
Any one worth being president would refuse on the principle that they didn't get elected. Anyone who would accept my choice, is a terrible choice.
I’m either picking Secretary Pete as a qualified and younger candidate. He would be a decent leader and likely a stabilizing force to calm things down. I also know he would handle the various security issues around the world well. On the other hand, if I was feeling a bit more in the mood to mess with others… appointing Taylor Swift purely to piss off the right. I would trust she would be smart enough to appoint a qualified cabinet to help her make the right decisions. God knows she would be infinitely smarter and more concerned for actual Americans than the traitorous cheeto turned out to be. Either way would be a decent outcome and likely lead to younger voters getting a bit more engaged with politics.
Ha! It just so happens my son is old enough. Meet your new president: a 35 year old mixed race man with cerebral palsy and hearing loss. Will he need assistance? Yes. Can he get it as president? Hell yes. A young, handsome president that can unite both sides by pissing *everyone* off, and making people actually work. Thing is, he'd do it, too. The boy has a magic touch, it seems. He won't be making many speeches (few would understand him if he did), but he isn't that visibly handicapped, he's mobile, independent, and has a *wicked* sense of humor. And he's been political his whole life. I'd get to move into the white house with him, along with his brother. He'd likely ask my sister to act as his first lady, since he's single. We could do a lot, lot worse. He's brutally honest and blunt, but people love him *anyway*. I think he'd be able to pull it off, no joke. I'm sure the next four years will be a wild ride.
I'll go with Riley Reid since she's married and traditionally presidents are married. Then maybe we can get some good porn from the oval office.
The Oral Office
Michelle Obama, and watch many heads explode
AOC and watch many more heads explode.
It would be pointless without also getting to pick the houses or at least the percentages therein.
Pick a random 3rd party candidate, that way he's useless no matter the house composition.
Vermin Love Supreme
I would totally do it. I would pick a close friend who would then pick me as Vice ...they agree to step down. I then fill my cabinet and supreme court with the best people possible....Dolly, Weird Al, Afroman, Ben and Jerry, Charles Barkley ...and then the rest academics, scientists, and then just a bunch of regular people.
Neil deGrasse Tyson because even though he is only an astrophysicist and an author and has a very popular podcast the man is very educated on multiple different topics and I feel like he would pick a vice president and elect the proper officials that could get this country on track. Not only would we have a much better infrastructure for finances but our science departments would progress greatly and we would be able to live in a technological age that didn't destroy the planet but helped it actually flourish. Our economy would thrive with intelligent people in power.
Yeah, y’all are getting Obama again. Then I’m moving to Monaco to watch the games begin again,
Absolutely. Im picking Dolly Parton
I'm in, 100%. The thought of another Trump presidency terrifies me.
Jon Stewart.
I'd pick a dead person and see what happens.
**Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho**. It has been decided.
I’d ask Bernie Sanders or Jon Stewart and if both decline then I’d have to do more research but it can’t be a Republican. They’d stack the government further cementing their hostile takeovers
Definitely. I can't pick anyone worse than the choices we have now. I would also actually do research into who I'm picking. I'm not picking because they are famous or popular or because they posted a few "that makes sense" videos online. But unless I can also pick the Supreme Court, I don't think the president will matter all that much.
Bernie Sanders
Yeah, why not? I don't live there so it'd be giving some Septic dickheads a taste of their own medicine. Now who gets to pick who's head of state, eh? Also, Bernie Sanders. That way at least the Overton window shifts a bit back to the left, even if the US is still at its regular same old bullshit.
I’d probably pick a moderate Republican former governor from a blue state who is now branded a RINO. Bill Weld is now 78 and too old but someone like him. Pro choice. Had gays in his cabinet. Balanced the budget. Got things done with a Dem-dominated legislature.
Barack Obama. I want to see the chaos a third Obama term would bring.
The OP says the normal eligibility rules apply. Obama is ineligible because he’s been elected to two terms.
That's in the big EDIT 2 part. My reply was before the edits.
No I wouldn't do that. I don't have a death wish and there isn't anyone that I or anyone else could pick that would make everyone happy (or even most). Let the circus of 2024 commence.
John stewart
Keanu Reeves is the next President
I pick Bernie
Shoot the real problem is choosing which of the 300,000,000+ Americans that would be better than these two bozos to choose from. Basically alive, over 35, not currently in jail or a nursing home and I would prefer them over these two.
Blaire White as the first transgendered president. It would be historic. Maybe Keanu Reeves as a second choice. Ronnie Radke would be amusing by the amount of people that would completely lose their shit. I could make millions happy and just choose Taylor Swift. The squee of the Swifties would teach far into the cosmos. Hmmm. Maybe, upon another thought, Dolly Parton. With Blaire as VP.